#this is somewhat inspired by the diet of a Hobbit

[phoebe-the-autism-fairy]

Headcanon coming your way #2

(I think someone else made this headcanon first but I just wanted to elaborate on it)

Duck has a very big appetite. Seriously the guy has the appetite of a fuckin Hobbit.

My proof? In the first episode of the TV series, Duck asks the vending machine for two of everything.

Here's what I think Duck would eat in a day:

Breakfast - A bowl of morning bran or porridge, a banana, some mini pancakes, a cup of coffee and a cigarette

Mid-morning snack - Crackers and cheese (because he's Grolton in disguise) and another cigarette

Lunch - A shitload of chicken, a baguette, a cup of tea and a cig.

Afternoon snack - Probably some cake, or a charcuterie board on some random day in the week (I also feel like the guy is a cheese connoisseur and likes any sort of cheese) and he treats himself to a blunt instead of a cigarette at this time.

Dinner: Probably some homemade curry or something

[monsata]

4 of 1001

Today's album: King Crimson - In The Court of the Crimson King (1969)

Oh man, here we fucking GO! I love this album. Can and will turn you into an evil scientist.

(in case that's a lost reference:)

So, spotify only has the "expanded and remastered original album mix", but whatever it's king goddamn crimson.

Now, i can already hear people saying: "wait a minute, The Doors are 'tedious' but King Crimson isn't?" Yeah, i like bizarre spacey prog rock better than drunken meandering calliope bullshit. Sue me.

Gonna just go track by track, since there's only 5 of them here.

21st Century Schizoid Man - starts off amazing and never lets up. A killer first track. Unrelenting guitar noodling, a drum set that sounds like the irritated finger tapping of an angry god who's just about to lose their shit entirely, and the trumpets, my god, the trumpets.

As much as i may love strings, i grew up on a heavy diet of Oingo Boingo and 70s funk, and i love a good brass section at least equally, if not even more than a good string section.

I Talk To The Wind - whiplash engaged! 7+ minutes of drums and trumpets, and that mellow flute intro immediately calms you back down, brings you right back to earth.

I've always loved this song, despite being one of the slower ones here. The lyrics are beautiful and just a bit depressing/haunting, to be honest.

And, not to keep going back to the "religious trauma" well, but 'talking to the wind' always felt like a metaphor for prayer to me. Like: 'I'm just saying these things, casting them out into the void, and the void clearly isn't listening.'

Epitaph - Confusion will be my epitaph. What was i saying earlier about beautiful string sections? Well, here's a great one. And the lyrics are just outstanding.

"Knowledge is a deadly friend

If no one sets the rules,

The fate of all mankind i see

Is in the hands of fools."

I'm just gonna say 'Elon Musk' and walk away from that one. I know it was likely about politicians back then, and it still very much is, since they're damn sure not making politicians any smarter than they were a half century ago, but there are decidedly more powerful fools nowadays.

To call this song prescient sells it short.

Moonchild - upon seeing the name, all i can think of is the kid from The Neverending Story weirdly screaming that word at the end, so, uh, yeah.

A lot of prog rock gets maligned for being "25 minute-long songs about hobbits and elves and dragons and shit" and i kinda feel like this song is pretty guilty of that. 2.5 minutes of weird flowery hippie poetry in a 12 minute long song with A LOT of nonsense and jangly filler.

At least "The End" had the weird "faTHUUR, i WaNt To KEEL youuuuuu..." part to keep it somewhat interesting, this is just plinks and plonks and 'sOuNdScApEs'.

The first half feels... Tolkienesque. Tom Bombadilian, even. The second half feels like: 'everybody in the studio is on really strong acid and we ALL just peaked, time to make some fuckin NOISES!'

The Court of the Crimson King - back from the goddamn brink. The lyrics feel like something i would use for d&d campaign inspiration, but unlike in moonchild, this is actually rad and creepy and evocative instead of just "hey so there's a moonchild, doing their usual moonchild shit in the forest where the moonchild is...'

And the flute soars once again.

The melody throughout is so beautiful and mournful, and the drumming comes back so hard at the end. God damn, what a great song.

I fully believe that Stephen King did a shitload of something and hallucinated The Dark Tower while listening to this song specifically.

Favorite Track: 21st Century Schizoid Man, no doubt. If you haven't heard it, just listen to it and you'll see. You'll know.

Least Favorite Track: yeah it's moonchild. Way too long of a song for not much at all.