#this is somewhat very personal but it's ok to reblog and interact with

[unreadpoppy]

Buddy

Cousland Warden x Alistair (but the real focus is on Dog).

TW: death of animal

Summary: Ten years after the Fifth Blight ended, Anneliese must make a decision in regards to her mabari.

Read on AO3

Per royal custom, Anneliese and Alistair did not share a room. That did not mean, however, that the queen slept alone. Laying near her feet, Anneliese’s loyal mabari, Buddy, would be found. 

When she was young, her mother would have never permitted such a thing, though, on particularly bad nights, she would sneak the dog in and cuddle him until morning. 

“You can’t let him sleep here” her mother would say “you’ll get him badly accustomed to it. Look at the mess he made of your bed, Anneliese!” 

But those days were long in the past and now, Buddy slept with Anneliese every night, curling into a ball at her feet.

Buddy had a tendency to move around a lot and scratch himself before finally settling down and sleeping. He faintly snored as he slept, and although that would have bothered others, Anneliese was used to the sound. It reminded her that he was there, that she wasn’t alone. Even during the Blight, sleeping next to him brought an odd sense of comfort that only a dog could provide. 

So when she heard the sound of heavy breathing, Anneliese immediately woke up. 

At first, still half asleep, she thought it could be some assassin in her room. But soon, she noticed the sound came from Buddy. Instead of curled up, he was splayed around, his mouth open as he struggled to breathe. 

“Buddy?” She whispered, putting a hand on his head. He seemed tired, not even lifting his head. She put her head on his chest, and although she did not have medical expertise, it did not sound good. 

Unsure of what to do, Anneliese lifted the dog in her arms and ran to Alistair’s room. 

. 

Alistair woke up with the sound of his door breaking down and his wife calling for his name. Without thinking, he shot up from the bed and grabbed a nearby sword, ready to spring into action. 

“Are we being attacked?” He asked and only then realized that Anneliese was on the ground, with Buddy in her lap. He put his sword to the side and knelt beside her. “What’s happening?” 

“I don’t know.” She said, and he could hear the worry in her voice. “I woke up and he was struggling to breathe and he looked so weak. I don’t know what’s wrong with him.” Anneliese looked at him, a few tears running down. “I didn’t know what to do.” 

Alistair took a deep breath, turning his attention to the dog. “Hey, Buddy.” He said, petting the mabari’s head. “Are you feeling alright?” 

Buddy whined and sucked in a breath, and it was Alistair’s turn to worry. He remembered the sick mabari hounds at Ostagar, the ones who died of the Blight, and how weak they looked, laying on the ground, whining in pain and struggling to breathe. 

“Alistair…” His wife said, after a moment of silence. 

“You stay here. I’ll go fetch someone.” He said, beginning to stand up. “And you-” he looked at Buddy “you stay strong.” 

.

30 minutes had passed when Alistair came back, followed by the kennel master.

He examined Buddy and soon, he said “I believe I know what the problem is.” He turned to Anneliese. “Your Majesty, how long have you had this mabari?”

“I don’t remember the exact age, but maybe since I was ten or eleven. Why?” She asked, but she knew what he was going to say next. 

The kennel master took a deep breath. “May I speak bluntly?” He asked and both Anneliese and Alistair nodded. “He is dying of old age. Just as we humans wither away, his body can no longer keep going on. This is why he is struggling to breathe. I am sorry.” 

Anneliese took a deep breath, petting Buddy as he whined in her lap, seemingly aware of his condition. “Is he in pain?” 

“He is most likely uncomfortable, yes.” 

“Is there anything we can do to soothe it?” Alistair asked, his voice slightly cracking. 

“There are a few herbs that might deal with the pain but there is something I’d like to suggest. I cannot predict how much longer your hound has, Your Majesty, but there are some herbs that can…speed up the process.”

“You mean to poison the dog?” Alistair said. 

“No. These are not poisonous, but they would put him to sleep and eventually stop his heart.”

“So just like poison.”

“Alistair.” Anneliese huffed and he shut his mouth. She turned to the kennel master, trying to keep her voice still. “Would that…hurt him?”

“No, Your Majesty. I guarantee, it is completely painless. A quick and painless death.” 

She closed her eyes and she brought her forehead to Buddy’s. She felt Alistair crouch down next to her, and rub her back as she whispered to her dog. 

“Oh Buddy, I don’t wanna lose you too…but I can’t stand to watch you suffer.” Tears streamed down her face as she continued. “Will you forgive me if I let you go?” 

With more effort than normal, Buddy lifted his head from her lap to lick her cheeks, bringing a small chuckle from her, but also an answer. She looked to the kennel master. 

“Do it.” 

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” Alistair whispered, putting a hand on her shoulder. 

She grabbed his hand, squeezing it and shaking her head. “I don’t want to. But it’s the kinder option.” She turned to the kennel master. “I just ask...let me have one final night with him. We’ll do it in the morning.” 

He nodded and stood up. “Of course.” 

After he left, Anneliese picked up Buddy once again, and placed him in Alistair’s bed before joining him. She held him close to her, and the mabari was content to let her do so, even if it meant her crying in his fur. Alistair laid behind her, his chest to her back, as he held her too, petting her hair and trying to soothe her. 

In the end, neither got much sleep. 

. 

When morning came, everything moved quickly. 

Soon, Buddy was by the Maker’s side. They decided to bury him, next to a large tree in the garden where he liked to sit underneath. 

Anneliese had cried more than Alistair had ever seen her cry before that day. For the few days, she barely spoke to anyone, keeping more to her room. It was only a week later that Alistair found her sitting on the bench that faced that tree, and he noticed she was embroidering something. 

He said nothing as he sat besides her. 

“Mother didn’t want him at first.” Anneliese said, not looking at him. “But I had asked father for a dog, and of course he was going to give me one. It took some convincing, but she eventually allowed it, on the condition that I would train him.” 

She sniffed and then continued. “We used to run around the castle, and when father taught me to fight, Buddy would spar with me.” She shook her head and the beginning of a smile formed on her lips. “I remember Fergus teasing me about the name. He’s a mabari war hound, you can’t call him ‘Buddy’, he said. But I was a ten year old girl, so of course I was going to name my dog something like that.” 

Alistair chuckled. “When we were in Ostagar, I kept thinking that if I managed to bond with one of the mabari there, I’d name him Barkspawn.” That got a laugh out of Anneliese. “So I think Buddy is better.” 

“If we ever have children, remind me to let you pick the name.” She jested and shook her head. 

“But he was that. He was my best friend. He was there for everything. I thought he was all I had left of my family, he helped us end the Blight and train the new Wardens. I can’t believe he’s gone.” She took a deep breath, as she covered her eyes with her hand, tears running down. 

Alistair hugged her and she clung to him, sobbing into his chest before looking at him. “I don’t know if I did the right thing. In letting him go.” 

Alistair looked at his wife, and he thought for a moment on what to say. 

“A long time ago, someone once told me that there would be decisions in our life that had no good outcome. That no matter what we did, we couldn’t save everyone but we could try to choose the least worst option.” 

She knew what he was talking about. it was what she told him after they left Redcliff, when Alistair confronted her about killing Connor. She did not expect for him to remember it after so long, even less for him to say it to her. 

“Either Buddy was going to die a slow and painful death, that we could never predict when would happen, or we could put him to sleep, granting him more mercy than other dogs near death.” He referred to the mabari at Ostagar, whom the kennel master put down after they couldn’t be cured of the Blight. But back then, the method had been more bloody.

He wiped a few tears from her face, his finger lightly tracing the scar on her face, as she took a few deep breaths. 

“He would have died either way.” She whispered and turned her head towards the tree. “I hope he forgives me.” 

“He was a smart dog. I think he understood.” She nodded to what he said. “Maker, sometimes I think he was too smart. Maybe he was just some guy turned into a dog by some witch like Morrigan.” 

Anneliese laughed at his silliness. “You think Morrigan would do that?”

“Think? Oh, I’m certain she has done so before. She kept threatening to turn me into a frog half the time we were camping.” 

“She wouldn’t have done so.” 

“You always put too much trust in her.”

“Even if she tried, I wouldn’t have let her.” Anneliese kissed his cheek and placed her head on his shoulder, bringing up the embroidery she had been working on before he arrived. “It’s not done yet, but it’s almost there.” 

On the fabric, Anneliese had done the silhouette of a dog, and was in the process of filling it up. Underneath that, there was the phrase ‘Buddy - Loyal hound and friend.’ 

“When did you begin this?” 

“The day after Buddy died. I needed to stab something, to put the pain somewhere else.” 

“It looks lovely.” He handled her work back to her. 

“Thank you.” She placed it on the bench, before standing up and walking to the tree. She touched the bark and looked to the ground. “Oh Buddy…I hope you’re running around mother and father and Oren and Orianna.” She said the name of her deceased family members. “And when my time comes, I know you’ll be there to see me.” 

She walked back to Alistair and hand in hand, the two walked back to the castle. 

Even years after his death, Anneliese would remember Buddy how he had been: playful, loyal, strong. She’d always remember him sitting by her bed, putting his head on her lap or when he begged for food she couldn’t give him. 

Buddy had been almost 20 years old when he passed, a very long age for his breed, and he had been the best dog any girl could have asked for.

.

A/N: Two weeks ago, we had to put one of my dogs, Malta, to sleep. She was 8 years old and she was fighting both melanoma and tick disease and we didn't want her to suffer further. She was the best girl in the world and I'm still dealing with this grief and I wrote this to try and help it a bit. It's not perfect, and I don't know if it helped a hundred percent but I needed to put some of pain somewhere else.

[call-me-chips]

Introduction!

Sup, I'm Chips. I do art, headcanons, and reblogging things I like :)

Please give me asks. About anything. Anytime. It can be a request, an ask, a thought, whatever. I am almost always bored. If you have something on your mind, talk to me :) (Just pls don't be spamming my inbox)

Rules about both sketch and headcanon requests below

More info about me:

What I look like:

(I think the first one is the most accurate, minus eye colour)

Sexuality: Lesbian

Gender: Agender

Pronouns: They/them (Also ok with he/him)

MBTI: INTP-T

Zodiac: Gemini (May 24th)

Fandoms: Bnha/Mha, Kny, Spy x Family, B99, Tadc, Fnaf, Toh, Helluva and Hazbin, Star Wars, Lackadaisy, Sonic, Zelda, Marvel, the Renegades trilogy, Dsmp somewhat, Zeyn_Syre, Taom, and I know I'm missing at least one more but oh well

Likes: Women, art, music/singing, cosplay, cats, guns, kpop, photography, formal outfits

Dislikes: Peanut butter, olives, mushrooms, bananas, eggplants, the government, any kind of nuts, iced tea

This is my blog of art stuffs! I post about my own art, as well as others' art and any other interests of mine. I am very gay, so expect what I post/reblog to follow suit.

Some little rules/things to know about my blog:

● BE NICE.

