#this is so not a preemptive peace offering

[little-peril-stories]

“I’m…” Oh, why had she ever thought this would be a good idea? “I’m—I’m Bre…” Her voice failed her. What had she been thinking, coming here?

“Bree, huh?” The thief shifted, wincing as he straightened slightly. “The fuck kind of name is that?”

Curt drew closer again. “I told you to watch your tongue.”

The thief glanced up at him for only a instant before he looked back to Breanna. “Well, Bree, what the fuck do you want?”

[thebestandworstdayofjune]

snapdragons mean i'm sorry

summary: you own a flower shop down the street from Wade and Althea, and now Logan's apartment. You and Logan had grown quite close, until you hear him complaining about you through the door. A week later, he shows up at the shop, groveling wc: 2.0 k a/n: sorry about the delay with this one, things have been a bit crazy! I really enjoyed writing for worst!Logan, I think I'm considering a part two for this as well. This fic is based on this request! warnings: lots of hurt and comfort, reader uses she/her pronouns, confused and groveling Logan, Wade being a meddler, slight spoilers for the end of Deadpool and Wolverine

You were two seconds away from chucking the bouquet that you were working on clear across the room. Instead, you gently set the flowers down on your workbench and tightened your pony tail. Heaving a sigh, you snatched the broom out of it’s place leaning up against the doorway and made you way to the front of store. 

Usually, being surrounded by all of your flowers and specially curated knickknacks brought you a sense of peace. But so far today you’d broken two vases and stabbed your thumb on rose thorns maybe more than you’d ever done in your entire life. 

Being friends with a superhero (singular) was much less stressful than you’d thought it would be. Wade would stop in to the shop around once a week to buy flowers for Vanessa, always with a quick joke or two before being on his way. It wasn’t until he’d saved you from an attempted mugging a few years back that you’d really become close. And you’d been there for a lot. Through his break up with Vanessa, when he was nonstop moaning about how deeply he hated selling lightly used cars, and whenever he needed a second opinion about a new hair system he was perched on a second stool that now had permanent residence behind the counter, right next to yours. 

Being friends with superheroes (plural) was bringing a new host of issues. Namely, an accelerated heart rate and trouble forming your words in front of Wade’s new roommate. Wade had warned you that his new acquisition was prickly when he’d stopped over to invite you to the Welcome Home Pizza Party Palooza, according to the hand drawn invitation he’d proudly presented you. He’d lured you in with promises of meeting his new dog before dropping the bomb that there was an introduction to his roommate included in the package deal. You’d already agreed, and Wade was too busy rambling about how you were being moved up to from side character status for you to intercede with a made up reason you could no longer attend. 

You historically didn’t do well with meeting new people, and someone who was likely to snap at you at some point throughout the evening, by Wade’s estimations, was an even bigger hurdle. Even though you had worked yourself up enough to feel slightly sick to your stomach, you’d arrived at the party, armed with flowers for the new roommate and a mini bouquet of dog treats for Mary Puppins. Wade and Al’s apartment was full of familiar faces when you’d arrived. You were caught up in a conversation with Peter and Yukio for a few minutes before they’d asked about the flowers all but forgotten in your hands. You admitted they were a welcome home present, and Peter kindly pointed out where Logan was standing across the room. You’d thanked him, and made your way across the room. 

When you reached him in the kitchen, you stood quietly behind him, working up the courage to make your presence known. Ultimately, it was unnecessary, because he quickly turned around and greeted you with a crinkly-eyed smile that made your heart flutter against your better judgement. You’d shyly handed over the flowers, stuttering through the explanation of owning the shop down the street and apologizing preemptively if he didn’t like them, expecting a strong rebuttal. He certainly looked like the type of man to rebuff the offer of flowers in fear of appearing unmanly or some other nonsense. Instead, he took the flowers from you gently, thanking you. He turned away, searching through the cabinets before pulling out a novelty beer stein decorated with My Little Pony characters with a huff. Logan made quick work of depositing the bouquet in the beer stein, but he frowned at his work, clearly unhappy with the vase options. “So you’re the florist that he’s obsessed with.” 

You smiled to yourself, glad to hear that Wade wasn’t only kind to your face. “Are you kidding me?” Speak of the devil. Wade slung an arm around your shoulders, depositing your typical drink of choice in your hand. “More like worship the ground you walk on. I may be Marvel Jesus but I’m your disciple. The things she can do with a chrysanthemum.” He moaned in a way you had never heard someone while talking about a flower, of all things.

Logan shook his head, but before either of you could respond, Wade noticed Vanessa coming through the door and was at her side in an instant. You’d stood with him in the kitchen for a few moments, silent but comfortable. It wasn’t long before Althea had called everyone to the table, where you took your usual seat next to Althea and Vanessa. The evening had been comfortable and you couldn’t help but notice how naturally Logan and his daughter Laura fit into your strange little family. 

The next day, you’d stopped by their apartment armed with another bouquet, this one beautifully arranged in one of your favorite vases you kept in stock. You couldn’t shake the image of how disappointed Logan had looked with his options the previous night. Al had ushered you inside quickly, letting you know that the rest of the roommates had left her in the name of picking up some necessities for Logan. You’d dropped the vase on the kitchen counter, ruffled Mary Puppins’ hair and saw yourself out. 

Logan had come by to thank you at the store, startling you where you were working in the back. You’d fumbled one of your vases, sending it crashing to the ground. Logan was quick to usher you onto a stool, locating a broom and making quick work of the glass. You’d insisted you could take care of it, but he’d shot your down insisting that he would heal right up if he managed to cut himself and he didn’t feel like a trip to the ER. It should have stung, but there was a lightness to his voice and a twinkle in his eyes that instead had you fighting down the hear rising to your cheeks. 

After a few weeks, it was routine for you to stop by a couple nights a week after work, armed with a fresh set of flowers for the vase and some take out. Logan very well could have taken some home with him, as often as he was stopping by, but somehow you’d always get to talking and forget to bundle some up for him. He was immensely helpful around the shop, able to reach things on high shelves and move heavy pallets you would get in much more easily than you were able to. Wade’s stool had quickly become Logan’s but you didn’t much mind. 

Your hand had settled on the doorknob to their apartment, when two familiar voices faded in through the closed door. It was instinct to pause, you hand’t really meant to snoop. But the words hurt all the same. “I really am fond of her, but she could really stand to let up on how often she’s hanging around me.” Your heart started to hammer, frozen in the hallway. 

“I hear you peanut,” Wade was quick to respond. “Cling-ville USA, population her, amiright?” 

“Fuck off, you’ve been obsessed with her as long as I’ve known you.” Your heart sunk. Isn’t that what Logan had said, the first night you met? Wade was obsessed with you? As quietly as you could, you dropped your hand from the doorknob and backed away down the hall, hoping that their conversation was loud enough to drown out the sound of your retreating footsteps. You’d retreated down the hallway, quickly shooting Wade a text that you weren’t feeling well and wouldn’t be able to make it. 

You hadn’t seen them since. You knew it shouldn’t have mattered, but it stung. You’d moved their stool into the far back corner of the shop because as silly as it sounded, it made you sad to look at him. Thankfully, there had been a steady stream of customers to keep you busy for a while. But now, you were dead and your thoughts were drifting when the bell on the front door rang. You sent a silent thank you to the universe and rushed out to the front of the store. But the customer waiting for you was the only one you were reluctant to see. 

You hated to admit it, but the image of Logan standing in the middle of your showroom, shoulders slumped and one of the most regretful looks you’d ever seen on anyone was almost enough for you to forgive him on sight. Close but no cigar, one could say.   

“Hey, sweetheart” he said sheepishly, hands shoved into this pockets. 

If this is how he was going to play it, so be it. “Hey, Lo. Where’ve you been?”

“Laura needed some help at the mansion, and they roped us into a mission. Meant to call but,” he shrugged, scratching the back of his neck. “Got a bit busy.” You nodded, doing your best to remember that you were mad at him. Stopped by for some flowers, if you have a minute.”

You nodded curtly, shocked that he wasn’t bringing up the obvious tension. He wasn’t one to beat around the bush. “What kind are you looking for?” 

“Eh, whatever you think says ‘Sorry, I fucked up’ the best” he shrugged, making his way behind the counter. 

“Who else did you piss off?” You asked, arranging a few more pieces of greenery into the bouquet he had requested. Even if you were frustrated and moody, you couldn’t bring yourself to make something you weren’t proud of. 

“Where’s my seat sweetheart?” He asked, before taking a pause. “What do you mean who else?” He asked, cocking his head to the side. 

“What do you mean ‘where’s my seat’?” You mocked, doing a poor imitation of his gruff voice. 

“Okay, you’ve gotta catch me up here, sweetheart because I clearly missed something.” 

“Wouldn’t wanna cling on too hard, are you sure you want me to do that?” You snarked, dropping the bouquet on the table and storming over to him, poking your finger into his chest. “I heard the both of you complaining about me last week.” 

Logan’s hand wrapped around yours, drawing it closer to his chest. “I was coming in here to apologize for being gone for a week. But I’m happy to double the order to make up for the confusion. If my math is right, bub, you overheard me complaining about that fucking dog insisting on sleeping on my bed. Even after I told Wade to keep her out of my room.” 

“You love her.” 

“Yeah, you know me too well sweetheart.” 

You smiled up at him, soaking in the warmth of having him this close, when something clicks in your head. “Are you telling me that you waltzed in here and asked me to make my own apology flowers?” If you hadn’t already decided he was off the hook, the way his mouth turned down into a little pout would have sealed the deal. 

He hesitates for a few moments, eyes glancing around the shop seemingly in search of an answer. “Didn’t want to give the business to someone else.” He shrugged, bashfully.  

Against your better judgement, a few giggles slipped past your lips, which had been firmly pressed together. A few more, and then you were laughing so hard you were having trouble breathing. You leaned your head against his chest, taking measured deep breaths to curve the laughter “I can’t believe this,” you gasped, wiping a few tears away that had spilled onto your cheeks.  You grinned up at him through the tears, taking in the way his eyes warmed when he smiled. 

“Could have been worse,” he shrugged, mischief making his eyes sparkle. “Could have gone with Wade’s suggestion.”

“I have to know.” 

He slipped both his arms around you, pulling you in close. “Wanted me to jump out of a cake.” 

You snuggled in close, leaning your head on his chest. “I would like to see it.” 

“Then we’ll have to see what we can do about that.” 

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

A Chance

A co-workers, enemies to friends piece for you guys!! Here's the Masterlist for this series!

