#this is such a nice problem to have though all these quality players across our back line

[7yearsofdele]

All the Radu praise is making me feel nice things.

It's just so tough though, because with Micky and Cuti, he won't be a starting CB, unless one of them is injured or as rotation, but he really deserves it.

[theoreticslut]

The Truth that you Deny // Part 1

pairing: fred weasley x reader x george weasley

word count: 2,644

warnings: none, fluff

A/N: apologies that this is a day late! I wasn’t feeling great yesterday, but i’m posting it now so I hope you all like it! also, i don’t have a lot of followers yet, but if you like my wrting and/or just this imagine maybe I could start a taglist?? let me know what you think!

“I don’t know what to do anymore, steph. I don’t understand this at all.” You pout, sighing as you lean back in your chair.

You’d been studying for hours now, which is the last thing you wanted to do on a Saturday, and the only thing you’ve managed to do is waste time and get maybe one or two questions/paragraphs done on a number of assignments. You had yet to actually complete anything.

Stephanie looks at you frowning, more than just a little bit annoyed with you.

“Maybe it’d help if you didn’t drift off thinking about your little crush every five minutes.”

“Who?” You ask, having not been paying attention.

“You’re seriously going to play dumb right now? We both know who you’re constantly thinking about.”

“I honestly don’t.”

“Oh come on, y/n. You so totally have a crush on the twins!”

“I do not. Why would you even think that?” You scoff. You, Stephanie, Katie, Lee, and the twins have been friends since first year and you had never once mentioned having a crush on either of them. Sure you might’ve been quiet and distracted around them sometimes, but you get stressed about school so easily. You spend most of the time worrying about grades and whether you know the material. In fact, while the twins were amazing friends, their pranks often drove you insane.

“Why would I think that? Y/n, have you seen the way you look at them? Do you even realize what you say to them?”

“What do you mean? I don’t say anything different to them than I do you.”

“Uh, yeah. You do. You are way nicer to them then you are me or katie or Lee. Remember when gryffindor won the last quidditch game and you couldn’t tell Fred and George enough how well they did?”

“Well they did. I was just saying the truth. It was a really good game.” You defend, not liking how steph seems to be grilling you for a yes.

“Okay, well then how about when either of them show up you’re suddenly ten times happier then you were beforehand?” She looks at you smugly like she knows she’s correct.

“Afternoon, ladies.” Fred greets as both him and George suddenly appear and sit down at the table you and Steph were studying at.

“Hey guys,” you smile catching the knowing look Steph throws your way. You roll your eyes at her and turn your attention to the twins. She can believe whatever she pleases, but it still doesn’t make it true.

“Are you girls studying?” George asks, a hint of disgust in his tone.

“Trying to. I’m not having much luck.” You sigh, throwing a playful glare at your best friend which doesn’t go unnoticed by any of them.

“Well then how about you put it away and come play a game of quidditch with us?” Fred asks, hope glowing on his face.

You sigh as frown takes hold of your face. If only you had gotten all this done already, or even better, didn’t have it to begin with.

“I’d love too, but I really need to get all of this done. I can’t put it off any longer.”

Both twins join as you pout. You know that they know that you’d absolutely love to play. While you hadn’t made the team (because you never tried out), you loved playing and were even really good at it.

You had surprised the twins over summer break two years ago when you visited the burrow for a week. Obviously since all the Weasley’s love playing quidditch and it’s almost a daily occurrence, it was bound to happen that they’d play a game while you were there. However, they really needed another player so you joined in and gave them all a run for their money (if only you had placed bets beforehand). Since then, the twins love asking you to play because you’re actually a bit of competition to them.

“Not even one game?” George asks, leaning towards you ever so slightly to try to catch your eye.

“Guys, I...no.” You sigh, frustrated that the professors gave you this much homework to begin with.

“Honestly, I’d love to play. You both know that, but I really need to get this done. Maybe tomorrow?” You ask.

“How about you put this up for awhile, come and play a game of quidditch with us, and then you finish this tomorrow?” Fred asks, looking to persuade you.

“You’re too persuasive for your own good, Weasley. As much as I’d love to play, I really ought to get this done or else I’m just going to be worrying about it tomorrow.”

“What if we study with you?” George asks, catching all of your attention.

“You two studying? That’s a really good one, George.” Stephanie replies, saying exactly what you were thinking.

“I’m serious,” he chuckles. “Believe it or not.”

“If we were to study with you later tonight and tomorrow, would you come and play a game with us?” He asks, giving his best impression of a sad puppy dog.

“George, I can’t. I’m already so behind and I want to make sure that I don’t fail. We do have the O.W.L.s this year you kn-“

“Pleeeeeease.” Both the twins beg, cutting you off.

“No, I-“

“Pleeeeeease.”

“It’s just one game, I promise.” George pouts.

You look over at Steph who’s only smirking and shaking her head at you, knowing you can’t say no. You hate that you can tell what’s she’s thinking with just that expression; ‘this is your problem, sweetie. Your the one that likes them.’

You roll your eyes at her again, mentally thanking her for all the help and give in.

“Fine! Fine. I’ll play one game.” you agree.

“Yes!” The twins shout simultaneously, high-fiving across the table.

“But you both better keep your word and study with me or else I won’t play with you again.” you threaten, even though it sounds empty even to you.

“Of course we will, gorgeous. We wouldn’t want our little lion cub upset.” Fred smirked, winking at you and George as you groan at their nickname for you.

Another lovely thing that’s come out of your few visits to the burrow. After another one of your empty threats, George laughed and made the point that even though you try to come off strong and threatening, you often fall short and sound like a child who just doesn’t quite have the bite to back up the bark. And since you’re all in gryffindor together, they made the connection to a lion cub.

Since then, it’s been expanded upon given different circumstances. Like when you were standing up for Ron one time, it changed to mumma lion. Then another time when you were confronting a girl that had been spreading rumors about one of your other friends, the twins joked about how you had become a lioness. So while it’s not your favourite nickname, it isn’t the worst one that you could’ve gotten and it’s only ever used by Fred, George and occasionally their family.

“You better watch it, Freddie.” You warned as you started packing up your books.

~.~

“And that’s another point for Y/n’s team!”

“Bloody hell, y/n. Give us a chance would you.” Fred nearly begs, rubbing his side where you may have just hit a bludger into him.

“You guys begged me to play and you both know that I don’t play nice.” You retort, not feeling any remorse.

You’d deny it if someone pointed it out, but the truth is you are extremely competitive, no matter the situation as long as it interests you. Quidditch? Bloody hell, you’d think your life depended on you winning. Proving to Lee that you could out drink him? You better have a full bottle of replenishing potion because you are going to have one of the worst hangovers of your life. Basically, if you were presented any sort of challenge, you tackled it head-on.

“He’s just upset that he’s losing. You know how he is.” George says, winking at you as his brother grumbles to himself.

“Want to play once more and whoever gets the point wins? I’m getting awfully tired.”

“Sounds good to me.” George nods.

“Yeah, let’s do it.” Fred grumbled as he and George fly back to their positions.

~.~

“Oh bloody hell” you grumble as you wake up and stretch. You don’t often play quidditch, therefore you’re a little out of shape and currently very sore.

That doesn’t even take into account that you stayed up much later than you should have last night trying to get something done.

You groan as you roll over to look at the clock to find it to be 8 AM. You’d certainly love to sleep in a bit more, but if you didn’t get a move on you’d miss breakfast and that’s the last thing you need to do if you were going to be studying with Fred and George today. You loved them, but boy could they get in your nerves sometimes. You didn’t need to be hungry on top of it.

Dragging yourself out of bed, you change into a pair of leggings and an oversized black sweater that tends to hang off one shoulder. You pull on your favourite pair of black heeled boots and move onto brushing your hair and apply the minimal makeup you’re comfortable wearing.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty. You look like your ready to spend the day studying with Fred and George.” Steph teased as you sit down next to her.

“Let me eat first, and hopefully get a cup of coffee. Then you can taunt me all you want.” You say, rubbing at your eyes as you’re not quite awake yet.

“Take my fun away.” She pouts, picking up a bite of pancake with her fork.

“But seriously, how are you feeling about today? You get to spend ALL the quality time with your boys as you like.”

She smiles, staring at you to see your reaction.

“I don’t like them like you’re implying, Stephanie. How many times do I have to tell you?” You huff, taking a sip of your much needed cup of coffee.

“Yeah-huh. You keep telling yourself that. Eventually you’ll believe it.”

“Maybe eventually you’ll get the hint.” You grumble, moodily stabbing a piece of pancake yourself.

“Someone seems to be in a mood this morning.” Fred states as he and George sit down across from you two.

You send a glare over at him as you continue eating your breakfast.

“Definitely. What have we missed already this morning?” George asks, looking from you to Stephanie as he gets himself a cup of coffee.

“Someone is denying that she has feelings for a couple certain people when it’s glaringly obvious.” Stephanie states.

“Ooh, who does our little lion cub have a crush on? Anyone we know?” Fred asks, not missing the opportunity to try and tease you.

“Steph just needs to learn how to take no as an answer. I’ve already told her that I do not, in fact, have feelings for them, but she can’t seem to accept that.”

“Again, who are they?” Fred asks.

“Don’t worry about it because I don’t like them. And even if I did I’m positive neither of them would see me in the same way so it really doesn’t matter whatever way you try to look at it.” You rant, stabbing your fork into some scrambled eggs.

You notice Fred and George share a look that can only be translated to ‘well she isn’t having a good morning. Yikes.’ You huff as you continue eating in silence, feeling all three of them look at you.

~.~

“Y/n, what does this even mean?” Fred asks exasperatedly.

“What does what mean, Freddie?” You sigh, looking up from your own parchment where you are attempting to write a paper for Potions.

“I don’t know. I can’t make sense of any of it anymore.” He pouts.

“Well then I don’t know how to help you.” You say, watching as he pouts in frustration.

“What about you, Georgie? How is everything going?” You ask, looking over to find George staring down at his parchment.

“Uh, decent?” He asks, seeming awfully confused.

“You two are some of the worst study partners around. How have you made it this far, honestly?” You chuckle, leaning back in your chair.

“Our charm and wit.” George jokingly says, winking at you which only causes you to laugh a bit more.

“Why don’t we take a break for awhile? We’ve been working at this for nearly two hours now.” Fred sighs.

You look over at him and give him a small smile. You honestly can’t believe that both of them came along with you and haven’t done much complaining until now. Neither of these boys liked their homework much, in fact it was rare to find them ever working on it.

“You two can if you’d like. I’m nearly done with this paper and if I stop now I’ll forget what I was doing.”

“Then finish the paper and then we’ll all take a break.” He smiles.

I shake my head as I smile back at him and continue working on my potions paper. I just need another paragraph or two to finish it off and then I’m early done with all of my work.

“There, done.” I say as I set my quill down. I lean back to find both of the twins staring at me.

“What?”

“Who were you and Stephanie talking about over breakfast?” Fred asks, a smile on his lips yet he sounds fairly serious, not trying to joke around at all.

“Back to this again?” You sigh, tossing your head back in annoyance. “It doesn’t matter, Freddie. Let it go.”

“C’mon y/n, we’re just curious. Maybe we could help you find out if they like you back.” George offers.

“Yeah, you’re one of our best friends, y/n and you deserve to be with someone that makes you happy.” Freddie says, looking directly at you.

“Besides, you haven’t ever been with anyone at all have you? Like not even just dating?” He adds on.

“No, and I don’t really care to. I’ve got too many other things on my mind.” You say, still ignoring the main question at hand here.

“You have no interest at all? Really?” Fred asks knowing otherwise. You know both of them have heard you talk about guys before with the other girls and you all know that you’ve said not once, but multiple times, that you can’t wait to have a boyfriend to cuddle with and to just love.

“Can’t we just drop it? I really don’t want to talk about it. Steph’s made it into a bigger deal than it needs to be.”

You look at George for some sort of support. You know he and his brother are very much alike, but he’s always been a bit

more considerate when it comes to things people don’t feel like sharing.

“If it’s not a big deal, then why don’t you just tell us? No big deal, no harm in telling right?” George asks, doing the complete opposite of what you were hoping.

“I don’t want to talk about it because if I do I’m afraid...well, I’m afraid it’ll make everything more complicated that what I want to deal with.” You truthfully state.

Both twins watch you as you go silent again, not meeting either of their gazes. If they had known it was this difficult for you to acknowledge, then they wouldn’t have pushed it so much, but here you all were; past that line that pushes your relationship with each other into uncharted territory. You guys don’t share your emotions with each other like this, so now that you have, where do you all go from here?

[savoies]

i don't know you yet - anthony beauvillier.

summary: soulmates. they exist right? y/n and tito live their daily lives doing activities thinking if the right person will ever come.

word count: 2k.

warnings: maybe a few bad words. hopefully angst. 

a/n: i think this might be my first "angst" so please let me know what you think. i am so proud of this work and honestly probably one of my bests. loosely inspired by idk yet by alexander 23. thank you so much to @puckbuddies for all the help, love ya!

taglist + tagging a few folks: @quintnsbyfield @vincecdunn @bigboigritty @ana-maa @puckshitbitch @alxvlasic @stfukie @laurenairay @damn-dunner-29 @kaitieskidmore1 @thelionkingpw @aria253264 @hartsyhart @boesxr @mitch-slap @frostythegoalman @teenagekook @barzysthighs

tagging some lovely folks: @laurenairay @konecny-s @bestestbenn @vinceduhn @folkloreflyers .

(*credit to gif owner.*)

Many people imagine their dream person or think of the person they want to date or marry from a young age. Y/N remembered going to sleepovers and her friends talking about how they wanted a boyfriend with blue eyes and blonde hair or brown hair and brown eyes. But when Y/N's turn came around she always said the same thing "I don't care what they look like as long as they are the right person for me." And that's when the game would end. Because twelve year olds could not fathom that everyone had their person and at some point they'd meet and everything would work out. Her mindset was set as growing up her mom would always tell her the same story. When I met your dad I just knew she'd say.

