#this is so much though i mean!!!!! WOW!!!!!!!!

[yuanist]

kuroo, you think, has been out here for quite a while now. 

when you left to go meet with your study group—sometime between six-thirty and seven—the snow was just beginning to pile up. it hadn't started sticking to the roads yet, but you could see the vapor slip from the few leaves left on the trees; a symptom of early winter, you suppose. 

now, though, there must be four or five inches out here. the old oak tree that hangs over your building is starting to sag, and the moon seems heavier than it did before, hanging lowly along the glow of street light. 

kuroo is sitting on the steps up to your apartment, looking down at his phone. he has more than a few flakes in his hair, and if it wasn't for the ridge in the snow where he'd pushed it aside to sit, you'd think he'd been out here the whole time. 

"cold?" you ask, shuffling towards him. you can hear the crunch of your feet under you. 

"me? never."

he looks up at you then and, you'll admit, you like seeing him like this. lately, he's been against the whole 'text me before you come over' thing, and you know it's mostly because you don't reply, but, in part, that's so you can see him here. 

his hands are half-tucked under the sleeves of his coat, and there's a stretch of pink from the tops of his cheeks to the tip of his nose. his lips are chapped (you can only assume from being out here so often) and there's a little smile tugging at the sides of his mouth, his tongue poking out from behind his teeth. 

"oh, you want me to leave you out here then? give you a little more time?" you're smug—or, at least you're trying to be, anyway. the more time you spend with kuroo, the worse you are at pretending you don't like him. recently, you've been failing at that more than you'd care to admit. 

"hey, i didn't say that." he sinks his teeth into his lower lip. "plus, what's the point of coming all the way over here if i can't see my favorite girl?" 

you shake your head at him, aiming your chin towards the ground. in a strange way, you feel like you're suffocating.

"you mean the cat?" you ask.

and he chuckles, "sure." 

a beat of silence hangs in the air for a second, before you plod your way up the steps, pulling your keys out of your pocket. you can hear kuroo rise behind you, attempting to brush some of the moisture out of his sleeves. 

"y'know," you say, pushing the key into the door. "if you like coming over when i'm not home so much, i could tell the neighbor to let you in." 

his hood rustles; he's shaking his head. 

"where's the fun in that? kinda ruins my whole 'mysterious stranger' act." 

"also kinda ruins the 'guy stalking the apartment complex' act." you swing the door open and make your way up the stairs. "i'm sure everyone is so enthused by the guy sitting on the stairs every friday." 

a laugh, "oh i'm sure. if they report me for loitering promise you'll come bail me out?" 

"depends on how much i like you that day." you can feel the heat of your apartment as you approach the end of the hall. 

"really," he says. "if they took me in right now?" 

"i would think about it." you pause. "maybe." 

"wow." you can hear the rasp in his voice as he drags out the 'o.' "tough crowd." 

your apartment smells like pine and vanilla—the workings of two little wax melters on opposite sides of the rooms. you turned them off before you left (you double and triple-checked), but the scent lingers, itching at your nose as you cross through the door. 

kuroo follows close behind, scaping his shoes off on the mat before slipping them onto the little shoe rack in the corner. his jacket squeaks as he shrugs it off—a sound so distinctly made from the shifting of wet nylon that you barely have to turn around to identify it. 

every time he follows you up here, you find yourself glancing around your apartment—looking for something that could possibly be out of place. something incriminating: three-day-old dishes that you know you already washed; your vibrator, forgotten on the nightstand, even though you remember putting it back in its designated drawer. 

for some reason, you have a tendency to think that the things around your home that make you distinctly human are also the things that would make you distinctly unappealing. you're aware of how silly the thought is, but there you are, quickly looking over at your nightstand as you stick your coat back in the closet. 

"so," you hum, rubbing a bit of the warmth back into your hands. "to what do i owe the pleasure tonight? you here to eat all of my leftovers again?" 

"depends," he says. "you have leftovers to be eaten?" 

"not this time." you make your way to the couch, and he pouts, following behind you. "but if i did, they'd be all yours." 

"aw, you mean it?" you eye him. "i'm honored." 

as much as you hate to admit it, this has sort of become habit. you come home a little later than expected and you find kuroo sitting on your front stoop. you're not exactly sure how any of it started—or, really, how the two of you became friends in the first place—but you ran in the same circles for a while and, eventually, you ended up here. 

"well," he begins, slinging his arm over the back of the couch. "study group?" 

"boring." you nudge your way beneath his shoulder. "practice?"

"thrilling, obviously. greatest two hours of my life, even. i think you could go as far as to—" you eye him again. "same thing as yesterday." 

you chuckle, swatting a hand into his chest. 

there's silence for a moment, something warm pulling through the air of the room. quiet breaths spill from kuroo's lips, and you resign yourself to listening to each one—in, and out. 

he still smells cold; like the heavy, wet snow you have to shovel off of the porch the morning after a blizzard. for every breath, it lessens, bleeding into the heat of the room, but you let the scent linger at the base of your nose. 

you're not sure how much time you've spent taking in pieces of kuroo, but you know it's more than you ever plan to tell. you know his hands take longer to warm up than the rest of him—he chalks it up to bad circulation most of the time, you know that too; he rarely spends a night at home because he doesn't like sitting in silence; he twitches sometimes, when he's nervous, a little flick of his hands; his favorite color is red but sometimes he's drawn to deep blues because he likes the sky better when it's absent of stars—he says there's something enchanting about the abyss. 

he's too dense to know you're in love with him but too smart to think you're not. sometimes you catch him looking at you after you say something in a tone a little too far beyond friendly and you swear that he knows what you mean. sometimes, you think he's going to break the silence, and, sometimes, you think he never will. 

tonight, he swings his head back, eyes lightly shut, slowly sinking into the back of the couch. you can hear the sputter of your vents and the sound of the wind against the windows—snow still trying to fight its way through the glass.  

you're going to ask him to stay the night tonight—you already know it. you're going to wake up to him on the couch tomorrow, with his hair messed up, and his eyes half-lidded, and that stupid look on his face that makes you want to slip your tongue into his mouth. 

you're going to think about that time you slept together last year—once, after a halloween party—and you're going to think about the way the inside of his mouth tasted; you're going to sink your teeth into your lips so hard that you're going to bleed. 

you're going to consider telling him that you love him, that you always have and you think you always will, and then you're going to ask him if he wants coffee instead—hoping the smell of the pot is enough to make your head feel less fuzzy. 

you're going to wait, and hope he says something, even though you'll know he never does. and then, next friday, when you come home to him sitting on your front steps, you're going to do it all again. 

reblogs are always appreciated! ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡

[satoruarchive]

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) TODAY’S CONTENTS : 16+ / cursing / reader is suspicious!.. / a little bit of angst(?) / fem!reader / reader is scared of bugs / reader is described shorter than satoru / satoru’s kindaaa a bitch / let me know if i missed any warnings <3 ★ ˎˊ˗ series m.list ★ ˎˊ˗ wc : 3.7k (how did we go from 2.5k to..)

“tokyo jujutsu high..” you lean back against your seat in the train as an overwhelming feeling takes over you. this is going to be your new life — as a jujutsu sorcerer. this is what you signed up for, so no take backsies, right? even so, you can’t shake off the lingering feeling within you that tells you today is going to be much more than just a.. ‘long day’

“Excuse me, can you stop your mumbling?” your head snapped towards the sound, a look of embarrassment washing over you, realizing you’ve been talking to yourself like an idiot.

“oh, my apologies.” you force a smile at the old man who had been clearly trying to sleep, silently cursing yourself for choosing the worst possible seat — it doesn’t look like there are any decent ones, now that you look around.

“whew, everyone on this train looks real sketchy..” and you’re back to mumbling to yourself. i can’t even get my head straight right now.. the overburning feelings of excitement and stress cling to your heart. this is a big day for you, isn’t it?

you were told you were the replacement for some.. ‘crazy guy’ who slaughtered an entire village and left the jujutsu society. you wonder how his teammates feel about that — are they mad about what he did? sad that he left? or worse, scared of him even? no — maybe all at once. “sounds like a bunch of bullshit though..” you sub-consciously mutter. i mean, who is crazy enough to kill the people they swore to protect?

you can’t help but stare out of the window, a state of frenzy taking over you. determination flows through your body, you’re ready for this, these are just the few small steps you need to a—

“attention passengers,” a voice echoes through the train “we’ve arrived at tokyo — may all passengers please depart carefully, i repeat, we’ve arrived at-“

a frustrated groan leaves your lips, maybe you did want the train ride to last just a little longer. the boost of confidence you had early had quickly seemed to dissipate into thin air. come on, you’ve got this..

despite the hesitating thoughts, you don’t waste another second without arising from your seat, nearly stumbling onto your belongings. a sheepish apology quickly slips out of your mouth in a desperate attempt to not make any further noise while leaving your seat, lurking behind the stretching line of people exiting the train.

the almost never-ending line slowly becomes smaller and smaller until you’ve finally reached the train gate. as soon as you walk out and enter the train station, you’re greeted with the beautiful scenery of tokyo. it’s your first time experiencing the grace of such a serene place in real time — it’s almost distracting, really, the sound of birds chirping by and people bustling everywhere — hold on, something smells a little..

“hey, i’m here.” a hand waves over your face, causing you to flip around quickly and you’re greeted by the sight of a girl with short brown hair and a cigarette sitting in between her lips — so that’s where the smell is coming from. “oh.” you eye her uniform, easily recognising the jujutsu tech uniform that bared similarities to yours.

“wow, you’re pretty.” you attempt to ignore the smoke hitting your face by throwing in a compliment, miserably failing as you slip out a couple of coughs— ahem. . you clear your throat.

the girl notices your discomfort quickly. “sorry.” she removes the cigarette from her mouth, letting the tip burn and the end falling to the ground.

“no, no, its fine.” you shake your hands, sighing in relief when you finally taste some fresh air. “so, you’re shoko right?” a curious gaze displays your features.

“mhm, i am shoko.” she confirms your statement. “Mr. Yaga sent me to escort you, he rambled quite a bit about you.” shoko briefly glances your way as you subtly nod at her words, gesturing you to follow her. you wonder what Mr. Yaga could have possibly said about you — hopefully good things.

“so you’re replacing suguru, huh?” she says it almost as a fact and not a question. honestly, she is also a little unsure about the replacement like satoru— maybe not as worried as him, but she still expresses a sense of uneasiness — she is suguru’s friend too after all. . or was.

you haven’t even noticed that she’s talking to you, her words entering into one ear and out of the other. you’re inattentively staring straight ahead, mind too occupied with thoughts to notice her voice. your ears are ringing with theories about what could of seemingly caused their friend to do such an insane 360 — or maybe im thinking about it too much, he’s not what im after anyway..

“heeyy? you there?”

“oh, yeah, i am.” your response came off a little delayed. damn it, focus. you shake your head, trying to get rid of the lingering thoughts, it’s not the time to let your head get swayed.

“so. . is smoking even allowed in there?” you ask with a half-hearted snicker, a desperate attempt to save conversation.

“no, but if you don’t get caught then it never happened.” she shrugs. “not much of a smoker, are you?” the teasing glint in her voice makes you a little embarrassed, a nervous smile bracing your lips. “no, not really haha.”

“nothing to be embarrassed about, im just poking you.” her reassurance made you sigh in relief, perhaps this wasn’t going to be as difficult as you assumed it was.

“actually.. i wanted to ask something.” shoko turns her head in your direction, awaiting your question expectantly. there’s an unsure expression on your face, contemplating your words.

“why did your teammate-“ the words are about to roll off your tongue when suddenly a strange noise causes you to choke on your words — ring ring.

well isn’t that just great.

“sorry, gimmie a sec.” shoko looks at you apologetically as she takes her flip-phone out of her pocket. she checks the contact name, satoru. you managed to take a peep in time to see who’s calling.

the name leaves your throat a little dry. satoru gojo — from the gojo family. his existence itself makes curses quiver. a sense of rage boils up within you, hearing the name of the gojo clan itself makes your teeth grit.

your eyes narrow for a moment as you faintly hear his voice on the other side of the phone, words being exchanged. “stop calling, im almost there.” shoko hung up, her attention diverting back to you. she doesn’t miss the scowl on your face. “something wrong?”

“oh, no, nothing.” you snap out of your trance before your kettle could pop, your lips curling upward. “who’s ‘satoru’?” you fake a curious look. play dumb — that’s it.

“you don’t know satoru gojo?” shoko lets out a humorous laugh, faltering a little when she sees the serious look on your face. “he’s from one of the big clans, the strongest sorcerer of our generation, they say.” she simply shrugged. “don’t worry about it, he’s all talk, no bark.” she gives you a reassuring look, not what you would of expected from a gojo clan member — but perhaps you should take her word for it, for now.

theres a strangely comforting silence as you follow behind her, you could feel the air getting chilly and shivers vibrating through your body. shoko doesn’t seem to be affected much by it. maybe i should’ve brought a coat.

