#this is something i wrote for you and i so as to remember that we can grow through it

[scoupsakakitty]

A/N: Since it’s my Birthday today, I thought I’d surprise you guys with something small I wrote for you. I hope you like it! 🌹

A Rose for Every Regret | idol!S.coups x Reader | fluff

It had been a long day at work. Y/N stepped out of the elevator and dragged herself down the hallway, the weight of her bag feeling heavier than usual. Her birthday wasn’t supposed to feel like this. She had hoped for something… better. But birthdays didn’t seem special anymore, especially after the breakup with Seungcheol, or as everyone else knew him, S.Coups.

He was always too busy, too distracted, too caught up in his own world to notice the little things that mattered to her. So, when they ended things six months ago, she swore she wouldn’t let herself get pulled back into that kind of hurt.

Unlocking her apartment door, Y/N paused. Something felt… different.

She stepped inside, immediately greeted by a sight she couldn’t have expected in a thousand years. Roses. Dozens of roses in vases, arranged perfectly on every available surface in her small living room. The air was thick with their sweet, floral scent.

Her eyes widened, her heart pounding in her chest.

“What the…” she whispered, dropping her bag to the floor.

There was no note, no explanation. But there didn’t need to be. She knew exactly who had done this.

Reaching for her phone, she typed a quick message, her fingers shaking slightly:

Y/N:

Cheol, what the hell? We’re not even together anymore. And how did you even get into my apartment?

It didn’t take long for his reply to come through.

S.Coups:

You never changed your door code.

Her jaw dropped.

Y/N:

Are you serious? That doesn’t give you the right to break in and do… whatever this is!

S.Coups:

I wanted to make your birthday special.

She stared at the message, feeling a complicated mix of emotions anger, confusion, and a small flicker of something she didn’t want to name.

Rolling her eyes, she tossed her phone onto the couch and tried to focus on cleaning up. But every time she looked at the roses, her chest tightened.————————————————————————————-Hours passed, and the sun dipped below the horizon. She had just settled down with a glass of wine, trying to ignore the flowers staring at her from every corner of the room, when the sound of her door opening made her freeze.

Her head snapped toward the entrance.

“Cheol?!” she exclaimed, her voice sharp.

He stepped inside casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He was dressed in his practice clothes sweatpants, a hoodie, and a baseball cap pulled low over his messy hair. In his hands were several gift bags and a small cake box.

“What are you doing here?!” she demanded, standing up so quickly she nearly knocked over her wine glass.

He smiled sheepishly. “Happy birthday, Y/N.”

Her heart betrayed her, skipping a beat at the sight of him. He looked tired, but his eyes held that same warmth she’d fallen in love with years ago.

She folded her arms, trying to steady herself. “You can’t just walk into my apartment like this! Seriously, Cheol, what’s wrong with you?”

He set the bags and cake down on the coffee table and straightened up. “I couldn’t stay away. Not today.”

She let out a short, sarcastic laugh. “Oh, really? You had no problem staying away last year when we were still together. Remember? You were ‘too busy’ to even call me on my birthday.”

His expression faltered, guilt flashing across his face. “I know I messed up, Y/N. I’ve messed up a lot. That’s why I’m here. I needed to see you, to say I’m sorry.”

Her arms stayed crossed, her gaze hard. “And you thought breaking into my apartment was the best way to do that?”

“I didn’t break in,” he argued lightly, scratching the back of his neck. “You really should change your code, though.”

“Cheol!”

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry! But I just… I needed to see you.”

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Why now? Why today?”

“Because I couldn’t let another birthday go by without making it right,” he said, his voice soft. “I’ve been such an idiot, Y/N. I know that. I was so caught up in work, in everything else, that I forgot what was most important. You.”

She looked away, his words hitting her harder than she wanted to admit. “Cheol, we’ve been over this. It’s too late. We’re not together anymore.”

“I know,” he said, stepping closer. “And it’s my fault. But I can’t stop thinking about you. Every day, every night, I miss you. I miss us.”

Her heart ached, but she kept her face neutral. “That’s not fair, Cheol. You don’t get to just walk back in and say this now.”

“I know it’s not fair,” he said, his voice trembling slightly. “But I’m begging you, Y/N. Give me one more chance. I’ll do better. I’ll be better. I’ll show you every day how much you mean to me.”

She met his gaze, her defenses crumbling just a little. “You didn’t even have time for me before. Why should I believe you now?”

“I’ll make time,” he promised, stepping even closer. “I’ll prove it to you. Starting now.”

He reached into one of the gift bags and pulled out a small, carefully wrapped box. “This is for you.”

Reluctantly, she took the box and opened it. Inside was a delicate bracelet with a tiny rose charm, simple but beautiful.

“It’s not much,” he said, watching her reaction. “But I wanted you to have something that reminded you of how much I love you.”

Her breath caught. “Cheol…”

“I know I hurt you,” he continued, his voice breaking slightly. “And I know it’ll take time to fix things. But please, let me try. I’ll do whatever it takes.”

Tears welled up in her eyes despite her best efforts to hold them back. She hated how much she still loved him, how much she wanted to believe him.

“You really hurt me, Cheol,” she whispered, her voice shaky.

“I know,” he said, stepping closer and gently taking her hand. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, if you’ll let me.”

For a long moment, she just looked at him, searching his face for any sign of doubt or insincerity. But all she saw was love raw, desperate, and unshakable.

Finally, she sighed, a small, watery smile breaking through. “You’re such a pain, you know that?”

His face lit up with hope. “Is that a yes?”

She rolled her eyes, but her smile grew. “It’s a maybe.”

He grinned, pulling her into a tight hug. “I’ll take it.”

As his arms wrapped around her, she felt a warmth she hadn’t felt in months. Maybe he really had changed. Maybe this time, things would be different.

————————————————————————————-

And as they sat together, sharing cake and laughter, surrounded by the soft glow of candlelight and the scent of roses, she realized that she was ready to try again.

After all, love was worth the risk. And with Cheol, it felt like coming home.

[starberry-cupcake]

GUESS WHO'S BACK??? Happy new year you bone-loving weirdos (affectionately)!!! Let's start 2025 with Nona!!!

previously, in this react series:

we (I mean me, but also you, alongside me) finished harrowcita del 9

we read some short stories

I made a gideon craft as a gift and the person I made it for told me that the recap I wrote in the back made it to some discord server somewhere

my legacy is being unfunny

NOW LET'S START WITH NONA:

(that's how I called 2 of my great-grandmothers)

I decided to skip all the praise for the book because some of them were getting a little too involved with the story and I don't want to know anything, thank you very much

I did however read the blurb in the inside cover that I missed the last time

I wonder if at some point I could make like an audio version of a recap as I read, because my reaction when I read the following was Something, but then again you'd have to deal with my pronunciation of the names and idk if I want that

anyway, blurb says "with Pyrrha, Camilla and Palamedes"

???????????????????????????????????????????

I thought it was judith and coronabeer twin??????

I'm gonna change her name from regina george twin to coronabeer twin now because she outlived her other nickname

she's the only nickname graduate so far

who took palmolive out of the tamagotchi river loft???????

who set him loose????

how is phyrrha there, she was with gideon/harrow/gideonharrow fusion??????

"each night, Nona dreams of a woman with a skull painted face"

don't we all

the list of books says "Nona the Ninth" and so does the title in the paratext

instead of dramatis personae we have a guest list for a party

there are a lot of dogs invited to the party, which is nice

one of them has six legs

there's also people with BOE names

and one kevin, love to see it, I'll remember him

lots of meme potential there

there are some camilla annotations beside all the people from BOE allegedly nona wants to invite

still not seeing coronabeer and/or judith

gonna imagine that, wherever they are, they're making out

good for them

we got two poems after, the latter of which is a bit heart wrenching, I don't wanna ask about it

then we got a title that looks like a bible verse

had to google it and it is a verse about peter and a disciple finding jesus's tomb empty

ice cube barbie is locked tomb jesus confirmed

I've never mentioned this before but this has happened to me ever since book 1, and since it's here again I'm gonna say it

I have noticed I have a bad knee jerk reaction to the adjective 'fat' being used so often for so many things, but I'm trying to work thought it

don't wanna project my trauma onto unintended narrators

we got a summarized recount of events of what might be how emperor asshat and some of his lyctors got where they got from maybe present times???

there's talk about cryogenics for a lot of people and an evacuation plan from earth

and names are erased but we have some initials that could be augustine, mercygirl, cassiopeia and gideon

I don't think c is not!dulcinea because she was meant to be a newer model lyctor

during this recount he's in the beach alongside harrow, who he says he's gonna hurt

harrow apparently says she still loves him

gideon would be kicking him in the nuts

also, I thought the emperor was with yandere twin

what the hell happened between the two books???? where's everyone????

