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aureatelys · 2 days ago

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lunch break

pairing: jesse/fem!reader genre: smut smut smut w.c.: 5.5k a/n: the first scene of 2x03 had me blacking out and then i wrote this in two days. this is my first time writing for jesse, pls be gentle and i hope you enjoy because i had so much fun writing this <3 ty for my dear lover for enabling me. you can also imagine either show or game jesse for this!

summary: You've been distracted by your boyfriend all morning. Jesse knows you better than you expected.

c.w.: 18+ MDNI, porn no plot, post 2x02 but joel lives (!), established relationship, jesse is sexy and reader is horny for his arms, oral sex (f receiving), brief fingering, unprotected p in v sex (lets pretend birth control exists ok), some fluff too i promise!

read below or on ao3 here <3

You’re starting to wonder if you’ve gone insane.

Jackson has been somber for the past several months—mourning all the losses after the walls were breached and focusing on rebuilding. The makeshift hospital was still as busy as ever, and every time word spread that another person had succumbed to their injuries, the weight that seemed to blanket over the town grew heavier, quieter.

Luckily, you hadn’t lost anybody you were particularly close with. Even then, you’re not sure if you would even have the time to mourn them with how hard the council was pushing any and all able-bodied people to help in the rebuild. Your body was sore and hands were covered in blisters as you helped carry logs of wood to the main street.

So, you’re not exactly sure why you’re about to start drooling, heart thudding in your chest and pulsing between your legs, as you watch Jesse lift a sledgehammer to pound a wooden pillar into the ground.

You stop in your tracks, arms aching despite the small bundle of wood you’re carrying, as you stare, absolutely transfixed.

Jesse always ran warm, warmer than you, so despite the chill in the spring air, he was wearing a short-sleeved shirt that showcased his broad shoulders and thick arms. You watch as his muscles bulge with every lift of the sledgehammer, the prominent veins running along his forearms drawing your attention. The buttons of his shirt were undone, providing you a delicious peak of his chest, as if he was teasing you.

Sweat was already starting to form along his hairline, causing a few strands to start sticking to his skin. His pants were tight, unfairly hugging his hips, his thick thighs straining through the fabric. If you strain your ears hard enough, now able to discern the low cadence of his voice through a crowd, you could detect the quiet grunts with every lift of the sledgehammer.

You blame the fact that you both have been too busy with the repairs and Jesse being added to the council for the way molten heat begins to pool at your core, fingers twitching with the rampant desire to get your hands on him.

The only time you’ve been able to spend with Jesse lately was when he would crawl into your bed late at night, usually when you were already asleep. Sometimes you were able to wake up before he had to leave and would only have time to press your face into his chest, inhaling and memorizing his clean scent. Other times he’d already be gone, leaving a short and concise note but with a crooked little heart next to his name.

So you’re a little sexually frustrated, okay?

“You alright?”

You startle out of your thoughts, tearing your gaze away from your boyfriend continuing to grunt extremely inappropriately, to Tommy sitting on the sidelines while he waited for his turn.

He’s watching you with a hint of a smirk tugging at his lips despite the weariness physically weighing on his shoulders.

Tommy’s nice, always has been, and seemed to be around you more lately after he found out you and Jesse were a thing. You’re not exactly sure why, but you had found yourself spending more time with him and Maria, Ellie, and even Joel. You were starting to feel like you had an actual group of people that cared about you.

His question seems to have caught Jesse’s attention. He stops working, resting the sledgehammer onto the ground and leaning against it, raising an eyebrow at you.

Jesse’s protective, always has been, but even moreso in the past several weeks. He says it’s because he knows you and how you’re a little reckless, impulsive, but you know that’s not entirely true.

You feel heat crawl up your neck at being caught ogling, and you don’t even bother to tiptoe around Tommy like you know other people have been doing after Joel’s near-death experience when you mutter a “shut up” and stalk away.

You hear Tommy laugh. The sound makes you smile, your shoulders loosening up because he’s been so stressed lately with the rebuild and worrying about Joel still in the hospital.

You ignore the weight of Jesse’s gaze digging into your back.

You’re unfortunately tasked with clearing out some additional rubble from a nearby building, which means your entire morning is spent with Jesse’s grunting and groaning within earshot as he worked only several feet away.

It’s a cruel form of torture, and you almost drop at least 2 pieces of concrete on your feet because you were too enraptured by the way you could see his muscles shift underneath his shirt.

By the time your group breaks for lunch, you’re shifting uncomfortably due to the wetness gathering in your panties and brushing against your thighs. The ache in your shoulders and hips pales in comparison to the ache in your core as Jesse sidles up next to you silently.

“Ready?” he asks, slightly out of breath and brushing his hair away from his forehead with his wrist. He’s so hot, it’s really unfair.

It was Jesse’s suggestion to take a lunch together whenever you could if he wasn’t busy. Your heart had thumped an erratic and concerning pace when he brought it up, his voice low and tinged with an endearing sort of bashfulness.

It had taken you awhile but you’ve come to find out that Jesse was more affectionate in private than in public. He liked to spend time with you, enjoyed being in your presence and sitting in silence. He didn’t have much dating experience besides Dina, who often took the reins in their relationship, so him making an effort to make time for you despite his busy schedule was new to the both of you.

“Yep,” you say, hoping he doesn’t notice the rasp in your voice, and steps in time with him as you head to your house only a couple blocks away.

Jesse has only been able to join you for lunch a handful of times, often having to give you a regretful smile before being pulled away for an emergency council meeting or to help another person on the other side of town. You didn’t mind, you knew he was busy, knew that this was what to be expected after he had told you that night that he was talking to Maria about being added to the council.

You admired him and his tenacity for wanting to help the people of Jackson. He was undoubtedly the most responsible person in your age group and it only made sense that he got added since he was friendly, even had a golden boy reputation.

You knew that he couldn’t talk about what happened during their meetings, even to you, and you honestly didn’t have much to talk about besides the fact that your neighbor’s dog slept on your porch last night.

So you two walked in comfortable silence, his bare arm brushing against your sleeve every few paces. Even through your multiple layers, the warmth of him still bled through the sweaters and was doing nothing to quell the building heat underneath your skin. The smell of him and his sweat, mixing with the smoky burning of wood nearby, was starting to make you feel faint.

By the time you two make it to your house, you were one second away from falling to your knees and scrambling to unbuckle his belt to tug his pants down and take him in your mouth.

It’s when the front door closes behind you when Jesse asks “You okay?”

You’re toeing off your boots and tugging off your jacket to throw over the rusty coatrack by the door before making your way to the kitchen, already preoccupied by trying to remember what sandwich ingredients you could scrounge together. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“You just seemed distracted today.”

You have no idea. “I’m just tired today.”

Jesse hums, and you think you’re off the hook and can focus on rushing to make a sandwich because Tommy does not give you guys enough time for lunch, when he’s suddenly pressing up against you, his large hands resting on your hips and mouth inches from your ear as he mutters “So that’s why you kept staring at me today? Because you were distracted?”

You huff out a laugh, setting down your butter knife, because you’re honestly not surprised. Jesse was possibly the most perceptive person you knew, of course he would notice that you were ogling him all morning. You knew at this point, there was no harm in hiding anymore.

You lean back into his chest, sturdy and warm, as he noses at the nape of your neck. “And what if I was?”

“Just making sure.” And then he’s spinning you around until the edge of the counter digs into the small of your back and pressing his mouth to yours.

He’s gentle, always gentle, his hands skimming up your sides reverently, as if worried you were about to disappear into thin air. His lips are unbearably soft, maybe a little chapped, as you kiss him back and part your lips with a sigh. He tastes like the stale coffee from this morning and it’s the best thing you’ve had all day.

You loop your arms around his broad shoulders, tugging him closer until the hard line of his body was pressed up against yours. You card your fingers through the tufts of hair at the nape of his neck, humming at the sensation of being trapped by his body, and experimentally tug.

Jesse lets out a low groan, muffled against your mouth, and then his large hands slide down to your ass to squeeze once before suddenly lifting you up.

You squeal against his lips, causing him to smile, and your legs instinctually come to wrap around his waist despite already being seated on the counter. The coldness seeping through your jeans shocks you and provides a delicious contrast with Jesse’s heated body against yours.

When you separate from each other, you’re panting into each other’s open mouths. Jesse leans his forehead against yours, hands on your thighs, and from this proximity, you’re mesmerized by the fan of his eyelashes against his cheekbones as he catches his breath and the way his hair tickled your face.

When he opens his eyes to peer into yours, your breath gets stuck in your throat along with something else you can’t name at his hungry gaze, eyes dark and pupils wide.

Jesse has always been able to say so much with just his eyes; a sharp warning that Maria was on her way to give you a stern talking to, warm fondness when you were telling him about what you bartered for today at the market, or primal desire whenever you stripped and crawled into bed with him.

“Are you okay with skipping lunch today?” he asks, voice a low timbre that sends a shiver running down your spine. His hands, rough with the day’s work, knead your thighs through your jeans, and the silent strength in his thick fingers and the flex of the muscles in his biceps has you licking your lips. You could feel the heat of his cock, hard and confined in his jeans, against your inner thigh.

“Are you going to eat something else?”

Jesse rolls his eyes, an exasperated smile tugging at his lips that he tries to hide. It has you beaming. He squeezes your inner thighs a bit harder, as if in a warning. “You’re unbelievable, you know that?”

“Yeah, but you love me,” you say, before you could think better of it.

It’s slight, but you can tell he pauses by the way his breath catches and his hands falter. A rush of panic rises up your throat and you say, as nonchalantly as you could, “As long as you sneak me something from the food hall later?”

You hope he can’t tell that you’re holding your breath, nearly praying that he doesn’t point out your slip up.

His eyes soften, causing a sudden weakness in your chest, before he’s reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. “Deal.”

You give him a shaky smile. You know he sees right through you.

But it doesn’t matter, because he’s leaning in to kiss you again, harder, rougher, as if he can’t find the words he wants to say and lets his desire for you to do the talking for him.

You melt into him, you always do, and when you press your palm against his chest to feel the steady rhythm of his heart, you’ve never felt so safe in your entire life.

“I guess we better hurry up then,” he whispers, giving you a slight smirk, before his hands expertly unbuttons your jeans, tugs down the zipper, and then helps you tug them down all the way off your legs.

You nod rapidly, causing him to chuckle breathily. You reach out for him to grab at his arms, pulling him in to kiss you again.

He obliges, because he always does when you peer up at him with glazed over eyes, as if he’s already fucked you.

You hum against his mouth, the ache in your pussy starting to become unbearable. You’re barely aware of his hands running down your bare thighs, causing goosebumps to rise, before he’s lifting your legs up by the knees to prop your feet up on the counter.

The new position has you spread open and exposed, dimly aware of the way you could feel your panties sticking to your pussy. You’re expecting him to rub his thick fingers alongside your seam through the fabric, coaxing a breathy whimper from your lips, before tugging it aside to thrust a finger inside of your soaking entrance.

You don’t expect him to pull away. You definitely don’t expect him to fall to his knees, face achingly close to your center, while his hands squeeze at the flesh of your thighs before prying them apart.

“Oh,” you exhale, eyes wide, as your hands scramble to the dull edge of the counter as your mind reels at the heady image of Jesse, sweet and courteous, on his knees. His face inches from your pussy.

“Fuck, baby, you’re already so wet,” he whispers, as if in awe. His right hand comes to trace the edge of your panties, a plain baby blue color, while he stares unblinkingly at the definite wet spot at the center.

“I was just kidding, you don’t actually have to—”

“I want to,” he says, and when he looks up at you, your chest aches at the tender affection clear on his face. “Is that okay?”

And it’s not like he hasn’t gone down on you before. In fact, it seems like he tries to eat you out any chance he got, which you were definitely not complaining about. You still shivered when you thought about the first time he ate you out, the first time you ever came from another man’s mouth on you, and how your thighs trembled as you squeezed around his head. You swear you had thought you died and gone to heaven.

Now, however…

“We’ve just had a long morning; you know I sweat a lot…” you trail off. It sounds weak, even to your own ears.

Another exasperated sigh, though this time Jesse doesn’t even bother hiding the fond smile. “You know I don’t care about that.”

But he waits. He stays on his knees, thumbs tracing comforting and distracting circles against your inner thighs, and he just waits. For your permission.

You don’t think your heart can swell any further before it’s bound to burst. “Okay.”

Jesse’s smile grows, making him look utterly sweet and boyish, before leaning in to press an open-mouthed kiss on your inner thigh, and then another, and then another.

“Don’t worry,” he mumbles, as his kisses begin moving inwards to your aching cunt.

You exhale unsteadily, thighs already starting to shake from holding this position and the sensation of his mouth on you. The scratch of his slightly chapped lips, the damp kisses he leaves that cool as soon as he moves to the next inch of skin, and his hands that have moved to your thighs and taking some of your weight, has you nearly begging for him to hurry up.

As if he can read your mind, he pauses, his mouth hovering over the crotch of your panties that have undoubtedly melded to your pussy.

“Besides,” Jesse whispers, and the barest brush of his lips against the fabric has you shivering. You resist the urge to card your fingers through his hair to tug his face closer. “I have to take care of my girl, right?”

And then he’s pressing his open mouth to your cunt, deliberately nowhere close to your clit, but the action still wretches a gasp out of you. His mouth and his breath are hot as he takes his time, as if warming you up despite the fact that you two do not have enough time for this.

But he just looks so pretty, you think as you glance down at him. His eyes were shut, savoring you, brow relaxed as if he wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world besides between your thighs.

“Jesse..” you sigh, slightly frustrated, as you thread your fingers through his hair to push out of his face. Your hips jolt forward, impatient.

He opens his eyes at that and the heat in his expression has you wanting to scoot forward on the counter until your ass was hanging off, if only to get closer to him. He cocks his eyebrow at you and mutters something suspiciously like you’re lucky that I like you so much.

Before you could question him, he’s parting his lips and then laving his tongue over you, flat and over your clit through the fabric of your panties.

You let out a soft moan, your hand on his hair tightening. The action causes Jesse to groan, muffled between your thighs, and then he’s diving in fully, pressing sloppy wet kisses against your core.

It’s heavenly, especially after not being touched for several weeks, but it’s still not enough as your hips shift forward to chase the feeling of his warm mouth.

His hands on your thighs tighten, another warning, before he’s finally dipping his thumb into the crotch of your panties to pull it aside and exposing your soaking cunt to him.

You don’t even have time to gasp at the rush of cool air against your warm skin before his mouth is on you again, tongue parting your puffy folds as he licks a stripe up your seam.

A shaky moan falls from your lips, sheer ecstasy at finally being touched without some stupid fabric in the way dripping into your veins and making you drop your head back. Your thighs begin to shake from where you still have your feet propped up on the counter, spreading you open further.

Jesse has always taken his time with you, steady and focused and knowing exactly what to do to have you unraveling in his mouth. He gathers the wetness increasingly dripping from your entrance, tasting you and groaning, spurring him on even further to press his face harder against your cunt. His strong nose prods at your clit and it has you choking on a gasp as heat begins to curl up your spine.

He traces along your folds with a firm tongue, the lewd noises from his mouth on you filling your ears, before circling deliberately around your clit.

Your mouth drops open, eyes rolling back, and you blame the fact that it’s been way too long since you’ve had his mouth on you for the way your orgasm rapidly approaches.

“Fuck, Jesse,” you gasp, head lolling over your shoulder as you stare, glassy-eyed, as he meets your gaze from where he’s kneeling in your fucking kitchen with his mouth on your pussy. “I’m—"

He closes his eyes and presses his face further against your core, tongue flicking your clit back and forth at a relentless pace, while one of his hands leaves your thighs to pull your folds apart and circle at your entrance. He immediately pushes it in, easily despite how thick his fingers were due to how slick you were, and the pressure has you letting out a high-pitched whine.

Your thighs were absolutely aching, feet starting to slip from the sweat forming all over your body and getting onto the counter, so you finally let your legs fall forward to place your thighs on his wide shoulders.

Jesse takes it in stride, as he does most things, and begins to suck earnestly at your clit while his finger thrusts into you, working and stretching you open so you were ready for his cock.

The thought of him fucking you, bending you over in the open air of the kitchen, has you squeezing your thighs around Jesse’s head and coming hard into his mouth. You writhe on the counter, hips bucking, but his firm grip on your thigh keeps you steady as he works you through it, tongue gentler as he runs it flat against your clit.

He doesn’t let up, that asshole, when your thighs start twitching around his head from the overstimulation. You let out a strangled noise, brain feeling foggy, as you tug at his hair to pull him up and away from your spent pussy.

When he’s face to face with you, the sight of your slick covering the entire bottom half of his face has you clenching around his finger where he still has it slowly fucking in and out of you. His eyes are tender, if not a little wild, and there’s an unbearably sexy smirk on his swollen lips, his tongue coming out to swipe around his mouth. As if he couldn’t get enough of you.

You’re surging forward, capturing his lips with yours, and the taste of yourself on his tongue has you moaning into his mouth, wrapping your thighs around his hips to pull him closer against you.

He eagerly reciprocates, tongue swiping in your mouth while he ruts against your inner thigh. You could feel the heat of his cock and how hard he was through his jeans, and you’re sure if you looked down, you’d be able to spot where his precum has bled through the fabric.

He begins to trail kisses alongside your jawline until he’s nipping at the spot underneath your ear that has your knees weak. Your own slick on his face, smearing against your cheeks, has your face heating up. “Ready to take my cock, baby?”

“God, yes.” And you’re just about to drop down off the counter so you could bend over and wag your bare ass in his face, before he stops you with a firm hand on your thigh.

Before you could ask him, he’s tugging you forward until your ass was hanging off the counter and begins unbuckling his belt. His eyes find yours, ablaze with hunger, as he rasps in a low voice, “I want to see you.”

Your heart thuds painfully in your chest. You don’t know what to say, what you could say, so you don’t say anything at all and instead lift the hem of your shirt and off, tossing it haphazardly to the floor.

Jesse groans at that, eyes immediately drawn to your breasts and the way your nipples instantly pebble in the cold air. He mutters an expletive before dropping his head to wrap his plush lips around one, as if he couldn’t help himself.

You let out a soft sigh, arousal already starting to flare up so soon after you came in his mouth, and you bring your arms to wrap around his shoulders, your knees to wrap around his waist. He’s so fucking broad, strong, unbearably handsome, yet his warm mouth on you is gentle as he swirls his tongue around your nipple.