Warnings: mentions of cheating, rude/snippy remarks, alcohol use

WC: like 3-4k?

If there was anyone that frustrated the living daylights out of you in the office, it was Harry. You swore that God had designed him with the sole purpose of irritating you. You didn’t hate him, you didn’t know him that well. But you didn’t get on well with him; you were just opposites and often times had opposing views or solutions for things. He wasn’t lazy but he distracted everyone all the time because he finished his work quite fast. Like now… 

You bit your lip, trying to hold back from saying something as he and your cubicle neighbor, Adam, laughed loudly about something. It was hard to concentrate on your editing with this racket! Music distracted you instead of help you concentrate, so you didn’t want to put on headphones, you really needed the quiet. After another minute of their commotion you shot up from your seat and went over to the little stool you had against your shared wall with Adam and stepped on so you could peer over the division.

“Can you two shut it, please? I have a last minute thing to do and the deadline’s in an hour!” You implored with a frown on your face and they both glanced over to you, smiling fading.

“Yeah. Sorry, Y/N.”, “Sorry.” They both mumbled before you clambered down and went back to your seat. 

Harry wasn’t a dick, if things got to a point like this, where you had to say something to him, he always apologized. You had no idea why you suddenly developed this dislike towards him, but you just did and you could tell it bothered him. You sighed when you heard two gentle knocks on the frosted glass sliding door of your divider.

“What?” You asked monotonously and when there was no response you rolled your chair over and opened it up, startling Harry who was scribbling on a sticky note now. “What is it, Harry?”

“Nothing, just wanted to apologize again for the noise.” He offered another apology and you just nodded once. “Ummm…so what piece are you editing?” He asked, taking a step closer to you and you sighed.

“Harry, all the time I waste chatting with you about work is time I could spend actually doing my work.” You pointed out and he nodded.

“Right.” He hummed with a tight lipped smile before he took off without another word. You bit your lip nervously, feeling a bit bad over the way you’d dealt with this situation. You’d been rude for no reason and seeing him leaving all defeated like that made you feel like shit.

“That was harsh.” Adam said, peering over the division and you glanced over at him and nodded.

“I know. I’ll make it right later.” You assured him and he smiled and nodded. You got on well with Adam, you wouldn’t say you were close but you were friends, he was the one that bought you the stool to be able to look over the 6 foot division between the two of you. You could have lunch or get drinks after work sometimes and carry conversations, and more importantly, you could hold each other accountable. Whether that was in your personal conversations or with things at work.

“Good.” He said and then went to sit down again. 

With the peace and quiet you were able to finish editing before the hour deadline came and the most stressful part of your day was over. You hated when the did last minute changes or additions to the magazine but it was part of the job. You couldn’t imagine how much more stressful it’d be to work for the newspaper or even for the TV where changes could be made in real time! So you let go of that frustrating part of your morning and then went to lunch. You stopped by the coffee shop around the corner and got Harry an iced, Vanilla Cinnamon latte. It was the office favorite and the perfect peace offering. So you made your way over to Harry’s cubicle with the little note you had scribbled preemptively (you were hoping he was still on lunch because confrontation was hard) but you saw him sitting there just scrolling through his phone. You bit your lip and stuffed the note in your pocket before knocking on the frame of the sliding door.

“Harry?” You said as you knocked and he turned around. When he saw it was you, he straightened up.

“Hey, Y/N.” He greeted you with a half-smile.

“Hey.” You said nervously, “Ummm, s-sorry for being rude to you earlier. I was annoyed and I took it out on you and Adam.” You explained, “Well, mostly on you.” You added.

“That’s alright, last minute additions are a pain.” He said and you nodded, relieved at his understanding.

“Yeah…so I ummm, got you this.” You said extending the drink to him, “It’s the vanilla cinnamon one that everyone seems to love.” You shared and he smiled at you.

“Wow, thank you so much. You didn’t have to.” He thanked you and you shook your head.

“It’s nothing really.” You assured him, “Just a peace offering.” You said and he nodded.

“Well thanks again.”

“Yeah, you’re welcome. Sorry again for earlier.” You said before hurrying off to your desk.

It was maybe 20 minutes later when you went to the kitchenette to grab some more water when you saw two of the girls from campaigning sitting at the table in there. The one called Destiny looked giddier than ever as she sipped on a latte, a latte that when she set it down had Harry’s name written in black sharpie. He had regifted your peace offering?! You were livid and felt betrayed! Maybe you had pushed him too far this time and he disliked you now too! You couldn’t help it when you mouth opened to ask her about it.

“H-hey Destiny, did someone do a coffee run?” You asked her and she shook her head and smiled cheerfully.

“No, Harry got it for me over lunch. Said he knew I liked these. He’s so sweet!” She said and you were holding off an eye-twitch.

“Wow, so sweet.” You said and then rushed back out without your water. You started to storm over to his area but then stopped yourself. You didn’t like him and he clearly didn’t like you, which was fine. This was fine and yes, your feelings were hurt, but you’d done the same to him and well, a coffee was nothing compared to hurt feelings so you just trudged back to your desk and sat with a huff.

“What’s wrong?” You heard Adam ask from his cubicle.

“Nothing, just forgot to grab water before coming back.” You said and he hummed.

“I’ll be back…” you mumbled before heading back to the kitchen. You were filling up your water bottle when Harry walked in, humming a familiar little tune.

“Oh, hey Y/N!” He greeted you with pep and you turned to him.

“Harry. Did you enjoy your coffee?”

“I did, thank you! It’s not a favorite for nothing!” He said with a smile and you hummed.

“Well good. It’s a lot of people’s favorite here.” You said and he nodded with a smile, but he sensed the awkwardness emanating from you.

“Yeah, it is.” He smiled again as you held eye contact with him for a few seconds and you just walked out without another word. 

…. A FEW DAYS LATER ….

It had been a few days and you were still upset that Harry had regifted the coffee you’d bought him. And more than that, it irked you that now he thought you were friends. He’d say hello everyone morning and you’d just respond half-heartedly. He knew better than to strike up conversation while you were in the zone, so to him this was just you acting like you always did. And to you, well he was just lying and being fake, which made you like him even less. All of this was affecting you far more than you cared to admit. It really struck you with awe just how easily he had the others fooled! It was around lunch time when you contacted your best friend, Nina, to see if she wanted to meet up for drinks she agreed and now you had something to look forward to for the rest of the work day.

It was 7 on the dot when you walked in to the bar you’d agreed upon. It was a little bit up-scale, so you’d gone home and changed and done up your makeup a little bit more. Thankfully, the bar top had two open spots so you hurried over and set your purse down on the empty stool to reserve it for Nina. It wasn’t odd that Nina was late, after she had her daughter she was constantly running 15-30 minutes behind everyone. It was annoying but you knew that being a mom was also annoying sometimes, it was a full-time thing, 365/24/7. No days off. Around the 32 minute mark you got a text from her stating that the baby had a fever and she couldn’t leave her with her boyfriend, who was also sick. You sighed and then raised your hand to get the bartender.

“Ready?” He asked as he walked over.

“Yeah, just the espresso martini.” You said.

“Got it. Open or closed tab?”

“Just leave it open.” You said and he nodded before taking your card and setting that up. 

You texted Nina back and then just looked around the bar, it was more full now and there were people waiting to sit, so you decided now was a good time to remove your things from the neighboring high chair. And as you gave one more look around the room your eyes landed on none other than Harry Styles. He looked relieved to see you and started making his way over to you. You sighed and turned to face the bar again, but moments later you heard his voice.

“Y/N!” He greeted you.

“Harry.” You mumbled, staring straight ahead.

“Can I…touch you?” He asked and you whipped around quickly, thanking the interior designers that these chairs spun.

“What?!”

“Can I touch you, not in a creepy way! Just, like a hand on your waist or hip?” He asked.

“You may not.” You scoffed.

“Oh my god, please! I ran into my ex outside and she already has another boyfriend! I told her I was seeing someone too because I…felt sad and jealous that she moved on and when he gets here and she gets inside I don’t want to look like a fool.” He explained and you pouted a bit. You knew about about exes that made you feel bad about yourself.

“Fine.” You sighed, “This seat is not gonna be taken anymore so just hop on.” You mumbled and he thanked you as he sat.

“So did you get stood up?” He asked carefully.

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, it was by my friend, not a date. Her baby is running a fever.”

“Oh, that’s too bad.” 

“Yep.” You hummed and then moments later your drink came and Harry ordered the same. Which then reminded you of why you were so annoyed at him. 

“Hey, I also wanted to ask, maybe this is not the time and place to have this conversation, but do you…have a problem with me?” He asked and you turned to him.

“Not really, I just…don’t mesh with you.” You said simply and he frowned. Everyone meshed with Harry. He was an air sign, he was freewheeling and fun and kind and creative!

“Well, why not?” 

“I don’t know, I just don’t like your manner of doing things. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, I mean you’re getting things done and everyone likes the outcome of your work, it’s just the way you go about it. It doesn’t work for me. It’s not personal, Harry.”

“You make it personal though.” He said and you frowned.

“I don’t.”

“You do.” He insisted, “I’ve left it alone because you’re just how you are and everyone tells me that it’s not me, that you’re just…a certain way, but I don’t know you that well so…” he trailed off and you frowned.

“You talk about me to other people?” 

“Sometimes…just to ask if they’ve heard you say anything about me, you know? Not to talk badly of you. But sometimes people come to me about it. I mean, it’s not like they don’t see the difference of how you treat them versus me.” He said and your brows furrowed. You thought your dislike towards him was discrete but everyone knew apparently.

“And everyone thinks I’m…a bitch?” You asked and he bit his lip nervously.

“I’ve never said that to anyone by the way, but people have…used that term from time to time.” He explained and you frowned, “I know we don’t know each other all that well but to me it just seems you’re just…a grump. Not a…well, you know.” He shrugged.

“Hey Harry!” You both heard and spun around to see who you presumed was his ex standing there with a tall man on her arm. She was breathtaking. You weren’t insecure about your looks all that often, but right now you were. You swear you’d seen this woman in some ad on the internet before.

“Hi Eden, nice to see you again.” He smiled.

“Yeah, we ran into each other outside.” She explained, “This is Gerard, my boyfriend.” She introduced him, “He models too.” She said and you and Harry both nodded.

“I’d imagine so!” Harry smiled easily. You were impressed at his composure after he admitted to you that he felt sad and jealous about this minutes before. Your irritation and insecurity would’ve flared far too easily and you would’ve made a fool of yourself. “Nice to meet you, Gerard.” He said extending his hand and shook it. “This is Y/N, my date tonight.” He said and then you felt Eden’s scrutinizing gaze down your face and body.