DAY ONE (hot sauce and 5 days until the tomb opens) CH 1

we've got a recorded statement of what feels to me like the Pool Situation Wink Wonk You Know The One

is she harrow??? or is harrow in the river with the emperor and this is a new person???? who is this????? is harrow's soul in the river???? where is gideon's perfectly preserved body that we knew camilla was carrying around with coronabeer and judith???

I don't know anything

but my wife is here, so it's all good

also, she's apparently sharing a body with palmolive now

so now the wife ideal turned into a polycule situation, I guess

didn't have that in my 2025 cards

I have two hands, apparently, idk

turns out, palmolive was somehow freed from his tamagotchi loft in the river and placed in camilla's body so they share it

how? by who? when?

glad you asked, I don't know

they're sharing space now, that's all I know

it's kind of like the lyctors should have been if the emperor wasn't an asshole, I guess

because it seems they can also switch easily and like coexist without totally cutting the other one out

it feels a lot healthier and organic in their relationship, even though palmolive is a soul guest

palmolive says camilla's body is a temple, so I'm glad we agree

pyrrha is also there, I assume taking over og!gideon's body fully, since he died, afaik

they're taking care of nona, who doesn't know who she is and they don't seem to know either, but if she has harrow's memories, I don't know what to tell you

they're living in a complicated militarized situation with few resources and little light use

palmolive thinks he could write explicit materials for a living but camilla doesn't want them to be remembered for that

palmolive wrote a lot of Things to his bae in correspondence, so maybe that's already part of his legacy

nona is sent to her room while palmolive and pyrrha argue about BOE acting weird

camolive want to rescue people, pyrrha thinks it's a bad idea and wants to get nona away from the planet

pyrrha also mentions a "she" that's crazier than camilla and makes references to commander wake me up when september ends but that one died???? twice????? so idk who this new "she" is

let's remember, for the record, that both og!gideon and pyrrha were Intimate with commander wake me up before we go go

apparently there are more people who are planet refugees in this one planet than two houses combined

which doesn't surprise me in the least, because that's how oppression often works, but is good to have it confirmed

heralds are also still a problem and camilla wants to fight them

pyrrha thinks that's a bad idea, because there's data of that not being possible

but she doesn't know that camilla hect is perfect and can do everything right always

it is important for me to clarify that, more than anyone ever in this book series, nona is the true definition of what in my land we refer to as: "está en un cumple"

the literal definition of the phrase means "she's in a birthday party"

the idiom definition is that someone is totally unaware of what is going on, without understanding what's around them, often used for people in a content state while unaware of a problem everyone else is worrying about

I truly think it's a very good way to describe her and I can't translate it in a way that feels the exact way, especially due to the party context

I headcanon her wearing this shirt

she also wants to save the animals, while camolive want to save the people

pyrrha is just tired and wants to retire to a farming planet to live in peace

I get it, though, imagine having to serve emperor asshat for so long

poor cavalier deserves some rest, og!gideon had the right idea when he exited the entire situation

saw an out with that fight in the river and left the chat

pyrrha is also worried about BOE capturing and torturing camolive for interrogation

and there seems to be an underlying plan between camolive and pyrrha that I'm not entirely sure of yet

nona, apparently, goes to school, because she's in a cumple, as previously established

going to school on top of the eye in the sky and the military issues and the social strife and the potential torturing doesn't sound ideal but very glad there's still an education system in place among all that

AND THAT'S IT FOR NOW!!! It's proving a bit complicated to do recaps with a paperback but I'm gonna try to find my footing!! See you on the next one!!

[martiae]

from me to you | pepe martí

“all of the girls you’ve loved before, made you the one i’ve fallen for” ♡ (inspired by to all the boys i’ve loved before!)

synopsis: you’ve been in love with your childhood best friend since you were 6. when you were 13, you decided to start writing love letters to him. you never planned on sending them but they somehow made their way to his house?

pairing: pepe marti x reader (y/n) adler | genre: highschool au, smau, fluff, slight angst | warnings: some cursing, suggestive jokes from christian (haha), gianna/gigi is an oc, y/n is kind of irritating because she assumes a lot !!

chapter 2 : the diner

now playing : breaking news — flowerovlove

you sighed before putting your phone down on the table, your anxiety rising as you realize what you’re doing at this place.

after gianna left you alone with pepe after school, you were able to steer both of your guys ways to this diner.

it gave you more time to plan your words, no, your sentences. you needed to make sure you didn’t say anything that you’ll regret. obviously pepe was mad, his face has told you a lot.

your thoughts were put on pause when you saw a strawberry milkshake be carefully placed in front of you. you glanced up and saw the small smile on his face. he carefully slid into the booth, facing you directly as he pulled his milkshake towards himself.

“um..” you let out.

his eyes dart towards yours, his eyebrows raising.

“thank you. i could’ve paid for myself” you thanked.

a small smile appeared on his face, his head softly shaking.

“you could’ve, but, i didn’t want you to” he said.

your stomach turned, your eyes lingering on his face as he sipped his milkshake.

it was true, all of what you wrote. you can’t remember everything but you still feel as if those things and feelings are true. they definitely still exist too.

“so..” he let out, his posture straightening as he put his elbows on the table.

his eyes had the certain sparkle to them, the very pretty one. he looked at you with an intense gaze, his face looking more neutral.

“after forcing me to get you a milkshake..will you finally speak?”

your mouth opened in surprise, a small smile appearing on your face.

“force?” you asked, a small chuckle coming out.

“i think i chose the right word. you said nothing but ‘follow me’ after i asked you if we could talk about it!” he replied with a smile.

well he wasn’t necessarily wrong. but you didn’t expect him to follow you, or pay for your food, or look at you with such an endearing expression.

“well..what do you want to talk about?” you coughed out guiltily.

a grin appeared on his face, his head tilting to stare at you more efficiently.

“were those letters real?”

“i’m not sure what letters you’re talking about. maybe if you considered telling me what they said id be able to respond effectively” you responded.

“you’re like a robot” he said with a laugh.

you shrugged your shoulders, biting your straw to try to not show your utter fear.

pepe’s face became slightly red, his eyes not meeting yours.

“what? what’d they say?” you asked with genuine concern.

you felt the embarrassment a mile away. if pepe was getting second hand embarrassment, you didn’t even want to know.

“nevermind! don’t say it! please i rather not hear it..” you interjected.

he finally looked at you, sensing you about to say more.

“look, i haven’t written a single letter since sophomore year. i don’t even want to know what it said but just know that it’s most likely really old! and not important or relevant anymore.” you explained with a loud sigh.

“it’s not relevant anymore?” he asked.

“yeah probably not. i totally forgot what i was talking about in those things” you said with a very fake chuckle.

“oh…” he let out, an unreadable expression on his face.

“so, don’t worry about it anymore!” you reassured.

“alright..” he said with a hint of uncertainty.

you knew it was wrong to lie. you knew that lying was something you didn’t really want to do; however, lying was the only realistic thing to do.

often times, the things we can’t say are the most important.

you wish you could say that you were in love with him. but, you couldn’t.

you know that you never could confess to him. confessing to him meant that you’d have to move on, and that was something that you knew would never happen. liking him in silence was the best option, and your original option.

you guys quickly began to catch up, his voice and laugh and attentiveness making your heart skip a beat.

it was nice: when things were like this. his laughter filling your ears, your conversation never ending, and the reason why you guys were here seemingly being unimportant.

