#this is so much text i cannot make myself reread all of that to make sure it all makes sense and there are no typos

[kendraontmblr]

hiyaa! I was wondering if you could write something about not having seen carlos for weeks and when you finally join him for whatever tournament he cannot behave, not even in public so let alone in your hotel room 🤭🤭. If that’s okay with you🙏🏼

A/N: hi anon ! ooo, this is gonna be so good. i’m assuming you want some spiceeee. so i got you 🤭 this is my first time ever writing something like this. so hopefully i could give you what you wanted. let me know what you think ! mwah

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CRAVE YOU - C. ALCARAZ

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Pairing: Carlos Alcaraz x Fem!Reader [SECOND PERSON POV]

Word count: 1.5k

Warnings: [18+] mature content, has sexual themes, romantic undertones, and explicit scenes.

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Weeks had passed since you’d last seen each other—weeks of training, tournaments, and distance. The anticipation of finally joining Carlos at his latest tournament had your heart racing. He’d been teasing you with late-night messages and playful words, but it wasn’t the same as being near him.

Text after text kept popping up on your phone, each one adding to the heat between you. “I miss you so much, amor” and “Can’t wait to see you,” he’d say, teasingly followed by, “I don’t think I’ll be able to control myself when I see you, cariño.”

You reread each message, the anticipation growing with every word. Your lips parted slightly, and you bit down, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. It had been so long since you two were together, and you could already feel the heat of his presence, knowing when you finally came face-to-face, he wouldn’t hold back.

Carlos had personally invited you to this social event, a gathering filled with players, their partners, sponsors, media personalities, and other important figures from the tennis world. It was an opportunity for everyone to unwind, network, and celebrate the tournament in a more relaxed atmosphere. While the event was bustling with conversation and laughter, all you could think about was the chance to finally be with Carlos after weeks of distance—away from the courts, the cameras, and the constant pressure of the sport. The exhaustion of your grueling schedules made it nearly impossible for you both to find time to be together, but tonight, you finally had this moment.

As you entered the event’s venue, your eyes locked across the crowd. His smile was everything you needed, but it was the way he studied you, the intensity of his gaze, that sent shivers down your spine. The buzz of conversations and soft clinking of glasses surrounded you, but his attention was solely on you. Despite the noise and movement around you, it was as if you both were in a world of your own, and that magnetic pull between you only grew stronger. The distance between you was too far but still close enough to make your pulse race.

You made your way through the crowd, and in an instant, he was by your side. He pulled you into a warm embrace, mindful of the public setting, his lips brushing softly against your cheek. The moment was brief, but his whisper in your ear—softly telling you how much he missed you—sent a rush of warmth through you. He was careful, but there was no hiding the intensity behind his touch and the longing in his eyes.

As you mingled among the crowd, you found yourself engaging in light conversation with other players and their partners. The WAGs were a welcoming group, sharing laughs and stories about their experiences on tour. You talked about everything from life on the road to the latest gossip in the tennis world, all while sipping on drinks and enjoying the elegant setting.

The entire evening, Carlos was subtle— trying to hold back, or at least, he tried. His hands were on you at every chance he got—resting on your back, grazing your waist, and brushing against your arm, each touch a silent promise of the tension building between the two of you. As you both mingled with other guests, the sound of laughter and clinking glasses filled the air, but it was hard to focus on anything else but the heat between you. Carlos was talking to a few sponsors, his attention divided, but you could feel his gaze lingering on you from across the room.

And as time went on, his patience began to slip. The lingering touches grew more urgent, more demanding, like he couldn’t keep himself in check any longer. It was clear—he was on the edge, and so were you. The room buzzed with conversations, but it felt as though you both were in a world of your own, every shared glance and fleeting touch intensifying the magnetic pull between you.

He would press behind you, his chest lightly brushing your back, and You could feel him—his heat, his desire. Your stomach erupted with butterflies, each movement sending a wave of anticipation through you. His lips lingered on your shoulder, and as his breath danced across your skin, you shivered, both from the warmth of his touch and the depth of the connection between you. Around you, the party continued with people chatting and the hum of music playing softly in the background, but none of it mattered. “You smell so good,” he whispered low, his voice sending a rush of heat through you once more.

“Behave, Carlos” You warned, your voice a mix of amusement and desire. But you weren’t really trying to stop him. He knew it, too, just a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. The guests around you were oblivious, absorbed in their conversations, but it didn’t matter to Carlos—he was all in.

You tried to ignore the heat building in your chest. Carlos leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear, and whispered, “Dame un beso… [Give me a kiss].” His breath was hot against your skin, making your pulse race, and you felt the space between you close even further. You could feel the pressure building, not just in your body, but in the air around you.

You hesitated for a split second, the pull between you two undeniable, before you leaned in, capturing his lips in a slow, teasing kiss. His hands roamed, one resting firmly on your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened. Each touch, each whisper, was a promise of what was to come, and you couldn’t help but lose yourself in it.

Every now and then, you’d catch him tugging at the strap of your dress, his fingers grazing your skin, ensuring you felt the tension building between you. His fingers brushed the strap of your dress, letting it slip off your shoulder. The playful edge in his touch made your heart race even faster, but you couldn’t stay in the moment for long. Other people were nearby, oblivious to the tension between you, but you both knew—this wasn’t over.

Later, as you sat beside him, Carlos’ team and a few close friends nearby, he got even bolder. His hand rested on your thigh, gently at first, before it started inching higher, just barely brushing the top of your thigh. You shifted slightly, aware of his proximity, and whispered under your breath, “You should behave, Carlos.” His eyes darkened with a mix of challenge and desire, but he didn’t stop. He was enjoying the game. The subtle game of patience he was playing—and you were losing.

When the day finally came to a close, and you were alone in the hotel room, the tension between you both finally broke. Carlos wasted no time closing the door behind him, his hands on you the moment you were inside. No more subtle touches—he was feral, unable to control himself after so long apart. He tightened his grip, pulling you closer, his breath warm against your ear. “You’re mine now,” he murmured, voice laced with possession. “No más [No more]. No more waiting.”

Carlos’ lips found yours almost instantly, urgent and hungry, as if he were making up for lost time. He kissed you deeply, the kind of kiss that made the air between you thicken with desire. Pulling back just slightly, his breath hot against your ear, he muttered, “Te he echado tanto de menos… [I missed you so much] you have no idea what I’ve been thinking about,” his hands now gripping your waist as he pulled you closer.

You let out a shaky breath, a small smile tugging at your lips as your hands ran through his hair. “I think I have an idea…”

He smirked, his eyes wild with longing. “You have no clue, amor… I’m going to make sure you feel it.”

Carlos captured your lips again, the kiss deeper this time, a silent promise of what was to come. Slowly, you both moved together, his hands guiding you toward the bed, the back of your knees brushing the edge of it as he pulled you closer, not breaking the kiss. Both of you were consumed by the heat building between you.

You pulled away slightly, your eyes glinting with a playful challenge. “You’ve been misbehaving all evening, Carlos,” you teased, your voice low and mischievous. You ran your fingers through his hair, tugging him closer. “I warned you, didn’t I? That you’d have to pay for all that teasing.” Your eyes never left his as you sank slowly onto the bed, your fingertips trailing down to his belt buckle. Carlos’ breath hitched at the touch, his chest rising and falling, as he looked down at you.

Spreading your legs just enough, you whispered, “Get on your knees, Carlos.”

His gaze darkened at the sound of your request, a smirk playing on his lips as he sank to his knees. “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into, cariño,” he muttered, his voice thick with desire. His large hands found your thighs, spreading them further as his gaze intensified. “But I’ll make sure you remember every second.”

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a/n: part 2 ??????? 🤭

with love always,

kendra

[utopiastri]

hiiii!

soooo i read and reread all your f1 fics.

since they are all so effing amazing, well written, funny when needed, you must have a great taste in fics. sooo do you maybe, perhaps have any landoscar fic recommendations??

have a mega day!