“Mmmm, kinda cute, I guess.” She said with a hint of snark and your eyes narrowed at her.

“Like those shoes!” You said with a sardonic smile and her mouth dropped open a bit, “We were kind of in the middle of an important conversation, so if you’re done trying to flaunt Gerard to your ex maybe it’s time you go find a seat.” You said and she just groaned and pulled Gerard along. Moments later Harry started laughing and you held back your smile as you turned back towards the bar.

“Oh, that was funny.” He chuckled, “Thanks for that.” He said to you with a smile and you maintained your serious facade.

“S’nothing, she was too condescending. And that poor man, being dragged into her games.”

“Either way, thank you. Standing up to her is not an easy feat.”

“Is that why you broke up?”

“Yeah…she was mean spirited and she cheated on me so-”

“Oh, that’s awful, Harry! I’m sorry.”

“Well at least she’s with him now and it wasn’t some rando.” He said and you shook your head.

“I guess but only an awful person betrays someone like that and it’s not worth you feeling sad or jealous over.” You stated firmly and glanced back at him and he was smiling a bit, “Or well…that’s my opinion about it.” You shrugged, sounding a bit less secure now that he was staring into your eyes.

“Well, thanks for that. I think I minimize it to…not feel so badly about it.” He explained and you hummed and reached for your drink again.

Everything you’d thought of Harry up until this point was the opposite of what he seemed to be. His constant need for socializing had you thinking he had no self awareness, but his priori statement made you realize that he did have it. Maybe you’d just judged him far too harshly for absolutely nothing. And well, no one likes to admit that they’re wrong…but you were wrong about him. But sadly, he wasn’t wrong about you and it made your smile fall.

“What’s wrong?” He asked you and you shook your head.

“It’s nothing.” You assured.

“Hey, tell me. The least I could do is listen after you retrieved my balls from the dragon guarding them.” He chuckled and you smirked, “Sorry for being crass but I mean…that’s what it was.” He said.

“I concluded that I have been wrong about you this whole time but you haven’t been wrong about me and that’s…it’s sad.” You said.

“It’s not like you’re a bad person. You’re just…irritable.” He said with a smile and you sighed.

“I try not to be…and like it’s not like in a condescending way. I don’t think I’m better than anyone else. I just…I’ve always had a hard time relating to other people. Like I’m not into the same things as everyone so I can’t join in on conversations a lot and it does upset me. But now everyone things I’m this kill joy and a raging bitch!” You said through a laugh of disbelief.

“I mean…what you did for me the other day? With the coffee?” He asked and then your smile fell again.

“You mean the coffee you regifted to Destiny?” You asked and he sighed. “I saw her with it in the kitchen. She said you bought it for her.” You said with an accusatory tone, “That…hurt my feelings.” You confessed. It felt like you were choking on sand, admitting that to him but it had been something you couldn’t move past.

“Okay, there’s an explanation.” Harry said, “I’m lactose intolerant and when I tried it I realized it wasn’t lactose free and I would get sick if I drank it. I didn’t want to throw it away and risk you seeing it in a garbage can. So I…gave it to the person who sat further away from you and told her a little white lie about it.” He explained and you couldn’t be upset at that.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.”

“It’s alright. I appreciated the gesture though! A lot! I thought maybe that meant we could start to be a little more chummy, you know?”

“I thought so too until I saw you regifted it.” You said and he smiled.

“Yeah…I should’ve said something then or asked. But I just assumed you knew. Usually when we group order I’m the only other person who gets a cold brew black-”

“Oh! I’m the other person who orders that!” You said excitedly and he grinned.

“Yeah? I mean, good coffee doesn’t need anything in my opinion. It has a whole flavor profile on its own!”

“Agreed!” You concurred and he smiled.

“See, there’s one thing in common.” He added and you hummed and smiled.

The rest of the evening with Harry was pleasant. After all of the unpleasantness you’d put him though you picked up his tab too and assured him that next time he could get you and well, he was pleased that there’d be a next time.

Harry was glad you two had a breakthrough. He was walking back to his car and was feeling for his keys in his pockets when he realized they weren’t there. He circled back to the bar and no one had turned anything in and they weren’t where you two sat or in the bathroom. So he hurried out to his car and upon peering in with his phone light on he saw them sitting in the cup holder. He groaned as he recalled that he’d seen Eden walking down the sidewalk when he was about to get out of the car.

“Shit…” he mumbled and then dialed your number.

“Hey Harry!” You answered right away as you had just gotten to the intersection.

“Hey, I hate to do this but I locked my keys in my car and my insurance thing is in there too and if I call a random tow they’ll charge me an arm and a leg…”

“Yeah, no worries ummm, I can circle back I’m just down the street.” You assured, “Did you need to stay over as well?” You asked.

“Only if you’re fine with that! If not I could see who’s up and can let me crash!”

“No that’s alright, my couch is very comfy.” You assured him.

“Okay, thank you so much! I parked around the corner on 4th.”

“Okay, I’ll be there in a few.” You assured and hung up.

Minutes later he was getting into your car, thanking you profusely for helping him out. He was searching through his emails for his insurance agent’s contact to give him a call in the morning, and thankfully he found it. He explained it wasn’t any of the bigger insurance companies since those were too pricey. So he ran everything by this guy to ensure that things would get covered by his policy if and when he ran into any issues. You fully understood this and chatted about it a bit more until you were at your apartment.

Once you got in you assured him he could borrow some stuff from your ex boyfriend that’d been left behind and got him a spare toothbrush too and he went off to get showered and changed while you made up the couch for him. You waited for him to get out and then headed back out with two pillows.

“Hey, ummm soft or firm?” You asked him.

“Whichever one you don’t use.” He smiled.

“Oh no, I have like 6 pillows, you choose the one you prefer.” You assured.

“Firm, please.”

“Alright, here you are.” You said walking it over to him.

“Y/N, seriously, thank you for tonight. For all of it.” He said softly.

“Yeah, you’re welcome. It’s the least I can do after being a huge bitch to you for nothing.”

“It’s not because you’re trying to make things up to me. It’s because you’re a nice person.” He said and you smiled a bit and glanced away, “Hey, you are.”

“After everything I’ve done to you and how I’ve treated you, you believe that?”

“I do. I also believe in second chances.”

“Hopefully not with cheating exes…” you added with a timid smirk and he grinned.

“Yeah, definitely not.” He said, gaze still locked on yours. You felt this tension rising between you, it was all of the good things mixed with all the past irritations and it was making your brain cloudy. “Y/N?”

“Hmmm?”

“How mad would you be if I tried to kiss you right now?” He asked and you couldn’t tell if he was kidding around or being sincere.

“Ummm…I don’t…know.” You got out nervously, “Let’s just get to bed.” You said and he nodded, “Goodnight, Harry.”

“Good night.” He responded and you hurried off to your bedroom. You also washed off your body and got ready for bed and as you finally settled in your phone pinged with a text message.

Harry Styles:

How do I turn off the light?

You smiled and got out of bed and went over to find him already cuddled up on the couch and he glanced over at you.

“Sorry couldn’t find the switch.”

“It’s on this remote.” You said reaching for it on the coffee table.

“Oh, fancy.”

“Right!” You grinned and handed it over. “You can change the settings too if you don’t want it pitch black.” You said and he nodded.

“Thanks.”

“Of course.” You said and started walking off before you stopped at the entrance of the hallway. You went back and leaned over him before kissing his cheek gently. His eyes fluttered shut and he smiled for a second before you pulled back. “Sorry.” You whispered.

“That’s alright.” He assured you and you bit your lip nervously before hurrying back down the hall. You closed the door and leaned back on it with a pounding heart and a smile on your face. You were so happy you had given him a chance tonight.

>> NEXT PART >>

[devildom-moss]

Moonlit Bath

(Diavolo x gn!MC)

(NSFW) (slightly submissive Diavolo) (NSFW tags: brief food play, sex in the water, oral, biting, marking, penetration with no condom, creampie, cock warming, outdoor sex, very sweet and gentle, no specifics about MC's genitals which was a bit difficult, but I didn't want to make two versions - maybe next time, though?)

Word Count: +3,600

“Please, Lucifer?” Diavolo was already a full minute into his appeal with no sign of Lucifer giving him an inch.

“No; must I repeat myself again, Diavolo?” Lucifer sighed and set his drink down on the table between them. “I’m not giving you my blessing. You can invite them, and they can accept, but I won’t pretend to be happy about it.”

“Please, reconsider,” Diavolo decided to switch tactics, “MC has been so exhausted recently. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed.”

Lucifer tensed up. Got him, Diavolo thought. Lucifer leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs, intertwining his fingers and cupping his hands around his knee. “You realize that you’re twisting me into an uncomfortable position, don’t you?”

“Of course,” Diavolo smiled, “so?”

“As I said, you can invite them, and MC is free to go with you. Just make sure they have a good time, alright?”

“Of course,” Diavolo held his hand out to Lucifer, “thank you, Lucifer. I will ensure MC enjoys themselves.”

Lucifer took Diavolo’s hand firmly – aggressively so – and cautioned his friend, “you had better return them in one piece.”

That conversation held behind closed doors preceded Diavolo’s invitation to take you on an overnight trip. He was right about you being exhausted, and it was no surprise that the House of Lamentation had played a part in that. You loved the brothers, but sometimes they drained your energy. So, when Diavolo was gifted two vouchers for an overnight resort, you were the first person on his mind. You deserved a break, and he craved a night alone with you. Although he knew that your decision was all that mattered, he didn’t like the idea of Lucifer being upset with him, and Diavolo knew that Lucifer hated to let you leave his side for longer than a few hours. Having preemptively smoothed things over with Lucifer, Diavolo finished his drink and eagerly sought you out.

“MC, would you be willing to clear your schedule this weekend for me?” Diavolo asked with a childlike grin.

“I can probably manage that, but what do you need me for?”

He presented the voucher to you, “would you go to an overnight resort with me? Each room has gorgeous outdoor baths, and the resort provides guests with a large selection of bath products to enhance the experience. They also have chefs from across the Devildom to provide room service. The resort offers massages, as well. You could relax with me for a full day.”

“Really?” You perked up.

“Of course,” Diavolo laughed, “and if that isn’t enough, the manager informed me that they have small, crow-shaped portable freezers, so you can fill them up with drinks and desserts and enjoy them in the bath. A few gourmet ice cream brands partnered with the resort, so they have the best options.”

