#this is the equivalent burning of the library of alexandria to me

[inkcovens]

living the amish life rn (watching my collection of muted fuffy tiktok edits on my phone as i sync them up to the song on youtube)

[kenobihater]

finding out a talented meta writer who was the equivalent of a character's preeminent scholar hasn't posted on their only blog in years

[lloydfrontera]

i don't know why it just clicked for me but like,,, to most people lloyd frontera died when he was 28. like. only the people closest to him know he came back as kim suho, as far as everyone else knows one day he went off to fight something and never came back. it's insane when you think about everything he did and the effects he had from an outside perspective.

because! it was only three years! he started building stuff when he was 25 and then "died" when he was 28! and in only three years he changed the world of construction and architecture! in just three years he made such an impact that his name is still remembered 300 years later! can you imagine the essays he inspired? the books written about him? how many engineering nerd tears he must have caused? he was this bright, shining and painfully brief spot of history in the magentano empire. like i can just imagine a drunk architecture student crying as they babble about what a fucking shame it was that he died so young when he could've changed the entire world if he had just lived a little bit more. like lloyd frontera is that one sore spot of every history nerd interested in architecture and construction because he could've done so much if he hadn't died so young. he's the lorasia equivalent of the library of alexandria burning down. like everyone is so sure the world would've been so much more amazing if he'd only lived past 28.

and meanwhile no one really pays much attention to that brief paragraph in the history book dedicated to the consort of queen alicia magentano, mother of empress charlotte magentano, who's most interesting quality is that he somehow managed to make queen alicia fall in love with him and have grandmaster javier asrahan follow him loyally for the rest of his life ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[deadgrantaires]

the loss of eveyrminjiwon blog is equivalent to the burning of the library of alexandria. to me

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

speaking of researching and stalking reader as a hobby, does yves actually see reader at the same level? like despite being in a relationship and going absolute lengths to make sure reader is happy and comfortable does yves see reader as subhuman or a pet? idk with all the things he does like manipulating reader to tolerate certain things, pick up or drop hobbies/traits, and then monitoring their every move and even doing experiments it feels like a scientist and lab rat dynamic is going on. it just makes me question if yves’ love is real or if it’s more equivalent to that of a hyper fixation.

Yves loves very differently. Yes, there is definitely a power imbalance here, but that's how he likes it. He wouldn't appreciate it if you did the same thing. His love is very much real, just projected through a very bizarre, very fucked-up lens. And although he mostly sees you as very recordable data, you are still (somewhat) a person to him. Absolutely leaning towards 'pet lab rat' territory, poking and prodding to see what you would do. Then using that information to predict future moves.

Yves wants you to be content, and curious but not too much. But, sometimes you cannot exist in a happy state with him. He isn't willing to compromise some parts of himself to fit into your ideal, so he goes the path of least resistance: manipulation, where the situation will become a win-win for both of you. He has some sort of tunnel vision too, contradicting himself by cutting an integral part of you (i.e., animal loving, wanting children, etc), even though he said he wants you to be the authentic you.

However, if his library of Alexandria is burning down and he has to choose between saving you and his precious files, he is saving you with no hesitation at all. Not even to grab a couple folders on his way out.

Perhaps to the average civilian, this is just a severe form of hyperfixation. But said hyper fixation is permanent. It follows you and him after death, and beyond that of human comprehension.

[officesupplied]

elsewhere is my biggest hyperfixation which sucks because nobody has heard of it (I don’t mean in a "there’s a fandom but I don’t know anybody irl" way or a "it’s vaguely obscure" way I mean I’m pretty sure I’m the only person online to have ever posted about this comic within a fandom context). It’s kind of alternate history kind of historical fiction but it’s a lot more "alternate" and "fiction" than it is history since it puts more focus on crazy adventures in an alien world than the real lives of the main protagonists (Amelia Earhart and D. B. Cooper) but if somebody was interested in fiction involving those characters (which I massively was before reading it. I watch/read every single D. B. Cooper media) they would probably like it.

It revolves around Amelia Earhart being transported into an alternate world named Korvath and fights alongside the natives against the evil overlord Kragen. There are a lot of plot twists but you can’t really explain the series without spoiling the extremely minor first one, that being the appearance of D. B. Cooper. At the end of the first issue, Amelia pretends to turn herself into Kragen’s prison in the hopes that her co-pilot Fred Noonan has been imprisoned there, only to find out that she has not in fact been put in a cell with Fred, but rather a sad little wet cat goofball named Daniel (he has stolen thousands of dollars in a famous skyjacking incident) and then in the next issue they escape and make their way back to the group.

