#this is the dumbest post I've ever made sorry- the 'they never left' thing is just my favorite phrase atm

[bistaxx]

They never left that fanart room...

[sunshinechay]

The way my mind connects the dots with 0 hesitation is hilarious. I could be seeing something like "Omg Michael is SO hot, looks so good with his hair like that, my little meow meow!" and Im like "ya Michael-

Seater?

Cera??

Myers!

from the group chat??!!!???

Really be like that (I barely care about any of those people, my brain will just pick at random), wild to see this post in the wild tho, its been years since I saw fans of (pick your fighter).

Only to find out OP is talking about a totally unrelated Michael from something I've never heard of, but its too late, ive already connected the dots in such a hilarious way, I gotta reblog now. But im collecting the new Michael for another similar situation if this ever comes up again.

I remember in high school we had this classmate named John Oliver and for the life of me, I couldn't understand that my friends were talking about John Oliver the tv host. They'd sit there saying the wildest shit like "Did you hear what insane shit John Oliver did last week?" and for a whole 5 seconds I'd be SO concerned about our mutual classmate only to be told this is about some random dude I don't know or watch (back then) and suddenly the world made a LOT more sense. But for those 5 seconds my mind created real terror and I just had to know what kind of sitcom life my classmate was living every fucking week.

So anyways, if you're always wondering why i keep re-blogging posts about your favs with the dumbest tags, its because I keep re-living Last Week with John Oliver time loop with you😭.

I don't even read your url, im just scrolling fast and every time im like "wait Effy slow down, this made no sense, dont just accept that" I look at the url and you're talking about some whole other guy.

Like I really saw your post and went "ah the creepy pasta girlies from 2012 breached containment and hit my dash again...ya...i'll reblog" and it was literally NOT about that Jeff at all.

I need an option to highlight your username in big and bold so my brain understands that your favs and my brain has 0 overlap and idk any of those people. This keeps happening with just you on my dash and no one else. I remembering struggling with my life, during your vegas era (of vegaspete of kinnporshe). Like this is NOT about Las Vegas at all, but if you asked me what my brain ran off with in those 5 seconds, if left unchecked, you'd understand why I love having you in my dash so much. Scrolling super fast on tumblr with you on my dash is just briefly time traveling to another universe istg.

Plus sometimes I do end up watching what you watch like kinnporshe so thats just a bonus.

Glad I could help! Haha

And don’t worry, my brain frequently does this kind of thing as well. Our brains recognize patterns and make connection only it seems our make connections where there are none, but that’s half the fun. Sometimes I laugh at where my own brain takes me.

I saw your tags on the Jeff posts and laughed because omg can you imagine Jeff the Killer reading his own fanfiction 😂😂😂

However, it’s Jeff Satur we’re talking about and honestly the fact he has read fanfiction about himself is both funny and horrifying like “I’m so sorry you had to witness this Jeff…would like some recs for other fics about you?” 😂😂😂

I’m glad that you have liked the BLs you’ve watched. They’re really just something else, in both good ways and bad and I love them so much. So I’m happy I can spread the joy :)

[zannadu]

This is just a continuation of my last post but with the Dekusquad.

Includes: Izuku Midoriya, Shoto Todoroki, Tenya Iida, Ochaco Uraraka, and Tsuyu Asui

Warnings: fluff, kissing, suggestive stuff, and Todoroki being Todoroki

MHA as Stoners

Continued

Izuku Midoriya

Izuku doesn't usually smoke by himself, he will only do it in a large group of people if they are all doing it.

He is a big cougher

Will take the smallest hits

Not because he doesn't want to

But because that's all he can handle

(God he's so precious)☺️

Eventually, he will get up there, though it takes a while

He is usually shy and VERY awkward around girls that he likes

Especially you

But when he is he turns into a whole new person

He is SUPER confident and will make moves on you till the night's end

He is super grabby

Don't worry he's still a respectful gentleman so if you tell him to knock it off he will (as he should)😌

Likes to brag about how you are all his

He is also super goofy

He will also be super affectionate 💕

———————————

“Izuku if you don't stop right now, ” your sentence was cut off by your outburst of laughter. Your hand tried to muffle the giggles and snorts resigning from your mouth. Izuku continued in his goofy manner of wiggling his eyebrows at you. His face moved from side to side until it was in front of yours. He stopped and just stared at you.