-💫

hi 💫 anon!!! this was. the absolute loveliest ask to wake up to this morning so thank you SO much for sending it 💕💕💕💕💕

you are so kind and please know all of these compliments have absolutely made my day!!!!!

and GOD i would LOVE to give some landoscar fic recommendations, there is nothing i love more than talking about authors i adore

i very much started rambling about these fics so i'm putting my recs below the cut!

ok immediately we're off to a rogue start because i'm going to recommend a fic that isn't posted yet but @1425fivefive's upcoming fic Learned Behavior is just honestly going to be one of the best things you will ever read - i have been honoured to receive SO many wonderful snippets from it and every single one is just as amazing as the others and i am SO excited to see the full thing

i am legally and contractually obligated to put three-sixteenths by @ipleadbritney on here because i am actually three-sixteenths' biggest fan and as part of that it is in fact my job to make sure everyone has read one of the most DELIGHTFUL magical realism fics of all time, one that fills me with such joy every time i think about it, let alone read it

by love remembered by @lellabellas is just. i LOVE fairytales so much and the way this is such a gorgeous homage to fairytales whilst also being one of the most wonderful fanfics you will ever read is honestly just. a sign of talent of truly the highest degree!!!!

brevity is the soul of wit by a_new_anon because i absolutely have to recommend one of the absolute CUTEST texting fics i have ever read. i grinned my entire way through reading it and i cannot recommend highly enough oh my GOD

the devil in me by @its-all-papaya because who am i as a person if i'm not constantly Obsessed with the idea of jealous oscar piastri. GOD this fic has everything - including one of my favourite final lines of any fic like. ever

AND on top of all of these, because i am a firm believer in showing love and affection to tumblr drabbles as well, please have a few of my favourites of those as well:

I'll Wait (I'm Sorry) by @wanderingblindly because liquid reblogged this again recently and this version of landoscar has NOT LEFT MY BRAIN SINCE!!! i reread it and had to sit down lest i faint. concept of all time i fear!!!!!!!

fireworks - prompt by @foggieststars because every so often i think about what landoscar will be like when they're no longer teammates and then i remember it doesn't matter because i can just think about one of the Sweetest drabbles i have ever read about lando and oscar dealing with oscar leaving and i am calm again

immortal - osctober prompt by @nyoomfruits because sad immortal vampire oscar has actually been haunting me for the last month and i am still SO SAD ABOUT IT (but like. in a good way obviously)

ok i will cut myself off there but !!!!! anon thank you so much for allowing me to ramble on about all this writing i love so much!!!! and thank you again for the kind words 💕💕💕

also if anyone would like to not be tagged, please let me know!!!

[charmedslayer]

Hey how do you colour your gifs? I’ve been trying to get better and would really appreciate any tips

bear with me cause i have adhd and i am very bad at explaining things

I’ll start by saying i use Photoshop CS6 so you know what program i’m working with. Now i’m gonna list all the layers i typically use when i’m coloring a gif.

Brightness & Contrast: sometimes i add this layer after all the others (but beneath all the others as if it’s the first layer i added) to reduce the brightness a bit if the whites are too bright

Levels: this is pretty much always the first layer i use which i mostly use to color correct which also often brightens the gif (it depends though i can’t always use it to color correct+brighten the gif). the method i use is using the eye dropper to pick the blackest point and the whitest point in the gif (which is what can color correct it and most often also brightens the gif a whole lot)

I tried to find the tutorial where i learnt about this but i could mostly only find tutorials with people using the eye dropper method with the “curves” layer but it’s the exact same concept as the “levels layer” and i did eventually find one using the “levels” layer so i’ll link to those tutorials below:

tutorial #1, tutorial #2, tutorial #3, tutorial #4, tutorial #5

i also decided to include my own screenshots so this below is the levels layer with the black point eye dropper circled in red:

and this is the levels layer with the white point eye dropper circled in red:

I tried it out with the curves layer after seeing these tutorials but i’m gonna be sticking to using the levels layer cause i know how to use it better and so when i color correct with the eye dropped i can also then adjust the blacks/grays/whites here (all circled in red):

Color Balance: i usually always add a color balance next and adjust them in this order:

Midtones

Highlights

Shadows

Curves (#1): then i often add a curves layer to lighten up the gif and add some contrast which can often looks something like this:

Selective Color (#1):

Reds (most often something like: Cyan: -20 to +10, Black: -10 to +10)

Yellows (often decrease Yellow: -20)

If there’s some green/cyan/blue/magenta colors in your gif i.e. green/blue/purple/pink colors then mess around with you can mess around with the Cyan/Magenta/Yellow in each color below:

Greens 

Cyans

Blues

Magentas

Curves (#2): sometimes i add another curves layer, after adjusting the colors to make them pop, to brighten the gif just a bit more so that when i adjust the whites they look how i want them too, not really sure how to explain but i guess it adds contrast to the rest of the colors and idk make the gif look less flat? and it can also sometimes give the gifs a bit of a glowy effect like this gifset here for example

Curves (#2: alternative second curves layer): sometimes i’ll add a second curves layer not to brighten the gif but actually to make it darker, but because i’ll already have made the gif brighter at this point i can control how dark i make it and it won’t end up pitch black unable to see anything. it can make for some interesting results to darken the gif like this. the layer to make it darker can look something similar to this but you might wanna play around with it for awhile to get it right:

but basically this time your two points on the curve are on the other side of that gray line you see in the middle whereas if you look back to the curve i used to brighten you’ll see my two points are on the other side of the line or above it

Selective Color (#1):

Whites (most of the time Black: -20 sometimes more like -30 and sometimes even all the way to -100. it just depends on the gif)

Neutrals (most times i have Black set to +10 but sometimes it needs less or more than that like +5 or +15 and sometimes i use it in the opposite direction like -10 to brighten the gif up)

Blacks (this makes the darkest colors (dark gray/black) a more pure/absolute black and it very often doesn’t need to be much higher than +1 or +2, also if you’ve got blue in the gif that’s creating a pixel-y/grainy effect you can add +5 or +10 to the Yellow to keep the blue but get rid of a bit of the pixels ending up with a clearer nicer looking gif)

I decided to include screenshots below:

As you sent in this ask very soon after reblogging this gifset, i figured i’d include a bit of the coloring process for that gifset.

So this is the gif (as a still image so there’s no movement) with no coloring, just the sharpening:

Then i added a Levels layer and used the eye dropper like i mentioned above to color correct which as you can see also greatly brightened the gif:

There’s a bit of a lack of contrast though on her face so i adjusted the levels layer to this:

So i brought the blacks down (10) making it darker, the grays (0.75) the default is 1.00 and i brought it down to 0.75 making the gif darker on the whole not just the blacks and then i brightened it a bit by moving the whites from 255 (the default) to 245. so now it looks like this:

next i added Color Balance cause the colors were looking a bit off, a bit orange in this case

then i added Curves to darken it a bit cause i found it a bit too bright:

next i used Selective Color to make the reds/blues pop + adjust the whites/neutrals/blacks

i found it a bit to bright in certain parts of her face at certain points of the gif so i added a Brightness/Contrast layer at -20 (brightness) and 10 (contrast) i put underneath all the other layers

This is what the layers look like in case any of this was confusing (which shows apparently i found the B/C layer made it look too dark so i changed the opacity to 70%):

Note: i feel it’s hard to see the differences after every layer added just seeing the images one below the other but if you click on the first image of buffy you can then click the arrow keys to go left/right and see the gradual progress of the coloring.

While searching for the tutorials mentioned earlier i found this helpful general coloring tips post i decided i’d include:

https://whitewolfofwinterfell.tumblr.com/post/181682828552/gif-colouring-tips-this-post-is-some-top-tips-for

Also this is an old gif/coloring “tutorial” i made years ago when i had just gotten back into giffing, so like it’s outdated cause my coloring process has changed a lot since but it could still be helpful. One thing i mentioned in it is how i like to do my coloring before i crop and resize my gifs which really helps me color things easier cause i can really see every pixel and color i’m working with and how i’m affecting each one (unless you’re making a big gif anyway then i guess you could crop/resize it first but i’d still recommend coloring before resizing) whereas every tutorial i’ve ever seen always says to crop/resize first THEN color but i’ve found the other way ��round to be easier. So there might be some other helpful things even if it’s somewhat outdated to how i make my gifs now.

[hier--soir]

feb + mar + apr reads

norma jean baker of troy by anne carson [★★★★★]

"Sometimes I think language should cover its own eyes when it speaks."

"Is she human? Are you? Is she a beast out of control? There's so much danger. No human can become just a beast, you plunge beyond - beyond what? Remember Jack the Ripper? 'I'm down on whores and I shan't quit ripping them till I get buckled,' Jack wrote in a letter to the newspaper, September 18, 1888. He never did get buckled. Of course insane, his mind blooming with it, who could go down that rabbit-hole or unlock such a puzzle as Jack? - but still, the woman! the thing is! the woman has everything and you smile and you take some."

: ̗̀➛ an exploration of the lives and myths of marilyn monroe and helen of troy.

: ̗̀➛ anne carson is there anything you can't do? please email me back. please.

piglet by lottie hazell [★★★★]

"'I want to make some food,' she said. 'For both of us?' he asked. 'No, just for me.'"

: ̗̀➛ one woman, piglet, and the lead up to her wedding in the face of a big confession from her fiancé.

: ̗̀➛ this one slipped beneath my skin and writhed around the spot inside me where i've tucked away all of my food issues.

merciless gods by christos tsiolkas [★★]

"I'm scared that if I let go, not only the room, not only this city, but the whole world will go cold forever."

"Your false gods cannot save you. There is only one God, my God."

: ̗̀➛ short stories that bash you over the head with how awful things and people and places can be. i did not live for this one... particularly wasn't into the one where a guy jerked his dad who has alzheimers off.

foe by iain reid [★★]

"All day. Time keeps moving. I've always thought that was a good thing. Until recently. I'm not so sure now. Is it good? For time to go by fast?"