I’m probably gonna have to get it out the way, Dan is my favourite character by far because he’s so silly. He’s always either a gremlin or a wet cat

^ his ass is having a good time! ^ his ass is not having a good time

it’s probably easier to sum up why I love him with my collection of Dan screenshots

he’s so caffeine addicted… (also canon/heavily implied bisexual‼️ which is why we are getting married‼️)

There are two arcs but it got cancelled after that because it didnt get enough sales (there was no promotion) (still kinda bugs me how comic companies don’t advertise their comics and then cancel them when they don’t make enough) which shall forever be my equivalent to the burning of the library of Alexandria. Because of the obscurity there is no‼️ chance of it coming back either…

i don’t really know how to end this so just have this random moment from the comic that aged extremely well

I despise when . Yknow. Canecellations. sounds really cool though !! Yeah you should marry that guy, he seems sick as fuck.

“fire in the hole!” guy looks like doctor doom. the art style is fun !! plot wise it also sounds fun. I’ll try to check it out sometime eventually

[birindale]

"Long before Light Hope came to Etheria, the planet's creators, the First Ones, recorded their considerable knowledge in the great library of Birindale." (MOTUC BIOS 2019 Eldritch Book of Spells). Very clever reference, made me enjoy this blog even more.

>:3c thank you anon i was very smug about it! in MOTUC continuity the First Ones burned that mother down so it's a bit like being named the Etherian equivalent of 'Alexandria' except, you know. slightly more dramatic.

[gintamajustaway]

WAIT im sorry im bringing this up but... those 3 ppl [or were there more?] were talking smack abt u in a PUBLIC gintama discord???? that u could see?? and u know who they all are?? i mean i dont want to b rude to them but isnt that kinda stupid??

Bold of you to assume that people who make callout posts and think it’s appropriate to attack people over fanfiction operate on any level of maturity, intelligence, or intellectualism LOL

It was more than 3, but yeah, it was all public. You’d think deleting your own fanfiction wouldn’t be that big of a deal (especially when you have your own personal and valid reasons for doing so), but apparently, it makes you a selfish abhorrent monster and people are supposed to attack you over it?

It’d be different if I’d attacked any of them in any form, but nope, all I’d ever done was delete my own fanfiction over two and a half years ago and according to them, “You can tell a lot about a person who deletes their fanfiction like that,” and that’s all the reason they need to gang up on someone.

I wish I could say this was the dumbest thing I’ve seen fandom do, but it’s not. And at the end of the day I genuinely just do not care about it all so... not sure what they were trying to accomplish by acting so childish, but whatever it was, I think all they did was make themselves look bad  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[kelyon]

Discworld is #1 on my TBR list, and if I can slow the hell down on writing, I absolutely want to start reading it. To help hurry that day along, what are some of your favorite parts of the series? Could be themes, settings, characters, whatever. Consider this an invitation to ramble as much or little as you want.

Don’t worry about spoiling me - I LOVE spoilers. Spoilers give me something to look forward to!

So the best thing about Discworld is also the worst thing about Discworld--the intertextuality. I realized this when I got back into the series after being away for a while, a lot of the books... kind of don't make sense the first time you read them. But! These same books are mind blowing the second or third (or forth or twelfth) time you read them.

It's like a whole language that you have to learn when you get into this world. Maybe "have to" is too strong, everyone starts somewhere--but you want to understand everything. I was very fortunate that I got into Discworld at the same time as my dad (who has a disposable income to invest in a series of more than forty books.) I guess it's the same as comic books (good comic books) where you hear about something that happened in the past or in another part of the "world" and you just want to know what that was about.

For example:

The Librarian of the Unseen University (wizard college, not to be confused with the wizard boarding school of a certain other British fantasy writer) is an orangutan. In the second book of the series, a magical accident turned a previously ordinary human Librarian into an orangutan. Throughout the series, he remains an exceptionally good Librarian, able to catalog and care for the hundreds of thousands of magical books under his care (even the ones that have to be kept on chains.)

In... let's say the fifth book, the rules of "L-space" are established. Basically saying that because books are known to warp time (ask anyone who's ever uttered the phrase "one more chapter") and time can have a nebulous connection with space, all libraries (especially magical libraries) are essentially one library. The mark of a really great librarian is the ability to travel through L-space to get the exact book the reader asked for ("I don't remember the title, but it had a red cover and in the end it turned out they were twins.")