● I don't draw/interact with NSFW stuff, as I know there are minors on here and want this to be a safe place for everyone, so please keep that in mind

● I consider myself to be a christ follower. However, due to personal stuffs, please refrain from talking about God/Jesus/Bible things here

● I may post about religious things tho, but likely not

● I may also post more vent related things that could touch on topics such as toxic family, su1c1dal thoughts, etc., so if you would not like to see that, I will try my best to label all vent things as #chipsvents so you can block it :)

● Sometimes I hide little secrets or fun facts about myself in the tags of some of my my posts 🤭

Rules about sketch requests:

● The sketch requests are to cure my boredom/practice and improve my art skills, so they are free

● Don't request anything too specific. I obv won't be able to recreate the exact pose you have envisioned the character in, so just suggest the character and I'll handle posing

● Anyone can send requests

● Will only do 1-2 characters per page, but I may make an exception if the characters are small

● All characters are allowed, minus characters from adult shows/movies, such as Hazbin Hotel or Helluva Boss

● I can draw Ocs, so long as 1 or more reference photos are provided

● BEWARE, if you don't want your request to look like crap, I recommend not sending in Sonic characters (or just animals in general). I will still try to draw in Sonic's style if you ask, but you have been warned

● Be prepared for the request to take a few days to complete. I'm slow, sorry lol

Rules about headcanon requests:

● Fandoms I will do headcanons for: Bnha/Mha, Kny, Sxf, B99, Tadc, Fnaf, Toh, Helluva and Hazbin, Lackadaisy, Sonic, Marvel, the Renegades trilogy, Zeyn_Syre

● IF YOU WANT A KNY HEADCANON, please keep in mind that I haven't watched the anime yet, so maybe ask for more common/popular characters

● I will not do headcanons for Tengen Uzui. (I've done him twice already, and both of those were a STRUGGLE. If you wanna see the two I've done, search "kny headcanons" in my blog and scroll till you find it :))

● If you give me a character from a fandom I don't know, it will be a nonsense headcanon, where I will put their name into a random generator and give you the headcanon given

Tags for sorting (might forget to use em tho)

● chipsdraws (Art)

● chipsvents (Vents/sensitive topics)

● askchips (Asks)

● chipsappreciates (Character appreciation posts)

● chipsvsgod (God/bible stuffs)

● I fucking hate my rib (rants/updates on my rib)

● Headcanon reblog (My mha headcanon reblog chain)

● Random shit (Self explanatory)

[thehonoredwon]

Rules

Interacting -As a matter of personal preference I would prefer to keep my interactions limited to writers who are at least 21 years old. -I don’t mind if personals follow me, but please don’t reblog any of my threads or ooc posts. If it happens more than once you will be hard blocked. Any moodboards, music posts, etc are all up for grabs though. Go wild. -Please don’t follow me if you are under 18. Minors will be soft blocked the first time. a second time will result in a hard block. -I’m somewhat selective when it comes to writing partners and will be sticking to mutuals only for now. -I’m VERY selective with OCs. If there isn’t some kind of biography or profile for your character, I’m not likely to follow back. -Duplicates are great. I love seeing different takes on a character! -I’m relatively flexible with writing style, but lean more towards literate multi-paragraph. Around 3-5 paragraphs is my sweet spot. Length-matching is not required. -Please don’t hassle me for replies. While  I do my best to stay on top of responses, they will not always be instantaneous. I have a full time job and full time anxiety so a measure of patience is appreciated. -Feel free to reblog my asks, but. I won’t reblog yours unless your rules explicitly state that it’s ok. -No Drama. None. Plotting -I like plot heavy threads and love coming up with in-depth plots and headcanons. Never be afraid to come to me with your ideas! -I’m not a huge fan of fluff or slice of life threads on their own. Don’t get me wrong, I love feel-good content, but unless it’s part of a bigger story, the cutesy stuff will lose my interest pretty quickly.

Shipping and NSFW -First and foremost, I will NOT write sexual content of any kind with minors or about minors. -I won’t write smut scenes with muns under 21 period. -Multi-ship friendly. This will be based on chemistry and will never assume a romantic relationship between our characters. If you are interested in shipping with Gojo, I am always happy to discuss it ooc. -When it comes to sexual themes, I prefer there to be some kind of discussion beforehand. Like fluff, I’m not really into smut without a plot. Of course there is the occasional exception so, again, hit me up if you’d like to discuss it. -Threads that do begin to take a nsfw turn will be tagged and under a read more. I’d prefer to take any explicit scenes to Discord or some other platform. Other Content Warnings -Canon typical violence and darker themes will be present on this blog. I am pretty good about tagging potential triggers but if there is anything I’ve missed please dm me and I’ll be sure to update accordingly. All I ask is that you not be a dick about it. -I will try and keep organized tags for all my other content in order to keep a tidy dash for everyone.

Mun is 33, They/Them preferred, any pronouns acceptable

NOT SPOILER FREE

[ghostbrawl]

sent the 🐯 - nono the thing is i do know you!! youre not a stranger im just... sometimes i get spooked off, from interacting so much. because sometimes i think people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset :( and thats got nothin to do with you, you didnt do anything wrong. its me with my stupid thoughts and shit. i think youre really cool and i love your art and style and you seem so confident and dont give a shit about a lot of things. im intimidated by that

tried to answer this one privately and realized i couldn't because its an anon ask haha .. welp! i still want you to hear my input on this one so it's just going to be no reblog.

i'm going to put my response under the cut though for the sake of people's dashboards and because it's somewhat mushy. continue if you dare, followers - i'll be talking in depth about, like, emotions an shit.

so i sat on this ask for a while and really rolled it around my enclosure a little bit. full disclosure i need to just say for a long time i also felt this way - by that i mean feeling as though [people just hate me and only keep me around as to not make me upset] - for various reasons.

one reason was that i had experienced real world examples of this sort of coddling many times - people online and in real life would often entertain me to my face and talk about me behind my back, mostly until i got too annoying to bear and was openly lashed out at or shunned. most of these incidents occurred when i was 16 or younger, to be fair, but they did make a mark on me.

another reason was just anxiety - if i didn't know exactly what the people around me thought, it would be safe to say those thoughts were bad. it would've verified what i thought about myself- and assuming those people already hated me allowed me to empathize with the versions of my loved ones that i created in my head. i often mourned the fact that they had to deal with me before i even knew whether they were annoyed or not.

these were the two main reasons why i often felt like people hated me, but i'm sure there were more.

i don't have an EXACT read on who you are anon, though i feel like i have an idea (you don't have to tell me, but if you'd like, reach out and send me a dm) - but personally, if we know each other, and i've not yelled at you or blocked you or told you not to talk to me, there's an incredibly decent chance (99%) that i neither hate you nor think you're annoying.

if you're my next door neighbor from two years ago, i take that back. but if you aren't, keep reading!

other than in my deepest darkest worst moments, i've pretty much trained myself out of the kneejerk assumption that my friends and loved ones hate me. i'll try not to sound preachy when i talk about why, but trust me when i say i have a point here in talking about it.

anyway - here's how i stopped doing that.

#1 - i started to model my own understandings of people's attitudes toward others based on my own attitudes.

ok i know that sounds weird or isn't very easy to understand so let me just give an example.

a technique i used a lot was just thinking through how, when, and why i liked or loved my friends. i loved my friends because they have similar interests to me, because of the history we had together, because it was easy to communicate with them, because i loved their minds and ideas, because they enriched my life (even when i didn't talk to them as much), because i was excited to hear from them + learn about their life, because i cared about them and didn't want to see them sick or hurt, because they were fun to hang out with, etc. etc etc.

then, i'd think about how i felt when one of my friends messed up, was irritating, annoying, or made me angry in some way. depending on how egregious the ill was, i reacted anywhere from pretty much none at all (for most irritations or annoyances) - to 'angry in the moment, it fades later' (for high stress situations in which i had no excuses for that friend) - to 'we seriously need to work this out' (for ongoing situations in which i was building up the strength to address).

most of the time, the irritations i encountered fell into the first category. many times i couldn't even be annoyed - i loved those friends so much that it didn't even matter, either in the very second the irritation happened or in the grand scheme of things.

in the few moments that i encountered more grave irritations such as those in the last category, what usually would happen is either that me and the other person sorted out our grievances and both agreed to change our behavior, or we parted ways.... and many of the friends i parted ways with i found wanting their company again and reconnected with them.

in evaluating myself in the context of my friends, though i can never know how, when, or why my friends love me, i know for relative certainty that when i am irritating or annoying to them, it is incidental and fades just as quickly for them as it fades for me. my friends will never be as concerned with my small flaws and ills as i am - it simply doesn't affect them nearly as much as it affects me.

^ this idea is doubly true for acquaintances and people you don't know as well as to say "friends" -- at the acquaintance level people can choose whether to get closer or to drift, factoring in time, interest, hyperfixation, location, their jobs, etc.

but this first technique only worked when i had the self-esteem to internalize the fact that other people's inner worlds were both just as complex as mine (holding complex feelings about oneself and each other) and just as simple as mine (annoyed or not? and for how long? etc)!

so another thing that really helped me was

#2 - faking confidence until i could build it properly.

i know everyone says this shit and it seems so ineffectual when it feels much more grounded and real to be cynical, to be anxious and upset with oneself.

and in many senses, it IS ineffectual - immediately. faking confidence is something that only works over years of doing it, and in faking your confidence you must also identify very real parts of yourself to be Actual Confident(tm) about and work toward feeling that way for real.

faking confidence is the sandbox where i, personally, found actual things to be proud of myself for within. when i faked confidence in my voice, way of thinking, my art, and my personality, i eventually found actual things to like in each of those aspects of myself based on how people reacted to that "front" of confidence i put up about those aspects of myself.

for a while i faced an awkward phase where my faked confidence was so intense that it manifested as arrogance and aggression toward others -- avoid this if you can . facepalm emoji.

but in presenting myself as somebody who was equal (or even greater) than other people in social situations i was in, other people pointed out things to be praised about me.

at first i'd be skeptical, but i'd keep it in the back of my mind. but over time, i'd see over and over the success of those parts of myself in social situations, artistic circles, athletic contexts, etc, and start to think "maybe i am good at [x]" or "maybe [personality trait] about me is helpful and cool", and on and on and on.

confidence and self-like is a process that builds on itself and gets easier over time. the second i began to question whether traits i had were really harmful or bad, the more i started to see reinforcing evidence of the contrary; of them being productive, healthy, interesting, worth having rather than destroying.

and the further you progress in this avenue, the easier it is to #not give a shit about things - or to respond less to attacks on the psyche or personality.

and when i reinforced + gained a respect for the parts of myself i once hated, it became easier to believe that others could admire me as much i admired them - that others could brush off my shortcomings as easily as i brushed off theirs.

recently, i hate to admit, i've had to start this process of loving myself all over again as i've started to experience a major personality shift brought on by gaining different + new responsibilities in my life. i respond differently to new circumstances so many times that i'm becoming somebody different - somebody i'm not yet prepared to love. somebody that i'm much more inclined to loathe, because i've seen the effects of my new personality traits on myself and others; not in observing my own actions, but in observing the actions of people in my life with the same personality traits such as my family.

so for now my confidence in a lot of situations is much shakier than it used to be - but the foundations i created back when are still there. when i don't believe in myself or punch down on myself i can keep it relatively contained internally and not project it onto others - or if i can't avoid projecting it, i at least understand on some level that i'm being unreasonable... and i can still keep that outward confident look pretty seamlessly while working out new insecurities from within.

trust me - i give a lot of shits, and so does every other confident person you know. we just keep it to ourselves - not to say that keeping it to oneself is inherently better, but it just helps to keep oneself from spiraling into deeper and deeper self hatred. keeping that hate on the down-low keeps it from gaining significant power.

in terms of being intimidated by other confident people....

i have nothing really to say about that. i think it's something that both affirms and worries the confident person in question - to be intimidating is to be slick and cool and impenetrable. but to be intimidating is also to be impenetrable (/neg) - impossible to see the inner life of through that glare of coolness or confidence. i guess its a double edged sword, i dunno.

but i think it gets easier to see even the intimidatingly cool as dorky, regular people when you recognize that pretty much everyone has or had crappy self image at one point. people are less intimidating when you allow the idea that they too, are people who fuck up, who go through things, who break down, who hate themselves, and who are just trying their best to seem like somebody lovable and worthwhile. and do that in order to CHASE interactions with others - and that wanting those interactions doesn't reflect badly on you or them.

but idk. i get it if u don't wanna read all that.