“What are you doing?” you asked, lifting your brow at him. He then raised his eyebrows once more, squinted his eyes, and pulled his lower lip under his teeth. You covered your mouth again in an effort not to laugh. He eyed you up and down and released his lip.

“Damn baby girl, did you sit in sugar, cuz you got a pretty sweet ass, ” he smirked at you waiting for your response. You began to laugh again and put your hand on his chest.

“You're too much Izuku.”

Shoto Todoroki

He really likes dab pens

He has one of his own (can you blame him?)

He doesn't share much as it is or show much emotion and is usually awkward in social encounters

And he still is even when high

He doesn't change much while smoking, except for maybe talking a bit more

He will have actual conversations with you

If you're alone with him he will talk to you about anything

He is a lot softer

Doesn't pick up on social cues until like ten minutes later

He is a lot slower though, in his smarts

Will say the most random shit like

“My dad is a piece if shit”💩

“We know Todoroki” 💁‍♀️

Or he will ask personal things that he shouldn't without realizing

———————————

Shoto hit his one and placed it down in his lap. It rested gently in his hand, as he let out the puff of smoke he stared down at it. A million thoughts crossed his mind in a second. Then out of the blue he remembered something he overheard Kaminari saying to Mineta earlier that he did not understand.

“Wath she hot?” mineta clenched his hands and practically shook while waiting for Kaminari’s answer.

“Dude she was a total MILF!” Kaminari said, almost a little too excited.

What the hell did that mean? And why do I care?

At the time Shoto shrugged his shoulders and forgot about it. But as of now, stoned to the bone, he was curious. And who better to ask than his closest friends.

“Hey guys, ” he looked up at his friends who were all now focusing their attention to him awaiting his question.

“What is a MILF?” he said oh so nonchalantly. The rest of the group all began to start laughing and clutching their stomachs in pain.

“I just heard Kaminari say it earlier and I wanted to know, ” he shrugged again and glanced around the now hysterically laughing teenagers.

“Uh, Todoroki it's not that appropriate to talk about, ” Midoryia scratched the back of his neck, his face entirely red from the situation.

“Oh,” he plainly replied.

Tenya Iida

We all know he isn't one for breaking rules, let alone the law

(though he literally almost committed murder👀)

He doesn't smoke very often but when he does he gets very paranoid😒

He always thinks that he and his friends will get caught

Honestly it's kind of a buzz kill

No one likes someone freaking out the whole time you are trying to chill

Be tries to cover any smells with WAY to much cologne

(it smells good though)

And is always chewing gum so you can't smell it on his breath

Eventually he will relax but only to an extent

He will make sure you're okay every five minutes and offer to get you anything

Like you're sick

But honestly he just cares and he can't help it

He likes to go for walks though🚶‍♂️

———————————

“You guys Mr. Aizawa will smell it!” Iida's hand flew through the air as he addressed the smell now filling the room. Iida frantically picked up the cologne sitting on the desk next to the best and began sporadically spraying it around the room and on everything.

“Iida, calm down it's going to be okay just come sit down, ” Tsu said from her corner, her finger pressed up against her lip, as usual. He turned to look at her.

“But I don't want to disgrace our school and have our homeroom teacher discover that we are smoking drugs in here, ” he sat down unwillingly as everyone choked on the cologne he sprayed and sighed.

“Fine, ” he looked over to you to see how you were doing. You smiled at the boy who was now flushed.

“Hey Tenya, would a walk outside calm you down?” you suggested grabbing his hand and interlaced your fingers with his. He looked down at your now intertwined hands and back up to you the flush beginning to grow deeper.

“I would love too, ” he grinned back.

Ochaco Uraraka

This girl can't afford her own 🌿 so she's gotta mooch off of her friends

Not that they mind

She's a giggly stoner

She really enjoys getting high, in fact she does whenever she can

She also loves to get stoned around you

Because she loves to see you smiling and can't help but laugh at everything you say

You could literally as the dumbest shit and she will laugh💀

She doesn't like other people cuddling you and will tell anyone off if they do

They should know that she likes you

She might make a move on you if she's feeling brave

———————————

“Stop y/n, you're killing me!” Ochaco wrapped her arms around her stomach as she continued to laugh until she almost threw up. Gosh, she's so queasy. All you did was make a joke about how deku always breaks his bones while he's using his quirk. This left her giggling uncontrollably and deku as red as ever.