“anyways, we’re at the outskirts of tokyo now.” you squint your eyes, seeing a big building a few feet away. “well, you’re officially a sorcerer now. its not as exciting as it sounds, though.” she gives you a teasing look.

“i know that.” you roll your eyes. you both take a few more steps, finally arriving at the gate. behind the gate you spot multiple buildings. you have to stand still and collect your breath for a moment, so this is jujutsu tech.

“woah, it’s huge.” of course you knew a place with sorcerer’s from one of the biggest clans wasn’t going to be any joke, but it’s hard not to be swayed by such a breath-taking place.

“come on, lets go.” she takes your hand and walks through the gate. you closely inspect every sight on your way. wow, this place was pretty. you’re almost jealous of it’s radiance.

you’re taken to a bridge where shoko spots a familiar lean figure slouched against the railing with a sulky pout. the chalk-white hair that fell over his eyes, having to push them back with his long fingers and you almost get a view of the famous six eyes the gojo family is known for — those serene blue eyes that can put you in a daze with a look — wait, are you in a daze?

“not you too..” shoko slams her face causing you to snap out of your daydreams in a panicked oh! “im going to hide your face with a cardboard box one day, i swear.” a nasty side-eye was sent satoru’s way.

you thought him ‘charming people with one look’ (such big talk!) was mere gossip amongst the crowd. i mean, he couldn’t be that beautiful right?

you’ve never been more wrong.

“huuuuuh? so it’s my fault now?” satoru crosses his arms, a pout visible on his face. shoko already knows his ego is already swelling with pride, ‘cause he just can’t control the fact that he’s oh-so beautiful, can he?

“oh. . uh.” you finally realize his tall figure looming over you, taking a few steps back as he sizes you up, those piercing cold eyes were antagonising, anything but friendly. resentment runs through your body — it really is him, satoru gojo.

“this is stupid.” satoru let out a huff, pulling away and crossing his arms. “we don’t need a replac—“ satoru freezes in place when he catches the striking scowl on shoko’s face. “whatever. it’s ‘nice’ to meet you.” how much more pettier could he get?

“wellllll, ahem.” you let out a cough, trying to compose yourself. “my apologies. you’re satoru right?” you ask with a friendly smile on your face, but it’s almost like he can see through it with the way he eyes you. as if his icy orbs were poking right through your skull, did a shiver just run down your spine?

“it’s gojo to you.” a huff escaped his mouth and he turned away, refusing to even look at you, as if he was destined to hate you the exact moment you met — well, at least that’s something you both have in common.

shoko could only smack her forehead with her palm. when suguru joined sorcery, him and satoru didn’t hit it off immediately, it took them a while to get used to eachother’s company and get over their silly rivalry.

yet she has this strange feeling it might not be the same with you.

“ignore him, he’s just been a big whiny bitch about about the idea of a replacement.” shoko places a hand over your shoulder, ignoring the offended look satoru gave her, he was no ‘whiny bitch’ about it.. okay, maybe he was… just a little.

“speaking off..” you finally take your chance. “why’d your old teammate leave?” as soon as the words spilled out of your throat, you quickly notice how a cold tension develops in the air. you take a glance at satoru, oh. he doesn’t look very pleased you brought that up. .

“what’s it to you?” he snickers, tone comes off with an edge of hurt. he can’t say he’s over it, that he moved on, that would be a blatant lie. the reoccuring images of that day play in his head, not a single flaw in the vision of that scene — and it hurts.

you almost feel bad for bringing it up, since it clearly wasn’t the. . ‘right time’. you rub your hands together, its cold. was it always this chilly out here?

“i was just ask—“ “well, it’s none of your damn business.”

you can almost feel his glare, as if it was stabbing daggers right through your mind. teeth clenching, you hate that look, it’s just like them all. just like every other g—

“we’ll talk about it later.” shoko finally says something, you let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding. “im going to show her around for a bit, satoru. bye.” shoko waved as she quickly pulled you away from the bridge. phew.

“so i definitely killed the mo-“ you’re immediately cut off. “don’t bring that up in front of him, god.” shoko laughs. “it’s a sensitive topic for him.”

shoko looked up for a brief moment, exhaling. “suguru — he was our old teammate. they both were practically inseparable, i’m guessing you know he left and all.” you take in her words, suguru geto, of course you already knew who he was.

“im guessing you also wont tell me why he left.” you laugh, yet a curious gaze still present, hoping to hit the jackpot. “well.” shoko lets out a quiet hum and you’re kept on your toes, anticipating, as if watching a love confession in a movie. come on. .

“why do you wanna know so bad?” ah, shit. you almost let a groan leave your lips, you knew it was never going to be that easy, yet it’s just as frustrating.

“im just a little curious, from the things i heard he did some prettyyy crazy things, y’know?” woah, good save. “i can’t argue with you on that.” shoko laughs bitterly. “ill tell you some other time, though. its your first day here, let me tour you for real.”

you nod at her words, trailing behind her as she leads you to a hallway. you take a good look around — must be the dorms.

“so this is where the dorms are.” you look to the direction shoko points at. “your dorm is the one on the right, next to.. satoru’s.” she gives you an apologetic look. “theres no other rooms with essentials as of now, hope he wont be a big pain in the ass for you.”

you acknowledge her words, slowly moving to the room, paying a lot more attention to satoru’s door than yours — there was nothing special about it, yet you can’t shake the feeling that everything’s going a bit.. too smooth. your dorm being right next to his is like a lottery ticket, it’ll make everything much easier, but it’s almost too good to be true — or maybe you’re just overthinking it.

aside from that, it’s also not the best thing in the world. it’ll be perfect for your mission, and yet one day you might just end up punching that arrogant expression on his face from irritation — a double edged sword, they say.

“you can do whatever you want with the room, you listening?” you turn back to shoko, giving her a half-hearted smile. “oh, yeah, definitely.” shoko gives you a suspicious look. “ill take your word for it.. anyway, Mr. Yaga wants to see us tomorrow for a mission so you can prepare for that.”

“wow, mission already? it’s not a piece of cake, huh?” you joke. “consider yourself lucky, a lot of people have it way worse.” she teases you. “im going to go back to my own room — 303 if you’ve got any questions.” she gives you a pat on the shoulder before heading to the third floor, leaving you with the key to your dorm.

you slowly approach the door, finding yourself inspecting the door carefully as if something might jump out and hurt you, paranoid much.

rest assured, there was nothing set up. (obviously. .) you’re fiddling with your keys, about to open the door—

footsteps. the noise causes your ears to perk up immediately, turning around in a defensive stance to see whoever it is— oh.

“woah.” satoru raises his hand in the air defensively. “you ‘tryna to kill me or something?” redness spreads across your face as you immediately stand up straight. “im not armed, that was just a reflex.” you shoot him a glare. clearly, both of you were still petty about earlier.

“you were reaaaaalll nice with shoko huh?” suddenly he’s leaning in close. too close. is he onto you? is your journey over right here right now? maybe you were stupid for thinking you co- “there’s no mistake about it..” he scratches his chin.

“what?” you clench your fist in annoyance, its like your patience disappears whenever it comes to him.

“you’ve got a bug in your hair, do you even wash it?”

. . . .

“wait, what?” a rush of panic washes over you. “where is it!? wait, gojo!” you look up to him with a pitiful expression, only to be met with a teasing smirk. “ohhh, so you’re scared of bugs.” he’s saying it as if he’s keeping tabs on you or something. . he definitely is.

“i was just playing with you.” he shrugs nonchalantly. “seriously, how are you gonna fight a curse if you’re scared of a ‘lil ole bug?” oh this little tease.

“you’re seriously. asking to be punched, gojo.” you attempt to come off as intimidating as you can. unfortunately for you, you’re dealing with the cockiest man on this planet.

“what happened to ‘yer nice little demeanour huuuh? or does it just not apply t’me?” he’s easily towering over you, you don’t know why he’s so.. adamant to get to you. every word that comes out of his mouth — god, give me patience.

“bold of you to assume you deserve a single ounce of kindness.” ouch. the exasperated look on his face proved he did not take your comment lightly.

“oh yeah? don’t get arrogant just ‘cause you happen to get picked as a replacement.” there’s a strange venom in his words, you can’t tell whether it's targeted towards you. just why did he have to be so hard to read?

“just what are you so mad about, that you have to come bother someone else about it?” you bite back. “oh, yeah, me mad, suuuuureee. as if you didn’t look like you wanted to kill me a few seconds ago.” he retorts right back at you.

this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. you’re supposed to be nice to him and gain his trust — but that lingering anger in your heart is taking over you, the same coldness you loathe feeling — that cold look in his eyes, its just like them all. it’s like your feelings are speaking for you, as if your heart is pouring itself out.

present you would laugh at the fact that just an hour ago, you thought you’d be able to befriend him with ease. like a walk in the park, you’ll shoot him a kind smile just like you did with shoko, compliment his eyes maybe, yet it seems like you were destined to be enemies at first sight.

“and you know what? maybe you should be careful, ‘cause i will.” you shoot back, but satoru’s obviously not taking your threat seriously — ‘what could a wimp like her do to me?’

“oh please.” he grabs the collar of your shirt. “if you want me to be the last thing you see ill make it happen right n-“

“satoru, what are you doing?” a stern voice is heard from behind satoru and he immediately pulls away. you immediately recognise the man as the principle — Masamichi Yaga.

“nothinnggggg.” what a liar, you almost want to rat him out but technically it’s your fault as well. . .

“you’re the new student, aren’t you?” the man approaches you while satoru quietly observes. “yeah-“ your voice comes out in a stutter. “i am..”

“it’s your first day here, and you’re already fighting with that lunatic.” a grumble escaped his lips. his tone held a sense of aloofness, he doesn’t seem like someone who plays around. “don’t let me find this behaviour continuing.”

“but he started it f-“ you don’t even have time to respond and he’s leaving. your first encounter with the principle and its great, wow.

“but sirrrr, but heee..!” satoru mocks you from the side, and you have half a mind to not kick him in the face right there.

“im done arguing with an immature jerk like you.” you declare confidently, knowing you’re just as immature as him. “woooooah, look at miss victim being the bigger person, aren’t you sooo admir-“ by the time he’s done talking, you’ve already slammed the door to your room shut, causing him to flinch a little.

“gee, she’s ‘annoyin alright.” satoru opens the door to his own room with his key. walking inside and flopping onto the bed immediately. the AC is turned on in a beat. satoru can feel his mind relax as the cool air hits his body.

today’s tiring. there’s a lot of new unwanted thoughts swarming his mind, many of them being you.

in fact — ever since he heard about you replacing suguru, he’s been unable to help the hatred that filled his heart. is it hatred? or is he scared? the thought of someone else taking suguru’s place, for some reason, it irks him.

“maaaan, feelings are just as annoying as her.” satoru grumbled, resting his head on his arms. “i swear ‘somethin about her rubs me the wrong way.”

he’s not taking himself too seriously. he’s probably just thinking about it too much because he’s overwhelmed. he’ll take a nap and forget about it soon enough. (if only he followed his ‘divine intuition’.)

you, on the other hand, are quite literally panicking. unable to even lay down on your bed. you’re staring at the wall in disbelief, you’ve made it so far, you can’t afford to mess up now. but that look in his eyes — it brings back too many memories you’ve been wanting to forget.

maybe he was just playing around when you were fighting, but you’ve realised it now. he really can kill you if he wanted to. it makes you doubt yourself — if you even hold a fraction of his power. you knew it was never going to be easy, but it makes you wonder.

“just how will i assassinate gojo satoru?”

(˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶) TAGLIST : @kuroogguk @ilovelinkk @kr1nqu @creamflix (open!)

★ ˎˊ˗ a/n : first chapter !! uh funfact reader was not suppose to have ulterior motives and the story was just suppose to be a simple rivals to lovers thing but while reader was talking to shoko i was like, why not give her a cliche assassin story 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️ hope you enjoyed reading!!