TLDR: ur thoughts aren't stupid and we've all been there. and i'm just some tumblr user on the internet it's really not so serious or scary. i post incessantly about robot sex and wizards instead of getting groceries. and everyone is just as stupid and dorky as the worst person you know and that's totally fine.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Another thing that took me a while to get used to is figuring out who to follow and who to not follow. This is probably more straightforward when you follow your friends onto a platform, but I came here on my own and only knew about a couple bloggers, none of whom were personal friends, so I was kinda blown about by the site’s recommendations in terms of finding new blogs to follow at first. (You don’t have to do that, other ways to find people include looking at blogs you already follow and see who they reblog from, and searching the tags for subjects that interest you, whether that’s a fandom thing or an identity thing or something else. The problem with the second one is a lot of the best bloggers don’t tag their work.)

If you follow some bloggers who posts a lot, like say compassionate reminders or the shitpost calligrapher, and some bloggers who post rarely, you’re going to see a lot more posts from the frequent bloggers. There’s a way to create a “favorites” list, but mostly I recommend not exclusively interacting with tumblr via your dash. You can also (in addition to using the somewhat unreliable search feature) find a blogger who’s said some things you like/posted cool fic/whatever, and go through their archive. (On some sites this comes across as stalker-y; with tumblr it’s often ok, although if someone has a more personal life focused blog use your judgement. If it’s primarily politics or fandom content, knock yourself out.) Some people like being able to clear their dash regularly and some like an endless stream even if that means missing things, pick your strategy.

When deciding whether to interact (reply, reblog with comments, direct message — direct message is the most likely to be seen as crossing a boundary) you should consider whether the person/people you’re interacting with will probably appreciate the interaction, and, if not, whether it’s worth having a fight over. Often it’s best to let things slide, and maybe consider whether you really want to follow the person. Some blogs are very prone to fighting and you get to decide whether you want that or not. Also some blogs are guilt-trippy (chain letters or telling you you have to reblog certain posts) and if you don’t like that you get to avoid them.

I’m going to pass on the advice to turn off anonymous messages. I’ve had like one ok one, when they were on, and a lot of aggressive fighty ones and the ocasional suicide bait. I assume most people don’t use anonymous messaging that way, but it only takes a few assholes to ruin things for everyone else. I’ve also seen people have anon off most of the time but turn it on for short periods for specific sorts of interaction.

If you get in a fight with someone and disengaging isn’t enough to end it it’s perfectly fine to block them. You don’t owe internet strangers an explanation for your positions. You can just have them. (Yes, even if the other person is pulling out social justice language, a lot of the bullies do that, and it’s usually terrible reasoning and basically just an excuse to be maximally jerky.)

if you’re a new tumblr user from tiktok or IG or something and only like posts and dont reblog them yeah people will think you’re a bot and block you but you will also make this website actively worse. they want “algorithmic” users like you, served recommended posts through likes, not people who just follow each other and respond to the direct chronological feed. there is a reason this website is still better than the rest, even with all its problems, do not ruin this

[mindrole]

Yo, I somewhat lurk your blog because you make very fun and interesting posts!! Your takes are nice to read and your art is very nice; I simply avoid to reblog because I had this...vibe? I guess? That you wanted your posts to remain a little more hidden away.

That doesn't change the fact that I surely can't be the only one who lurks but certainly loves your work!!!

first of all, thank you for the kind words!!

tbh i kind of just rattled the post off and went to do stuff so i forgot about it, i didn't expect a response, so im super flattered!! (and a little embarassed, perhaps bashful)

its quite kind of you to send this...

the issue of reblogs: i dont mind at all!! as you may have noticed there are two or three posts i have locked reblogs for.. those are obviously NG (mostly either "my interpretation changed drastically so im disowning it" or "ill go back and fix it (<-art)") but everything else is A-OK ❤️ if i don't want something to be reblogged i will lock it. (usually i will leave in the tags or edit the post with the reason)

i love when my stuff is shared around!! and getting nice nonnies like you is always a lot of fun. to be honest i think because those dried up for a while i got a stir crazy

really i'm like, a very sociable person, i like to bounce ideas off of others even if its indirect and even i get really neurotic about stuff. so i read every tag and interaction with a big goofy smile on my face. i like feeling seen, and most people would not disagree that it's nice. so it's like this... i am... a huge geek

i want to be less sheepish about posting in the main tag too. the initial bad experience i had (and caused myself, i don't wanna deny that) can't really be helped anymore, but eventually i wanna be brave about it. i wanna shake off the weird mindset of "i've already ruined my shot so i should stop posting in the tag, everyone probably already has a big ❌️ on me anyway." (if someone doesn't want to see my stuff they probably already have me blocked... so its fine!!! or they can just scroll past. im not taking up any space i shouldn't. i have to learn this!!!)

there are a lot of things i don't tag because either i'm afraid my sense of humor is too esoteric and/or mean spirited or because it is a junk doodle (not in a self deprecating way, its just not something i wanna put in the tag). also cuz i post a lot, it is kind of spam-y. recently i got an ask asking why i hate httr... of course i don't!!! but i love making fun of that baby man so much. so im also wary of maybe, i might upset someone without that context and they think i'm openly posting character hate. that kind of thing, i worry TOO much

(don't worry, that ask was really funny, even if it scrambled my brain a bit)

i think a lot of people who might enjoy the blog also may bounce after reading my pinned and seeing that i don't tag spoilers. that's ok, i hope someone translates the interlude soon because somehow even in its short duration i love it a lot. com is coming out soon too!!! eventually the stock of those characters will rise and they will gain more fans and they will come across my blog and go, woah, this crazy person drew so much art prerelease!!!!. azuma's stock... will also rise!!!

at the end of the day my philosophy is that fan works are things we share out of love and passion, loving the works of others and making are like a symbiotic relationship, one cannot exist without the other. seeing other people's stuff makes me wanna make too. that kind of thing. this applies to both fan work and original work actually.

sorry you got subjected to my mentally ill ramble... im really thankful to have gotten this ask genuinely.. it super made my day

i hope you continue to enjoy the blog ^^

[faggo-tron-prime]

I know what i reblog on here but I'm honestly a bit tired of only seeing fit/body builder type guys. I want to see more average guys, guys with muffin tops, guys with chunk, skinny guys and fat guys feeling themselves and flaunting what they've got. It's so monotone and boring now. And everything looks semi-professional and like products instead of art or a private moment shared. I don't dare posting stuff on Twitter cause it's so saturated and it feels like there's expectations to something that's so private and can be so personal - and this feeling is kind of seeping into nsfw tumblr content too. Especially when some of the few porn/lewd blogs that survive moderation here focusing on men are almost exclusively posting uncredited pics often taken from Twitter.

If there is focus on bodies diverging from twunks that think they're twinks with big asses, jocks, or muscle bears it's almost always some shit like feeder/gainers or diaper fetish blogs. Not berating kinks or people for having these kinks, but as someone who's been working to lose weight and accept my own body it's personally grating to only see any appreciation for similar body types to mine, or previously similar ones, are extremes exclusively showed in a fetish setting where it's also common to see degrading comments or strange warped views of what constitutes to "thicc/fat/chunky/dadbod" type bodies. Not to say that the gainers i see on here seem do an incredibly fucked up and dangerous deviation of body builder bulk season diets with the intent of getting fat as fast as possible.

I know some of my issues here are where i look, but it's also that there aren't many other places to look. And I'm not particularly enjoying that everything has to be so extreme one way or another. I'm tempted to cut the rising popularity of feeder/gainer blogs is a counter culture to the fit/lean hunk machine culture i mentioned earlier. And that social media is incapable of nuance because it's shaped by user interactions/algorithms that further push extremes in these detrimental positive feedback loops.

I'm just tired and disenfranchised with the state of things. My sense of worth and body image is mostly removed from social media engagement and trends now, but it's still affected by it. My own body type isn't wholly within my body type preferences (if i can even call it that) and that i accept and are ok with. But i keep catching myself thinking "yeah i look good, I'm a snack! Who wouldn't want me??" And then immediately brush off any compliment or advance on me. Like. "Yeah i look good, but not that good. Why do you think you want me, silly?" And i can say with confidence it is in part that there's very little popularity online for varied and "average" body types i.e a bit big, somewhat small, a little soft, a little hard - without it immediately being followed by either a "progress update: omg i can't believe i used to be so XYZ then!?" Or sort of mourning and self-begrudging selfberatement over not having achieved this feat.

I'm sad and frustrated. I'm discontent with just about the whole goddamn thing.

[burning-sol]

I know more additions will be made to the post later but for now everything is transcribed under the cut. Sorry if I made any errors! (If someone wants to tag me when new additions are made I'll do my best to transcribe everything!! I know this isn't a lot but I hope it's somewhat helpful.)