: ̗̀➛ they want to send junior to space and replace him with a robot that looks and acts and talks exactly like him so his wife has company in his absence.

: ̗̀➛ marriage and trust and complacency, and a guy called terrence who we get reminded over and over has long gorgeous hair.

: ̗̀➛ a little boring for my taste. i had an idea of where it was going pretty early on, and it took a while for me to be proven right. pretty disconcerting!

acts of desperation by megan nolan [★★★★]

"The need was a true and human part of me, but I could feel nothing else of myself to be true or human, and so the need seemed ungodly, an aberration."

: ̗̀➛ a book full of confession, desire, jealousy, violence, and power. messy messy messy!!!! readers procceed with caution.

: ̗̀➛ shout out to everyone who said i should read this - you were right, it is up my alley.

gone girl by gillian flynn [★★★★]

"My wife was no longer my wife but a razor-wire knot daring me to unloop her, and I was not up to the job with my thick, numb, nervous fingers. Country fingers. Flyover fingers untrained in the intricate, dangerous work of solving Amy. When I'd hold up the bloody stumps, she'd sigh and turn to her secret mental notebook on which she tallied all my deficiencies, forever noting disappointments, frailties, shortcomings."

: ̗̀➛ i have become a gillian flynn STAN this year, it's true. despite having seen the movie multiple times, i enjoyed reading this, and was delighted to find some differences in the texts [for better and for worse].

: ̗̀➛ nick dunne, big fan of the lie of omission, mama's boy whose mama is dead, i'd like to introduce you to couples therapy.

dead beautiful and life eternal by yvonne woon [reread] [★★★]

: ̗̀➛ the first two books in a paranormal romance trilogy. these kinda bang guys, i can't lie. 15-year-old me was onto something when she decided to keep these instead of donating them. however, they DO have some of the worst book covers i've ever seen, sorry yvonne.

fourth wing by rebecca yarros [★★★]

: ̗̀➛ a romantasy book that has dragons, smut, and twists that you'll see coming from a mile away. pretty fun. recced to me by one man in person and a thousand women on tik tok.

: ̗̀➛ no one who has the thought 'double standards for the win' is using 'whomever' in a casual sentence with the guy she's having sex with.

: ̗̀➛ good enemies to lovers should have actual murder attempts. but maybe that's jusT MY OPINION.

my book rating system is as follows:

★ = i felt pure contempt the entire time

★★ = yeah it's a book

★★★ = i liked it!

★★★★ = good fucking book, damn

★★★★★ = blew my dick clean off and i'll throw a tantrum if everyone i know doesn't also read it and love it

[youcouldmakealife]

Do you ever mix up names? I love your stories, but I am shit at names and as your pantheon/league grows I find myself increasingly turned around by all the north american dude names (first, last, AND hockey nicknames!!!). I can usually keep track of the on-going series names and names that are less common in North America (Kiro, Sven), but if I'm reading, say, an ask or rereading I usually have remind myself who is who first.

I don't mix them up between themselves and other characters in either a similar name way (James vs Jake, say) or roles (mixing up say, Wheels and Craney and Matty).

(This got so long and off topic, why does this always happen)

What I do mix up is sort of more of a...muscle memory thing, maybe? I'm writing the word, say, gorgeous, and I have to delete georgieous first, because my fingers apparently have become a phone's autocorrect function. I actually did write James as Jake a few times when I was deep deep in editing BTT, but again, it was just sort of like...an autofill error between my brain and my fingers.

The names themselves I'm pretty good with, though I do worry about whether I'll continue to be as a) the pantheon continues to expand (I love this by the way, and now I'm probably going to spend the rest of my evening mentally assigning characters places in the pantheon) and b) I get older. And both things seem pretty inevitable to me.

Unfortunately, the two things I appear to have in common with Leo Tolstoy are brevity and 'these people have three names, and I'm going to use them all interchangeably'. (ie Vinny is Thomas to himself, but Vinny to literally everybody else including me. And sometimes Tommy but only to Anton and his parents and only sometimes. Anton's alternately Anton, Petrov, Tony to Vinny and teammates, or Antosha to his family.)

I'd honestly apologise for it but it's one of those things that's really inextricable from the sort of...falling into a perspective way that I write, the same way I write in American English for American characters and Canadian English for Canadians, or use Christian (and specifically Catholic) references in Robbie or Georgie's POVs but never, say, Mike's or David's, unless we count Mike's very liberal usage of the word goddamn (and it's lowercase with him, but it'd be Goddamn to Robbie.)

And the different vocabularies extends to names. Like William Dineen is William to Robbie, he specifically asked to be called that when he was a teenager who wanted to feel more adult, and Robbie respected that then and continues to now. Georgie respected it in another way -- he was Willy to him, and now he uses Will, which William is fine with, but only with immediate family.

But in the text itself Georgie would never use William, because it'd feel distant to him, and Robbie would never use Will because he'd consider that disrespectful after William specifically requested to be called that, and me choosing one or the other wouldn't be in character, so he's Will and he's William, but never Willy (that's Tate Williams).

I make this all sound like a much more conscious process than it is. A lot of this stuff I've only figured out via metacognition of my writing process, which is, by necessity, done in hindsight.

My original answer to questions like 'why did you do _____ that way?' is invariably '*shrug* felt right', and people tend to find that...unsatisfying, so I often investigate further, and the answer becomes 'felt right because of <this reason I was in no way consciously aware of during the writing process>'. As I've said to my poor beleaguered editor, a lot of my writing process is 'just vibes'. I follow good vibes. Bad vibes tell me something's not working, and I adjust accordingly. I think a lot (I cannot tell you how many times I've been accused of overthinking things), but when it comes to writing, most of it's happening beyond my own perception, so instead it feels more like gut instinct. (which is, indeed, what gut instinct often boils down to: pattern recognition going on beneath one's conscious awareness)

[bottledupcomic]

Hello! First of all, I just want to say; I absolutely adore your character design skills. I got bored and reread most of the current BUP chapters and old CCDT chapters recently. And the old squid kid designs were really good, but the way you translated them all so well into the BUP universe where they’re all distinct but still contain qualities reminiscent of their original designs is amazing. I’m pretty sure if I showed both BUP’s and CCDT’s characters to someone who didn’t read either—they’d be able to piece together which characters are which pretty well.

Your character designs, world designs, honestly everything, are so unique. I love how each character looks so different from each other—and have all these details that set them apart. If they were all put next to each other and blacked out like silhouettes, you’d be able to tell who’s who very quickly. Your character design is so witty. I really just can’t explain it without sounding like a gushing nerd. I just absolutely adore how all of the characters look and their personalities. It’s all just so cool.

Second of all, I have a question. Now, we the audience cannot see Angelo’s eyes. But the instances where he’s had his back turned or had his face partially covered up by leaves or intelligently placed text bubbles, he appears to not be wearing his goggles. So now I have to ask: does the cast know what Angelo’s eyes look like? Is it something like in CCDT where they’ve already found out and accept it? Is it not a big deal? Or does he simply have perfectly normal eyes and you’re just trolling the readers? (Or is this another one of those “you’ll find out later on in the story” kind of things?)

I can’t wait to see the rewritten chapters, and I can’t wait to see what changes amongst lore and characters and whatnot. I just know it’s gonna be juicy. So so so so hyped! (My apologies for the long text)

Oh gosh, thank you so much for such a kind message. It means a lot.

I put a lot of thought into the designs and try to make them all recognizable, even as silhouettes so it's nice to hear you feel I've succeeded. I'm still doing designing and don't think it's ever fully done but I want to push myself and learn. Thank you again. And ah yes, Angelo's eyes. Yes, we see that he's comfortable showing his eyes around everyone so that means that if he was hiding something, everyone knows now and don't care. Or there just isn't anything to hide. So... "You'll find out later on in the story", haha.

Thank you again for such a nice message. Life is throwing uncertainties and that's draining my energy but I do want to get back to BUP. Thank you all who are patient and looking forward to the comic's return. It will happen.

[daryl-dixon-daydreams]

Heyyy, how are yaa <3 I've been following and keeping up with your blog for a while now and I think you depict each and every character so well, which seems to be a failing factor to a lot of good writers who unfortunately cannot understand characters in all angles. - basically saying I love and I'm glad to have found your blog ahah

So I wanted to ask you something; I'm also a writer, not in the fanfiction/character-writing realm. It's texts, reflections, poems and songs! And I wanted to know how you managed to pave your way through and build a strong base here on the website; basically how you came to be and tried to launch yourself! It's something I always wonder when checking out other popular blogs.

Thank you!! Have a great one <3

HELLO MY DEARHEART! Thank you so much for this uplifting message! It seriously means a ton. It is so, SO important to me to keep all the characters true to themselves so I very much appreciate your feedback <3 I'm so glad you found me too! I actually have a post about this on what was/is my original fanfiction blog here ( @supernaturalfreewill ) which has an even more obscene number of followers than this one does haha because I used to get asked this ALL THE TIME. The post has some thoughts which may or may not be relevant/useful to you.