He releases your swollen bud with a lewd pop, sitting up straighter so he could lean his forehead against yours as he shoves his jeans and briefs down until they bunch up around his thighs. His cock springs free, slapping against his black shirt and leaving a trail of sticky precum. Your mouth waters when he wraps a hand around the base of his cock, head flushed a pretty pink that was begging to be tasted.

He swipes the head between your folds, smearing his precum around and mixing with your slick that was steadily leaking out of you, before notching at your entrance and glancing up at you. You give him a slight nod, barely a tilt of your chin, and then he’s pushing into you slowly.

The stretch is immediate, his finger thick but not thick enough, and it’s bordering on too much despite how needy you felt, nearly aching for his cock. Your hands grip his shoulders, his muscles tensing a small comfort as he strains not to immediately fuck into you.

“Fuck,” Jesse groans, once he’s buried all the way inside of you. “Been thinking about this pussy all day.”

You let out a pathetic whine, hoping he would get the message you were trying to convey that you were running out of time but also he needed to hurry up and fuck you already.

“I know, I know,” he mutters, tone nearly condescending enough that had you clenching around him. He huffs a laugh at that, a hand coming to rest at the small of your back where the counter was digging into you and hikes your legs up higher on his hips.

The new angle has his cock pushing in deeper, and the low, drawn-out groan that you emit takes you by surprise.

“There she is,” he coos. He draws his hips back, carefully, and then he’s fucking back into you hard, punching a gasp out of your chest.

He finally starts a steady pace, one that has your body nearly going limp in his arms and your eyes rolling back in your head. The flesh of his skin slapping against yours and the lewd noises of your soaked cunt swallowing his cock with each thrust fills your ears, broken with Jesse’s heavy grunts.

You’re not even aware of the depraved sounds you were making—breathy whines and strangled noises each time he plunges into you, filling you up over and over again.

“Fuck, your pussy feels so,” he grinds into you, barely swiveling his hips yet causing you to gasp wetly as your hand comes down to claw at his chest. “Fucking good.”

He shuffles closer to you, his hips flush against the back of your thighs, and you thank God that you conveniently moved into an old house with low counters as he hovers over you, broad and solid.

Jesse’s hair continuously falls into his eyes, causing him to swipe at it several times in annoyance. When you follow his gaze, you notice with a thrill that he’s staring at where your bodies meet, and you don’t blame him.

The sight of his cock, shiny with your slick, as he continued to pump into you, your walls clenching and unclenching with every thrust, was heady. Filthy, even. It has your skin growing hot, pressure tightly building again despite feeling like you didn’t have the brain capacity to come again.

The hem of his shirt flutters in your eyeline and Jesse swiftly tugs at it until the fabric is bunched around underneath his armpits, exposing his abs and the way they flexed every time his hips snapped against you.

You lick your lips as your hand drops from where you were clutching at the fabric of his shirt to skim along his abs, sensing the way his muscles shifted and tightened.

God, was he sexy. Broad chest, strong arms, and a thick cock that he knew how to use that had you nearly drooling every time he walked by? You’re not sure how you got so fucking lucky.

“Always take my cock so good, baby,” he grunts, eyes meeting yours before dropping down to the way your tits were bouncing with each thrust. His free hand comes to grope at one of your breasts, squeezing and thumbing at your nipple, and drinking in the way you arch your back into his touch as best as you could with his other hand still protecting your back.

“Jesse, fuck—” you gasp as he picks up a desperate pace. You could tell he was close, most likely been on the brink as soon as he pushed himself inside of you and felt your walls clench around him, but he was holding back. Waiting for you.

His hand drops from your breast to snake in between your legs, causing your breath to get caught in your chest. The steady amount of slick dripping from you made his thumb glide easily in between your folds before circling precisely around your clit.

It’s nearly instantaneous the way your body locks up, thighs tightening from where they’re still hitched around his hips and your hand stilling where you were lightly tracing the contours of his stomach. Your mouth falls open, eyes glassy as you meet Jesse’s.

He curses and then he’s maneuvering you closer, grabbing a hold of your thighs and pushing them back until your knees were pressed into your chest. If possible, his cock slides in deeper, the weight of him as he hovers you becoming heavier. It’s all so fucking good, you’re nearly dizzy from how fast that familiar tightness begins to coil in the pit of your stomach.

“I always take care of my girl, don’t I, baby?” he pants into your open mouth, face merely inches away from yours. He’s relentless, fucking you and splitting you open over and over, you have no choice but to take it.

“Yes, yes—” you gasp, mind going foggy. Your arms come up to wrap around the back of your knees, hand grasping weakly at his forearm. You were so fucking close.

“That’s it, come on,” he whispers raggedly. The low timbre of his voice, smooth and breathless, and the intensity of his gaze melts into you. “That’s my pretty girl.”

Something cold and sharp was digging into your lower back, and when you blink down, you notice that Jesse’s jeans were still bunched around his thighs. The sight of him still in his clothes while you were completely bare and exposed on your kitchen counter had squeezing your eyes shut, fire burning underneath your skin.

You cry out as your orgasm finally hits you with a particular hard brush of his thumb against your clit. You feel yourself clench around him, causing him to bite out a curse, as your hips stutter against his and your thighs tremble.

That’s all that Jesse needs as his thrusts falter, turning more erratic before he’s burying his face into your neck, jerking forward and coming into you with a low, broken groan. His cock twitches inside of you, making you let out a whimper as you can feel his hot come fill you up and threaten to drip out of your aching pussy.

Both of you lay there for a moment, catching your breaths, before Jesse tilts his head to brush his lips against your jawline. Your hair flutters with every exhale. “Are you okay?”

You nod, still feeling dazed, as your throat swallows from how dry it was. “Never better.”

“Good.” He snakes his arms around you so you’re sitting up alongside him when he leans back, placing you gently until you were sitting with your bare ass on the counter.

When he steps back, hissing as his softening cock slides out of you, you let out a soft moan at the sudden emptiness. He quickly leans over you to grab a fresh dishrag, tenderly cleaning you up before tossing the rag to the side.

When you blink up at him, there’s a slight flush to his neck, sweat gathering at his hairline. He shakes out his hand that was placed behind you, shielding you from the sharp edge of the countertop, and you feel a surge of affection when you notice the red lines adorning the top of his hand.

You take his hand in yours to rub at, the roughness of his skin contrasting against yours. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Jesse leans in, nosing at your hairline before pressing a chaste kiss to your temple. “I said I’d take care of you, didn’t I?”

You flush at the words, feeling a sudden spark of arousal between your thighs.

Jesse feels the way you attempt to clench your thighs together, still on either side of his hips, and he laughs softly. He steps back to get dressed, easily, since he literally only needed to pull up his pants, however you stay rooted to the spot, taking the opportunity to admire him.

When he notices you’re making no move to get dressed, he rolls his eyes fondly. He stretches a hand out to you, helping you jump down from the countertop but also because he knew how weak in the legs you get after he fucks your brains out. And he’s right, as you nearly plant face first onto the floor when your knees buckle as soon as you step down.

Of course he catches you with a hand around your waist, his thick fingers warm against your skin. He tugs you in close, nearly tucking you into his chest, and the fabric of his clothes against your bare skin causes you to shiver. He starts to rub his hand up and down your side, naturally assuming you were cold.

Handsome, strong, protective, and affectionate. You’re going to keep him forever.

“Come on you, I still have to get you something from the mess hall.”

#jesse tlou x reader #jesse x reader #jesse tlou #tlou fic #the last of us fic #jesse tlou x reader smut #jesse tlou smut #mine #jesse tlou fic #jesse tlou x you

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captain-joongz · 1 day ago

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Wonderful nothing

this is a part two to Deserve you <- read this part first!

Pairing: brother-in-law!Seonghwa x f!reader

Genre: smut, dark

Summary: Months later, still reeling from your experience on your wedding night, you try to go on about your life as best as possible, but Seonghwa seems to be a little too damn adamant on messing with your life. Between juggling your husband's inappropriate behaviour and suspicions, and dodging your family's over-bearing questioning, could the edge the two of you keep dancing on be getting a little blurry?

Word count: 26.3k words

Warnings: infidelity, mentions of drugging (not of MC), implied sexual harrasment and predatory behaviour towards employees (by the husband), obsessed seonghwa, so much breeding kink you guys, this whole fic is just hwa trying to impregnate the MC, deepthroating and face-fucking, fingering, degradation/humiliation kink, possibly strange physics around fucking on a table (please suspend your disbelief lmao), back-shots, a bit of manhandling?, yujun being an ominous prick, i hope that's all???

A/N: here it is, folks - finally! i've genuinely put my soul into this piece and agonised over it being as best as possible, so i hope it lives up to the expectations! i might go through it again tomorrow and edit a little more. title taken from Glass Animals' song Wonderful Nothing. thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy!! <3

“I’m just telling you to prepare you,” my mother’s grating voice carried around the sitting room, and I fought to keep my eyes from rolling where I sat collapsed in a fancy settee, “She will be asking. And it’s not like the rest of us aren’t curious too. You’ve already been married almost nine months, and still nothing.”

I shook my head, cradling my glass with vodka juice closer to my chest, and doing my best to ignore the line of questions I’ve been met with non-stop for the past few months.

Why am I still not carrying Yujun’s heir?

At first whenever the topic came up I just tried to play it off, smile and laugh and tell them we still had time, that it’s going to happen eventually. Now I just pretended not to hear mostly.

“After the… display… the morning after your wedding, we all thought you’d be pregnant by now,” my mother continued musing, tone seemingly light but carrying a pang of bitterness to it, just like it always did when she chastised me for not being good enough. It didn’t use to be as often as it was now, and I suspected she felt pressure from the Parks and desperately hoped I wouldn’t embarrass our family in front of them. I stayed quiet, though.

Of course I’d never say it, but discreetly to myself I often thought the same. I was also surprised that after the night with Seonghwa I didn’t get pregnant – but I didn’t. And I wasn’t about to mention anything, because I didn’t want to bring any more attention to that cursed day. I couldn’t forget it, but I sure could still pretend it never happened.

“Sometimes it takes a little time,” I voiced out loud instead, not turning around to face her. I kept my focus stubbornly glued onto the wall where a huge Park family portrait hung, an old oil painting with a single man in a uniform standing prickly by a fireplace, face all tight and stern. I knew that fireplace – it was in a room just down the hall, in Yujun’s father’s office. When we were introduced into this room for the first time, Mrs. Park excitedly chattered off about which ancestor of theirs it was, but I zoned out and didn’t listen to a single word. Since then I wondered many times whether it was Mr. Park’s grand-father or great grand-father, and I used it as a distraction every time I found myself in this salon. Just… staring at his unfriendly face, trying not to think about bringing disgrace onto his bloodline.

“Yes, but it’s been months,” my mother stressed, and I could perfectly imagine the displeased expression on her face she wore whenever I talked back to her, “Now would be the perfect time to announce news like that. If you’re not pregnant by the end of the first year of marriage, the Parks might start to worry about your ability to fulfil your duty to your husband and this family.”

I wanted to scoff at those words so bad. I hated that dated mindset, and I hated that my position in this family was hanging by a thread because of it. If I failed to deliver an heir, the Parks would push for a divorce, and my family wouldn’t be able to survive such an embarrassment, even though we no longer lived in Joseon. This was the 21st fucking century, and yet this whole situation was still being treated as if we lived in the 1760s.

I might have as well been shoved into a rice chest too.

Sometimes I almost wished I could tell her the truth. It would be worth it for the immediate satisfaction, that’s for sure, but it would fuck over my life spectacularly. And I knew I couldn’t count on any of these fuckers to have my back.

I often wondered about how she’d react to that, though. Well, mother, of course I’m not pregnant. The last sexual encounter I had was fucking my brother-in-law on my wedding night while my husband, his brother, puked his guts out in a bathroom on the ground floor.

Clutching her pearls wouldn’t even begin to cover it. She’d probably get carried out on a stretcher. And still no grandbabies – just shameful.

And in the months after the wedding it turned out that being married to the youngest Park was just as nightmarish as I thought it would be, if not more.

He drank often, and no matter what he did he couldn’t beat out the smell that carried everywhere with him, that he was steeped in. He wasn’t unattractive by any means, he definitely had a certain young chaebol charm, but he constantly smelled of sweat, stale vodka or whiskey, and cigarette smoke. The men he spent his time with were loud and obnoxious, and the exact kind of company that would strike a pang of fear in any woman. I certainly did my best to never be alone in a room with them, and I never left my drink out of sight either.

I didn’t know the full extent of his activities, and I didn’t want to.

And he didn’t care for me either, thankfully. The only time I even existed in his mind was when he returned home drunk and horned up, pressing up against me and mumbling drunkenly things that turned my stomach with his breath smelling like garlic and pussy. It was a miracle he didn’t make me throw up on a nightly basis.

Yujun, just like me, was very aware of the ‘duty’ to have children we faced, and always brought up the topic when he wanted a quick fuck.

So I had to take matters into my own hands.

Growing up in the higher echelon of society often left you with many very useful contacts in your phone. A lot of people of the same age all grew up together through our parents’ endless parties, galas and fishing trips, or whatever else they thought of to chase away the boredom, where we watched them drink and make fool of themselves like they weren’t the people running the world. That left us with a sort of quiet camaraderie – we shared many thoughts and opinions of them, but we still had some time left before we had to go and become them.

That means that when I contacted Jeong Yunho, a son of our family’s private visiting doctor, who went in his father’s footsteps and recently finished his degree to join his family’s practice, he was more than welcoming to my odd requests. All it took was a nice check, and he was writing me prescriptions for whatever I needed.

And what I needed were pills that quickly knocked someone out and lowered their sex drive.

So that whenever my husband dearest came home in the mood, I slipped him some in his water, took him to the bedroom and played up our interaction until he passed out, and then in the morning I pretended we fucked the whole night.

Yujun didn’t question his lack of memory, as he himself was aware he was most probably drunk and high on all kinds of stuff, and he was the kind of man whose ego far overshadowed his intelligence, so all I had to do was pander to his delusion of grandeur and sexual prowess and he left the house feeling like a god of sex while I was blissfully left alone.

But obviously that wasn’t something I’d boast about to my mother. Or anyone else for that matter, not even Seonghwa.

Seonghwa who’d be annoyingly smug about such information. Seonghwa who’d take it as an invitation to come over and fuck me all night instead of Yujun. Seonghwa who I didn’t see much in the past months because I did my damned best to avoid him.

Seonghwa who was stepping into the room right behind his mother just minutes later, as if I summoned him with my gloomy pondering.

I immediately swallowed down the last of my drink I had and prepared myself for the fucking show, because no way we’d have to spend hours here together. My mother was already standing, a fake wide smile plastered to her face as she greeted Mrs. Park loudly – who of course wore a very similar expression. I managed barely a smile as she half hugged me, keeping a few inches between us, while she pretended to kiss my cheeks (like I had fucking rabies). It was a hilarious charade, and I’d laugh at it too, if I was a little more drunk and cared a little less about my mother’s opinions.

Seonghwa greeted my mother similarly, but to me he slowly walked up and quickly grabbed my wrist to lay a single deceptively gentle kiss to the back of my hand. He did it quickly, not lingering or making a show of it, and I was at least a little thankful for that with both of our mother’s eyes boring into us. His gaze was dark though, and I saw the amusement and twisted excitement bubbling in it, reminiscent of how he looked that night. He knew he had me where I couldn’t avoid him.

And I knew I was in deep shit.

Because this was the look of a man determined to get what he wanted. And I knew what Seonghwa wanted maybe a little too well.

“Thank you for inviting us, Yeongja-ssi,” I heard my mother say just as Seonghwa stepped away and the rest of the world snapped back into place – now that the man wasn’t sucking all of my attention in like a black hole.

“Of course, you’re family now!” came a faux cheery reply, and I prepared myself for the most boring, awful afternoon in my life.

We were currently away from the city, sitting in the Parks’ family summer residence where they apparently spent a lot of their time when they weren’t needed around their businesses. It was march now, and Mr. Park invited my father, and the rest of us by default, to join him on his first hunting trip of the year, as the residence came with a hefty amount of land primed to be the best hunting grounds.

So now I was stuck in this fucking house, looking at all the pompous architecture and interior design, while the men ran around the forest for days and shot at everything.

“Aren’t you supposed to be hunting?” the question slipped out of my mouth before I knew what I was doing, and I realised it was the first proper thing I said probably all day. My tone wasn’t very friendly, but if the two women caught that, they said nothing – though they did turn to us curiously, watching our interaction.

The man in question grinned at me though, very amused by my somewhat hostile stance, and shifted where he sat on the dark blue sofa across from me.

“I will be joining them tomorrow,” Seonghwa answered easily, “I just got here an hour ago, and I’d like to rest for a bit.” It was a very diplomatic answer, very polite and bland. I hummed, looking at him very pointedly for a moment longer, before I turned to pour myself another glass.

“So, Y/N,” Mrs. Park eagerly took the opportunity to talk to me while I seemed more open to conversation, “do you have any happy news to share?”

Sighing, I settled back into my own settee with a fake smile, ignoring how Seonghwa’s eyes ignited with the mention of the topic.

This was going to be a long day.

I wouldn’t quite say I was snooping, but I found myself wandering around the house even through the spaces I definitely wasn’t allowed to, and I knew that. Like right now, where I stood in the middle of the aforementioned study, taking in the stupid fireplace in real life so I could compare it to the painting later when I was dissociating from yet another conversation about jewellery. I wasn’t interested in the paperwork laying on the desk of the office, but I knew Mr. Park would have a seizure if he knew I was so close to all his business bullshit.

That’s why the moment I heard a floor creak just a few steps away from me, I was jumping guiltily and spinning around to the door with my heart wildly beating out of my chest. The sudden movement caused me to spill some of my drink, and I felt the icy sticky fluid running down my fingers onto the floor.

When I saw who stood there though, I both relaxed and panicked further. A very different kind of nervosity took a hold of me as I breathlessly watched Seonghwa leisurely stroll into the room, dark eyes trained on me unblinkingly.

I saw his gaze flicker to the floor briefly, lips quirking up at seeing the mess, before he whipped up a cloth handkerchief and kneeled down right by my feet to wipe it away. He did it all so quickly I found myself flinching back, stumbling away from the crouched man until my back hit the table behind me, much to his entertainment.

My mind very unhelpfully supplied a mental image of the last time I had Seonghwa kneeling for me, which had me cursing myself while I fought to unclench my thighs. The man no doubt saw me squirming though, judging from the amused smirk he had as he stood up again.

He was wearing his hunting attire – looser trousers with knee-high boots and a tweed jacket over a white shirt, all in black so that the red tie popped out with the sudden splash of colour. It complimented his figure, of course it did – just like everything the man wore, and he knew it.