So, later in, like, the tenth book when the Discworld equivalent of the Library of Alexandria is burning down, in a story that takes place hundreds of years and thousands of miles away from the wizard university. But! When the narration makes a passing mention of a large ape swinging through the burning library with two armfuls of books--the informed reader knows exactly what is happening and why. And the uninformed reader certainly wants to find out!

It's... intense. And definitely a series that lends itself to being obsessed over.

[hometownrockstar]

im sick of all the discussions about fanfiction treating it like the most important thing of all time like cant we just treat it as a simple hobby you do when you really like some characters from a show and you want them to date. like thats what it is to me its not that big a deal but some people have to act like criticism of it is equivalent to banned book lists or the burning of library alexandria like who even cares. please no more posts about the topic everyone just shut up and enjoy your stupid stories

[bitterteathoughts]

z-lib getting shut down is my equivalent of the burning down of the library of Alexandria

like this is genuinely heartbreaking for me

[mousemilf]

i cant find the pic i made of me w my arms around worf and will graham in bed w sunglasses and a cigar :-( its lost to the ages i guess....... this is like basically equivalent to the burning of the library of alexandria

[lesserfandomappreciation]

Ariadne and why the Mycenaeans can fuck right off

Warning: Includes brief mentions of r*pe, cultural destruction, ancient patriarchy reminding us why no woman would ever time-travel more than 5 years into the past if that and a great deal of spite for male historians/public education history/mythology classes. 

Possible side effects may include a sudden intense rage for an ancient society equivalent to the innate rage one has for the Romans burning the library of Alexandria, a distinct hatred for ancient men not being able to let anyone have nice things, and a sudden fascination for Minoa. 

Usually, I stick to writing imagines and being happy with that. It’s fun! I love it! But every now and again, in an attempt to escape the crushing forces known as reality and responsibilities I’ll put on a few cutscenes from games I’m: A) Too lazy to play B) Too broke to play C) Too unskilled to play D) All of the above

because cutscenes are free and why torture yourself with impossible levels when its free on Youtube?* *In all seriousness please support video games and video game creators, but no shame to those of us who prefer cutscenes to gameplay.  A few weeks ago I added the game Hades made by Supergiant to the list because the cutscenes were bomb and the characters are so much fun! Intricate as all hell! Hella cute too but that’s unrelated! Now my pretty little simp patootie is especially a big fan of Dionysus and his gorgeous design so the cutscenes with him are my favorite.

I’m re-watching his cutscenes a few nights ago for fun as background when he has a certain line about Theseus. Don’t quote me on this since my memory is foggy at best but roughly it was: Dionysus: Good job with Theseus. Never cared much for him- what he did to that girl was just horrible.*

*I know that’s not his exact line but this is clearly a rant post fueled by spite and ADD-hyper-focused obsessions with ancient civilizations so let’s not worry too too much about the semantics here. 

Now, I like mythology! Personally, I prefer the Norse mythology due to the general lack of very very gross dynamics that several other ancient mythologies seem to include, but I’m decently familiar with Greek mythos. Enough to go - “Why does the God of Wine give a single fuck about the frat bro of Greek heroes being a dick to a woman? Grossness is embedded into the very DNA of all distant relatives of Zeus, a woman being harassed by Zeus or his bastard army is a typical Tuesday in ancient Greece.” 

Wikipedia confirms that Ariadne is the only woman in the story of Theseus and the Minotaur, which I kinda knew already so unless Theseus did some f’ed up shit to some other princess of Minos, Dionysus could only be referring to her. Disregarding what I know about Wikipedia and how it can suck you down the rabbit hole of rabbit holes through sheer fury I stupidly clicked the link to Ariadne’s article. 

By the time we get to the end of this shitstorm, I will have two separate plotlines for two separate stories based of Ariadne, 2k+ notes (and going) on an ancient civilization prior to a week ago I didn’t know existed and within me there will be a rage towards a different ancient civilization I vaguely recall learning about in high school. 

Here’s how this shit went down. 

First of all, apparently after Theseus abandoned Ariadne on an island to die (yep! He did that! To the one person who is the only reason he defeated the minotaur! Fuck this guy.) there are multiple storylines where Dionysus takes a single look at Ariadne and falls in love. 