You pulled Diavolo into a hug, “you had me at overnight resort, but that all sounds amazing! I’d love to go with you! Thank you so much.”

Diavolo chuckled and picked you up in his arms, twirling you around. He couldn’t look away from that smile – it was as if the invitation itself had rejuvenated you. Anticipation rose in his chest: a whole day alone with you where you could just enjoy yourself around him. If you could feel at peace with him, he would be the happiest demon in all three realms. He couldn’t resist peppering kisses all over your face.

“I promise you’ll have a good time,” you could feel the joy in his words and the smile on his lips as he kissed down your neck. He pulled away from you reluctantly, a slight pout on his lips, “but for now, I have to head back to the castle. Barbatos won’t let me so much as leave my office this weekend if I don’t get my work done on time, so I need to get that done for you.”

“My prince,” you kissed him once more to hold him over. “Work hard. I won’t slack off either, so we can enjoy this weekend together.”

Diavolo’s chest flooded with affection. He bit his lip, wondering if you would allow him to be greedy with you, “can I have one more kiss? Please?”

“Yes, my little prince,” you placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Now, get your work done.”

You both kept your ends of the deal, and when Diavolo drove up to the House of Lamentation that Saturday morning, no one could deter you from getting into that car. The drive was relaxing in its own way, and it gave you an opportunity to stare at Diavolo all you wanted. He could see you watching him from the corner of his eyes, and it took all the restraint he had not to pull the car over in some scenic location and fuck you right there – or let you fuck him. He didn’t really care, so long as he could touch you.

It was a quarter past noon when you checked in. Before you walked into the room, Diavolo confessed, “I requested that they give us a room with only one bed. I hope that wasn’t too presumptuous of me, given our relationship.”

“Of course, it’s fine. I’m a bit insulted that you think I wouldn’t want to share a bed with you,” you joked as he unlocked the door. You pulled him into the room and towards the bed, gently pushing him onto it. He stared up at you expectingly, and you rewarded him with a kiss. You pulled away and stared at his soft gold eyes; desire lived in his eyes when he looked at you – an emotional exhibitionist who bared his feelings for you. When Diavolo made himself so easy to read, you almost felt impure for looking at him, knowing you were seeing something no one else would, as he had expressed so many times that he only showed these sides of himself to you. You smiled at him to hide your shame at witnessing such raw honesty. Still only inches from his lips, you spoke, “I’m looking forward to getting you in bed later tonight, my little prince.”

Diavolo could feel his face burning. For a brief moment, he wanted to forgo all other plans and spend the next few hours in bed with you, but he knew that patience would pay off.

Diavolo stomached someone else’s hands on your body during the couples massage he booked – although he made a point to hold your hand the whole time, much to the inconvenience of both of your masseuses. It seemed as if Diavolo was intent on touching you to his heart’s content today. He even suggested that you feed each other when you ordered room service. As advertised, you two enjoyed a relaxing afternoon – although Diavolo could not determine whether the resort had a larger impact on this peace or whether it was you. Actually, no, he knew it was mostly you, but he could only hope you would say the same about him. He was too embarrassed to ask.

With the early hours of night upon you and the moon beginning to rise in the sky, you and Diavolo visited the resort’s shop to select your bath products and filled your portable freezer up with a selection of fancy macarons and pints of ice cream. Diavolo held the freezer up and smiled, “this is so cute, it kind of looks like one of the crows that follows Mammon around, right?”

“That really chubby one?”

“Exactly!” Diavolo laughed. “Do you think they sell these? I would love to have one of them at the castle. I could fill it with your favorite ice cream and keep it in my room. That way, if you’re ever having a rough day, you can come directly to me, and even if I can’t help, I’ll have ice cream.”

He was always thinking of you, and it was so sweet that it was hard to respond to, so instead, you pet him, taking the time to enjoy how soft his hair was. Diavolo melted against your hand. Finally, you managed to speak, “I’m sure we can find a way to get you one.”

Diavolo grinned and started to pull you out onto the room’s private patio. Leafy trees and stone walls isolated you from other customers without hindering your view of the sky. From the cliffside on which the resort was located, you could even look out above a small oceanside town and the vast body of water. The moon floated just above the horizon, leaving a small space between its brilliant glow and a wavering reflection.

The bath was a massive natural stone structure, sunk into the ground with more than enough room for four people – which explained why the bath bombs were so large and came in a pack of two. A slightly raised stone bar was attached to the bath, and on it was a basket of towels, a bottle of Demonus in an ice bucket, and two wine glasses. Next to the bath was a showerhead attached to the tall stone wall. A variety of cool colored Devildom flora were planted around the patio, with a deep violet flower sprouting up near the edge of the bath catching your eye. It was almost a perfect contrast to Diavolo’s eyes.

“What do you think, MC?” Diavolo asked you.

“This is gorgeous, Diavolo! I almost can’t believe I’m in the Devildom,” you stared in awe. He laughed in the face of your honesty before turning your gaze towards him, running his thumb across your lower lip.

“One day, I’m going to show you just how beautiful the Devildom can be. I want to take you to every pretty place and watch as the shock slowly disappears – so that whenever you leave, you dream of coming back to me.”

He looked so sincere. You wanted to apologize for how you phrased your awe, but he kissed you before you could speak. One of his hands started to play with the hem of your shirt. Diavolo had been patient long enough, and he had been looking forward to bathing in the moonlight with you more than anything. He wanted your naked body pressed against him in the steaming water. You squeezed his bicep softly as you kissed him back. The bliss painted across his face when he pulled away was starting to make you impatient, too.

“Get undressed,” you told him. “I’ll start running the bath while you wash off.”

As you filled the tub, ensuring that the water wasn’t too hot for your skin, you stole glances at Diavolo. He was so sensual that it was hard to believe he wasn’t purposely putting a show on for you: the water rinsing suds slowly down his chest and arms as if it was caressing him, the way his hair clung to the nape of his neck, and even the way he bent down to lather his legs seemed unfairly sexual. When the bath was nearly filled, you dropped in the bath bombs. The water became a soft, milky pink, as flower petals and herbs floated to the surface.

Diavolo came up behind you, his warm, wet body pressing against you in an embrace. He whispered into your ear, “your turn to wash up.”

You nodded, hoping that the warmth you felt was in part due to the heat of the bath. Diavolo got into the tub and watched you shamelessly as you undressed and washed yourself until you finally joined him. The second you dipped into the water, his hands were on you. He kissed you wildly, opening his mouth as if to beg you to slip your tongue inside of him. He moaned against your lips. You pulled away so you could leave kisses across the top of his chest – any part of him that rested above the water – while caressing his chest and stomach just below. He leaned back and moaned louder.

“Wait, MC,” he whimpered through shallow panting.

“Yes, my prince?” you asked against his skin.

“I brought you here to make you feel better.”

“I do feel better,” you sucked on his collarbone.

“No,” he moaned and held you by your hips, “I want to make you feel good first, please?”

You pulled back and looked at him, disheveled and slightly flushed. His lips parted desperately. Diavolo begged again, “can I? Please?”

“What did you have in mind?” you asked while smoothing his hair back.

Instead of replying, he lifted you out of the water and sat you at the edge of the bath. The stone ground was cold, but Diavolo’s warm hands caressing your hips and thighs warmed you up slightly. He placed one of your legs over his shoulder so he could easily kiss and bite your inner thighs. He eagerly sucked on your skin, leaving a trail of hickeys up your thigh before slowly kissing back down the trail of marks. You moaned and ran your hands through his hair. He pulled back slightly, pride swelling in his chest for marking you and forcing those sweet noises out of your mouth. Between the sweet scent of you and the milk bath, he felt intoxicated. Diavolo panted and asked, “can I try something?”

“Of course,” you smiled down at him. Diavolo reached for the freezer and pulled out a pint of ice cream. He scooped a small spoonful out and dropped it on your thigh.

“That’s cold,” you complained, earning a chuckle from him.

He watched it start to melt against your hot skin, slowly sliding down your thigh. Diavolo brought his tongue to your skin and licked you clean, the taste of your skin and ice cream melding. His mouth was so hot compared to the sensation before. He grabbed the bottle of Demonus and poured a generous stream down your other thigh, letting some of it drip into the bath. He licked the sticky trail of liquor off of you, pulling another moan out of you. You were so intoxicating to him.

As nice as his teasing tongue felt on your thighs, you wanted more. You used the leg he had placed on his shoulder to slowly pull him closer to you. He licked his lips as you did so.

“Want me to taste you now?” Diavolo asked. You nodded and he dove in, using his mouth to pleasure you greedily. His tongue eagerly lapping at you and his sweet moans sending vibrations through your body. He swirled his tongue around your most sensitive spots, savoring your taste. You could feel his fervor in the desperate sucking and licking, causing you to clench your eyes shut.

Suddenly, you heard a large splash in the water. You looked down at him, some of your fluids dripping from the corner of his mouth. His eyes were wide. In his excitement, his lower set of wings had sprouted out of his back. You were taken aback, but still enamored with the sight of him. You felt one wing graze your foot and tried not to laugh.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” you smiled sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I got worked up,” he averted his gaze shyly. “I can transform back.”

“No, no it’s adorable,” you chuckled and reached out to pet his head. The moonlight reflected off his hair and along his wet skin. He was so lovely. Diavolo gave you a grin that distorted your notions of what was angelic and what should have been demonic.

With your permission, he continued, allowing you to hold his head and guide him. You watched his wings twitch slightly as he moaned. The moonlight shined against the soft gold at the tip of his wings. His pretty mouth felt so good that you tilted your head back and ran your fingers through his hair mindlessly. Diavolo could tell you were getting close and started to use his hands. He pulled you closer to the edge of the tub so that he had better access. Diavolo licked one finger and slowly put it inside of you, curling his finger to bring you more pleasure.

“I’m close,” you tightened your grip on his hair.

“Good. Take whatever you need from me,” he said before continuing to put his mouth on you. He added another finger, stretching you out slightly. You rolled your hips and felt him go deeper. Diavolo savored the feeling of you clenching around his fingers and twitching against his mouth as you came for him. With little regard for your sensitivity, he gave you a few more soft licks and gentle thrusts with his fingers before he pulled them out of you. He licked his lips and gulped, ensuring that he took everything you gave him.

“MC, I can’t hold back anymore. Please, let me fuck you. Please?” Diavolo begged you. You tried to find the words to reply in your afterglow. Impatient, he continued his pleas between messy kisses along your inner thigh. His damp hair tickled your legs. “Please, I want to keep making you feel good.”