I think the main things to remember are: 1.) You should be doing this purely for yourself, not to hit some follower goal or some particular benchmark. If you don't enjoy it and you set certain expectations the work suffers and it can be very disheartening if you aren't hitting those goals when or how you wanted to. It's funny how when what you are doing is fulfilling to you, people are attracted to it! If you write what you love, it shows. And putting in the time to edit and reread and practice your craft makes a difference. 2.) Being consistent in multiple ways is important. Posting every single day feeds the stupid algorithm and gets eyes on your work and keeps people coming back for more. Producing a consistent kind of content makes people more likely to follow because they know what to expect from you. At the minimum, make it clear what your blog or site is going to have. I know for myself on Tumblr, I rarely follow blogs that are a mishmash of many topics or things because I like to know what I can expect to see on my dashboard. I follow blogs with a clear "theme" and I definitely have seen it work in terms of building my own following. It's why I have separate blogs for my different fandoms and didn't incorporate them into a multi-fandom blog. (But everyone has different tastes and I'm definitely not saying you can't be successful as a random blog or multi-fandom blog lol but you get what I'm saying!)

3.) Cultivate your "brand" and also be you! Putting yourself out there and being authentic also seems to attract people.

In terms of what I did here on Tumblr, it's literally just those things above. I was already doing the writing for myself and then thought "Hey, maybe other people would enjoy this?" and started posting consistently and frequently. I can honestly say at least when I started posting my Supernatural fics MANY moons ago, I NEVER expected it to take off the way it did. But once I got started, I just kept going as long as I enjoyed it. The idea is the same here on this blog. I try to post at least a drabble almost every day, I frequently interact with my followers, and I write what I love.

I hope this is at least a little what you were asking about haha and I wish you all the best inspiration as a fellow writer! <3 I'm glad you're here.

[butterflydm]

WoT reread: The Strike at Shayol Ghul & some final thoughts, post-reread

So, I was not planning to do a full reread back when I first picked EotW back up again! My primary motivation was to refresh myself on books 1-3 so that I would be prepared for S2 of the show, lol.

But I'm glad that I did this reread. There was a lot in the books that I had forgotten or where I'd bought into the fandom party line despite the books themselves not supporting the arguments imo, so it was great to dive into them again and see what I think and not simply what general fandom thinks. Thanks so much to everyone who commented on or interacted with my reread posts. <3

While this next bit is technically not a reread because I never got around to reading it when it first came out, I went ahead and read "The Strike at Shayol Ghul" (written in 1996 by Jordan). Thanks to @wafflelovingbatgirl for reminding me about its existence! I may try to get around to reading "River of Souls" (about Demandred, by Sanderson) at some point, but TSaSG was easy to find online.

here there be spoilers

The Strike at Shayol Ghul

It's pretty short -- it's "an introduction" written by someone in-world -- Jorille Mondevin, who is the Royal Historian for the Queen of Kandor. Looks like the Queen that we know in the series -- Queen Ethenielle. Nice. I always enjoy 'in-world" texts, so this is very interesting.

She's telling the queen about a recent discovery of a "partial copy" of a "history of the world" from the drilling of the Bore until the end of the Breaking of the World. We get a worldbuilding note here: that the practice of printing survived the Breaking "when so much did not", which helps explain the high literacy level in the Westlands. While many inventions were lost, the printing press survived! Though most of the actual writings were lost during the Trolloc Wars and the War of the Hundred Years.

"We must marvel at any writing that has survived more than three thousand years." So true, bestie. (I've decided that Jorille and I are besties) "What we know is based on fragments, copied and recopied a thousand times, but at least we know something from them. Even a little knowledge is better than ignorance."

I love how this feeds into the basic concept we're dealing with -- history becomes legend. We're talking about that process here, of knowledge being reduced to fragments that are passed on.

Oh, man, reading this does remind me about reading about IRL fragmentary texts. "Such a history would no doubt be a vast, multi-volume work, yet of the two hundred and twelve surviving pages, the largest number of consecutive pages number six, and nowhere else more than two."

She notes that the dates given in the text make no sense, because "no calendar dating from the Age of Legends has ever been found". There are references both to large-scale events such as cities destroyed by balefire during the War of the Shadow, as well as mentions of individuals' personal appearances. But nothing that tells the special significance of most of the people mentioned.

The six consecutive pages that survived are of particular interest, because they are about the sealing of the Bore by Lews Therin Telamon and the Hundred Companions.

"We still cannot be certain how long passed between the creation of the Bore and the actual beginning of what would come to be called the War of the Shadow, yet plainly at least fifty years and possibly more than one hundred were marked by a rapid decline in the social order". During the first three years of the War of the Shadow, the Shadow made great in-roads and then during the next four, Lews Therin pushed them back to reclaim some of what was lost.

But ultimately, the Shadow began to prevail because it did not care if it left disaster in its wake. It was soon clear that they were losing again and their losses were accelerating. "If they were to win at all, it must be done quickly".

There were two plans proposed at the time that are mentioned here: first Lews Therin's idea of directly attacking the Bore itself. The Seals were going to be used to shut the Dark One away from the world. The plan was considered risky due to the Dark One's influence on the immediate area surrounding Shayol Ghul, with Lews Therin admitting that he expected few or perhaps none of his "raiding party" (of twenty thousand soldiers and 13 Aes Sedai) would survive. Additionally, there was a concern that if the seals were not placed in precisely the right locations, the strain of them would rip open the Bore entirely and free the Dark One.

The other plan, in opposition to this, was proposed by Latra Posae Decume. Her plan was to use two massive sa'angreal (the ones that Rand ended up using during the cleansing of saidin) to push the Shadow's forces back and erect a barrier around Shayol Ghul until... you know, they figured something better out. Downsides to this plan: the Bore has kept getting bigger since it was first drilled, so it might continue to do so behind this barrier as well, and if the Dark One got loose inside the barrier, the barrier itself might come undone under the strain.

Latra and Lews were both, apparently, very convincing speakers, with Latra getting every female Aes Sedai "of significant strength" to sign what the manuscript calls "the Fateful Accord" though Jorille doubts that's what it was called at the time. I wonder if the 'strength level' was "Nynaeve-level" or if it was lower and more like "Egwene/Elayne-level". It was believed that the signing of this accord killed Lews Therin's plan in the water, because "men cannot create a circle, only be brought into one created by a woman".

Work on the massive sa'angreal was rushed into production. There is, Jorille says, a lot of speculation among historians about whether or not the sa'angreal would have worked as Latra had proposed. She also mentions speculation about whether or not women going with Lews Therin into his plan would have protected saidin from the taint or if it would have only meant that saidar was tainted as well.

But disaster struck as the sa'angreal were completed. The place where the access ter'angreal were created (needing to be done remotely due to "uncontrolled resonances during the finale stages" -- Jorille doesn't know what that might mean, but I'm guessing it would mean feedback leading to a big boom) was overrun by Sammael and the forces of the Shadow, though they did not find the access ter'angreal.

With the sa'angreal unusable, Lews Therin argued again for his plan but Latra wouldn't budge. As time had passed, even more of the female Aes Sedai had pledged to the Accord, even though they weren't strong enough to be part of the circle anyway. "Tempers and passions rose, and an apparently unprecedented division along male-female lines began to develop among the Aes Sedai in general, if not within the Hall itself". The Hall decided to stay with Latra's plan, attempting to smuggle the access ter'angreal out of the area now controlled by Sammael.

Jorille notes that all those making the attempt to find the access ter'angreal were later found out to have been captured, tortured, and killed, though none of them betrayed the location of the ter'angreal to Sammael.

As the Shadow swept forward, there was the "re-emergence of the peace faction" who argued that negotiations should be held with the Forsaken. Jorille notes that this peace faction, over the course of the War, would send people on its own to try to negotiate with the Forsaken but, upon the return of the delegations, they would act out plans that aided the Shadow's cause "though it seems that in some instances, they were completely unaware of what they had done" (aka Compulsion).

Despite how dire the situation had grown, Latra's resistance to Lews Therin's plan held firm. "the lines of division had hardened to a point where many female Aes Sedai refused to speak to male Aes Sedai, and the reverse as well". Lews Therin decides to act on his own, without the Hall.

Jorille notes at this point that Latra had earned the name Shadar Nor, translated as "Cutter/Slicer of the Shadow" but what deeds earned her that title have been lost to history.

So, Lews Therin launches his own assault against Shayol Ghul, with the "Hundred Companions" (though Jorille says that text notes they numbered 113 at this point) and ten thousand regular soldiers.