The DMs:

edenfenixblogs: Hello friend! In the interest of Jewish Muslim solidarity, I want to try an experiment! Would you be interested in participating with me? It's ok if not! I can definitely still do the experiment alone, but I would like to highlight Islamophobia as well as antisemitism. So I thought I'd ask if you're up for it. I just made a post with this exact text: I am experiencing a lot of antisemitism due to the ongoing conflict and I would like it to stop, please. And the tags: antisemitism #leftist antisemitism #i/p #i/p conflict #israel #palestine In one week, I would like to check my replies/reblogs/tags/notes and see what kind of messages I have received. My hypothesis is that I will receive some hate and some support and relatively low engagement. If you would be willing, I'd like to see what happens if you posted this exact text: (Only if it is true to your experience and you feel uncomfortable of course!!!) I am experiencing a lot of Islamophobia due to the ongoing conflict and I would like it to stop, please. And the tags: #islamophobia #i/p #i/p conflict #israel #palestine My hypotheosis is that you will receive more engagement and more support but probably more hatred. I want to be very clear: I do not want to ask anything of you that is uncomfortable with any aspect of this, please do not feel pressured in any way to say yes if you feel this would be inappropriate or generally upsetting to your mental health. If you'd like to participate, but are worried about the toll it would take on your mental health, you could make the post and immediately mute any notifications about it.

thatmuslimlady: Sure, I could do that

edenfenixblogs: My goal with this post is to highlight both knee jerk reactions from bigots as well as levels of support and apathy that diasporic Jews and worldwide Muslims are experiencing. For the whole week, I would ignore any replies or reblogs or tags or clearly related asks I get. At the end of the week I would screenshot all of the replies and post them in a reblog of my original post. Then I plan to discuss how apathy, violent support, and virulent hatred on all sides is hampering peace. I just want to talk about how to be a goood ally. You're a hero!!!!!! I would do the same for your post btw. I don't want to burden you at all or ask anything of you other than to make the post. 💜💜💜💜

thatmuslimlady: No problem!! You're a really cool person so I figured I'd do it 👍

edenfenixblogs: You're the coolest person on this whole site! It's 3am so imma sleep. Salaam aleikum!!!!!!!

thatmuslimlady: Aww thank you! It's four am for me lol. I just woke up like five minutes ago

edenfenixblogs: Hi friend! I'm planning on making the post about our little experiment later tonight. I've been monitoring your post itself for Islamophobic reactions, so I don't need you to look at that at all if you don't want! But as of the moment I'm sending this message, I have not seen anything but support on yours, which makes me very happy indeed. Have you received any hate messages in your inbox since last week? Any support messages?

thatmuslimlady: I've received support thankfully, no hate so far

edenfenixblogs: 💜

thatmuslimlady's post interactions:

reply 1: ooof that really sucks. unfortunately i don't know if there's any substantial way i can help but sending emotional support <3

reply 2: I am so sorry that you are dealing with that. I pray for peace and safety for you and your community.

reply 3: Shit sucks so bad. <3

reply 4: My heart is with you.

reply 5: I hope you have support to get through this

reply 6: We need more Jewish-Muslim solidarity. It's so messed up that lots of us (both Jewish and Muslim) are just minding our own business trying to exist in the diaspora and getting harassed by (mostly) white Christians. I've have so many convos w Muslims friends about how the majority of the people making our lives hard are not even adjacent to the I/P conflict. I have a friend who has stopped wearing a hijab and my sister took down her mezuzah. We are all living in fear.

reblog 1: #let me know if i am using islamophobic language

reblog 2: #fuck islamophobia #Muslims and Jews are cousins

reblog 3: #i can go in the notes of the offender and talk mad shit if that is needed

reblog 4: We gotta stand together!

reblog 5: Seconded! Leave Muslims alone. They're not to blame for this conflict and they've been through enough. if you blame someone for a crime because they're the same religion you're a bigot. #end of story. #leave Muslims alone #islamophobia

reblog 6: #op I am hugging you #please let me know if you'd ever like back-up #especially if this is coming from Jews - I am not afraid to issue some tochecha 👍 #< prev tag #but I whole heartedly agree

reblog 7: @ thatmuslimlady I'm here if you need asses kicked. I should mention my work shoes are steel toes.

reblog 8: #i dont reblog enough about this. #i've been reblogging about antisemitism #but islamophobia is also incredibly prevelent right now and im sure its really bad in the usa rn as well #sending all my love to muslims suffering…

reblog 9: Actually no, this belongs in the maintext: OP and any other Muslim followers, if you need back up, let me know. This is not okay and you should know that I am ready and happy to show up for you. This goes double for if this is coming from Jews or people claiming to be our allies - Islamophobia is not the answer to antisemitism, it's not helping us, and I will gladly inform anyone who needs to hear it of that. 🙂

reblog 10: ^^ What [redacted] said, feel free to message me as well

reblog 11: #islamophobia #don't be awful to each other

reblog 12: #yeah neither Islamophobia or anti-semitism is ever a solution to anything #nor should it happen in the first place! #solidarity forever

reblog 13: #islamophobia #i will deadass fight anyone actually #let us know and we'll pull up #and on a serious note op i am sending you strength and courage to deal with the bigots <3 #(not to say my offer to fight isn't serious. lmk who…

Reply from @ arabian-knight: Zionist blow your brains out

Reblog 2: The Jewish Experience

screenshot 1: #i/p #leftist antisemitism #antisemitism #jumbler #I've stopped talking about my feelings with ayone #because I'm so afraid it will push my friends away #at first I talked about it a lot but after a while I felt like I was bothering them by harping on it too much #idk if I actually was because my friends are really understanding #but it *felt* like I was #so I've basically just been pretending I'm completely fine ever since #and I'm really really not

screenshot 2: Leftist antisemitism is so insidious It is intentionally constructed so people cannot acknowledge that it is in fact antisemitism It dresses up decades-to-millennia old anti-Jewish propaganda and conspiracies in progressive language It does not allowed Jewish people to define antisemitism It leaves no room for nuance where nuance is vital It reduces complex history and an even more complex geopolitical conflict into a litmus test It sorts Jews into "Good Jew" and "Bad Jew" It denies Jews equal access to public life and equal accommodations It turns harassing and hating Jews into praxis while claiming to love Jewish people, you don't hate Jews you just hate [vital aspect of Jewish identity] and believe it must be eradicated

screenshot 3: I feel disgusted with everything I read, hear and watch I can never trust hundreds of content creators who I watched and read and liked art of It's gotten to the point I refuse to check social media for content creators I like because they might be cheering for my death I feel guilty listening to any music not in Hebrew because I don't know what the artists have said and I don't want to look I'm scared of finding any new people or shows to watch Everyday I block yet another creator who prided themselves on inclusivity and progressivism and yet doesn't offer that to Jews or Israelis I've left so many forums and discords and deleted so much social media how will I ever return from this? Will I ever be able to watch YouTube, or read books, or listen to music or read webcomics ever again without thinking about potential horrible things the creators have said?

screenshot 4: There are a million other ways that it is harmful, it's terrifying looking at the people who claim to care about the marginalized and the oppressed and knowing the majority will never actually care about you and your people when it really counts

screenshot 5: listening to people whose countries either killed jews, expelled jews, or refused to allow jewish refugees entry then go on to have very loud opinions about where jews ought to live and how it's the evil jews' fault a lot of jews began to cling to an ideology that sustains itself on the idea jews cannot be safe anywhere but in their own state. Well it's a lot, bro. it's a lot #there's another word for it 😒

screenshot 6: i don't know dude i'd think some of these antizionists who are not antisemitic would have like. acknowledged that attacking the berlin synagogue, synagogue in tunis, synagogue in melilla etc. was not exactly a le epic act of decolonization. was kinda under the impression that's where those pesky israelis were supposed to return to ?

screenshot 7: Based on my mentions the only protest to the Israeli govt that would be sufficient for some of you would be a protest suicide. The only good Jew is a dead Jew

screenshot 8: #prev tags are so real #actually you just wish that all Jews were all perfect dead victims instead of a vibrant living people #because dead victims can't object to you usually their murder as symbolism for literally whatever you want it to mean

screenshot 9: Your Jewish friends aren't upset that you're speaking out about Palestinian deaths. We are upset that you were silent until there were Palestinian deaths. Because Jews don't count. And now we know that as your friends, we don't count.

screenshot 10: #antisemitism #literally from the days after October 7th #where many marches had iconography of parachuters #and apparently no one at those marches had a problem with it… #a lot of people I thought I trusted didn't seem to see a problem with it #why the fuck would I feel safe around any of you

screenshot 11: #to be clear: yes it's very possible to support Palestinian self-determination without being antisemitic #lots of Jews in fact do this! #it's super possible and you should try it today! #all you have to do is care about Jews like you would any other marginalized group #this is apparently a startlingly tall order for some people #but it's completely doable if you aren't an antisemite 🙂 #hope this helps

I am experiencing a lot of antisemitism due to the ongoing conflict and I would like it to stop, please.

[starlightinhumanform]

Nothing Sweeter

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Ship: Romantic Moxiety, Platonic Analoceit (only mentioned)

Summary: When Virgil agreed to work a cashier shift at the bakery, Logan had assured him that they never get customers that late. Instead, Virgil comes face to face with the cutest customer he’s ever seen.

Warnings: None! (please tell me if anything needs to be added)

Genre: Bakery AU, Tooth-rotting Fluff

A/N: This was written for a request for @catemons-blog ! I haven’t written these babies in such a long time and to was so nice to write them again!! All reblogs and replies are greatly appreciated <3 Love you all 🖤✨

Ao3    Fic Masterpost    Fic Request Info

Virgil could feel flour beneath his nails, the warm dough under his hands, his arms moving automatically in the comforting, repetitive shifts of kneading bread. The bakery was like a second home to him but, more specifically, he loved the kitchen. He loved the whole cafe but the front wasn’t where he belonged— Logan and Janus took care of that— but this world of warmth and sweetness and soft scents, that was his.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like people, they just didn’t seem to click. It seemed like he was always saying the wrong thing at the wrong time or missing some social cue that was apparently obvious to everyone else but invisible to him. No, Virgil loved people and he loved to share what he made with them; it was just a lot lower stress to work behind the scenes.

So he surprised even himself when he agreed to run both the front and the back of the cafe for the night. Maybe it was Logan’s promise that nobody came in on a weekday in the late evening. Maybe it was Janus’ bribe that he would make Virgil an extra special mocha coffee tomorrow. Maybe it was the combined power of their pleading eyes. Whatever the case, Virgil found himself alone in the cafe on a late Wednesday evening, with nothing but his hands and his work for company.

Logan had been right— Virgil hadn’t seen a customer since his shift started at 7:00 and as the time stretched forward, it began to seem less and less likely that some would order a coffee this late at night.

When the door chime ran at 10 pm, Virgil was half-expecting it to be Logan or Janus stopping by to see how he was doing (and probably to steal a jam-filled cookie or two).

Virgil walked into the front of the store to say hello but was instead faced by a stranger. They had a round face with large blue eyes and a mop of curly blond hair sweeping down their forehead— their face wasn’t ringing any bells. But Virgil didn’t really know the customer’s; he knew their orders .

He quirked an eyebrow as went down the list of regular customers this stranger could be and began taking guesses, “A dozen maple doughnut bars?”

“Um, no actually I want—” Their voice was soft but had a gravely quality that bite at the ends of their words. The voice was unfamiliar to Virgil but for some reason, he wanted to hear it more.

“Hmm, a ciabatta loaf and three everything bagels?”

“No… I was hoping you had—”

“Oh, I know! A loaf of rye, a loaf of pumpernickel, and a loaf of sourdough?”

The stranger began laughing. It was a nice laugh, Virgil guessed, but he couldn’t figure out what was so funny. He could feel his cheeks beginning to turn red; he had said something wrong again, hadn’t he?

They stopped laughing long enough to flash Virgil a bright, amused smile, “Are you going to keep guessing the entire night until you get my order right?”

The customer didn’t seem mad, he wasn’t even laughing at Virgil; he was laughing…  because of Virgil? Virgil had made them laugh and that felt very very different than being laughed at. Their laughs ran through the empty little dining area and bounced off the display case, almost entirely empty by this time of day. Their laughs made Virgil feel good, even if he didn’t quite understand what was so funny.