“you didn’t have to walk me home” you told, a small smile appearing nevertheless.

pepe smiled back, “the sun is setting. what kind of guy would let a girl walk home alone?”

“a normal guy” you replied back.

“well i am not normal”

yeah. he isn’t a ‘normal’ guy. that’s why things between you two can never happen.

when you both reached your front porch, you turned to face him.

“your house still looks the same!” he exclaimed

you giggled, “of course. you know that my mom hates changing things”

pepe laughed, “yeah. you’re right about that one.”

“pepe! is that you?” a voice called.

“oh speaking of her!” you let out with an amused chuckle.

“oh! good evening tía!”

“pepe! oh wow look at you, you look so handsome!” your mom sang as she approached him.

“thank you..” he shyly nodded.

“come over for dinner someday, okay?” she said with a smile.

pepe nodded with a small smile, “i will”

your mom nodded with a pleased expression, slowly putting her hand on your shoulder.

“it’s cold out. let’s go inside now”

“alright!” you said.

“see you again tía! bye (name)” pepe waved.

your mom waved and you said goodbye, a warm smile appearing on your face.

“it’s been a while since i’ve seen pepe. it’s nice to see him. bring him over for dinner sometime” your mom commented.

“yeah, okay.” you agreed.

it has been a while. i guess it wouldn’t hurt to invite him over again.

[smileybasics]

Defending @lil-liaa

I usually don’t post in this blog cause i have other ones but i don’t think this is being fair, me and Lia have been moots for a year and I have seen all her work over the years, I don't know a more creative person than her and I have been with her while she makes her moodboards by call and it is simply impressive the hours she invests in doing it, today I She wrote so devastated and we made a call talking, she has worked on this for so long, I remember how excited she was when she reached 1k, what I mean is that her community and her blog are very important to her, these people are accusing her because three Posts are similar to those of other blogs and that seems stupid to me since you have not even seen her other posts to know if she really makes an effort or not, Lia has made collages, dividers, banners, and a lot of other things, to she is really passionate about digital art and the only time she left her blog was because of the loss of a loved one and the truth is I don't care how many people are going to believe me after this post I just want them to leave her alone, here I am attaching some evidence...

This doesn’t even have so much in common just a three pics, in case you don’t know how moodboards are made, 2 or more colors are taken as a base and the images that best match the tones are searched on Pinterest, not only what she "copied" are just two photos but she also made a divider and a collage

Here’s just pinterest pics (proofs that are from pinterest in keep reading) and again i saw a lot of rude comments towards her that so unfair and hurt feelings cause considering how long Lia has been on her blog it's like invalidating all her hard work!!

In this post she even clarify that the divider isn’t made by her but the collage it is, also it’s just 2 pics that are similar!

This pictures are from pinterest, everyone can use it!

People bullying her

This doesn't just happen on the internet, but in real life, one of Lia's moots simply republished the post where they accused her of copying, she asked him/her why he/her did it so quickly, If they were supposed to be moots, if someone betrays you so quickly without questioning anything, they were never your friend and instead of responding privately she/him made a post just to make her/him moots laugh and the comments are gross, my god it's disgusting, this is directly bullying, if you are a thinking person and if you have ever had some kind of link you should try to talk something privately instead of calling the crazy girl and tagging all your moots so they can laugh, the worst thing is that you can tell that this girl only wants interaction because when she and Lia were chatting she threatened Lia with blocking her but then when Lia blocked her she made another post like "she blocked me" it's like, besides being a treacherous rat you can't have the decency to talk to her about it, Lia has been so nice to everyone but after all, this is where you can see who the ones who truly supported her are, and not the fake friends.

I'm not going to censor his/her username, he deserves it, tumblr is as much as real life, the importance of moots is like friends in real life, because if you want you can just harass someone and all your friends will laugh without question anything.

Also, Lia has a tutorial of a lot of things that she made! If she knows how to do it, why would she steal or copy from other blogs?

She has tutorials of gifs, texts, banners, etc, if she really stole and copy, why she knows how to do it by herself?, and if she knows how to do it by herself she doesn’t even need to stole!

LIKE SHE DIDN’T CARE?! Sorry but this is so wrong, i can tell that, SHE CARES, all these people who are making posts mocking her and calling her crazy because according to them she "copied" three measly posts, when if I were in her place and all my years of work were at stake I would also act like a crazy person because it's worth it, here it is demonstrated clearly her hypocrisy, if Lia wants to defend all her hard work or defend herself from bullying by blocking you she is crazy but if she makes a post explaining everything it seems like she doesn't care, this frustrates me so much

Here more evidence of Lia’s drafts

Just a few of her drafts

And last but not least I want to give credit to Lia's great work these years, so you can see that there is a true artist behind all this nonsense controversy, here are some of her moodboards, my personal favorites that I can't imagine how much time it would have taken

Extra: “Lia we know it’s you” Don’t acuse me of being Lia, i’m just a real friend

Evidence: Contact of Lia and me

Hi guys, it's come to my attention that someone in the moodboard community known as lil-liaa has been copying / taking heavy "inspo" from other creators like @y-unjins and @iluvrei view more for more info + evidence + my opinions on the whole situation

before i start, i'm not trying to run lil-liaa off the platform nor am i trying to stur up drama, this is just to bring light to the situation as not many people know and many people (including myself) defended her when this first happened, i also want liia to realize that what she's doing isn't right and that she shouldn't just brush off "accusations" like these when there is evidence.

proofs

you can see the similarities as lil-liaa used 3 of the exact same pics as iluvrei's including one edited by the original creator without adding credits to the post.

2nd

here you can instantly tell that the moodboard was copied (lil-liaas on the right being an exact replica of y-unjins), only changing 2 pics excluding the idol change and

3rd / last

lastly, you can see how one lia used the exact same divider (+ didnt give creds), two she uses the same images not only in the moodboard but also in her gif (same pics from y-unjins moodboard including the png)

now, lil-liaa was sent multiple anonymous ask from last year and one recently accusing her of stealing moodboards, although a lot of people defended her last year including me due to the ask having no sorts of proof of moodboards being stolen and no one else speaking on it but now the recent ask she has received included proof and her response to it was very (in my opinion) rude and just sounded like she didn't care.

in my opinion, i don't believe this was just a draft she had premade and i don't believe she somehow got the same exact photos from y-unjins moodboard recommended, i believe since this isnt the first accusation and now there's proof of this i believe she has been copying moodboards since last year when she was accused. i don't believe lil-liaa cares about this, the fact she's stealing from other creators and when she gets called out for it she pushes it off with the same excuses

tags

@miujo @rkkuri @lvioung @ciestial @aeraras @sugarish @gyareii @i-kyujin @daddldee @i-mmaculatus @haerinism @chaeryeos @bloomqi @h-yeoni @p-oisn @bitchey @yeritos @yonkiibums @y-vna @y-urios @fairytopea @shuaver @yeoniis

[bloggingboutburgers]

I had a wake up call about fandom by scrolling today. It's linked to both the fact that I write and my asexuality.

The post was about how people don't consider writers as artists. It remembered me a post talking about how artists are better than writers who just write fetish porn.

And it remembered me. Isn't it all that people care about when it come to fanfic anyway? Writing their otp kissing and then sleeping together?

I wrote literally only gen fic for all my teens years. You imagine that I am used to be ignored. Today, I hate posting my fics, even if I write more who are romantic.

The reviews change nothing. To me, people will never consider the effort I put in my writing because nobody kiss and have sex.

I see this outside of fandom too. Two of my favorite story get its theme ignored because it wasn't a romance despite the male and female lead being close. They just ignore everything that happen just because they deluded themselves that there were romance between them

Because what else could it be? Why else would they read or write fic?

I'm tired that they lead how society view relationship. I hate their obsession for romance and sex that I talk about on the microcosm but apply in an even worst way in real life where my parents think that my best friend talking to me less should be normal because she have a boyfriend (she's busy because of her job but they don't believe me)

It's worst in media for women even if I'll talk only about shojo here, were even if the heroine claim to not want love some stereotypical asshole with a heart of gold will steal hers later.