[duskdog]

It's unfortunate that there wasn't more time given to Steph and Helena beyond the early one-shot they had together. That could have been a really good long-standing relationship. Likewise, I think the relationship between Steph and Dinah could have been great if it had lasted longer. In the beginning, Dinah was obviously reluctant/uncomfortable with it, and they never really had the chance to push through that awkwardness because they were all wrapped up in the Bruce Wayne murderer/fugitive case. (This was all made extra complicated by the fact that Steph didn't even know that Bruce and Batman were the same person, so she was entirely lost during this period, confused about why Batman had abruptly abandoned her, while everyone around her knew or discovered the truth but couldn't/wouldn't tell her. Having to hide that from her while dealing with trying to investigate and exonerate Bruce really seemed to make Steph's presence extra stressful and annoying to everyone else. This whole thing was pretty rotten, btw -- Steph couldn't do anything but speculate on the reasons for Batman's absence, and naturally assumed it was because of something she had done, and she was left to process her feelings of rejection and abandonment all by herself.) Ultimately, Dinah also rejected her -- albeit somewhat more gently than Batman did, but telling her to "go back to the Batboys" was a pretty nasty kick in the pants, considering the entire reason Steph was there was because "the Batboys" had rejected her first (and by Batboys I primarily mean Batman; Tim was away at boarding school for most of this, and also hurting over how Batman had betrayed him by revealing his secret identity to Steph without his consent). Babs wasn't really a great mentor until much later, after Steph returned from "the dead" and took up the Batgirl mantle. Prior to that, she was routinely snippy, cold, and sometimes downright mean to Steph. (For example: when Steph claims Cass broke her jaw, and both Cass and Babs claim she didn't, only to later admit to each other that they knew that she did, in fact, fracture it a wee bit -- like yeah, it's minor in the grand scheme of things, but why gaslight her about that at all? Babs even jokes -- in that deadpan way she has that leaves you wondering if it's really a joke or not -- that Cass should have really broken it good. Like damn, Babs, is that necessary?) Steph never actually seemed to hold this against Babs at the time, though, and their relationship improved significantly once Babs decided to give Steph a shot as Batgirl, after all. It was never fraught with as much pain and tension as her relationship with Bruce, and I'd say she and Babs are actually pretty tight now. Steph's mom, though, wow, she deserves a lot more recognition. This woman survived her stupid husband, kicked an addiction, and worked long difficult hours to support the daughter who kept jumping out windows and getting into fights with criminals. It's unfortunate that the vast majority of fanfics that even bother to mention Crystal at all seem to ignore her recovery in favor of either removing her from the picture entirely (death by OD, or sending her off to rehab), or keeping her around to be angst-fodder -- both of these often intended to justify Steph viewing Bruce as a parental-figure instead. It's also unfortunate that Steph has all this history with the Birds of Prey, and yet is being very much left out of their book right now even though Cass -- who was still her roommate and partner, last we saw -- is being featured. Give Steph a team. She's pretty much the only Bat-adjacent who's never actually had the support and friendship of a team. :(

I respect everyone’s headcanons and all…but!! I really don’t like how Steph’s long line of female mentor figures have been ignored. It feels like in fanon there’s a much larger focus on Steph needing a “Dad” role in her life, usually filled by Bruce or, weirdly, the Riddler (more power to y’all but Steph has at most shown disdain for Eddie in-universe) - when she’s had plenty of teachers, mother figures, or just her plain actual MOTHER (more on her and why she matters here!) that have cared for her & guided her when all the male figures in her life were telling her she was too flighty and irresponsible.

Dinah Lance,

Robin 80-Page Giant

Barbara Gordon,

Batgirl (2009) #3

Selina Kyle,

Catwoman #34

Even Helena Bertinelli for a little bit.

Batman: Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma They were all really important and defining relationships. I wanna see headcanons about them. Fanfics. Discussions. But I swear, I feel like I hear next to nothing.

I wanna change that. And I want y’all to change that 🥺.

[goblin-jr]

And then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i love you. 

Part 9 of 12

Synopsis: lies, junk, and ebay side hustles

Pairing: unrequited JJ x Reader, Eventual Rafe x Reader

masterlist

—

The Twinkie’s engine hummed as they drove, the soft rumble steady in the quiet night. Y/N leaned against the window, watching as streetlights cast fleeting shadows across her face, leaving brief glints on her tired eyes. John B’s hands gripped the wheel, knuckles pale in the dim light as he guided them down familiar roads. 

This had been one of the longest - but one of the best nights of Y/N’s life. After the initial shock of finding out each other’s secret wore off, John B volunteered to drive Y/N home, much to Rafe’s dismay. 

They had both grown up on these roads, weaving through the same streets, crashing at each other’s houses, and finding trouble together. Now, things felt… different. As if, somehow, the ground they had always trusted beneath them was shifting. Their silence was comfortable but weighted, as if both of them were holding onto thoughts too heavy to put into words.

After a while, John B finally broke the silence, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye. “So… I guess we’re practically in-laws now.”

She let out a small laugh, though it sounded more like a sigh. “Guess so. Funny, isn’t it?”

John B smirked but grew thoughtful, his gaze fixed on the road ahead. “I mean, I get how I ended up with Sarah, but… you and Rafe? When did that even happen?”

She felt a slight warmth creep up her face. “Uh… tonight, actually.” She paused, swallowing. “We kissed for the first time. I think the word for it is ‘unexpected.’”

He shot her a sidelong glance, eyebrows raised. “You’re kidding me. Tonight?”

“Yeah. Tonight.” She gave a half-shrug, avoiding his gaze. “It's kind of… I don’t know, it just happened.”

John B let out a slow breath, shaking his head in disbelief. “You kissed Rafe Cameron tonight… wow.” He let that sink in, his fingers tapping a slow rhythm on the wheel. “Guess we’re both out here crossing some major lines.”

Y/N gave a slight nod, feeling the truth of that for herself, too. Sarah Cameron and Rafe Cameron—these were people they’d known their entire lives, kids who had grown up with a silver spoon and never seemed to notice the Pogues except to look down on them. And yet, here they were, tangled in the lives of the Kooks they’d once considered untouchable.

“How did that even happen?” she asked quietly, her gaze still on the passing trees.

John B rubbed a hand over his jaw, considering. “It’s… complicated. It was one of those things that just kinda… snuck up on me. I was working on Ward’s boat one day. He needed help with something in the engine room, and when I came up, Sarah was there. She was sitting by the dock, crying. She’d just broken up with Topper.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows, though she wasn’t entirely surprised. “Yeah, he’s… something, isn’t he?”

John B chuckled dryly. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it. Anyway, she looked… different. Vulnerable, I guess. Not like her usual ‘Kook princess’ self. We just started talking, and I don’t know… the lines got blurry. I wanted to hate her, but it’s hard to hate someone when you’re actually seeing them. You know what I mean?”

She did. She understood that completely.

“Yeah,” Y/N murmured, tracing her finger along the edge of the window. “Rafe… I never thought I’d be able to trust someone like him. I mean, it’s Rafe Cameron. But tonight, something just… clicked. And I realized I wanted to be around him. It’s strange, but being with him, even just for a night… it made me forget about a lot of things.”

“Like JJ?” John B’s voice was quiet, understanding. Y/N felt her heart constrict at the name, the weight of years of friendship and unspoken feelings pressing down on her all at once.

“Yeah,” she whispered, almost to herself. “I’ve been in love with him for so long. And it’s like... it’s been this constant thing in the back of my mind, like this background noise that I got used to. But tonight, with Rafe… it was like the noise stopped. For once, I wasn’t thinking about JJ. I was just... there, in the moment.”

John B let out a slow breath, nodding. “It’s kind of terrifying, isn’t it? Letting someone in like that. I know how much you cared about JJ. Honestly… I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you guys. I’ve known you my whole life. You and JJ are the only people who… get me. And now I’m dating Sarah, and you’re with Rafe… it’s almost like we’re betraying something.”

Y/N looked over at him, their eyes meeting for a long moment. “Yeah, it feels like that. It’s not just about us—it’s about all of us. Our whole group, the way we’ve always been there for each other. I keep thinking about what JJ would say if he knew.”

John B’s lips pressed into a thin line. “He’d be pissed, that’s for sure. Hurt, too. But… maybe he’d understand eventually.”

“I don’t know, John B. He’s stubborn. And this would feel like a double blow. We’re his oldest friends, and… he’d feel like we’ve crossed a line. Especially me, with Rafe of all people.” She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. “I can’t imagine losing JJ because of this.”

The silence fell again, heavy with memories and old loyalties. Finally, John B glanced over at her, his voice a little softer, a little more vulnerable. “Then let’s keep it between us. We don’t have to tell anyone. I mean… if things get serious or whatever, we’ll figure it out then. But for now… let’s just keep this between us. I’ve got your back if you’ve got mine.”

Y/N smiled, the weight lifting just slightly. “Deal.”

“Good,” he replied, a flicker of relief in his eyes. He offered her a small grin. “Guess we’ll be each other’s partners in crime, sneaking around with the Kooks. Never thought we’d end up here.”

She laughed softly, nodding. “Life has a weird way of throwing curveballs.”

As the Twinkie carried them back down the familiar roads, Y/N felt a sense of calm settle over her. They had their pact now, an unspoken agreement to protect each other and their secrets. 

—

The salty breeze tugged at Y/N’s hair as she made her way down the familiar path to The Chateau. It had been a week since she last saw the Pogues, and her absence hadn’t been unnoticed. She’d spent the days since the chaos at Tannyhill trying to process everything. The kiss with Rafe felt like a whirlwind, and now she had to face her friends, especially JJ, who she knew would be the hardest. Her stomach was in knots as she approached the hangout, trying to steady her nerves.

John B had said he’d smooth things over, but Y/N wasn’t so sure. Not when it came to JJ.

When she entered, the usual hum of conversation was absent. The Pogues were gathered around the table, but it felt… off. Pope and Kie were sitting together, but their smiles seemed forced as they looked up at her. The only one who wasn’t pretending was JJ, standing by the window, his back to the room, his arms crossed tightly over his chest. He didn’t even look her way as she stepped inside.

Y/N hesitated in the doorway, her gaze flicking between Kie, Pope, and John B, who was leaning casually against the counter. “Hey,” she said, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

Kie’s face lit up, though there was an obvious undercurrent of confusion. “Look who’s back! You good? Where’ve you been?”

Y/N winced at the warmth in Kie’s voice—so different from JJ’s cold silence. “Yeah, just needed some space,” she replied, not wanting to dive into details.

Pope nodded but didn’t press further. “Everyone’s been asking about you,” he said. “Glad to see you finally made it out.”

John B gave a small grin, trying to ease the awkwardness. “Yeah, we were starting to think you’d forgotten how to find us.”

Y/N gave him a small, forced laugh, but her eyes were drawn back to JJ, who still hadn’t turned around. The tension was palpable, and it felt like the air itself was thickening with each passing second.

She tried to take a step forward, but JJ’s voice cut through the room like a knife. “So, nice of you to join us,” he muttered, his tone sharp. “Thought maybe you’d decided we weren’t worth your time anymore.”

Y/N flinched. She hadn’t expected the bite in his words, not after everything they’d been through. She knew he was hurt, but hearing it from him like this felt like a slap.

JJ finally turned to face her, his face hard. “You know, I was worried sick after that voicemail,” he continued, his voice rising slightly. “You didn’t answer my texts, didn’t pick up the phone. What the hell, Y/N? You left me hanging.”

Y/N’s throat tightened. She hadn’t expected this level of anger, but hearing him say that struck a chord. She swallowed, trying to steady herself. “You could’ve picked up the phone the first time I called,” she shot back, her voice sharper than she intended. “This wouldn’t have happened if you had actually been there when I needed you.”

The words hung in the air between them, sharp and raw. JJ’s eyes widened, surprised by her retort, but there was no denying the hurt that flashed across his face. “Oh, so now it’s my fault?” he said, voice low and simmering. “You think it’s that simple?”

Y/N’s chest tightened. “No, I don’t think it’s simple,” she snapped back, her frustration mounting. “But I tried reaching out, JJ. You’ve been so caught up with everything else, and I—” She broke off, running a hand through her hair. “I needed space. That’s it. I wasn’t trying to make you feel like you didn’t matter.”

JJ shook his head, clearly struggling to contain his frustration. “You can’t just disappear like that without telling anyone what’s going on. I thought something happened to you. I was out of my mind, Y/N.”

She softened slightly at the vulnerability in his tone, but her anger still simmered. “I didn’t want to worry you,” she muttered, her voice quieter now. “I just needed time to figure things out.”

JJ exhaled sharply, clearly still hurt but now holding back, as if deciding whether to continue his outburst. Finally, he muttered, “Fine. Just… next time, don’t leave me in the dark. I don’t do well with that.”

Y/N nodded, her throat tight as she met his gaze. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel like I didn’t care. That’s the last thing I want.”

There was a long, heavy silence before JJ, with a frustrated sigh, finally gave a small, resigned shrug. “Alright, fine. Just don’t do that again, okay?”

John B, sensing the moment was still tense, stepped in with a lighthearted tone, trying to ease the mood. “Alright, enough of the drama. We’ve got a Pogue reunion here, right?” He glanced at Y/N with a small, reassuring smile. “Let’s just have a good night, yeah?”

Y/N gave him a tight smile, but her gaze lingered on JJ for a moment longer. There was still a distance between them, an unspoken tension that neither of them could ignore. But at least, for now, they were talking again. She only hoped the cracks in their friendship wouldn’t be too hard to fix.