You found it impossible to deny him, and as soon as you agreed, he pulled you into the water with him. He set you on top of his lap so you could feel his hard cock against your stomach. He rubbed himself against you a few times before aligning himself with your hole, stimulating you at the same time. Slowly, he thrusted up into you, with the warm water easing the insertion. You wrapped your arms around his neck, tracing your hands along his wings – which seemed to enhance his pleasure. The water in the bath ebbed and flowed in rhythm with his thrusting. A splashing sound pulsed in harmony with his moaning and the slapping of your skin. One of Diavolo’s hands held you firmly by your back while the other rubbed your body in the thin space between the two of you. His hand snaked even lower, driving you crazy until your eyes were screwed tight.

“How does it feel?” he managed between shaky moans. You could hear the need in his voice, and you indulged him.

“You’re doing so good, my prince,” you pulled back and kissed him. Your taste still lingered in his mouth. Praise was all he needed for his hand to pick up speed and pressure for you. His thrusts became slower and deeper, causing you to sink your nails in his back. He moaned into the pain.

“Fuck,” he growled, “can I cum inside of you? Let me mark your insides, please.”

“Yes,” you panted, “cum for me.”

As he did, he bit your shoulder at the base of your neck in a weak attempt to muffle his moaning. The vibrations of his mouth and the sharp pain combined with the heat of his cum inside of you and the continued stimulation from his hand, which pushed you over the edge a second time.

He released your shoulder and kissed over the saliva coated indents in your skin. His eyes were hazy when he pulled back. Still inside of you, Diavolo let out a content sigh.

“I’m so happy you came with me,” he smiled and kissed the mark on your shoulder again. Realizing what he said, he got flustered, “ah, wait! I didn’t mean – I meant that I’m happy you came to the resort with me, not that you came at the same time as me.”

“I know,” you chuckled and smoothed down his hair.

“But I’m happy about that too,” he admitted, burying himself against your neck and holding you tight. You soothed his embarrassment with gentle pats.

However, the cool night air was starting to get the better of you. You interrupted his nuzzling, “Diavolo, my sweet prince, the water is getting cold. We should probably wash off and go inside.”

Diavolo refused to pull away from your neck, choosing to whine against your skin, instead. “I don’t want to take my dick out of you. It’s so warm. Is it possible to wash up and stay inside of you?”

You couldn’t resist laughing. He may be the next demon king, but right now, he was just a needy demon who loved you too much to want to be apart from you. You traced a finger down his back, feeling the slight bumps along his skin where you had scratched him. “I’m not sure about that.”

“Then at least let me wash you this time. I’ll even dry you off,” Diavolo offered through a half-genuine pout. He added, “after all, there are still plenty of hours left in the night, and I want to take care of you for every second of it.”

Bonus:

When Diavolo walked you up to the House of Lamentation, Lucifer greeted you both at the door. He was quick to spot the bite mark near the base of your neck. He glared, barely containing his demon form, “what the fuck did I tell you?”

“I brought them back in one piece – like I promised.”

“With a giant bite mark!”

“But I had a good time, Lucifer,” you admitted. His gaze instantly softened, but he pulled you into the house and closed the door on Diavolo.

“Next time you need a day off, I’ll deal with it myself,” Lucifer grumbled.

By the time you had returned to your room, you had three messages from Diavolo:

Don’t let him see your thighs, MC!

Actually, don’t show anyone else your thighs. I’d be happy if I was the only one.

Also, I had a great time with you. I can’t wait until I can spend another night alone with you. I want to make you feel even better next time.

[edenfenixblogs]

Not doing services this year for a variety of personal reasons (trauma season aftershocks, my grandma is dying (not this second or anything but hospice care has begun) and there’s logistics happening where we need to be available, etc.) But am doing breaking the fast at my cousin’s later.

Instead, today I found peace and meaningful contemplation while finally completing my plant arrangement and care.

Everything repotted.

Everything receiving proper light and care after a proper quarantine period.

Everything watered.

Everything receiving its weekly maintenance (fungicide, insecticide, wipe down leaves, etc.)

This year is hard for a lot of reasons that anyone following me for any length of time wouldn’t need too many guesses to figure out.

But also, this is a holiday devoted to reflection and remorse and owning up to your mistakes and committing to being better.

I struggled going into this day with the idea that so many people should be apologizing to me, yet I know they never will. It felt for awhile like I was being asked to apologize the the people who hurt me for making them hurt me. And I honestly felt resentful and bitter about it.

But the custom here is clear: Apologize. Mean it. And do your best to be better.

So I did. And it felt nice, actually. The trick was meaning it.

I apologized sincerely to people even if I didn’t know if or how I’ve hurt them, just make sure we were ok. And I apologized to people who owe me an apology. But not in a way where I was vindictive. I sat with myself. Because true remorse is the essence of this holiday. And I had to ask myself what I was sorry for. What could I honestly apologize for? Well, I apologized generally and offered to make amends. And not many people took me up on the offer or even acknowledged that I’d apologized. But if they had, I felt comfortable that I found a real and true thing I could say I apologized for and comfort that I could apologize if they replied with something I hadn’t realized.

But what did I find that was real and true in this time?

Well, I apologized for letting my trauma motivate me to see the worst in people sometimes. I apologized for not trusting some friendships to be strong enough to withstand this storm. I should never have let my fear lead me to close myself preemptively to avoid more pain. I shouldn’t test my friends who are already uncomfortable with certain things, in order to see if they actually are still my friends. Even though I didn’t know I was doing it, I still definitely did it sometimes. And I realized that as I reflected on this year and tended to my plants.

Apologizing, fucking up, doing better—these are all things that make us human. And even when we least want to apologize or feel as though others should be doing better, that’s not an excuse for us to lower our own standards for how we behave toward one another. And I can feel and believe that with my whole heart today. I hope it is enough.

G’mar chatima tova chaverim.

[quitealotofsodapop]

Hey Mac, we thought you were dead;

Sequel to this post on Macaque being back in the "Century Stone Egg Au".

After the pregnant Monkey King breaks his shock, he'd run to embrace Macaque, even if he'd just been super close to clawing his eye out (again) and that they're last meeting was a huge fight. He only holds back because he's honestly a little scared/worried how and why Macaque is there. Wukong is immediately trying to apolgise for his violent reaction, but Macaque just laughes out; "Nah, it's my fault. Should've asked first." It's only with the shadow monkeys' breathy, almost *fond* laughter that Wukong realises that Mac is truly there for peace. Mac's interaction with PIF further confirms this.

The reincarnation gang + the dragon couple are super sketched out though. Pigsy is the one to loudly ask "How do you know it's him and not some weird copycat?", mostly cus he's legit worried for Wukong in this moment. Somebody's dead partner don't just show up one day!

Wukong responds with his Gold Vision + its hard to fake the way Mac smells. The gang still refuse to leave the two alone together until they recieve a decent explaination.

The fact that Macaque literally looks like he crawled out of the grave quickly gives everybody a bad feeling, and they def force Mac to sit down and explain how tf he came back to life before he's even allowed smell Wukong.

Macaque: "I may have agreed to do something... kinda stupid in hindsight." Wukong, : "Mac... look at me. What did you do?" Macaque: "...ok don't be mad." Wukong: "I'm preemptively seething." Macaque: "I accepted a deal from the White Bone Spirit." Wukong: "I'M FURIOUS!!!" *starts throwing whatever's closest at Mac* Macaque, dodges a pillow: "Pfff! Calm down, it's not like I'm actually gonna do it! She brought me back to life to release her from a tomb or something and I chucked the key away the second I got back." The whole Room: "..." Wukong: "Mihou... thats the stupidiest thing you could have done!" *summons hair clones to throw stuff at Mac* Macaque, now failing to dodge fruit: "OW! Why are you upset!? We both know nothing good will come of letting that demon free!" PIF: "Mihou, if this Bone Demon was able to bring you back from the dead, then she has the power to track you down and recind her offer." Macaque: "...so you're saying that I have to fufill her deal, or I might get dragged back to Diyu?" Wukong and PIF, at the same time: "YES!!!" Macaque: "Shit." The Whole Room: *covering Red and Mei's ears* "LANGUAGE!!" Tang: "You should work on that before the baby gets here.

Oh you better believe Mac's in the doghouse until they can figure out how to resolve the LBD business deal. PIF calls up her lawyer to go over the exact terms and conditions.

Fire Star: "Ok, I've got good news and bad news." Macaque: "Bad news first." Fire Star: "The Lady Bone Demon's geas is airtight. You will have to open her tomb *slash* free her spirit in order to keep your place in this mortal realm - less you be recalled at a later date for a task of similar value or until she makes you redundant." Pigsy: "Translate for the non-lawyers please." Fire Star: "Either he does it, or she makes him do it, or she just takes his soul." Macaque: "Shit." Wukong & PIF: *glaring daggers at Mac* Macaque: "So what's the good news?" Fire Star, slyly: "Those are the only conditions to the geas. There's a reason you need lawyers for these kind of things nowadays. She didn't stipulate say... where to release her. Or whom would be present to greet her when her tomb opens." Everyone: *shares similar delighted/scheming looks* (*a few hours + a few calls to a worried Nezha later*) Macaque: *unlocks LBD's tomb* LBD: "Freedom! Freedom! Fr-" All of Wukong's allies in the Heavenly Army + Diyu officials:

LBD: "Oh bother."

As the Bone Demon gets carted away for conspiracy to destroy the world, she gets yelled at by all of the Underworld/Diyu officials that now have to deal with the fallout of her actions.

King Yama: "Do you understand how much paperwork I have to do to mark this monkey as alive!? He doesn't have a death date! It's been blotted out! I'll be correcting his files for months!!" Macaque: *high fives Fire Star for the solid lawyer-ing*

As far as Hell/Diyu is concerned, Macaque performed a service and was paid upfront. They don't want the headache of trying to take him back if his mate (someone who's trashed Hell before) wants to keep him.

Wukong is still super-mad at Mac for a variety of reasons, don't get hom wrong. But he's atleast glad in the moment to have his mate back. And glad that LBD is gone for the forseeable future.

[madamequagmire]

Right, well. Twitter is unusable, so I guess I’ll just force my silly drawings and random nerdery onto Tumblr instead? I’m genuinely too old for this, I’m not 100% sure I know how any of it works, so apologies in advance. Here’s a little drawing of Greg Davies in a suit as a preemptive peace offering.