“A god falls in love?” you say, aware of how most love stories in Greek mythos can be summed up with Unfortunately, Zeus got horny and Hera is a firm believer in victim blaming. “This poor woman is about to go through hell!” I thought so too! And in one variation of the story, Dionysus does his daddy proud by being an absolute tool to Ariadne. In the majority though? He woos the fuck out of her, and ultimately marries her by consent!

Her consent!

In ancient Greece!

The party dude of the Greek pantheon knows more about consent then his father and modern day frat brothers!

Okay! That’s interesting, so I keep reading. 

Ariadne getting hitched to Dionysus is a big deal in Olympus, to the point of getting a crown made of the Aurora Borealis from Aphrodite who is bro-fisting Dionysus, beyond glad she didn’t have to give him the talk about consent. The rest of the gods are pissy especially Hera who doesn’t like Dionysus much since he is the son of Zeus and Semele but they don’t do much. Ariadne ascends to godhood, becomes the goddess of Labyrinths with the snake and bull as her symbol and that’s that on that. 

Colorin, colorado, este cuento se acabado.  And they lived happily ever after. That’s the end of the post right?

NO! Because curiosity has made me their bitch and there’s more to this calling me. 

Also, I was pissed! Still am! Why the fuck-a-doodle-do did I have to learn about the time Poseidon r*ped a priestess instead of the arguably healthiest relationship in the entirety of the pantheon? Why is Persephone and Hades’ story (which has improved since it was first written and I like more modern versions of it, no hate) the only healthy-ish Greek love story I had to learn when Dionysus and Ariadne were right there? The rage of having endured several grade levels of “Zeus got horny and Hera found out” stories in the nightmare of public education led me to keep looking into this. 

There’s this wonderful Youtube channel called Overly Sarcastic Productions that I highly recommend that delves a lot into mythology, and I have seen their bombass video about Dionysus and how his godhood has changed since he was potentially first written in a language we comprehend. 

Did ya’ll know this man is the heir apparent to Zeus? ‘Cause I didn’t know that!

YEA! Dionysus, man of parties, king of hangovers and inducer of madness, is set to inherit the throne of Olympus! Ariadne didn’t husband up the God of Wine, she husbanded up the Prince of Olympus and heir apparent to the throne! Holy shit! No wonder some of the gods were against her marriage to Dionysus - can you imagine the drama of an ex-mortal woman sitting on the Queen’s throne of Olympus? Hera must have been pissed.

BUT WAIT.

There’s more.

The reason we know Dionysus is a very important god and is possibly even more important than we think is because of a handy-dandy language known as Linear B, otherwise known as the language of the Mycenaeans!

For those of you fortunate enough to have normal hobbies and interests, the Mycenaeans were the beta version of the Greeks. Their written language of Linear B is one of, if not the first recorded instance of a written Indo-European language. This language, having been translated, gives us an interesting look at what the Greek gods were like back in their beta-stages before they fixed the coding and released the pantheon. 

Interesting side facts of the Mycenaean Greek gods include:

Poseidon being the head god with an emphasis on his Earthquake aspect, and being much more of a cthonic god in general. 

Take that Zeus, for being so gross. 

The gods in general being more cthonic, as Mycenaeans were obsessed with cthonic gods (probably due to all the earthquakes and natural disasters in Greece and Crete at that time)

Several of the gods and goddesses that we know being listed, alongside some that we don’t consider as important (Dione)

The first mention of Kore, later Persephone, but no Hades because since a lot of gods were cthonic, there would be no need for one, specific cthonic god to represent the majority of death-related rituals.

That’s not what we’re focusing on though! What we’re focusing on is a specific translated portion of Linear B that we have. One of the translated portions of Linear B that for the life of me I can’t find (someone please help me find it and send the link so I can edit this post) says an interesting phrase. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

One more time. “Honey to the gods. Honey to the Mistress of Labyrinths.”

Mistress of Labyrinths. 

Now wait a gosh darn minute. Isn’t there a goddess of labyrinths in the Greek mythos? Why yes! Yes there is! Ariadne!

Here’s a question for you. If Ariadne is but a minor god in the pantheon, a wife to a more predominant god, why is it that while all the other gods and goddesses are bunched together in a sentence of praise, the so-called ex-mortal gets a whole-ass sentence to herself singing praises?

And thus, we have arrived to Minoa!