“I can't help it, man, I'm just too funny, ” you shrugged and watched the girl laugh.

Eventually, when you got tired and wanted to go to bed Ochaco offered to walk you to your room, which you accepted. Once you reached your door you said good night and reached to open it.

“Wait, y/n, there is something I've been meaning to tell you, but I just havent had the courage to say it, ” she grabbed your hand and looked at the ground. She squeezed your fingers ever so slightly and returned her gaze to yours. Her face made her way to yours and she planted a ever so soft kiss on your lips and instantly pulled away.

“I like you, ” she said grabbing your other hand. You stood there in shock, and looked at her. Suddenly, you kissed an unexpecting Ochaco right back. You kicked open your door, lips still attached, and pulled her into your room sealing the exit behind her.

Tsuyu Asui

This girl is hard to read but I know if she likes to smoke, she would like bongs

She likes the bubbling sound it makes

She is very blunt as is and even more so when stoned

However if you can get her to laugh, she will not stop

She is also very funny, and will try her darn hardest to get you to start laughing uncontrollably

This girl is also apart of the alphabet mafia🏳️‍🌈

Try and change my mind😤

Will have the biggest crush on you but won't do anything about it

Will wait for you to tell her

Bottom energy

Definitely loves to shotgun with you

May lead to more things later

———————————

Tsu took a hit off of the long and passed it onto the next person. She turned to you, still holding the smoke in her lungs. You simply nodded at her and slowly leaned in towards her. Her eyes fluttered closed and she parted her mouth every so slightly. Your lips just barely touched hers, sending shock waves through your body and hers. But as much as Tsu wanted to kiss you she couldn't. She then released the smoke out of her mouth, sending it straight into yours. You inhale as much as you could and open your eyes to look at the girl in front of you. The smoke then was exhaled as you both held eye contact, lips still touching.

“Uhhh, ” The moment ended once the other teens began to speak.

You both looked around at the confused teenagers, who were apparently staring at you both the whole time you were doing what you were doing.

“Sorry guys I don't know what happened, ” Tsu tried laughing it off but you knew better, and you continue to stare at her.

She continued to talk to her friends story and change the subject. And in that moment you never wanted to kiss her more than right now.

Let me know if you want more!!❤️ thank you for reading!!

[cherry-ber]

Too drunk to fuck pt. 5

Part 1 | Previous

A.N 1: it really took me all this time to get my shit together and bring you content, I'm sorry about that but let's get back to where we left it.

Mom and dad weren't really impressed by Mark. Although your dad didn't dispice him, he thought he was just a dumb boy playing, and he didn't want you to fall for him, truth be told, you didn't want that either. But on the other hand, your mother said she saw "something special" in him; you knew immediately what she meant. When someone finally looked through his bad boy act, Mark Lee was a caring person, a very creative guy, and an amazing friend, or so you thought.

Despite the warning of your parents about not going out, when Jaemin picked you up you rushed to his car, completely ignoring whatever they were saying, and forgetting your keys and phone charger, but seeing Jaemin smiling when he saw you made you ignore this.

“Hey, there's been a change in our plans, you still in?” he looked almost worried, he was nervous and blushing.

“Well I'm already grounded so I'm in, I guess” he laughed and went to open the door for you.

After driving for some minutes, he finally spoke again.

“So I actually have to go shopping and I figured you could help me to buy, you know the right things”

“Ooh, shopping. Well I guess I can do it, what are we looking for?”

When you arrived to the mall and he parked, he helped you out of the car again and started waking holding your hand.

“Well, you see, it's Jeno's birthday and I totally forgot to plan something cool, so Renjun is busy, Mark is out of town and Jisung and Chenle are still babies and not coming, again” He spoke like he was feeling really guilty about it, you knew already that Jeno was his best friend, and you could only imagine how bad they would both feel.

“So, what are you thinking about? Shall we buy him a cool gift or something simple and maybe order something to eat?”

You barely knew Jeno. You knew he was sweet and everything, but you didn't know anything about him, so it was hard to give Jaemin some advice.