—

A few days had passed since the tense moment with JJ, and things seemed to go back to normal, or at least, as normal as things could get in the Outer Banks. Y/N still spent most of her free time with Rafe, sneaking in moments together whenever they could. It felt like a secret they were both carefully tending, and despite the weight of keeping it under wraps, there was an unspoken comfort in it. She had no intention of telling the group just yet, but she wasn’t pretending things were the same with JJ either. There was distance now, but it was the kind of space that made it easier to breathe. And while Y/N still felt a little uncertain about what it meant for her friendship with the Pogues, she couldn’t help but feel lighter every time she was around them.

People noticed when she disappeared. Pope raised an eyebrow at her a couple of times, Kiara playfully asked if she was meeting some "mysterious boy," and JJ, though distant, was clearly still keeping an eye on her. But no one questioned it further. No one needed to know.

That afternoon, Y/N found herself back at the Chateau, where the gang had regrouped after a few days of avoiding serious conversations. The group was loud, as usual—Kiara pulling out an old map, Pope half-heartedly objecting to some of their more ridiculous ideas, and JJ getting a little too enthusiastic about a new "adventure" they could take. This time, it was JJ’s turn to suggest something chaotic.

“I’ve got it,” JJ said dramatically, eyes lighting up. “We go to the junkyard.”

Y/N shot him a raised eyebrow. “The junkyard? Really?”

“It’s perfect,” JJ continued, ignoring the questioning looks. “We could find treasure, make some plans for the summer, do something that actually makes us feel alive for once. Plus, there’s always weird stuff there—old cars, random bits of metal, who knows what we might find?”

Kiara perked up at the mention of treasure. “Could be a gold mine,” she added with a grin. “Or at least we can see if there’s any cool, rusty junk we can turn into art.”

Pope, who had been staring into the distance, suddenly broke into a mock frown. “The junkyard? Really? You guys are seriously trying to drag me into a place filled with piles of trash?”

JJ grinned, always ready to egg Pope on. “Come on, Pope. You can pretend to be the sophisticated one all you want, but deep down you know you want to get your hands dirty with the rest of us.”

Y/N laughed, leaning back on the couch. It was a sound she hadn’t realized she’d missed—her group, teasing and laughing with no tension. It felt like old times, before everything got complicated. Before she started feeling like she was on the outside of the group, watching as JJ and Kiara danced around each other and trying to figure out what her feelings for Rafe meant.

“I’m in,” Y/N said, sitting up and giving them a small grin. “Let’s go find some treasure.”

Pope, still grumbling, threw his hands up in defeat. “Fine. But I’m not getting stuck in any piles of scrap metal. I’m too smart for that.”

“Just remember that when I find something amazing, you’ll be the first to carry it for me,” JJ teased, already standing up and grabbing his jacket.

At that moment, John B, who had been lounging on the couch with a cup in hand, suddenly perked up. “Did someone say junkyard?” he asked, eyes wide with mock excitement. “That sounds like the kind of adventure I can get behind.”

Y/N shot him a grin. “You planning on driving us there, Captain?”

“Obviously.” John B tossed the cup aside, jumping to his feet. “The van’s ready. And if I’m driving, we’re making this a proper expedition. No half-assed treasure hunts on my watch.”

Kiara rolled her eyes but smiled at the enthusiasm. “Fine, fine. Let’s go then.”

The gang piled into the old, beat-up twinkie, heading off toward the junkyard. As they approached the site, the familiar scent of rust and oil filled the air. The place looked like something out of a post-apocalyptic movie, with broken-down cars, shattered glass, and twisted metal strewn across the dirt lot. The kind of place where nothing was useful, but everything had the potential for some kind of adventure.

“Alright,” JJ said, standing dramatically in front of the group, “let’s make this a scavenger hunt. First person to find the weirdest thing gets to claim the prize.”

“Prize?” Kiara asked, skeptically. “What, are we going to sell the trash we find?”

“Exactly,” JJ grinned. “Who says junk can’t be worth something?”

Pope rolled his eyes but couldn’t hold back a smirk. “This is ridiculous. But I’m game.”

Y/N watched John B, who was already surveying the junkyard with a mischievous grin. He had that familiar glint in his eyes—the same spark he always got when he was looking for trouble, and he wasn’t about to let JJ have all the fun. “Fine,” John B said, “but I’m getting the prize first.”

“You wish,” JJ shot back, already moving toward a stack of old tires. “I’m gonna find something epic.”

As they began to spread out, Y/N couldn’t help but feel lighter. She wasn’t thinking about JJ’s stupid pity kiss, or the constant tension that hung between them. She wasn’t worried about Rafe’s feelings either—he was the secret she didn’t have to explain, and she was content with that. For once, she was just part of the group again, her old self. The Pogue she used to be.

JJ sprinted toward an old car, shouting out, “I call dibs on this beauty!” and began rifling through the trunk, already making an absurd amount of noise. Kiara, Pope, and Y/N followed suit, though their finds were much more practical. Y/N pulled out a few rusted tools, giggling when Pope made a face at the mess she was digging through.

“You sure this is the best we’ve got?” Pope asked, his voice tinged with sarcasm but a hint of amusement.

“I don’t know,” Y/N said with a playful grin. “What’s your definition of treasure, Pope? Something shiny?”

“Exactly,” he said, half-smiling. “I’m all for finding treasure, but not garbage.”

“We’ll see about that,” Kiara called out from behind a pile of tires, already holding up a set of old neon lights she thought could be used for their next bonfire. “This could make a perfect addition to our party setup!”

Y/N watched as Kiara took charge of their little scavenger hunt, leading them through the junkyard with a sense of excitement that made the whole thing feel a little more like a real adventure. Pope was actually getting into it now, his competitive spirit taking over as he tried to beat JJ to whatever “treasure” he could find. JJ, of course, was already in his own world, imagining the junkyard as some sort of personal playground, where every broken thing was just a stepping stone to a bigger, better idea.

John B wandered off toward the far side of the yard, his eyes scanning the piles of junk for anything that might catch his eye. Y/N couldn’t help but smile at how natural it felt, watching the group fall into their old rhythm.

As they explored, laughing and tossing things aside, Y/N realized that it wasn’t just the junkyard that felt like home—it was this. It was being with these people. No matter how chaotic things got, no matter how much she didn’t know what she was doing with her own life, these were the people who always had her back

The sun blazes overhead as Y/N steps into the junkyard, eyes wide with excitement.

“This place is awesome!” Y/N exclaims, practically bouncing on her toes. “It’s like a treasure hunt, but better because it’s all free!”

Kiara chuckles beside her. “I mean, it’s not the best place for treasures, but yeah, you could find something cool.” She swats a crow feather out of her face. 

John B, already leading the way, turns back with a grin. “Follow me, I know where the good stuff is.”

Y/N follows, practically bouncing with curiosity. “Okay, okay. Let’s see what’s in there.”

Pope, trailing behind, lets out a dramatic sigh. “Good stuff? In a junkyard? This is like a museum... for garbage.”

Y/N laughs, waving at a pile of old scrap metal. “Hey, you’d be surprised. There’s probably something worth a lot here, Pope. You never know!”

They reach the shed, and John B immediately tries to open the door. He pulls, pushes, and gives it a shoulder check, but it’s locked.

“Uh, guys,” John B mutters, frowning. “It’s locked.”

“Duh,” Pope replies, unimpressed. “It’s a shed. Who’s surprised?”

John B shrugs. “Well, this shed’s too interesting to leave alone. JJ, grab the crowbar. We’re getting in.”

JJ jumps into action, grinning. “This is gonna be fun.”

Pope looks around nervously. “This is a terrible idea. We’re gonna get caught.”

“Relax,” John B says, already walking back to make room for JJ. “It's fine. We’ll just—”

JJ pulls out the crowbar and gives it a couple of solid swings against the shed’s door. The sound of metal against metal echoes across the junkyard. On the third swing, the door creaks open with a groan, revealing the dark interior.

“Here we go!” JJ says, his grin widening. He steps into the shed like he just found buried treasure.

Y/N steps forward, eyes lighting up. “Okay, okay. Let’s see what’s in here.”

But as the group floods into the dimly lit shed, their excitement quickly fades. The place is stacked with nothing but junk—old furniture, broken tools, and boxes of random stuff, nothing of any real value. The walls are lined with old tires, discarded appliances, and garbage bags.

“What the hell?” Y/N says, her voice deflating. “This is... this is just junk.”

“I told you,” Pope mutters under his breath, crossing his arms. “Who in their right mind would call this ‘good stuff’?”

John B shrugs, undeterred. “Hey, sometimes the best finds are hidden under a pile of garbage.”

JJ pulls a dusty old television out of a box and wipes it off. “Look, I found this! I mean, it’s not working, but who wouldn’t want a retro TV in their house, right?”

Pope raises an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah, because that’s totally what I want—vintage junk.”

And then, the door slams shut.

Y/N spins around, eyes wide. “Uh, guys? The door just closed.”

Kiara, who’s looking around the room with increasing unease, says, “No way. We’re locked in? Are you kidding me?”

John B goes to grab the handle, but it’s stuck. “Great. Of course, the door’s stuck now.”

JJ, still casually rummaging through junk, stops and looks up. “Wait, seriously? We’re locked in?”

“Yeah, JJ!” Y/N says, her voice rising with a mix of panic and amusement. “We’re locked in. Look at this place. There’s no way out.”

Pope starts pacing, his calm demeanor cracking. “This is not happening. We’re literally locked in a shed in a junkyard.”

Kiara looks around, her eyes darting from one junk pile to the next. “Well, at least it’s not a stranger’s shed. I guess we could just chill... but, uh... still... someone has to come looking for us, right?”

Y/N starts laughing, despite the situation. “I mean, yeah. Worst case, we just start a new life in the junkyard. It's practically our new home now.”

JJ throws his hands up. “Yeah! We’ll live off moldy pizza boxes and tire swings. Total dream life!”

John B glares at him, half-annoyed, half-amused. “Guys, seriously, quit joking. We need to get out of here.”

“Right,” Pope mutters, pulling at the door again. “Maybe if we just pull it...”

The group tries everything—pulling, kicking, even trying to knock the door down, but nothing works. After several attempts, the group begins to lose their energy, and the silence hangs heavy for a moment.

“Okay, so we’re stuck in here,” John B says, flopping down onto an old recliner, his voice nonchalant. “This is officially our new hangout spot, I guess.”

Kiara glares at him. “This isn’t funny.”

“No, really,” John B grins, raising an eyebrow. “You guys remember that one time we got stuck in that abandoned house during that storm? Remember how much fun we had?”

Y/N snorts. “Yeah, except that house was less junk-y and more... ghost house.”

“I mean, this place is just as fun, right?” JJ says, flopping down next to her, pulling a rusted license plate out of a box. “We got old stuff. We got... character.” He waves it around like it's some kind of trophy.

“Sure,” Pope grumbles, “if by ‘character’ you mean ‘how many ways can you die while inside a shed full of junk.’”

John B suddenly jumps up. “Wait, I’ve got it. We break out the windows!”

Kiara looks at him like he’s lost his mind. “John B, that’s not a good idea—”

But John B is already going for it. “Just trust me!”

After a few attempts, they finally manage to break the window, with John B leading the charge. The group spills out into the sunlight, everyone covered in dirt and laughing like it’s no big deal.

“Well, that was an adventure,” Y/N says, brushing off her hands with a grin. “I guess we can cross ‘getting locked in a shed’ off our bucket list.”

Kiara punches her lightly on the arm. “Yeah, not on my list, but sure, let's count it.”

Pope straightens up, shaking his head. “That was a mess. But at least it was... interesting.”

John B slings his arm around Y/N's shoulders, laughing. “Another Tuesday with the Pogues. Couldn’t get any better, right?”

—

A/N: Pogues back to business as usual. Don’t worry—Rafe’ll be back next time. Please drop a thought if anything stuck out to you, I love hearing what you all think!