Tito had dated his fair share of girls. Blonde, brown haired, a red head, and a spontaneous colored haired girl here and there. But none caught his attention. Not that they weren't pretty or anything but Tito was not really one to date and dump. He liked forming connections and really getting to know them. But being a hockey player was not really quite helpful. They'd be invited to a party here and there and of course Mat begged Tito to go with him because he needed a wingman and Tito could not really say no to his best friend.

~~~~

Y/N had believed she had met her special person her second year into college. A tall lanky boy with brown hair. They had both met in the library when they reached for the same book. Might seem cheesy but she took it as a hint. After "considently" bumping into eachother in the library many more times he had asked her out. Most of their dates were pretty basic just like her. Maybe that's why she enjoyed them so much. Two years. Two years is how long she dated him for. But sadly people fall out of love. She had heard about that happening only in movies. Never really thinking that it could happen to her. But then she heard some of the worst words anyone could ever hear. "I don't love you anymore." 

Her heart was sad. Her first real relationship. Who she believed was the one. But she understood. This wasn't her fairytale. But she was broken. Her still being in love. Thoughts invading her mind. What did she do wrong? What could she have done better? So after that it took her time to open up again, to bring those walls down to handsome looking strangers. She wasn't one just to date for fun. So she rarely did bring them down. Sometimes she'd sit in her dark room late at night letting her thoughts consume her. How maybe she'd never find the one, how she was unlovable, how she had way too high of expectations to believe there was someone for everyone. 

~~~~~

Every Monday morning Y/N would go to the same coffee shop and get the same order, a medium coffee with sugar and cream. To her it was a nice way to start the week. She had been doing it since she moved to Brooklyn in 2016. 

Tito had been begging Mat to go with him to this coffee shop in Brooklyn that apparently had great coffee. Tito was what you could call a food and drinks connoisseur. Having cooked many times for his teammates and best friend.

" Come on Mat, Grace and Anders said it the best they've had and they've lived here much longer than us. Plus you owe me for getting you that girls number last week, don't forget to call her." Tito wasn't one to get acquainted with Mat's hookups but he did feel bad when the next morning Mat was kicking them out before sunrise.

Mat finally agreed and here they were on a Monday morning way too early for Mat's liking for a straight black coffee that was "rich in flavor" according to Tito. It was quite busy for it being Monday but they patiently waited in line.

Y/N gathered her stuff and exited the crowded coffee shop, careful not to bump into anyone and headed her way to work.

After waiting for about fifteen minutes they ordered two medium coffees and headed out to the busy New York streets.

She had walked about ten minutes away from the coffee shop before she realized that she forgot her phone. Y/N checked her watch and noticed that if she was gonna make it on time she had only five minutes to retrieve her phone. So she quickly but carefully dogged through people as she made her way back to the coffee shop.

Tito and Mat were casually walking back to the car having parked it a few blocks down when they saw someone running their way. Tito wasn't paying much attention due to savoring his cup of coffee which to him was totally worth the twenty minute drive and six dollars.

"Dude she's hot." Mat turned around and checked out the girl that somewhat seemed like she was running away from something instead of for something. 

"Mat that's gross. You literally didn't even see her face and are labelling her hot just by seeing her ass, I understand why you need a wingman now."

"Hey!" Mat slapped his best friend's shoulder as Tito drank his coffee trying to stifle a laugh (which he failed) since Mathew knew it was true.

~~~

Y/N had heard it many times from her friends, family, and probably even a few strangers. It was time to get a date. She wasn't desperate to really get anywhere. She was a 22 year old living in one of the most populated states in the country. She has time right? Deep down she knew that if she didn't get out there her person would probably not come by themselves. Which brings her to present day staring at her  phone screen at 1am. Earlier in the day Y/N's friend texted her that she knew someone who deemed specific qualities the young romantic wanted. 

~~~

Y/N met Grace in the coffee shop. She had come in a little bit later due to having the day off and sleeping in. Grace and Ruby sat in one of the corners of the small spaced coffee shop and Y/N sat next to them trying to stay in her own space but finding it quite difficult when there was a cute baby trying to get her attention a few feet away. After Grace apologizing for invading her space and Y/N saying it was really no problem they continued to meet in the coffee shop every once in a while. And a friendship blossomed later having exchanged numbers.

Grace was great. She listened to Y/N's tall tales of soulmates and love and she even told her about how she found her love (which she referred to as anders, y/n never having met him before) and how they had a beautiful baby girl together. She knew Y/N wanted someone who was sweet and kind and liked forming deeper connections so when she had an encounter with Tito she knew she should text her.

~~~

It was a late Friday night and the boys were celebrating a win in a rowdy club somewhere in downtown Brooklyn. The single guys trying to get the attention of some girls by buying them drinks. Grace had been standing at the bar with some of the other girls when she saw that Tito sat alone at the booth that occupied their stuff.

"Seems like our stuff doesn't really need a bodyguard, why aren't you out there buying a girl a drink or dancing?" She spoke somewhat loudly due to the pounding music and shouting of people.

"Not really my thing." He smiled softly back at his captain's wife. Tito was not fond of clubs or bars. He felt as though it was way too loud to actually have a proper conversation with someone. That's when it clicked. Of all the times the team had gone out not once had Tito really smiled or joked around with a girl. Grace connected the dots and decided to text Y/N in the morning.

~~~

A simple message was displayed across Y/N's screen. Simply reading "hey i know dates aren't your thing but i know someone who i think you might like."

After sleeping on it for quite a few more hours than she needed to, she decided to bite the bullet and text Grace back. "Why the hell not." 

Not even two minutes later Y/N's phone dinged indicating a response. "Perfect, I'll let him know."

There she sat on her bed over thinking if this was really a good idea.