“Didn’t you say you were going hunting today?” I tried to bite out with hostility now that we were alone. Our mothers decided to have a last-minute shopping spree, searching for new dresses to wear at the first feast of the season that would close out this trip in a few days. I respectfully declined, though the politeness took a lot out of me, so I dedicated the rest of the afternoon to sulkily wandering the halls not speaking to anyone.

“I was,” the man answered smoothly, gesturing to his clothes, “obviously.” He took a few more steps towards me, and I couldn’t help but fixate on the wide-open door of the study. Couldn’t he at least close it if he wanted to do this right now?

“You’ve returned with your bounty, then?” I asked then, cold sweat pouring over me at that. If Seonghwa was back, that meant everyone else was likely too. More curious eyes to stumble upon this scene, which was just awesome.

“Only me,” came his swift answer, as if he saw right into my mind and read all my worries, “I told them I’m tired of the outdoors and I’m going back for a quick late lunch with mother.”

“Your mother isn’t here,” spilled out of my mouth quickly – like I was actually hoping for him to take that information and decide to leave again, “They went into the city.”

Seonghwa only grinned my way though, that beastly edge shining through his carefully constructed indifferent mask. His hands were lazily locked behind his back and it gave him an almost whimsical vibe. Like a fairy, here to fuck up my day.

“I know.”

Well, it seemed it was as easy as that.

At this point it would take Seonghwa only two more steps before he was all pressed against me, and I nervously gripped the edge of the desk I was leaning on. I fucking hoped he wouldn’t – there were always people running around here. You were never fully alone in this house, whether it was the maids, or the two servants, or the kitchen staff or even the three fucking chauffeurs killing time outside with a very bored gardener, the chances of no eyes being on you in a house like this were critically low.

Seonghwa seemed to be deliberating on that as well, because I did see him hesitate for a moment, almost turning as if to check the open door, before he ultimately threw all that out the window and swiftly moved towards me until I felt his firm sculpted chest and stomach pressed into my soft lines.

I found myself gasping, even though I saw it coming the whole time – I knew he was going to do it, and I still startled when I felt his hands grasp at my waist. His warm breath hit the crook of my neck, his cheek almost pressing to mine as he moulded himself over me just like that night in the hotel. I wasn’t sure if my heart beat so fast I could barely register it or if it stopped all-together, but I sure wasn’t breathing as my skin broke out into goosebumps at physically feeling Seonghwa release a breathy chuckle against my neck.

“I hope you haven’t forgotten what I promised you before, doll,” he whispered sensually, pressing his hips harder into mine like he was trying to remind me. As if he needed to remind me – as if I wasn’t thinking about it all the time anyway, even though I haven’t seen his face for weeks.

One of his hands smoothly glided over my stomach until it possessively rested on my lower belly, right over where my womb would be, and I finally stuttered out some breaths.

“This right here is mine,” Seonghwa’s lips brushed over the sensitive skin of my ear before he bit down gently, “and I intend on delivering.”

Just as quickly his hands suddenly slid down to the back of my thighs and before I knew it, he was pulling me up onto the table and slotting his hips between my legs hard. I floundered for a moment, hands shooting up to stabilise myself and grabbing onto his shoulders, which was probably something he was very happy about.

I wouldn’t know, I was too busy gasping at the feeling of his already hardening cock pressed tightly into my clothed sex. Not even my startled limbs stopped him from grinding against me slightly to drag out the sensation though. I felt the way he squeezed at my thigh before one of his hands flew up to tangle into my hair, tugging me to his sinful mouth.

I’d like to believe I gave in so easily because I was confused, or surprised. I’d like to say I received him so quickly because my mouth was already open on a gasp, but in my heart I worried whether those were true.

Seonghwa didn’t waste time (he never did, he was very efficient in everything he did) and immediately dipped his tongue deep into my mouth, hungry mouth kissing me all messy and wet. This time when I gasped, he swallowed it down with a quiet groan, hand tightening in my locks and pulling slightly to pry me more open for him.

Just as I fully registered what has happening, realised I was quickly overheating, a wave of staggering warmth spilling over into me from his heated form pressed so close, and I grew dizzy – and then he was suddenly gone, a few steps back and looking perfectly put together except for his wet swollen lips and wild dark eyes. He didn’t even breath hard, though his pants bulged out obscenely, betraying that he was affected by this little tryst too, just like I was.

I sat on the desk, confused and aroused, thighs splayed open wide and chest rising and falling rapidly with my laboured breaths. I felt the spit cooling in the corner of my mouth, the wet feeling bringing embarrassed flush to my face.

I felt my core throbbing too, my traitorous cunt calling out for him to come back (she remembered well) and make it all better, but the man was already walking out of the room with a pep in his step, a shit-eating grin on his face and a sparkle in his eyes – while I struggled to pull myself together.

The glass I brought my drink in was overturned on the desk, swaying back and forth on its side, and the cold liquid was seeping into my pants and the carpet underneath. I wondered how I didn’t even feel the wetness, but I did have bigger problems at the moment.

With a curse I jumped down and tried to salvage the mess, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. Especially not when I finally walked out of the room to find someone more qualified to deal with the ruined carpet and ran right into a red-faced blushing maid who couldn’t even look into my eyes as she rushed in to deal with the aftermath.

My heart sank, and I hoped that the staff here was as tight-lipped as ours, because I sure as hell wasn’t ready for this all to fall down on my head yet.

I didn’t see Seonghwa for the rest of the day after that – the man didn’t even show up at dinner, claiming to be too tired and needing to retire early. When I retreated to my room that night I found myself creeping through that house like a scared little mouse, paranoid that that he was behind every corner just waiting to jump me.

It was very fitting that we were here for a hunting trip – because he did feel like a hunter, only his prey wasn’t out there in the woods. It was sleeping in the house with him.

Yujun managed to stumble into the room late into the night even here, though I had no idea what could have been keeping him while we were staying in a house in the middle of the woods (maybe it was better to not know, now that I thought about it). When he clambered into the bed, for a moment I froze and laid still, waiting for what he’d do next. As every evening, I had a preventative spiked glass of water standing on the nightstand – if he as much as bumped into me, I’d be turning around to offer it to him with a sweet wifely smile, pumping it straight into his throat if I had to.

Thankfully the man seemed to be exhausted and he just shuffled around for a moment before stilling and falling asleep almost immediately. I had a sinking feeling I knew what that meant, and I could only hope that whatever unfortunate woman he had come across was alright. Disgust coiled tightly around my stomach and suddenly the idea of sharing a bed with this man was making me so sick I almost threw up. Automatically I sat up, feet hitting the floor before I even fully thought of what I was going to do.

I was just about to sneak out and leave the room to go take a breather, when I remembered Seonghwa’s predatory smile as he leisurely walked out of the study earlier that afternoon. Better not leave the room actually, not while he was in the same house at least. I cringed at that and sank back into the soft bedding.

What a fucking life I was leading. I was getting pretty sick of tiptoeing around everyone like that.

So I just turned my back to the man I married and tried to pretend he wasn’t there as I forced myself back into sleep.

I wasn’t sure when exactly I was pulled under, but when I jerked awake in the morning I was already alone. All traces of Yujun ever being there the night before were gone, and the sun was sneaking in through the folds of the curtains. The hunt has already begun.

Both my mother and my mother-in-law acted normally, and even though the one unfortunate maid that was saddled with dealing with the aftermath of my indiscretion with Seonghwa yesterday couldn’t quite meet my eyes, I assumed no one else knew. The day dragged on, painfully slow and tense, as I laughed dutifully with the older women’s chatter and ignored their little probes trying to get me to talk about my married life.

By the time the evening rolled by, I was drunk, cranky and exhausted of all the social interactions. During dinner Seonghwa kept his dark gaze trained on me, making me squirm with unease under the suspicious eyes of my mother. As I walked to my bedroom, I stopped the maid as she walked by and pressed a couple bills in her hand, avoiding her confused face. When Yujun came, I gave him his water and waited until he passed out.

Same shit, another day.

The next few days went by both terrifyingly slow and shockingly fast, like the universe was pulling me into both directions. For most of the time, I just felt strangely suspended in some cosmic in-between. I was struggling to connect to the other two women even before, but now that Seonghwa routinely made his presence known I felt even more distant from their dreary bullshit. Our fathers and my husband spent their entire day gone or butchering their bounty, and even during the night Yujun rarely bothered me – either too tired or just not in the mood ‘for my bullshit’, as he lovingly put it.

That left Seonghwa – my loyal shadow, my curse following me around, the ghoul, the phantom. He made it a game for himself to mess with me. Since the incident in the study he never got quite as close, but I saw his amused smirks whenever he brushed against me while leaving a room, or whenever his hands lingered on my body just a touch too long while no one was looking.

The man used his unfavourable position well to get his way. The invisible wall between him and all the rest of the family was even more painfully obvious the longer we spent with them, felt in all those awkward glances and stuttered half sentences. Seonghwa was always sort of falling through the cracks of the Park family, stalking the halls and rooms like a ghost of mistakes past.

Mrs. Park could barely bear to look at him for too long, and Mr. Park hated that he deserved to be respected, especially when faced with his other son’s never-ending disappointments.

That allowed him to slip through their awareness, linger on the edges of everyone’s consciousness like a forgotten thought you can’t quite get rid of, and it haunts you with its elusiveness.

Seonghwa only made his presence known when he absolutely had to, he used their niggling unease at his presence to find easy excuses to leave – to just… fade away without a trace. No one missed him when he wasn’t there – only relief was left in his absence. Their reluctance to see him and perceive him gave him plenty of opportunities to do his wrongs in plain sight knowing everyone was wilfully not paying attention. Seonghwa had it down to science.

And very rarely, I’d see his eyes flash with hardened pain. The kind that never leaves your heart, coming from wounds that cut just a little too deep to heal. In those times I found it in myself to pity the man, and I hated him for it.

But slowly I found myself realising that the same glass wall that kept Seonghwa detached from others was keeping me detached from them as well. I was caught with him on the other side, and the way we both disappeared into the background, blended into the wallpapers, was a truly disturbing experience. Like we were existing outside of their time and space.

All the burning looks exchanged, the agonising brushes of skin against skin – it all went unnoticed. And I felt so alone, so alone and left with a beast hungry for my blood, hunting me in plain daylight – and yet no one saw.

I knew Seonghwa felt emboldened by this. It was all written clearly in his wicked grins.

He liked to tease it out, play with me sweetly, but I could see he was gearing up to pounce again. His eyes sparkled with terrible excitement whenever he caught my gaze across tables, rooms and corridors, lurking by corners with dark eyes watching my every move.

By the last day of the trip I was fidgeting with unease, unable to sit still and jerking at every rash movement. It had my mother strictly reprimanding me, sending me warning glares and constantly reminding me to act like a lady. She thought it was the alcohol, and it wasn’t lost on me how she watched me disapprovingly whenever I got up to get myself a fresh glass of something – even though all of us were doing nothing but drinking and gossiping.

The men for a change spent that whole day in the kitchens to prepare their bounty for dinner, and their boisterous laughs carried through the whole house. Their great spirits were no doubt also supported by a hefty amount of liquid courage, but I didn’t see my mother casting disgusted glances their way. Hypocrite.

Seonghwa came in with a platter of cheeses and fruits, passing by me with a hungry expression on his face before he schooled it into a polite smile for our mothers. I couldn’t believe I sincerely didn’t see it before, when I was planning the wedding. Now it was all I saw, and it made me want to run.

With the evening approaching it was like I could physically feel the anticipation rise. The tension felt thick enough to cut, thick enough to taste it on my tongue every time I opened my mouth. Thick enough it got me wondering whether the others could sense it too.

I’ve never been too great with polite small-talk, so I spent the dinner quietly chewing through my food listening to whatever the topic was discussed at the time distractedly. Seonghwa was surprisingly chatty that evening, and he seemed to be in a great mood – which stupefied everyone else present at the table, as they were used to the way the man usually kept himself at a distance.

Only I knew that it meant incredibly bad things were about to go down in this fucking house.

Unfortunately once the women got tired of keeping their attention on the very male oriented conversation of their husbands and sons, they shifted their focus back to our little corner. I lasted all of three not so very subtle remarks about how a nice little retreat like this was the perfect opportunity to get pregnant before I was shooting up on my feet and excusing myself to the bathroom with a tense smile.

My mother’s eyes firmly gestured towards Yujun, but I ignored her rapidly souring expression and left quickly. What did she want me to do? Get pregnant by him right here on this table? (fate has a funny was of unfolding)

The long-haired man who was the reason for my unease in the first place was also subtly watching me, though for the first time I found his face unreadable. That unsettled me, and I basically ran out.

I stalled for as long as I could, but it ended up only buying me twenty minutes of peace before someone sought me out.

When I heard slow unhurried footsteps aiming towards the bathroom I had hidden in, I was already steeling myself for it being my mother. It didn’t surprise me – I kind of suspected she’d end up blowing up at me one way or another. If it wasn’t about my lack of children or the lack of desire to rectify it, it would definitely be about the very impolite behaviour I exhibited as it threatened to give Mrs. Park the wrong impression. Personally, I didn’t give a fuck about Mrs. Park’s impression of me – it’s not like she could do anything worse to me than what I was already involved in.

Wanting to avoid that conversation for as long as possible, I bent over the sink and scooped up the running water to bury my face in it.

I realised I was wrong about my assumption the moment I felt two strong hands settle on my waist as a wiry body pressed up against me. I knew those hands. I knew that body.

Startled, I jerked up – already knowing whose eyes I was going to meet in the mirror. In my haste I ended up barrelling into his chest. The man took it all in his stride though, and his arms swiftly moved to wrap around my waist. Shamefully, it was a touch I was intimately familiar with, even if we haven’t interacted in that way for months.

Seonghwa was smirking back at me where I was gawking at him in the mirror – and I quickly got reminded just how shameless the man was. A little further behind his shoulder I saw the door wide open, again. The loud voices and laughs carried through the hallway easily; after all the terrace wasn’t that far from where we currently stood.

“What the hell are you doing?” I hissed out aggressively, but did nothing to shake him off. He stared at me for a few long seconds before I was suddenly being spun around. My back hit the counter, but it was hard to focus on anything but the demanding mouth that was abruptly descending on mine. Tongue swiftly swooped inside my lips, punching a little dazed gasp of surprise.

Just as quickly he was pulling away. His hand grasped onto my jaw, keeping my head angled in a way he liked. Gaze dark, it slid across my features in an appraising way, like he was looking at a painting.

“I’m fulfilling my promise,” came his answer finally. Seonghwa didn’t bother lowering his voice, he was as comfortable as ever where he started pushing me down towards the ground. And it took me about four seconds to realise what he was doing – and promptly I started blushing.

I allowed myself to hit the floor with my knees, but as soon as his hand came back to grasping me, I started resisting. I threw a stormy glare up back at him and jerked my head to the side. A spark of arousal flashed through his eyes and I saw his lips twitch in a smirk. Anger pulsed through me.

“Why the fuck are you doing this?” it came out a lot tenser, my voice low with all the frustration that has been building up in me since we got to this fucking house. That finally got a reaction out of him – for a split second it was like a shadow passed over his face, eyes darkening with something different than the anticipant arousal I usually saw painted there.

Then the man leant down, his long black hair sliding down shoulders and hanging in the space over me. His otherworldly beautiful face was twisted over me, sneering with all the emotion in the world.

“Because I want to,” he whispered, voice underlined with something beastly, “and because you’ll let me.” Then his hand was back, man-handling my face towards his crotch. I swallowed the shame that bubbled up at his words. I wish I could argue back, but even now I wasn’t pulling away as Seonghwa pushed me against himself, letting out a sigh of relief. He was right, and I didn’t want to bring more attention to it – though he felt the lack of resistance in me.

But as long as we didn’t talk about it, everything was normal, right?

With a bit of alarm I realised that Seonghwa was already hard, pants straining and tenting with his beautiful length. I remembered it well, I even remembered trying to suck it in my hazy state and Seonghwa stopping me, promising me a next time.

Well, here he was. A man of his word.

But even harder was the realisation that I could feel wetness sticking to my panties. I’d slicked up for him, and all it took was a bit of force and some mean words. Humiliation burned in me, and it was making my cunt throb even harder, already crying to be filled with something before he even started doing anything.

So instead of focusing on that, I casted another look towards the man, this one teary and resigned and aroused. Pleading. It was just as much me wanting to get it over with and as it was squirming with anticipation.

Seonghwa took one look at me and scoffed, lips curling into an arrogant grin – though the way arousal swirled in his pupils wasn’t lost on me. As always, he was a man of action. His hands made quick work of the pants fastenings, pulling the fabrics down. I was so close that the moment his cock sprang free it smacked lightly into my cheek.

Just as I remembered it, it was pretty and long, not as quite thick, but nicely curved. Seonghwa watched me with amusement flicking behind all that lust, entertaining himself by circling his hips so that the head of his cock smeared against my face. I flashed him another irritated glare, if only to see him slowly get more riled up. He was enjoying my rebellion, and as excitement slowly settled into my stomach, I worried I might too.

The door was still wide open, and our families could still be clearly heard from where they sat and conversed while the atmosphere in the bathroom felt almost too quiet. Something silent pulsed between our gazes, something almost like a secret being shared.

Seonghwa caught onto my strategy quick. I wasn’t sure if it was all written in my eyes – I found it a little scary how easily he could read me sometimes, but I could sense the change in him. The moment he decided he wasn’t going to let me play him like he wanted to play me. His hand came back to my face, grasping my jaw tightly like before. But this time his touch swiftly moved. I had only a second of warning before he was stuffing his fingers in my mouth, firmly prying it open and keeping it that way.

There was no supressing the shudder that went through me, neither the tiny moan that clawed its way out of my throat at the roughness of his touch. The man didn’t bother telling me to be quiet, not with that self-satisfied smirk on his face. I bet he couldn’t care less about the kind of mess I made, he probably wouldn’t even give a shit if someone walked straight in and saw. That thought terrified me, but like always when this man was involved – I did nothing to stop him (truly a self-fulfilling prophecy).

He must have decided that there was enough waiting though, because suddenly there was a cock sliding into my mouth. Seonghwa’s hand kept my jaw open to fight against the flinch of surprise, but I still gasped, my eyes flying up just in time to see his beautiful face screwed in relieved pleasure.

Seonghwa gave me a few seconds of calm before he was pulling back and smoothly sliding back in, the cock filling my mouth up completely. A hum of contentment escaped me on instinct and I sank into the feeling, eyes falling shut. Two or three more thrusts came in easy and soft, and then his fingers slipped out of my mouth and gripped my hair instead.