I hate being a writer in that environment. I hate knowing that I'll change nothing. Even if some people like my ideas I know that on a large scale it's nothing.

...OK, I know we talked about that in private since this message already, that I'm replying to this super-late and I hope I'm not reopening any old wounds, I'm so sorry if I am...

...But tbh I'm still gonna share this as it is and not comment further because... Agreed tbh. I don't write (aside from comics), I don't engage in fandom actively anymore because of such reasons, so I have no idea how to make this better, but... At least visibility of such messages has to account for something I hope, and I don't know if sharing it here will accomplish a lot, but it's the least I can do anyway.

And I'm so sorry I'm doing it so late T^T

[doledition]

whitney and affection

so. not a whitney fucker. a semi whitney enjoyer. yet there's something so...fascinating about whitney, so demented and truly strange about their behaviors, that makes me want to psychoanalyze them.

dolville, as we all know, is Rape Capital. Rape-Opolis. The super capital of getting abducted and violated. violation is the name of the game in dolville, whether it's mental physical or emotional. even characters who are considered fairly 'tame' or vanilla, also have their moments of violation- whether it be sydney during the rite of defilement (though it's arguable as to what extent sydney was fully lucid during it) to losing affection with robin if you refuse to sleep w them.

affection is tainted in dolville. it is a display of control, given by force. whitney is perhaps our most egregious example besides well. eden.(and i can do a lot on eden). whitney, from the onset, is violent. our first interaction w them is getting their knee shoved into our crotch. that is how we are introduced to them- as a menace, a violator. they're the most 'antagonistic' out of all the main li's right off the bat. i remember reading somewhere that vrel views whitney as a 'main antagonist' in dol, along with kylar and eden, though i could be off base with this.

anyways, even as we continue throughout the game, whitney is still the same level of cruel to us as in early game, except with more tender moments to balance it out. still, these methods of expressing affection remain a constant throughhout the game, even with high love. (granted, the dom and lust level also affects how whitney treats us but we'll get to that) whitney oftentimes takes on the role of a pimp for the player. there are many, many instances of whitney randomly grabbing the player up, as though in a scene of goodwill, and then marching them over to some rando in the park to pimp. and rest assured, you still won't be making any money, even at high love.

regardless of any amount of affection, really, whitney's behaviour continues to be cruel and violating, with no regards for pc's comfort. yet, there are tender, almost kind moments interspersed throughout our interactions with whitney. whether it's borne out of actual love for the pc or a need to display 'dominance' over them is well, debatable.

this does not negate, however, whitney's deep affection over the pc. whitney treats us how they were taught to treat others, not with respect but through a display of dominance, a need to prove how 'tough' and in control they are. whitney does not truly see pc as a person, but a toy-one they like, of course, but still a toy. pc's autonomy is nothing in their eyes, but a pesky thing to constantly contest with.

some people may say this is because whitney is just attempting to gain status, and inclusion, into their group of friends. however, while that may partly factor into why whitney treats pc as a prop, i'd argue that this isn't entirely the reasoning. i'd say whitney, at the end of the day, views pc more as a thing- a fun little thing, desperate and barking to play with-instead of a person.

this is magnified by pc's every move-if pc gives into them, this image is further solidified. if pc fights back, it beguiles them, entrances them to know more. we are treated very differently than whitney's other victims, entirely there's to torment. circling back to my earlier point of affection, whitney's treatment of the pc, their way of showing affection, is dependent on pc being a site of stress relief, a toy to play with, one without any capability of feeling any real animosity towards whitneys actions.

tl;dr: affection is violence, a display of strength, and cruelty to whtney. to get someone to love you, as the town has shown, you cannot respect them as a person. you must display your strength, and your great ability for violence and control. affection without violence and cruelty is not affection at all, now is it? (i wrote this pseudo-analysis on a whim very tired and without cross referencing the game so if there's something i'm missing or misinterpreted please let me know. also i probably just rehashed a bunch of Very Obvious Things so uh. twirls my hair.)

[hivemuthur]

What was that? - Ch. 1.

viktorxfemale!OFC mature! (for now, I will mark later chapters as explicit when the time comes

friends to lovers, co-workers, sexual tension up to the wazoo, pinning and banter that got me frustrated when I was writing it, attempt at humour, some angst and a slow burn with a happy ending and a classic Viktor for once

to be added: Ch.2. | Ch.3. | Ch.4. | Ch.5. | Ch.6 | Ch.7. | Ch.8. | Ch.9. | Ch.10. | Ch.11. | Ch.12. | Ch.13. | Ch.14. | Ch.15.

word count: 4,6K

tag: #what was that

summary: A romance that explores two insecure people growing closer together through snippets of their time at work.

author’s note: Can I post three things a day? Yes. This is the first fic I've written and I love it dearly. It connected me with @rennethen who has been beta reading it patiently and helped me create significant parts of it, and for that connection alone it was worth to write it.

Cross-posted on AO3

—

“Renly, are you being serious right now?” John stormed into the lab’s kitchen visibly flushed with anger. Renly only blinked at him, a question in her eyes.

“I guess? Didn’t you get my note?” She definitely remembered sending the note asking John to take a raincheck. She even made a song about it to not forget, like the last time. Viktor had mocked the song at first but later grew annoyed with it.

”Please stop, this song is now rotting my brain. I get it, John is a nice guy,” Viktor rotated on his chair with a groan that has clearly been building up for at least one minute.

“Sorry, it’s the only way I don’t get distracted and forget!” to Viktor’s demise, Renly sang this line as well.

“Well, didn’t you get my note?” John said, already huffing, seemingly offended. He did get her note, he did see the little heart she drew on it and a coffee stain that suggested she wrote it hastily, while doing something else with her other hand. So, he sent a passive aggressive jokey note back stating that it’s tomorrow or he doesn’t know when, because he is also oh-so-busy.

“I can’t make it otherwise,” he laid his hands apart in apologetic gesture.

“Like… this week? Or ever?” light mockery in her voice, she said with her back to John, while pouring coffee into two cups. “It’s okay, we can have breakfast here. Do you want coffee?” Renly pulled out the third cup from the sink and waved it at John expectantly.

At which point, Viktor entered their tiny lab kitchen, scrunching his wet hair with a damp towel, his cheeks flushed and clothes slightly dishevelled, clinging to his hot-after-shower body. “Do I smell coffee? Hi John,” he said, waving at the doorway.

“Nothing will hide from you. Crisis averted?” Renly asked referring to fifteen minutes ago, when Viktor banged viciously on the bathroom door, demanding shower access immediately, as he spilled suspicious fluid from Renly’s workstation all over himself.

She said it was punishment for snooping. He said she’d taken his favourite pen, and her workstation was planned ridiculously, making moving around risky. Also, she took showers that lasted forever. She said her shower was only fifteen minutes, which is perfectly within bounds of morning toilet routine. He said she should shower at home and sleep at home; otherwise, she would end up a social pariah like him and Jayce. She said it’s a bit late for that as night is a perfect time for quiet work and she is one person away from the social pariah status. She meant John. So right now, it really did look like she was close to adding it to her work signature. She had to evacuate from the bathroom before she had the chance to dry off completely, which is why her hair was wet.

“Did you shower together?” John’s tone gained additional pitch to it as he asked his ridiculous question, visibly getting more and more distressed.

“Yes, John. We also have occasional orgies that I forgot to mention,” Renly couldn’t help about the snarky comment but when she turned around to take a look at her… boyfriend? They went out about ten times and slept together twice, so she guessed he was her boyfriend already. Well, he looked hurt, and she immediately wished she didn’t say it, no matter how ridiculous it sounded.

“Please, don’t be like that. I pulled an all-nighter again, and it was too late to go home. We showered separately, obviously,” she said in a softer voice as the cups were placed on the tiny table in the middle of the kitchen, only three chairs.

“I will give the two of you some space,” Viktor swept his cup with Jayce’s face on it and gave both of them polite smile as he walked out faster, than Renly thought he was able to.

“So… are you very cross with me?” she waited for Viktor to leave the area and asked reaching out to place her palm on top of John’s forearm, but he winced away.