~~

Tito was way over his head. Grace had texted him that she knew of a girl who was quite exactly Tito's type. At least she loosely stated it that way. He had agreed only on the condition that Mat was having a girl over later tonight and he wanted to be as far away from that as possible since they did have pretty thin walls. So exactly five hours later here he stood outside the infamous coffee shop which held the secret ingredient to the best coffee he had. Grace didn't tell him much other than her hair color which was quite difficult to find in New York since every once in a while a sea of same colored haired girls would come by. He waited outside deeming it more on the gentlemenier side. Whatever that meant. Ten minutes later wrapping his coat on tighter and checking his watch for what seemed to be the five time. Maybe she stood him up. I mean he didn't have too many redeeming qualities. I mean hell he lived in New York and didn't like clubs, parties, and sometimes hated big crowds which were what seemed to be a big part of where he lived. Rocking on the back of his heels he decided to wait a bit longer thinking that hopefully she was just running late.

~~~ 

Indeed she had been running quite late. Her cousin had pleaded her to take care of her baby because she had some errands to run. She didn't mind at all since she did in fact love babies. But when four thirty rolled around and still no sign of her cousin she began to worry. She didn't have this mystery dudes number (which Grace referred to him as Anthony) so she couldn't really text him that she was gonna be a bit late. She really hoped he would wait because all throughout the day her excitement grew more and more. Finally five rolled around and Y/N quickly handed off the baby and changed into something more date worthy rushing out the door in the cold breeze of the afternoon. She rushed to the coffee shop and as she arrived she could see a tall stranger looking down at the ground presumably freezing since it was pretty cold. She dodged a few people hoping that this was indeed her date.

"Hi uhm are you Anthony." She spoke up and she stood awkwardly pulling the sleeves of her sweaters. "Gosh please be Anthony or im just gonna look like an idiot." She whispered.

Tito turned around at a soft voice and was faced with one of the most beautiful girls he had ever seen. Her baby hairs were sticking out and her nose and cheeks were red from the cold, she seemed to be somewhat out of breath.

Y/N looked up and caught sight of some of the most memorizing eyes she had ever seen. This handsome stranger who she presumed  as Anthony had amazing features.

Tito cleared his throat and reached out his hand. "Hi uhm yeah im Anthony but you can call me Tito, or at least that's what my friends call me." He began to ramble.

"Nice to meet you im y/n." They shook hands and a soft electric shock was felt between the two. They both glanced up and she knew it was too soon to tell since she had just met him but she felt an extra special connection with him.

[alexcaldownapier]

Film Genre - Master Shot Reflection

We had our presentation today - I have no idea how it went. I have some nit-picks with our shot which I’ll get into but this was then exaggerated by the slick quality of the other groups’ images. God damn they were professional! And everything looked very deliberate, very well-crafted. My favourites were the sci-fi femme fatale for it’s abstract style and dreamlike yet foreboding tone, the western for how striking it was in its simplicity and the drama/thriller for its storytelling and intrigue. But all were really strong! 

So what was it that was bugging me about our shot? Firstly was a lack of distinct genre signifiers - no cowboy hat for a western or candle for a gothic horror. Props and set design would be an efficient way to show genre but it was shown today that they’re not always needed. The sci-fi shot has no spaceships or weird technology in it, but through its creative image distortion and colouring it gets the point across well. I found it interesting that along with our group’s still, the only other shot that people didn’t immediately link to a specific genre was the other group doing a crime thriller. We both leaned into neon lighting, influenced by contemporary crime films from Nicholas Winding Refn and the Safdie Brothers, and both used red and blue to create depth and create connotations of police sirens. Is this a problem with the genre, that it’s just hard to convey in a still without police/criminal props like badges and guns or drugs and money? I don’t want to let myself off that easy. 

I think we should’ve done more with the costume and set dressing as well as thinking more about the composition. Actually, no, I think I’m being too harsh - Cal used a close-up on a wide lense to create intensity and unease, working well for our thriller aspects and in our original, wider shot, we did have some props and mess on the floor to create a dirtier, druggier atmosphere but with the close-up this was lost.

So, to our shoot. Our first set-up was made up of two led-bulbs in separate rooms with the contrasting red and blue, a spotlight (made from curling cardboard round another bare led bulb) and Jenny being a real team-player out in the hall, shining a torch through the letter box. 

With the lighting we wanted to evoke grimy neon 70s New York - the quintessential crime movie city. This style of lighting also, as mentioned, has become a staple of contemporary crime films. 

The contrasting warm and cold also creates some depth in our image (not enough!).

The composition was nicely balanced and would work well in the film, I feel as it keeps the focus equally on the threat behind the door (police - this is all in our backstory for the shot but not actually visible) as on our character. We had the props and mess on the floor as well to signify a drug den type atmosphere. Tom definitely doesn’t just have a messy flat. I think it would also benefit from more movement and expression in the performance. So yeah that was our first attempt.

However, we had a lil think to ourselves and we felt it was a little flat with the white walls and perpendicular camera placement so we tried again. 

We wanted more emotion and movement in the shot so we changed to a close-up for the hectic intensity and got Ben, our actor, to move about a lot more to make the shot seem less staged. Cal went back to a photo I took during our initial recce as he thought it had more going on with it.

The mirror creates some disorientation and visual interest, however this shot needs two subjects to really balance it out so wouldn’t work for the brief. We did use the mirror though, again for interest and to balance out our image and create depth. I also like how it makes it seem that Ben’s looking in two different directions at once. 

We kept the red and blue lights but minimised the contrast between the two, using a dull tungsten bulb to blend the tones more. This makes it seem a lot more natural and subtle which I think works far better for our story. One thing I love about our final shot is the glint in the eye. I love eye lights, they just butter my bread, man. It adds some intensity and makes it easier to read the facial expression. I also feel like the still has a lot of grit (something noted during our presentation) and there is also a sense of movement within it. Overall, I think it does create the right mood and is dynamic however I do still feel that it doesn’t quite speak to our genre and doesn’t quite grab me as much as some of the other stills displayed.

Once more, our final shot:

And here’s some other shots, some behind the scenes, some early tests:

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Nineteen: The One With the New Way

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 3596

     the very first time a boy asked lily out was way back in high school. close to twenty years ago. he was a sweet kid, a year older than the blonde. he was fairly popular, no quarterback but people knew his name. michael parvish. a dashing man. he had dark sandy blonde curls, bright aquamarine eyes. a smart kid, he was in a few of lily's advanced classes. he had asked her to go to the homecoming with him and grab dinner before hand. lily, being lily, was absolutely terrified of it. but gen had managed to convince the blonde to say yes, so she did. she knew a lot of girls had a crush on the boy, and lily wouldn't deny she did to. he was beautiful, and she prayed the inside reflected what the outside had.  

       they dated for four months, before michael moved away to iowa for his fathers job.

       the second time was when she was in grade eleven. a senior had taken a keen interest in the girl, and made a move. he was a baseball player, and also very attractive. dark chocolate skin that would shine in the light. amber eyes that made lily feel weak in the knees most of the time. he was sweet, a bit shy, but quite charming. they dated until lily graduated and moved to new york city. he had moved out to california for baseball, and she had no desire to move to that state or go to school there. so they parted ways after two years.

       the saying goes that third times the charm. well, that wasn't exactly lily's fate. the third time she was swept off her feet was in her days as university student.  a tall, built, gorgeous student with a smile that made lily feel like there was no one else around her. he was two years older than her and an engineering student. girls would fall at his feet, yet he would always end up back at lily's door after a party. they wouldn't do anything, merely sit and talk. it was sweet and euphoric. the two seemed to get on perfectly.

       his name was scott harvey. and he was not the prince charming she believed he would be.

       she had been romanced and asked out a few times after the divorce from scott. but she always said a simple "no thank you, I'm not dating right now." she would refuse any sort of affection or charm from any sort of man. one of gen's staff, elijah, had come the closest. he was kind and good with hunter, but lily didn't really feel anything. so all together, lily had only really experienced a relationship three times, each for a substantial period of time. but she supposed a part of her knew each of them wouldn't be the one. scott was the only one she was slightly convinced would be her last. lord, was she wrong.

        but now? lily had an opportunity sitting in her lap. or should she say, leaning over her. an opportunity with a scruffy beard and steel blue eyes. dark hair dancing in front of those said eyes, and a cold metal arm attached to him. and danger. threat came with her opportunity. she was willing to take that risk, knowing he would never let anything happen. but her heart hesitated slightly at the thought. she knew she had told him any girl would be lucky to have someone like him, and here she was, that said girl.

       "doll?" he whispered, "you look like you've seen a ghost..."

       "hm? oh," lily smiled weakly, "sorry. just caught me by surprise a bit." she hummed, tucking a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

       "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." bucky mumbled, going to push off the wall and stand at full height.

        but her hands caught his waist. she tugged him forward, gripping the toned midsection tightly as she pressed a soft and careful kiss to his slightly chapped lips. the tickle of his scruff sent butterflies down through the girls stomach, but she knew her answer. she knew it before he even really asked. the hesitation far from her head as she looked back up at him, lips separating with a faint noise. gentle breaths fanning the others face as bucky scanned her features, attempting to sleuth out her answer.

         "yes, bucky," she whispered, playing with her bottom of his navy blue henley, "I will be your girlfriend." the blonde concluded, giggling at the bright grin that spread across his lips.

         a bit of a weight seemed to release itself from the bulk of lily's shoulders as the words left her lips. the clear elation in the mans eyes helping warm her heart, and create a sense of ease with her decision. he was the right one for her, she knew it. the way he would hold her and the way he would kiss her. how his hands found their way through her hair easily, and managed to make her feel whole again after years of being shattered and broken. how he seemed to adopt hunter right away in a way a father would a son. god...the way he acted with hunter. so soft and gentle, so loving, accepting. everything.

        "come on then, let's go wait out this little party and then head to your place. just the three of us,  hm?" he cooed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

        "oh didn't I tell you...they're all coming back for dinner!"

        "...dear god."

-----

       honestly she wasn't sure why she had actually added that there would be a dinner when everyone came back to her home after the tour. she didn't necessarily like any of the parents that would be coming back. the only reason she could think of was the fact that hunter adored the kids, as did lily. plus, a selfish part of her wanted to show all of them that she can be a successful doctor and be able to afford a comfortable life for her and her son without the help of a spouse or anything like that. lily knew it wasn't right of her to think like that, but she felt the urge to sort of...well, rub it in their faces that she had done well. despite the amount of obstacles that had been placed as roadblocks for her to swerve around.

      "so what's on the menu, lily." jill hummed as she found herself perched on one of the barstools at the kitchen island of lily's home. that same condescending smile still as evident as ever on her face.

      "pancakes." the blonde countered, pulling out the ingredients, "it was all in the invitation." she continued, smiling tightly at the woman, "buck could you go downstairs and check on the kids for me?"

      "sure, doll." the man behind her cooed and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek before wandering off from the kitchen. she caught him toss a look over his shoulder, as though he wanted to double check she did want him to actually leave her with the group of petty, uptight, parents that she so despised.

       lily was still lily. she was still shy and quiet and non-confrontational. now becoming the official girlfriend of bucky barnes wasn't going to change her personality. she didn't enjoy being alone with these people, but she still  needed to be able to stand on her own two feet. still be able to handle situations herself if things went south. she prayed they didn't, and she knows if they did she would have put herself in that position. she would have caused the problem for herself. and though she knew this, she had still sent him. lily figured it was better late than nevre to learn how to handle her own messes if they arose.

       "nice place you have here." thomas commented, sipping on a water, "I don't think any of us have actually ever been in your house before. other than our kids of course. I suppose we weren't all expecting it."

       lily felt herself grin slightly as she mixed the ingredients together, blowing a piece of stray blonde hair from her face as her arm worked. she knew they were expecting something smaller, messier even. but lily was proud of where she had ended up. if there was anything in the world that lily actually found confidence in, it would be the life she had built for herself and her son. even when she was married to scott, it was mostly just her and hunter. lily wore herself thin but she wanted hunter to grow up in a happy place, or as happy as she could make it. she couldn't make up for the absentee father or the lack of quality time he had with his dad. but she tried her best to substitute that with as much love from her as she could. all while managing and juggling schooling, chasing her dreams, and ensuring that there was always a stock fridge and cupboard. and now, she found herself in their dream home with a dream dog, and a newly found relationship that created a warm and domestic environment for everyone.

       "thank you thomas," lily smiled, placing her hands on her baby blue polka-dot clad and navy blue cardigan clad waist, tilting her head, "got a great deal for it.  and then hunt and I made it our own." she explained, glancing over at rose who leaned on the wall with a raised eyebrow at the kindness of the group.

       "but have you ever considered finding someone? like for real," jill piped up, "not this little daydream fantasy you have with bucky barnes of all people." she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

       lily froze as she poured the batter into the cast iron griddle she had. she felt the air in the room disappear as she finished pouring the batter. glancing up, she tucked one of the loose blonde strands of her hair behind her ear and tilted her head at the woman in front of her. of course jill would be the one who would try to continue to poke at lily in her own home. there were so many things that she wanted to say. so many insults and retorts. but her words got caught in her throat. her chest tightened and stomach twisted. sweat glands opened and the saliva in her mouth ceased to exist. her eyes blurred and a warm feeling gathered at the waterline. the room around her slowly began to bend inward and she had to take a step backwards. she dropped her spoon and cleared her throat, attempting to compose herself.

     "why don't you go see if the kids are okay, bucky's been down for a few minutes." rose stepped in, placing her hand on her sisters shoulder, grounding her.

      stepping away without a word, lily tugged at the knit sleeve of her cardigan. attempting to let air inside of what felt like restraints. tugging at the small buttons as she walked down the stairs, lily tried to steady her breath. ripping the material off of her body, she threw open the basement door and proceeded to jog down the rest of the stairs towards where she heard laughing voices and one deep gruff one telling a story.  the sounds of his and her sons voices melting together had her heart slow, and her breathing regulate. she gripped onto the wall and let out a gentle sigh. the rough feeling of the drywall reminded her where she was as the feeling of bile subsided from her throat.

       "lily?" bucky's voice cooed as he walked over to her, hand finding it's way to her waist to rub gentle circles onto her hip, "you okay?"

       "yeah, yeah I'm okay. rose just took over the cooking. just needed a minute," she whispered, leaning her head back against the corner of the wall, "how're the kids?"

       "they're good, doll," he hummed, running a flesh finger down her face, "they were jus' asking about the final battle a few years ago..." he trailed off, eyes falling down to his feet. lily smiled softly and placed her hand on the scruffy side of his cheek, "I dodged the question, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it just yet with hunter...the things I did lily I-"