Virgil let himself take another look at the person in front of him. There was a warm, sweet sensation beginning to flutter in his stomach and he wasn’t sure what to do with it.

The customer was cute, no doubt about it. They were wearing large, round-framed glasses, nearly as gold as their hair. Behind the glasses, their eyes were one of the bluest blue Virgil had ever seen— like water drawn in a saturated kid’s cartoon. They were wearing a blue top tucked into a white pleated skirt and white mary-jane shoes. The skirt had attached suspender straps, one of which had a small pin on it. Looking closer, Virgil realized the pin was a small transgender pride flag with the pronouns “he/him” stamped over it. Ok, so the customer was a he ; and he was really, really cute.

Virgil tried to snap his mind back on focus. The man in front of him had stopped laughing but was still looking at him with a soft, somewhat lopsided smile.

Virgil looked down at his hands, feeling like making eye contact with this person was just a little too much right now. He cleared his throat, “So, uh, do you want to order something?”

“No, I actually was just planning on standing here for the rest of the night.”

“Really?” Virgil could feel his eyebrows furrowing together.

“No, no,” He stepped closer to the counter Virgil was behind, “I was just joking, sweetheart.”

Sometimes Virgil had a hard time catching social cues but the way he said “sweetheart” held too much kindness and sincerity for Virgil to miss its meaning. Virgil’s blush grew to a deep crimson.

He walked all the way to the counter so he and Virgil were only a foot apart. Virgil wasn’t sure if he wanted to flirt with him or run away to the kitchen. Somehow, putting a stove fire out seemed easier than talking to this customer.

Virgil shook his hands below the counter, hoping stimming would help release all of the energy and feelings bouncing around in his body. He tried to remember what Logan had told him in case customers did come in; there were specifically steps Logan was very particular about, “Could I get a name for your order?”

“Of course! My name’s Patton!”

God, even his name is cute.

“Your name’s Virgil?”

Virgil glanced down at his name tag as if he needed reminding of what it said. He nodded in confirmation of Patton’s question.

“That’s such a pretty name,” Patton’s smile reminded him of opening an oven door on a cold day, the warmth and sweetness rolling over him in waves. He felt like he was melting.

Patton’s eyes wandered over the menu board, licking his lips absentmindedly as he tried to make a decision. Virgil wished he could stop looking at his lips.

Finally he looked back over at Virgil, “Could I get three muffins—”

“Uh huh,” Virgil nodded as he jotted the words down on the receipt the way Logan had asked him to.

“—and, uh,” Patton leaned forward even a little closer, “Could I get your number?”

Virgil forgot how to talk in that moment, feelings of happiness practically vibrating through him. He wouldn’t be surprised if he just exploded, just nodding his head to answer Patton like his life depended on it.

Virgil moved as if he were in a dream, packaging the muffins as Patton paid. He felt like the planet’s gravity had suddenly been turned down and he was floating a few inches off the ground. He quickly scribbled his phone number on the bag before handing it to Patton.

“Oh! I almost forgot something!”

Virgil quirked an eyebrow at Patton’s exclamation, “You did?”

“Yeah! Your tip for such great service.”

“No, no you already gave a tip. See, it’s on your receipt beneath—”

Virgil froze as Patton leaned forward and planted a kiss on Virgil’s cheek.

“There! Extra tip for being so cute,” Patton gave him that lovely, warm smile before turning with a wave and walking out of the bakery.

Virgil sank to the floor, disregarding whether or not that was a health code violation. He didn’t care about that right now. His face was tingling and his heart was racing and he felt out of breath. He clapped his hands together, happy stims taking over for a moment as he processed the interaction he had just had with the cutest boy he had ever seen. Maybe working in the front of the bakery had its own benefits…

Virgil couldn’t stop smiling.

If you want to be added to my Sanders Sides fic taglist just send me an ask or reply to this post :)

General Sanders Sides Taglist: ~ @centimeter-tries-to-communicate @bee-syndrome @fandomfan315 @cas-is-a-hunter @reggieleigh07 @mossdeemo @im-actually-ok@softnic @catolicabuena @queer-disaster106 @lunawolf89 ~

[isitovernowfromthevault]

ur tags.....if u ever want to share these thots abt the sw*ftie fandom, I promise I will reblog and scream your post on the rooftops. it’s the best tea there is

My thoughts are kind of a mess and they change as we see more and more internet creators speak out about the fucked up nature of parasocial relationships.

It basically goes like this: ever since her MySpace days, but particularly around the Secret Sessions and tumblr interactions, Taylor herself has basically functioned as a BNF (big name fan) within the fandom. For the longest time, BNF’s have been kind of a replacement creator inside the fandom. For example, you could never have an actual conversation with JKR (ew) and actually change her mind about what she was going to do with Harry Potter, but maybe you could get Cassandra Claire to become your friend and listen to you for suggestions on fanfiction. Or at least laugh at your jokes. And so fandom became an insular activity somewhat separated form the creator.

This barrier did not exist in swiftdom, because back when she was a teenager, Taylor realized that she was basically sharing her diary with her fans and she wanted to actually meet these people. And then swifties realized that, if they got lucky, they could get the actual creator to laugh at their jokes and even invite them to her house. So swiftdom never really developed outside the ever present Taylor, and, likewise, Taylor never really stopped trying to meet as many fans as possible. Neither side took the traditional role.

So of course this leads to a unique kind of insanity. On one hand, swiftdom has a very unique hierarchy defined by Taylor herself: secret sessioneers. Its undeniable that she approves of these fans AND they have access to special content, so they’re at the top. At the same time, these people suddenly have a huge amount of responsibility, they have to not spill the beans for starters, but they also end up with a huge audience, and now “policing” the fandom is kind of up to them as well. If you think its inappropriate to speculate on her romantic relationships, you may just yell at people and log off, or ignore the drama. But if you think its inappropriate AND Taylor follows you AND invited you to her house, then the least you can do is make sure tumblr is a safe place for her, so now you have to be very careful about how you talk about it. Fandom becomes a spectacle. Its all very fucked up, because of course she doesnt actually see everything thats going on, and its not really her duty to police everything everyone says in her name, but the fandom acts like it is.

Her solution as of this year seems to be to distance herself from fandom, which, while on the surface is the most sensible solution, does leave an entire fandom without the leader it used to have. (who also never functioned as a traditional leader but thats besides the point). Now you have the same homophobia and bigotry except without the classic “Taylor liked” that would put a stop to it, so thats a mess. I think its also important to remember that whatever Taylor liked or reblogged was interpreted by the fans. She was kind of an oracle that came in to say “oh I like that” and then everyone would be left scrambling to figure out what exactly she liked. Im still not sure how I feel about her leaving, or what exactly I think her responsibility to and inside the fandom is.

The whole ask blogs thing is a separate but somewhat related discussion: there are always going to be BNF’s thats just... human nature to create leaders I guess. It also leads to a lot of trouble. You have people trusting other people with their problems and life stories, because they want to be seen. But now you have blogs that receive dozens or hundreds of asks a day that are also forming parasocial relationships with their followers. Once again you have someone who cannot possibly be expected to deal with so many people on a personal level (and cant even if they wanted to-these are anons we’re talking about). And then you get, yet again, a hierarchy.

I think to condemn any sort of structure besides purely horizontal is to say you cannot have a fandom bigger than a dozen people and I dont think thats the solution. I think its ok to have gif makers, people that interpret lyrics, make masterposts, gossip, or even blogs that give advice. Its fine to have some BNF’s, and fandom really isnt fandom without them, but its also important to acknowledge that they can sour the entire experience because they have too much on them. Anyone can have a bad day and get snappy, and I think everyone needs to realize that you cannot depend on one big blog (or several) for your entire fandom experience. If a big blog, or even Taylor, has a bad day and yells at people (or calls them freaks) its not their fault if the entire fandom then goes down the gutter.

I dont really know, and my thoughts on the matter change every day. For example, I love Taylors Easter Eggs, and i dont think she should stop doing them, I think they can be a very healthy way of interacting with hardcore fans: its saying “this one is just for you guys”. But spend five minutes on Kaylor, or Haylor tumblr and you can see how these are spun wildly out of control to people looking for clues to a truth only they know. (not unlike QAnon).

I dont know, and if you have any thoughts on this please share them. Ive spent most of my life in one fandom or another and I do think Swiftdom has a uniqueness to it that comes from Taylors close interaction with it. Also, shes a mega popstar of truly gigantic proportions so maybe the fandom is just bigger than usual and gives more space for wild things.

[the-gay-prometheus]

(AU Segment) “Second Chances”

Ok so- after almost two weeks I finally freakin finished it. It might be a little messy because I have done absolutely zero proof-reading on it because I’m just happy to have finally finished it 🙃

Anyways...

This is another little segment of my work-in-progress Frankenstein AU that still has yet to have a solid plot other than “Victor agrees to live with the creature on the mountain they meet on as an alternative to creating a companion for him. And also Henry comes to live with them too because he can’t stand to be without his boyfriend™.” An actual plot is in the works but... I’m currently thinking about revamping all that I have of it so far and also completely changing the setting of it.

No warnings needed for this segment to my knowledge! Just a nice moment of interaction between Henry and the creature with a little bit of clervenstein toward the end. It’s not super long but it is 5 google docs pages single spaced so uh- it’s also not super short - just a lil heads up.

Likes, comments, reblogs appreciated as always if you feel inclined to do... any of those things. 

Oh! Also- before getting into it - I still need name ideas for this AU. I want to do something like “The <blank> Prometheus,” but I don’t know what word I want to put there so uh- if anyone has any ideas... send them my way ;~;

Henry pulled his coat tightly around him and shuddered as he stepped out into the frigid night time mountain air, clouds of mist drifting away from him with each breath. He glanced around, searching the moonlit ledge until his eyes set upon a cliff just a short climb above. On that cliff sat a familiar tall figure, staring upward into the starry sky as his long hair drifted in the chilly breeze. Henry rubbed his hands to let friction warm them, then made his way toward the cliff. He took his time to carefully climb up, then sat down beside the figure - his lover’s creation - who leaned away as soon as he sat beside him.

“You should not be out here,” the creature mentioned. “It is far too cold.”

“Neither should you,” Henry answered, trying to keep his teeth from chattering.

“The cold does not affect me in the same way that it affects you,” the creature countered simply. “I am fine - you should be inside with Victor.”

“Actually, I was just talking to Victor. He agreed that I should come out here and try to talk to you.” The creature glanced toward him, his yellow eyes ever so slightly glowing in the dark of the night, but turned his face away after only a moment, pulling the hood of his cloak over his face. “You don’t have to hide from me, you know. I’m- I’m not afraid of you.”

“I do not doubt that you are not afraid - I cannot imagine you would be out here if you were,” the creature replied. “I am merely sparing you from the sight of me. I know well that I am a hideous wretch.”

“I don’t think of you as a hideous wretch.” Henry paused, looking up toward the sky. “I think you are… fascinating, really.” The creature pulled some of the fabric of his hood away so he could look back toward Henry.