John had always been good at making himself seem indispensable. When they first started seeing each other, his charm felt effortless—little gestures like remembering her favourite tea or distracting her with a ridiculous joke when she was too stressed to focus. She had let her guard down with him in a way she rarely allowed herself to. It had felt safe, comforting even. But lately, the cracks in that façade were harder to ignore. He got offended easily and threw some stupid accusations at her when he was out of arguments. She did admit, she was quite oblivious to some of relationship savoir-vivre, but it was also discussed priorly! And he said he doesn’t mind, so the next part caught her off-guard.

“I… don’t think this will work out this way,” he said with a sigh and waved his hand around making her question if he meant them, or breakfast with Victor in near vicinity. “I didn’t know this is what I was signing up for frankly,” he finished and gave her a sad puppy glance. This made her… angry? Of course, he knew what he was signing up for. She told him from the very beginning how important her work was. And how bad she was at this, but he just called her cute. Surely, this was enough of a warning. Or maybe it wasn’t but John really didn’t seem like he heard anything of what she ever said in the long run.

He was a Piltie, and she was from Zaun. He liked posh places that were trying to pass as casual, she liked to hang out by the riverbank in the evenings and sneak into The Undercity to look at street art and eat street food. He always seemed to pay attention to what she was telling him about her lab work and how many lives it could potentially change but at the end of every test presentation and heated one-sided conversation (it was hot on her side only) when she looked at him expectantly, he praised her with a you are so smart or you look pretty when you get excited about science and it left her empty of all air like a sad balloon in the aftermath of a party. He probably had a politician’s career ahead of him, so in the future, he would be the person to decide whether she does or doesn’t get funding for her research and in her mind’s eye John was a person that would probably happily fund something else than the medicine for long term Grey exposure symptoms. But he was a good practice for that. And despite everything else, she did like him. He had his moments, as they say.

In a few seconds, that took very long in the pocket dimension of her brain, Renly tried to calculate how much fault in this situation was hers and if it was worth to back down and give him a peace offering in form of a dinner at her place, that she would cook, and they would be alone, and it would be romantic, and he would probably get to fuck her on the dinner table.

The plan started forming itself, when John said “I mean… you spend all your free time here, or you drag me around the lanes. Also, this Viktor guy? I got over Jayce, recently he is barely here. So…” he dragged his huge eyes across her face looking for a sign of understanding that wasn’t there “…you understand how I feel when you spend most of your time with another man.” It came out weak, but he decided to stand by it.

��Another man? It’s Viktor,” she scoffed. “Not even a day ago he stated how much I disgust him with Zaunian food in fridge. He works all the time. We sleep in separate rooms. He…” Renly inhaled, exasperated by this accusation. It’s ridiculous, how insecure John was to even suggest that.

“He is a friend. And that’s all. I assure you he is not interested in me.” She had a dead serious certainty about this. If something was fixed in this universe, it was the fact that Viktor wasn’t interested in her. And she didn’t think of him that way either. Except the one time she let her mind wander, and she did. Which was a lie, because she thought that at least twice.

Once, when they met for the first time. She already knew Jayce, who made her gasp the first time she saw him. The impression passed, but friendship remained. Jayce and Viktor, freshly acquainted, were passing her classroom when a quake shook The Uppercity. It caused one of her test tubes to fall into the vial she was working on, breaking and triggering a teeny-tiny exoenergic reaction (it exploded). The hero within Jayce’s body drove him straight in to help any casualties, of which the only one was Renly, face full of colourful goo. From the floor, she glanced at Viktor walking in shortly after his partner, and she gasped, even more than when she had met Jayce. She immediately knew it was wrong to look for so long. Her suspicion was confirmed when Viktor’s expression shifted from amusement to the realization that his brief chance to present himself as more than the guy with a cane had passed. From that point forward, he was very formal with her, though he occasionally joked about history repeating itself within the academy walls.

It was a lie though, as well. She first saw Viktor by the riverbank in Zaun, as a child. She had been maybe seven, and he could have been slightly older. Her eyes, round and curious, followed him trying to chase down his mechanical ship taken by the stream. She tried to shadow him that day, but he disappeared in the mouth of a cave she was afraid to walk into. He had a smaller cane then and she thought him a magician. So, she only lingered in disbelief that their paths crossed once more and that he was, indeed, real. And also, in awe of how beautifully he has grown up. But overall, Renly counted it as a one time.

Second time, after she decided to stay at university to continue her research and teach students, they were copying the notes together and Jayce was growing more and more bored, so he kept trying to start random topics.

"I wonder if all of them are as pretty as Mel,” he said, trying to trace down beautiful Mel Medarda’s heritage while fishing for reassurance from his friends about their imminent romance.

“But maybe it’s not a rule. I mean, looking at the both of you I would say the rule for Zaun is to be full of attractive people as well,” Jayce was waffling on, and Renly grew tired of it.

“And ugly people. And short people. And tall people. And fat people, and skinny people, Jayce. It’s all just people, like in Piltover, there is no rule to here or Zaun. Initially, it’s the same city, and we all come from different places,” she said harshly not lifting her sight from the notes she was copying.

“Oh relax, it was a compliment! And I am looking for reassurance from you guys, yes,” he traced his finger down the blackboard, wiping some of the old equations away.

“Not very progressive of you, the Man of Progress. I can give you reassurance – Mel seems fine. You will be fine. You are a big boy, Jayce. But I do not need compliments, not because I’m from The Undercity, nor because I’m a woman,” Renly’s dead stare made Jayce look for help from Viktor. She gave him a pass and went back to scribbling.

“Vik, any help?”

“I’m afraid with this one I have to place myself in Renly’s corner. Even though of the two of us, I probably am the one that needs compliments,” Viktor also didn’t glance up from above his paperwork.

“No, you don’t,” Renly didn’t notice she now got the attention of both of her friends.

“You are, yourself, quite…” her mind was absent at this moment, so it was probably the other part of her that spoke the rest “…dreamy.” A second past, in which her brain caught up with her mouth and a deep shade of red bled into her cheeks and chest. She cleared her throat, stood up quickly and threw barely audible excuse me leaving the boys to exchange their looks and make their fun of her. Jayce snorted when Renly was out of hearing range and Viktor only mouthed a what was that? That was the second time, infinitely more mortifying than the first one.

“You put a lot of effort into assuring me of this, but you never once said if you are not interested in him. From where I’m standing, you are definitely not interested in me,” John’s voice broke her out of reminiscing.

Renly’s face went into stupid mode, twisting her features with disbelief. How dare he.

“Are you really saying what I’m hearing? Are you accusing me of infidelity based on your own insecurity? Have I truly given you any reason to believe I’m involved with anyone else but you? When do you think I would have time for that? Or do you actually not listen to me when I tell you about what I’m doing here and how much of my time and energy it consumes?” John’s expression grew more and more panicked as he saw how far he has overstepped.

“This is not… I didn’t…”

“What you didn’t do is think. You are the one who is not interested in me, John. You listen to me, but you do not register, nor remember anything I tell you. What do you want from me? Should I drop everything I’m doing just to dangle from your shoulder at the parties? Should I change the way I speak? Should I cut all my friends and relatives loose because they are from The Undercity? Would that make you feel secure enough?” she spat at him, becoming more and more angry with every sentence, self-winding regret fuelling her.

“Gods, this is not what I want, and you know it,” John brought his hand to the back of his neck, his voice gentler this time. “I just don’t feel like you want me around, is all,” he whispered, his words making Renly’s shoulders drop and her chest sink.

His fingers tapped an idle rhythm on the table, his eyes darting toward the adjoining lab room. It wasn’t the first time she’d caught him stealing glances at her colleagues’ workspaces, but she had always dismissed it as idle curiosity or stupid jealousy, first over Jayce, then over Viktor. Now, though, every stolen glance felt like a clue she should have picked up on sooner.

“I do,” she hesitated. “I did. I invited you to meet my people, come to my home, my work, my bed,” at which point, in the other room, Viktor—who was doing his absolute worst not to listen—squeezed a piece of chalk a little too hard, causing half of it to disintegrate into dust with a loud, whiny, bone-chilling sound that gave him goosebumps at the back of his neck. So, they slept together, great. Just great. It didn’t bother him at all, and yet… it bothered him greatly for some reason. Probably just because she will be a nightmare to be around for the next week or so.