         reaching upward, lily placed a soft kiss to the mans slightly chapped lips, "it's okay love, it's okay." she whispered, "let's head back upstairs if you're ready, to make sure rose doesn't end up cooking jill instead."

         sliding his metal arm into the girls hand, the two made their way back up the stairs, only to have a small and gentle tug at the bottom of lily's skirt catch her attention. both glancing back, she saw a familiar head of blonde smiling up at the two softly and they turned around to look down at the young boy.

        "is it okay with you guys if luke and finn stay the night?" he whispered, smiling up at the two of them shyly.

        lily's heart grew so large she believed it would completely burst from her chest. he didn't just ask her. no, he asked both of them. he asked her and bucky if they were okay if his friends stayed the night. the tears found their way to her waterline once more as she looked up at bucky, who had the same awestruck look on his face. something inside of him seemed to click as he looked down at the young boy in front of the two. hunter had asked bucky and lily. the two of them. as a pair. she smiled softly and bit on her knuckle, before turning back to bucky again.

        "what do you say bucky," lily grinned, "you okay if hunter has some friends stay the night?"

        "sure buddy, why not."

-----

       a few hours later, when most of the kids had cleared out and the parents alongside them, lily finally let out a relieved breath. bucky, rose, and her were clearing the paper plates and wiping up the messes from the syrup and cleaning the wrapping paper. hunter, luke, and finn were bustling upstairs in the young boys room, no doubt playing with all of his collectable items. lily stood herself up straight and smiled softly, looking around at the slightly messy living room. chuckling gently, she shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose.

        "they're twelve, why do their parents need to come?" lily laughed, picking up a wine glass jill had used, "I understand the tour part but for dinner? god, some parents." she sighed, walking to the kitchen and putting it in the dishwasher.

        "I think most of them just wanted to hear if the rumours were true," rose commented, collecting the last piece of wrapping paper, "if you were dating the one and only winter soldier." she teased, bumping her shoulder against the broad man.

        "as embarrassing as that is," bucky jousted back, "I'm with rose on this one, doll." he agreed, tying the black garbage bag.

        "about time you learned that I am always right, barnes." rose chuckled, stretching her arms back, "alright I'm heading upstairs. keep it down tonight, I have an early meeting tomorrow."

        the moment rose's door shut as she walked up the stairs, bucky's arms found themselves wrapped around lily's waist. his lips pressed to the corner of her jaw, eliciting a giggle to escape from the same place. shaking her head, lily shimmied from his grip to finish cleaning up the counter. only to find herself reattached to his chest. leaning her head back onto his shoulder, lily cocked an eyebrow up at him, wondering what he was getting at.

        "do you remember our first kiss?" he whispered, "we were right here. the night of the party. you had made us coffee. we were looking at the picture of you right after giving birth." he cooed, hand splaying across her stomach, "that's the most beautiful picture of you I have ever seen." he continued, fingers drawing small circles on her lower stomach.

        lily remembered that night so vividly. both because of the events that had lead up to it, but also because of the way he kissed her. so gentle and soft, how it lingered after. the pressure becoming a familiar pleasure to her in the weeks to ensue. it was a night to remember, that was for sure. in more way than one. the morning after may have become her favourite memory to revisit somedays. seeing bucky pouring cereal at the table for a sleepy hunter. engrossed in their own conversations before lily had come down. she wished she could have frozen that moment and lived in it forever. but she knew better now, because those events were all the product of her parents own misfortunes and her son being in a spot of danger.

         "alexa, play songs from the fourties." his voice cooed, eliciting an agreement from the machine. soft swing music played through the kitchen and lily shook her head.

        "were you this much of a charmer back then as well,  james?" she teased, spinning around in his arms and placing her own around his neck.

        "much more of a player," he admitted, swaying gently to the music, "steve says I was a real lady killer. I think I was just trying to find the perfect fit." bucky whispered, leaning his forehead down onto lily's, "I had short hair back then too."

        "oh I know. we learned about you in our history books," she chuckled, gazing into his deep eyes, "you were a real heart throb for a while in my class."

        "yeah? what'd you think of the short hair, doll?" he purred, ghosting his lips against hers.

       reaching her hand upwards, and tangling her supple fingers in the strands of dark hair, she smiled, "I like it long. but I did have a massive crush on you with short hair." she admitted, swaying her hips along with the music.

        "well lucky for you," he chuckled, "I have a haircut tomorrow. now I know what I'm going to do with it." bucky winked, sliding his arms away from her waist, "I'll see you upstairs, doll."

        lily stood breathless as she watched bucky turn and walk up the stairs, sending her a quick wink before disappearing around the corner into her bedroom. her chest heaved up and down as the music continued to play faintly in the background. mostly all she could hear was the pounding of her own heart playing a melody in her ears. blood pumping like madness as she tried to digest the idea of her being able to see him with short hair in real life. it excited her. but what mostly left her gasping for air, was the way his hand ran along her lower stomach. rubbing gentle circles as they talked about her pregnancy and the possibility of a family.

        he wanted a family. with her.

       stopping the music, lily collected her thoughts. okay, yeah so she was now in a relationship with him. a serious, adult, relationship. something she had hid herself away from for years. yet she couldn't escape him. and the idea of kids...well lily's heart skipped a beat. she'd love to have more, but she was slightly scared with hunter. it had always been the two of them, and she was worried if even bucky was pushing it. but then she remembered the moment from earlier, when he had asked both of them for permission. bucky was slowly but surely taking that father like role that hunter had been missing. that kindness and similarities that lily couldn't necessarily make up for.

       letting out a breath, she walked up the stairs and beckoned joey to follow. just as she went to open her bedroom door, she heard faint voices seeping through hunters door. biting her lip, she tip toed towards the white wooden entrance and leaned her ear up against it softly.

       "mr. barnes is so cool." luke's voice rang as she listened in. a smile creeping onto her lips.

       "yeah!" finn's voice chimed in, "is he like your step-dad or something?"

       lily's breath caught in her throat. this could go two very different ways. and she was terrified it would go the way that would result in the end of whatever her and bucky had. if hunter didn't like bucky, or didn't think of him in that way, lily would have read the entire situation wrong. meaning she would have to completely rethink her choices.

      "not really. he's like a father figure though," hunter responded, "more than my dad was. plus he also makes my mom happy. we get along well and yeah...I guess I sort of see him like a step dad now that I say it out loud," he continued. and lily felt her entire world become complete at his words. "dude did you just crap yourself?"

       dropping her head, lily let out a gentle laugh before turning and walking back towards her own room. opening the door, she saw bucky laying under the covers with the tv on, watching some documentary about who knows what. changing into her pyjama shorts and a loose shirt, lily washed her face and let her hair down before climbing under the soft covers and turning towards bucky. a surge of confidence rang through her. when he caught her eyes though...

        well she just couldn't help herself.

       she just prayed she stayed quiet enough for rose not to razz her about it.

[adenei]

Hermione bumps into Krum at a Quidditch store while she is trying to get a jersey of the CC for a certain red-head, and Ron walks in the store

Hi anon, thanks for the ask! Here you go!

******************************

The snow was falling lightly on the cobblestone streets of Diagon Alley. Hermione had apparated there to pick up Ron’s Christmas gift. She’d just returned home for the Christmas holidays from Hogwarts, and needed to get her shopping done with only a few days to spare.

She had one more stop to make, her hands full of packages already. She’d owled ahead to Quality Quidditch Supplies for a Chudley Cannons Keeper jersey for Ron. Now that they were together, she wanted to splurge a bit, getting him something she knew he would love. It was something she’d wanted to get for a while, but quidditch team jerseys were on the more expensive side of things, and she never wanted it to come across as too forward.

Hermione entered the shop and made her way to the counter. She told the shopkeeper that she was there to pick up an owl-ahead order for Granger. While she waited, she noticed that the shop was quite busy, with a line towards the back. 

The shopkeeper came back with the jersey and placed it in a bag for her. “That’ll be 31 galleons, 3 sickles and 5 knuts.” Hermione pulled out the appropriate change. She exchanged the money for her package.

“What’s going on in the back of the shop today?” She asked curiously.

“You don’t know? Viktor Krum has been here all morning signing autographs. He’s finishing up now.”

“Viktor’s here? I haven’t heard from him in so long,” Hermione said to herself.

“You know him personally?” The shopkeeper eyed her. She was used to that by now. No one expected someone like her to be friends with a famous quidditch player. “He must be done, he’s making his way over now.”

Hermione turned to look as he nodded his head in that direction. “Herm-in-inny?” she heard Viktor say.

“Viktor! What a surprise!” Hermione made her way over to him, and gave him a friendly hug. “How are you?”

“I am doing vell, and you? I vuz glad to hear you were alright after the outcome of the var.”

“Yes, I’m actually on holiday now. I decided to return to Hogwarts for my last year. I didn’t attend last September.” She said awkwardly.

“So I’ve read. I do keep up on the news. Vut brings you here?”

“Just some Christmas shopping. How long are you in London for?” Hermione asked.

“Only for the day. Do you happen to have other plans? Vould you like to get some lunch with me? I am starved.”

“I can only imagine how exhausting signing autographs must be,” Hermione said as she laughed. Hermione thought catching up over lunch would be nice, but was worried that someone might see and print some ridiculous story about them. The last thing she needed was some tabloid printing fake news and Ron seeing and believing it.

“So? Vut do you say?” he pressed.

“Um, well-” She was about to explain her trepidation when she heard a familiar voice.

“Hermione? What are you doing here?” Ron had entered the store and walked up behind her. She looked down quickly at her bags to make sure he couldn’t see anything, and turned to let him join their conversation.

“Ron! I could ask you the same question! I was just picking up some last minute gifts and ran into Viktor.”

Ron looked up at Viktor and curtly nodded at him. It was definitely more civil than he’d been in years past.

“Who are you shopping for here?” Ron had the tiniest of smirks on his face, clearly trying to get a hint of what his gift could be out of her.

“Ginny,” she lied quickly. 

Viktor cut in then. “I ‘ave invited Hermione to lunch with me. I am only in town today, and vould like to catch up. She has not given an answer yet, but you are more than velcome to join us.”

Ron was surprised at Viktor’s invitation, and contemplated them both for a moment before responding. Hermione held her breath, not knowing how he was going to react. “Sure, if Hermione wants to do that, I’d be happy to join. I didn’t know shopping could work up this much of an appetite,” Ron chuckled.

Hermione exhaled and relaxed. It wasn’t that Ron had anything to worry about, but she worried that his insecurities might creep up and get the best of him. “That would be great, Viktor. Thank you for inviting us,” she looked at him thankfully. 

“I just have to grab a couple things if you don’t mind,” Ron said. They both nodded as Ron went to a different area of the store. 

Hermione and Viktor went to wait outside the shop. “You both seem happy,” Viktor observed.

Hermione smiled. “We are.”

“That’s good. It is about time, though I am disappointed it could not have been me. He is very lucky.” It seemed Viktor had finally accepted what he’d known for a while. Hermione’s heart had always belonged to her red headed best friend.

“I’m lucky, too. Thank you for inviting him along with us,” she said.

“It vos not a problem.”

Ron came out of the store then. “Thanks for waiting!” he said cheerfully and then looked at Krum. “The shopkeeper was wondering if you’d left. Said something about squaring up? I told him I’d send you back in.”

“Oh! I got distracted when I saw Herm-in-inny. Thank you. I vill be right back.” Viktor hurried inside.

Hermione turned to Ron. “I hope you haven’t been following me around all morning.”

“Nope, we both had the same idea about getting some shopping done. I was helping George out at the store, and then needed to pick a few things up for Ginny, too. We’d better compare gifts so she doesn’t get the same thing from each of us.”

“I’m sure we’re fine,” Hermione said. “Did you know Viktor was signing autographs today?”

“Not a clue. Was nice of him to invite me along with you both,” Ron shuffled his feet.

“It was. I hadn’t actually committed before you got there. I didn’t want the Prophet to skew things, you know? I’ve been lucky to go in and out of stores so far today without being noticed.”

“Ah yes, I can see the headline now. ‘Trouble with the Trio? Granger dumps Weasley for old flame Krum.’” 

Hermione laughed, “You have nothing to worry about. You know that, right?” She leaned into his arms.

“Yeah, I trust you. I figure I’ve accused you of enough with Krum for one lifetime.”

“I appreciate that, since you know I’ll expect him to be invited to our wedding,” Hermione smiled as she leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

“As long as he’s a guest and I’m standing by your side, I think I can live with that,” he said beaming.

[stabletwooriginals]

CHAPTER THREE: Guidance

LittlePip wakes up to a brand new day. Which she never experienced before and we get some fun observations from her about.

I knew this was coming but I’m so relieved LittlePip finds one of Rarities dresses in perfect condition inside a locked chest.

The comment, that the dress is the prettiest and most cheerful thing she has seen since leaving is striking to me. She has had one terrible string of bad luck so far, but there are amazing things still waiting to be found.

Which is undercut somewhat by her discovery of the dead cats hung over where she slept. Absolutely terrifying. That doesn’t seem just for shock value, as it preoccupies our (and LittlePips) mind as she accidentally activates a land mine. Oops.

Watcher making his first appearing here, giving LittlePip life saving advice.

Raiders attack again. And we get LittlePips naive interpretation of grenades through a childhood memory of someone bullying her. This explains to us why she focuses on throwing the granade back next… killing her first pony.

We don’t get a lot of rumination on that yet though, as we get a scene break and LittlePip has managed to sneak out of Ponyville. What are these segmenting parts called, actually? Is it “Dinkus”? That’s a fantastic name.

The retelling of escaping Ponyville sounds like a stealth sequence in any video game, which I find amusing.

After a brief first encounter with a Bloatsprite - the mutated version of the Parasprites from the show - we reunite with Watcher and LittlePip get’s to have her first friendly conversation so far. (You might wanna count Velvet at the very beginning, but that’s up to you.)

“A friend.” I raised an eyebrow. “Okay, a passing acquaintance. But one that doesn’t mean any harm.”

This back-paddling is interesting. Why isn’t the “Friend or Foe” distinction enough here? My interpretation is that FoE takes friendship quite seriously. Since it is adopting “My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic”, in which friendship is the key to change the course of history, just the word “friend” has a lot of worth and meaning that can’t just be thrown around lightly. We don’t know it yet but the core mechanics of MLP, namely friendship and the Elements of Harmony, are still intact in this story.

Finding my apple, I levitated it up. “Thank you. And thank you for the warning about that… thing in the ground.” “Mine.” I blinked. “Y-you want my apple?”

I just want this on here.

We get some info on the Bloatsprite - mainly it’s name and that it is the result of something called Taint. Which, uh– and Watcher’s name. He is not a Spritebot himself, but located somewhere else and just hacks into them to interact with remote places of the world.

Finally he gives vital advice any newbie RPG player can use: Find better gear, learn about the world and make some friends! What? Yes, there it is again. Friendship.

For guidance LittlePip returns to Ponyville. Watcher told her a copy of the Wasteland Survival Guide should still be at the Ponyville Library. Twilight’s home! (Remember, we’re sticking strictly to the first season.)

I was convinced The Wasteland Survival Guide was a reference to an older piece of post-apocalyptic fiction, but nope, it seems to come from the famous quest line in Fallout 3. At least, that is what dominates the search results when I try to google it.

Quite some time is also spend on the horrific decoration, namely desecrated ponies. Mutilated and in pieces, stuck to the walls and hung from the ceiling. These displays of gore are reminiscent of how Super Mutants tend to gather in places with such bloody decorations in Fallout 3. That game reduced the Mutants personality from a faction, as they were in the previous titles, to little more than orcs. Which is a shame, as they mostly exist as canon fodder now. And help us get over killing them, it shows us with lootable sacks of gore that they deserve it.