–

Next time: secrets don’t stay hidden for long

—

Taglist: @hockeybabe87 , @idiotussupremus , @certifiedhaters , @oatmealisweird, @sluggmuffin , @maybankslover , @ren-ni, @wh0reforbucknasty , @enjoymyloves , @bilssturns , @dragonslight , @willowpains , @sidney-86

[forwards-beckon-rebound]

random jason todd hcs bc i said so!! pt 1??

ft. red hood, arkham knight, and robin jason

ak!jason is the type of guy who would workout in silence

would probably get tattoos if he could sit in one place for long enough. i don’t mean in a hyperactive way, more like a feeling like he can’t move does not sit well with homeboy

on that note probably hates sedatives or not being able to move freely aka bro will refuse surgery even on his death bed

like who gaf if he needs to get his tonsils removed yknow

ak!jason knows how to speak spanish because i cannot imagine him trying to start a militia without even being able to communicate with them

also bruce seems like the type of guy to force his kids to learn a lot of languages just in case it comes up

don't actually know if rh!jason would listen to mitski but if you made him read the lyrics he's going to be very quiet after that

would want to go to college or at least online classes at community college (remember this is the same guy who liked school, would probably be mad he never got to graduate high school what with the whole being dead thing)

also sorry something in my heart breaks at the idea of him being so proud of being the first person in his family to go to college

unfortunately i refuse to believe that rh!jason can’t cook

he hung out with alfred a lot, probably picked up a thing or two

also i think even if he didn’t know how to cook before dying, when he comes back he’ll pick it up eventually

not because he has a lot of free time as a crime lord, but because nobody else in the batfam can cook so he’d pick it up out of spite

also probably does not have social media, don’t think he would’ve had a phone growing up, was too busy being robin and i don’t think bruce would have exactly explained how instagram works to him

and then once he comes back, he’s busy, probably doesn’t even know what to post or who he personally knows who would follow him

maybe would get social media once he reconciles with the batfam and then opens it every once in a while to see what everybody’s up to

i feel like he would like reddit though. not in like the reddit mod type of way but like he just likes the drama on r/amitheasshole and r/relationshipadvice

imagine jason posting “aita for attempting to blow up my dad’s car for not avenging my death”

robin!jason is the type of kid who does not respect his elders at all and will bully them

but it hurts the most because you know he’s telling the truth and sometimes he’s not even trying to be mean

“why do you have no hair? are you balding?”

“wow you eat so much. no wonder you’re fat.”

also probably asks if you have games on your phone and will judge you

but also sweet and offer to help you do chores

i would charge $20 to babysit him because he’d be cute but also i would have therapy bills to pay

but at least he’s not picky with food and we can talk about books or something

[ufojones]

mecha pilot jazz in the chest (not the head) is also the funniest options for other reasons! imagine the cross-cultural confusion. Like say Jazz meets Optimus and the gang and OP gives some big speech and is like "what matters most is what's in here" while patting his chest, and all the Bots are like "wow that's so deep, it's what's in the spark that matters" and meanwhile Jazz is just nodding along like "yeah, the pilot, duh!" Or Jazz deciding to hop out of his mecha to stretch his legs, so his chest pops open in front of Prowl who *gay panics* because why is this guy baring his spark in front of him, he didn't think their relationship was that serious yet!!! --but then instead a...smaller version of Jazz crawls out of his own chest (because I'm assuming the spacesuit doesn't look super organic at first glance) and then Prowl is like....uhh was this guy pregnant? how do babby happen?? is Jazz secretly a cassette host???? and honestly Jazz getting mistaken for being a cassette of his mecha would be a totally hilarious and believable outcome. I mean, personality wise he overlaps with Blaster pretty well, so the Bots are like 'oh no wonder the weird new guy likes music so much, he's a tape deck! that must be why he's Like That, too, all the cassette carriers are a bit weird.' Though Bots think it's odd that the mini mech also goes by 'Jazz' and meanwhile Jazz is confused why they all keep calling him 'Jazz Junior' when he's kicking it offline? (Meanwhile Ultra Magnus is squinting very suspiciously at the entire situation, because assuming you go with the IDW flavor, that Jazz-within-a-Jazz set-up looks awfully like his own secret load-bearer situation with his inner Minimus Ambus. So Magnus is trying to subtly figure out if Jazz is the same as him. But meanwhile Jazz is confused about this weird Magnus dude who keeps dropping all these hints and comes to the conclusion that Magnus is trying to tell him that he's *also* a human piloting a mecha?? Assuming he's figured out by then that the rest of the Bots aren't piloted. So they both think they share a secret, but it's two different secrets lmao.) Or maybe then Jazz takes off his spacesuit and is suddenly revealed to be organic and now instead all the Bots are panicking that their new buddy has some sort of parasite lmao. like if a transformer chest opens and an organic crawls out, their first thought wouldn't be 'pilot' it would be 'tapeworm', let's be real. Or if you want to get darker with it--maybe they *do* think 'pilot', but in the same way they would think it if a quintesson crawled out of a mech. As in, Jazz the mech was enslaved. And suddenly all these giant robots are trying to eradicate Jazz the human to protect their friend Jazz the mecha, who has seemingly been left unresponsive by this unidentified new organic enslavement threat. (Because a *new* organic species suddenly turning up that appears to be successfully enslaving mechs would be terrifying. Like it's probably a huge trope in their horror movies, right up there with sparkeaters.) Luckily for Jazz, his new buddy Prowl is a pretty intelligent guy, maybe he's smart enough to put the pieces together before his weirdo maybe-boyfriend's organic core gets squished? Also, if you go with the 'organic parasite horror trope' implications, that means when Prowl and Jazz are together after whatever reveal, Prowl is literally living out their version of the supernatural romance genre. He's the normal guy dating the scary creature from horror stories! Prowl is the Bella Swan in this AU, is what I'm trying to get at, lmao.

Question, is jazz controlling his mech from the chest or is he like, located in the head? Chest would make sense I think if you compare it to gundam and such but head is sorta like a brain replacement? Plus there is the huge visor he could potentially look through?

I think it needs to be chest because. Hear me out

Normal reason - the thickest armor - the best possible protection for pilot

My honest reason - JUST IMAGINE how freaky it would be for Prowl to see Jazz get FUCKING DECAPITATED and keep fighting after it. Just imagine

[kj-yikes]

Do you personally like Andrea Rojas as a character?

I honestly wasn't a huge fan at first, but I think with some rewatches, I've changed my tune.

On my first watch of S5 when she's first introduced, I think I kinda brushed her off. She was fine but not the most compelling to me. She seemed written as kind of a means to add depth to the Kara/Lena rift (Lena needed to get away from CatCo, Lena needed more backstory for why betrayal hurts her so much, the weird way they wove in Lena's magic and how she needed the medallion to stop Lex) and Andrea really shakes things up at CatCo, so I was kind of annoyed about her at first. And then Crisis happened and honestly I fucking hate Crisis because I feel like they handled it so poorly on Supergirl (idk how it was for other arrowverse shows) and she just kind of seemed confusing post-Crisis, so I didn't really give her much attention.

But now that I've watched Supergirl, like, so many times, she's grown on me and I get a little upset about how they introduced her as a character just to totally underwrite all her character development with crisis. Andrea is actually a really tragic character, to me. Here are some moments that really shine for me pre-crisis, and I wish we had gotten a little more depth especially post-crisis:

(putting under the cut because wow, maybe I need to read/write some Andrea fics? I clearly have a lot of Thoughts?)

I do like her backstory with Russell and it adds to her character. Their meet-cute is adorable. And she's definitely a "you jump, I jump" kind of gal even with Russell. "Don't kill Russell, he's useful to you." Andrea is super smart and strategic. We don't get a "please don't kill him, I love him, what you're doing is wrong," change your mind/inspire hope kind of speech like we'd get from Kara. Andrea doesn't know a lot about Leviathan, but she knows enough to realize that showing that Russell could be useful is a better tactic to saving him than begging for his life. And it kind of works, sort of. He's alive.

Andrea fiercely loves. Lena asks her to drop everything and go pretend to be explorers to find some medallion that may or may not exist, during a very tumultuous time in Andrea's life, and Andrea does it. She accepts some mysterious bargain for her father's life, then kills when she has to to continue protecting her father. She reasons with Leviathan for Russell's life. Truly, she will do anything for those she loves.

But that's where the tragedy happens. She loves Lena. She loves Russell. But when she has to choose, she chooses her father first, and it destroys her other relationships eventually. (And the fact that her post-Crisis, Earth Prime father blames her when Obsidian tanks is heartbreaking, but I guess we'll get there.) She says it's the biggest mistake of her life, that she never wanted to betray Lena, that the medallion is a burden. I honestly want to know why the medallion unlocked her powers. What does that mean? I have so many questions.

Andrea pre-crisis is a pretty sympathetic character too. She doesn't kill because she's evil. She does it to protect the people she loves. Yeah, it's for evil Leviathan, but honestly I think that's what makes Eve a sympathetic character to me too. Getting blackmailed to do evil things because you love someone? That's some interesting shit, and I do think we kind of get some payoff on this post-crisis.

The scene where Andrea asks for Lena's help to break into the DEO is delicious to me. Andrea just wants to fix her mistakes. She wants to do good, too. ("Honey, when I look at you all I can feel is pain." Why can't queer people have normal breakups??) Lena says she's tired of people hurting each other. She reluctantly agrees to help Andrea (which is, in a way, betraying Kara for Andrea) and then turns around and betrays Andrea (she seems to be all bark and no bite though. "Russell, put down the scalpel" LOL Katie's delivery is so good there). Lena's hurt (she just wants to be someone's #1 for once) and she lashes out like she normally does. It's so deliciously messy and heartbreaking and makes for a good story. There's no doubt that all three characters (including Kara in this, because it's hard to talk about the theme of betrayal without her) are motivated by love, and they all choose to handle it in such different ways.

Idk. I could go on. They really packed quite a bit into the 7? 8? episodes before crisis and I think it pays off pretty well. And then crisis happens, and Earth Prime Andrea is there and....??? They let us lean on knowing Andrea's character pre-crisis but do nothing to distinguish her or tell us what her Earth Prime backstory and motivations are (this just seems to be the common theme with crisis. Like, how does Kelly react to crisis? I think she gets her memories back, but like, she doesn't even know Kara is Supergirl at this point, so??? Anyway this is about Andrea not Kelly).

They get rid of the Russell backstory completely (? I think?). She still has the medallion, so I guess she betrayed Lena, but Lena seems over it because Andrea is useful, so they don't even really get a good reconciliation since Lena brushes it off (not that they ended pre-crisis on good footing, but at least everything was out in the open?).

The only real scene I think has some substance is when Andrea is tasked with killing Supergirl, but even then, I feel like this scene does much more to show Lena's character arc than Andrea's given that we're given practically nothing about Earth Prime Andrea. If you think of it in light of where we know Earth-38 Andrea ended up, it's kind of beautiful to watch Andrea make the choice to be the person she really wants to be (@fazedlight has a really great post about this).

I also think the scene where Kelly finds Andrea crying after the Obsidian debacle to be quite poignant, but only through the lens of knowing Earth-38 Andrea. Earth-38 Andrea sacrificed everything for her father, and her Earth Prime father is so quick to push her under the bus.

I'm getting things a little out of order in my head and I don't have time to go watch, but I think after that, Andrea chooses to kind of rescue herself, make sure she's set up when everything falls apart. I think this is an interesting choice for her. I love that she's choosing herself for the first time, and not doing something self-sacrificial for someone else. But it's still pretty morally gray of her to break into her father's account to buy up her shares of Obsidian. And then, later, she tries reconnecting with Lena for what seems to be the sole purpose of getting a scoop, which Lena doesn't appreciate.

Are those examples of Andrea being who she wants to be? It could go two ways: one, yes, this is her being who she wants to be, and that person is someone who's gonna do anything to get to where she wants to go. I could see it, but it's kind of a sad way for Andrea, who loved so fiercely in Earth-38, to end up as a character. Two, it could be that choosing to do good is hard, and sometimes we slip up. If that were the case, I wish we had gotten more from her as a character at the end of S5 and into S6. Lena and Andrea do somewhat reconcile I think (I’m not quite remembering exactly how, but I remember they’re friendly by the time Lena goes to Newfoundland), but we don't get a lot of them after that.

SO. Do I like Andrea as a character?

Yes? Earth-38 Andrea is certainly an interesting and tragic character. Earth Prime Andrea? Eh. Earth-38 Andrea was kind of set up to be an interesting comparison to Lena and Kara’s falling out and then they were like, well I guess she’s on Earth Prime but we don’t really care to redevelop her backstory. It’s a shame, because I think they could’ve done so much more, especially with her relationship with Lena.

[bingqiuhateabortion]

I think the main reason people confuse narrator's voice with xie lian's inner monologues is because of how subjective it is (sometimes even more subjective than xl) and more than that xie lian thinking that would be logical course of action. But mxtx is just like that.

1) the scene where xie lian scolds mu qing for calling xiao ying ugly follows with something along the lines of "she really was ugly, though. Her face so flat as if it was hit with a shovel" and not only does it sound a bit too subjective for narrator's description, xie lian thinking that would be logical course of action. Like he shut mq up but then looked closer and thought "wow that's true actually". That didn't happen though because xl's thoughts were replaced with narrator's speech. Also if xl didn't think that (imo he should've formed some kind of opinion on her looks and it probably wasn't flattering because xl usually does rate people's looks. You know that.) that description would serve only the purpose of justifying mq being a bitch which i think is funny...

2) the time XL confuses yin yu with blackwater's disguise because he looks bland it immediately follows up with that iconic "7/10" rating from the narrator. Again it would be really logical for xl to try and justify his fake assumptions again and "7/10" is much more subjective than what xie lian actually thought and said.

So i think i can't be as mad as these righteous as fuck people on twitter saying that xl has never been mean to people's looks ever because first of all that's not true and second i get it. While narrator's voice and xl's inner monologue have distinctly different tones with narrator's voice being the usual mxtx's dark humor, it sometimes does seem just more logical for xl to think that than to have a random remark from the author.