“Fascinating is not a word I think many would use to describe me.”

“Well - I’m not ‘many,’ now am I?” Henry glanced toward him with a smirk, but the creature simply turned away with a shaky, labored sigh. Henry’s smirk turned to a more solemn expression as he returned his sight to the stars. “It’s true, though. I think you are… incredibly fascinating.” The creature didn’t reply, except to shrink away from him and cling tighter to the edges of his cloak. “I mean, think about it - how many people get a second chance at life?”

“Victor can argue whatever he wants, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are very much a person. Sure, you may have been made rather than born, but what difference does that make? After all, there are plenty of people who would argue that regardless of birth, all of us are intelligently made. And just think - how lucky you are to know your creator while the rest of us are all destined only to wonder,” Henry explained. He turned to look toward the creature with a sympathetic smile. “Of course, unlucky for you it happened to be Victor, who can barely take care of himself let alone an entire other person,” he joked. The creature couldn’t help but smile a little - it was true, comically true, in a way. His creator was no god, he was just a young man searching for answers and glory, but who left himself and everyone else behind along the way. “Anyways, with regard to your first question, I would say it is. In fact, I would say that’s the best kind of second chance. You’re not burdened by any preconceived notions about what life is or about how the world works, you started your new life with no worry of money or the trivial squabbles of man; you just existed as you were and as you are, perhaps a bit confused and a bit lost, but when you emerged into the world what you saw first shaped you in a way that most people have not been exposed to.”

“Is it a second chance if I cannot even recall the life… or perhaps I should say lives I had before?” the creature began, tracing over the scars on his arm as though he were trying to find memories within each graft of skin that existed there. “For that matter… am I even a person?” He paused, his hands dropping to his knees. “Even my own creator would argue that I am not.” 

“Most people awake in their first moments to find a mother’s embrace or a father’s kind smile. From the moment I took my first breath I was not just miserably alone, but actively feared and hated, Henry. This is not the kind of ‘second chance’ I would wish on anyone,” the creature said quietly, staring down off the cliff’s edge into the dark valley far below. Henry sighed softly with a shiver from the cold.

“I… I am afraid I do not understand your meaning.”

“You know that now, but did you know that then?”

“I mean - did you know that the reaction you saw was a reaction of fear?” The creature thought long and hard about that statement, trying to recount the memory he had chosen to repress.

“I suppose not,” he replied at a length. “I was… confused, and somewhat afraid myself, but I did not understand the meaning of his reaction. I thought it was normal. How should I have known any differently?”

“So what did you do? How did it affect you in that moment?”

“I tried to follow him but I was… still unsteady. He was far too nimble-”

“Ha! Victor? Nimble? That’s funny,” Henry interrupted with a laugh, though he quickly stifled himself and cleared his throat. “...Go on.”

“For my unsteadiness, he was far too nimble,” the creature restated, giving Henry somewhat of a disappointed glance before returning his gaze to the valley below. “So, assuming that I was simply not meant to follow him, I decided to wander elsewhere.”

“Which means in that moment, you had no assumptions of mistreatment, correct?”

“In that moment, yes, that is correct.”

“And where did you go, then?” The creature looked up to him, brow slightly furrowed from confusion.

“I have… already told you this story before, Henry,” he mentioned with uncertainty. “Why must I tell it again?”

“Because I want you to hear yourself tell it. And this time, I want you to actually think about how you felt in each moment,” Henry answered with certainty. The creature stared for a moment, then dropped his gaze downward once again.

“I found myself in a nearby forest,” he began. “It was cold, and dark, and I was still afraid, but I looked upward and saw the moon and the multitude of stars against the night sky. For some reason this sight gave me… comfort. I had no words with which to describe what I saw or what I felt, but it was a moment of serenity. The days following as I learned more about my surroundings were much the same. My fears were allayed by a sudden sense of curiosity and wonder at the life which surrounded me - and everything was certainly alive. Yes, the flora and fauna, but also the stream as it rushed along its way, and the stones in their cold stillness. I felt…” He paused, lifting his gaze to the horizon. “Connected; to all of it. I did not know who or what I was, but I knew I was alive, and for the time being, that was all I needed to know.”

“Those were your most formative moments. Unbound by the values and traditions of our time, blissfully unaware. The rest of us may have had people in our lives from the moment we were brought into this world, but for many, that isn’t necessarily a good thing. We become biased from the very moment we learn how to speak, taught and told how to think or act. Yet there you were, untethered, and instead of finding your sole connection in the eyes of mankind, you found yours in the purity of nature itself.”

“What good has that brought me, though? I happened upon mankind regardless of my contentedness within the woods, and promptly yearned for a place among them, only to be beaten and shunned away for no cause other than my appearance alone. Mine is a miserable existence.” The creature turned away after he had spoken, clenching his eyes shut and gritting his teeth at the sudden pang of sorrow that throbbed deep in his scarred chest. 

“Tell me how you see the world,” Henry answered, resting a shivering hand gently on the creature’s arm. The creature heaved with a breath, holding back tears as even a simple comforting touch such as this was so rare and so precious to him.

“It is,” he began, taking a moment to think. “a cold, dreadful place full of hatred and malice.” His voice, though clearly wrought with pain and some slight sense of anger, sounded uncertain. Henry looked to him.

“You’re describing the world of men. Describe the world itself to me,” he insisted. The creature didn’t respond for a length of time, instead shuddering as he held back tears, but then finally breathed a heavy sigh and opened his yellowed eyes and stared off into the distance beyond the peaks that rose and fell across the horizon.

“The world is…” He paused as he gathered his thoughts again. “The world is a dawn chorus, each bird singing sweetly in its own tune, somehow both melodious and cacophonous all at once. It is... the painted sky as the sun sinks down to dusk, the way each color blends and shines, and the way the clouds glow with golden light, a fleeting work of art that fades into darkness and is never the same twice.” He breathed deeply, slowly closing his eyes as his expression of concentration and contemplation turned to a contented smile. “It is the way the stars shine brightest when the moon hides itself away, and the pale silver gleam that all things acquire when the moon is at its fullest. It is the silence of a heavy snowfall and the deafening roar of thunder, the glitter of ice and the blinding sight of lightning. It is the lonely shriek of the fox and the communal cry of the wolf, the powerful bellow of an elk and the gentle bleat of a deer.” His eyes reopened and he turned toward Henry, who was now staring up at him with a look of astonishment on his face. “The world is wonderful and terrible, familiar and strange, lovely and frightening. It is like fire, which both warms and burns, dances and destroys. Though it is not always kind, I am inclined to search for the beauty and kindness that does exist within it.” 

“Incredible,” Henry breathed, dropping his hand from the creature’s arm to wipe away the tears that had welled in his eyes. The creature flinched and turned his gaze away as Henry’s hand fell away, instinctively reaching up and placing his own hand in the open space that Henry had left as though he just needed to feel something there, as though he wasn’t quite ready to exist alone again. “That’s what makes you a second chance worth taking,” Henry continued, smiling as he put a hand over the creature’s. “I am absolutely sure that none of those who were used to make you saw the world in such an awe-inspiring, beautiful way.” The creature turned to him with a curious tilt of his head.

“How can you be so sure?” he asked, slowly pulling his hand away and bringing it up to his face as he inspected each stitched-on piece of skin that covered it. 

“Well… People tend to take on the views of whatever surrounds them for their first true moments of consciousness, I’ve found. It leaches into who they are. When we are surrounded by the life we’re meant to have - a life free from the confines we created for ourselves in the name of ‘civility,’ - we open ourselves to exactly what makes us human to begin with.” The creature opened his fingers, gazing at Henry from between them.

“And what is it that makes…” He hesitated, eyes shifting from side to side as he considered what he was about to say before locking with Henry’s once again, “us human?” Henry grinned, warmth filling him despite the cold for the joy of hearing the creature speak of himself as one of them rather than as some horrible thing.

“Curiosity,” he replied simply. “Curiosity is what makes us human, but far too many of us have lost our sense of it. Yet here you are, curious and full of wonder. How many of those whose parts made you can say that they felt the same in their lifetime? I’d hazard to guess very few, if any.” He lifted a shaky, shivering hand and gently pushed the creature’s hand down so they could see each other truly eye to eye. “You are their collective second chance. Yes, it hasn’t been easy. Yes, you have done things you have come to regret. Any other man would have become all but lost to his misery, but you, in your endless search for the good and beauty you found in your most precious moments of life, have chosen not only to try to be better, but to never lose sight of that same inspiration that made you who you are. I can’t imagine a better second chance than one such as yours - regardless of the hardships you have endured and have still yet to endure.” The creature stared at him, mind reeling with what he had just heard. Leave it to Henry Clerval to once again make him feel not just like somebody worthy of life, but somebody worth celebrating. He blinked away tears, retracting his hand to wipe away those which had already fallen upon his pale yellowed cheeks, and was just about to speak when a new voice took both his and Henry’s attention away.

“Do you… mind if I join you both?” Victor stood behind them, wrapped in a large, heavy wool blanket. Henry smiled, moving over to make room for Victor beside him.

“Not at all. I could use the extra warmth,” he mused. Victor smiled slightly, shakily walking over and sitting close to Henry. Henry took one end of his blanket and wrapped it around himself, making sure the other end was also fully covering Victor so the two of them were snug within it. The creature watched them for a moment, then turned his eyes toward the stars.

“Long enough,” he answered softly, pressing himself closer to Henry and laying his head on his shoulder. There was silence between the three of them, Victor slowly closing his eyes and breathing a soft sigh as Henry wrapped his arm around him and held him close.

“How long have you been standing there?” he asked suddenly. Victor glanced up at him.

“Henry says I am… incredible,” the creature mentioned, breaking the silence for no reason other than that he was still processing all that had just been said. Henry looked to him with a smile.

“And he’s right to say so,” Victor answered after a long pause. Both Henry and the creature looked to him simultaneously in shock. Victor opened his eyes and looked up at them both. “I’ve just been too blind to see it.” 

“That almost sounded like an apology,” Henry remarked with a smirk. “I thought you didn’t do apologies.”

“I don’t,” Victor grumbled defensively. “Not usually, anyways. And that wasn’t an apology, it was… an observation.” 

“I appreciate your… observation, Victor,” the creature murmured, unsure of what else to say or how else to respond. After so many months of hearing his creator berate him and call him such horrid, disgusting names, it was still always a shock when those rare moments came that Victor acknowledged his existence in a positive way - much less rare now that Henry was here, of course, but still rare all the same. Victor, also unsure of how to respond, simply glanced up at him and muttered,

“Your appreciation is duly noted.” Henry chuckled softly at the awkwardness between the two of them, and gently tapped Victor’s shoulder.

“I think it’s time we get some rest,” he said quietly. He turned toward the creature. “As long as you’ll be alright, that is.” The creature nodded.

“Thank you, Henry. You have been very generous. I believe I will be well.” Henry gave a curt nod in return, and pulled the blanket off of himself to drape it back over Victor before standing and extending a hand. Victor gripped the blanket around himself as he reached out and took Henry’s hand with the other, the two walking off and disappearing as they helped one another climb their way back down. 