The raiders here get painted in the same light and fulfill a similar role. As clear bad guys and somewhat as cannon fodder. Their psychology never gets explored much beyond “the Wasteland drove them mad”. They often even have ridiculous cutie marks, implying they have been born into being raiders and that being cruel is their special talent. Which, besides painting the saddest existence, is a shame, since they clearly form groups among themselves, can talk just fine and are/were, by all accounts, just ponies like anyone else. Except, they’re not. They have gone insane, mind you. They live in their own shit and sleep under fresh, dripping intestines. Because they’ve gone mad, you see!

My point with all that is, that the excessive gore in this scene takes away from my immersion, as it raises questions with no answers, and raiders holding slaves and killing ponies (without putting their corpses on display), again, would be fine enough to convince me of their evilness.

Watcher was playing LittlePip a little, as he knew it was also where a couple slaves are kept in cages. One of them is implied to have been sexually assaulted, which - while still despicable - at least makes more sense for raiders to do than the gore fest described earlier.

LittlePip glancing over the bottle caps the first freed slave offers her without a second thought is a fun touch.

Then a fight breaks loose!

I hadn’t just killed a pony–these raiders had given up any right to the title! These were not ponies, they were sick monsters that needed to be put down!

Which implies choice. Something I can’t imagine, choosing to be a raider like this, but fine. I’m sure plenty of FoE side stories go more into detail with raiders, FoE itself seems mostly comfortable portraying them as orcs most of the time. Until it doesn’t. But we will cross that bridge when we get there.

I didn’t realize until that moment, but I was mad! The pure evil of this place had shaken me to the core… and my core was furious!

Regardless of my feelings towards the raiders, Littlepip’s reaction to them has always been inspirational to me. I know, it leads to… problems later on. But joining in with unbridled rage of LittlePip is cathartic in ways I haven’t yet seen replicated somewhere else.

(what do you know, they do shoot with their tongues!)

Figuring out how horses shoot firearms is… it’s own entire discourse I am not very interested in. But it’s fun to see what ideas FoE brought to the table. And it’s even more fun to see high quality concept art of tongue-triggered pistols for the Fallout: Equestria fan game Ashes of Equestria.

The fight is fun, with brisk and clear descriptions and punctuation of humor (“Shouldn't you ponies be smarter than this? You live in a library!”).

LittlePip gets shot but finds the Fluttershy branded medical box. Love that decision. Also our introduction to healing potions – they work like Stimpaks from Fallout, but are actually more believable because magic actually exists!

I was even more pathetic with melee weapons than I was with guns.

Love that RPG progression being set up here.

It was a zombiepony!

Don’t be mean to ghoul Ditzy Doo. Don’t ever be mean to ghoul Ditzy Doo.

I can’t really place the note about why someone might need binoculars in a library. I assume it’s a MLP reference but I’m lost on that one.

After another short lived meeting with mines the fight is over and LittlePip decides to loot the bodies for armor. The bloody, tattered armor. To be fair, it is the best armor she has come across so far and we do stuff like this in RPGs all the time.

She finds bottle caps again and chooses to ignore them this time. Great tease. Love it.

She finds and identifies radigator meat. I’m not sure she should know their name at this point, but whatever. The narrative framing allows it.

Lastly, she confronts the sniper that has been on the balcony of the library the entire time. Here we get a better glimpse at AngeryPip, surprising herself with her audible confidence and malice. It feels like a different character, but since this is portrayed as a extreme situation this seems more adrenaline fueled to me, rather than pathological.

Leaving the library, LittlePip has a combat shotgun, an assault rifle, a revolver (which gets lost in the next scene), a knife and now a sniper rifle. Impressive for this early in the story.

An alert flashed on my PipBuck. Checking it, I discovered that it had labeled the gazebo in front of me: The Macintosh War Memorial.

First, harrowing. Love it. Secondly, I love the inclusion of the gazebo, which has to be the one we can see in the show. It’s cool to see how many elements of the show actually made it in here. Pretty unobtrusively too.

The Memorial specifically names Big Macintosh and his sacrifice. It’s obviously unclear how much of the story was prepared in advance, but the way the war started 200 years ago must have been among that. We get to learn later what Big Mac’s role in the war was.

And we end with LittlePip picking up “The Wasteland Survival Guide. By Ditzy Doo…”

Level Up! New Perk: Bookworm. Kinda nice how we went to the library this time, got a book out of it, the quote at the beginning was “Books! I’ve read several on the subject.”… So, this one feels more than earned.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

MerMay Day Thirty-One We End as We Began

The dock is old, the wood rotten, so the woman sits on the shoreline where the land drops off into the sea, her feet dangling in the water. The beach is empty this time of night, with the full moon high above, so there is no one to see her, or the gathering taking place in the water. Even twelve years later, this rocky part of the beach, supposedly closed to the public, is still not well-patrolled.

“Mom! Mom! Look at this!” Sereia ducks underwater and pokes her tail into the air, spinning around and sending drops of water flying everywhere. Eventually she toppled over, surfacing and spitting out water.

“Woohoo! Great job!” The woman applauded. “You’re really getting better!” She looked around the water, seeing if any of the others gathered had noticed her daughter’s stunt. Most of the merms weren’t watching, gathered around and talking in their strange chirping language. Muirin was watching, of course, and clapping to show his sister support. And so was a familiar figure with a clownfish tail.

One of the merms popped up from the water near her legs, startling her. But he smiled, baring shark’s teeth, and started chattering. “Oh...hello,” she said, smiling.

“Heh-lllloh,” the merm repeated, tripping over the word. He bounced in the water, excited. “Hhoh—hhhow errr ooo? Yuh. Yuh-ooo?”

“I’m doing good,” she said, giggling when the merm’s expression lit up. “Sorry, which one are you? You’re a lemon shark...is it Jackie?”

“Ahkee.” Jackie pointed at himself, then around at the various other merms in the water. “Neep. Mereen. Aimisehn. Ai Kase. Kase!” Jackie waved at the clownfish merm, who was resting half out of the water on the dock. He said something in the other language, chattering and clicking rapidly. The other one swam on over.

“Hi Chase,” the woman said, waving.

Chase sank deeper in the water, cheeks turning red enough to be seen clearly even in the moonlight. “Hi Stacy,” he said quietly. Jackie smiled, and disappeared below water. Chase started, and called after him in the clicking merm language.

“Hey, Chase?” Stacy asked. “Do you...want to talk?”

“Um…” Chase sank lower still, so only his head was poking out. “About...what?”

“Well, you know, things.” Stacy shrugged. “Like why you can speak English perfectly but your friends have trouble with it.”

“Oh. Well.” Chase pulled himself out of the water, folding his arms and resting on the shore. “That’s some magic bullshit, I think. Marvin’s spell to temporarily turn me human, like imbued with the knowledge I needed to be human.”

“But it didn’t include pop culture, did it?” Stacy asked, a smile tugging at her lips.

Chase grinned as well. “No, it didn’t. But like, it skipped all the learning process for new languages. I think Schneep actually knows how to speak a bit of a human language, but not English.”

“I see.” Stacy reached over and picked up the small flashlight she’d brought. She flicked it on and cast the circle of light over the waves. It landed on a pair of merms circling one of the dock supports, holding round stones. The one with the silver tail pulled on a mask, turned the stone over in his hands, and suddenly the stone and the bits of glass in the mask lit up, glowing green. Water spouted into the air. The other mimicked the gesture, and a smaller spout flew into the air. The two of them seemed to giggle, then looked over in the direction the light was coming from. They grinned in unison, and two jets of water spurted over to where Stacy was sitting. She shrieked as they hit her.

Chase laughed. “Nice. Very nice.”

“It’s like a super soaker, but without the plastic gun,” she spluttered.

“Fun!” Chase exclaimed. Then his expression suddenly dropped, becoming more serious. “Hey, uh...how’s Jack doing?”

“Roxy says he’s stable. Not much change.” Stacy shrugged. “Of course, my sister is a fish scientist and not a merm doctor, but I think we’d notice if something went wrong.”

“She’s a lot more...nice than the stick-in-the-mud I remember,” Chase remarked.

“Well, she mellowed out a lot after college.” Stacy shone her flashlight out across the water again, this time landing on Muirin, talking to the octopus merm in the chirping language. She figured that the language must’ve been magically transferred to the twins’ brains the moment they were fully submerged for the first time in their life. That was weird, but not as weird as them being half-merm in the first place. She’d always sort of wondered if they’d have some sort of fish qualities, but those qualities never showed up when they were younger. Guess it had to be underwater for that to happen. “Well, at least your friend isn’t hanging out at the Institute anymore.”

“Schneep? Yeah.” Chase glanced over at him. “I think he still kind of wants to, just to make sure Jack is alright, but that place kind of upsets him.” He lowered his voice. “I think he...had a thing with humans in the past. A not-so-nice thing.”

“Hmm? Have you asked him?”

“Well, no. I don’t want to upset him.”

“That’s fair.” Stacy fell silent for a moment, scanning the water with her flashlight a bit more. Sereia was swimming with Jackie, him teaching her some tricks. The two merms by the dock—who she now remembered were Marvin and Jameson—were still practicing their magic tricks, and Muirin and Schneep had gone on to watching Jackie and Sereia race around. “Chase…I do have a question.”

Chase paled, suddenly looking very nervous.

“Why...why haven’t we talked?”

“Um…” Chase slipped back into the water. “What do you mean? Of course we’ve talked.”

“I mean, yeah, you talked to me when you needed help with your friend Jack. But we haven’t really talked.”

“About...about what?”

Stacy laughed. “How about ‘holy shit I still can’t believe I dated a merman’? How about ‘holy shit I had kids with a merman’? Y’know I half-convinced myself that the whole ‘merman’ thing was some sort of grief-stricken hallucination I had after you disappeared. I mean, I still thought about you. I got really into the ocean because of you. And like...now it turns out my kids can become merpeople—merms. And you have all these merm friends and a merm enemy who kidnapped our kids—holy shit to that too, by the way!” Stacy paused. “And in all this, you...you haven’t talked to me. It’s a little...I dunno. You know?”

Chase stared at her, eyes wide. “I...I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I-I didn’t want to make it...weird. You know? Because like, fuck, I mean it’s been twelve years. I don’t know what your life is like now. Maybe you didn’t want to see me! Maybe you even married someone else! And maybe, I dunno...I-I just didn’t want to impose myself, you know? Like, just because I still remember you doesn’t mean you still remember me.” He was slowly sinking into the water with every statement. “I-I mean, it’s a little weird, still coming to the place every year and still holding onto this cap, and I didn’t want—”

“Chase, it’s not weird,” Stacy interrupted. “People still go to the places that were special for them and a partner they really liked. People still hold on to things from that time.”

“But I mean…” He was almost entirely in the water at this point. “Twelve years—”

“C’mon. You fall in love with someone of a different species, you’re gonna keep thinking about them. I’ve kept thinking about…” Stacy trailed off. “If anything, it’s my fault. I never showed up. I left you hanging.”

“Didn’t you move, though?” Chase asked.

“Yeah, my parents found out I got pregnant at seventeen and flipped their shit. But we agreed four years later. By then, I was finishing college. I totally could’ve found a way to meet you, but I didn’t.” Stacy rubbed at her eyes. “And I am so sorry that I never even tried, even if I sort of started to doubt—”

“Look, neither of us expected the move,” Chase said. “That changed everything. And none of it is your fault.”

Stacy smiled sadly. “How about this. I’ll say it’s not my fault, if you say that you’re not weird or imposing.”

“Deal.” Chase offered his hand. Stacy laughed, and shook it. “Do you want to...give it a try again? I mean, it’s okay if you don’t.”

Stacy grinned. “Another try sounds alright. I mean, I’m moving back here anyway so the kids can be close to the ocean. The city has a great aquarium, y’know. But...let’s agree that we’ll be understanding if it doesn’t work out for one of us.”

“That sounds good.” Chase nodded, and looked back out over the water. “We better get started before Sereia and Jackie somehow manage to knock the whole dock down.”

“Hmm, my money’s on your magic friends doing that first.”

“At least we can agree that those guys aren’t the problem,” Chase chuckled, waving over to where Muirin and Schneep were still chatting. “Anyway. Are we going now?”

“Yep.” Stacy stood up, reaching over and grabbing the duffel bag she’d brought. With some light from the flashlight, she unzipped the bag and took a white, a miniature DVD player, and a projector.

“What’d you bring?” Chase asked.

“The Little Mermaid. Figured it was a good place to start. And your friends can have fun yelling about how wrong it is.”

“Oh, they’d like that.” He looked over at the others and yelled something in the merm language, catching everyone’s attention. The whole group swam over to the shore, with Sereia and Muirin climbing out of the water and onto the pebbles.

“Aaa look at me! I’m a fish out of water!” Sereia rolled onto her back and flopped her tail while Muirin giggled.

“Oh no!” Stacy looked mock-shocked. “Well I guess we better rrroll you back in, then!” She started rolling Sereia back towards the water.

“Mom, no, I’m fine!” Sereia protested. Muirin started to laugh harder.

In the water, the merms were jostling for space, chattering to each other. Jackie slapped Marvin with his tail only for Marvin to splash him with a magically-enhanced wave. Jameson was signing at Schneep, nudging him to scoot over. When Schneep refused to move, Jameson ducked underwater and popped up in between Schneep’s arm, ignoring his screeches. Chase just smiled, settling into his spot.

They got the movie rolling easily. Though it was late, the kids were allowed to stay up, since this was a special occasion. Chase explained to the other merms about the movie while they chirped about how different it was than reality, though none of them seemed too bothered by that. The moon rose in the sky, and eventually the movie ended, and all had to part ways. But they all went home feeling content and tired after a long, fun night. 

[aion-rsa]

Why Oblivion is Still the Best Elder Scrolls Game

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

With their acquisition of ZeniMax Studios finally complete, Microsoft is poised to challenge Sony’s recent reign of exclusivity dominance by potentially making the next generation of Bethesda releases exclusive to Game Pass platforms. For the moment, though, the biggest benefit of this acquisition is undoubtedly the ability to access a good portion of Bethesda’s library of classic games via Game Pass.

While most of the Bethesda games recently added to Game Pass are worth playing for one reason or another, few are more intriguing than The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. Sandwiched between the releases of the revolutionary Morrowind and the eternally re-released Skyrim, Oblivion is sometimes thought of as the middle child in the modern history of one of gaming’s most beloved RPG series. Nearly 15 years after its release, though, it’s remarkably easier than ever to appreciate the many ways that Oblivion represents the very best of the Elder Scrolls franchise.

Don’t believe me? Use its recent addition to the Game Pass library as an excuse to play Oblivion again (or perhaps for the first time), and you’ll find these reasons (and more) why it remains arguably the best Elder Scrolls adventure so far.

Oblivion Has (By Far) the Best Elder Scrolls Quests and Stories

Let’s start with one thing that few Elder Scrolls fans will argue against. When it comes to quests and stories, Oblivion is a far better game than Morrowind or Skyrim.

I’ve talked about this more extensively in my look at the best Elder Scrolls quests ever, but I remain truly amazed at how much thought and creativity went into even the most “average” quest in Oblivion. That baseline level of quality is really the key point here. While many of Oblivion’s biggest quests (such as the Dark Brotherhood and Thieves Guild assignments) are obviously memorable, even the little quests along the way that you may have forgotten about offer something special that helps them stand out.

I don’t know why the Elder Scrolls quest design and writing teams were at the top of their game at this time, but I doubt even The Elder Scrolls 6 can top the work they did here.

Oblivion Found a Nice Middle Ground Between Accessibility and Depth

For quite some time, the line on Oblivion has been that it’s the “middle” game between Morrowind and Skyrim. While that’s obviously true of its release date, that idea speaks more to the suggestion that Oblivion represents Bethesda’s struggles to balance the more hardcore RPG ideas of a game like Morrowind and the accessibility improvements featured in Skyrim.

Some say that means Oblivion doesn’t truly excel at either pursuit, but I don’t see it like that. In Oblivion, you get a taste of Morrowind’s incredible RPG philosophies and mechanics without having to deal with that game’s most annoying aspects. At the same time, Oblivion manages to be much more playable than its predecessor while still feeling deeper overall than its successor from a role-playing perspective. 