Seonghwa was a relentless lover, all powerful thrusts and rough sighs of pleasure. When he fucked you he possessed you, owned you, held you in ways that moulded you to his satisfaction. And what was more – he wanted to see you know it. This encounter was no different.

He didn’t let me pretend for long. Before I knew it, his strong grip was forcing my head back, pulling until tears pearled up at the corners of my eyes. His hips were moving in languid smooth glides, contrary to the harsh thrusts he was delivering to my mouth. I only took it for a few more moments before I was blinking open to give him another stern glare – which was much harder to do with his cock sliding into my mouth until I felt it hitting the back.

He groaned out the second our eyes met and I choked on the head, pulling back only to thrust even further in with a provoking grin. Upon my gasp a flurry of saliva spilled out my lips, dribbling down my chin and throat. My mouth was so full my head was spinning with it; I was barely breathing, puffs of air escaping me in uneven bursts, and all I could hear were Seonghwa’s stuttering quiet groans. All I could feel was the way he throbbed on my tongue, the way he tasted of salt and musk. Then he was overriding all of my senses.

As he jerked forward to sink into me once more, his hand flexed in my hair and pulled. I felt my eyes roll back into my skull as my mouth stretched open on a moan. Seonghwa’s cock slid in deeper than before and I gagged on it, feeling my mouth and throat so full of him I couldn’t think about anything else. The tears that lined my eyes before were now freely falling down my cheeks. I could see it his gaze that it was exciting him even more, could hear it in the way his breath hitched in the middle of a muted groan. He was watching me with twisted awe, dark satisfaction creeping into the sharp edges of his sneer.

This time when he pulled out he gave me a few seconds to cough and wheeze and swallow, and I felt my knees throb now that I wasn’t getting distracted by everything else. The coldness of the floor was seeping into my bones, the hardness pressing into the soft skin there. The harsh line of the marble counter was digging into the back of my head, right underneath where his hand gripped me. Clinking of cutlery against porcelain carried through the air, the easy conversation just a few metres away still going uninterrupted and creating a steady hum beneath the cacophony of the quiet huffs and groans filling the little room we were in.

We were both breathing hard, but something very different reflected in Seonghwa’s face. Something that pushed my heart into overdrive with sharp notes of unease. Something that wasn’t there the last time I was with him – something that shifted from cruel to obsessive.

When he gripped my jaw again, eyes darkening with lust, I opened my mouth automatically, which pleased him. I didn’t want to like that, didn’t want to like pleasing him – but the way my stomach fluttered betrayed me. I knew, and he knew.

Seonghwa always just seemed to know, no matter how much I hid.

Taking a little step closer he pressed up against me fully, and when his cock slipped into my mouth this time, he barely had to move. With one hand he kept my hair in a tight grip, pushing the back of my head against the counter – and the other slowly migrated towards the porcelain sink above me, gripping it and leaning on it to keep the circling of his hips smooth. On every stroke he filled my mouth to the brim until I felt his sack press into my chin, all messy from the mix of my saliva and his salty bitter precum. I felt the sticky mixture sliding down my throat into my cleavage from where I choked and gagged.

The flavour of him exploded my senses, pushing me down, deeper into the pulsing pleasure.

“Asking me why,” the man suddenly muttered, breathless and wrecked, hands flexing and hips rough, “like you don’t watch me with those begging eyes.” His hand moved from my hair to wipe away the tears sliding down my cheeks. He abruptly kicked up the pace and the hands I’ve kept uselessly buried in the fabric of my dress subconsciously flew out to grab onto his thighs. I heard his voice break off into a tight moan and answered in my own, the flames of my own arousal pulsing through me with revenge out of nowhere – my own lust catching up to me so abruptly it knocked me off my axis.

“Acting like you don’t- don’t know… deep down- …that you’re mine,” he was getting tongue-tied with the exertion, and I knew just how close he was by how chatty he was getting. The truths always rolled off his tongue easier right on the cusp of painting me with his cum.

“B-because no one else- no one else sees you-” He was getting frantic with his pace, hitting the back of my throat with the head of his cock and stuffing it as far as my body could accept it. I was trying my best to breathe through my nose and keep my throat open, but my senses were getting so overwhelmed, my head spinning and dizzy, face all wet and body shaking. My juices dripped down my thighs, cunt pulsing and squeezing, but I didn’t have the capacity to do anything about it, not with how Seonghwa overruled my every thought. I whined, deep and long and needy, and felt his cock throb and jump while he moaned high in the back of his throat. “No one else sees you- like I do.”

Cum exploded into my throat, abruptly and without any warning, thick spurts quickly filling up the whole cavity. I choked on it, but my instinct kicked in and I started swallowing, though thick globs still slipped out of my mouth and joined the mess on my chin and neck, mixing in with the shiny cooling spit. I still felt him throbbing, his whole body tense and shaking over me, quiet whines escaping him as he tried to stifle himself.

Seonghwa held me in place for several long seconds before his body relaxed, and he slipped out of my mouth with a satisfied sigh. I got all of four seconds to take notice of my wheezing breaths and wet face and neck, mouth still knotted with the thick liquid that was now dribbling down all over me. Seonghwa cared for none of that.

His eyes flashed, and then I was pulled up to my feet and onto the counter. My head still spun, mind too gone to be fully coherent, but I knew I shouldn’t even bother closing my legs – not when the man was already prying himself in between them, pushing them roughly to the side.

When Seonghwa kissed me, all I could focus on was his pleased hum at the taste, the shudder that ran through him, the way his heavy breath hit me with wanton sighs while our tongues mingled. One of his hands sneaked down to grab my thigh and the other didn’t waste any more time, plunging right where it wanted to be.

His fingers skirted around the edge of my soaked underwear for a fleeting touch and then two of them were plunged deep inside me. Both of us groaned at that, a little too loudly for the circumstances – probably way louder than we could afford, but I couldn’t muster up the energy to care and I knew Seonghwa just didn’t. His eyes were eating me up, filing the interaction away, hungrily flitting over my face slackened in ecstasy. Our faces were so close our noses brushed each other, hot breaths mingling and sounds of pleasure almost harmonising. Like they were coming from the same source, from some hive-mind that distributed this depraved indulgence equally between us both, no matter who touched who and how. The intimacy of it all, that was what tore my heart up the most – and yet I still couldn’t force myself to look away from his beautiful sharp face coloured with bliss.

The patience from before has dissipated it seemed, because Seonghwa didn’t pause to let me adjust, didn’t even let himself think about. Instead he started up a quick rough pace, ramming into me with force that always left me breathless, pads of fingers a little too happy to find that magic little spot deep inside me and rub it endlessly.

I felt like I was losing my mind, the way the pleasure rushed my bloodstream and my brain, my body could barely process the sudden onslaught of sensations and it shook, shook against him like I was going to tremble apart. Seonghwa’s hand didn’t stop for a single moment, the wetness streaming around his fingers and splattering on my thighs. The squelching sound felt so loud in that little bathroom, especially with how enthusiastic his movements were.

I tried to strain my ears to see whether the others were still entertained by each other, but I couldn’t focus on them, not when Seonghwa’s fingers curled inside me, not when his thumb pushed on my already sensitive clit, not when he dived into the crook of my neck to kiss and nibble on the skin there. I felt my thighs shake, my knees lock, as the wave surmounted, as it grew and grew until I couldn’t take a single breath without risking crying out loud enough for the whole mountain to hear.

My cunt throbbed and pulsated around his digits, swallowing every inch. I was never more aware of how beautiful and strong his hands where than that moment, when they were bringing me to heaven and back in a bathroom barely a hallway away from our families.

Seonghwa chuckled at me as he watched me slowly, deliriously cum on his hand, while I fought to keep my head on straight enough to not moan out. The tension that was mercilessly rising, filling me to the brim and making my legs shake, released in a big boom, like a star exploding into a supernova. Like a star being born. I felt like I was on the cusp of a cosmic event.

My back arched violently and I threw my head back with the ecstasy, eyes screwed shut and mouth hanging wide open with a silent scream. One that I managed to swallow down with the last strands of sanity before it all drained out of me – and all that was left was just a wave after a wave of relief, all pumping out through my throbbing contracting hole.

Seonghwa’s fingers still moved gently, sliding in leisurely to prolong the sensations and to keep me full. I wasn’t ready to be empty, it would take me a while before I came back to myself and realised who I was fooling around with and where, but until then I desperately clenched on them, begging them to stay firmly lodged in.

And Seonghwa indulged me with soft croons, mouth now travelling down my throat to the crook of my neck, smiling and humming into the skin in a manner that was supposed to be calming, but I in my mind couldn’t interpret it as anything but mockery. Soft, sweet mockery that seeped into me, equal parts soothing and maddening.

When I came back to myself I was slumped into his embrace, head aimlessly lolling around on his shoulder while he entertained himself by kissing all the skin he could reach without dislodging us. My brain came back online with a few grumbles before I started slowly pulling away. This wasn’t the time or the place for gentle sweet nothings.

Seonghwa clocked in my change and moved accordingly, but as the bastard he was he took his damn sweet time pulling out, savouring each inch his fingers caressed on the way. Making me feel him till the last second. I ignored him and attempted to stand back on my feet, only to find them weak and shaking

I ostentatiously ignored him as I turned around to check myself in the mirror, but I couldn’t escape his gaze through the reflection. His eyes were like black holes, gravitational pull dragging me into them, devouring me raw. The strange glint returned to them as they roamed freely over my form, taking in my messy make-up and glossy eyes. My face wasn’t wet anymore, but I felt the grime of the dried saliva and cum still sticking to my skin.

When his eyes flitted over the carnage left behind, they sparkled with pride. My stomach swooped, falling through the floor all the way down to hell. I could barely breath under such appraising gaze.

Then they jumped to my eyes, watching me for a second before the intensity of his expression melted off into a little smirk, and he turned and left. Again. Walking through those open doors like nothing happened, like nothing was wrong.

He threw one last dark greedy glance over his shoulder and then he was gone.

I did all I could to not collapse under the strain of all that, shaky hands curling into fists by my hips while I stared at the empty space the man occupied up until a few seconds ago. I could still feel the endorphins rushing through my blood from the orgasm, but now that all was said and done all I could do was continue moving forward.

So instead of breaking down, instead of charging out of that stupid fucking room and punching Seonghwa right in the face in front of everyone still covered in his cum (which is what I kind of wanted to do) I turned my eyes to myself and did my best to salvage what I could while my heart raged in my chest.

Any thought that sneaked into my head I snuffed it out, quieting all discord before it could worm itself under my skin. Almost a terrifying clarity took over me, the silence of my mind making the aftermath of what happening feel even worse. No matter what I did, I couldn’t escape it.

I did it again. I did it. Again. With Seonghwa.

I squeezed my eyes shut. Breathed slow through my nose. Tightened my grip over the cold porcelain, trying to ground myself into the density of the material. Into the solidity of the floor under my feet (solidity of the floor under my knees) where I stood (as I kneeled). I squeezed harder. It wasn’t helping.

My body felt strangely light with the absence of Seonghwa’s possessive hands grabbing onto me, and I almost swayed when I pushed away from the sink to walk back onto the terrace to finish the meal. I was stuck with the image of his dark hungry gaze tattooed onto the back of my eyelids, and any time I pushed my fingers through my hair to straighten it I wanted to tug on it as he did, to remind myself. To relive it. I was sick.

When I sat back down into my seat, it was like stepping into a parallel universe. Even my mother seemed to forget I was gone for such a long time and nobody spared me a single glance. The feast has moved on and most of them were now nibbling on a dessert, but I wanted to eat myself away from this so I reached for the leftover meat and potatoes.

God knows what the conversation was about – I certainly wasn’t listening. I clocked in the buzz and hum of it happening, I heard the sounds of plates and dishes and cutlery, of chewing, laughing, teeth clanking. But I didn’t hear.

Everything just felt so normal. I felt like melting. I wanted to melt. My mother threw me a disapproving glance when I reached for more food (so she did see me) and I ignored her as usual. No one else turned, not even Seonghwa – who was now back to quietly enjoying watching everyone else exist from a safe distance.

His eyes didn’t stray to me a single time. I huffed quietly and ate with maddening anger burning me from inside out.

He didn’t look at me again, not that evening and not the day after when we left. I burned.

It was a week and a half later when I started realising something was wrong.

Yujun begun spending a smidge more time at home, the reasons for which were a complete mystery to me at that time – and not like I cared much, since he kept out of my way for the bigger part (which itself was strange). I did notice how he seemed to watch me with a touch of suspicion though. Nothing specific, just… mistrust. At whatever I did. However I moved.

Each day a catalogue of all the things he could feel suspicious about ran through my mind. Did Seonghwa say something? Did he notice anything during the hunting trip? Did he find out about the pills? Was this about the wedding night?

There were too many things I had kept from him, too many things I did that were wrong, and the possibility of him finding out about any of them was frankly terrifying. Yujun was unpredictable and violent, and that was scarier than Seonghwa’s uncertain threats.

And when he came into the bedroom to sleep, even smelling of alcohol, he barely ever bothered me – not even once did he ask for sex, and that was completely unprecedented for my husband. The little pills I’ve grown so reliant on when dealing with him sat untouched hidden in my closet and somehow that made me feel more worried than when I used them on him almost nightly. It felt like the calm right before the storm.

I kept going on with my days, of course I did. What other choice did I have? Yujun’s eyes followed me everywhere, as soon as he got home, and shadows passed over them, darkened them (they were nothing like Seonghwa’s, nothing like his hungry dark orbs). I saw in his gaze how he was trying to figure something out. Like I was a puzzle.

Honestly, it was the most brain activity I’ve ever seen him do, and we’ve been married for almost ten months at that point.

But not knowing what it was that set him off put me on edge. I had no idea what to hide from him, what not to do. Not that there was anything to do about anything concerning Seonghwa. The man went back to his games and hasn’t spoken to me since we left their summer mansion. Not even a glance on the way out, like his fingers weren’t still wrinkled from my pussy. Not even one of his infamous smirks.

It made me strangely upset. Made my heart feel strangely heavy.

Mrs. Park has recently taken up the hobby of making very ugly jewellery, and of course, had to turn that into a ‘small home-run business’, acting as if her husband wasn’t one of the richest men in all of Korea and didn’t finance the whole thing. My own mother in her infinite wisdom thought that having to spend my days with my mother-in-law would finally pressure me into pregnancy – since there was no way she wouldn’t be asking every day, at this point I was surprised she wasn’t full on asking about her son’s dick performance and cum consistency (actually, maybe that was a good thing, because I had that kind of information about the wrong son) – but she took it on herself to rope me into helping her.

God damn me for ever telling my mother I found arts and crafts relaxing.

So now I spent my afternoons sitting in her dust pink saloon toying with pearls and pulling them on strings while listening to her complain about every person that’s ever crossed her path, and desperately ignoring all her attempts to probe into my marriage.

And even then I haven’t seen Seonghwa once.

I made the mistake of asking her about him one time and her expression as she told me he was just ‘busy’ was enough to make me not ask again. Not that I really wanted to know about him (I told myself), but just like before – his sudden disappearance after all the shit he said during our last time together was unnerving me.

What was his plan here? What the fuck did I get myself into?

With dodging Yujun, silently trying to cut out my mother’s bullshit out of my life, having to wait hand and foot on my mother-in-law and fearing what Seonghwa was going to do, I felt like losing my fucking mind. Within ten months my life spiralled completely out of control.

I was nothing but a pawn to them, nothing but a vessel with purpose. Get the family money, birth a child. Take revenge.

I lived in a house with a man I didn’t trust and feared what he could be capable of. I kept putting these misplaced feelings of sympathy on Seonghwa, when he didn’t give a shit about me any more than all the other people in my life.

He was not my friend. He wasn’t even on my side – Seonghwa was always on his own side, and no one else was allowed there. No one sees you like I do, my ass.

No, we were both alone together. That’s all that was. I was handy to him. A useful toy. And just as he said – I’d always let him. Because – just like he said – no one else saw me. So I just kept going, stewing in it all, each day almost physically feeling a bit of my sanity escape me.

And then one day I realised what was going on with Yujun.

All it took was coming home earlier from his mother’s house and going up the stairs too quietly. I knew the second I saw him staggering out of a guest room with his pants half undone – I knew. He started coming home more often because I was rarely there. And some poor maid most likely ended up paying for that.

History does repeat itself, as Kendrick Lamar once said. Sometimes it doesn’t need a reason. He hated his brother for being a bastard, and here he was – tempting the same fate.

He didn’t notice me – because of course he didn’t, he wasn’t the most aware person on his best days, and lately it’s been weird between us. I was half-hidden behind our very decorative banister too, which was just pompous and pretentious enough to hide me out of the clear line of sight while still giving me ample opportunity to peek.

Yujun disappeared into his office. I got up from the stairs and sprinted into the guest room.

I hated being right. Well, at least that day in that instance I did. She was a pretty young thing, with big fearful eyes and long straight hair, so thin I was worried she was going to faint on me when she noticed my form looming in the door like a cryptid. She looked weary though, holding onto her loosened uniform with something heavy settled in her limbs.

For her, it was a day of realisations too, it seemed. And a wife coming home just seconds after her husband fucked you, that’s a bad one. Not many great outcomes out of that one.

She looked to me with tears, the panic taking over her features as she jumped to conclusions about what I’d no doubt do to her for this. I guess that rich ladies weren’t the best clients when their husbands turned out to be cheating bastards unable to keep their hands to themselves. If I was anyone else, she’d be right to be terrified.

But I wasn’t like Mrs. Park that even after years of getting rid of her husband’s unscrupulous affairs and intimidating away poor women that found themselves in the crosshairs of their broken marriage, still ended up with a bastard child always mocking her failure.

And I wasn’t like my mother either – that didn’t speak about it, but even after all the talk she did about me having to sleep with my husband still sighed with relief when my father chose to enter someone else’s bedroom. I guess that she found paying his affair partners away easier than fucking him herself – not that I’d wish that kind of fate on anybody.

“Did he hurt you?” were the first words out of my mouth, and I saw her form tremble. She shook her head once, unsurely, and then twice more with conviction. Tears spilled down her cheeks and her mouth was glued shut with terror. I hoped my own disgust over my husband wasn’t overshadowing my judgement, but I worried for her.

“Are you sure?” This time she didn’t move, just stood there and stared at me with devastated resignation creeping into her eyes. When her lips finally unsealed, all that came out was a sob.

“Am I getting fired for this?” Her cries were getting loud enough to draw unwanted attention, so I quickly turned to slam the door shut. Yujun would now either be drinking or having his post-nut nap anyway, but I didn’t want to risk him hearing us have this conversation. It would be for the best if he didn’t even know I was home yet.