“Did you mean what you said just then?” Henry inquired as they walked back to their cabin home on the ledge, hand still firmly gripping Victor’s own.

“I did,” Victor answered with a nod. As they approached, Henry reached for the door, and Victor’s hand slipped from his as he hesitated. Henry stopped just as he opened it, turning toward Victor with a curious expression. “As I listened to him speak I realized something I hadn’t quite realized before.”

“Oh? What would that be?”

“He’s a lot like you - in the way he thinks and speaks, that is.” Henry was about to respond, but Victor took him by surprise as he suddenly wrapped his arms around him and embraced him tightly. “And you’re the most incredible person I know.” Henry was shocked, as Victor was rarely the one to initiate physical contact, but hugged him even tighter in return.

The creature sat alone on the cliff, listening intently to the two voices below as he stared up at the sky. Brushing a lock of hair that fell over his face behind his ear, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. His eyes followed a comet as it passed through the stillness of the stars, and smiled as he continued to recount all that had been said. As he heard the door of the cabin click closed, he rested his hands on the stone of the cliff and leaned back to look up at the moon. “How delightful, dear moon,” he began as though speaking to it directly, “to be given the second chance to be something incredible-” He paused, and slowly closed his yellow eyes with another soft sigh. “to be something human.”

[neopronounsmybelovaed]

Hi! Feel free to answer this on private or on your blog or just ignore this, but i just recently started using neopronouns and looking into xenogenders at age 22 after have been out as non-binary for 7+ years and your blog seems like a GREAT ressource, so I just wanted to make sure you didn't have a dni list?

A lot of other neo/xenogender blogs have dni lists that mention smt i am or am somewhat adjacent to (be it light nsfw sometimes, not being pro NOR anti ship bc being in fandoms for 10+ years teaches someone that there are grey zones to inhabit, being into certain fandoms without being a hardcore fan that will stan the source at all costs) and, since i try my best to be decent, i don't reblog/like their stuff, but it makes A LOT of neopronouns/xenogender content inaccessible to me, which is 100% ok and within the right of the creators

It just means that i've become wary of neo/xenogender blogs bc i happen to step on a LOT of their toes, and since i couldn't find any dni on your blog (i am on mobile tho), i just wanted to double check if you were cool with me following/reblogging/liking your stuff?

Anyways, have a great day/night/whenever!

To be perfectly honest, I think the concept of DNIs is utter bullshit, so I don't have one on this blog. I'm not really pro or anti either lol, so I don't have a problem with that, and I'm okay with nsfw as long as it doesn't end up on my blog. If my blog helps someone I really don't want to restrict that, no matter what they're doing on their personal blog. Copied over from my main, my "dni" is

I’m generally opposed to DNI’s so my very vague DNI is: feel uncomfortable interacting with me, want to or have harassed me for my beliefs and/or identity.

(My most controversial stance is that I like pineapple pizza, just getting that out of the way.)

So unless you really hate pineapple pizza lovers, go ahead and use the blog. I'm really happy you're experimenting with xenogenders and neolabels :)

[gayness-and-mayhem]

Ok, before I say anything else, this is not a love letter to Tumblr or some weird shit like that. I know I shouldn't base my sense of self worth on a social media site, and that's fair enough. I really don't think I do. But what I want to say isn't about Tumblr itself, it's about the people on here. I'm naturally a very anxious person, so up until a few months ago, I just found it incredibly difficult to interact with people online (as I often do in my day to day life outside doing things) and I ghosted fandoms I loved and reblogged things, but I never talked to people. Recently though, talking to people has become something I can do more readily and it's definitely made me at least somewhat more confident in myself. I've only ever met one person irl who I could talk to about my interests and whatever without feeling like a total outsider, but being able have those interactions with people on this fucking hellsite has made me realise that there are people out there who think similarly to me and that it's ok to stick out slightly when I'm around groups of people who just don't have those interests and never will. Like, where else could I find another person who has a crush on Penelope Keith, or someone who enjoys radio comedy just as much as I do, or someone who is willing to have long conversations with me about The Bill or Tom Robinson or Dad's Army or Ghosts (can't forget Ghosts, that's how this all started)? Not many places, certainly not other social media sites. But I love it. It's given me the freedom and a space to be the strange human I really am rather than someone desperately trying to fit into a jigsaw puzzle that I didn't come from, and I couldn't have asked for a better group of people to show me that. In short, I suppose what this post really is is me saying that I love all of you, and that even if you don't know you've had an impact on me, you almost certainly have, and I can't thank you enough for that.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Some more suggested rules/guidelines for avoiding causing needless suffering (especially to other people) while talking about social justice stuff online:

Rule #1: do not engage with trolls. It’s not worth it. Disengage, let them “win”, block if necessary.

It’s not always possible to tell if someone’s a troll. That’s ok. Disengaging is never a bad idea if you’re not sure. If you suspect the possible troll may have a point (and someone can both be a troll and have a point), set aside some time to look it up later, or ask someone that you know isn’t a troll who knows something about the subject.

If an issue is new to you and you don’t know what questions might cause offense, lurk for a bit. Do an internet search for “(issue) FAQ” or “(issue) 101.” It is also OK to ask questions of someone who’s explicitly invited questions. (If they say they aren’t going to answer specific questions, don’t ask those.)

I have found that specifically seeking out information about an issue I don’t know much about, tends to result in a much gentler/friendlier approach than just wandering around and having random encounters. Just because some people are in your face about the issue when you randomly stumble across it, does not mean everyone will be like that.

In particular: when a marginalized person brings up a topic and other people (tbh including people in that group) insert their opinions, especially disagreeing opinions, this tends to get a really hostile response even when the people making disagreeing opinions are being very polite in their word choices.This is because the behavior itself is seen by many people as rude and intrusive.

Actually, many people see it as so self evidently rude that they won’t bother with saying it’s rude, they’ll just say whatever they think will shut it down fastest. Including “shut up” and calling the people saying disagreeing opinions -ist or -phobic.

A lot of the ugliest online fights involve two sides that each think the other side is being hopelessly rude. (Which is not to say they’re equally likely to be right. But it does mean: if you think people are being really rude, it’s possible that they are, but also possible you’ve done something incredibly rude by their standards. In either case, disengaging is a good idea.)

Somewhat tangential: people tend to really dislike it when someone asks for advice, gets advice they didn’t want to hear, and argues with it.

When unsure, take a moment to calm down and pay attention to how the discussion started and/or who’s “space” it is. What’s rude on your own post and what’s rude on a reblog are different.

Don’t pretend to have an identity you don’t have. (This should go without saying, but for the sake of being thorough.)

Trying to show that someone else doesn’t have the identity they claim to have is risky and can go horribly wrong. (I’m not super knowledgeable about blackfishing specifically, so I’m not going to weigh in on it.) In general I think it’s best to not make assumptions about people’s identities. People from any group can have perspectives that disagree with other people’s perspectives.

Arguing with people who are wrong or who you think are wrong, is not necessarily as constructive or worthwhile as it feels in the moment. Pointing out someone else’s bad manners is usually itself bad manners.

“I” statements (statements about you personally and your experience) are sometimes a lot “safer” than generalizations. This is a bit contextual though: “this is a common experience for x people”/“I’ve never experienced that” might not be constructive. Additionally, sometimes people don’t want to talk about their own experience because that can be very vulnerable, so it’s not a good idea to impose that standard on other people.

Unfollowing and blocking: unfollowing or blocking a stranger is no big deal, do it as often as you like for any reason you like. Explaining why you’re unfollowing someone who’s shown no interest in you is unnecessary. If you’ve had a lot of interaction with someone (not just one-sided on your part) and they do one thing you don’t like, it might be worth trying to talk it out. (Maybe it was a mistake.) Telling other people to not follow a specific person is kinda extreme (controlling) and should not be done lightly, and it’s worth asking yourself what you’re trying to accomplish. Personally I have yet to see a “don’t follow this person” callout that I thought was justified. (Granted: very small sample size.)

DNI/BYF (do not interact/before you follow): Some of these make a lot more sense to me than others. Regardless, people get to set whatever boundaries they want, and I can’t think of any situation that would justify interacting with someone who has requested you not interact with a specific post or their entire blog. It’s worth checking someone’s description before following them or liking/reblogging from them, as a matter of respect and consideration.

Don’t send death threats, or suicide bait, or doxx people. Or anything else blatantly mean and unnecessary.

Anyways, this is just some thoughts off the top of my head. I would unironically love it if someone wants to point me towards anyone else’s list.

I really do think that a lot of conflict in social justice land (and between social justice types and the wider world) comes from people operating off of different and conflicting social rules (often without ever explicitly saying what the rules are), so the more we get these rules into the open the better.

In particular, I feel really in the dark about how tags are supposed to work (not technically, in terms of how people should tag) and would love asks/messages/reblogs/whatever from other people on how you tag.

I also think there’s more stuff to say about parasocial relationships and stalker-y or “creepy” behavior, and where the lines are on sending asks and so on, but I’m way out of my depth on that.

[ask-a-cool-spaceguy]

Making a pinned post to procrastinate my school work-

//Hello! I’m Admin Leon! I run this blog! I figured I’d make a pinned post cause not everyone wants to go and read a long carrd, so I figured I’d make a post with some of the most important info just to make things easier!

If you can, I still do recommend you read my carrd here! At the very least, the blacklist, disclaimers, and why no interact sections! I will be putting the most important info here, but of course the carrd will hold all the information you need to know!

For starters, please don’t reblog this post! This is not a promo or anything! Plus it will be edited from time to time! Now I will place everything else under a read more because it will get long and I don’t wanna clog anyone’s dash!

TAGS:

Character interaction tags all follow this format - “int:*characters name*(*optional nickname based on their blog name*)” With no spaces, no quotes, and no asterisks! For example, int:kaito(coolspaceguy) would be what I use if I was interacting with a Kaito who’s blog name is ask-a-cool-spaceguy ;0c

“promo” is used when I promo another blog! These posts to tend to be long just as a heads up!

“long post” is used when I feel a post is very long, length wise not reply wise. Do note that I don’t tag promo posts with this unless I reply to it after promo-ing it!

Blacklist tags I commonly use are as follows! If you’d like for me to blacklist tag a specific thing not on this list, just let me know and I’ll keep it in mind and add it here(Sidenote: I won’t tag ships/characters with ship/full character names in order to keep them out of the search tag! I will work with ya to get a special tag made though!) Also if I forgot something here just let me know again!:

“👻” and “phobia tw” which are when the topic of ghosts are brought up. The emoji is typically used for more lowkey reactions, but the phobia tw tag can involve panic attacks!

“medical tw” and “medical mention” which are of course used when medical topics are brought up

“death tw” and “death mention” are used of course during the topic of death! I do not tag mentions of the Killing Game unless the topic becomes about a death in it!

“trauma tw” is used whenever someone in the thread is currently going through a hard time because of a traumatic experience. Also gets used when someone is talking about said experience.

BLACKLIST:

For starters I do wanna say: Please don’t use my blog as a positivity blog or come asking for advice! I personally cannot handle vents at times cause brain is the big dumb 😔

My blacklist is sorted into two sections! The general blacklist which contains things that actually make me uncomfy, and the things that I’d just rather not have on the blog!