Oblivion doesn’t necessarily combine the best of Skyrim and Morrowind, but it finds a nice middle-ground between those styles that’s easy to appreciate to this day. 

Shivering Isles is Still the Best DLC Expansion Bethesda Has Ever Made

Granted, I can’t (and would never try to) defend most of Oblivion’s DLC. There’s a reason that “Horse Armor” is still used as the gold standard for exploitative and uninspired video game microtransactions.

However, it’s easier to forgive Oblivion‘s DLC stumbles when you realize they all eventually led to the Shivering Isles expansion. That was the expansion that finally dared to answer the question “What if The Elder Scrolls just got weird with it?” By transporting players to a land ruled by Sheogorath (the often hilarious Daedric Prince of Madness), Shivering Isles dropped most of the stuffier fantasy elements of the franchise in favor of allowing the talented Oblivion design team and writers to breathe life into their wildest ideas.

The golden age of single-player DLC expansions was highlighted by the idea of letting studios break free and truly experiment with new and strange creations that would otherwise not likely see the light of day. Shivering Isles is perhaps the greatest example of that era.

Oblivion’s Atmosphere is Consistent and Helps Tell a Story

I will freely admit that the province of Cyrodiil isn’t always the most interesting place. There are certainly times when it comes across as “Capital City, Fantasyland.”

Yet, there’s a consistency to Oblivion’s atmosphere that I remain fascinated with years after its release. While Morrowind’s alien-like worlds are hard to beat from a pure design perspective and Skyrim’s tundras offer a welcome deviation from the most common fantasy tropes, there’s something about the way that everything flows in Oblivion that I’d argue Bethesda has never quite replicated.

Individual regions of Oblivion’s map manage to remain distinct while also feeling like the logical progression of the area you just arrived from and the area you’re going to. There’s also something to be said for how Oblivion sells the idea of people battling to protect their land from invasion and corruption by presenting a fantasy world that you might actually want to live in.

Get Past Their Voice Acting, and Oblivion Might Have the Best NPCs in any Elder Scrolls Game

I’d like to argue that Oblivion’s “bad” voice acting and awkward NPC designs actually give the game a personality you don’t find in refined titles, but I understand that some rough edges are hard to ignore.

Instead, let’s focus on the ways that Oblivion’s NPCs are advanced even by modern design standards. Nearly every NPC in Oblivion has a personality of their own, something unique to say to you, and will legitimately go about a daily schedule that even changes from day to day due to their ability to make dynamic decisions rather than simply follow a tightly scripted path.

At a time when developers are sometimes more interested in putting more characters on-screen rather than crafting richer NPCs (looking at you Cyberpunk 2077), there’s something undeniably refreshing about a game that emphasizes offering more unique interactions rather than simply relying on the quantity of NPCs.

Oblivion Let You Build Wild (and Broken) Characters

The “highlight” of Oblivion‘s character-building system in the minds of many fans will undoubtedly be the time they discovered it’s possible to make a truly invisible character who can pretty much do whatever they want. That kind of mechanical exploitation is certainly one of the most noteworthy examples of how Oblivion let you run wild with the characters you created.

Yet, when I think back on my hours with Oblivion, the kinds of broken characters I appreciate most are the ones who didn’t make it far. While Oblivion’s enemy scaling system has been (often rightfully) criticized for its shortcomings, there’s something to be said for how the game’s attempts at offering a consistent challenge level meant that your design decisions were tested more often throughout the game.

It wasn’t a perfect system, but when compared to a game like Skyrim, or even titles like Destiny, where building a viable character is really about reaching higher levels and reaping the rewards, I miss, at the very least, Oblivion’s attempts to challenge me to master the character I built and the times it would actively punish my worst decisions.

Oblivion is Less About Combat and More About Adventure

In terms of pure combat, Skyrim is really in a class of its own when compared to the other Elder Scrolls games. Its improved controls, cinematic qualities, and smoother animations are more than enough to make it the favorite among Elder Scrolls fans looking for the best action.

I certainly recognize that some of Oblivion’s combat system problems are the result of bad decisions and outdated technology, but years later, I really appreciate how the game was never really about the action; it was about the adventure. Much like how Fellowship of the Ring utilized action sequences as the response to danger that our heroes otherwise tried to avoid, combat in Oblivion is just one of those things that you’ll come across as you explore but isn’t necessarily meant to be the grand set piece or the big draw.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

While Oblivion’s main questline betrays this philosophy somewhat during its most action-heavy (and often worst) moments, there’s still a sense that the game is more about exploration, storytelling, and the little discoveries you make along the way rather than a desire to get you to the next big sequence or other chances to simply fuel a power fantasy.

The post Why Oblivion is Still the Best Elder Scrolls Game appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3vjIt9R

[wlwoodnymph]

apocalypse diaries

a little account of living in oregon during the 2020 wildfires/COVID-19 pandemic. mostly under the read more :)

Monday, 9/7

This morning, the sky was blue. Hot, the sun harsh for September, but blue and clear. I went on a walk with my mom, threading through shaded forests, cresting the hilltop with a view of town, and passing by fields rimmed with sweet ripe blackberries on the bush. We saw lots of people -- a perfect late summer day in a perfect little town, where the grand brick buildings of campus and small downtown storefronts are ringed by rolling farmland, a smooth-flowing river, and forested hills that grow into sheltering mountains.

Of course, we walked six feet apart, and hid our noses and mouths behind masks whenever we passed others on the narrow trails. And almost everyone else did too, in a show of courtesy -- it felt perfectly normal. I am still occasionally taken aback when I shy away from others or try to trap my breath or hear an announcement beginning “To stop the spread of the virus...” while grocery shopping. But these things don’t surprise me as much as seeing a photograph of two people unmasked and nearly touching, or watching the neighbors have a birthday party, people and music spilling out of their kitchen and onto the balcony. The connection and celebration I had known my whole life, now completely foreign.

Despite it all, that morning felt perfectly normal. After discussing our birthdays, my classes, and my mom’s anxiety about going backpacking, I returned home and made vegetable soup, watched Prince of Tennis with my roommates, and practiced taking integrals. The afternoon passed quietly, doing calculus at the table, until I glimpsed a sliver of strange sky through the blinded window. I stepped onto the balcony and into another kind of apocalypse.

The most welcome thing about outside was the breeze, making the dry air just bearable after the hot day. The concrete was still warm under my feet, comforting. It seemed the wind had blown in smoke from some fire, far-away until now. The sun, setting and shrouded by the smoke, glowed red and foreboding. The rest of the air was tinted yellow, and if not for the sepia tones, it might have just looked foggy, everything smudged and faded. 

Notably, the smoke hadn’t stopped the games of beach volleyball in the park across the street. Quiet shouts and static-y pop music filled the air along with the wind, which rattled the trees’ dry leaves. Someone walked their dog by, pausing to take a picture of the sun. A car started and pulled out of our complex. A leaf scraped across the ground, and the smoke filled my nose.

I stood outside for longer than I needed to, somehow trapped by the warm concrete under my feet and soothing breeze on my arms. The smoke scent was light, and seemed innocuous until I thought about how far away the fires must be -- out in the Cascades, not the little hills that sheltered my town. The wind suddenly seemed a bit less friendly, carrying them closer. I thought about the emergency alert for high heat and winds earlier that day, and (among other things) the big signs along I-5 that discouraged travel during the pandemic, and slipped back inside.

Instead, I raised the blinds, to observe the progress of the red sun and the shrouding smoke and just-green trees buffeted by the wind. I did try to go outside again, to write, but the smoke was thicker, enough to make me cough. I thought about the virus, and watched bits of ash float past, and went back inside. It wasn’t worth the worry of giving myself a sore throat. 

So now I’m sitting in my kitchen, and watching it grow unnaturally dark as the clock passes 7:00. The sky is yellower, and the trees and volleyball players have faded, drifting into the thickening smoke. I looked up the air quality a bit ago -- unhealthy for people with sensitive lungs, which is better than I expected. It all feels very strange, but mundane. The volleyball continues even as the sky grows dark. Cottonwood seeds float by with the ash. And I am just watching from a quiet kitchen, with dishes that still need doing. I wonder how long the smoke might last -- I’d love to open my window tonight. 

This morning had felt so normal in comparison, even though the smoke is such a small thing in comparison to the shuttered schools and stores, the cancelled concerts, and the rules of six feet and masked faces. But still, I get up and do the dishes, move my laundry to the drier, and watch a movie with my sister (over Zoom, of course). I can hear the wind whistling outside, and the smoke scent begins to seep in even though all the windows are closed. I hope that I don’t wake up smelling smoke and that I can open my window soon. Wishful thinking, and I realize that I barely bother to wonder anymore when I might dare to touch someone I don’t already share air with.

Tuesday, 9/8

 I wake up a few times as night fades into morning, mostly from the growing light, but once from the shower starting on the other side of the wall -- my roommate has work at 8:30. My comforter is on the floor, my battery pack and earbuds are in the bed where I discarded them before going to sleep. I am almost too warm under just a sheet, but I curl back into it each time I wake. The whole sky is yellow-orange, as if the sunrise fills all the air, but it’s just smoke shrouding my surroundings. It is alien, this dusty neon sky, but I go back to sleep anyway.

When I get up, the downstairs is dark, one window covered and smoke filtering light out from the rest. It feels like evening, but I make an egg and toast and eat a beautiful nectarine, which reminds me of yesterday morning, a flawless piece of summer. It is hard to think of anything about this summer as flawless. I can see bits of ash flutter by the window, like snowflakes, and I long for last winter.

After breakfast, I water the balcony plants. The smoke scent is strong, sharper than yesterday, and the fires creep closer. There is ash layered in the pots, and on our table and chairs. My bare feet leave prints. I also mist the plants with water, to make the balcony air, dry from the wind, more bearable. Balcony life is ill-suited to most plants, and I wonder if they know where they are, if they know that the salvatory humidity on their leaves is man-made.

I finish as quickly as possible, and return inside, where the air is already too warm (the cool morning outside had been a relief), but clear and clean. I would like to drive to the stormy coast, to go swimming in the cold water of the nearby river, even to cool myself with a mist from the plants’ spray bottle, but I don’t. Instead, I wash my face and brush my teeth and get my calculus workbook and another cup of coffee. I open to the chapter on motion problems and watch a dog-walker drift by with the ash. There is no volleyball today, the air hazardous.

-

The first part of today passes like yesterday. I finish my calculus and eat yesterday’s soup for lunch. I call our internet provider to complain about our abysmal internet speeds. The call takes 30 minutes, and we get nowhere. She asks about the weather where I am, and I hold back a laugh. I glance out the window, as if to check that the smoke hasn’t up and left and say “Not too bad. We have some smoke blowing in from wildfires though.” I guess it’s not too bad -- I’m safe, at least.

Afterwards, I go up to my room to get something, and wince at the scent of smoke inside. My throat has started to catch, and my roommate’s eyes are watering. We decide to venture out to get sealing tape. It’s nice to do something, and for a moment, this feels like an adventure, a brave expedition into the unknown to protect us and ours. For one of the first times since March, I am present, letting the moment, the heavy smoke sink into my skin. I will remember, but who will I tell about these days? What will still be here, who might still be shocked by it when this is all over?

The feeling of adventure only lasts as long as the Home Depot parking lot, where the smoke chokes thick in my throat and the wind whips ash into our eyes. It is evening, and the sun must be sinking again, because the sky turns from dusty brown to red-orange, far too dark for a summer 6:00. It makes the grass a plastic shade of vibrant green and suddenly, I want nothing more than to be home, out of the smoke. The adventure is gone, and even when we return home, the sickly orange from the windows and bright ceiling light makes me feel melancholy, lonely and lost.

I’m not sure what to do with the feeling, but I know that I need to start taping our doors and windows. I go downstairs, where it is the worst, and as I run tape along the seams of the front door, I feel ash beneath my feet. The flames seem to lick at our walls, and for the first time, I wonder how far the winds will drive the fires. Where would we go, when the rest of the state is already fleeing to us? 

I think of March 11th, when my university announced they would go online for most of finals week and the first week of spring term. I remember how we watched other states, other colleges, shutter, and wondered when or if we might do that. I remember March 23rd, when the governor ordered us into our houses to stay, and how we planned grimly for a few weeks’ change. I wonder how long this will last.

Thankfully, we watch Prince of Tennis and read our dumb romance novel, and I forget for a bit -- it is nice to be stuck inside with these people, at least. As the evening winds down, we finish taping windows. We tell our other roommate, who is away, to come in through the garage when he gets home. It’s the only door we don’t tape, the double entrance acting like an airlock. I even carry the balcony plants inside, so we can seal it off. They are dry and ashy, but probably happier to be inside. Even coated in ash, the basil, sage, and tomato still smell like lovely and herby, and it makes me smile.

Wednesday-Friday, 9/9-9/11

    The next few days pass like this. We stay inside, and watch the shifts of the sky from orange to yellow to sepia, a strange fog settled over us. We monitor the smell of smoke in the house, how it changes from day-to-day and room-to-room. At least the smoke blocks the sun, and keeps it cool while we can’t open the windows.

    I am reading a Money Diary on Friday morning, and the author mentions how “shocking the images coming out of Portland are”. For a moment, I am amused -- Portland has some of the least smoke in Oregon right now. Then I realize she probably means the protests, or the detainment of protestors in unmarked federal vans.

    I thought it was a good thing, how little the smoke bothered me. I’m a natural resources major -- I know that forest fires are inevitable. Even though they are unusually bad right now, in part because of climate change, their existence does not alarm me. It is tragic that people are losing their homes, but that is almost inevitable, as long as we build in forests and let fuel grow thick and close to what we love.

    But even so, this has never happened before, and in some moments, it hits me. It is scary the fires have stretched so far, that they may continue to be this bad for many years, that we are so ill-equipped, that this happens as people go hungry and are evicted and die from this pandemic. As I typed the words “detainment of protestors in unmarked federal vans.” I wondered if I had become numb. I know this is bad, but it feels so distant, so unreal, so unavoidable. I am almost powerless, so what does it matter if I care? It’s easier to not feel anything, to fixate instead on the hundreds of tiny crises my mind makes of my body and life. I finish my coffee and do my math and try to ignore the pain throbbing in my elbow.

Saturday-Thursday, 9/12-9/17

    It was supposed to clear up on Friday. When it didn’t, Tuesday and even Wednesday looked better, the air quality “moderate”. However, it remains “unhealthy”, and I cancel my trips to The Arc and Goodwill, so I can at least meet my mom outside for her birthday. She is struggling with the smoke, but glad to get outside for a bit. Instead of the long hike we had planned, we sit six feet apart on a bench, and I feel like a monster for cringing away from her. The breeze on my skin, though, is a blessing, salvation after a week of the same stale, still air in our house. I want to open my window.

    There is rain coming, and wind, and maybe later this week the smoke will clear. We plan for my birthday, assuming that outside, the only safe place to meet our friends, will be safe itself. I imagine pulling all the tape off, and wonder if it will have to go back on. When will we feel safe enough to let the air in? Will I ever shake hands with a stranger again? Will I continue to recoil at the very thought of entering a store without a mask? It feels like being naked.