I shushed as gently as I could with the urgency that now ran through my veins, and she immediately shut up, still waiting for the big blow out. Walking closer I took her in – she really couldn’t have been more than twenty years old. She was a new face too, I haven’t registered her around the house much yet, way too used to the older Mrs. Kim that worked for us for all those long, long months.

“What’s your name?” I wanted to get the most important thing out of the way first, and slowly build up to this conversation to ease her mind a bit, but I wasn’t sure how much I could actually get through to her.

“Ha-eun,” she sniffled as she said it, hand going to wipe away the mess on her face, and I handed her a handkerchief. Ha-eun still eyed me with suspicion, but she seemed to have calmed down significantly. Her uniform was still a little messed up from where my husband presumably got his hands on her, and it made for a miserable picture.

“Ha-eun, are you alright?” The girl just kept staring at me, like she expected this all to be a trap, but eventually she nodded. It didn’t seem very convincing, but I didn’t want to push her too much until she fully calmed down. Which didn’t seem to be something she was capable of in that moment.

“I can’t lose this job,” she suddenly sobbed out again, shaking hands grabbing onto me like a follower onto a messiah, praying hands begging and tugging, “my mother-“

“Ha-eun!” I raised my voice lightly and the girl stopped her crying for a moment to look at me, big wet eyes expectantly watching my face for clues. I tried to smile at her, just to be reassuring. Based on her trembling form, I wasn’t sure how successful I was. “You’re not losing your job.”

Once again she nodded and then as if the words caught up to her, she did once more, lips shaking to hold in her distress. She was a bit taller than me, so when I grabbed her shoulders to look properly into her eyes I lost a bit of the effect having to look up, but she honestly looked like a drowned kitten, so it didn’t matter much at all.

“I’m going to ask for the last time,” I didn’t try to sound threatening, but it was surprisingly difficult to word things well when we both were running on very different but definitely very intense emotions, and I didn’t want to push if it turned out she really did like him, “Did he… push you? Or pressure you?” After all, just because I’d rather set myself on fire than touch him didn’t mean everyone else thought that too.

For a few tense silent seconds I felt like the asshole in the situation. Maybe it said more about me than it did about Yujun the way my mind immediately jumped there. I guess he did have a certain charm to him (if you didn’t inspect him much closer) – I could see how he could mess with a young girl’s heart, promising her riches and comfort and a few sweet words, even though he constantly smelled like booze and cigarettes. The Park genes and bank accounts definitely did a lot of heavy lifting, but still. For a split second a certain young handsome face framed by long dark hair flitted into my mind (his fingers in my hair, his hands on my hips) and I shook my head to dislodge the claws he sunk into me, blinking the unbidden memories away.

But then the girl in front of me started crying again, and my heart broke for her.

“I- I can’t lose this job…” That was answer enough. I shook with the sudden uproar of rage taking over me. In my own home. I was sharing a bed with this man. Lived in the same house. He was supposed to be getting me pregnant (I was so glad he wasn’t – I never wanted to carry his spawn). I could scratch myself out of my own skin with the crawling feeling of being married to someone like him.

I had to put my own disgust on pause though, because witnessing my meltdown was the last thing Ha-eun needed right now.

Still I couldn’t stop a very worrying thought from fighting its way to the forefront of my mind.

Yujun fucking someone else in our house and coming to our bed already sated, not asking me to fuck him – that meant he knew to a certain extent that I had been lying to him about our sex life – since he stopped trying to get anything out of me. He probably didn’t know about the pills (otherwise he’d already make a scene) but he must have known I was somehow manipulating him. He most likely also assumed I was getting it elsewhere.

That’s why the suspicious glances. I was right – this was all going to crash down and burn around me faster than I was ready for. I had to do something – but what? That was the golden question.

I wasn’t fucking built for this.

“You’re not losing your job,” I managed to push out through the turmoil, mind half gone, and the girl latched onto that, latched onto me, like it was a saving grace. She thanked me, she thanked me for what she thought was me letting her get assaulted two bedrooms over from my own bed.

“I’ll get you a new job,” I promised, grasping onto her hands so she couldn’t pull away in shock, “a better one, away from all this.” More mistrust, two steps back after the progress we just made. Fear. But I didn’t have time to deal with that right now.

I had to figure out how to help us both.

The next few days were tense in the house, tenser than ever before. I called Mrs. Park and let her know I wasn’t feeling well and not wanting to make her sick I’d stay home for some time until I was sure I wasn’t contagious anymore. She hardly seemed to care, offering me barely a half of a sentence of reassurance before hanging up to go do her own thing. I kind of wanted to cuss her out, but her not caring was the better option of the two. She could have been showing up on my doorstep with chicken broth or some shit. Even though it stung a little, I still had to count my blessings that she wasn’t some helicopter parent.

Yujun was the bigger problem currently. Sometimes during the first two days of us awkwardly hanging around the house he figured out I found out about the affair and now was getting pissy about me cock-blocking him. He stomped around the house throwing hateful glances around like a toddler, embarrassing both himself and me. When he knew I was home, he was locked in his office. He didn’t sleep in the bedroom anymore (I had no idea how to let him know that wasn’t a punishment).

I had no idea what he thought he was going to accomplish with this, but to a man who probably always got what he wanted was throwing tantrums most likely the only way to show his displeasure about not getting his way.

The thing I really struggled with was delivering on my promise though. As I grew up, I cut contact with a lot of people I used to hang around when younger, so there weren’t many ‘friends’ I could ask for a favour and know that I’d be handing Ha-eun over into good hands. My parents were out of the question, because my mother wouldn’t let me deal with it this way. She’d make Ha-eun’s life living hell until she herself wanted nothing to do with any of us. I could never tell her why I wanted our maid to go work for them, and she’d never accept a new person without an explanation.

I messaged Yunho, as at the time he was the only person I was sure about having some manners around the circles in which I ran. He texted back within hours that their house was full, but he’d ask around. A polite version of ‘no, and don’t bother me with it anymore’.

I stubbornly ignored the fact that there was a person I knew that I was decently close to (if you could call us that) who owned a literal hotel, but where I stood right now – I’d rather chew off my own hand than to contact him. It didn’t take very long for me to get desperate though.

Yunho did actually end up asking around, which pleasantly surprised me, but most of the people around us couldn’t care less or didn’t want to get involved in a drama like this. Because a woman getting rid of a maid from her house could only mean one thing, and the fact that I was so vocal about it was seen as very embarrassing and humiliating. They’d for sure laugh about me in private, but wouldn’t do shit outside the bounds of their very comfortable lives.

I knew I couldn’t push it any further just a short few days later though, when while walking down a hallway I heard Ha-eun protesting to someone. With my hackles immediately raised, I stomped over to the room it was coming from.

Our living room was spacy, full of air and light, with minimal décor. I actually kind of hated it, but it wasn’t my house, not really – not in all the ways that mattered, and I didn’t exactly care for re-decorating, so I just let it be. Ha-eun was clearly just in the process of dusting one of the decorative bookshelves when Yujun approached her. He was standing firm and not swaying at all, which honestly surprised me to see. I couldn’t off the top of my head remember when I last saw him closer to sober than tipsy.

The maid saw me first, cause my husband was angled more to have his back to me, and she immediately fell silent, sizing me up with a guilty look on her face and reflected in her teary eyes. It took Yujun all of three seconds of the awkward silence to realise what was happening, and when he turned around he was already scowling with anger.

My gaze slid down his form. He was gripping her wrist, not very gently. As he stood there, stewing in his anger, I shot one pointed glare at his hand, and he dropped it. The room was so quiet I could hear all of us breathe, as we just stood there and glared at each other. Then Yujun just stalked off, breezing past me with a stormy expression on his face, not saying a single word.

I waited until I heard the door to his office slam shut, the boom reverberating through the whole house, before I redirected my attention to the young woman. She was shaking, holding her wrist. There were red imprints on it. I wanted to storm upstairs right after Yujun and beat him to a pulp.

“Go home for today,” I told her, as calmly as possible, and she nodded, “Don’t come in tomorrow. I’ll text you the details of your new job during the afternoon.” She nodded again, this time more fearful, but didn’t argue with me over it, something very resigned settling in her features. I figured that at this point risking losing this job without having a fall-back was the better option to dealing with the man.

The house was eerily silent while I got myself ready to leave, and I casted a few curious glances towards the closed locked door my husband disappeared behind. I was getting really fucking tired of policing everything that happened in these halls, and the prospect of this being the rest of my life made me want to burn it all down. For now though, I’d keep that in the arsenal of options.

As I was walking out of the house knowing full well where I was going, to who, and what was going to happen, I really couldn’t fucking believe I ended up having to resort to that. I kind of hated it, actually – because it felt like this was truly unescapable, like Seonghwa was right when he looked at me like he was inevitable. I hated proving him right. But if he could use me to his means, I could definitely use him for mine. At the end of the day, he did want something from me, and I could do something with that.

I haven’t been to Seonghwa’s hotel since that fateful night, but still as I walked inside the restaurant seemed almost uncannily familiar. I really didn’t want to think about that day though, so I pushed those thoughts aside and steam-rolled towards the reception.

I was worried whether Seonghwa would even be here, and what would I even tell the poor guy sitting behind the counter. How do you storm into a hotel and demand to see and speak to the owner? I kind of wished I’d exchanged numbers with him back before everything happened (though during these months I found myself grateful for not having that connection to him, I couldn’t imagine what he’d be sending me), but now suddenly asking Mrs. Park for his contact info wouldn’t go unnoticed. It’d be weird, and she’d be asking why I wanted to speak to him. No one ever wanted to speak to Seonghwa. No one ever asked for him. He just was everywhere, ready.

And it must have been some sort of black magic, some sort of a cursed sixth sense – because as I was walking up to the reception counter, preparing myself to demand to speak to him – there he was. Casually standing around talking to one of the employees. As I said – just there, ready. Like he sensed I’d be searching for him. Like he knew my life devolved into spinning in his orbit.

It was strange how quickly things could descend into madness – and I haven’t even interacted with the man for weeks at a time.

He had a small soft smile on his face, the polite kind you put on when speaking to people you didn’t know well. No matter what I thought of the man, I had to give that to him – he knew how to wear that mask. How to pretend he was human, just like everyone around him. When he looked at you with that pretty face wearing a gentle smile and spoke softly, you’d trust him with anything.

Seonghwa was what people imagined the devil to be. And I felt crazy for being the only one aware of it, like he was a blind spot. Nobody wanted to see, but I had to – I had no other choice. He showed me, he chose me to know.

The moment his eyes caught mine he was immediately tuned to me, face open and curious, painted with shock. At least I could say I surprised him once.

I walked up, and not bothering with any pleasantries just said: “I need to speak to you.”

All of the employees standing around eyed us with curiosity and interest, probably not used to their boss being spoken to in such manner. I bet most of them didn’t even know who I was, that I was technically his family. Seonghwa’s only answer was his smile shifting a little into the vaguely savage grin I was more used to, and he simply gestured for me to follow him. I did, still not saying anything further.

Seonghwa’s office was sleek and elegant, decorated minimally in mostly black and white with some warm accents to offset the emptiness. It fit him well – pretty but hollow. We both walked in confidently, acting like we were nothing more than simple acquaintances. I hoped my face didn’t betray anything, but I knew the man could probably see the anger swirling somewhere deep within me.

He knew very well what he did and what were the circumstances we parted on, it was all written into his amused smirk as he lead me down the hall.

The lock on the door clicked quietly, but I clocked it immediately, already accustomed to how he did things. This was his turf. He’d close and lock the door. No one interesting to catch the show here – quite the opposite actually. Just a bunch of people trying to make it through their shifts.

Seonghwa was already grinning as he sat down behind his dark desk, a knowing expression settled on his face. I wondered how he knew it’d end up this way. But I guess that when you have no one else you inevitably end up going to the one person you know will indulge you, no matter what.

“What can I help you with?” the cheer in his voice kind of undermined the way he tried to sound professional and business-like, and I fought off a sneer at the blatant display of giddiness. Seeing him, what I wanted to do next required to swallow down my pride, but I could do it.

It definitely wasn’t the worst thing he’s ever made me swallow.

“I need a favour,” I told him point-blank, finding no reason for beating around the bush, “No questions asked.” The man hummed, folding his hands on top of the sleek surface. He gestured for me to go on.

“What kind of favour?” I realised this might have been the only time we actually had a conversation without any sexual undertones, and the normalcy of his tone was almost weirding me out.

“You’ll employ a maid here,” I laid it out for him, giving him no space to protest (not that I thought he would, this was prime opportunity for him), “with proper rates. A good stable job.” That had Seonghwa snorting sardonically, eyes twinkling with condescension. I wasn’t sure whether it was aimed at me or Yujun, but it still made the fire within me roar with barely contained rage.

“Well, that didn’t take long,” he drawled out in that awful mocking voice, “How pregnant is she?”

“Hopefully not at all,” I glared back at him and he smirked right back.

“I see, so just preventative?” he asked jovially, white teeth flashing me with that beastly smile he so often wore.

“I couldn’t care less about what he does and with who,” I fired back immediately, feeling myself get all worked up over this again, “I’m worried about her safety.” He just hummed again, watching me for a few tense seconds, before he opened his arms wide as if stretching them.

“You know what I want in return,” he spoke it so smoothly, like it was the easiest thing in the universe. I supposed to him it might have been, because he demanded. He wouldn’t be hit with the consequences nearly as bad. I frowned at him.

“Is there ever anything else that you think about?”

“Not with you in my sight.” His expression was playful, with a small grin pulling at his lips. Was he fucking flirting right now? Under the intensity of his gaze I couldn’t help but blush slightly at the words, but immediately cursed myself for even listening to such bullshit.

“Do I though? Know what you want?” I shot back, walking a little away from the table to look at the shelves with displayed trinkets. It was mostly photos of Seonghwa with influential people and certificates and awards the hotel won, but there was the stray flower or a piece of art. “It doesn’t feel that way to me.”

To my side the man hummed thoughtfully, leaning comfortably in his chair. “I always thought I was rather clear about that,” he rumbled back, voice taking on a little more seductive tone. But I willed myself not to buckle, not today.

“There’s a lot of people to fuck and entertain you, I’m sure they’d indulge you,” I tried and failed to keep the bitterness out of my tone, and saw Seonghwa frown slightly.

“None of them are you,” he said plainly, like it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

And now it was my turn to scoff and laugh at him with scorn, lips curled in a way that betrayed just how he affected me, just how mad I was going. “Please,” I sneered at him, sharp teeth on display, “don’t make me laugh.”

Seonghwa looked at me wordlessly for a few silent moments, processing the rawness of my emotion in the face of his desire, and then he patted the table in front of him, leaning back into his chair and spreading his legs wide. I watched him for a moment.

“Come on, come here,” Seonghwa said finally when I didn’t move towards him. Seconds ticked by as we were locked in a stalemate, just watching each other – but I never saw his resolve waiver. He’d already become so confident I wouldn’t refuse he didn’t even seem to be worried about whether I’d come to him or not. I tried not to think about that as I finally moved towards the empty space with a sigh.

His hands were on my hips before my ass even hit the wood of the desk, where I leant on it in between his open legs. They reverently caressed my sides, sliding up and down gently and with devotion that put me off, knocked me slightly off kilter. I felt his warmth seep into me, the weight of his hands comforting in a way that unnerved me. I knew then, that I missed it. I felt too loose without him holding me, untethered to the ground.

I’d come to the realisation that I liked the dizziness stemming from his scorching touch.

I watched him as he lost himself to the feel of me under his hands, eyes glued to where he touched, half-lidded and wanting, shrouded in a mist of something almost adoring. My heart sped up under his attention, as it always did – and I was getting tired of the never-ending cycle of shame and guilt that would be no doubt hitting later.

He was either a damned good actor, or this was spinning out of control way too fast (like everything else in my life).

“What are you doing?” I asked the man, and the exhaustion came through in my voice, “What is all of this really about?” At first it seemed like he didn’t hear me at all. He sat still, hands in motion and gaze trained to them, like he didn’t register anything that happened outside of that. Then his hand slowly slid over to my lower abdomen, in a gesture that was by now awfully familiar and made my heart quiver with some sort of macabre suspense.

“Family,” he answered simply, eyes rising to meet mine slowly (so open and wide and telling), “Revenge.” He kept the eye contact, to a point it made me uncomfortable – and yet I couldn’t pull myself away from him, couldn’t break the connection that was struck up between us. “But you already knew that.”

“Revenge…” I tried out how the word tasted on my tongue. Like ash. Like heartbreak. Loneliness. I looked at the man and he was still watching me, steadily returning my gaze. His eyes almost felt hollow in a sense, and I felt that terrible surge of pity again.

“You want a family?” I didn’t even know what I was saying, didn’t know where I was steering this conversation – just that it was all dangerous territory. I should have already known by then. Give him an inch, and he takes a mile (and gets you pregnant). Seonghwa didn’t answer my question though, not really. He just leant in into my stomach, putting his weight on me. I fought off the instinct to bury my hands into his long locks, but I couldn’t stop them from gently settling down on his shoulders. He kept looking at me with those huge eyes, clouded with something I couldn’t quite name, and stayed stubbornly silent. I sighed.

“Why me?” That was the million-dollar question. Why me? This felt beyond what happened between us that first night. That was revenge. Whatever was happening now was a whole different beast.

“You see me.” Something scalding hot poured into my veins, like molten gold – and I couldn’t tell whether it was dread or delight.

Before I could process his words, come to terms with my whole world tilting starboard, Seonghwa was standing up. His body moulded over mine, nose bumping into my stomach and my breasts as he went up, momentarily burying into my neck before his face was suddenly all up in mine.

From this up close I could fully take in his striking features. The blemishless honey-toned skin, dark chocolate eyes, sharply cut cheekbones. The intensity of him burned from here, and I loved getting scorched. I loved the heat.

His hand came up to slowly, gently caress my face, and I let him. I held still for him, lulled in by my treacherous heart. This was all doomed, all of it and both of us. I didn’t even know if he was telling the truth. I never knew if he was telling the truth – that was the trade he was in. A double agent, always working towards some deeper harsher goal.

Nice words were weapons. Seonghwa knew how to wield them.

His thumb passed underneath my eye, pressed lightly into the soft, thin skin. His lips parted, tongue darting out to wet them. He watched the path of his fingers, hypnotised.

“Your eyes,” Seonghwa whispered to me sweetly, “they don’t look through me.” I sighed again.