[divineerdrick]

Homestuck: Beyond Canon Upd8 for November 11, 2024

*flops*

Don't mind me.

Just gonna lie here while I do the Homestuck liveblog thing.

I am going to give a heads up. If my next migraine treatment brings me a bit more back in line, I'll be doing VLogs again. I have a bigger video project planned, but it's not Homestuck related. I'll be posting the updates here though, so you'll still know when I blog an upd8. Then you'll all get to see my haggard and aged face.

We begin with the monthly news upd8 from James. Except no! It is in fact an upd8 from Miles! James fades into the background, and apparently Miles will be our flattering correspondent from now on.

It looks like Miles is putting potential spoilers in the news post, so I might have to be careful in the future. Of course these might be jokes. We'll have to see.

Work continues on the planned [S] page and more Beyond Canon merch. We won't be getting an upd8 for December, but they will be running the Patreon. The next upd8 looks like it might be as late as February.

That's all unfortunate. But I fully support if the team wants to take a well earned holiday.

Upd8

Tavvy has decided to join Yiffy on an adventure. This can't possibly end well. His attempts at being her lackey have so far landed him mostly in trouble. And there's a heap of trouble brewing on the soon to be battlefield.

Yeah that's not happening.

Heh! Harry brought the trail mix.

Oh wow. And oh no!

OH NO!!!

That can't possibly count as Heroic though. Getting sniped while performing a purely tactical role is not a hero's end. Still, Rose is probably glad the kids aren't seeing that.

And button.

Interesting view to cut to.

Again, I don't think this will count as Heroic for anyone. But a lot of people are about to die. And let's not forget, none of the trolls currently outside for the Plot Point are God Tiers. This is bad. This is really bad. This is the kind of moment that calls for an extreme, deus ex machina, like the Plot Point has the potential for.

But we're not getting to see it yet.

Edit: @vriedi reminded me that Meenah is a God Tier. Though this does make me wonder, what happens when a dead God Tier dies?

Orange curtains.

Okay! Legitimately fantastic Psyche Out. They actually got me pretty good there.

Okay, we have a new troll it I think.

gavageCunctation is messaging Vrissy. Though that doesn't necessarily tell us much, except that a new player may have entered the drama.

And they're "negging" Vrissy. So this troll clearly sees themselves as a "player" too.

We've got a "game" that's about to be played. A game being run by a TC. Now Gamzee is dead, but that doesn't mean he didn't setup something before Vriska killed him. Still, it's likely these are two completely new troll kids.

We've got a new AA too. So we might be seeing more troll descendants. After all, they used cloning to kick things off. This troll is typing in purple, but blood typing may not be universal anymore. I do find it interesting that we're continuing the nucleotide pairs though. They could have gone for a different motif. Maybe they're trying to symbolize that these are potential paradox clones for a new session?

AA is apparently our chronic auspistice for this group. And potentially our Seer, though we've had fake-outs on that before.

And our actual cliffhanger ending is this new GC's computer exploding.

So yeah. Something has to happen for a lot of our beloved characters to not bite it. I'm also curious how Rose's vision of future events can come true if Jane has unleashed her weapon. But I mentioned last time that Rose is playing a dangerous game here. I don't think any of our God Tiers are in trouble, and I'm pretty sure the Plot Point is fine.

I'm wondering if this is how Calliope ends up sacrificing themself, if Rose was even correct there. Either way, this a dark ending for the year on a community that's already seen some dark endings.

*Returns to flop*

[lumdays]

chat is this real!!!

relationship charts + fun facts utc!! (sorry it's a lot of yapping)

- siyun and malleus met the same way novel!yuu (yuuya) and malleus met except siyun didn't take too kindly to him using magic on them. they had beef for a while and it settled into Respect, Sorta

(translation by @/yuurei20)

- siyun is the janitor (refused nrc studentship from crowley) so they've met a few of the students before their ingame appearances (jamil, ruggie and. jade)

- almost killed grim the first time they met

- leona often just grabs their ankle when they're passing by his spot in the botanical garden. he either makes them fall or uses them as a pillow, depending on his mood and the clothes they're wearing (if it's their regular nrc uniform then it's eep time, if it's the janitor uniform he's making them fall on their ass)

- it's not that vil isn't ambitious, it's just that siyun isn't all that interesting of an investment in the first place. so when his first few attemps didn't work, he gave up on them. they're not enough of an eyesore for him to fix anyway (also their reception to his ministrations were pretty hostile, epel bias)

- the first time epel and siyun ever met, they stood up to vil for him and all he felt was. Shame. wow, the magicless janitor is stronger, braver than him. he's. so. thankful (it's ok they magishift it out🔥🔥🔥)

- the light magic thing is uhhhh Lore Stuff, siyun has a strange connection to blot and that same connection makes them recoil at light magic (not the users themselves. Usually)

- THE ROOK AND SIYUN (onesided)BEEF!!!!! rook spreading l'amour et la beauté and forcefeeding them cheese (someone said rook is like aoyama's cousin and that's wonderful to me) meanwhile siyun is devising a hundred and seven evil plans to take him down. he chases them down as much as he does beastmen and siyun has taken to returning the energy by throwing increasingly sharp objects in his general direction (they miss by a mile cause their aim sucks ASSSSSS also their eyesight is shit but they have Bigger Problems rn)

more seriously though, rook's compliments and flattery may Mostly be in good faith but he makes siyun feel. Less Than Human (more so than they already aren't)

- if you couldn't tell, i have a huge freshmen/yun found family bias and they are Everything to me. they all think siyun's crush on jade is absolutely nuts (ortho is maybe a Little less unconvinced but he joins in with the others cause it's fun! yun gets it).

after a while, they start getting mad at other students who litter or trash the school cause it means more work for their fuckass janitor🔥🔥🔥(personally i think jack + maybe deuce are already the kind of people to pick up after other people's trash when they see it LIKE NOT ALL THE TIME, THEY’RE NOT SAINTS BUT. yea. meanwhile sebek is ABSOLUTELY the typa guy to YELL at people who litter)

- jamil and siyun were pretty good friends before shit went down in book 4, at least in siyun's perspective. it's not obvious on the chart but it actually took them a shit ton of time to actually make up and be friends again (for real this time!)

- the nrc staff and siyun all agree that crowley is public enemy number 1 (some more playfully than others read, siyun hae) but yea they all got SOMETHING against him. in siyun's case, he used a similar kind of magic as malleus first thing when they got out of the coffin and it got them tweaking really bad because they're kindaaaaaaa allergic to magic (should’ve mentioned this earlier but i forgor

- yunde time! (🤮🤮🤮🤮) siyun fell first and they fell HARD, 0 shame about shouting their love from the top of all the nrc towers or at jade himself, they 🔥dgaf, to say the least. at first, jade honest to god couldn't care less about their silly crush on him, though he did find it funny so he entertained them and ended up catching feelings by book 7 because he's a DUMBASS but by then siyun is like "i give up looking for white girl 🙂‍↕️✋️ it is not my fate" so jade is yearning + pining TOO FUCKING LATE

anyway, silly fun fact about them cause i feel like it, siyun was in jade's dream in book 7 but they basically looked like floyd

oh and

- floyd calls siyun “grouper fishie/grouper” because

yeaaaaaaaaaa…also he thinks siyun’s crush on jade is funny as shit until jade reciprocates

taglist (tell me if you wanna be added or removed🔥🔥):

@twistedwonderlandshenanigans @distant-velleity @sickle-stick @elenauaurs @heyhellohihowareyou @skriblee-ksk @angelwishess

[whumpy-wyrms]

cannot stop thinking about how whumpy it must’ve been when i was given the anesthesia and passed out earlier. like even before the laughing gas i was SHAKING and TREMBLING in fear i fucking HATE needles. but i was also smiling the whole time because my fear response isn’t fight flight fawn or freeze it’s just. to laugh. for some reason. anyway after i got the laughing gas i was smiling and giggling even more and also shaking a lot more in both fear of what was gonna happen and also probably the laughing gas. they told me to take deep breaths which i did, still freaking out though. i started panicking even more when they put the IV in my arm, like wow that was horrifying i must’ve looked sooooo scared wooow.. so much fear.. (whumpers you know where to find me). anyway i eventually followed their advice and took deep breaths, knowing that it would make the laughing gas effect me quicker, but i did it anyway because its all i could do.

(more under the cut because i couldn’t shut up and this got long)

and guys. guys. THEN. then i started thinking about Anton and imagining i was his test subject and he was just doing an experiment on me and let me tell you. the way pure CALMNESS just WASHED over my entire body. like before i walked into the room i was like “anton save mee save me anton haha lol”. and then anton DID save me. in a way. but yeah i mean i KNEW that would happen because thinking about anton literally always calms me down anyway but i just thought that was funny lmao. woow

okay so then they injected me with the anesthesia. i don’t think i really felt it. then they put a rubber thing in my mouth to keep it wide open, and i was just thinking “haha wow they gagged me that’s gotta be one of my favorite whump tropes.” i just stared straight ahead (i couldn’t really turn my head anyway with the way the chair was set up), struggling hard to keep my eyes open, breathing really deeply, barely able to form a coherent thought.

i do NOT remember falling asleep. like one moment i was sitting there eyes wide and breathing heavily, staring at the doctors on either side of me, and the next i was like all woozy flopping around in the chair, head lolling to the side as the doctors were telling me to wake up. it was sort of a blur, i had NO idea what was going on at ALL. i remember slurring as i talked, telling the doctors i wanted to keep my wisdom teeth. they laughed and asked why and i just kept repeating that i wanted them to let me keep them (they did let me keep them! i’m gonna put them in a little jar like a mad scientist). then i kept asking for my phone and they gave it to me. they put me in a wheelchair to take me to the car because i could NOT walk, i was stumbling around, completely unable to stand or sit up straight, and when we got to the car i just flopped into the passenger seat like i was DIZZY. and i was also a bit nauseous. blood in my mouth and all that. oh i also had gauze in my mouth which definitely made talking a lot more difficult

so i really barely talked, i don’t think i said much else which i’m kinda happy for because i was high as FUCK and did not wanna ramble about a bunch of weird oc lore to my mom. i KNOW i would’ve talked about anton and/or silas nonstop. but i just went on my phone instead which is when i made all those posts from earlier LOL. those typos were genuinely not on purpose at all. i could not type. i’m being fully serious.

here’s a screenshot from my discord server of me attempting to type “holy shit i can’t type.” and as you can see, it was, well, TRUE

anyway yeah i just curled up in my seat on the car ride home, i wasn’t on my phone much because i was still really tired and it was hard to keep my eyes open and stay awake. the car seat was leaned back really far so i was laying down and could not see out of the car windows (but my eyes were closed so it didn’t really matter). but i just remember feeling every turn of the car and trying to guess where we were driving as if i was a whumpee who’d just been kidnapped and was trying to memorize the directions. as you can tell i knew this situation would be whumpy as fuck and didn’t hesitate to make a bunch of silly connections.

so then we got home and there’s not much else that happened. i just took a lot of pills and washed out my mouth and put more gauze in and then went to sleep. it didn’t hurt that much at all because of. the drugs and stuff. i slept for a long time and woke up feeling back to normal, in the way i wasn’t high af anymore. yeah so now my mouth kinda hurts but i have painkillers so it’s fine. i ate lasagna like 20 minutes ago. i’m probably not supposed to eat lasagna. i did it anyway (i took very very teeny tiny nibbles it was very basil core).

anyway that’s it i think! dunno why i wanted to share this whole experience but i thought it was kinda funny the way i kept finding whump in everything hahaha (like i said, my actual fear response is literally to LAUGH and GIGGLE at everything in fear. this needs to be used more in this community imo. and i think… i have a new oc for that actually…. teehee….. ominous.. very ominous dot dot dots…..)

but really this isn’t as bad as i thought it’d be. it’s gonna suck to eat a bunch of soft food and stuff but overall it’s not bad. at least for me. obviously this was only my experience and everyone’s will be different. i do kinda see the humor in everything whenever i’m in a bad or painful situation so that might also be why this is easier for me, idk! hope u all found this at least a little entertaining because i know i did haha

[ryuucae]

Entry for a Lucina zine from last year; I'm still quite fond of the composition!

If interested in leftover sales, please take a look at the project account here ^^

[crows-of-buckets]

Rook: I'm really worried about Davrin and Lucanis, they keep arguing with one another... Its very bad Varric, what if it effects them in battle?