    The rain does come, in drizzles, on Thursday night. It comes with flashes of lightning and rolling purrs of thunder, soothing, while we make pretzels and fondue, and I feel joyous, unhindered for the first time in more than a week. When we finish our cooking, we go outside. It is still smoky, but muted, and the smell is mixed with the delightful scent of a long-needed rain. I grin and hop onto the curb as we walk to the park. We talk and I climb on the play structures (I dropped my bouldering class, even though I miss it fiercely) until the thunder roars too close, and we return inside. It feels like a gift, something I could pray for.

Friday, 9/18

    I’m listening to ASMR in bed (it’s after midnight, so technically Friday), and when I take my headphones off to go to sleep, I realize it is pouring. I briefly entertain the idea of going outside, but it doesn’t quite seem worth drying off after. Instead, I lay awake, listening to thunder and rain, and think about what could have been. I am still happy, finally given a good form of novelty.

    I wake up that morning and the sky is clear as can be. I grin. As soon as I eat breakfast, I grab my bike to go shopping -- the air quality is “moderate”. I take deep lungfuls, uncaring that the air is public. It smells so good, smoke-free and rain-filled. 

    The first rain of autumn always feels like a return home. I don’t like the dry grass and merciless heat, especially when I am stuck inside, watching. It feels so strange, to see the exact same yellow-brown leaves littering the ground, feel the same cool damp air on my skin, the same weak, soothing sun. So much has changed, but this is still the same. I think of my middle and high school soccer games, of watching my favorite YouTubers play Undertale with a cup of tea on stormy Saturday nights, of sitting next to my dad’s fireplace with our kittens, of doing homework while my mom’s partner watches football. The season reminds me of home, but I’m not sure that I feel comforted. 

    I know that I’ve changed, and so has the world. I desperately, desperately, want this place to still feel like home, and maybe it will tomorrow, maybe it will next fall. I also don’t want to think about next fall -- what will have happened by then? What will have happened in five years? I have my hopes, but they feel slim. I hope that I am home and safe, and that I can take a breath without fearing smoke or virus or tear gas. And I am lucky, in the grand scheme of things.

    At least I can breathe right now. I bike home from the Arc, and revel in cold rain dripping from my legs when I stop at Fred Meyer, where I get prints of my friends for our living room. At home, I pull off the tape and throw open the windows. Cold, fresh air rushes in, and it feels like life. The sound of pouring rain and thunder is refreshing, after so many days of static. Here, now, maybe not in five minutes, but now, I feel relieved, unweighted, even if just briefly. It will not be a long reprieve, but I am grateful nonetheless.

[xb-squaredx]

Pokémon Sword and Shield: A Franchise Turning Point

The Pokémon franchise has been around for over 20 years, and in that time it has proven to be more than a passing fad and has carved out a massive multi-media empire. Outside of some rare spinoffs like the Pokémon Stadium games or the likes of Colosseum or Pokken Tournament, the series has stayed primarily on handheld consoles. For years fans dreamed of what a true, mainline Pokémon game could be like on a home console. During E3 2017 when Game Freak announced that such a title was in development for Switch, people got excited. The resulted games, Let’s Go Pikachu and Eevee were not quite the main leap people expected, instead being a strange hybrid of Pokémon GO and remakes of Pokémon Yellow. However, the announcement that a true new generation of Pokémon would hit the Switch in 2019 reignited that hype. While at first excitement was high, over time a dark cloud hung over the titles, Pokémon Sword and Shield. Controversies erupted over the announcement that not every little critter would be featured or transferable to the game, and as time went on any new announcement was met with pushback. Everything from visuals to new features was criticized all the way up to launch day. Now that Sword and Shield are in players’ hands, at the end of the day…how did it all turn out?

A WHOLE NEW WORLD

This time around, trainers embark across the Galar region, basically the Pokémon equivalent to the UK. I do like Galar as a setting; it has a ton of character, with probably the most interesting aspect to it that Pokémon battles are treated as a major spectator sport. If you want to join in the Gym Challenge, you need a sponsor, and your Gym battles take place in massive stadiums filled to the brim with roaring fans. It’s an interesting deviation from past games, even if the basic formula is about the same. The characters within Galar also have a fair amount of charm from your main rivals to the Gym Leaders, to the undefeated Champion. A lot of people give Hop, your main rival, a lot of flak, but I found he had a lot of hidden depth to him and he has a satisfying arc as the story goes on. As he loses to you again and again, he doubts himself and subsequent battles have him throwing in random Pokémon and strangely his signature partner, the adorable Wooloo, is absent. Once he gets his act together, however, he forms a pretty balanced team, and Wooloo’s back front-and-center. It was a neat moment of character growth shown off through gameplay. As far as Champions go, Leon has a lot more presence throughout the game than a lot of past Champions. His flair, his awful fashion sense, his inability to follow directions…it all made him a bit more endearing. Most of the Gym Leaders are pretty much just there as stepping stones, but they all are fairly memorable either for designs or flashes of personality. It helps that everyone gives you neato trading cards too!

Galar’s main claim-to-fame is the Wild Area, a huge collection of different biomes located smack in the middle of the map. It has far and away the largest collection of Pokémon within, with different monsters appearing depending on the weather or time of day. It’s a place you’ll be returning to time and time again, and it made a big impact. It’s the only area in the game with a controllable camera, for one, and rather than follow a linear balance curve, the Pokémon you encounter in the Wild Area are often far too strong to handle. You’re even forbidden from catching Pokémon if you lack a certain number of Gym Badges, so the place is full of Pokémon you can only really admire from afar until you’re “worthy” of getting them.

Take the Wild Area away though, and Galar feels pretty small. With only ten Routes in the game, Galar is among the smaller regions. Most Routes are very straightforward, not many branching paths or hidden goodies, and there isn’t any neat new areas opened up after beating the game either. The Wild Area, from a franchise standpoint at least, is pretty impressive, but looking at the game on the whole it feels a little lacking. That’s not to say Sword and Shield don’t bring in new mechanics to mess around with, but whether they make up for what’s been taken away is going to vary with people.

GO BIG OR GO HOME

Since the games went 3D, each region tends to have its own core “gimmick” to differentiate it with older titles. X and Y had Mega Evolution, Sun and Moon had Z-Moves and for Sword and Shield we have Dynamax. Something in the air in Galar can allow Pokémon to grow to colossal size for a short time, granting them extremely powerful Max Moves for its duration. While Dynamaxing seems cool at first, the spectacle kinda wears off after your first few uses of it (not to mention the animation lasts forever), and upon further inspection it’s not as great of an upgrade as you’d think. For one, a Dynamaxed Pokémon only gets a health increase, and all other stats stay the same. Abilities and their elemental types stay the same too, so it’s not a game-changer like Mega Evolution was and it really has more in common with Z-Moves. The Max Moves can be nice, as they’re usually a good deal more powerful when it comes to raw damage, and can come with nice side-effects, but it’s kinda inconsistent. The stronger Fighting-type moves actually become weaker as Max Moves, for one. On top of the base Dynamax ability, some Pokémon can use “Gigantamaxing” instead. This changes their look overall and grants them a unique G-Max Move, though considering how hard they can be to acquire I’m not sure it’s all that satisfying. It doesn’t help that rather than having a certain species of Pokémon capable of Gigantamaxing, it comes down to unique Pokémon themselves that have the trait and it can’t be passed down through breeding either. Overall, Dynamaxing has its uses but I highly doubt it’ll become a staple of the series and will likely be replaced with something else for the Generation 9 games, and I can’t say I’ll miss the mechanic much.

One big addition to the series is Max Raid Battles, found in dens littered all over the Wild Area. Teaming up with up to three other players, locally or online (or team up with awful CPUs if alone), your goal is to take out a permanently Dynamaxed Pokémon. You get a limited amount of turns and if you suffer more than four knockouts, the Raid will end in failure. Victory, however, enables you to get rare and powerful Pokémon, some even coming with really great stats and difficult-to-obtain Abilities, and it’s practically the only way to get Gigantamax Pokémon. The difficulty of the Raids increases as you progress through the game, however, and the Five Star Raids can be brutal. The rewards are great though, getting a lot of extra loot. Bonus moves to teach Pokémon, EXP candies that eliminate a lot of grinding, and more, even if the capture attempt fails. The one real issue with Raids is that some Pokémon can be pretty stingy with appearing in Raids, and you’ll have to use somewhat rare items, Wishing Pieces, to kick some Raids off. There are also the occasional connection issues, but I have more to say on that later.

Outside of these new features, there are the standard quality-of-life changes that each game has, though some can be harder to notice and appreciate than others. You can send Pokémon in storage out on Jobs, to get some neat rewards and some EXP for them, though I find them to be a bit underwhelming. Being able to swap Pokémon on the fly now is a godsend, and together with the EXP Share built into the game, it allowed me the freedom to switch up the monsters in my party and get newcomers up to speed quickly. Most games I barely bother with more than the maximum six, but the sheer variety of Pokémon in Galar let me feel more comfortable with constantly swapping around. On that same note, no National Dex aside, there’s a LOT of choices in Galar. Route 1 alone has over ten Pokémon you can catch right at the start, as opposed to the common mammal, common bug and common bird. It was nice to see some under-represented Pokémon make the cut, but I won’t argue with anyone bummed that their favorites aren’t allowed in. It is a regrettable decision overall, even if it might have been unavoidable here.

Now, you’ll notice I didn’t mention the story much at all because…there isn’t much of one. Pokémon as a franchise isn’t known for its storytelling, despite the Black and White and Sun and Moon games existing and having very well-done stories. Overall, Sword and Shield seems to focus more on characters than an overarching plot and that isn’t too bad overall, but it makes the eventual climax more than a little disappointing. Team Yell, our villainous organization this time around, are just a bunch of hardcore fans for another rival of yours, a girl named Marnie. The conclusion to their story felt very flat, and the eventual main problem involving the Legendary Pokémon is tacked onto the end of the game with little build-up. It doesn’t help that the main villain’s motivation doesn’t make sense. He wants to avert an energy crisis that’s 1000 years from actually happening, and for some reason he refuses to let you get your shot at fighting the Champion because apparently putting things off for one day is unacceptable. It’s just very sloppy. And honestly, “sloppy” can describe a lot of this game, sadly.

WHY Y-COMM WHY

No game is without flaws, and Sword and Shield are far from the first Pokémon games to have their fair share of issues, but it’s hard to shake the feeling that these games in particular are a victim of compromise. Game Freak doesn’t have the luxury of delaying games and polishing them up to a fine sheen, not when the multimedia empire has merch and anime to launch at the same time. I’m also certain that working on this game alongside the Let’s Go games AND Little Town Hero did them no favors. So there are areas in the game that lack polish. The story’s abrupt conclusion, the visuals in general, and Galar itself feeling a tad empty; these are all compromises that had to be made to get this game to ship on the date decided well in advance. I can sympathize with the developers here, and really they’re in an un-enviable position. But at the same time, I’ve been playing Pokémon games for over twenty years, and I kind of expect better, you know? Far too many times I have to shake my head and question why something is designed the way it is, or why it feels at times like the games are going backwards in quality. Problems that were solved several games ago rear their ugly heads again, and for this being a brand new generation and the “proper” debut on a powerful home console, I can’t help but feel that this is just a 3DS game that’s been blown up onto my TV.

NPC character models and the Pokémon themselves look fine, as does the sleek UI, but environments look kinda rough. The Wild Area itself, I say with no exaggeration, looks like it was ripped out of a GameCube game. Those trees are a meme, but at the same time, they also look that bad. Some of the main towns are pretty grandiose, be it the giant castle theme of Hammerlocke, or the steampunk designs of Motostoke, while others feel incredibly barren. It’s kind of intentional with Spikemuth, but I was more than a little disappointed with how small towns feel. While it’s great that HMs have been officially retired (starting from Sun and Moon), Galar itself feels like it has little to offer those that want to explore. You don’t get access to a way to cross water until near the endgame, but there are only a small handful of areas you’d need to backtrack to with that ability. There’s not even a Victory Road in this game, or a rough equivalent.

Sword and Shield, from a competitive standpoint, seems to be trying to make strides in breaking down barriers and allowing more casual fans to dip their toes into competitive play, which I really appreciate, but I think there’s still room for improvement. While on the one hand, it’s never been easier to tweak and customize your Pokémon to your heart’s desire, the game is still not as transparent on certain subjects. You can view a Pokémon’s Effort Values, extra points you can place towards stats, on their stat screen, but only if you hit the X button on that screen, and there’s no indication that’s a thing you can even do. I was more than fifty hours into the game before a friend even told me that! There have been some pretty major strides to reduce the time commitment however, so I have to give the game credit there. As far as game balance goes, having less Pokémon to choose from does inspire creativity, though from what I hear, a fair few Pokémon are a bit of a problem, but that’s no different than any other game. Honestly, even attempting to balance a game with so many moving parts and possible strategies is pretty admirable. I’m not deep into the meta of competitive Pokémon though, so I feel there’s not much I can add to the conversation. If there’s one thing I can’t defend however, it’s this game’s connectivity features.

Starting from the DS era, Pokémon has had online features, but Sword and Shield marks the first time that the Global Trade Station, or GTS, has not been available. This means it’s impossible to put up a posting for a desired Pokémon, or fulfill other’s requests. This wouldn’t be so bad if the way to trade with friends wasn’t such a chore. Rather than being able to freely select a friend and initiate a trade or battle with them, players must enter four-digit codes and HOPE the game pairs them up. This is in every way a downgrade from the past several games. X and Y released over SIX years ago and solved this very issue with the Player Search System. Y-Comm, as it stands, is an awful replacement and there’s not one thing about it that other systems didn’t do better.

If you connect online, the game will have “stamps” appear that show you what friends are doing, alongside broadcasting trade or battle requests from random people, but often those requests are out of date, and trying to join in will result in error messages, the requests fulfilled long ago. Trying to join friends in Raid Battles is an exercise in trial and error, and if online in the Wild Area, other players constantly appear within it and as a result the game begins to chug along. What could have been a neat way to interact with other players across the world results in the game becoming worse to play, so I mostly left it off. Connecting with others has always been a franchise selling point, way back to the days of the Game Boy Link Cables. To see this game drop the ball so severely is worrying. I care about this far more than the graphical issues, far more than the National Dex, and it makes me hesitant to try out the next titles if they can’t solve these issues and KEEP them solved.

AN UNCERTAIN FUTURE

Pokémon Sword and Shield are not bad games; they’re in fact filled with charm and fun. I’ve logged over 80 hours into the game over the past few weeks and the hours flew by. There’s a lot of work that’s clearly been put into the game. The Pokémon designs and concepts this time around are really creative, for one. There’s the Applin line, dragons that hide in apples, and the abominations that are this game’s fossils; carelessly stitched together pieces of incompatible fossils resulting in a freak of nature. I love them. My heart goes out to Game Freak, because it’s clear people worked hard here, but this simply can’t be the game they wanted to make. I think Sword and Shield are turning points for the series, but it’s unclear if that’s a good thing or not.

For all the backlash and negativity surrounding these games, they’re still the fastest-selling Switch games ever. Many fans are pretty satisfied with the game as-is, and the real bitter pill disgruntled fans need to swallow is that…these games have no real reason to improve in quality. Think about it; sales aren’t down, and there’s not a true rival to these games anymore, so why would the hire-ups at Nintendo and The Pokémon Company give these games more time and resources? On top of this, remember that these games are only one part of the massive whole that is the Pokémon brand. Pokémon GO makes a frankly disgusting amount of money, the anime has been going strong for two decades, merch is in no short supply, and now we can likely add major Hollywood films to the list as well. If Game Freak was any other developer, behind any other franchise, they’d likely be able to delay the games to polish them up and add in content that would otherwise be cut, but they can’t do that when they MUST launch simultaneously with the anime, the card games, the merchandise, etc.