What is Minoa, you ask? Minoa is to Rome what Rome is to us. An old-ass civilization either older than or younger by a hundred years to ancient Egypt. Egypt, that started in 3200 B.C-ish depending on who you ask. That’s old. Old as balls. They were contemporaries to their trading partner, Egypt until 1450 BC-ish. A 2000 year old civilization.

Minoa was founded on the island of Crete, and was by what artifacts we have found a merchant civilization with its central economy centered on the cultivation of saffron and the development of bronze/iron statues of bulls. Most of what we know about them comes from artifacts and frescoes found on Crete that managed to survive everything else I will mention later, but what matters is that we know a few things about them. 

Obsessed with marine life for some time, given their pottery. 

Had the first palaces in all of Europe, some of them ridiculously big. 

Wrote in Linear A and Cretan Hieroglyphs, both still untranslated languages. 

Had a ritual involving jumping over a bull, for some reason. 

Firm believers in “Suns out, Tits out.”

You’d think I’m kidding on the last one but no! No no no! All the women apparently rocked the tits-out look in Minoa!

^^^^One of many, many Minoan works featuring women giving their titties fresh air. ^^^^

“Wait a second Pinks! What does this have to do with Ariadne being the Mistress of labyrinths?”

Well you see dear wonderful darling, while we know very little about Minoan religion because Mycenaeans (we will get to those bastards in a second), we do know this:

All the religious figures appear to be exclusively women.

The most important figures of their religion seem to be goddesses as there are few artifacts featuring male gods.

Because of the religion, the culture may have been an equal society or even a matriarchy! Historians who are male aren’t sure. 

A frankly ridiculous amount of their temples, including the ones in caves in the middle of fuck-all feature labyrinths. A lot of labyrinths!

Their head god is a goddess! Whose temples have labyrinths and whose main symbols are snakes and bulls. Who do we know is a) the mistress of labyrinths and b) is symbolized a lot by snakes and bulls?

ARI-fucking-ADNE THAT’S WHO!

Ariadne didn’t upgrade by marrying the prince of Olympus! Dionysus wifed up possibly the most important goddess in all of Crete and becoming her boy-toy! 

I’m not even kidding, most Minoan depictions of the goddess’ consort features a boy/man who cycles through the stages of death. Dionysus himself in several myths goes through the same cycle - life, being crushed, death, rebirth, repeat.  Cycles the consort goes through in Minoan legend depictions too!

Okay, that’s great, but what does that have to do with the Mycenaeans? Why do you want to single-handedly go back in time and strangle the beta-Greeks with the nearest belt?

Everything I just said about Ariadne being a Minoan goddess, the Mistress of Labyrinths being hella important on Minoa, is all theoretical. The Mycenaeans are partially to blame for making it theoretical. 

Minoa thrived for 2000 years but it had a lot of issues, mostly caused by natural disasters. Towards the end of their civilization (1500 BC-ish), the nearby island of Thera, today known as Santorini, decided to blow up. The island was a hella-active volcano that when erupted, destroyed a lot. 

How big was the eruption? Well when Pompeii was wasted by Mt. Vesuvius, the blast was heard from roughly 120 miles away, 200 km. 

The blast on Thera was heard from 3000 miles away. 4800 km away.

Fuck me, the environmental effects of the explosion were felt in imperialistic CHINA.

Holy shit that would waste anybody! And it did! Minoa went from being a powerhouse in the Mediterranean to scrambling to recover from losing 40,000 citizens and who knows how many cities. Tsunamis may have followed the blast, further destroying ports which for a navy-powerhouse of an island nation is a bad thing and the theorized temperature drops caused by a cloud of ash lingering for a while would have destroyed crops for the year.

Minoa was fucked. 

The Mycenaeans and all their bullshit made it worse.

Up until a few hundred years prior to Thera’s explosion, Minoan artifacts don’t depict much in terms of military power. Why would it? Crete is a natural defense post. Sheer cliffs, high mountains and a few semi-fortified areas would make it pointless to invade. It’s only when the Mycenaeans in all their bullshit decided to attack/compete that Minoa really needed any army to speak of.

Guess who decided to invade while Minoa was reeling from an incredibly shitty year? Mycenaea!

Guess who won?

Also Mycenaea!

Nobody knows how this shit went down though because wouldn’t you know it, the Mycenaeans in all their superiority-complex glory decided to destroy most written accounts about Minoa, a good junk of the temples and culturally eliminated most of Minoan beliefs. 