General Blacklist:

Venting to me unprompted

Romanticizing mental illness

Chihiro or Gonta x anyone

Incest and Pedophilia

Spider pictures and extended spider talks

Character hate and discourse (As well as discourse in general)

Things I’d just rather not have mentioned on the blog:

Kokichi x anyone

Anything involving self harm/suicide

Anything involving major current events (Unless its a happy topic!)

Sending anything involving pee/poop will get you blocked

NSFW (I might allow a few suggestive jokes, but that’s a big MIGHT)

Carrying on jokes longer than they have to (This used to be a bigger problem in the past, but I’m still keeping the rule-!)

DISCLAIMERS:

This is the part where you might have to check out my carrd to get all the details! Again this is just gonna be the most important stuff! I also will not add the “why no interact” section here so make sure you head to my carrd to read those!

I’m sorry if I don’t reblog your promo! There could be many reasons why I do not reblog it, but none of them are because I’m just ignoring you! Tumblr also likes to not notify blog owners when someone tags them in a post, so it’s a good idea to send an IC ask to the blogs you tagged if they didn’t reblog the promo!

I am somewhat busy these days, and also have motivation problems, so I’ll often be late to replies or answering asks! Because of this, I might also forget about some rp threads entirely! Feel free to DM me if I do to remind me!

Kaito is a Japanese character living in Japan. He doesn’t follow some Western traditions (Such as Christmas) because of this! Please don’t treat him like a dumb person for not knowing about/not following these traditions! However please feel free to tell and teach him about those traditions! He’ll be happy to learn!

To any Junko blogs that wish to interact: I have some unease around Junko blogs due to some minor trauma! Junko as a character is fine, however if I do not personally know you as a mod, I will have to decline interacting with your Junko blog! Sorry! Some OC blogs might get the same type of response, again due to the same minor trauma! For clarification though, if I do know the mod behind the blogs then I am perfectly ok with interacting!

I DO NOT interact with blogs that use stolen/uncredited fanarts/edits to rp with. If I recognize the sprite or notice you’re using fanart from google images, and do not see credit (Or a confirmation that you have permission to use said sprites/art without credit) in the bio or in a pinned post, I will halt interaction with you.

While Kaito knows a lot about space, I do not- I have to research in order to have Kaito talk about space things! That being said, sometimes in research you get a bad source, or you think you remember something correctly but it’s wrong! If I make Kaito give a not correct space fact, please don’t take it out on him! It’s just because I, the mod, made a mistake, not him. Feel free to correct me though!

[not-a-space-alien]

hey its me again wall of text sorry not sorry

k i saw your little treatise justifying zadr and yknow its a cartoon its not the worst thing ever of course nobody is gonna sue you for reblogging fanart or burn you at the stake or w/e and im glad you decided to open yourself up to a differing opinion but zim IS portrayed as an adult. there was even an unfinished episode where zim’s childhood and growing up training from start to finish would be shown so by the time of the pilot he is definitely a full grown developed adult by irken standards especially if hes a former member of an elite military force like the invaders. jhonen has said that the irony and sad comedy of zims character is that hes a grown ass man and a war veteran to boot who VOLUNTARILY goes to an elementary school every day and throws hands with an 11 year old boy who should be well below his notice because he’s that pathetic and desperate for validation that he’ll stoop to seeking it from a child. it also sets up a dynamic between them where dib is CHALLENGED by having to go up against an adult with way more experience than him while dib is just a child, so when he wins its more meaningful, which is a common trope in childrens fiction that an underdog young hero has to take down a powerful adult villain.

jhonen might joke a lot but he’s serious about this part of the characterization of zim and dib and he even went to great lengths to make dib look and act more like a kid in ETF (more emotional and naive, designed to look smaller/softer, going in depth with his relationship to his dad and sister and needing his dad to protect him at the end when he’s too overrun to fight alone) just to drive home the point of how young he is. it was a very deliberate move and jhonen knows what hes doing ESPECIALLY since he also left zim pretty much unchanged and also includes gags about zim’s relative maturity like animating him briefly grimacing because his joints are sore and the part where he pretty much gestures to his crotch and goes “theyre afraid to look at ALL-A THIS”. like you would not see jhonen do that sort of joke with an underage character ok. dont confuse his social awkwardness and self deprecating/trolling humor for not knowing the difference between right and wrong and not acknowledge when he means something sincerely because he doesn’t just clown on people and troll ALL THE TIME 24/7 hes a human, and times have changed with more awareness on issues such as the grooming of minors so he can go back on things he may have said in the past that he doesn’t agree with now or said by mistake. he has said enough times that zim is older than any human alive that its safe to take his word for it by now. judging by the one strip he did in JTHM about johnny murdering a pedophile who was about to prey on squee i think his stance on protecting kids is pretty clear. also i wouldnt put it past jhonen to have redesigned membrane to be more chaddy looking to divert the adult fandom’s attention away from dib and throw the fangirls a bone but thats a whole nother can of worms lol.

and the justification that zim is immature so hes essentially on dib’s level is a reversal of something lots of kids hear from either creepy or ignorant adults who tell them theyre “so mature for their age”. no matter how emotionally mature you are it wont ever compensate for the number of years youve been alive so that’s not very sound logic, and even in fic where theyre both adults it’s still pretty weird because it doesn’t erase their history where zim knew dib as a kid. that’s sort of like a grownup waiting with bated breath until a kid is “legal” so they can start dating. kinda like when jacob imprints on bella’s newborn daughter in twilight then having it handwaved away by saying he’ll wait till she’s grown up, which understandably drew a huge amount of criticism. it’s a loophole that might be mildly acceptable in some cases but the context leaves it colored with a residual ickiness that sets off some red flags for me and a lot of other people.

also you said zim is an alien and therefore the situation itself is unrealistic, but the reason invader zim’s writing resonates with people is because zim is written with very HUMAN emotions and motivations and part of the humor again is how irkens despite being aliens from another planet mirror some of humanity’s worst flaws such as being petty, gluttonous, willfully ignorant, arrogantly believing they are special and better than everyone else, easily manipulated by propaganda, all too eager to greedily colonize other societies etc making them not so different from us at all. so the premise out of context might not seem realistic but the idea of a sad burnout adult who doesn’t realize how humiliating it is to be consistently outsmarted by a kid less than half their age IS realistic and applicable to human interaction since we’ve likely all met someone like this before at one point in our lives for example a schoolteacher who has a personal vendetta against one or more of their students and has nothing better to do than antagonize them, or a really dumb parent that you fight with a lot.

another thing, i know you and other fans probably have a lot of sentimental value and nostalgia attached to zadr because you probably shipped it back when you were a kid yourself and you cant be blamed for something you liked as a kid, but youre an adult now, and you have to listen to the portion of kids in the fandom who dont like zadr and say without question that the age gap makes them uncomfortable. those kids ARE the priority. we’re grown up now and we have to put our feelings aside for them because that’s part of being responsible and mature. i feel like zim himself is a pretty good example of how not to act at our age [shrug emoji]

and anyway a lot of the same elements of zadr can be explored with zadf just as well with just as much potential for cute moments and as a bonus is it’s not creepy

You do bring up some good points, and I’m not saying you’re wrong...  But honestly I’m still not convinced.  I mean, stuff that Jhonen said, the thing is even if it’s the author saying it it’s still outside of canon, that’s the reason why Neil Gaiman got flack for Good Omens because they didn’t write an actual kiss or hug or hand-hold between Aziraphale and Crowley yet Neil Gaiman went on Twitter saying they were queer representation.  I still don’t really put much stock into what he says because the unfinished episodes and Jhonen’s commentary don’t really change the dynamic that’s actually in the show.  And again...Jhonen said if there were going to be romance in the show it would be Zim/Gaz, so he’s either a huge hypocrite or doesn’t view Zim as being incompatible with Gaz.

I do think it’s much better when Dib is an adult and it just makes more sense, and I actually do prefer zadf to zadr and if i were going to ever write fanfiction or make fanart it would probably just be zadf, just because i know this does have some stuff to think about and I totally respect that you have a different view of it, but i honestly just don’t see it that way.  The analogy with Jacob imprinting on Bella’s child in Twilight isn’t really the same thing honestly.  The author in that situation tried to make it not......that....by saying that imprinting isn’t always a romantic relationship thing, and that Jacob would be more of an older brother, but honestly that doesn’t really negate the impact of grooming that kid would have with Jacob around.  The idea that Zim would somehow be grooming Dib seems really silly to me although you’re right, I think his characterization in Into the Florpus has evolved somewhat especially with regard to Dib wanting to get his father’s approval, but again Zim has parallels with that in trying to please the Tallest.  the world-building and characterizations are inconsistent and scattershot at best.  Like no, zim isn’t waiting for him to turn legal, that’s absurd, they’re nemeses coming at each other then learning to be friends.  You’re right that that doesn’t have to be zadr but I still tag it as zadr so people can block it if they want to.

Like, I’ve seen people ship Zim with Professor Membrane instead of Dib.  That seems very weird to me.  that professor membrane would have a relationship with someone who literally goes to his son’s elementary school and who doesn’t know anything at all about human behavior and emotions.

I feel like with this discussion people don’t really understand the problem with age gaps. With age gaps, it’s not a matter of mature/immature, it’s about development.  A ten year age gap sounds like a lot right?  a 25-year-old and a 15-year old would absolutely have a predatory “relationship.”  But a 35- and a 45-year old, that’s perfectly fine.  Having a difference in age doesn’t automatically make the relationship unhealthy.  so if Dib is 25 and Zim is [whatever the hell aliens years i still don’t really take Jhonen’s word for it bc he’s not consistent], that’s doesn’t mean it has to be bad.  The thing about telling minors they’re “so mature for their age” to try and convince them that a person interested in them isn’t a pedophile is that we know a human being who is 15 isn’t developmentally at the same level as a 25-year-old regardless of their behavior.  What is Zim?  All we have to go on is how he acts, and he acts like Dib is an equal match, it’s not “he’s immature for his age,” it’s very unclear.  Raw number of years isn’t the ultimate decider, for example in DnD lore elves reach maturity at, like, 100 years old so a 25-yo human trying to get with a 50-year-old elf would be predatory to the young elf even though the “younger” one is technically twice as old as the human.  Do you see what I’m saying?

I also don’t really buy the idea that Invader Zim’s writing resonates with people because Zim is ~~so human~~.  The guy steals a bunch of kid’s organs in one episode and flies into a tantrum over the slightest inconvenience.  You have to be reading really deeply into it and dig into some old internet archives of things Jhonen Vasquez has said to paint it as realistic.  You can do some interesting things with it wrt like, Zim being defective and starting to experience human emotions but that’s mostly fanon.

Well, you’ve given me some things to think about, thanks for explaining your side to me.  I’m still going to tag things as #zadr so people can block if it can’t plausibly be categorized as zadf.  I’m not actually making any fan content for Invader Zim so the point is kind of moot, but if I ever do I’ll definitely take this into consideration.