The series has been around for so long now as well, while many fans have likely moved on from the franchise, new ones are lining up to take their place. On top of that, there are Pokémon diehards that will likely always support the series. Pokémon is a constant for them; it’s almost like comfort food in game form. They’re not WRONG for feeling that way, and I’m kinda in that same boat. I knew going in that these games were going to be somewhat disappointing, but I still bought the thing! For all the rage directed at these games, many people still gave them their money, and I think the message has been read loud and clear: Pokémon can get away with cutting Pokémon, so it’s unlikely Game Freak will change course any time soon.

Now, of course, that’s one way to look at things. A negative way to be sure. It’s also possible that Game Freak can learn from issues they had with developing these games and push past them. As they get used to console development, to HD development, and get a better idea of what fans want, the next games might actually surpass all expectations. Pokémon as a franchise has always had feature creep to deal with, and Sword and Shield is clearly where it all boiled over. So maybe if they don’t have to worry about accommodating nearly 1000 critters in every single game, they can make larger strives towards higher quality. I don’t want to count them out, but at the same time, I won’t hold my breath either. I’ll always be open to what path this franchise takes, even if they stumble a bit to get there.

In the end, Sword and Shield feel more than a little rough, but there’s some real bright spots glimmering in what might be the franchise’s Darkest Day. The Pokémon themselves are still fun to use and capture, the characters and world of the games are still wholesome fun, and I’ll reiterate that pumping over 80 hours into this game didn’t feel like a chore and I was largely engaged for the entirety of that time. Here’s to hoping that brighter days lie ahead, and a few years from now we can look back at the Dexit controversy and laugh.

-B

[alternislatronemhq]

Congrats, Jenna, you have been accepted to AL for the role of Alecto Carrow (FC: Victoria Pedretti). Jenna!!! Wow, so excited that you’re picking up Alecto! She’s such a badass and I can’t wait to see her on the dash. Your biography of Alecto really draws out this character that’s so often one dimensional in this world. I think she’s going to add a lot of conflict to the gorup in the best way possible. EEp I’m PUMPED! Please send in your blog (no sideblogs for first characters, please) in the next 24 hours and be sure to take a look at our new player checklist. Welcome home (once again), we’re so excited to have you join the family!

OOC

name — jenna age — 20 pronouns — she/her timezone — gmt+10

IC Overview

name — alecto carrow age — 25 gender — cis female sexuality — bisexual patronus — non-corporeal, but it would take the form of a vulture. boggart — her brother lies dead at her feet, her parents standing above him, somehow more vicious looking than they are in reality. “it’s your fault,” they sneer, as alecto notices the blood on her hands.

IC In Depth

personality traits — ( + ) dedicated - though she may be dedicated to the wrong people and causes, Alecto is dedicated. If she decides she wants something, she will go after it with everything she had, and she won’t rest until whatever she wants is hers. Maybe it comes from the deep sense of entitlement she’s been raised with, or her insatiable need to be acknowledged and appreciated. ( + ) headstrong - Alecto has her opinions, and she won’t be swayed on them. She also will make them known, loudly, and publicly. She’s not a complete idiot, and has learnt to kept some of her more… unsavoury opinions under wraps since the end of the war, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t still believe them. ( + ) loyal - Though Alecto rarely gets close to people, those she decides she trusts have her undivided loyalty, especially to her brother. She also has a strong loyalty to the Dark Lord, still trying to find a way to bring him back even years after his defeat. ( - ) ruthless - This goes hand in hand with her dedication, Alecto will stop at nothing to get what she wants, including hurting ( or even killing ) people to get her way. ( - ) brash - She can be incredibly rude, overbearing, and obnoxious. She asserts herself over everyone and anything she believes to be beneath her, and often comes across quite poorly. ( - ) vicious - Alecto is a shark raised by sharks, you don’t grow up how she did without earning teeth of your own.

character biography —

Alecto Carrow was not a wanted child, this much has always been abundantly clear.

The marriage of Alecto’s parents was not one born of love or affection, but of duty. They both hailed from affluence, highly-regarded pureblooded families, and shared values typical of such a background. The sole purpose of their marriage was to produce an heir and perpetuate their bloodlines, nothing more, and nothing less. Only a year after their marriage, they had succeeded in this endeavour with the birth of their son, Amycus. He was exactly what they had wanted in a child; he was the perfect pureblood heir. Unfortunately, he would not be the only child the couple would sire.

Alecto was not expected. The exact nature of her conception remains elusive to this day. Some speculate that Alecto came into existence one night after her parents had a little too much to drink at one of their parties, falling into bed together before they could think about the consequences of what they were doing. They never wanted a second child, let alone a daughter, but, nine months later, they were one again at St Mungo’s awaiting Alecto’s arrival. Unlike her brother, Alecto was born screaming, demanding attention from the very moment her lungs were able to draw breath, turning her face red and angry with the effort of it. Maybe that’s where they got her name from – unceasing anger. She didn’t stop crying for almost a full day.

She was brought home from the hospital the next day and instantly thrust into the arms of awaiting nannies. To the Carrows, children weren’t something that required a lot of hands-on attention, they weren’t something to be cared for or raised carefully. They existed solely to preserve their legacy, and as long as they were capable of that, the rest of the day-to-day maintenance could be seen to by household staff. Alecto’s father had a job at the Ministry which kept him exceptionally busy, and her mother never worked, instead spending her days out fraternising with her peers and climbing up the social ladders of pureblood society. They paid little attention to Alecto, leaving her mostly neglected in her nursery, save for curious visits from her older brother, wanting to catch a glimpse of his new sibling.

The Carrow household was cruel and cold, and with their parents rarely around, Amycus and Alecto came to rely on one another. During her childhood, Alecto’s only solace was in her relationship with Amycus, despite both of them inheriting many of their parents’ less desirable qualities, the siblings had a close bond. They genuinely cared for each other, though they often had strange ways of showing it. There were few people who could truly understand the childhood that Alecto had experienced, and fewer still who could understand Alecto, but her brother has always been the closest. Alecto idolised her brother, she wanted to be just like him, and she his was the only direction she would follow without question.

Lessons for Amycus and Alecto began very early in life. Lessons on what to say, when to say it, and who to say it to. They were trained to hate anything that was different to them – and hate, Alecto would. Perhaps, had she been raised differently, she would have become a far more kind and empathetic soul, but, then again, this is perhaps a slight exaggeration. Something inside of her may have been broken from the beginning – she accepted the hate-filled ideas her parents presented her with. She accepted the prejudices, the fact that she was simply better than everyone else. That, because of the blood that ran through her veins, she deserved to have the world grovelling at her feet.

While Alecto took to her lessons of cruelty and superiority like a moth to a flame, there were other lessons she didn’t take quite so well to. For the most part, Amycus and Alecto were raised identically, but, as they grew a little older, their paths started to diverge. Amycus was the male heir, he was trained to carry the Carrow name with pride, while Alecto was taught to rid herself of it as soon as possible. Her parents intended for her to marry a nice young man ( preferably one from the shortlist of candidates they’d had picked since her birth ) as soon as she was of age – Alecto herself had different ideas.

The two years between Amycus leaving for Hogwarts and Alecto doing the same were two of the loneliest of her life. She became aware of how quiet their house was, without her brother in it. Her parents ignored her even further when Amycus wasn’t around, when she wasn’t sticking to him like gum to the bottom of a shoe. She tried her hardest to please them, but eventually realised that doing exactly what they wanted wasn’t working. So, like many neglected children, Alecto reached the conclusion that negative attention was better than no attention at all. She had always tried to tone down aspects of her personality to appease her parents, but Alecto wasn’t the porcelain doll they always wanted.

She was sent off to Hogwarts at eleven, and it was a breath of fresh air. She was sorted into Slytherin, like her brother before her, and quickly established herself within the cohort with her good looks and her strong opinions. It certainly helped her that she bore the same last name as her brother, who had already amassed a number of allies in the Slytherin dorms, simply adding his sister to his posse once she arrived. She was loud and unapologetic and gained herself a rather unsavoury reputation – but people couldn’t help but be enthralled by her. Much like at home, much of the attention was negative, but it was attention, and she would take it.

Though she always had a certain charm, a magnetism to her, Alecto never really played well with others. Her parents wanted her to be beautiful, charismatic, but submissive – capable of pleasing the sons of their friends. Submissive was the real problem. Even during her childhood, Alecto had cunning and ambition to rival the greatest of Slytherins, she was callous and brash. She met any attempts at courting from young men with a sneer, as she matured, she decided she found far greater pleasure from the physical relationship than an emotional one. Alecto was not at all like what her parents expected her to be in this regard, and they never made their displeasure a secret.

The war was something Alecto had always been ready for. Her parents had believed it was inevitable, that they would need to fight to rid the world of muggles and muggleborns once and for all, to ensure that only purebloods remained. They trained their children to believe the same. Alecto knew that she would one day need to fight, that she would be thrust into war. Her father insisted on special training to ensure she would be of use to their master – dark magic was something she became intimately familiar with when she came home for summers during her school years, training to withstand the cruciatus curse, to counter dark spells, to wield them herself.

While rumours of war that swirled around during her final years of Hogwarts set most people on edge, they simply invigorated Alecto. Amycus had already graduated, he was already doing his part, and Alecto desperately wanted to do the same. Though she had given up on winning the affections of her parents a long time ago, she wanted to please the Dark Lord, she wanted Amycus to be proud of her, and she wanted to do what she believed was the right thing. She grinned with maniacal glee as she received the dark mark – and if she saw her parents smile as she did so, she never mentioned the fact.

What she hadn’t been prepared for was losing. At the tender age of twenty, Alecto had never really known what it was to lose. On October 31st, 1981, she found out – and she didn’t like it. Nobody had anticipated that the Dark Lord would fall, least of all Alecto. Her parents immediately went into damage control, trying desperately to restore their name before the hammer fell. Their children wouldn’t be so lucky. It had been Amycus who suggested that only one of them needed to go to Azkaban – Alecto had first imagined it would be her, but Amycus took the fall for the both of them, accepting his sentence and insisting that Alecto keep herself out of it, to keep serving their master while he was away.

Not only had everything Alecto ever believed fallen apart, she’d lost her brother and her best friend, and, if his life sentence was to believed, she might not ever see him again.

Alecto had still been living with her parents at the time, but when she returned home after Amycus’ trial alone, she endured a wrath she could have only imagined up until that moment. It didn’t matter that it had been Amycus’ idea for her to walk free – they were furious that their male heir was to go away while they were given Alecto as, what? A consolation prize? Though she was fairly certain they’d calm down eventually, Alecto took the first opportunity she could to leave her parents’ house and get out on her own. She managed to secure herself a position at the Ministry, and has been doing her best to provide for herself in the years since her brother’s arrest. She may not be living the life they imagined for her, and they may vocalise their displeasure whenever she sees them, but it simply spurs Alecto on.

Alecto believes that the Lark Lord will return one day, and she intends to be the one to bring him back. She has been searching far and wide for any trace of her father, detailing her expedition in her letters to her brother. Of course, she has no idea where to begin. Her ‘search’ is more of a vague exploration, hoping against hope that she will stumble upon something. She’s trying to prove to herself, to her brother, to her parents, and to her peers, that Amycus made the right decision – that she’s better off on the outside, that by avoiding arrest, she can make use of herself and help bring back the Dark Lord. To Alecto, it’s almost like a race, and she thinks she’s vicious and scrappy enough to do what it takes.

She just hopes Amycus really did make the right decision.

plot ideas —

Amycus | Honestly, her relationship with her brother is probably the closest thing that Alecto has to a healthy relationship, and that’s saying a lot. The pair are still deeply dysfunctional - Alecto craves the validation she never received from her parents from her brother, and would literally follow him into hell. Letting him be imprisoned after the war was something that was incredibly difficult for her, so I’d love to explore how she’s been coping without her big brother’s guidance. She’s managed to get herself a fairly decent job and an apartment on her own.. did she ever really need him in the first place? I’d also love to see Amycus as a playable character in the future ( perhaps Alecto could even be involved in his breakout from Azkaban… hint hint ), to explore their dynamic properly, as well as how it has changed in the years they’ve been separated. Death Eaters | Alecto is on a quest to bring back Voldemort, and this probably isn’t a secret to anyone who she believes to be sympathetic to her cause. Of course, she doesn’t want any help because she wants the entirety of the credit for herself, but that doesn’t mean people aren’t curious about what exactly she’s doing ( please can somebody call her out on her stunning lack of progress? ). I’d also like to see her interact with some of the less loyal Death Eaters. She’s big on dedication and loyalty, and if she feels that there’s traitors in their midst, Alecto will not hesitate to make this known… or exploit it for her own gain. Ministry | Alecto works as an Obliviator for the Ministry. She’s not so stupid as to go around telling everyone that she’s an active supporter of You-Know-Who, but for anyone who was part of the Order ( or with any common sense ), it’s not hard to figure out where her loyalties lie – her brother is in Azkaban for being a Death Eater, and her parents are active pureblood supremacists. I’d like to see her trying to keep up appearances at the Ministry, interacting with former Order members or even muggleborns… how much will it take for her to crack?

extra —

mock blog / pinterest / playlist

extras that didn’t fit in the bio:

Parents. Alecto’s relationship with her parents has always been strained, however, over the last few years it has become even more so. They have made little secret of the fact that they would prefer Alecto be rotting in Azkaban than Amycus. Alecto doesn’t see them very often, and when she does, they’re trying to pressure her to marry a nice pureblood man before they’re all gone, or making her feel even worse about Amycus’ imprisonment. She still has a great deal of respect for her parents, but she knows they’ll never have a great relationship.

Residence. Alecto lives in a small apartment not far from Diagon Alley. It’s quite lavish, more than she should be able to afford with her salary, but she had considerable financial assistance when buying it… her parents couldn’t have her living on the street, could they?

Occupation. Alecto works as an Obliviator for the Ministry. She’s always been quite skilled with charms ( though she usually uses her skills for evil rather than good ), and her father had always told her that having a job at the Ministry was a good position to be in ( well, he’d said her husband should have a job at the Ministry, close enough ). She doesn’t enjoy having to interact with muggles… but she does enjoy robbing them of their memories.

Romance. Alecto isn’t one for commitment, but she learnt young that her looks were a powerful weapon, and one she wields expertly. She likes to toy with people, and she’s not fussed about anything so trivial as gender ( blood status is the only thing that matters to her ). She’s never considered herself bisexual, much less put a public label on it, but if she gave it any thought, that’s probably the conclusion she’d arrive at. She’s never told her parents about her relationships with women, and has no intention to.