“Well, I've been saving some cash, it was supposed to go to an important cause but this is probably very much worth it”

You walked for hours finding a perfect outfit, he bought Jeno expensive shoes, jeans, a shirt, and even a tie. Then he made you pick a watch, that got engraved a corny quote that Jaemin insisted on getting. You wondered where all that money came from, and when you got back to his car, he explained you, perhaps noticing you were curious.

“I was a dealer at school for some time, okay? I know it's not a good thing to do but it pays well”

He was pissed, but you knew you couldn't blame him, he wanted money and when you're young, there are very little things to can do to get it.

“That's alright, it's your savings after all” you tried to show him you weren't judging him

He stopped at the supermarket.

“Y/N, do you think we're bad people, is that why you hang out with us?”

“No, Jaemin. I think you all are funny, and for the record, I «hang out with you» because you spoke to me first. Do you think I'm dumb, is that why you hang out with me?”

He put in the cart vegetables and meat, he also bought a bottle of wine and cigarettes.

“I don't think you're dumb, I think you are hot”

Maybe he spoke too loud, because the lady at the check out looked at him as if he just said the dumbest thing she ever heard (which he did).

“That's fucking gross”

“I'm kidding, okay, sorry”

He payed and drove to Jeno's place. You still didn't know what was his plan, but you went with the flow.

He called Jeno and told him to get ready for dinner, and that he was bringing him some cake. Jeno, on the speaker, sounded really excited and it made your heart melt when he said he wasn't expecting that. When you arrived, Jaemin honked and parked, getting everything out of the trunk. Jeno came out excited and smiling, he was very happy about his best friend coming over in his birthday, even when he decided to bring basically a stranger and not the rest of his friends.

“Hello Y/N, I wasn't expecting you, I'm so glad you came”

You wished him a happy birthday, and hugged him. He was like a puppy, he hugged you back and thanked both of you for making him some company on his birthday.

“The boys called earlier, I figured no one would come over, I'm surprised you did”

Jaemin swallowed and proceeded to explain that his gift was a fancy date with a fancy outfit with his un-fancy friends. Jeno loved the idea, and as soon as Jaemin gave him the clothes, he ran to his room to get changed. Meanwhile, you and Jaemin cooked with the help of the internet, astonished that he didn't burn down the place.

Dinner was amazing, they shared all of their memories together and you learned why they loved each other so much, you laughed and got to know them better. You didn't notice when your phone died, so when they said it was 10 p.m, you asked Jaemin to give you a ride back home. You said your goodbyes to Jeno and he thanked you for spending your day with him. You thanked him for making you feel welcomed.

The drive back home was full of Jaemin thanking you for your help and for making Jeno happy, since he really thought you were cool and enjoyed your company after you met them. He stopped suddenly some blocks away from your house, and turned to you.

“I know I shouldn't say this, Y/N, but after spending the day with you, I know I definitely like you” you were speechless. You knew Jaemin was a flirt, so you allowed it, but you never thought he meant anything of what he said, Mark. It seemed like no matter what you did or where you were, everything went back to Mark.

Still too shocked to say something back, you gave everything a second thought. Mark was cool, he was attractive and whatever, but he'd never do anything like this with you. Jaemin was funny, and sweet, and apparently not afraid of showing what he felt and expressing his emotions. Jaemin figured that the only way of trying to get a response from you was making a move, and so he did. He held your hand between his, and turned your head so you'd look at him. You felt like you were blushing and he smiled. His left hand went to your cheek, while the right one kept caressing your palm. His lips were getting closer to yours, and just as he was almost kissing you, his phone rang like crazy. You told him to pick it up, so he put it on the speaker.

“Man, are you busy right now? I think I'm in trouble” The voice on the other line sounded so anxious, you almost failed to recognize it. But it was undeniably Mark “I really need your help”.

Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A. N 2: UGH MAN I'M SO SORRY FOR REAL. I'm so sleepy, but I just wanted to post this, I'll add the link to the previous part tomorrow. I haven't slept in DAYS, my sleeping schedule is so fucked tbh. If you read this, thank you very much, and if you waited for the upload, thank you so absolute much, and sorry again. I also finally got the plot for my sort of horror story project I had before getting on hiatus. I hope you're doing well guys, I hope you liked this, too. It's short because I am doubting y'all wanna read this lmao.