[babyangelsky]

Color Moments in Two Worlds Episode 6

EVERYTHING IN THIS EPISODE HURT. SOMETIMES THERE ARE PARALLELS AND THOSE PARALLELS ARE JUST FUCKING PAINFUL BECAUSE THE SWORD OF DAMOCLES IS HOVERING OVER EVERYTHIIIIIINGGGGGUH

*gets self together* Okay. All right.

"You like Phupha!" Kram says to himself while thinking about his kiss with Tai and then immediately matching him.

Sure, sure, mhmm. You keep telling yourself that, mi cielo.

Tai's life briefly flashed before his eyes when he was greeted with this sight.

But there was no reason for him to worry because Phupha was not in fact debuting as a couple with Kram. He just wanted to give them some nice clothes so they could look pretty for the "thank fuck we didn't all die!" party he was throwing.

AND RIGHT BEFORE WE GOT THIS SHOT, MY BOY KRAM VALIDATED ME!

BECAUSE THEY DO MATCH! IT'S ALL ABOUT THE MATCHING! I'm counting this as a Clowned Correctly moment for me and no one can take it away.

We learned in the preview for this episode that Jao has an unrequited crush on Tai, but @respectthepetty and I are gonna need him to get it together because he's out here talking about it to Wayu while he's matching him.

(Side note: The subs make it seem like Jao actually has feelings for Kram but in the preview--which is hard subbed--he confirms the crush is on Tai)

AND THEY STILL AREN'T MAKING OUT ABOUT IT! JAO! LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND PICK UP WHAT THESE COLORS ARE PUTTING DOWN AND KISS THIS MAN.

Jao also matched Tai very briefly this week, on account of the unrequited feelings that have now been brought to light. He's trying to be there for Tai but Tai snaps at him because he preemptively broke up with Kram because he thinks Kram is about to leave him for Phupha. Which better not happen.

Tai apologizes and we appreciate that but really, this is a golden opportunity for Jao to run his cute little self right into Wayu's big strong arms. Which better happen. POR FAVOR!

And then everything just starts to fucking hurt because Kram goes looking for Tai after Phupha asks him to come with him to Bangkok (Kram I'm so serious, you better have told him no) but instead of finding Tai, he finds this.

LOOK FAMILIAR?

Jao drops by again and after seeing this painting, Kram finally asks what happened to his alternate self and we get a series of achingly sweet and painful flashbacks to alternate Kram's relationship with Tai. I can't be sure, but it's sort of implied that present Kram is remembering everything as we see it because he clutches his head.

Tai and his Kram met when Kram accidentally got caught in a tiger trap while trying to save a bunny, and as we all know he did, he immediately brought warmth to Tai.

And they immediately matched.

He finds Tai napping under a tree and paints him, then wakes him up when he hears thunder. Tai, in his cold blue, likes the painting and wants to buy it but Kram, in his warm yellow, tells Tai he'll give him the painting for free if Tai agrees to be his friend.

They do up getting caught in the rain and this isn't a color moment, but ya'll deserve to see Kram having a real normal one about wet shirtless Tai.

Kram is a BL Boy, therefore he has to get sick when it rains. Tai takes him to the doctor and Kram wakes up the next morning to see Tai has stayed by his side the whole night. As he looks at Tai sleeping, he is surrounded by Tai's blue.

While I begin to slowly bleed out, Tai tells Kram that he wants to be more than friends and offers Kram some of the same warmth Kram has brought into his life and asks Kram to come with him.

*through tears* Kram accepts and then they arrive at Tai's house--their house--with Kram dressed head to toe in Tai's blue.

*sobbing* They build this cozy peaceful life together where they do their laundry in the river and cook for each other and they're so in love, and Tai just keeps giving Kram his newly found warmth.

And it all culminates in Tai basically asking Kram to marry him with the biggest Heart Eyes in all creation and them having beautiful, joyous love-affirming sex absolutely bathed in warm light.

But let me tell you, noticing the way shots are framed is a blessing and a curse. Because as amazing and beautiful as this moment between Tai and Kram is, the show won't let us forget about the sword hovering above our heads.

It won't let us forget about the danger lurking outside this warm little bubble, or that it already told us how Tai and Kram's story was going to end.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Challenge: Aegon had to be King for his own survival. Rhaenyra would have killed him. And Alicent. Maybe not Helaena. DEFINITELY Aemond. He was protecting himself. AND he offered her the chance to p much keep living her life in peace.

Rebuttal: We have absolutely no evidence of this short of Otto's claims. And Otto is lying.

He saw firsthand what happened when a member of Rhaenyra's family tried to steal her inheritance. When Daemon occupied Dragonstone and declared himself Viserys' heir, did Rhaenyra resort to bloodshed? Did she use this as an excuse to try and kill Daemon? No. She called his bluff. She invited him to strike first. So when Otto tells Alicent that Rhaenyra will have "no choice" but to put her brothers to the sword, either he is suffering from memory loss, or he's lying through his teeth. He should know better than anyone that Rhaenyra is no kinslayer.

Here's the real truth. Otto realized that he couldn't control Rhaenyra. That she would not accept her position being taken away without a fight. He saw how easily she won over Daemon, how alike the two of them were. Just look at Otto's expression when Rhaenyra is flying away. He's realized that if it came to a fight with Rhaenyra, she'd have Daemon backing her. And that terrified him.

The story that Rhaenyra would preemptively murder her brothers to prevent any challenges to her claim is just that, a story. Otto uses it as justification for his plot to reject the succession. During the Green Council, he tries to have Rhaenyra and Daemon murdered so they won't challenge Aegon - exactly what he claimed Rhaenyra would do. Realistically, why would she ever do this in the first place? If she murdered her own brothers without any provocation, she would look like a tyrant. All the lords actually on her side would abandon her. Rhaenyra doesn't have a reason to harm Aegon unless he gives her one, and it's clear as day that he wouldn't do so on his own. She'd likewise have zero reason to hurt Helaena or Alicent. They have no real power. I suppose Aemond might be a problem, but again, only if he initiates. Rhaenyra isn't going to pick a fight with him.

The terms offered to Rhaenyra in 1X10 are, frankly, a complete joke. They offer her Dragonstone...which she already has. She's been living there, and now that she's queen, the castle belongs to Jace. They offer to re-confirm Luke as heir to Driftmark...even though he was already re-confirmed, just two days ago. Not to mention that Corlys survived, so the Crown really doesn't have jurisdiction over that anymore. Corlys will always choose Luke. Oh, and they offer to take her two youngest children as hostages. Sure, they don't call it that, but Rhaenyra's no fool, and it's plain as day that they would be hostages. Perhaps treated as guests, but taken for no other reason than to keep Rhaenyra in line. She's the rightful Queen, why should she entertain such nonsense? Oh, and they offer to spare any Lords who "conspired" against Aegon's ascent. Even though the story of Viserys "changing his mind" isn't well known, and these Lords would have simply been following the succession as they knew it to be. Get real.

Finally, Aegon acting in self-defense based on what he was told might have been his motive in the book. But in the show, it's very clearly a case of enjoying the attention. He feels validated and seen by the crowd. It's the first time he is actually shown to enjoy being King and maybe even start to want it.

[quinloki]

A Light Touch

Fem Reader x Eustass Kid

CW: language, assault, violence, sexual themes and situations, implications of non-con, loss of limbs, blood. 18+ Only.

Chapter 1 - Table of Consent -

Chapter 2: Handy Guy

Kid and Killer didn't come back until late afternoon the next day. They'd left their numbers with the nurse, and she got them into your phone for you. She filled you in on a bit more information as well since you were more aware the next day.

The man who had rear-ended you had been released from the hospital that morning, but he was in Marine custody currently. There'd probably be someone by tomorrow to talk to you about what happened regarding the accident, and she left some materials with you about your options for prosthetics.

Kid or Killer had made sure your bag had ended up with you in your room, and you were grateful for that. Not only did it have your phone and ID, but your insurance information was in there as well. When you gave it to the Nurse she smiled.

"Your costs have already been taken care of, Miss (Y/N), but I can run everything through your insurance still, if you like."

"Uh, yes please." You were trying to think how the cost of a hospital stay had been preemptively handled, but you didn't quite have the brain cells to sort it out. You were still on some pain meds and even then there was a good bit of soreness to be dealt with.

There was no way that the drunk who had hit you had been forced to pay for your hospital stay, or anything else so soon after the accident. You didn't have any family, in the Grandline Metro or outside of it. Your work certainly wasn't going to pay for anything they didn't have to, and you didn't have anything like a sugar daddy.

The only logical conclusion was that Kid had decided to pick up the tab, and something about that irritated you. You didn't know him well enough for him to be giving you charity like this. Even if he did feel guilty for you losing your hand – which was painfully obvious – this was too much. It was like he thought you weren't capable of swinging a hospital bill just because you'd been driving a beater.

By the time Kid and Killer arrived you had become irritated and snapped at them as soon as they walked in.

"What the hell, Red?" You growl, the smile on Kid's face melting away. "I know you feel responsible for me losing my hand, but that's no reason to pay my hospital bills! I'm not broke just cause my car was a hunk of junk!"

"Eh? Don't go assigning guilt to people like that!" He threw a wrapped box against the far wall, though for a second you were sure he was going to pelt it at you. "Damn bitch." He grumbles, turning on his heel and storming out of the room.

Killer stays behind, watching Kid leave before turning back to you. He put his hands up in front of him like he was surrendering.

"I come in peace?" He offers.

"Tch. Fine. Come in if you want." You grumble, sinking back into your bed. Being angry had already worn you out and you'd barely raised your voice.

Killer walks in, setting down a small bouquet of flowers by your bed before walking around to the other side and picking up the box Kid had thrown.

"We didn't pay your tab, (y/n)." Killer says after a moment.

"Then who did? Certainly not the drunk." You grouch.

"No idea." Killer shrugs, stepping back around to the side of your bed that's by the door. "Kid did try to pay. I can't say if he does, or doesn't feel responsible for your hand. He just had the means, and I think he felt sympathetic toward you."

"I don't need-." Your words caught in your throat, and you groan. Kid had a big prosthetic arm. It was really hard to miss, and you'd seen at least two versions of it – a gnarly kind of metal one you remember from the accident, and a more subdued, almost normal looking one he'd been wearing while visiting you. Of course, he'd have some sympathy for you, losing your hand, given he was down a whole arm. "Aw, fuck, I am a dick."

"Eh. You've been through some shit the last couple days." Killer offers. "Kid just needs to cool off, and he'll be back."

"Are you everyone's voice of reason, or just his?" You question.

His shoulders shake a bit. "You seem to be doing better today at least, you've got more energy."

"Yeah." You breathe in deep and let it out. "I miss my hand, but if some money-fairy has descended and handled my hospital bill then that frees up some options."