“Seonghwa-“ But he didn’t let me speak – didn’t let me finish that thought. He was pressing in closer (I wasn’t even aware that was still possible), and our eyes met again.

“Just let me have this,” he said simply and then he was leaning in, lips sliding across my cheek until they found the corner of my lips and settled there gently. I had a split second to make my decision – and I did. My heart trembled and for a brief flash I thought – what about the things I want to have?

But still it wasn’t all that hard to turn my face slightly until our mouth slotted into each other, fitted like they were always meant to end up there. I was used to unyielding ferocity when it came to kissing Seonghwa, but this time he slowly dipped his tongue in my mouth as if tasting me. I matched his energy, I always did (or I tried to), and savoured him.

He kissed me like you’d enjoy fancy wines – sipping leisurely, experiencing, dipping yourself in slowly, submerging your senses in one at a time. Digging for sweetness, appreciating the sourness. I sighed and hummed into his mouth, and he swallowed that down too, like appetisers.

When his hands came up to my thighs to push me onto his table fully, I was already going myself without even needing his direction. He trained me well (history did repeat itself) – I found myself in the same position as on his father’s table all those weeks ago. But this time it was Seonghwa’s office, with his door locked and determination to see this through at an all-time high.

I also didn’t waste a second and threaded my hands into his silken shirt, pulling him with me as I used the momentum to lay down on the table. Seonghwa followed loyally, gracefully bending down to loom over me without breaking the kiss. The only evidence of the movement was the deep breath he released into my mouth as his tongue suddenly dipped deeper, and I moaned quietly into him. I felt his lips stretch into a satisfied smile, fingers digging deeper into my flesh where he clutched at me.

Feeling generous, I went with the flow without waiting for his cues, keeping him glued to me as the kiss devolved more and more into something messy and wet and loud. He shifted closer and our bodies aligned well enough for his hardening bulge to press into my core – so I did what any rational person would do in that situation. Let go of all thought and went to wrap my legs around his hips to pull him closer, feel him drag against me.

The man only chuckled in response, a light sound that carried a hint of arrogance to it (a sound I was beginning to crave), and pushed my legs away. Before I could react he was dislodging from me, pushing me into the table as he straightened and looked down at me. Excitement fizzled through me and I found his eyes easily – they read as much lust as mine must have, dripping with intent.

In a sense, it was liberating. To let go of everything, leave the world behind a door and just feel. I turned off all the things in me that related to anything in the outside world, and let him dip me into debauchery once more.

“You’re such a lazy girl,” Seonghwa whispered, teasing, “You have it too easy with me, don’t you know? I spoil you too much…” His hands slowly moved up my sides to my breasts, each grabbing one roughly, just feeling their weight. I gasped at the touch and my back arched up on instinct, pushing myself more into him. He chuckled again, this time much darker.

“Always just get on your back or your knees,” each word was underlined with a squeeze until I twisted underneath him, desperate, “Always let me do all the work. Do you think you deserve to have it so easy again?” I was barely paying attention to his words, instead focused on how his lips moved – their tantalising drawl, the way they curled so deviously, sensuously. Everything about him was so indecent, so seductive – it was enough to drive a saint mad.

And I was the farthest thing from a saint.

When I failed to respond to him, Seonghwa smirked – like that was the excuse he was waiting for – and stepped back, completely disentangling our limbs and bodies. I put all of my will into not whining for him pathetically. That would inflate his ego, and I wasn’t about to contribute to that. I already did too much for this man’s confidence.

“Get up, darling,” Seonghwa ordered, strict and no-nonsense, like a man expecting to be obeyed no matter what. And I was nothing if not eager to please. I was on my feet quickly, so quickly that my head spun for a few brief seconds and I had to clutch the table for support.

Seonghwa either didn’t notice or he didn’t care, because he was more occupied with pushing me out of the way and situating himself to sit and lay down on the table himself. With his height it was a bit of an awkward position – his feet brushed the floor in an arch that didn’t look very comfortable and his head hung over the edge on the other side, but he looked perfectly comfortable if the shit-eating grin on his face was anything to go by.

One of his hands swiftly patted his lap and he winked at me. “Come, climb on top, doll.” He wanted me to ride him on his office desk. I felt my cheeks heat up, but I still wordlessly undid my skirt and let it drop to the ground. Seonghwa’s sparkling eyes glided over the exposed skin of my legs, but I didn’t give him much chance to ogle before I was propping myself up on the table and settling down in his lap. His hands automatically shot out to grab onto my hips, and in this position I was directly on top of his now hard-rock cock.

Before I could stop myself I was gyrating on him, chasing the faint sparks of pleasure it provided. I was too tired that day to pretend I wasn’t enjoying myself, or to fight this out of some misplaced loyalty and shame. I spent months escaping this and here I was anyway, back in his grasp – so why should I care for propriety at this point?

I set up a nice rhythm and just let myself go, let myself drown in that tidal wave of looseness of muscles and limbs that pleasure always brought on, with my head empty of all except his hands on me.

“W-what are you even talking about?” I stuttered out, eyes closed and head thrown back, living through the feeling of Seonghwa’s hands on my hips dragging me onto his cock again and again, “See you? I ca-can barely stand to look at you.” That drew a deep rumbly chuckle out of the man, so low I felt the vibrations reverberate through me where I sat on top of him.

I didn’t know why I felt the need to return to this now, but the unfinished conversation niggled at my insides – we were so close to some monumental revelation, right on the doorstep of a revolution. I couldn’t let him kiss it away.

“That’s a lie, darling, and you know it,” he purred back at me, draping me in sweet velvet as his hands moulded me to his liking, “Your eyes can’t ever stop following me when you’re with me. It’s exhilarating, knowing how much you need to see me.”

And the thing was – he was right. I never did not look at him. As soon as he entered a room, I was aware of him from beginning till end, of every little thing he did or said, even of how he breathed. How he looked when happy, when sad, when angry, when mischievous. He was like a lure – your eyes just couldn’t pull away.

A fly in a spider’s web, spun round and round and round, dazed with poison and consumed, slowly, deliciously. That’s how it felt to look into his eyes.

And yet he was right – I did it every single time.

“Then what was all the shit during the hunting trip about?” I asked breathlessly, hips stuttering as I was getting distracted again, “All the talk you did then, about owning me, huh? You always humiliate me. Scorch me and then walk away, make me feel like a piece of shit, make me feel angry. Make me hate you.”

“Welcome to my family, doll,” he sneered at me sardonically, hurt pulling at his features. So much pain and anger in one person, it almost seemed impossible – and yet here I was, face to face with it.

He beckoned me with two fingers, and like a puppet on a string I leant in towards him, settling down on him chest to chest. The scowl disappeared as quickly as it came, melted into a teasing grin while both of his hands slowly crept up my outer thigh until he was playing with the seat of my panties with his arms wrapped around the back of my thighs.

All incentive to finish the conversation left me, burying those uneasy feelings away under the wave of desire that consumed me.

I felt my core throb and squeeze at his touch, anticipatory and already slick where his fingers met with bare sensitive skin. I shuddered on him at the feather-light teasing touch, the way he skimmed around the wet pink flesh without really committing to a place to touch to drive me insane, and I throbbed even harder as another wave of slick rushed out of me.

Seonghwa took his sweet time coating his fingers in my wetness, playing around, occasionally pressing on my clit to hear me keen into his neck. The wave of want was rising in me, nothing in me but the mindless desire to feel full of him, for him to quench that need to feel pleasure from any touch he’d bestow on me.

My hips moved almost on their own, shuffling and straining to lead his fingers where I wanted them, but they stayed ever so elusive. I heard the man chuckle into my hair and rose my head to look at him.

The look in his eyes was much darker than the playful grin stretched on his lips, and that’s how I knew he’d cave in soon. Because no matter how much Seonghwa tried to keep his cool and stay in control, I saw how easily he slipped into the haze, how he lost himself in lust when a wet pussy was presented to him.

He couldn’t ever resist the pull.

And just as I thought – the moment our eyes met and the arousal flared between our gazes, his fingers were very decidedly sliding through my folds and slipping inside. He started off with two right away, and even though I’ve been getting wetter by the second, it took a bit of work to stuff them both inside – but then he took up a slow, intense pace, stroking inside with firm motions that left me feeling how the waking fire begun licking up at my tummy.

I sighed and moaned, eyes falling shut with the surge of sensations. I let my head fall back down onto his chest, burrowing into his crisp clean shirt and drowning in his spicy woodsy perfume that overwhelmed my senses.

Relief. All I could feel was immense relief, wrapped nicely in a touch of building ecstasy as Seonghwa gradually sped up his hands, fucking into me with more and more force. My pussy squeezed around the digits, felt every inch, ridge, knob. I loved the way they reached so deep inside, and I let him know by moaning out louder every time they bumped into the bundle of nerves deep inside of me, while the palm of his hand pressed down on my clit with every thrust.

I wasn’t sure if it was by the position, where I was all spread for him with my legs splayed wide over his hips with my back arched and ass on display, or by the situation itself (or because it’s been so long since I last had him), but I could feel the orgasm building in me faster than I was used to. It was honestly kind of humiliating how easily he could break me down in the most primal and primitive way the moment he got his paws on me, with nothing but a couple of well-aimed strokes.

Seonghwa didn’t seem to plan to let me have this without him though, because as soon as he felt me tightening around him as my moans carried higher and higher, he pulled his fingers out. I raised my head immediately with a disgruntled moan and it was enough to just catch a glimpse of his self-satisfied smirk before his arm sneaked around my waist and pulled me closer to his neck.

I was confused for a moment, head buried in his hair and taking in the scent of him, when I felt his hand messing around somewhere on his lap and I realised – he was trying to open his pants without pushing me away. The dress pants perfectly hugged his waist (a man like him wouldn’t wear anything that wasn’t hand-tailored to him) so I didn’t even have the sounds of a belt buckle to go off of. I only knew he succeeded when he moved both his hands down and started shuffling around to pull the pants down.

It was actually quite funny, and I released a few amused chuckles at his struggle. Which did not go unnoticed.

Before I registered him moving, I was being pulled roughly to sit on his very naked and very hard cock, the length throbbing underneath my wet core. The moment I could get any kind of stimulation again, the amusement was long forgotten and I didn’t waste a second and started writhing on top of him, jerking my hips unevenly back and forth and drenching us both in my wetness.

A half of a strangled moan escaped Seonghwa before he caught himself, hands shooting out to grab onto the meat of my hips to stop the movement. His nails dug into the skin there with the strength of his grasp, the sting heightening the pleasure and making everything richer. For a brief moment our eyes met, his darkened with so much potent lust I shuddered, and then he was pulling me up to get me on his cock.

It took a few tries and both of us were already half mindless at this point, but when I felt him slip inside it was like finally getting a sip of cold water after wandering through the desert for days, weeks. Months. Almost nine months.

It was like coming home, and I could cry with the relief.

I went to grab onto his shoulders but was met with heated fabric instead – and suddenly came to the realisation that he hasn’t undressed again. Agitated, I started tearing into his buttons, probably taking some out with the force I used to open his shirt and slide it off his shoulders and arms until the sleeves hung over the side of the table.

Seonghwa’s beautiful sculpted chest came into view, and I remembered back to that night – when we were in a similar position and he buried himself in me, in kissing me, marking me, biting me. My hands reverently glided over the darkly flushed skin, worshipping all that deadly strength hidden under the softness and grace, and the man let me. He watched me, hands pulling me firmly onto his lap, as I was swallowed into that haze.

And when I leant down to lick at the skin, he didn’t stop me. With every tentative flicker of my tongue, every shy kiss or a shallow bite I distributed, he sighed gently and stayed still, taking my worship with impatient grace.

The room was quiet except for our pronounced breathing, nothing seeping in from outside – not through the door, not through the walls. Our eyes met, my hips jumped, he groaned. There goes the silence, I thought as I swirled my hips on him, savouring the feeling of his cock lodged as deep inside me as it could go.

The table creaked and for a split second I worried if it could take us, but then Seonghwa was using his hands to help me move in little circles, subtly pulling me faster, faster, until my brain felt scrambled at how his tip grazed and pressed on the delicious little spot all the way inside me. Neither of us said anything, but neither of us broke the eye contact either. We just moved, instinct overriding all else.

His scalding hot skin underneath my body was beginning to burn into me in such a familiar way I sighed at the sensation. I closed my eyes and let the press of our bodies speak for itself, my face subconsciously finding the crook of his neck to bury myself there and cover myself in him.

My hand slid down his side, feeling each rib on its journey. Seonghwa, for someone so bitter, was always so full of life – and only here, like this with him, I could feel all that life spill into me through our touch. I never felt quite so alive as when I felt his chest expand with pleasured breaths underneath the pads of my fingers. I heard him sigh out, and something on the table cluttered. It was a soft sound. I wondered what he saw, what he looked at.

His hands on my hips tightened before they slid up and slowly tugged off my own shirt, which I completely forgot I still had on. Instead of raising my arms (which would mean not touching Seonghwa), I squirmed and wormed until it fell down my arms onto his stomach before I quickly threw it off to the side. I was expecting him to for my bra next, but he didn’t. When his hands caressed their way back down, he grabbed onto my hips with such a force I felt his fingers dig into the meat of my ass.

His hips pressed up, and where I still held onto his waist I felt his back arch off of the table lightly with such a quiet groan I would have missed it if it wasn’t for the silence in the room. And just like that fire roared in me again, arousal pouring over me like hot summer air – pushing its way into my lungs and stealing my breath, covering me whole.

I gradually sped up, kept going with every little moan it punched out of me, every sigh of pleasure it earned from him, until I was riding him in earnest to the symphony of the table shifting on the floor and the wood of it creaking softly. Until I felt his cock slide out and then hammer back in with every new maddening swirl, especially when Seonghwa started working his hips in earnest too.

That’s when I finally opened my eyes again – when his first thrust knocked the breath out of me on a surprised moan, and I scrambled to find purchase on the smooth planes of his torso. His gaze was trained on me, right where I left it, dark pupils blown wide as he took me in while I moved on top of him.

Maybe someone would call this nothing more than cheap thrills – but there wasn’t anything that felt cheap about this. It felt like more than it should have been. On the contrary, these were very expensive thrills – expensive with consequences among other things.

We fell into a rhythm very quickly, bodies moving in tandem, thrust for thrust and groan for groan. The terrible sound of wet skin clapping against wet skin thundered through the office, but I didn’t have it in me to feel embarrassed about anyone outside hearing. Not when I heard that desperate edge in Seonghwa’s moans, not when I felt myself squeeze again and again around his throbbing length, when it filled me so good, when the pleasure was making it hard to think of anything at all.

I was blanking, mind wiped of anything other than his dark eyes boring into me. Seonghwa rearranged his grip on my hips and then he was railing into me from bellow, punching desperate moans out of my throat. I let gravity help me, pull me down onto his cock, and his hands to pull me back up, only to drop me down once more. The force of it all turned everything very loud, the quiet atmosphere now broken with how close we were to ruining each other.

Though Seonghwa would no doubt argue that he’s already ruined me a long time ago, the silly egotistic man he was.

The dark-haired man groaned very loudly, completely unabashed in his pleasure. I felt his fingers slip around with sweat, I even felt it trickling down my back, felt it where my ass met his thighs, felt it clinging to my pubes, to my arousal. I could smell it on us, in the air. Saw it wetting his hair when I finally brought myself to focus back on him.

Seonghwa glistened, and the desk shook, and our eyes rolled back, and the pleasure built. It was all so overwhelming. So close to bursting. I always felt close to bursting at the seams around Seonghwa.

One of his hands slipped down between us to bump around my pussy and press onto my clit, but it was so hard to do with the pace and the wild thrashing of our bodies, so it only served to tease me more than offer relief. I still took it, happily, needily.

“You know, though-“ Seonghwa gasped out – and here it was again. His never tired mouth, so eager to spill all those truths the moment he got his cock in me, always needing to share, to be heard. And I listened. “You know…hhhng- that you’re mine.”

The way we breathed so hard prevented me from reacting in any way except for my eyes snapping to his blown-out ones. They were wide and honest, a mockery with almost a touch of desperation. But so, so open in a way only sex could bring out.

“I don’t- belong to anyone,” I struggled to speak through the rising fire consuming me from the inside out, I could feel my climax building with every thrust, every stroke, every time his cock hit me just right. Seonghwa’s expression betrayed just how close he was getting too – not even the cocky smirk he tried to send me could hide how his lips curved into moans, or the way his hazy eyes slipped closed ever so often.

My thighs were killing me, burning and screaming with every movement, but the peak was just there, right around the corner. I gritted my teeth and ground down with determination. Seonghwa’s grip tightened and the man groaned desperately, eyes almost gone, but soon his mouth was running again.

“Y-you don’t have to wear my mark- to- to- know it’s there,” as he pushed the sentence out through the strain, his chin jerked to where my hand laid on his frantically jumping chest. The one where I wore my rings, which glittered under the light and shone with beautiful contrast to his honey skin.

I wanted silver. I liked it more. It was the only thing that went my way this marriage. The only thing in which someone cared for my opinion. I watched the diamond sparkle as my hand slipped on his sweaty chest. I could see his wild eyes trained on me obsessively from the corner of my eye, taking in my reaction.

I willed my hips to slow down, to take their time and leisurely bounce in his lap, but the intensity of the encounter still continued rising, and at this point there wasn’t anything any of us could have done to stop our oncoming orgasms. Seonghwa’s brows furrowed together and his breath hitched, but he quickly matched my tempo. The force of his thrusts were still enough to knock groans out of me on every stroke, and now with us going slower it’s like I felt his cock even more viscerally.

It was so hard to think about anything else, my mind was overheating under Seonghwa’s skilful hands. The man was too good at reducing me into a mindless animal, swaying and writhing on him with only goal in my mind – and the singular consolation prize was that he was just as gone, face flushed and eyes dazed.

“You- you k-know,” I stuttered out, pushing my brain to work so I could push this weight back onto him, to get back at him as always – cause that’s what we did, we provoked the other until we hit a truth that then couldn’t be hidden anymore, and everything became much too real. And I was about to do it again – unleash something that deep down we both must have realised long ago, but haven’t spoken into existence yet.

“You know, that even if- you get me preg-nant,” my tongue and lips were not cooperating with me, so heavy and useless with the bliss coursing through my veins I could barely stammer the sentence out, “it won’t- it won’t be your child.” It was a whole mouthful, but so was Seonghwa.

The man’s eyes ignited with something that made me shiver, that put a little bit of fear back in my heart when it started growing so comfortable with the pity he elicited. It’s like he kept tricking me into forgetting what he did, what kind of person he was. And I kept falling for it, until the wolf under his skin showed his teeth again and I knew, that I fell deeper each time.