"Exactly what occurred that day can never be known, only the results. Of the soldiers, not a single man or woman returned to give any account." It is known that the seals were placed safely, that "all thirteen of the Forsaken" were at Shayol Ghul and trapped in the sealing along with the Dark One. If that had been the only result of the attack, then the world would likely have recovered well over the next few years, Jorille speculates. "Civilization has retained a large degreee of cohesion in the ares held by the Light" and without the top generals, the armies of the Shadow fell into struggles for power among themselves. "In any case, the War of the Shadow must be said to have ended that day at Shayol Ghul."

But, Jorille adds, this was not the only result of the assault. "Instead, there was the counterstroke from the Dark One at the moment of sealing, and saidin itself was tainted." Lews Therin and his companions "went insane on the instant" and by the time the taint was discovered, hundreds more male Aes Sedai had been driven mad by the taint. "That fateful day at Shayol Ghul ended the war, and began the Breaking of the World."

She says that the manuscript itself, in its own introduction, speaks for what the people at the time were suffering: "Whoever reads this, if any remain to read it, weep for us who have no more tears. Pray for us who are damned alive."

Very informative and pretty evocative as well. One of the things that I love about WoT is the post-apocalyptic setting and one of the things that I love about that setting is learning about the world before and during the world-breaking event (one of the reasons I also love the Horizon Zero Dawn games).

I have no clue why I didn't read that back when it was first published. It's great and it's pretty short. Though I realize that a lot of that information had kinda filtered into my world-knowledge already, lol.

My personal ranklist for the WoT books:

The Fires of Heaven (😍)

The Shadow Rising (😘)

The Dragon Reborn (😘)

The Path of Daggers (😘)

New Spring (😘)

The Great Hunt (😄)

The Gathering Storm (😄)

Lord of Chaos (😄)

The Eye of the World (😄)

A Memory of Light (🙂)

Towers of Midnight (🙂)

A Crown of Swords (🙂)

Winter’s Heart (🙂)

...

...

...

...

...

Crossroads of Twilight (😒)

Knife of Dreams (😒)

While I am glad that I did a full reread this time, there are definitely parts of the books that mostly frustrated me and I'll probably just skim past them in future rereads (I suspect I will want to do at least some rereading after S2 airs) -- I'm not sure if I'll ever reread Mat & Perrin's sections of CoT & KoD again. That's essentially the heart of the Slog right there.

Some things that definitely changed for me during this reread:

a. I noticed how much shipping material there is for Cauthor as a pairing (obviously this is mostly in the first five books but there are crumbs even after they separate). Very exciting to me! I didn't go into my reread expecting much, because fanon had definitely affected my memories of Cauthor and I was assuming that their friendship permanently broke in TGH after Mat found out that Rand could channel. Very untrue! I (and many of the other readers, I must assume) was just too young to pick up on all of Mat's subtext back when I first read the books.

b. Gawyn's stock massively rose for me. One of the best points that @markantonys made to me about Gawyn is how similar his 'coping with trauma' behavior is from the outside to Rand's is -- we just spend so much more time in Rand's head that we understand him and his choices better than Gawyn's. And I think that the TV show bears that out a lot because show!Rand got a lot of the same complaints thrown at him as book!Gawyn does. I gained a lot of sympathy for Gawyn over the course of this reread.

c. Min's stock, on the other hand, massively fell. I remembered her as my least favorite of Rand's romances but was still fond of her, but wow, my reread burned away so much of that fondness. Which is kinda a shame, because now it's going to be a genuine effort to make sure that I don't hold the sins of book!Min against show!Min, whereas before I did my reread, I was liking show!Min a lot. But between her (admitted to in her own PoV!) manipulation of Rand to get him to fall in love with (the invented version of) her, the way she acts in their relationship (to pick a few things: trying to force him to be jealous because she thinks it makes the sex hotter; threatening him with knives; reading his mail and trying to burn it before he gets the chance to read it himself; punching him hard enough to make him grunt), and the way she changes herself to suit the person she believes she needs to be to get and keep Rand's attention... it's just yikes all over. She's not my least favorite character in the books, but she's definitely the character who fell the furthest down on my list after my reread.

d. While I didn't like Tuon any better in this reread, Sanderson does set up the Mat & Tuon relationship to be much less.... character-breaking for Mat than it was in CoT & KoD. Mat's brain starts working again around Tuon in AMoL and she actually experiences some minor consequences for her actions, it seems like, instead of just skating through everything on brainwashed autopilot like she did in the Jordan books. I actually feel like the Mat in AMoL is prepared to Do Something about the Seanchan Empire and slavery, while it felt like CoT & KoD Mat would have just rolled over and let Tuon do whatever she wanted because (much like Min) he'd given up his morals and personality for the sake of his prophesied romance.

e. I was able to really parse through and see what I liked and disliked about some of the 'plot shortcuts' that Jordan used -- the ta'veren shortcut of coincidences is mostly fun, because it forces the plot to happen when the main characters are there but gives an explanation for it, but it also affects random things (like people falling off buildings or the rate of weddings in a town), but wow did I dislike some of the heavy-handed romance prophecies and how they mostly seemed to be used to bypass crucial relationship development (especially in Rand/Min and Mat/Tuon).

f. There are also the two major Mat-related plotholes I noticed that still bug me so much, even now, one during Jordan-era and one during Sanderson-era:

Everyone's vow of silence about Mat being trapped in Ebou Dar (Nynaeve is the worst offender because she spends weeks/months with Rand and never bothers to tell him that his best friend was left behind in enemy territory).

Mat's magical teleportation to Ebou Dar at the start of AMoL that completely breaks the logistics of the narrative.

Both in clumsy service of attaching Mat to the Seanchan storyline At All Costs (Even Logic), which really does stand out to me as the worst plot choice that Jordan locked himself into way too early on via prophecy and then didn't know how to handle when it actually showed up on the page.

[adamantine]

Thoughts on worldbuilding and setting, a compilation

Publishing a first novel, perhaps especially when it feels like the culmination of a long road, is certainly apocalyptic, in both senses: it reveals and it destroys, though the object of either verb remains indistinct. Something has been brought up from the depths. The water sluices away as it breaks the surface, but like in a dream, you cannot quite make out—it’s almost familiar, it’s on the tip of your tongue—but the shape is still murky, though you know what, now that you stare at it, it’s just like—and anyway, there is also the destruction, the sense that you know, though you cannot look around to see (in the dream you are quite unable to turn your head, it being not a pellucid dream but an illucid one, where of course you do know you are dreaming, are you not so very self-aware and politically au courant? But also, and this is important, that you are not) that all around you, not quite seen but known, are ruins. No apocalypse is merely personal, in that you are a cupful of seawater who takes the shape of your container, and its microplastics are yours. Are you in the water, or on a shore? Dreams are so maddeningly vague. These are not unbuilt worlds. Why, these are not worlds at all, only words, nothing but a pack of cards. 

From my essay, “Discantus/Desanctif.”

Sometimes I reread myself to just to remember what I've thought, especially the gnarlier bits.

This question of “worlds” is important to me, since I am naturally constantly accused of worldbuilding, though I follow the New Wave in opposing it as a practice and a belief system. This essay, “The Lone and Level Sands,” talks about Sanderson and Tolkien as worldbuilding's proponents, and the responses made by Moorcock and Harrison. From the essay:

Worldbuilding as a totalizing project cannot help but fail. My feeling is that “suspension of disbelief” and “secondary world” were not helpful ways to think about what is actually happening when we read a text, and yet they are tropes so influential and well-established that many of us take them as givens, as expectations of how we should read and what a fantastical text is supposedly doing.

For me this extends further into thinking not about worlds but about setting and place. In “The Traitor's Text” I wrote about empire, canon, orientalism, and authenticity variously trouble the ways we write about place.

I think a good rule of thumb to distinguish between (sometimes superficially similar) practices of working with setting is to ask: how much of it is on the page vs. off, and how much of what's off the page is the unconsidered inheritance of the undead empire? Beware, we were all born tainted with the pale magic.