Minoa isn’t even the real name of the civilization! It’s just the name Arthur Evans, the guy who re-motivate interest in Minoan archaeology, gave to the civilization because the writings that would have included the name of the civilization were destroyed.

“That sucks!” Fuck yes that sucks! “What does that have to do with Ariadne though?”

Oh ho ho. Strap in because you’re about to be pissed. 

Those of us unfortunate enough to be aware of all the bullshit the Christians pulled on the European pagan belief system are familiar with the concept of cultural, religious destruction. There’s a special name for it I don’t know but if I did I would curse it to be absorbed by the horrendous will of fungi. 

An example: Christianity was not the most popular of religions amongst the Vikings. A monotheistic religion that is heavily controlled did not strongly appeal to anyone with a pantheon as rad as the Norse one. 

In order to appeal to the Vikings, what monks would do is they would write down traditionally Viking stories which up until that point were orally passed down. Beowulf, the story of the most Viking Viking to have every Vikinged, was one of these first stories. 

However! Did these monks write Beowulf as closely to the original oral transcript as possible? Of course not! They took liberties! While Norse features such as trolls and dragons and all sorts of Norse magic occur, there is a lot of Christian features added in. 

This happened across all Pagan religions that Christianity came into contact with in Europe. Stories would be altered when written down to be more Christian (this happened to the Greek Pantheon too btw), holidays that were Pagan magically lined up with ones the Vatican just happened to suddenly have. Even names of mythological figures were taken and added onto Christian figure names. Consequently, a lot of pagan religions they did this to got erased over time, with many of their traditions and details being lost forever, and the details we do know being tinted by Christianity.

The Mycenaeans were likely no different. 

Minoa and Mycenaea were as culturally opposite as can be. Minoa is theorized to be a matriarchal or equal society*. Mycenaea and most of early Greece absolutely was not. In fact, during early stages of their religion where they believed in reincarnation, the Mycenaeans believed the worst thing to come back as was a woman. 

Did you get that? With your options ranging from man to ever single animal on Earth, a woman was ranked as beneath literal animals in Mycenaean society.

Fuck the Mycenaeans.

* This is not to say Minoa was without fault, as a society that is matriarchal or equal can still have rampant issues such as privilege, classism, racism, sexism and more, but when history has a shortage of civilizations that didn’t treat women like shit, you find yourself rooting for them more. 

 What do you do then, when you take over a society that is very much the opposite of a nightmare of a patriarchy? You fold their beliefs into your own to bait them into yours. Going back to the Linear B line about “Mistress of Labyrinths” that line would/could have been an early tactic of incorporating Minoan belief into Mycenaean belief. Other goddesses and gods were made into aspects of Mycenaean gods. Bristomartis, the Minoan goddess of the hunt, would become Artmeis. Velchanos, a god of the sky, would become Zeus. 

With more time, the religion shifted more into Mycenaean and eventually into ancient Greece as we know it. Through trade other gods and goddesses would continue to shift and change, some being straight up imported (Aphrodite for example). Dionysus himself changed a lot too, going from a God representing freedom and attracting slaves, women and those with limited power into his cult, to a God of parties for the wealthy. 

Theseus and the Minotaur was a myth likely based on a Mycenaean myth based on a Minoan myth that changes Ariadne from an important, possibly the important goddess of an ancient religion and relegates her to a side character in a pantheon so vast that she would be lost within it. 

All of this brings us to today. Today, where as soon as work ended I spent most of the day, as well as the past two days, looking up everything I can on Minoan civilization and added it to my notes. Spite is fueling me to write two possible different stories for two different fandoms where Minoa dunks of Mycenaea and it is giving me life. Expect an update within the next two weeks folks as I lose control of my writing life once more. 

In summary: Ariadne deserves more respect, fuck the public education system for skipping over the good parts of Greek mythology instead of the r*pey as shit parts, the Mycenaeans can eat my shorts, and a world were Minoa became the predominant power instead of Greece would be an amazing world to live in.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. Pink out. 

[lilolilyr]

So, we were playing another elimination game over on the TOG-Femslash-Discord, this time with headcanons to all the TOG Ladies and f/f ships! Here are the Andromaquynh headcanons:

Andy and Quỳnh only had a (wedding/equivalent) ceremony once. - @lilolilyrae

'Just you and me- until the end' was in the Andromaquynh wedding vows. - @lilolilyrae (hc#2 in the game!)