Seonghwa’s hands came back to grip my hips, harder this time, until his fingers dug deep into the soft skin and flesh there, like he was clawing at me. I released a whimper at that, and my hips stuttered, almost distracting me from what I was trying to do with my words – and he knew that, that arrogant fucker.

He pulled me onto himself harder, slamming me onto his cock as he thrusted up, his tip ramming into the sweet spot. The room was overcome with the squelching sound of my wet pussy as he pounded away, the slapping of damp skin and my moans hitting crescendo.

This orgasm felt like a freight train, rushing towards me where I laid tied up on the tracks. I knew it would hit me with a force that would tear me apart, I knew it was inevitable and so close. My stomach tightened and cramped, pussy pulsated. I felt his cock throb too, almost bursting. Everything around me sped up, twisted around, melted and deformed. I could feel my world getting crushed under the pull of Seonghwa’s specific brand of ecstasy.

“But I’ll know,” the man under me rushed out, eyes blown wide and so, so wild. Our gazes met and it was like everything snapped into place, I couldn’t pull away from him even if I wanted to. Our bodies collided, again and again, and again. I couldn’t hold back my moans, feeling the pleasure rush through me, faster and harder, making my blood boil in my veins.

One of my hands slipped down between our bodies, desperate to give me the last push I needed, to continue where Seonghwa left off. He didn’t care for it, didn’t smirk or grin, didn’t chastise me, no smart remark or anything. His whole body shook beneath me, just as desperate as mine to finally hit that high.

“We’ll know,” he gasped out just as I felt myself slam into it, bliss pouring over me and burning me to crisp, like a lightning hitting me. My thighs shook and my toes curled, as I cried out loud enough to have the whole building hear. I didn’t care, not when Seonghwa’s gaze was still on me, still drinking everything in, hungrily scarfing down all my expressions and sounds, or the way my pussy squeezed around him in a way I knew drove him absolutely crazy.

“We’ll know,” he groaned again and finally his eyes rolled back in bliss, mouth open on his beautiful high-pitched moans. His cock twitched and spurted inside me, filling me with warmth, with life. But I still didn’t stop my hips, like I ran on residual energy and the inertia pushed me forward until I milked him of everything he had. His hips strained too, instinctually driving deeper as he spilled himself, pushing me onto him to prevent me from bucking off his cock.

The table absolutely shook under us, creaking for its damn life, before we both hit stop and fell down, tired and sweaty and breathy, a tangle of wet limbs and hair. The room smelt kind of horrendous, but I hardly cared with my faced plastered to Seonghwa’s chest that jumped up and down jerkily with every desperate breath he drew in.

I was almost surprised there wasn’t steam rising from our bodies, because the heat was encompassing, settling over us alongside the calm and stillness that overtook everything; now that all the energy was released.

As soon as I started being more aware, I realised that Seonghwa’s hands were now mindlessly caressing over my hips and back, fingertips lazily pressing patterns into my heated flushed skin. We both still tried to catch our breaths, and I found myself guiltily liking the way we rose and fell in tandem with each other, making me think back to that expensive bathroom – to the way Seonghwa’s eyes reflected so much pleasure, like I was the one touching him and not the other way around. A hive mind of bliss.

And thinking back to that time, today I couldn’t quite bring myself to pull away like I did then, full of anger and frustration. I liked the way Seonghwa coddled me after, how he held me close. Like this mattered, like we mattered. Like we weren’t two absolute fuck-ups playing with something way beyond our powers. Well, maybe not beyond his powers, but I surely felt like a fish out of water here.

Neither of us said anything, the silence stretching to a point that we both knew it was a conscious decision instead of a by-product of our little tryst. I could feel the way the dark-haired man’s fingers stilled here and there, as if waiting for me to tear myself away and march out of this room, like I would have in the past. Like I should have, really.

The position couldn’t have been comfortable for him at all, with this head and legs hanging off awkwardly off the desk, but he didn’t seem to be too perturbed by that. Quite on the contrary – there was something almost content about the way he messed with my hair and hummed under his breath more to himself, almost as if forgetting I could hear him.

Once again I got the all-consuming premonition that this was about more than just envy and revenge. Something changed. Something. During the first night, his eyes spewed hate, and his tongue spat pure poison all nicely wrapped up in sweetness. He aimed to hurt, to humiliate, to let me know just what he thought of us both and what this was about for him.

Today his hands gripped at me with air of possessiveness and pride.

That thought was what finally propelled me to get up from him, even though the way our skin peeled away from each other where it matted together by dried sweat actually made me sad to be losing that contact, and the movement only ended up pushing me further into his lap and onto his soft cock.

There was a sigh from the man, one that wordlessly spoke of the same regret I was beginning to feel over tearing the comfort away, but otherwise Seonghwa continued to hold his tongue, not losing a single sentence. He watched me though, as he so often did and as I so often tried to ignore (even though I already knew that was an impossible task).

Somewhere in the room a phone started vibrating, generating a loud and distracting hum as it skittered off over the floor. None of us looked towards it, we just sat there and pretended we weren’t casting curious glances towards each other, asking what now.

Seonghwa’s hands settled over my hips again, gripping and pushing again, and then I could feel it – his cock slowly twitching back to life, valiantly fighting to harden again. I rolled my eyes at him and scoffed, and he only grinned. It felt too light of an interaction, and that was wrong.

The last words he said slammed into me like a brick wall, suddenly and overwhelmingly, and my heart stopped for a moment when I finally found the brain power to dissect them. My pussy longingly throbbed over his length, and Seonghwa groaned lightly, but I still forced myself to move up and start climbing off.

I caught a glimpse of Seonghwa’s confused eyes before he scrambled to follow after me.

“What-“ his words got interrupted by the phone setting off again, loudly demanding attention with an incoming call. With a bit of start I realised it must have been my phone, since the noise was coming from the direction of my discarded handbag. That couldn’t mean anything good.

No one ever called me for anything good.

I ignored whatever it was Seonghwa was about to try and bend me to his will with and moved to go get it, only for him to swiftly plaster himself completely to my back, naked skin to naked skin. He must have lost the pants somewhere along the way, and his fingers were already sneaking up to undo my bra while his other arm snaked around my waist to steer me back to the table. Only now he was pushing me to bend over it, just like I was expecting him to do back when he first beckoned me to come closer.

Maybe that’s why I went so easy.

So easy, it was so easy to let myself be pushed into the wood, so easy to wordlessly spread my legs wider before he even pressed closer, so easy to clench around his thickness when he effortlessly slid back in without an ounce of resistance.

So easy to cry out softly with the first thrust and sigh under the gentle patterns his hands drew into my back and hips. Any rational thought I managed to cling onto in those precious moments between the all-consuming inferno that our interactions always devolved into, those where all gone now, pouring out through my ears while the lust and arousal flared up so intensely it choked me up. Or it might have been the way Seonghwa wasn’t pulling any punches now that he was back in power.

The phone started vibrating and humming for the third time before it fell silent for good, but all I could see behind my eyelids was Seonghwa’s face as he was cumming under me with a smart retort still hanging onto his lips. I had a feeling the way his hips rammed into me now was the new smart retort, this one very pointedly telling me it’s no use trying to run away from the pleasure.

And even now he wasn’t holding back on those sounds, letting it all flow out his mouth freely and unabashedly, like he craved the whole hotel to know just how much he was enjoying fucking me behind everybody’s back. The way he was holding onto me, pushed me into the wood, pinned me under his weight, and I just stood there with quivering trembling legs and let him ravage me, unsure whether the wetness sliding down my thighs was a new wave of arousal or his previous load. I thought to myself that he probably liked having me that way, but then all thoughts melted away and all that was left was pure bliss.

This time things were escalating even faster, spiralling into another mind-numbing climax before I even really had time to process the situation we found ourselves in. It was like I was three times as sensitive, especially to the way he clung onto me desperately, like he couldn’t handle the thought of me walking away before giving him a full chance to take me as many times as our bodies could take.

This time around Seonghwa fucked me like he wanted to prove himself to me, and I found I might have been a little too receptive to that from how fast I was ready to come around his cock again.

Then, the landline on the table started ringing, and ice filled my veins. This was no coincidence.

Seonghwa didn’t even stutter in his pace as he leant over me to reach it, and for a few seconds I fell into the wishful thinking that he was just going to decline the call. But then the click of the phone being picked up rung through my ears and I damn near held my breath.

Suddenly I was hyper aware of all the sound in the room – the still creaking desk, though it was much quieter than when we laid on it, the absolutely debauched wet squelch as Seonghwa happily pounded away into me, the way our breathing couldn’t quite hide the exertion. There was no way the person on the other side wouldn’t be able to pick up on these, but I still prayed.

“Yeah?” Seonghwa already sounded so incriminatingly breathy with that one word, and I squeezed my eyes shut while I willed myself to keep completely silent. Then he was chuckling. The phone hit the table next to me, and I was suddenly able to faintly hear the man on the other side.

“Was Y/N there today?” Yujun growled into the receiver in his usual irritable tone. My heart dropped. What the fuck was Seonghwa doing?

I flailed under him as quietly as I could without actually audibly panicking, but he only leant on me harder, keeping me still and pushed into the table as his hips took on a much harder pace, taking the time to pull out almost all the way before slamming in hard enough to have me knocking into the wooden edge in a way that elicited both a tang of pain and boundless pleasure. Stars danced in front of my eyes and my hands shot out to grab onto the opposite edge to ground myself against the onslaught of sensations, internally cursing Seonghwa to high heaven and back.

“She was,” the man in question answered, and I imagined he’d be giving me a cheeky look, lips turned into a satisfied smirk, if we were facing each other. Instead I focused on pushing my face harder into the unyielding wood, hoping to at least muffle myself a little bit. Somehow, it felt like that only made it worse though.

I was surprised Yujun didn’t notice the huskiness of Seonghwa’s voice, didn’t hear how winded he was getting, how he was fighting to not trip over his tongue, didn’t hear the panting in-between his words. Or maybe it was just me who was always so tuned in to him, who couldn’t not notice every single thing he did.

I wondered how he looked right now. What was the expression on his face. Did his lips curl in a manner that was much crueller than when he spoke to me? Did his eyes look at me like we were both in on the secret and not like I was the tool?

(How did he truly feel about me?)

“She left right after she asked her favour,” Seonghwa said next, tone as level as he could hold with his hips still wildly pistoning into me, and I swallowed down the gasp of surprise at him lying for me. I didn’t think he’d sell me out, but straight up lying that I had already left? I wasn’t expecting him to go the extra mile.

On the other hand, if he wanted me to carry his child and pass it off as Yujun’s, he couldn’t exactly have the man know this was going on.

There was a beat of silence on the line before a bit of a technical buzz carried through, along with the man’s angry inhale.

“And did you grant her the favour?”

I wished so bad I could have seen Seonghwa and not be buried head first into his desk. I tried to turn around, just enough to catch a glimpse, but he was still pinning me to the wood, now almost mindlessly that he was focused elsewhere. His hips slowed down too, shallowly fucking into me and using just enough force to tease the current of pleasure underneath the surface. For the first time I didn’t think he was doing it on purpose, not when I felt his fingers twitch with annoyance where he held me.

“Of course I did,” Seonghwa’s tone was stone-cold, cold enough to almost instinctively make me shiver. I’ve never heard him like that, he always put on his ass-kissing tone whenever he spoke in front of his family. He sounded sleazy, maybe, but never this hostile.

It reminded me of our first night, when he’d get angry with me for mentioning his brother. I guess that was just a bit of his true self he didn’t mind showing. Though, through today I’ve probably seen a couple of other parts too – oh, the privilege.

Yujun on the other side growled, frustration dripping off of him even through a phone. “Stay the fuck out of my family’s business,” he gritted through his teeth, and I imagined his handsome face all screwed up in a grimace. When he acted like a petulant child, he just had this look about him, and I couldn’t unsee it. Somehow he even looked like a five-year-old throwing a fit, it was crazy. And hilarious. When it wasn’t happening to me.

Seonghwa wasn’t as amused as me though, that much was clear from the shaky inhale I heard behind me. His hips even jerked forward with that sudden rush of anger, and I bit my lip until I swore I could feel it tear to stop myself from moaning out loud.

I fucking couldn’t understand how he kept his composure.

“Your family’s business? I’m family too, Yujun, be so kind to remember it,” Seonghwa spit out with vitriol I haven’t witnessed from him yet – I was slowly beginning to realise that what I thought was his worst behaviour might have been him being nice, actually, “And it’s good that I took care of it, before it became a problem. Who do you think would end up having to deal with it anyway once your mother caught wind of what was going on?”

But those words were fighting words, and they had the stick in Yujun’s ass on fire real quick. With the sound of violent movement on the other side of the line, I was pretty sure that had this been a face-to-face conversation, he’d be throwing a punch right about now. My husband just was that way, always hitting first and thinking later. And Seonghwa just seemed really good at pushing the wrong buttons.

“You? Family? A fucking half-blooded mutt off the streets?” now this was real anger in Yujun’s voice, coming from a deep dark ugly place inside him, a place that grew from being coddled too much while being hated at the same time. “You’ll always be beneath me, Seonghwa, you better remember that.”

All the tension and air I’ve been holding back released in a barely audible gasp at the turn of the conversation. Seonghwa behind be grinded to a halt, like the meaning of the words took a second to truly catch up to him. Silence took over, deep uncomfortable tense quiet that settled over us like a blanket made of sharp rocks, and for a moment nothing moved. I didn’t even dare to breathe.

“I would have dealt with it myself.” My husband’s grating voice cut through the atmosphere, completely oblivious to the bomb he set off on my side of things. A conceited arrogant little tiger, pissing into a dragon’s river.

“I know what it looks like when you ‘deal’ with things,” the dark-haired man’s response was scathing in tone, condescending and full of scorn, but it did set him back into motion. I didn’t realise the intent behind his hips in that second, but I knew exactly what he was trying to do a moment later when suddenly they barrelled into me with such force I felt my entire core squeeze down and ignite through the torrent of painful pleasure.

Even the best trained soldier wouldn’t be able to keep that moan from clawing its way out of their throat. It rang through the room, loud and clear and desperate, as my head spun with barely contained delirium, followed by a quieter drawn out whine when the man took the opportunity to grind his hips into me and torture that sweet receptive spot even more.

He himself released a little pleased sigh, like he was also finally more attuned to the burning need for stimulation after teasing it out for the both of us to fight with his fucking brother over the phone.

Mortification set in, rapidly growing into anger like I haven’t felt in a while. That fucking dick did that on purpose. He wanted to get back, and he fucking played with both of our lives – I could even almost remember the exact moment he decided what he’ll do out of pettiness – when he took a breath right before speaking.

I wanted to turn around and hit him, to push him away and scream at him, to pull his beautiful fucking hair and spit on him, but Seonghwa did no longer care for the phone call and pounded away, chasing that rush and unabashedly groaning at every squeeze my cunt gave him. And all that came out of my mouth instead of screams were angered moans.

“You fucking pig,” I heard Yujun spit out in disgust, his voice buried under the hum in my ears, the crackling of pleasure overriding my brain, head stuffed full of cotton and no thoughts beyond finally getting that second orgasm.

I didn’t even notice when the line started beeping, signalling the call had been ended, not when Seonghwa was suddenly pressed into my back, cackling like a fucking maniac – like he didn’t just gamble with everything for the cheap satisfaction of pissing off his brother. My lips pulled into a grimace, teeth snapping through the groans as I was so mad, so mad I could cry, burst out, but I just couldn’t stop chasing that high.

I would have fucking died for the bliss he offered.

“What kind of a husband,” Seonghwa gasped into my ear gleefully, “doesn’t recognise his wife’s moans?” There was a murmur of something more, but I couldn’t make it out through my insides melting under him.

“Yujun- Yujun’s never fucked me,” I gritted through my teeth, words moulded around moans and sighs. I felt the table move and shake under us, especially since Seonghwa’s been just gaining speed and power, pounding away until I was so overwhelmed with all my senses I fought to just get those words out. “O-only you, only- you-“

I had no idea why I felt the need to emphasise that – out of all of the things I wanted Seonghwa to hear, the ones that would make him even bolder definitely weren’t the ones that should have been falling from my lips. But then he gasped behind me, growling so low in his throat it sounded like a prattling purr, and I was lost to my spinning head once more.

I felt his hands tighten around my hips, felt his burning body, sweaty chest melted into my back, muscles on his thighs jumping with every thrust that sent them hitting into mine. His winded breath in the crook of my neck, slick lips sliding over the skin in a messy half-kiss.

“O-only me,” the words sounded like they were punched out of him, and he pressed closer, desperate to merge into me, make us two parts of a whole – something no one else in our lives ever gave us before, something no amount of discount affection could buy – something only him promised with the fire behind his eyes.

I arched under him, presenting to him and pushing back into his thrusts, eyes rolled back and a continuous ringing sounding through my ears.

“Only me!” he might have been shouting, but it felt like a whisper against my overloaded senses, I felt it more than heard it, before the orgasm was slamming into me violently and robbing me of the last breath I had left. I registered my mouth opening on a wheezing scream, I felt my toes curl where they dug into the floor, hands clasped into the wood of the desk where I had to be leaving imprints and scratches at this rate.

My whole body seized as ecstasy exploded over me and everything went white for a few seconds. I distantly registered Seonghwa’s hips jerking as he pumped me full of his cum for the second time, his damp breaths hitting my back where he laid his sweaty face onto my shoulder blades.

I felt melted. When the waves of the climax finally started mellowing, leaving me standing on shaky legs with my fingers hurting and red from how hard I gripped the table. I was sliding on the smooth surface, feeling an immense heat coming from inside, while my skin started feeling the coldness of the air in the room.

Where Seonghwa touched, everything felt even more amplified, but I was relieved to hear he was just as wrecked by this experience. It was easy to tell – the man that was all about composure and staying in control was crumpled behind me, panting heavily and mumbling something I was too fried to comprehend.

It took us a long time before either of us felt composed enough to talk – at some point Seonghwa gathered enough wit and energy to move us into his chair, and I found myself in his lap, back to stomach, heart to ribs, mouth to ear. And we just sat silently, soaking in the atmosphere.

I knew something heavy was about to be said. Or done. A world was about to crash down, and we sat there, naked and blissed out, careless and cruel and stupid. His fingers curled in my hair, pushing the strands around gently. I didn’t know Seonghwa was capable of gentleness, not true gentleness at least.