Ridiculous, Viktor thought, though the word didn’t carry the weight he wanted it to. What did it matter who she invited into her bed? It certainly wasn’t his concern. The tightening in his chest wasn’t jealousy—it couldn’t be. No, it was irritation, that’s all. Irritation because she was so impulsive, so reckless, letting herself be distracted by someone so undeserving of her attention.

Why did it bother him? It wasn’t the first time she’d been entangled in some personal drama, and usually, he had the patience to tune it out. Yet here he was, bristling at every raised word, every pointed jab from John. It wasn’t his place to care. He had told himself years ago that people like Renly—bright, chaotic, and distractingly beautiful—were nothing but a complication. And yet, he found himself gripping his cane tighter every time John’s voice rose.

“Just realistically, I don’t think this is what you want. So, the obvious choice would be to put a pin in it until we both decide what we want,” her voice faltered. Breaking things off with John hadn’t been part of her plans for the day, and she could never have been emotionally prepared for this—especially not before breakfast. She wasn’t really breaking things off with him, either. Maybe a short, temporary break would do them good, cool things off. She fidgeted with her fingers under the table, becoming increasingly self-conscious about how much of the conversation Viktor had overheard.

“Really? So now it’s about me not respecting your Zaunian heritage, instead of you blowing me off at every opportunity?” at this point John knew that guilting her into giving it one more shot was probably his only chance. His father really wanted those hextech blueprints, and he would be very disappointed if John didn’t manage to get them. “Look, I don’t mind if we hang out here at all. But truth be told, you don’t really invite me here very often,” John said, his voice softer now, but there was an edge beneath it, like a scalpel disguised as a pen.

He had a way of twisting her words, making her feel like the selfish one for not prioritizing him more. It was a skill he wielded well, and for a moment, it almost worked. But the memory of all those little disappointments—the times he had brushed off her work as "just another experiment" or barely listened when she explained her progress—bubbled up like a pressure valve ready to burst. He did actually like her. She was his type – pretty, quirky, talented and driven. She could be a bit more elegant, but that would be polished with time. “We could make a schedule, meet here when nobody is around? Maybe you could even show me some hextech, hm?” with this, he knew he probably pushed a little bit too far, as her expression grew weary.

There it was again, that same calculated curiosity masked as casual conversation. At first, she had chalked it up to natural interest—what Piltover scholar wouldn’t want to know more about hextech? But now, with his eyes lingering too long on the blueprints and his questions steering the conversation in predictable directions, she couldn’t shake the feeling that this was about more than idle fascination.

“I… you know I don’t work with hextech,” she shook her head while her brain was glueing the pieces together. “Why would you…,” and it hit her gently, prompted by the guilt painting her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend’s face. Unbelievable. When she thought about it longer, he did usually snoop around innocently while waiting for her to wrap up work. He would wander between the lab rooms, seemingly just killing time, but she saw him linger on the blueprints more than once. When she told him about her experiments, he always drove the discussion towards Viktor and Jayce’s work. How are they doing? So does this hextech actually work? And what do they want to use it for again? And he tried to pin it on her sleeping with Viktor. The audacity.

Renly wanted to believe the relationship had been real, that it hadn’t just been about her work or her connections. But as she stared at him now—his charming smile just a little too polished, his words just a little too well-placed—she realized how many times she had ignored her instincts. How often she had pushed aside the nagging thought that he didn’t see her, not really. Just the parts of her that were useful.

“So… you come here and make a scene about the note that you seemingly wrote for me and that I didn’t get. You accuse me of cheating on you with my colleague,” at which point Viktor scoffed to himself in the other room. The idea of Renly and him being a thing was laughable. She was too stubborn, too unpredictable, too... distracting. And yet, John’s misplaced jealousy had struck an uncomfortable chord. Absurd, Viktor reassured himself. If anything, she deserves better than someone like me. She deserves better than both of us.  

“You propose a solution – let’s hang out here,” Renly exhaled, and her eyes rested on her hands with the realization of being used all this time hitting her hard. She didn’t think she cared that much. Frankly, having a normal secure relationship also with someone normal and secure was a hope she didn’t dare to entertain very often. It was mostly work and friends for her. So, when John came along, she just let it happen, as maybe, she thought, it was a good thing happening to her. Realizing there was no love in it, left her feeling numb.

In the other room, Viktor stopped pretending to work and simply sat on a stool, his hands and chin resting on his cane. That was new territory, a kind of danger they hadn’t anticipated. Also, he did feel angry for Renly – annoying as she was, she really didn’t deserve this. He wondered if he should intervene and kick John out, but the act would have to be based on his authority, which as a fellow Zaunian in John’s eyes he had none. Any show of force would need to be purely verbal—calculated and precise enough to leave the boy speechless and make him back down without a fight. While he was negotiating the terms of this heroic act with himself, he heard Renly’s voice echoing across the corridors: “I think it’s best you go.”

“Can we talk this through?” one last desperate attempt on John’s side as he covered Renly’s palm with his. She slid her hand from underneath his, threw a quick no over her shoulder and stepped through a heavy metal door that separated living area form the laboratory. She locked it behind her with a loud crank and immediately sank to hug her knees. Well, shit. This wasn’t part of her plan for today. And she didn’t want to cry in front of Viktor. If Jayce was here, he’d make it better, but he was with the beautiful Mel Medarda having breakfast in her quarters, which was a secret. Viktor would make fun of her—or worse, he’d get cross for endangering their life’s work. On one side of the door, her mean ex-boyfriend, on the other her mean niggling friend. She could just stay here.

“Do you need help getting up?” Viktor’s voice made her gasp and release the tears that were gathering under her eyelids, now streaming down her cheeks. And just to be clear, they were angry tears, not sad pathetic tears.

“Maybe,” Renly said, wiping her face with a sleeve, unable to bring herself to look him in the eye. She accepted his offered hand, which was about to pull her up. Unfortunately, the sudden movement sent a cramp shooting down Viktor’s calf, leaving Renly standing while he folded in half.

“Oh shit, Viktor I’m sorry, let me grab a stool!”

“Ah, no need. It’s fine. Just a cramp, it’ll stretch,” he panted, sliding down the corridor wall. She crouched down by him, question in her eyes about what to do.

“Well, where is it? I can… rub it out?” she heard herself saying and a darker shade of pink flushed her already enflamed cheeks. Viktor noticed. Her hands were faster than her brain this time and she already had his calf in her grasp, looking for the knot.

The warmth of her hands startled him, a flicker of something unwanted creeping into his thoughts. He shut it down immediately. She’s just helping. Don’t make it into something it isn’t. But the gentleness of her touch lingered longer than it should have, and when she looked up at him, her face flushed with concentration, he had to look away. Focus, Viktor. This means nothing.

“How did you get this so bad, Viktor?” she gasped at the state of her friend’s muscle, contracted like a rusty hinge. Her eyes full of concern, and some guilt. She made him uncomfortable in his own lab, because of some stupid drama. Stupid, yet it tore a hole in her heart.

Viktor remembered this look. He remembered the way she had looked at him back when they first met—not the awestruck gaze she reserved for Jayce, but something deeper, sharper. It had unnerved him. People always noticed the cane first; it was a fact he had come to accept. But she had looked past it—no, she had lingered on it, and he wasn’t sure whether it was curiosity, pity, or something else entirely. It didn’t matter now. He had decided long ago to keep her at a polite distance.

“Too much sitting down, ah!” he gasped when more pressure was applied “I tried to work through your… quarrel,” Viktor’s voice grew breathier, his eyebrows pinching together. Absent-mindedly, he placed his right hand on Renly’s shoulder and closed his eyes, letting his body relax into her touch. She was very careful, almost… affectionate.

“I guess this would fuel John’s theory,” he chuckled slightly, forgetting himself. Did he just admit that something was possible? Renly was too focused on getting rid of the knot to notice the awkward grunt following this sentence, and without much thought to it she said, “don’t be ridiculous.”