Varric, remembering that one time Fenris broke Ander's nose then took a knife in the back for him in the same night: I'm sure they'll be fine kid. They're barely even arguing if you ask me

[bizarrelittlemew]

i was hoping to make a post like this under happier circumstances, but here goes.

as some of you know, everything with the cancellation and renewal campaign has happened right on top of the worst part of my mom's cancer treatment (plus the show was cancelled on my actual birthday 💀). i won't go into details, but it's been tough. lots of ups and downs, mostly downs, luckily ending (for now) on as much of an up as circumstances allow. the whole thing has been weirdly tied to the cancellation for me, kind of amplifying every feeling. the grief got mixed up, and there was so much of it - mourning the loss of the kind of future i thought i'd have with my mother and the time we might not get, mourning the end of a show that means so much to me and is such a big part of my life. different types of grief, sure, and of different magnitudes, but in one big ugly swirl. i sort of had a breakdown right at the start of february, and it was because of news about my mom, but it morphed into my brain telling me everything i'd ever written was shit and wanting to delete it all. stuff like that, spilling over.

anyway. i was holding off on writing this post to see if the show got picked up by someone else. but i still want to say it. because what also spilled over was the support and community from this fandom, and being in this space (despite the rough times and high emotions) helped me through it, because of all of you here. whether we talk regularly, or you left a comforting reply or simply a like on one of my posts about having a hard time (i tried to keep them few), or wrote a nice comment on a fic, or said something funny or nice or insightful in the tags of a gifset, or was active here (or on twt) in any way, talking/sharing/creating stuff about the show - THANK YOU.

you all helped me through all the ups and downs, and i am so grateful. thank you for being here, listening, distracting, helping me feel some joy despite the horrors. i love you and i love this incredible show and all it has brought and will continue to bring and inspire, and although it should go without saying, i'm not going anywhere. just do me a favor and give yourself a big ol' hug from me, and know that you made a difference for some random guy on the internet (but in reality for many more, and for this fandom as a whole, just by being here and being you) 💕

[drewsbuzzcut]

First of all! I am giving my thoughts so backwards rn bc I started with part 4😭 oopsie

Anyways… David being so excited about christmas is so heartwarming! I loved that he was so ready to suit up in Christmas pjs and spend it with those he considers family

Wow Mack is so complex, but I mean it in a good way. It’s genuinely what makes her so relatable and one of my favorites. I love how she got scared about what it’d mean for her relationship with David if he got traded. I loved that she still asked Lucie some questions about the trade ordeal, because I just know Mack would rather let those rumors and thoughts stew in her head until she explodes. Or just throw herself into her work and avoid the elephant.

I love how even though she clearly loves David so much, she still finds some way to deflect it.

Bones - Part 3 [Mack x David]

A/N: Christmas with the Hischier’s sounds like heaven to me. Add in David Carlson and 🤯. I am in love with how different these two grew up and how deep their connection is now as adults. Like the dynamic between growing up a farmer’s son and an international hockey star’s daughter is so soft here. As for the second part, oh Mackie…. 🫠😬

Word Count: 4.5k

“David?” Mack’s whisper streaks through his quiet bedroom.

“Mmm?” He asks from where his head is stuffed deep into his pillow.

“Wake up! It’s Christmas!” She bites her lip, waiting for him to stir. He doesn’t. He stays silently still on the other side of the bed. Mack is about to whisper again when he suddenly launches up, sucking her into his arms and rolling so she is pinned under him. “AH!” She yells then bursts into giggles as he starts to tickling her sides. “No, no, no! Stop I can’t breathe!” She finally wheezes. He relents, then rolls off of her, laughing at her gasps for breath.

“Do you think Santa came?”

“I bet Santa came upstairs…”

“Can we go?”

“Yeah Lucie texted.”

“Yes!!!!!!” David flies out of bed, rushing to his closet to grab clothes to put on. Mack is already ready to go in their matching Christmas pajamas. David had to take his off because he got too hot last night. He comes out of the closet in them, adorned in leaping reindeer, hands on his hips in a super hero pose.

“Dreamy…” Mack murmurs, lips pursed as she takes him in. Her man is soft and sweet and good. So perfectly good. He walks over to the bed. Mack stands, letting him gather her into his arms and carry her to the kitchen. 

“Coffee, yeah?” 

“Mhm.”

“What creamer do you want?” He asks, peaking into the fridge. “How is there four now?”

“I wanted to try them all! They’re all different…” She sticks her tongue out at him. “And I want the peppermint one.”

“Okay, princess.” He mumbles. Mack kicks at his butt as he walks by.

“Be nice. It’s Christmas.” 

“I am plenty nice.” David insists. “So nice you just sit there and look pretty, princess, while I make your coffee.” He grabs her favorite mug of his from the dishwasher before going back to the espresso machine and starting it. “So…” David says as they watch the espresso drip into the small, glass cup. “Don’t the Swiss usually celebrate Christmas on the 24th?” Mack brightens.

“Oh! Yes! Did you read that?” 

“Mhm.” He murmurs.

“You could have asked me.”

“I wanted to look like I know what I’m talking about.” He chuckles. “And you decorate the Christmas tree on Christmas Eve?”

“We never did that. It was always up after American Thanksgiving.” 

“Your mom?”

“Yes, we did a lot of American traditions after moving to Switzerland because mom was homesick. Lucie too.” Mack shrugs. “I didn’t care as long as Santa still came. He started coming twice when we moved.”

“Oh is that what December 6th is?”

“Yes- it’s Samichlaus Abend! Translates to Santa Night. But yes he comes on the 6th back home. So we would get presents on the 6th- usually a lot of chocolate. Maybe special cookies or dessert too. But then on Christmas, American Santa came and that was like toys and clothes and things like that.” 

“Best of both worlds.”

“Yeah, I think my parents did a great job blending our customs together. We grew up truly Swiss- American.”

“You consider yourself more European though?”

“More of my formative years were there.” Mack shrugs. “It’s not like I mind living here now, though, or I don’t consider myself American at all. But they’re two different parts of me.” Mack watches him pour her coffee together, then he hands her the cup. She savors her first sip, watching him walk across the kitchen to make a pot of coffee now for himself. “You make me feel very Swiss though.” He looks over his shoulder at her with a questioning look. “Like, you are very American. You grew up in the Heartland. You’re a farmer, a hockey player, and you blend in both in the city and the country. I feel like I stick out even in New York sometimes.” 

“The best thing about here, babe, is that it’s a melting pot of different cultures, places, and customs. I think the fact that you have so much to you makes you an American.” He shrugs his shoulders.

“You might be the minority with that thought.”

“I don’t really care.” He chuckles, rubbing a hand over his hair. “You’re my girl. That’s all I care about.” He grabs a cup for him out of the cabinet to his left. “But I will take some Swiss chocolate from uh… Swiss Santa.” Mack starts to laugh. “I’m not even gonna try to say it.”

“I can teach you Swiss German if you want.”

“Honey, I’m a lost cause on English.” Mack chuckles.

“I’m fine if you don’t want to learn it. Just means I can talk shit about you to your face.”

“No, you can’t. Your face and tone would give you away.” He slaps her ass as she hops down from the counter. “Plus, you like to fight so you’d want me to understand.” He cages her into the counter with his big arms and body. 

“No fighting on Christmas.” She murmurs in Swiss German. David’s eyes look sideways, then back to her suspiciously.

“I know this one. It roughly translates to kiss me?” Mack tilts her head back and laughs loudly.

“Yes. Please, American Santa.” She mumbles, tossing her arms around his shoulders. She pulls him down to her and they make out until the coffee maker finishes David’s Folgers.

With coffees in hand, they head upstairs to the Wood apartment. Stella opens the door with an exaggerated whine.

“What took you so long!?” She snaps.

“I bet I know.” Connor chuckles from where he is laying on the couch. 

“Coffee.” David cheers his cup at his defense partner. 

“We have coffee here?” Lucie questions.

“He doesn’t like it.”

“There is something wrong with you.”

“Too American.” Mack smirks at David.

“Hello!!!! Can I open my presents yet?” Stella asks.

“Can you ask nicely yet?” Connor asks, popping up from the couch and rolling his eyes at his wife in regards to their daughter.

“I don’t know why you’re looking at me like that.” Lucie chuckles.

“Everyone here seems to know except you.” Mack laughs. “2.0.” Lucie sticks her tongue out at Mack.

“Come over her and stuff a caramel roll in your mouth so you’re quiet.” Lucie holds a plate out to Mack.

“Oh, are these mom’s?”

“Yeah. Hey Stell, go pick out what present you want to open first.” Lucie attempts to calm down the little feet stomps across the room.

“Okay!” She screeches. 

“Wait, can I help?” David asks her. Stella runs back, grabbing his hand and pulling the big hockey player into the living room.

“This one!” She points to the biggest.

“Are you sure? What is our decision process here?”

“Cause it’s the biggest.”

“But don’t you want to save the best for last?”

“No.” Stella snorts, like a child who has no semblance of patience. 

Mack bites into her caramel roll and is instantly pulled back in time to being a kid. She can clearly see herself sitting on a couch in a city to the West, folded into her dad’s lap as Lucie rips open her presents. All Mack wanted to do was sit with her dad. Every so often he would give her a slight squeeze, or a kiss on the cheek, or hold his palm out for her little fingers to hold. Here in her sister’s apartment, she now watches David. He is patient and kind with Stella. He doesn’t scold her for raising her voice or pitching a little fit about waiting longer. He soothes her and entertains her and listens to her when she voices her little frustrations. 

It’s sweet and has Mack thinking about how he might have been made for this uncle stuff.

“Okay, I think we better sit down. She is going to combust.” Lucie murmurs, grabbing her coffee and urging Mack to follow her.

The adults all sit and then a wrapping paper bomb goes off in the living room. Stella’s little fingers tear away at the Christmas themed paper. Strip after strip is tossed over her shoulder as Connor takes pictures of her destroying the packages.

“Oh my gosh! Thanks Santa!” Stell yells out after every single one. Mack feels David chuckle behind her, covering his mouth as she goes to town. 

“We just have to let her go.” Connor murmurs, wrapping an arm around his wife. 

“Can’t stop it.” Lucie agrees.

“Good thing she doesn’t have to share any of that attention.” Across the room, a look passes between Connor and Lucie.

“She will get used to it.” Connor insists. 

Now it’s Mack and David’s turn to share a look.

“I’m done!!!” Stella yells.

“Did you win something for being the fastest ever!?” Connor asks, swooping forward and picking her up. “Okay, be honest, what is your favorite.”

“That!” Stella points to the play vanity with fake make up, earrings and a new princess dress.

“Very Stelly.” Connor agrees.

The buzzer to the apartment chimes.

“Oh, that is mom and dad.” Lucie gets off the couch, bouncing over to her phone to let them in.

“Why didn’t we wait?” Mack wonders.

“I told them they had to be here by 8. It’s 8:10.” Lucie shrugs. “It’s not like they don’t have a full room of presents for her at their place.”

“Did you hear your dad? He told me to bring my truck over. What the hell…” 

“Bad.” Stella says, wiggling out of Connor’s arms. She runs down the room then comes hustling back, loaded down with her swear jar.

“You’re collecting taxes on Christmas!?” Connor howls. “Unfair!” 

“Stell, you should double the fine because he complained.” David tells Stella. A devilish glint glows in her eyes. 

“What if I pay in kisses?” 

“Kisses don’t give me legos.” 

“Oh my god.” Connor mutters. “I can’t afford double. Uncle Davey, can you cover me?”

“Just this once.” David drops $20 into her jar. Stella giggles with glee then runs back to put the jar in her room. 

“20?” Connor scoffs. “Okay money bags.”

“That's the smallest bill I got, man.” David laughs. He brings Mack tighter into his body, giving her a kiss on the temple as her parents walk in. 

“Merry Christmas!!!!!” Lexi squeals. “Look who we found at the airport!”

From behind her parents, Sophie Hischier bursts out. Lucie and Mack both rush over to her, collecting their little sister between them. 

“I can’t breathe! I can’t breathe!” She exclaims. 

“Deal with it!” Lucie yells back to her. “Soph!!!” 

“Let me see you!” Mack cups her cheeks. “Ugh stunning. So disgusting how pretty you are.” Sophie beams.

“Remember when we were young and full of life?” Lucie sighs.

“Yeah and then Connor got you pregnant?” Nico murmurs. The whole group gasps at Nico being the one to take the dig.

“Hey.” Connor pouts. “Not fair. Lucie looked old before then.” He bites his lip, bracing for the instant blow back.

Everyone laughs as Lucie runs across the floor and tackles Connor to the floor. Stella joins in too and they both perform a WWE smackdown next to David’s feet. He may or may not have joined in with a few fake elbows towards Connor’s face.

“Welcome to Christmas with the Hischiers, David.” Lexi shrugs her shoulders, then goes to give him a hug. 

The way David grins, Mack knows there is nowhere else he would rather be.