[tortoisebore]

fav wolfstar fics?? yes i’m looking for new reccs and i’m also rlly curious

omgggg i have so many how can i chooseee 🫢 i feel like a lot of these are staples so you might’ve already read them but here are my all time favs (in no particular order except Blends/Names is absolutely my #1)

Blends (and the WIP sequel Names) by rvltn909

ugh such an OG & one of the first wolfstar fics i remember reading!! one thing ab me is i’m going to absolutely devour a coffee shop AU. throw in a university AU on top of it?? bitch i’m seated. because this was my first wolfstar fic i feel like these characterizations are the blueprint, every other remus & sirius are knockoffs of these two. this remus is just like me fr i love him & his stupid little angry self-loathing anxious brain so bad. also the sirius POV in Names is to die for, mans just won’t stop talking i love him sm

A Black Mass Over Highway Ninety by greenvlvetcouch

oh my GOD i subscribed to this one when green posted like chapter four?? or five?? and legitimately screamed my head off every time i got the emails. like i was blowing off work and reading ao3 on the job when this shit updated. i love toxic codependent wolfstar so bad i ate this up like a dying man i’m so serious i’ve already reread it once since it was completed like two weeks ago lmfao, every new thing green posts i make it my new religion

Impossible Things by accioromulus

this one ojhmygod i feel like i reread it about once every three months. they are so 🤲 jdhffhfh god i love losers who pine so bad they feel on the verge of death

Beneath a Big Blue Sky by eyra

i reread this like??? once every two months??? everything eyra writes is in my bookmarks bc i love their work so so much but this one in particular gets lodged in my brain so bad omfg. this remus is my sweet precious grumpy little angel and this sirius is so sweet and soft and caring he makes me cry?? Hollow Places is my other fav from this author, their writing style just makes my brain buzz in the best way, they are a huge huge inspo for me

Hard to Find by accioromulus

another one of the first i remember reading! little summer road trip with a big ole side of pining and yearning and sharing a lil couch to sleep?? yes please. the banter between the four boys is my favvvv in this one, they are so stupid and dumb i love them

LIEBESTRAUMMMM OH MY GOD by lunchbucket

there are exactly two (2) exes getting back together fics i can stomach and this is one of them. this remus & me are the same person i think, reading his journey throughout this fic was sort of healing in a way?? i initially started it bc i’ve played piano my entire life and love a lil music AU moment, but this fic genuinely revived my love for classical music and liszt’s compositions in particular. it is a masterpiece

Staying Strangers by 3amAndCounting

i am not kidding i’ve been subscribed to this fic since like??? the 10th chapter? i pride myself in having been on board w this one before everyone else lmfao. this is literally the only ‘texting fic’ i’ve genuinely loved, these characterizations are so sweet and perfect and i will protect this sirius w my entire life 🤺

This Is Not Your Year by montparnasse

i think this is the only canon-compliant in my entire ao3 bookmarks bc i enjoy being delusional and i require a happy ending or i will d*e. however comma, i cannot overstate how much i LOVE this one. this writing is absolutely devastating oh my god i’m not an angst person (re: delusional) and this one is so angsty but ugjshfjffj it’s so gritty and real and raw and it makes my heart ACHE for them

note: i am about to embark on a journey and start crimson rivers. i’ve avoided it since like last summer bc i wanted to wait until it was completed but then it turned into a 700k beast, so here we are. i am not (!!!!) a jegulus person but what i’ve seen of this fic is so so good so i’m going to do it for the wolfstar & bc i’m a hunger games stan

tyyy for the ask!! i always love reading other people’s recs but i’ve never made a list myself, this was very fun

[steelycunt]

ten books 2 know me!

thank for you the tag @pancakehouse @fruity-individual @serethereal @rollercoasterwords !

-> skulduggery pleasant, derek landy.

starting with this one because this WAS my childhood i was. i never read percy jackson never read twilight read [redacted] and it wasnt even good but my dad thought id like these so he bought me the first skulduggery pleasant one day...oh man oh boy...these were. i was eight queuing up outside a whsmith with a schoolbag full of books for the author's booksigning...also he was so nice ta derek x

-> giovanni's room, james baldwin.

cannot get into this too much before i start wailing and biting and stuff but well. giovanni's room is my favourite book of all time i read most of it. last year in june laying on brighton beach while the sun was going down and i have never recovered from and will you bring me home again / yes. i'll bring you home again since and fear i never will. also! first james baldwin book i read who has come to be an author whose writing style i adore and carry in my mind whenever i try to write something myself.

-> young mungo, douglas stuart.

not the first book i ever cried at but. first book i ever experienced disgusting full body sobs while reading and fierce competitor also for. my favourite book. had to reread so much of those final pages because i couldnt concentrate with all the crying and after that i am so excited to never have to experience the physical chest-aching worry that i did for the duration of reading this. also i think the very quiet way love is written here through. very trivial small things is something i loved very much and that has stayed with me!

-> wuthering heights, emily bronte.

read this when i was about eleven, and then again a few weeks ago with my mum (whose favourite book it is) and it was still so. absolutely sickening i just think its excellent xx and without it we wouldn't have kate bush's 1978 single wuthering heights so xx think on that xx

-> the autobiography of malcom x, alex haley.

when i was a child my younger sister joined a sunday league football team and my dad used to give her a tenner every time she scored a goal. to even things out since i refused to get up at the arsecrack of dawn to contract hypothermia on a frozen football pitch, he started giving me books exclusively on malcolm x to read and would give me a tenner every time i finished one. this one was the first i read and was indeed the first book that ever made me cry at the end xx

-> my brilliant friend, elena ferrante.

so many of these are recent reads because it was only jan 2022 that i made a genuine effort to get back into reading for leisure and mbf is no different but well. the way friendship is written here is just unhinged and incredible and the series in general so far has been. there is nothing like it i fear

-> the raven boys, maggie steifvater.

gansey unfortunately.

-> macbeth, william shakespeare.

okay i know i know but. when you are studying it in englit class for your gcse it might as well be a book innit. anyway of all the texts i did for english both at gcse + a level macbeth is still my favourite and probably the most effort i ever put into an english essay. special shoutout to frankenstein which i can enjoy in hindsight but unfortunately it fucked me on the exam so out of bitterness it doesnt get a place here x

-> the secret history, donna tartt.

i did inhale this book but also it gets a place purely for being my first exposure to donna tartt's writing and style in general which is so very distinctive and has. undoubtedly had an effect on me for better or for worse we shall one day see but for now. who can say!

-> foster, claire keegan.

it is a little pamphlet of a book at eighty six pages but. i read it just over a month ago and havent properly stopped thinking about it since it was just everything quiet + mundane + understated that makes my brain start sparking and whirring and. im bringing it on holiday in the summer so i can read it again in the appropriate season xx

tagging. but no pressure. @gaewaren @dykefever @emerqldv @fastasyoucan1999 @forlorngarden @writteninverses @boyjoan !!

[catty-words]

finally back home from my family's and ready to put last year to rest with the

2023 fic writing roundup

Total 2023 Word Count: 95,451 published words, but 116,360 words written for the year   Total 2023 Hits: 25,513 Other 2023 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,272; Comment threads: 198; Bookmarks: 252; Subscriptions: 158.

Total 2022 Word Count: 36,969 published words, but 132,549 words logged for the year Total 2022 Hits: 17,797 Other 2022 AO3 Stats: Kudos: 1,910; Comment threads: 111; Bookmarks: 259; Subscriptions: 20.

links and titles to 2023 works

[cw's nancy drew] couldn't help noticing the gold mines glistening in your skin (3,966 words) - a birthday gift for bethany! what if nancy and ace hooked up pre-canon?

[never have i ever] one more last try (4,323 words) - for the girlies* who were/are incensed that the nhie writers had the audacity to make bad benvi sex canon and then UNINTERESTING. *it's me, i'm girlies

[cw's nancy drew] first contact (849 words) - nancy and ace texting can be poetry if you hold my hand and just believe!

[never have i ever] answering machines & how your voice says it’s gonna get back to me someday (3,163 words) - devi and ben's relationship through their first year at university as told by the voicemails they leave each other

[never have i ever] a lie away from getting you into the mood (77,482 words) - i mean. how could i possibly sum this one up? d/b FWB, sure, but also so much more than that. bitty spark 'verse pt 2.

[never have i ever] to nestle deep into the safe-keeping (3,440 words) - in a now time-honored tradition, i wrote rose some smut for her birthday! d/b being soft and in love their first year of university.

[cw's nancy drew] it’ll hurt like a mother when your foot comes out (2,228 words) - drew crew hike to commemorate a real life hike! fun!

Favorite Fic: 'gold mines' is a strong contender, but. you know it's 'lie away'. how could it be anything else? i spent a year and a half writing it and i finished the fuck out of it despite the tornado that stirred up my personal life this year. i don't know that i've ever been prouder of a fic. almost certainly not.

Hardest Fic: also 'a lie away'. the amount of material that i wrote and then scrapped because it wasn't right was A Lot.

Do You Plan to Take Prompts in 2024? haven't done a prompt game in a while! think it might be time to pull out that song lyric one, i've been gifted some exceptional music that way.

that said, though, when i do have all day to sit down and write, i've found myself more interested in chipping away at something longer-form. then again, it's been a while since i exercised the prompt-filling muscle in my writer brain, and i don't want that muscle to lose definition entirely. we'll see, i suppose.

What was the best thing about 2023? I FUCKING FINISHED 'A LIE AWAY' I DID IT I DID IT I DID IT

What was the worst thing about 2022? woof. i sure did split from my partner of a decade. which has actually been incredibly good for me, but living through it was a bit fucky, as you can imagine.

which makes this a great time to nod at 'answering machines' for being perfect creative fun and getting me out of my head during the worst of the breakup. looking at the title alone can make my brain stutter, though, it's a time capsule from such a tumultuous period in my life. probably doesn't help that i used a song from my unofficial breakup album to title the fic. i love you, 'answering machines'. i cannot fathom rereading you at this time.

Any last thoughts for 2023? i am content. the year was good to me, all things considered.