Something sunk in Victor’s chest hearing that. Of course, it was ridiculous. He was ridiculous. All of it. He was about to figure out how to run away, take his leg with him and tell her this is good enough, when she continued.

“I mean, we are not responsible for someone’s insecurities. I refuse to be. Also, as I presume you heard all of it, you will know that it was all a play,” she put so much attention into rubbing Viktor’s calf that the words just went out of her mouth. “Just to get his hands on hextech. So, I’m guessing this accusation was also fabricated to guilt me. Or he was obsessed with you. Which I understand… gotcha!” she exclaimed as the muscle relaxed under her fingers, and Viktor gave an involuntary moan, making both of them flush slightly.

The tension in his calf eased, but his chest felt impossibly tight. He was about to thank her—briefly, formally—when the look on her face stopped him. She was glowing, not with the self-satisfaction he often associated with Jayce, but with genuine care. It was infuriating. No, not infuriating—irrelevant. Why do you even notice these things? he scolded himself, rising awkwardly to his feet and turning away before the warmth in her eyes could undo him further.

“Forgive me, I… thank you,” was all he was able to say.

“That’s… it’s nothing, no worries.”

“I believe you know this, but in case you don’t—he’s a donkey, and you’re brilliant, yes?” Viktor tossed over his shoulder. “Ah, I’m not… thank you,” she said, standing in the corridor, confused, her face burning. What was that?

[pennylane-dreams]

Apple Scruff Carol Bedford’s “relationship” with George Harrison Part 2

After returning to London in May 1970, Carol’s story becomes more “intimate” I would say as her “relationship” with George continues. The Apple scruffs witness the break up of the Beatles and the drama between everyone and even describes an incident where reporters physically attack George outside the studios and the scruffs help remove the reporter and get George to his car to escape, also making sure no one else attack the other members when they leave the building.

There are a few odd interactions with Mal but he was known for hitting on the scruffs. Margo warns the others that Mal uses your interest in one of the Beatles to make his own pass. I’m aware those incidents are described Living the Beatles Legend.

After staying almost all night outside the studios, the scruffs decide to call it a night and head home. Carol states on her way to where she’s staying, George’s car pulls up beside her. During this interaction, George gives her a book; The Autobiography of a Yogi by Yogananda. There's been a few people that have said that George would give out this book to friends and family.

“I want you to remember something that will help you,” George said, seriously. “God is in you and everyone. We all have God in us.”

The next day, Mal finds Carol and asks her if she read the book yet and said that George was “anxious” on her opinion of it.

There’s interaction Carol and George was when Carol was heading to her bus stop after leaving the studio. George’s car pulls up beside her and offers her a ride home, which she says yes to. It’s sad conversation, both of them are talking about depression and he talks about the pressure of being a Beatle and his lack of privacy. Carol offers him a number to a clinic where he can talk to someone about his depression. I can see one of them venting to a fan or to someone who will listen especially with everything that was happening during that time. Unfortunately, Carol just had to tell the others about the car ride and the talk they had which she shouldn’t have done. It’s not their business.

“This is special. You’re the only one of us to get close to one of them. […] I’ve had loads of conversations with Paul but none that personal. George was treating you like a friend. […]”

Jumping ahead to the day where Mal asks the girls to come into the studio. Entering the control room and are played the song Apple Scruffs for the first time which they was in awe. They thank George for the song and even gift him flowers later.

The 1970 Christmas party part was a little crazy to me. Carol sent George a letter, thinking he was making fun of them by coming out of the studio saying how “warm” it was in there and it’s cold outside. (No one making camp outside girly. That’s on you lol). During this conversation, it almost feels like a "confession" scene that George says while drunk.

“He [George] gently pushed me into a narrow area where the filing cabinets made a small box square. […] George stepped in front of me and leaned against the wall. He then pulled me closer in front of him. […]

'If you think of me, I'll be there. I'm with you always, in here.' he tapped my breast gently and removed his hand. 'I'm not sure what you mean by that. it would be impossible to "get over you." Every time I turn on the radio, I'll hear your voice. [...]". “I’ll [George] always be with you. We’re apart of each other. I wrote a song about us the other day. It goes like: I, I, I love you. You, you, you love me. We’re together always. We’re in each other. You don’t need to see me walk out of a building, do you?”

Who knows what happened at the party but drunk men can say pretty wild stuff.

As the story goes, Carol continues on with her small moments with George and her relationship with the other scruffs.

One of the craziest things she said in this book is implying that George wanted to start an affair with her by moving her into a LA apartment so he can visit her without the media finding out which of course doesn’t sound like George at all but this is Mal telling her that this is what George wants, only for Mal to force a kiss on her. So either Mal was telling the truth or wanting her to be vulnerable to make a move on her.

After this, she decides she needs to stop “waiting” outside the studio for George and move on with her life which is understandable. She does what she can to avoid him and the last time she saw George was when he entered the A&M Records (where she was working at the time) when he was creating his own label Dark Horse Records.

I know people don’t like Carol’s book and say she lied about most of the things in her book but I found it interesting and I’m not taking it to heart. I remember reading something about George being upset about the book, but I can’t remember where.

It does at first feel like reading someone’s diary but it takes a turn half way through. It does read a lot like fanfiction and if it was, it would probably do well on Wattpad to be honest.

Excerpts from Waiting for the Beatles and photo from fellow fan.

[tackykachowch]

By the way, did we ever talk about how stupid it is that they made Silco the reason Felicia died? I don't mean that he killed her personally, but that he jumpstarted violence on a peaceful protest. Because that's sooo who Silco is, right? A character who makes impulsive and poorly thought out decisions, right? A character who goes into a fight headstrong without carefully planning his moves and strategy and just YOLO-ing it, right? Right?? ......sigh

And don't even THINK about giving me the whole "wElL hE cHaNgEd SiNcE tHeN dUh" crap. Even s2 is smart enough to show us him writing something in a notebook in a flashback, which implies that he was the brains behind the Lanes' creation/revolution as a whole. And if he was he would never sabotage his own plans with something so stupid as throwing a single molotov at enforcers. Literally who does that???? Silco we know would probably organize an attack under the guise of a peaceful protest, but not just. Straight-up ruining just a regular peaceful protest. That's stupid. And Silco is the last character in arcane that would do something stupid. Literally the whole plot of season 1 relies on him being intelligent and sneaky with his plans are you kidding me.

[nico-sees-dead-people]

*nico just nods, he knows how hard its been for will and he kinda predicted somethijg like this he sits properly on tje ground and pats tje space next to him as a “cmer” gesture*

of course

*he takes out two of the first letters he wrote and begins to read*

dear will,

Mr D told (read forced ) me to write to you even though I exactly give these letters to you something about process processing my motions and it might even make me feel better which sounds like bullshitt to me but I’d rather not end up a dolphin so here we are, I love you and you have amnesia. I love you and you don’t even know my full name anymore. Its niccolo by the way niccolo di angelo it would be nice to hear you say it again I think, i suppose ill just tell you it in the morning we will find it out from one of the medical files. I wonder if it will still be the same as it was before when I hear it, will your voice still sound fond. Will it just be the doctor voice you use for everyone else? I’m not sure which would hurt more. I’m not sure I want to know, but I’ll tell you anyway my name I mean and I’ll keep coming to visit. how could I stay away? Youre still Will after all, even if right now you cant be mine. Ill always be yours though, no matter what, youre stuck with me im afraid, even if i do have to listen to all of your dad jokes again because you dont remember telling me (i actually secretly think theyre funny and since youll probablt never read this i can admit it safely). Its odd missing someone who is right there, youre still you after all, you still smile tje same, still have the same shitty fashion (no, neon green flipflops are not “in” amd have neber BEEN IN honestly william) but you dont smile at me the same and i cant help but he jealous of those you do

Well, I wrote my feelings and I still feel like shit and Mr D is a dirty liar but that’s really not a surprise.

love, nico

[in the morning]