Quỳnh and Andy are poly and dating Celeste. - @lilolilyrae

Andy and Quỳnh came up with constellations. - @andy-the-scythian (hc#6 in the game!)

Andy and Quỳnh have their own language built off their original languages. - @andy-the-scythian (hc#5 in the game!)

Andy and Quỳnh rescue dogs. - @andy-the-scythian

Andy and Quỳnh have competitions during battles, like who dies/is injured the least. - @afreakingbattleaxe

Andy returns to and maintains safe houses for only her and Quỳnh. They also house all of Quynh’s gear. - @andy-the-scythian

Andy has made Quỳnh a bow and gifted it to her. - @afreakingbattleaxe (hc#8 in the game!)

Andy and Quỳnh make each other flower crowns. - @afreakingbattleaxe

Quỳnh and Andy spend some time burning churches once Quỳnh is back with the team. - @cryhardanddanceharder

Quỳnh learns first aid/medicine asap to take care of mortal Andy. - @daniwouldnever 

Eventually Quỳnh loses her immortality too, and when they die, they die together. - @daniwouldnever

They spend the rest of Andy's life peacefully travelling as she shows Quỳnh everything she missed about the world. - @daniwouldnever

Quỳnh gave Andy her necklace as a gift/promise after they lost Lykon - @daniwouldnever

Andy and Quỳnh were love at first sight. - @daniwouldnever 

Andy and Quỳnh are good at all kinds of dancing, but they are the BEST at the tango. They basically set the room on fire with how intense they do it. - @mearchy

Andy carries Quỳnh’s arrowheads centuries after she loses Quỳnh. - @andy-the-scythian

Andy and Quỳnh travel to pride events/parades every year and protect the people there and make sure they get home safe (esp in countries where lgbt people are at high risk) - @mearchy (hc#7 in the game!)

Most of the earliest recorded terms of endearment were andy and Quỳnh addressing each other - @thirst-teenth (hc#10 in the game!)

Crossing deserts is a necessity, seas and oceans too, but Andy and Quỳnh will go out of their way to hike mountains together - @rupzydaisy

Andy and Quỳnh’s relationship was a model for Ruth and later the book of Ruth (bible) - @binariesarebullshit

Andy and Quỳnh over the years have created their own hidden libraries similar to the Library of Alexandria. - @binariesarebullshit 

Andy/Quỳnh had many bonding/wedding ceremonies - @lilolilyr

Andy and Quỳnh got married in Ancient Greece - @bookerandy

Quỳnh learns to cut Andy's short hair. They both love it (it's all about the tenderness and intimacy) - @daniwouldnever

Andy keeps a painting of Quỳnh in her house - @cryhardanddanceharder

Andy and Quỳnh got married in the desert they met in - @andy-the-scythian

Back in the bronze age they shared a chariot as a team with Quỳnh as the archer and Andy driving - @andy-the-scythian

Andy and Quỳnh are soulmates but they're not exclusive and their idea of love and couple are different from the modern understanding - @salzundhonig

Quỳnh loves sitting on Andy's lap. Who needs a chair or a spot on the couch when your wife is right there? - @daniwouldnever

You can find the rest of the headcanons here!

[cheshirelibrary]

This isn’t a post about the merits of The Good Place. It’s about the cold hard numbers: how good of a bookish person are you? Would you go to The Good Place or The Bad Place based purely on your readerly decisions? In The Good Place, everyone’s actions on earth are assigned a point value. Remembered your sister’s birthday: +15.02. Used the term “bro-code”: -8.20. Poisoned a river: -4015.55. Installed solar panels (house, arid environment): +1994.49. You can check out more of the examples of the point system at this Medium article.

Of course, the idea of assigned point values to actions got me thinking: what are the bookish equivalents? How would our reading habits and bookish actions be judged by the impartial The Good Place calculations? A lot of different Rioters gave their suggestions, and here are our best guesses for the point values of being a bookish person. How do you stack up? Pull out your calculator, and check the end of the post to see where you’d end up!