- - - & - - -

A bout of turbulence bumps Mack’s head against the side of the plane, jolting her out of her sleep.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, we have begun our descent into New York City. We are anticipating a few bumps on the way down and are asking the flight attendants to wrap up service early. We want to thank you for flying with us…”

Mack yawns, stretching her arms out in front of her. She glances at the man to her left who continues to click away on his laptop. Mack rolls her shoulders forward, then back, stretching out as much of her body as possible. She hadn’t anticipated sleeping on the plane, but she hasn’t gotten much sleep since she left New York for her latest assignment. 

It was a dream trip for her- a bucket list of getting to visit Iceland in the winter to get up close and personal with the Northern lights. She has never seen such vibrant displays of color in her entire life. But outside of that, the constant darkness did a number on her energy. The natives were so used to it. Mack can’t imagine going to work with it being dark for the entire time you’re there. Her body feels out of wack and she is hopeful that she will see the sun tomorrow morning. 

Mack pulls her phone out of her pocket, looking at the iMessages that came in while she was asleep. She looks through her boyfriend’s immediately, smiling at his nonsense chatter about his latest binge watch without her. He is still trying to convince her that she would love this fantasy land the whole country is obsessed with. Mack knows she won’t. It’s too gory and violent and not relatable. 

I’m about to land, she texts him. I slept for like two hours but I am so tired.

Are you and Lucie still meeting tomorrow morning for breakfast?

Yeah, I haven’t heard otherwise.

Go to my place then instead of home. You’ll get more sleep that way.

Mack smiles. He is so good to her.

That would be great. Thank you 😘

Now I’m jealous of my bed ☹️

Mack sighs at that, feeling similar about the hotel bed he is sitting in currently. The Rangers are on their big, West coast road trip which means Mack won’t be seeing David for another 8 days. A silver lining is that she will be able to work uninterrupted to get started on her story. She usually prefers to get it all out within a day of returning home, then work on editing for the next few days off and on. Mack works best when she gets all her thoughts onto paper, then makes little tweaks here and there. If she tries to force it all out of her at once and submit, she gets in her head about her writing. Like “will anyone actually read this?” and a lot of “who cares?”.

The pilot was correct that their landing is bumping and a bit unpleasant, even for a seasoned traveler like Mack. When they get on the ground, Mack sees the heavy, low hanging clouds that contributed. From their pillowy bundles, snowflakes fall. 

She’s home. But knowing she is going to an empty apartment without David makes her excitement dim. 

New York was never supposed to be home for her. It was supposed to be a place she crashed between assignments, maybe spent some time with her sister and her family, but it wasn’t supposed to be this place she looked forward to coming back to. It is only because of David. His absence has begun to weigh heavy on her both in New York and on assignment. Even while witnessing the most spectacular aurora dancing along the horizon, the only thing she could think was “I wish David was seeing this too.”

For this lone wolf, it’s alarming, but nothing she’s willing to put much stock into yet.

The process of getting out of the airport and into a cab is mundane. Mack gets annoyed at the traffic leaving the airport, just wanting to be in a comfortable, familiar space. When she pulls up to David’s building, she murmurs a thank you to the driver, then tips him after he sets her suitcase on the street.

“Good evening, Ms. Hischier.” David’s doorman, Philip, greets her. 

“Hi Philip. Slow night?”

“Yes, ma’am.” He says as he opens the door for her.

“Try to stay warm.” Mack calls as she heads inside.

“I always do.” He smiles kindly at her. Mack waves and turns towards the elevators. She presses David’s floor, then digs in her bag for his key. In the Des Moines Airport, David handed her a key to his New York apartment on a light up, corn cob keychain. If you squeeze it, it flashes red, green, and blue lights. It’s touristy and tacky, but Mack smiles every time she uses it. Her exchange of keys with him involved a single key- no frills, no fuss, no fun (David’s words). 

She sticks the gold key into the lock and flips it, stepping into his dark, quiet apartment. Everything is clean and picked up aside from a single glass in the kitchen sink.  A few pieces of mail are set on the corner of the counter and a poinsettia plant from Christmas has seen better days. Mack wheels her suitcase to a stop, then grabs the plant, bringing it to the sink to give it some water. It is still going to die, but maybe she can enjoy it for a few more days.

Mack pauses at that thought. Is she staying here for days? She should probably go home tomorrow and get settled back in her space, especially if she is going to write. She puts the plant back on it’s stand after shaking out the excess water. Then she sets it back on the counter. She runs her hand along the cool stone counter, looking out at his place.

Everything is dark, warm colors. David mentioned he hired an interior designer to decorate his place after he bought it. The designer captured David’s personality well. The couch is a dark, espresso brown topped with tan pillows and a deliciously soft cream blanket. A massive TV dominates the wall with a gas fireplace beneath it that David never turns on unless Mack asks. Along the TV are built ins that hold various books, none of which are decorative, but all classics that the designer had painted to match the esthetic. 

“Who paints books?” David had asked Mack when he pointed them out to her. “Can’t read ‘em anymore cause the paint fumes give me a headache.”

She pointed out he could get rid of him. He shrugged. Why get rid of perfectly good books?

Mack chuckles to herself at that. She pulls her phone out, seeing a message from him asking her to check in when she gets settled. 

I made it. She sends him a picture of her in the kitchen, lips making a fish face. I see you let our love fern die.

Funny! You left town too? 

And you call yourself a farmer…

Those are fighting words, Hisch. I don’t have much food, but help yourself.

🥊 I’m going to go to bed.

Yeah, get some rest babe. I’ll talk to you in the morning?

I’ll call you when I’m up.

Okay. Hey, just so you know, you can stay as long as you like. But if you want to go home, I get it too.

Mack pauses, biting her lip for a moment as she contemplates.

Maybe I will ☺️ Someone has to nurse this love fern back to life.

Don’t let us die, honey. I love you, goodnight 😘

I love you too, goodnight 😘

Mack goes through her nighttime routine after putting her phone into Sleep mode. She cleans her face, slaps on some moisturizer then hurries through brushing her teeth. Her energy and self-care desires are slowly waining. She pulls back the comforter of David’s bed and sighs dreamily as she climbs into his spot in bed. Normally she sleeps on the opposite side, but tonight she wants to curl herself into his smells. 

Once comfortable, she pulls her phone up to do a quick scan through Instagram. She flicks through various posts from her friends. She tosses a like to Liv’s photo dump of LA with Luca. She clicks over into explore, seeing if there is anything worth looking through before she calls it a night. She pauses over an image of David with TRADE RUMORS in bold at the bottom of the icon. 

What?

She clicks on it, skimming the text. Essentially the Rangers are rumored to be shopping David because they don’t have the salary cap space to resign him this summer. So rather than letting him walk into Free Agency without getting a return, they are shopping him to teams outside the Metro division. 

A cold bucket of reality is slapped over Mack’s body. It may as well be ice cubes sliding down her spine with the shiver that rolls through her. 

David traded?

The thought never crossed Mack’s mind. She may not be the most NHL literate girlfriend, but she knows David has high value with the Rangers, especially as Connor’s partner on the first defensive pair. This is only one report, right? It can’t be more than a rumor.

But when Mack searches through more social media outlets, several additional reports from various different sources are reporting on this numerously over the last week, even as early as five days ago.

David didn’t share any of this with her. In fact, hockey has barely come up with them since she left for Iceland, other than him going out of town.

Mack sits up in bed, getting ready to text him. Then she thinks better of it. She is too tired to have this conversation. She places her phone on the nightstand then tucks her hand under her cheek. 

What happens if David is traded? Her stomach swirls at the thought of this taking him away from her. She’s so in love with him now. How could she handle this?

So much for that sleep she needs.

- - - & - - -

The next morning, in their favorite breakfast spot, Mack pushes her food around on her plate as Lucie cuts up pancakes for Stella. 

“I don’t want these anymore. I want strawberry ones.” The little girl whines.

“Well, you made a choice and we aren’t going to waste food.” Lucie says.

“Daddy would let me.” The four year old huffs. Lucie looks up at Mack and narrows her eyes as she saws through the pancake a little more forcefully.

“Should we call him and ask?” Lucie directs the question to her daughter.

“No.” Stella pouts. Connor would never side with Stella over his wife. All three girls at the table know that.

“Auntie, can I have your bacon?”

“Sure.” Mack pushes her plate towards her niece. Stella takes a piece. The waitress comes by and asks if they need anything else. Mack orders another coffee, hoping it will perk her up more.

“You jet lagged?” Lucie asks once she turns back to her own food. She swallows a bite of oatmeal and winces before gulping down water. Lucie has looked a little pale this whole meal, but hasn’t said anything about feeling sick.

“I didn’t sleep well last night.” Mack admits. 

“Mama didn’t either. She was up a lot.” Lucie pauses, then tentatively spoons more oatmeal in her mouth. 

“It’s hard to sleep without the boys, huh?” Lucie continues. “I always feel like it’s too quiet with Connor gone.”

“Yeah.” Mack answers, then drops her gaze back to her plate.

“What’s up, Mackie?” Mack pauses, glancing at Stella who sucks up a big gulp of her orange juice. 

“Ahhhhh.” The little girl exclaims. For not wanting blueberry pancakes, she sure is scarfing them down. Mack continues to watch her shove the syrupy bites into her mouth. 

“What was it like when Connor got traded?” Mack asks. Lucie’s eyebrows furrow.

“Wow, that feels so long ago. Um, obviously not ideal because I was pregnant.” She takes another sip of water and pushes out a breath.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” Lucie waves away. “But it worked out. He’s a captain now and fits in well with the Rangers. It’s been good for our family. He has great teammates. The organization takes care of us. Sometimes I wish it was still him and Lio on the same team, but David has been a good friend to Connor. Protects him out on the ice too.” 

“Were there signs?”

“Um.” Lucie contemplates. “I think Connor had some experiences where he thought it might happen. Just conversations with management and the coaching staff. Him and I talked about it, but we were so young and naive. We didn’t think it would really happen. Then it did.” She shrugs.

“So you two talked about it?”

“Yeah.” Lucie nods. She swallows then groans a bit. Mack watches her take another sip of water. She contemplates asking her if she is okay again, but she figures Lucie is going to lie to her again. “Why?”

“I saw some trade rumors on social media about David. But he hasn’t brought it up.”

“Maybe there isn’t anything to bring up.”

“Sure, but it’s been going on for a week. He didn’t bring it up while I was gone, or when I got back last night, or when I called him this morning. It’s been business as usual.”

“Hm. Connor did mention it to me this week.” Lucie admits. “But he didn’t seem to think there was a lot of substance behind the rumors. David will get a good contract extension this summer, but you might have to deal with some rough seas before hand. That’s part of the NHL lifestyle.”

Mack stares blankly back at her older sister.

Her skin starts to itch and her throat begins to tighten up. 

This feels like more than she signed up for. 

Her only response to her sister is a nod. 

They finish breakfast quickly because Lucie is clearly trying not to vomit all over the table. Mack has her suspicions of what is ailing Lucie, but it isn’t for her to say. 

“Are you coming back to David’s” Lucie asks as they step outside. 

“Um…” Mack trails off. She crosses her arms over her chest, tucking her hands into the sleeves of her jacket to protect them. “I think, I’m going to go grab my stuff and then head home. I should check on my place and make sure everything looks good.”

“Okay. Do you want to come over for dinner? We could watch the game together if you’re going to be back at David’s?”

“I don’t think so. I have to get started on my Iceland article. It’s due next week.”

“Okay.” Lucie responds. “Maybe we can do something when the boys get back this weekend?”

“Sure.” Mack nods as they begin to walk back towards the apartment building.

Mack says goodbye to Lucie and Stella, then heads to David’s. She quickly gathers her stuff, then puts his apartment back to the way she found it. She glances over his stuff, wondering what he would do with this place if he is traded. She frowns deeply, the lump in her throat expanding more. She shouldn’t think about that. She needs to get out of here, go home and get lost back in Iceland rather than the unknowns of NHL trade season. 

She walks out of the apartment, flicking the lock back into place. Her corn cob keychain bumps into the door, lighting up her bag when she tosses it inside.

In her rush, Mack completely forgets the reviving poinsettia on the counter.

Read more Mack and David here

[birdmenmanga]

A while ago I received a beautiful painting of Eishi in the mail from @kitsoa!! I've been meaning to post pictures of it but I so rarely have physical objects I wanted a proper photoshoot to do it justice <3

When I first saw this I was absolutely blown away by the colors. These magenta-maroon hues aren't ones I associate with urban cityscapes at all and yet it's beautiful and dreamlike. There are a lot of poignant moments of loneliness in this series and this piece really captures that feeling, in my opinion. I almost feel like crying when I look at it sometimes. Kitsoa just has a way with color I can never hope of coming close to; I often look at her artworks and think, "Ah, her brain's just wired in a fundamentally different way from mine." (NOT a lamentation btw-- I consider it a blessing that we are put on this earth to show each other pictures of that which the other could not conceive of)

I have it up on my wall with sticky tack (didn't want to put tape on the front in case it got damaged when I inevitably have to move away) and I look at it all the time. I love it so much!! Thank you!!