*nico wakes before @dr-flipflops and sighs looking at him on the sofa so gently uses some shadows to move him into the bed, tucking him in and smoothing his hair back and scribbling a note reading “morning sleepyhead, here’s your reminder to drink some fucking water and eat more than a muffin and also to let your mother know that you have a cough or so help me hades solace ill do it myself, ill probably be gone when you read this because i have to pick aria up from sally’s but ill be back at somepoint because your mom made me promise, love you dont die see you soon” before whispering “love you” and leaving the room to speak to naomi*

nico: good morning mrs solace uhm.. sorry for intruding i didnt exactly plan to come it was more accidental shadowtravelling episode

naomi: nonsense, you know youre always welcome here, even after everythin’

nico (watery smile): yeah i know, how is he, will i mean, he doesnt seem.. happy

naomi: hes as well as he can be in this situation, he’d be doin’ better if he found it easier t’ let people in, if he let you properly communicate with him but… i also can’t blame him for his reaction

nico: neither can i, and i know i messed up, im trying to fix it i just- i don’t know how and.. *his voice breaks* i miss him and so does ari

naomi: *smiles gently at him* he does care about you nico, hes just hurtin’, he misses you too *she pulls him into a hug* it’ll be alright in the end

Nico: *fully crying now* thanks mrs solace

naomi: *pats him on the back softly* anytime sweetheart, now, you said you had somethin’ t’give me?

nico: ah, yes, *he pulls a thick bundle of letters out of his aviator jacket* its a collection of letters ive written to will throughout his amnesia, explaining.. well just about everything, when he says hes ready and wants to know then he can read all of them regardless if he wants to see me or not

naomi *smiling*: thats a lovely idea hon, very thoughtful of you, ill give them to him once you’ve gone back though, the topic is sensitive enough without…

nico *nodding*: without the added stress of my presence, i was just about to say that, besides i have to pick up aria from her aunt sally’s, she had a sleepover the past couple of nights

naomi: you should bring her, next time you come, i know will don’t remember but i do, an’ i miss my granddaughter

nico *smiling*: i will mrs solace dont worry, she misses you too, and thank you, for everything

naomi: dont thank me sweetheart its been my pleasure

*nico begins to wave goodbye before noticing will standing in the doorway*

[noteclan]

Noteclan: Moon 3

Start | Prev | Next

they're sooo. I am so proud of that Tallsilk and Ochrewillow scene. If anyone has any asks they want to send about any of the characters please do I would be So excited to talk more about them.

I'm also very excited about the newcomers! In game both Calakit and Bogpaw joined the clan, but in story, Bogpaw's still a fumbleclan cat. He's a mediator in game, technically existing but mostly there to help me sculpt the story. (Also: if anyone has advice on how to change who a mediator was mentored by, please help! I've tried to modify the code but there's clearly a place I haven't found yet)

also: by a Rough counting(I am sick currently and while I thought I was getting better apparently addition is beyond me rn), I've now drawn more than 100 panels of this comic! If I was doing the classic 3 panel updates lots of folks do I'd be on post 33.. jeez. makes me feel much better about how infrequently I post, LMAO

hope y'all have a nice rest of your day!

[not-the-aesthete]

it always hurts suddenly. without any warning. without anything triggering it. it just hurts. past self comes back. the scared kid. who knew nothing. the trauma. the hurt. quickly i hold myself and say- “you don't live in your past anymore. you're safe. you'll heal.”

[monkee-mobile]

okay random headcanon but peter likes to nuzzle with his nose!! he gets all smiley and snuggly and just nuzzles in!!

also the monkees set aside time in the day to snuggle, usually before they crash for bed. this probably starts sometimes in the 70s and continues as they get older

okay thank you bye!!!

[whereispearlescentmoon]

@solidwater05 @tinapaysmp I felt like I had to add to this in a reblog rather than a reply.

I had no idea that she was supposed to be evil in his POV originally because I hadn’t watched it (Pearl’s double life pov was the first life series thing I ever saw). So I was legit baffled when he came out swinging with “She’s been corrupting you this entire time!” Because to me it’s just baffling that anyone could think that. In Pearl’s pov is very clear that she is a deeply sad individual who is going a little cooky in isolation. I’m not going to comment on whether or not it’s proper RP etiquette to put that kind of storyline on someone, but I think Martyn may have made a bit of a blunder there definitely. We do have to remember that the players generally don’t watch each others POVs. It’s entirely possible Martyn has never seen Pearl’s double life POV and doesn’t know how events went down from her eyes.

In Martyn’s defense, the whole server kind of wrote her off as evil and deranged, hence why she kind of descended into full bloodthirsty when she was red. She ended up playing into what other people thought of her because she couldnt disprove it.

It also helps that part of her whole “going insane” arc is genuinely Martyn’s fault. He didn’t have to ditch her and blame her for the whole divorce thing in the first episode when going to the nether was his idea. He chose to not team up with her and to instead say it was her fault and try to chase after Cleo. So you could almost see it as him trying to deflect blame by blaming something supernatural rather than himself.

I also think that Martyn and Ren are maybe even larger contributors to the whole Scarlet Pearl thing than even Scott or Cleo. Ren called her a demon and said she had wickedness within her and brought death wherever she went after she did something admittedly reckless, but completely standard for the Life Series. And then Martyn played into it with the whole dog log thing, acting like Pearl was some evil spirit to be summoned via ritual. I think the only reason Pearl even entertained Martyn and Ren’s team up idea (however briefly) was out of sheer loneliness. But ultimately would that team up have even been worth it if it’s with two people who saw her as somehow supernaturally evil for literally no reason? She wasn’t even red at that point, no one had a real reason to fear her.

The Tilly being evil thing is, like you said, Martyn fully misunderstanding a situation and rashly deciding he knows the solution to a problem that doesn’t exist. I’ve said it before but Martyn plays extremely impulsively. Of course he tried to kill something he didn’t understand.

Listen I love Martyn’s watcher lore and his narratives as much as the next guy but there’s two instances of his lore straight up failing that I find extremely funny, and that you would would only really know if you’ve watched these two povs. Again, cannot emphasize enough, I love Martyn’s lore and he can do whatever he wants and it’s fun when other creators play into it (Jimmy being the best example) but it’s also very funny when they just don’t.

The first example is when he created that little story that actually Tilly was evil and corrupting Pearl into becoming Scarlet/Red/5 AM Pearl. This of course failed because he had no way of knowing that Tilly had already died when he went to fight Pearl in the finale, as only the owner of a wolf sees their death message. Also, the fandom at large rejected it because from Pearl’s POV, Tilly is her soulmate and her best friend, and is absolutely not evil.

The second is that Gem has her own Life Series lore, which again is only in her POV, that goes directly against his. Gem’s lore, which exists through her Empires and Hermitcraft series as well, is that she remembers literally everything and is willingly traveling across worlds to do things. So the whole “people are made to play the games and also don’t have emotions tied to the previous ones” doesn’t apply to her because she is just willingly participating and still feels exactly the same. Hence her intense beef with Pearl in Wild Life because she remembers Secret Life and the emotions connected to it. You could try to fit this into Martyn’s lore by making her a watcher or a listener, but it’s funnier to me if she’s just a special exception.

Honorable mention to ZombieCleo, Smajor, and Pearl who have also disproven the whole “no emotional ties to previous games” thing multiple times by being deeply emotional towards each other and towards other players about things that have happened in previous games. Cleo literally still felt bitter at Impulse for 3rd Life at the beginning of Wild Life and that’s beautiful.

[dootznbootz]

Odypen definitely and equivalently adore each other BUT I weirdly can't see them as the type to actually say "I Love you".

They still definitely vocalize their love for each other but it's more so in "My Joy", and "Extraordinary Woman", "Strange Woman/Man", etc. And very cheesy lines (both say some cheesy shit in the Odyssey, and he definitely does in the Iliad as well. "Joy like a drowning sailor seeing land" bit???)

I could see "I adore you" but even then, that's probably during very specific moments but the actual "I love you"??? I just typed it just now for fic shit and... It weirdly just didn't feel right and I don't know why. 😅

Idk maybe it's kind of because I see them as over the top in ways, they love wordplay and riddles and I think they'd almost think "...That's not good enough >:( " about it??? I don't know???😂

[water-weaving]

ok yeah i think i might be entering the critical Autumn Madness period actually