"You could commission Kid." Killer offers. "He's made all the prosthetics he has now."

You smile. "I... don't know that I should. I think trying to pay him for something like that would just end in a fight."

"I wouldn't take yer money anyway, Mouse." Kid grumbles from the doorway.

"Ah, hey, look, I'm sorry about... uh, earlier."

"S'fine." He mutters, coming into the room.

"I still don't know what to think about you two." You admit as Kid sits down in the corner chair.

"Whaddya mean?" He still sounds a little testy, but you couldn't blame him. You'd read him the riot act earlier and it was unfounded.

"I appreciate you guys visiting, and, honestly, I can swallow my pride and appreciate you wantin' to help financially too. But," you chuckle a bit and smile sardonically. "This can't be how I make friends for the first time since school."

"You really ain't got any friends, Mouse?"

"Ah, I mean, I have some coworkers I get along with, but aside from that, not really. Most of my hobbies are indoors, and I don't dislike people, but well..." You clear your throat. "Most of my school friends moved out of the Metro, and there's a couple I keep in touch with, but they're miles away. I don't know, once my mom passed away a couple years ago, I've just kind of... worked." You shrug, and then look back to Eustass. "I have to know though, why do you keep calling me mouse?"

Kid turns his hand as he talks. "Your key chain." He sips whatever drink he'd gotten when he went to cool off. "You should put less charms on your key ring, Mouse. The extra weight can wear out the starter."

Admittedly, you had a lot of little knickknacks on your key ring. You'd find cute small charms while walking the malls, or from little gacha machines, and the ones you liked ended up on your key ring. Between the options he had to pick from, maybe Mouse wasn't such a bad nickname. The idea of someone like Eustass Kid calling you "kitten" or "maid" or "dog" just kind of soured in your mind.

"What if I really don't like that nickname?" You questioned.

Kid shrugs. "I'm not trying to be your friend, Mouse, so -."

Killer clears his throat, and Kid grumbles, taking another drink.

"If it really bothered you, I could... try."

"Eh. I imagine there's worse things to be called by walking volcano with a metal arm."

Kid tried to glare, but with his face turning pink it really diminished his intent. Killer nearly choked on his own drink, and was silently shaking in his chair, trying desperately to stifle his laugh.

"You're a real brat, (Y/N)." Kid grumbled and you laughed as much as you could muster between your injuries.

"Somehow I feel like you're the type to get along with a brat better than, say, a princess." You point out.

Kid opened his mouth to say something, seemed to think better of it, and then finished off the rest of his drink. He got up and picked up the box he'd tossed across the room, that Killer had set by your bed. He turned it over in his hands, knocking crinkles off the wrapping.

"Do you know when they're releasing you?" He asks.

"Tomorrow, if nothing opens up. I heal pretty fast, not like Devil Fruit fast, but nothing's infected and they can't do anything about a prosthetic until it's completely healed anyway."

"Decided what you're going to get?"

There were several kinds of available prosthetics for people. There were mechanical-movement versions, which mimicked neural movements fairly well, but the control was all in learning how to manipulate the mechanisms. Most didn't have fine movement capabilities, and all of them required re-learning how to move whatever they replaced. Another type was single-join or stationary prosthetics, commonly for legs or people who were only wearing one to make other folks more comfortable. With only one or no moving parts, they were more for show than practical use.

The kind becoming more common over the last couple decades, were neurologically connected prosthetics. It was a painful primary procedure, and it required both money and capacity to upkeep, but they moved and worked like actual limbs. All the way down to producing sensations of touch and pressure.

You shrug. "Part of me wants a fully integrated hand. But I don't know if that's necessarily because I need one, or if I just want one. I mean, I've had two hands for my whole life. I'd like to have two hands for the rest of it."

"That sounds like a strong enough reason to go for it." Kid states, setting the rumpled box back where Killer had put it. "You don't have a car right now, Mouse, you need a ride tomorrow?"

"I could get a taxi, but uh, I guess if you're offering, I can accept." You thought about it for a second, remembering the fact that it was nearly the bumper of Kid's truck that slammed into you. You were not nearly as tall as the two men in your room, and you had logistical concerns. "Can I even get into that monster truck of yours?"

Kid grunts as Killer stood up and they headed out with a simple, "get some rest." And you were on your own again.

Admittedly, you were really tired, and as you dozed off you wondered if either of those muscle-heads had noticed. They seemed like really nice guys, especially for a couple of dudes who look like they'd fight god with hammer, a rusty screw driver, and nary a fuck to give between them.

The next day, just as the nurse had anticipated, you were visited by the Marines. A young officer with dark eyes and bubblegum pink hair asked you questions about the accident. He had a partner with him, but the taller blonde didn't seem to be interested in even being there.

You explained the turn of events as best as you could remember.

"Did you want to press charges?" The marine, who said his name was Coby, questions you.

"If he's willing to pay restitution, then I have no reason to do so." You admit. "I've already lost a few days of work, and will be out for another couple weeks at least, plus the cost of replacing my hand. But if he doesn't want to even try to pay for damages, then yes."

"That's acceptable, Miss (Y/N). Did you want to press charges against the secondary collision? Technically, you'd be at fault for it, but with the-."

"No, not at all." You interrupt. "The guys that were in the truck have been apologetic and have been visiting me regularly. They haven't blamed me for any damages to their truck, and it's not their fault that, uh, did you say his name was Mr. Vander?"

Coby nods. "Vander Decken the ninth." He reads from his notes.

"Yeah, it's not their fault that drunk bastard shoved me into the intersection." You say with an obvious irritated edge to your voice.

You catch a faint smile across the young marine's face, but he quickly composes himself to a more professional expression. "Very well, Miss (Y/N), that's all we need today. As things progress we'll be in touch. You're due to be released today, correct?"

"Yeah, later this afternoon."

"Alright. I'll reach out to you at your home in a couple days as a follow-up."

"Thank you officer Coby, I appreciate that."

Now all that was left to do was wait for Kid and Killer and go through the discharge process.

Next Chapter

[darkmaga-returns]

Jan. 6 Committee Chairman Bennie Thompson (D-Miss.) recently stated that he would accept a preemptive pardon from Joe Biden if it were offered to him. Thompson has not been accused of a crime – yet. So, what is he hiding?

Thompson believes his committee did a “wonderful job” investigation January 6. Innocent people do not need pardons. Clearly, Thompson knows something that the public does not. “The president…….it’s his prerogative,” Thompson said, according to The Hill. “If he offers it, to me or other members of the committee, I think it, I would accept it, but it’s his choice.”

Burdick v. United States, 236 U.S. 79 (1915) declared that accepting a pardon is an admission of guilt. “There are substantial differences between legislative immunity and a pardon; the latter carries an imputation of guilt and acceptance of a confession of it, while the former is noncommittal, and tantamount to silence of the witness,” legislation declares. “There is a distinction between amnesty and pardon; the former overlooks the offense, and is usually addressed to crimes against the sovereignty of the state and political offenses, the latter remits punishment and condones infractions of the peace of the state.”

The deep state will say that the committee should be preemptively pardoned in case Donald Trump prosecutes his political enemies as the left has done relentlessly over the past four years. Pardoning Bennie Thompson would also likely result in a pardon for Liz Cheney as both have allegedly destroyed evidence surrounding the J6 case.

[tg-headcanons]

Hello! I don't know if you still do headcanon questions, but I'm curious if you have any for mutsuki x kanae. There's pretty much no content for these two but I like the T4T disasters a lot.

THOSE TWO ARE SO UNDERRATED TOGETHER BUT I LOVE THEM YOU SEE THE VISION

Mutsuki and Kanae meet twice, once as combatants and again as people. The first time they “meet” is when Kanae issues a preemptive strike against the quinx. They’re a powerful potential enemy so he’d rather kill them while they’re still green before they can be a threat to the estate. He’d probably get pretty close to killing them too, but leave a lasting impression. He’s much stronger than he looks.

The next time they’d meet (at least in my au) is during a tentative peace. Probably very early into negotiations between humans and ghouls for some less violent route forward that no one there is very happy to be at. The Tsukiyama family, being some of the most powerful ghouls, will naturally be here wither their guards as representatives of the ghouls and Kanae came with them as the single best weapon they had. The day is long, everyone is uncomfortable, and he and Mutsuki end up on a bench together in between talks. They’re both awkward and tired, but complaining together about how insufferable the negotiators are breaks the ice

They’re a solid fifteen minutes into this conversation when they realize that the other isn’t on their side. Mutsuki thought Kanae was human because he’s so proper, Kanae thought Mutsuki was a ghoul because he smelled like one and had a whole lot of shit to talk about his bosses. It’s only here that they go “HEY YOURE THAT GUY WHO IMPALED ME” and yet by now, that’s not a dealbreaker because god damn it between bureaucrats and a guy who tried to kill you a few times, I’d pick the ladder too. The conversation awkwardly turns more towards who they are and why they were fighting in the first place, and Kanae offered him his number for “in case you need help understanding ghoul culture and points for the negotiations”

What actually ends up happening is them just hanging out. Fortunately for them they are equally bad at cultivating a life outside of work, but that ends up being better for them because they’re in it together when they do anything at all. After a few meetings at a stuffy cafe that Kanae picked out, they got on well enough that they tried doing more normal activities. Seeing movies, going to attractions, visiting each others houses, Kanae thought it was Mutsuki showing him regular human activities but honestly Tooru had never done any of that on his own, this is his first time having a non-ccg friend and doing non-ccg activities with him

Mutsuki loves learning about the ghoul social stuff and Kanae likes sharing it. It’s a whole new world to him, the piles, the rituals, the way more lax view of gender that is far more accommodating to him than humanity was, it’s all so nice to be a part of. Kanae is embarrassingly excited to share it, for once he can drop the high society stuff and see a whole new appreciation for things he took for granted, and it’s nice learning about humans too. He doesn’t like them, but he can make an exception for this one because the way he talks about it is captivating

Kanae doesn’t even realize he’s doing boyfriend things to Mutsuki until Shuu calls him out on it. Rubbing up against him to scentmark him, sharing meals without getting territorial, letting him in his room, that is pretty intimate by ghoul standards and by the time Tsukiyama refers to him, unfortunately, as his cousin’s “little plaything” he’s in too deep. He is down horrendous