Goals for 2024

fuck around with devi the vampire slayer

original fiction???

fall head over heels for another show

continue writing devi/ben even if the audience for it dissipates entirely

[rose-tinted-kalopsia]

The yapping anon is back to yap some more about LUKE AND KIERAN BECAUSE AAAAAAAAH I'll give you a seatbelt because boy I don't know how long this one will turn out... Once again I apologize in advance aaldjksj this is actually my 2nd time writing it because tumblr app decides to wiped my first text vomit

LIKE. You don't know how MUCH I reread the fic multiple times after I send the ask up until NOW. Either reading my favorite scenes, reading the particular scene I was craving to reread, or simply reread the whole thing fully again and again! You got me stuck on a brainrot and I won't have it any other way.

THE WHOLE THING IS JUST SO GOOD.... I somehow use Kieran's dialogues as a divider of how it is organized scene by scene in my head, and... Personally, I don't know what about it but "Later. Later. I'm not done with you. Just— shit. Just be quiet." GETS ME EVERYTIME. IT IS SIMPLY THE PART I KEPT REPEATING THE MOST BECAUSE--- AAAAH?? I DON'T KNOW. THE DESPERATION AND URGENCY IN THAT SINGLE LINE GOT ME FEELING SO MANY THINGS EVERY SINGLE TIME AAAAA. AND THE GOOD GIRL PRAISE BEFORE THAT?? I'M WEAK. ALSO THE UNCHARACTERISTIC BEGGING?? AAH!!! ALSO THE AMOUNT OF FRUSTRATION ON THE NEXT SHIT FUCK IT'S SO HOT!!! AND THEN!!! THEN!!! THE ABSOLUTE BURNING DESIRE THAT HE STILL TRIES TO DENIES AS HE SHAKES HIS HEAD AND CHANTING CAN'T WHILE HE KISS US BREATHLESS ALSJALDJSJSJS The way he crumbles afterward, the wall he kept beyond the reach of the mask as he finally breaks down crying!!! I'm sorry Kieran but the part you cried might possibly be my most favorite part- I love the vulnerability of it so so much. Those chants of I can't.... sigh. And don't get me started with the confession that's so soft... I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I've said it in my initial ask and I'll say it again I'M SO HAPPY HE SAYS IT FIRSTTTT I FEEL LIKE THE ORDER OF THE CONFESSION MEANT SOOOO MUCH.

But I also can't get enough of rereading the rules- those descriptions when he knew, and we know he knows. The moments dancing in a thin line!! And the flashback of the first time aaaaaah I really love the part he gives us the choice, taunting us, and then moves so swiftly and quickly to make us come undone like AAH THE CASUAL PETNAMES DROPPPP the authority in his words!! I love the descriptions of the less intimate stuff of his actions that feel like it means something and it is something. You wrap up the canon interaction and lace it up into beautiful description sobs I also love the casual nonchalant of the beginning part and how soft and gentle vulnerable moments slips in at the end ALL IN ALL I JUST WANNA SAY I TRULY LOVE EVERY SINGLE PART OF THIS FIC AND I MIGHT BE REPEATING MYSELF A LOT BUT AAAAAAAH I really can't have enough rereading and gushing about it!!

Also YES!!! Initially, I don't have any thoughts about the twins face, I was satisfied with them faceless behind that mask because they're absolutely handsome and stunning as it is, but GOSH your fic made me finally depict a face for him and essentially them!! Thanks to your fic I now have my own headcanon of their face and I just want to smush that face and pepper kisses all over them GRRR *hisses in cute aggression* I know that descripting something that instead can't be described is a MASSIVE challenge and definitely difficult, that's why I want to compliment you specifically on it in the initial ask! I appreciate so much how it basically gives us freedom to imagine what kind of face is behind that mask, and yet give us(well at least in my case this is absolutely truth:) enough stimulation to explore our own imagination of how the face behind it is. You did an incredible job aaaaaaaaah I cannot put enough compliments into words ;;

AND AAAAAAAAAAH??? THE DRAFT???? OH GOSH THE DRAFT!!!! I WOULD D E V O U R THAT. You got me whipped with Kieran, if Luke were to actually appear in the fic I would be IN SHAMBLES 😭 I WOULD READ THAT NO MATTER HOW LITTLE OR HOW LONG IT IS... I'LL LIVE FOR IT... (Not being actual pressure for you to write it, of course! I'm just fangirling) I love how the fic ended up focusing fully on Kieran but that scene would've tied out the missing pieces so well!!! I'll love it either way sobs

AND YES I REALLY LOVE HOW HE'S THE YOUNGER OF THE TWO!!! ;; I'm usually attracted to the chatty one rather than the quiet one, and I tend to go with the older than the younger one but for Kieran he's just bulldozing his way into my heart with a banner that says "THIS USER IS A LUKE AND KIERAN TRUTHER" and I'm all in for it

Is it now the time for me to says after I read the fic for the first time I decided to dug your entire #(this user is a luke and kieran truther) tag and have seen that, along with the other character analysis, all the little asks about them, along with everything else in between??? 🥺🥺 Also my initial bias is also Xavier!! So I feel you so much, the difference is Sylus AND his henchmen hit me like a truck and made me lose my single bias title....

While on this topic I actually have a question! Has the story so far ever mentioned we've seen the twins' face behind the mask? IF YES, WHERE WAS IT WRITTEN??? I NEED IT. This obsession is making me this 🤏 close to just compile recording of every single of the twins appearance in the main story and the bond and cards... But that'll probably need to wait for me to actually finish up reading all Sylus' card.

You also got me hooked on DLMLU and I Like it!! I'm seeing your masterlist and I respectfully awaits the day you finish Luke's I Like It fic.... 👀 I was actually a cle era stay, so hearing their songs again lately has been nostalgic to me! Hyunjin did great on emphasizing the desperation and denial and the concealed sadness on DLMLU and I live for Seungmin's I Like It intro..... And I do feel like that intro describes the twins perfectly!!!

I LIVE and LOVE to devour any little bits of crumbs of a whole cookie you have and will drop about the twins... I'm so gonna inhale all of it please do keep gushing out for the twins know that I support you fully(no actual pressure and expectations here, please just be yourselves!) I love the headcanon about Kieran being taller!! He definitely gives the tall vibe, though honestly either of them will tower us so there's barely any difference haha

And about Luke and Kieran POV!! I am one of those people who prefer the 2nd POV on these types of self insert scenarios BUT I'M A TOTAL SUCKER FOR THE POV OF THE GUY IN THE STORY.... I'm DEFINITELY very interested if you ever make one!! One of the many things I really love about the fic is the instances where we knows when he knows. But I can't help but be giddy to imagine if there's snippets of how the twins actually feel in those situations!! Since there's a difference in assuming and guessing and understanding the other party and actually reading something precisely of what running through the other party's mind! I guess it's kind of the crave like wanting to hear telepathically what exactly they're thinking? They conceal so much and I'm sure there's millions of thoughts running through their head despite their aloof appearance and I feel like you could DEFINITELY nail the description of it! Of course again, disclaimer, this is all meant to be more for a compliment rather than a request! Please do whatever you'd like to do, I'm all in for anything you so graciously provide for free on this internet!!

All in all I'm just really happy and delighted about everything!! Thank you so much!!!

WAIT OMG 😭 this got buried in my inbox i'm sososo sorry for getting to this late 😭😭🤲🤲🤲

ANONIEEEEE it's so nice to hear from you again omg 🥺 this got me feeling all soft and fuzzy again this morning!!!!!! you're so so so so sweet oh my gosh like i'm just. so happy reading all this, and knowing i have you dragged down the luke and kieran brainrot with me 🤭🤭🤭

and like, i actually really really REALLY love finding situations to push characters to act uncharacteristic of themselves, because to me that means that situation means so much to them that they break character, and it's SO fun to write, just as much as me reading them!! i'm so glad you love those parts, because they're my favorites too 😭🤍

ALSO—it's actually?! surprisingly canon that mc has seen their faces and i know technically we're mc BUT I'M LIKE. SO JEALOUS OF HER. LMFAOFJSJJGBS the first time we talk to the twins (when mc wakes up!), she describes seeing their facial expressions and such! she doesn't narrate/describe facial features, so we don't know how they look like... but there's subtle implications that she does know, because she wouldn't have narrated that way if they were wearing their masks!

i meed a luke and kieran face reveal so badly...