Book Custodianship

Dogeared a page: -0.4

Dropped a book in a puddle: -1.7

Dropped a book in the bath: -3

Dropped a book in the toilet: -4.3

Cracked a book’s spine: -.4

Cracked a borrowed book’s spine: -7.6

Made notes in and/or highlighted a borrowed book: -25

Used a book to squash a spider: -8

Mended a book that would have otherwise been recycled: +12.4

Made art out of a book that would have otherwise been recycled: +9.4

Used a book as a coaster and left a ring on the front cover: -2.2

Preserved important cultural texts for future generations, keeping them in temperature- and humidity-controlled conditions: +229

Libraries

Returned a library book on time: +4

Returned a library book a week late, with holds: -9

“Lost” a library book, but secretly just liked it so much you kept it: -17.6

Returned a library book with Cheeto fingerprints on the pages: -16.3

Stole books from a library (but only to save them from an encroaching war): +5998.3

Burned down the Library of Alexandria: -8766.9

Requested a new release from your local library instead of downloading it: +18.1

Started a Little Free Library: +21

Started a Little Free Library in a book desert, and consistently kept it well-stocked: +279.7

Filled a Little Free Library with phone books, technical manuals, outdated textbooks, and other unreadable materials: -26

Filled a Little Free Library with coveted galleys/ARCs: +10

Became a librarian: +186

Bookstores

Preordered a book: +5

Donated a book: +6

“Donated” an outdated computer manual: -3

Went to an indie bookstore and told the bookseller “but it’s cheaper on Amazon”: -54

Adopted a stray cat as the mascot of your bookstore: +172.7

Found a “reluctant reader” a book they were excited about: +47

Located that book that was on the radio last week and has an orange cover: +7

Handsold diverse books: +80

Tidied up the bookshelves while browsing as a customer: +7.2

“Organized” the bookshelves as a customer, completely destroying the store’s system:-12.1

Education

Taught a child to read: +103.7

Read the same book over and over to a child upon request: +12.4

Started your own literacy charity for disadvantaged kids: +5833

Volunteered with an audiobook-creating nonprofit to make reading more accessible: +148

Wrote an essay on a book when you only read the SparkNotes: -4.7

Hid a cellphone behind your book in silent reading: -7.3

Stocked a classroom with well-loved books: +138

Funded a classroom on DonorsChoose: +241

Assigned a classic so dry that it turned kids away from reading: -129

Bookish Citizenship

Loaned a book to a friend: +12.2

Didn’t say anything when your loaned book came back slightly damaged: +34.6

Read only white authors: -147.3

Defended reading only white authors by saying, “I just read good books”: -212.1

Insulted the entire romance genre to a romance reader: -47.8

Insulted the entire romance genre to a romance writer: -87.8

Said comics aren’t “real books”: -15

Recounted in great detail the entire plot of the book you’re reading to someone who is clearly not interested: -2.3

Purposely spoiled the ending of a book: -31.8

Literary Criticism

Left a one-star review of a book you’ve never read: -27

Claimed to have read the book when you’ve really only watched the movie -2.3

Wrote a scathing review insulting the author of a book just because you don’t like the genre: -87.5

Used your status as a popular author to dehumanize an entire group of people: -1765

Wrote well-loved fan fiction: +46.8

Left an insulting comment on someone’s fan fiction: -27

Tweeted at an author demanding they finish the sequel already: -34.2

Sent an email to an author saying how much you loved their book: +23.3

What Your Points Total Means

4,918.9 to 13,685.8 Points

Wow! You’re a really good person. I mean, you are truly one of the best people who has ever lived. You are definitely getting into The Good Place. You’ll have access to every book that’s ever been written, and endless time to read them. There will be your choice of cozy book nooks, or you can read outside in the sunshine with a gentle breeze (and no bugs). You can build your dream library, complete with sliding ladders! Congratulations. You deserve it.

0.1 to 4,918.8 Points

You’re probably an okay person…Unfortunately, The Good Place is pretty exclusive. Only the best of the best get through. Which means…you’re going to be going to The Bad Place, too. Which likely means a lot of paper cuts and lemon juice. Good luck!

-11,555 to 0 Points

Sorry to be the bringer of bad news, but you are definitely going to The Bad Place. You’ll only be able to read political books you disagree with and instruction manuals. When you do get to read a novel, the last few pages will be ripped out. Every chair will be incredibly uncomfortable. And that’s on top of the regular torture: the bear with two mouths, butthole spiders, bees with teeth, etc. At least you’ll be in company, though: maybe you can bump into Shakespeare while he’s being tortured by having the plot of Entourage described to him!

[theexorcistiii]

The m/egamind mpreg comic me and izzy found has been censored and taken off livejournal this is equivalent to the burning of the library of Alexandria