When they make it official it’s after everyone and their dog already assumed they were together. They were the last to find out. They are so weird about it because neither of them has every dated before and their only references for how partners worked is rich people arranged marriages, whatever the fuck Shuu is doing with his men, movies, and Mutsuki observing Kaneki and Hide like gay little insects. Mutsuki gets a habit of bringing him little trinkets and Kanae sends flowers since Shuu has taught him the meanings of them. He doesn’t think Mutsuki is that into flower language but he likes sending them even if he doesn’t understand

Tooru learns that if you’re dating Kanae, that means you are going to have to let Shuu get involved. Shuu LOVES that his cousin is finally in a relationship and insists on inviting Tooru to things. Unfortunately 90% of those things are fucking with him and trying to see how he reacts to various inconveniences. But once he decides that he likes him he takes Tooru and his cousin along on one of his many attempts to get them clothes he thinks would look better on them. He is shocked and disgusted that BOTH of them wear the Dysphoria Cargo Pants when not in uniform and needs to fix it

A fairly common date for them is just sort of roaming the city and climbing the buildings in their ghoul masks. Kanae used to patrol territory this way and hunt from these vantage points, and it’s become something of a routine for him that he can’t kick even now that he’s not supposed to be hunting anymore. So now it’s a weird Ghoul Mask Romantic Parkour Event they do, and it’s helped Mutsuki with his kagune motor control skills

Once they’ve been together awhile Kanae tends to grab Tooru and groom him like a dominant mouse. He’s so in the habit of tending to Shuu and the other servant and making them look presentable that he will trap his boyfriend with his kagune to fix his hair and clothes then let him go like a sheep that’s been sheered and tossed back out to the pasture. It’s so normal to them but it’s hilarious for anyone else to watch

[armagoworldbuilding]

There was this large warship, once thought lost. It was a threatening sight, armed with a vast, spinal tachyon emitter, arrays of artillery, it's own squadron of interceptor drones... out there, unmanned, sailing on its own.

With its crew gone, it traveled across the warped void, now barren and peaceful. From system to system, it wandered, aimlessly, feeding off starlight with its solar sails. A signal could be detected coming from it: it was constantly broadcasting the space shanties its crew once sung, for anyone in its vicinity to listen.

In one of its trips around civilized space, the concerned locals carefully tried to contact the lost ship, and the ship replied. It gladly shared with them its story:

It was a survivor of the colossal war against the dreaded Eclipsers, and the swarms of violence itself that followed the failure to stop said dreaded ones. Once the last major dregs of that galactic apocalypse were slain, many of the remaining spacefaring forces retired, joining the rest of the survivors in the grand task to build their homes, old and new, and making them thrive.

This warship's crew, exhausted from their long quest, were no exception.

They didn't do so with light hearts, for they knew the ship, sapient as most vessels from the shipyards of Cawlgel are, would miss its little brethren that kept its insides working and organized during the many harsh battles it faced in the past, but both the crew and the ship itself knew they deserved to rest after their campaign, and so they did.

The ship chose to make the best of its new circumstances, now left to its own will. Inspired by the suggestions it heard from its old friends before they left, it decided to adapt its own learning protocols. Once nothing more than its own shifting algorithms, it developed fully fledged curiosity, and to sate it, to entertain itself, it chose to travel, explore. For the sake of it, to pay attention to all it couldn't notice before, when it was preoccupied with its original duties.

It did admit, however, that it still felt lost. But...

That did not remain that way. Word spread about the sentient vessel, and out there, somewhere, some spacefarers invited it to their shipyards: they had an offer for it. And the ship obliged, out of genuine interest.

A few of its old friends were there, spacecraft mechanics and engineers, alongside many new friends they made during the rebuilding of life and society. The ship was retrofitted for a new purpose: to mine asteroids to supply the new civilizations. A lot of its weaponry recycled, many former ammo cargo bays repurposed into more general purpose cargo bays and even some on-board industrial refineries, its squadron of drones fitted with mining lasers, tractor beams and cargo holds. The tachyon emitter remained: too much effort to remove such a large weapon, and they might as well be ready if they find an old horror in their new quest. I've heard that for now they're using it to preemptively melt down asteroids, so there's that.

Geared up for its new purpose, and crewed by friends old and new, the old warship is now a renowned hero of our rebuilding efforts, bringing in vast hauls of much-needed minerals and materials it finds in its long expeditions, whether from asteroids or long-lost debris.

[newtedison]

i'm participating in Fandom Trumps Hate!

i know i rb'd tea's post about it but i wanted to make my own post announcing this. i've never participated before so i'm really excited!

obviously you guys will be interested in me offering the maze runner but jsyk i am also offering star trek and high school musical. in fact i am the ONLY person offering high school musical, so. i expect my line to be OUT THE DOOR!

you all know what i like for TMR you know what i'm about. i'm a newtmas, brenderesa, brinho, or sonyarriet girlie at heart, but if you are donating money for me to write something i am willing to listen to what you want. i will also do genfic for all fandoms offered :~) i go into more detail on the offering post but feel free to message me before bidding starts if you have any preemptive wishes!

i'm offering a 10-20k fic which might sound insane but i've noticed that my fics tend to naturally land around the ~15k mark so this seems reasonable to me, especially when given until the end of the year to do it. but the minimum bid is $5 :~)

once again feel free to message me about what i'd be willing to do if you aren't sure. peace and love <3

[oh-katsuki]

IN LIGHT OF THE JJK CHAPTER I AM PREEMPTIVELY SENDING YOU LOVE AND AFFECTION IN THESE TRYING TIMES

Very genuinely btw, I know the caps might make it seem otherwise but I am truly offering you all the best wishes and love right now i hope you have a lovely day in spite of the explosion currently happening online

i genuinely like.. what the fuck am i supposed to??? do??? im actually like... devastated what the hell. oh christ.

thank you for the well wishes i am so distraught im sick to MY STOMACH. i am sending u so much love and hopefully peace bc i......... '

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK>??? WHAT???!! WHAT THE HELL!!???@?@

[dragoneyes618]

"In probably no other area of ethics are the differences between Judaism and the New Testament as pronounced as on issues of self-defense, and responses toward evil people. Both Jesus (in his Sermon on the Mount) and the Talmud articulate their positions unequivocally: "If anyone hits you on the right cheek, offer him the other as well."

- Matthew 5:38-39

The early Zionist essayist, Ahad Ha'am, comments: "If I practice love to the extent that when you smite me on the right cheek, I offer you the left also, I am thereby encouraging injustice. I, like you, am therefore guilty of the injustice that is practiced. In an argument with the pacifist writer Leo Tolstoy, Thomas Masaryk (1850-1937), the great (non-Jewish) humanist and founding president of Czechoslovakis, expressed a similar notion: "If someone attacks me with the intention of killing me, I shall defend myself, and if I cannot avoid it, I shall kill the attacker. If one of us two must be killed, let the one be killed who has the bad intentions." Indeed, Masaryk's words sound as if they came straight out of the Talmud:

"If someone comes to kill you, kill him first."

- Sanhedrin 72a

A thousand years before the Talmud, the Torah likewise legislated that one need not wait until an opponent has begun his violent attack. Strong circumstantial evidence of murderous intentions constituted sufficient provocation; thus, "If a thief is seized while tunneling his way [into a house during the nighttime] and is smitten so that he die, there is no bloodguilt...." (Exodus 22:1).

Although the Bible offers no rationale to justify the killing of a would-be thief, the Talmud does. In an admittedly speculative passage, it tries to enter into the mindset of the kind of burglar who tunnels into an occupied house (had the house been empty, he would have entered in a less arduous way, e.g., through the door or window). Such a thief, the Talmud reasons, is fully aware that he might encounter resistance, yet makes the following calculation: "If the owner fights me and tries to prevent me from taking his property, I will fight back, and if need be, kill him" (Babylonian Talmud, Sanhedrin 72a). The Talmud concludes that that is why the Torah permits the homeowner to take preemptive action.

What additional guideline do the Hebrew Bible and the New Testament offer for dealing with a violent attack? Again, Jesus' teaching seems blunt and equivocal: "Offer the wicked man no resistance" (Matthew 5:38-39).

In contrast, the Hebrew Bible repeatedly reiterates that one should offer the evildoer forceful opposition. On several occasions, the Torah enjoins, "You shall burn the evil out from your midst" (Deuteronomy 7:17). It also describes Moses' killing of an Egyptian taskmaster who was beating a Jewish slave (Exodus 2:12).

While a few Christian sects such as the Jehovah's Witnesses still hold themselves bound by Jesus' pacifism, almost every nation with a large Christian population has chosen to disregard or reinterpret his words. Indeed, Jesus' foremost twentieth-century disciple on this issue has turned out to be not a religious Christian, but a devout Hindu, Mahatma Gandhi. During the Second World War, when it appeared that Nazi Germany might overwhelm England, Gandhi offered the British the following advice: "I would like you to lay down the arms you have as being useless for saving you or humanity. You will invite Herr Hitler and Signor Mussolini to take what they want of the countries you call your possessions....If these gentlemen choose to occupy your homes you will vacate them. If they do not give you free passage out, you will allow yourselves, man, woman, and child to be slaughtered, but you will refuse to owe allegiance to them" (Non-Violence in Peace and War).

A few years earlier, in the final months before World War II erupted, Gandhi had offered German Jews similar wisdom for overcoming Nazi antisemitism:

"I am as certain as I am dictating these words that the stoniest German heart will melt [if only the Jews]...adopt active non-violence. Human nature...unfailingly responds to the advances of love. I do not despair of his [Hitler's] responding to human suffering even though caused by him."

- Mahatam Gandhi (in his newspaper Harijan, December 17 and 24, 1938, and January 7, 1939). I have drawn these quotes of Gandhi from Gideon Shimoni's far-reaching analysis, Gandhi, Satagraha, and the Jews; see, in particular, pages 46, 51-52, and 59.

Jews reacted to Gandhi's words with pain, scorn, and incredulity. The philosopher Martin Buber, referring to the link between Jesus' and Gandhi's teachings, responded to Gandhi in an open letter:

"We did not proclaim, as did Jesus, the son of our people, and as you do, the teaching of nonviolence, because we believe that a man must sometimes use force to save himself or, even more, his children."

Six years and six million murdered Jews later, Gandhi offered some postmortem wisdom to the dead Jews:

Gandhi: [ in a June 1946 conversation with his biographer, Louis Fischer] "Hitler killed five million [sic] Jews. It is the greatest crime of our time. But the Jews should have offered themselves to the butcher's knife. They should have thrown themselves into the sea from cliffs."

Fischer: "You mean that the Jews should have committed collective suicide?"

Gandhi: "Yes, that would have been heroism."

- Jewish Wisdom, Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, pages 420-423