(ALSO YOU'RE A STAY?!!?!?! OH MY GOD. I KIND OF LOVE YOU EVEN MORE RN WAAAHHH?!?!?!!!!!! ALWAYS SO SO HAPPY TO SEE STAYS IN MY INBOX IM GIVING YOU THE BIGGEST HUG EVER)

[hannie-dul-set]

heyyy

just read the breakup song and MAN😩😩. i'm in AWE with ur writing plsss it is illegal to be this good at it. writing smth svt related on tumblr was always on the back of mind but after reading ur fic, i sat down and started writing for god knows how long. i think i've found my element and its all thanks to u. the way u progressed through the story and the little bits that we saw about all characters gave the story so much dimension.. i finished it yesterday and still find myself going to reread it.. especially the intro meeting scene *mwah* i said the same thing under the post but im gonna say it again, THIS NEEDS TO BE A SHOW! i can see all of it playing out

also i wanted to ask u if u have any tips for very very newbie writers on here, especially svt content. like i said u inspired to start writing but find myself very confused at times, on making it look good and being able to reach many people

idk if ur still here but i wanted to say that i love u and ur writing and i'm in desperate need of more svt fics from u (wouldn't mind a reader or jeonghan pov of the closet scene iykwim) 💟💟💟💌

much love, love

HDHSHSJS THANK U FOR READING!!!!!

i don’t think i’m the best person to ask for advice from when it comes to writing on tumblr because i’m not on here frequently anymore 😭😭😭 and most of the time i just post whatever insanity my brain has conjured, which more often than not does fit within the standards of the kind of content that blows up on here (ahem, plotless smut, ahem). HOWEVER!!! if there’s anything specific you’d like to know/learn about fanfic writing and posting, i will try my best to help!!!

in terms of making fics look good n pretty, it’s always advisable to create a header that matches the vibe of the overall fic HAHAHHA the standard header formula on tumblr dot com is idol image + text (but as u can see.....i like to break that formula HAHAHAHAH) and make sure to use the appropriately spacings for ur text!!!

again, if there are any specifics that you'd like to get advice abt, feel free to ask more!! (with regards to reaching many people, i cannot impart any wisdom on that 😭😭 my fics generally do well because the following i've accumulated over the years even though most of the things i write don't pander to the general tumblr audience HAHAHAHAH i don't want to ruin ur creativity either by advising to write something that panders to that audience 😔😔).

anyway!!! thank u sm for the compliments!!! lovelots!!!!

[eyeonyou]

The great tragedy of my fanfiction WIPs is the time I started writing a very expansive and elaborate Hogwarts AU of Homestuck and got roughly 15k words in before remembering I really don’t want to be associated with That Fucking Author.

That being said, I spent a stupid amount of time rereading Doc Scatch’s dialogues to write the intro, so I’m excerpting it below. Vindicate my suffering, I beg of you - and weep, all ye who read, for what could have been.

(Except TERFS, who should not bother interacting at all. It will be unpleasant for all involved).

[o]Sorting hat => introduce yourself

I am what you, dear reader, might recognise as the SORTING HAT.

Crisp-white and dapper despite my immense age, I am nonetheless made of an unpleasantly frictive cloth - one might say SCRATCHY, hoo hoo. When it comes to CATEGORISING STUDENTS, I could be considered a professional. My unique talents in LEGILIMENCY and OMNISCIENCE make me an ideal candidate for the role of excavating these children’s minds, rather like a muggle psychiatrist. In fact, if one were feeling gregarious, they might might call me a DOCTOR, hee hee.

I will now explain the joke. My use of ‘DOCTOR’ and ‘SCRATCHY’ closely parallels my appellation in alternate worlds. I am aware of this, although you may not be. It’s hardly your fault, reader; for you are not DOC SCRATCH, and thus lack omniscience.

Continuing onwards. I am a gentleman, although I have a tendency to RATTLE ON. Ho ho. Anyhow, when it comes to my SCHOLASTIC DUTY, I show remarkable talent in observing the ASPECTS of each child I meet, hee hee, although I find myself with significantly less choice than I am accustomed to. A decrease of 33.3%, to be precise.

In the immortal words of one Carl Kinsella, HIVEWARTS largely operates with four categories of children: ‘brave, smart, evil and miscellaneous.’ This is amusing, as the original premise this fiction is based on showed clear faults in its depictions of academia, esteemed reader. I do not endorse this claims, although I will allow myself a genteel chuckle, for I am a courteous hat.

Because of my incomparable knowledge, I have much to say on the fascinating, arbitrary divisions the Wizarding World in these tales suffers. Does the vilification of Slytherin house not show a larger cultural fear of ambition and cunning amongst you? The answer, of course, is yes. In fact, the…

[read more]

Ah, you’ve put a [read more] bracket in, presumably in despair of my lengthy dissection of the HIVEWARTS houses. This is unnecessary; even as I detailed the minutiae of each category, I was aware of this plan, and so have removed it all from the text. If you doubt me - which I cannot advise - do click that bracket. It will not work, and all you’ve done is create a lengthy aside of little relevance to the average reader, which was, of course, what you sought to prevent.

The limits of your wisdom must be frustrating. From my near-limitless comprehension, I can observe your lack thereof: ignorant to the past, to the present, and to the future. Fear not, for I will dole sweet morsels of knowledge to you like candy from a bowl - but as for the conclusion of this tale? The shifting tide of growth, the tangled webs of friendships, the looming shadow of a familiar foe? Well, reader, you know nothing of that. And I am far too wise to spoil it for you.

For all your naivety, there are certain factoids you are aware of. For example, at this point, you might suggest I should really be singing an introduction to a cluster of just-germinated seeds, rather than elegantly chronicling my own musings. This is foolish of you, although understandable; for I am the HIVEWARTS hat, and multitasking is close amongst my face-up cards. Were you of my calibre, you would already be aware of my song, but you ultimately refused yourself that experience when you truncated my speech above.

Fortunately, I already knew this would happen, and so put very little effort into the song. My talent in that area could be pronounced lacking, which you might attribute to my corporeal vessel of felt. Aha, reader, for you have forgotten - my very essence is fabric and felt, whether I be cue or cap. I am changeless in that regard. And, of all the things I am, a singer is not one of them, although on occasion I will engage in a recreational round of fiddle. Hoo hoo, hee hee!

This, reader, is entertaining due to my status as a ‘devil’ allegory. The Devil is commonly associated with fiddling, although my talent is such that a loss to ‘Johnny’ is incredibly unlikely. Nonexistent, in fact.

In fact is the category I stay firmly planted in, it should be said. To you, who has come expecting epics of fantasy and intrigue - which, fear not, shall unspool deliciously - you may assume that my words are of speculation, or prophecy. This is incorrect. Divination is not, as they say, ‘my bag’; I deal with truth, truth that has yet to unfold - and yet, as I am saying this, it has! Just not for you, reader. You, I’m afraid, will just have to pace yourself.

Stuffing yourself with candy, as we both know, only leads to regret.

Later, you will be - are - returning to these words, intrigued, then suspicious, and then likely with satisfaction. But do not forget, reader, that knowledge is infinite, and you have only ever a finite capacity for it.

Unfortunately, another quantity you have only a dwindling supply of is time. And your allotment for enlightenment is drawing to a close, for now, the sorting begins.

Hee hee!

(I also wrote 16 goddamn characters getting sorted with backstories and conversation with Scratch, and established the ancestors/guardians in the universe. Give me my time back, foolish me from a year ago).

[burningthetree]

Ooooooh for the Tea Writing Asks -- Ginger, Peppermint, and Earl Grey!

Cat <3 thank you for making me talk about my writing!! Much love to you mwah

ginger – most challenging part of my WIP

Either stringing the multiple POVs together to make one coherent story, or keeping track of where everyone is geographically & mentally. There is so much going on in my current sakuatsu fic that I have to keep track of it all on a map to not get lost myself, and it's a little overwhelming at times because I only have very limited time for it

peppermint – my favourite way to overcome writer's block

I like to go on a walk and step away from my laptop to think about where I want to go with my story. Usually, walking helps me clear my mind and get rid of the stress that piles up when I get stuck, and going outside almost always allows me to destress. Most often, this helps best when I'm stuck because of lack of motivation. If I'm stuck because I genuinely don't know what to write and I cannot figure out after mindmapping a bit, I try to switch POVs because that often helps get me out of a character's mindset and start anew. Sometimes, I also literally force myself to write one sentence at a time no matter how much I struggle with that, and while it is frustrating and aggravating, it often ends up being incredibly rewarding when I've managed to continue writing. If all of this fails, I resort to editing what has already been written. That helps refresh my memory and realise how much I've written already which usually inspires me to continue. Even if it doesn't end up inspiring me, I'll still have been productive without continuing the overall plot but by polishing the already existing text. And most important of all, I try not to beat myself up for being stuck but simply accept it, no matter how angry it might make me.

earl grey – favourite quote from my WIP

OOF. This is DIFFICULT. I have to go back and reread parts because I genuinely cannot think of one off the top of my head.

Nothing was a constant element in his life, but always fleeting and painfully ephemeral, no place on earth was destined to be his home, and as if no person on this planet was to become his friend, let alone his family.

I was too lazy to go through my WIP so I went through the comments instead. It just reflects the state of the world for many people and how precious memories are, but at the same time, how they are painful and difficult to cope with. Simultaneously, it shows the ties of being alone and wanting to be alone to avoid getting hurt whilst yearning for company and human companionship and, perhaps, love, whether it be platonic or romantic.