I didn’t want to look at him, I didn’t want to see the expression he wore on his face. I wasn’t sure what it would be, but I knew seeing it would change something in me, and I didn’t want that. I was quite comfortable in my well, but what laid beyond the walls – that was all wilderness, all Seonghwa. He prowled those parts, like a hungry desperate wolf.

But maybe I had more dog in me than I thought.

Maybe he was right, and maybe he saw the same beastliness flash in my own eyes when he looked at me. Maybe that’s why he never looked away. Even now, I could feel his eyes burning into the side of my face, always so starved of attention.

“That was more than reckless,” I whispered finally, breaking the pattern of soft breathing that was filling the room with at least some presence, “that was dangerous, Seonghwa. Stupid.” I felt something clawing at my throat, some emotion I wanted to swallow. Desperation and disappointment – that for every revealed truth, there was an act of madness, for every inch given a mile was taken.

The man rumbled beneath me, but otherwise showed no indication that my words even reached his ears. My heart sank. If my life became the equivalent of being stuck on a deserted island, why was this the man that had to sink with me?

“He’s never fucked you?” he asked only, something almost proud shining through in his voice and I sighed.

“No.” Petulantly I didn’t want to give him more if he didn’t even work for it a little bit. I only got a chuckle in response.

“He’s been bragging about it, you know? About fucking you almost every night,” Seonghwa stated, hand now idly tapping small rhythms into the meat of my thigh. Something bitter crept into his voice. I rolled my eyes.

“Of course, that’s what he does,” I spat out, not giving a shit about censoring myself about the kind of feelings I had when it came to my husband. After all, if there was anyone who’d understand, it would regrettably be Seonghwa. “He’s never even come close.”

I stilled a little in his arms, deliberating. The words sat at the tip of my tongue, the admission of what I’ve been doing ready to slip out, but I hesitated. Seonghwa sat beneath me, patiently waiting. But really, what was one more leap of faith?

“I give him pills,” I confessed, for the first time putting my actions into words and speaking them out into the universe, “they knock him out. Then I just lie in the morning.”

A beat of silence, and then he was laughing – slow and disbelieving at first, but gradually gaining in volume and mirth as the words set in. I felt him shake whole, vibrating with joy. I did feel a bit of shame, but mostly at admitting something so embarrassing to him. His hand came up to caress at my cheek, and I let him.

“My my, you’re definitely very resourceful,” something to genuine happiness shined through his tone, and the warmth it spilled into my chest legitimately surprised me. This wasn’t that kind of affair, never would be. Still, even those feelings opened a pool of acid in my stomach, I couldn’t make myself move, to pull out of his willing arms.

Everything felt so different from our two other encounters, and I was so confused. I couldn’t even tell if this was real, or if I was just dumb and desperate enough to fall for anything.

I didn’t try to chastise him again, I knew there was no point. He’d only hear what he wanted to hear, so I just let it go and swallowed my feelings down. Like I always ended up doing.

Seonghwa chuckled, purred, and I spiralled.

When I got home that evening, it was with an achy back and an armful of shopping bags just in case. I doubted Yujun really cared about where I was, but since I was ignoring his phone calls the whole afternoon, I wanted at least a bit of reassurance I’d have an alibi to fall back on.

Coming back to a silent house knowing it wasn’t empty was quite depressing. The tension was thick in the air, the unsaid words painted all over the walls, soaked into the carpets and carved into the wooden furniture. They’d most likely find their way into my ears, if not today, then definitely later – throughout my very long, very unhappy life and marriage.

Shockingly I found Yujun sitting in his office. All I saw was a glimpse of his angry face through the open doors as I passed on the way to the bedroom, and I already knew tonight wasn’t going to go very well. I took my time changing into comfortable home clothes, ignoring streaks of dried cum coating my thighs, or the way I could still almost smell and taste Seonghwa on my skin.

I needed a shower. I needed to not feel him anymore.

When I walked out, Yujun was already waiting for me leaning on the doorframe of his office, watching me darkly. It wasn’t a suspicious gaze, I had no reason to suspect he knew, but I still felt my heart stutter and my palms grow clammy.

It was impossible to hate Seonghwa when he was with me, but it was impossible to not when I was faced with the consequences of his rashness. His eyes haunted me, flashing through my mind that last tender look as I was walking out of his office, the one that almost sold it to me. The one that almost felt like…

Yujun cleared his throat, and I pulled my attention to him, willing my eyes to look and see him, and not his brother.

“So this is how it’s gonna be now?” I turned my head to him fully, cocked to the side like I was trying to figure him out, like his anger was puzzling to me.

“What exactly are you talking about?” I tried to respond as neutrally as possible, giving the man an unimpressed look. He didn’t like that very much, it turned out.

“You have no right to stick your nose into my business,” he seethed, taking a few threatening steps towards me, finger in the air pointing my way. His words sounded suspiciously close to what he told Seonghwa, but I buried the memory away as soon as it appeared. I stumbled a couple steps back, heart palpitating in fear, but I doubted he’d actually do anything. “If I knew you were gonna be a fucking cockblocker, I’d be having way less fun where you could see. Funny, I didn’t take you for the jealous type.”

That had my hackles rising too, real quick, and I barrelled the few steps I took back towards him, my own face screwed up in a grimace.

“I don’t give a shit who you fuck, Yujun,” I spat at him, pointing right back, “I don’t give a shit where or when or how you do it. But I’m not going to stand by when you harass our staff. Our staff! If you want to be a fucking pig, do it outside!”

To this, he said nothing. He just stared at me, his red angry face twitching as I refused to back down. Seconds ticked by tensely, like sand trickling through an hourglass, so palpable and concrete I could feel it physically. We were closer to each other than we’ve probably ever been, and I was not enjoying myself. But thankfully, neither seemed to be Yujun, cause only a couple moments later he scoffed and walked away without a single word. It was only when he reached the door to his office that he turned around with a scathing look and said: “The only thing I’m curious about, my dear wife, is who you’re fucking.”

Then he was gone with a slam of the door, swallowed by the room in a blink of an eye. I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, beating so hard I was having trouble catching my breath where I felt it pounding against the bones. I was dizzy, barely able to tell up from down when I stumbled back into my bedroom.

I thought that Yujun must have had his suspicions, but this felt like a warning. And my husband felt reckless in a way that Seonghwa couldn’t rival either – it always felt more chaotic, like he could take out anybody without a single care. There was at least a semblance of order in what Seonghwa did, even if it made sense only to him. With Yujun though, once he got that look in his eyes, anything could happen.

And I didn’t know if he was warning me because he wanted to scare me, or because he had found out. My only consolation was that if he did know, he’d probably blow up all our lives for it. Petulantly angry Yujun, silent treatment Yujun, those were positive signs.

The following weeks didn’t treat me very kindly. The constant stress of the tense atmosphere in our house was taking its toll on me, even though my husband went back to spending most of his time elsewhere and only returning home to sleep off hungovers or to be a cloud of misery and scare off our personnel.

I constantly felt sick, shaky and tired. I barely slept, I was paler than usual and found myself frequently lost in thoughts. My mother kept getting upset with me over it, so at least something in my life hasn’t changed.

Seonghwa disappeared again.

Yujun hasn’t entered the bedroom since I first found out about the maid, and while I viewed that as something positive, it turned out – fate and life aren’t as easy as that. You should always remember. Whenever you least expected, even the best of things can turn around and fuck you over.

A little over a month after this encounter, after a month of a silent home, tense angry glares, hate and spite, my nausea kept escalating until I was forced to visit a doctor by my mother, who was worried that if I was seriously ill, my chances of pregnancy would decrease even more drastically. Always so lovely to know your family cared for your health.

That’s why she was there though, that fateful day.

Not wanting to die just yet, I did go to my doctor at her insistence and asked for complete bloodwork tests to be done. I had no idea I was about to step into the biggest trap of my life, when I walked in a week later, mother in tow, mumbling something under her breath – something no doubt very not nice or polite, knowing her – and so I ignored her.

When it came time to enter the office, I reluctantly let her tag along as my doctor gathered the needed documents. In those few last moments of quiet and calm, we both shuffled around the room looking at the displayed posters and models, trying our best to not converse with each other.

Then the doctor walked back in, and something in her wide blinding smile already put me on the edge. Bad premonition settled into my stomach, further aggravating the sensitive organ until I almost felt I might need to go throw up right there and then. I took that feeling of sickness and clung onto it, keeping it rolling through me to remind myself why I was here – because I was tired of feeling ill all the time.

Still, in that moment, irrationally I couldn’t help but think of Seonghwa and his fascinated eyes when he watched me get bred by him, and I felt my heart squeeze with anxiety. I shook it off and took the offered chair, my mother still leisurely walking around the room for a moment longer before she found the appropriate amount of attention was on her and sat down.

The doctor just watched us happily for a moment, happily shuffling the papers around, before she energetically clapped her hands together, making me jump slightly in my seat.

“Congratulations, Miss Jang,” she exclaimed cheerily, and I felt like I got sprayed with a bucket full of ice cold water, all at once freezing in my chair completely. My mother still hasn’t caught on, thinking she might be congratulating me for being healthy, but I knew. I walked in with a bad feeling, I walked in thinking of the man who talked about nothing else but getting me pregnant – I knew already what she was going to finish her sentence with.

“It must be very happy news for you, since I see here that you got recently married!” the doctor continued full of joy, completely oblivious to the two very different reactions going on in front of her.

“Oh!” my mother blurted out, finally catching on to what the doctor was trying to say in the most elaborate way ever, “Oh, Y/N!” For the first time in months true joy spread through her expression, and it made me feel sicker than I already was. I guess two people were getting what they wanted, then.

“Yes, congratulations,” the doctor repeated, again, and finally said the quiet part out loud, “You’re pregnant! It might be a recent development, I’ll make you an appointment with our clinic’s gynaecologist, he’s the very best in the game.”

At this point my mother was excitedly prattling off something, looking at me with relief as she took the news in. She started asking something about that doctor, but I could barely comprehend what was going on.

All I saw in front of my eyes was Seonghwa. What would he say? How would he react? Christ, what about Yujun – he knew we hadn’t slept together in weeks, maybe he even started suspecting it’s been months. He alluded to me having an affair. He’ll fucking kill me once he finds out.

This was the moment I realised I was sitting in a car just about to drive off a bridge. Time stopped, and I just stared over the edge, to the abyss below. In my mind I was there, tasting the damp air on my tongue. Everything was caving in. I felt my chest squeeze tighter and tighter until I couldn’t breathe.

My mother tugged at my arm and said something, but I didn’t hear a single word, so I just nodded. She smiled and pulled out her phone, almost instantly excitedly running her fingers over the keyboard. Great. God.

What was I supposed to do now?

As I sat there and watched her shoot a message after message, press call and boast to everyone, only one thought dominated my mind.

I had to speak to Seonghwa. As soon as possible.

thank you for reading, darlings! let me know in the comments/reblogs or through asks if you liked the story! i love reading your opinions and general screaming into the void haha!

♡ master taglist ♡

@afangirl91 @bear-hugs-and-kisses @luuucifer-writes @anjoellamorte @ami7-12bts

@thenaverse @shakespeare-in-the-park7 @karinaever @anaspectoflife @luvly-angel

@sousydive @goldietigers294

#kpop smut #kpop fic #ateez smut #ateez angst #ateez fic #ateez x reader #seonghwa smut #seonghwa angst #seonghwa fic #seonghwa x reader #ateez #seonghwa

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639-hear-me-out-bby · 1 day ago

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playlist: back to being friends by sombr guilty as sin? by taylor swift (rachel bochner ver.) the hardest part by olivia dean

the living room couch cradled me as i sat on his lap, straddling him. his eyes followed the path of his hands as they trailed along my plush sides, then paused to give my thighs a gentle squeeze. he looked up at me, eyes glossed and enthralled.

“still so fuckin’ pretty,” he murmured.

i closed my eyes as he leaned in, closing the space between us. i braced for the feel of his lips—but instead, there was only a breath of air between us, his exhale brushing softly against mine. i opened my eyes to find him gazing at me like i’d hung the stars in the sky.

his hand rose to my neck, fingers gentle as they traced along my jaw. his other hand found mine, guiding it to his chest.

"feel this heartbeat? that’s what you do to me—every beat, every thud, it’s all you," he said slowly, his eyes locking onto mine.

“don’t do this. w-we can’t,” i pleaded, eyes glossing over as i shut them. i leaned my forehead against his with a shaky sigh.

"then we stop." his voice was barely above a whisper, but it wrapped around me like a promise. his hands loosened their grip, falling still on my sides, though his forehead stayed pressed to mine. the silence between us pulsed, thick with everything unsaid.

“i just don’t want you to get hurt,” he said, softer this time, like the words themselves might shatter us. "but i don’t know if i can keep pretending that i don’t want you… that i haven’t always wanted you."

my fingers clenched lightly at his shirt, still resting against his chest. i could feel the thrum of his heartbeat beneath my palm—steady, strong, wanting.

“you think i’m scared of getting hurt?” i whispered, a shaky laugh escaping me. “i’ve been hurt by you before… but that doesn’t stop me from wanting you, does it? you’ve always been my weakness.”

the words hung in the air, thick with the weight of everything unsaid. the faint patter of rain against the window added to the stillness, its rhythmic tap an almost haunting reminder of how long we’d waited. i pulled away, searching his eyes for something—maybe the same fear, the same longing. then he said, "then let me show you how sorry i am,” he murmured, his voice low, filled with a need that mirrored my own.

without another word, i crashed my lips against his, hungry and breathless. his hand tangled in my hair, pulling me closer, deepening the kiss. his other hand gripped my waist, guiding my hips against his with a desperate kind of need. shaky moans and low grunts slipped from his lips, each sound a reminder of how much we’d both been holding back.

the rain outside continued its steady pitter patter, but inside, the world had fallen away, leaving only us—caught in the heat of a moment that would have no easy end.

a/n: prompts from @urfriendlywriter !! hoping this lil piece would break my stump. ciao!

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shady-lemur · 2 days ago

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hiking with girlfriend!ellie !!

you’re idea of a relaxing summer afternoon is sitting out on your deck, drinking a lemonade, and letting the sun soak into your skin. but your girlfriend has a much different idea of fun. so here you are, hiking a trail in the forest and keeping ellie from going too far off course.

“babe babe babe” ellie calls out to you as you try to take in the peaceful sounds of birds chirping overhead. “what ellie?” you look at where she’s been poking at you and she grins.

“watch this.” you sigh and move your hand to block the sun out of your face so you can watch as she runs to a tree ahead of you and starts to climb. eventually she lands at a branch high enough to be impressive but not high enough to where you’d yell at her. “do i look cool?!” she moves to lay on her side and and puts one leg up, quickly moving her arms around the branch to make sure she doesn’t fall.

“oh yeah! you look awesome.” you smile at her and wait for her to come down…. but she doesn’t. she just continues to pose. you laugh to yourself and pull out your camera, snapping a picture of her as she sticks her tongue out for it. then she finally gets up and analyses her surroundings.

“should i jump!!?”

you deadpan at her. “ellie no. climb down.”

she looks at you sheepishly and looks straight down again. her gazes continues to shift from you to the ground before she looks up at you once more with the twinkle in her eye that could only be described as mischief. “ellie..”

she throws her backpack on the ground and stretches her neck out dramatically before hurling herself off the branch, almost landing on her feet but being knocked down to her butt. you take a deep breath and close your eyes. “goddamn idiot.” ellie stand up and wipes the dirt off her cargo shorts. “aw hell yeah” she looks up at the jump she just conquered and nods in admiration of herself.

————————————————————————

“woah els look at this bug.” you pull her hand and make her follow you to the rock that this bug is on. its nothing like you’ve ever seen before! beautiful design on its back and a very unique build. “aww sick”

you snap a few pictures of it and ellie sticks her finger out… maybe trying to greet it like you would a cat? you weren’t really sure of her game plan here. the bug snap at her finger right as you take another picture. “OWWW shit that fucker hurts.” she whines and digs her head into your back, bringing her finger into her another hand. you snort and her and turn to take a picture of her holding her finger. “ellie why the fuck would you do that?” you laugh she looks at you, feeling betrayed at the picture, and doesn’t say a word.

“let me see it.” she sticks her figure out at you and you give it a small kiss, “i have some bandaids in my bag.”

————————————————————————

you happily swing your legs as ellie marches along the trail with you in her back. every once and a while you’ll see something that makes you pull your camera out and take a picture but other than that neither of you guys are stopping anymore! ellie hikes you up on her back and groans.

“baby please it’s so hot.”

“cmonn els what if i was hurt?? you gotta practice!!” she sighs and continues on, “do i get a turn after this?” you think for a second then nod your head.

“yeah of course!!” you smile and give her a kiss on the cheek. the trail ends in less than half a mile, you both know she is not getting a turn.

#tlou fic #ellie tlou #ellie williams #ellie x fem reader #tlou2 #tlou part 2

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thirteenheavens · 6 hours ago

Note

Hi! Can I request hongjoong based on their song bouncy? Thanks xo

Make it bouncy || Kim Hongjoong

Notes: this was so fun to write I feel like I could of put more in tho hehe

Hongjoong's hands grip your hips as you sink down onto his cock, taking him all the way to the hilt. His eyes are dark with desire as he watches you, a low groan escaping his lips.

"Fuck, you feel so good," he mutters, his fingers digging into your skin. "You're so tight." You begin to move, lifting yourself up and then sliding back down slowly, savoring the feeling of him inside you. Hongjoong's head falls back against the pillows as pleasure courses through his body.

"Just like that," he encourages, his voice hoarse with need. "Take what you want from me." His hands roam your body, caressing your breasts and stomach as you ride him faster. The room is filled with the sounds of your moans and the slapping of skin against skin. Hongjoong's hand comes down on your ass with a sharp smack, making you cry out in pleasure. The sting sends a jolt of heat straight to your core, and you clench around him tighter.

"Again," you gasp out, needing more of his rough touch. "Do it again." Hongjoong obliges, his palm meeting your skin again with a satisfying sound. He grips your hips tighter, guiding you to bounce faster on his cock.

"You like that, don't you?" he asks, his eyes darkening with lust. "You like it when I'm rough with you."

"Slow it down," Hongjoong growls, his voice low and commanding. "I want to savor this." He grips your hips tighter, forcing you to slow your movements to an agonizing pace. The torturous slide of his cock in and out of you makes you whimper, but you obey his order.

"Good girl," he praises, his eyes fixed on where your bodies are joined. "Now lift up until just the tip is inside, then slide back down." You do as he says, savoring the way his cock stretches you open with each deliberate movement. The change in pace makes every sensation more intense, and you can feel yourself getting closer to the edge.

Hongjoong's smile widens as he watches you follow his instructions. "That's it, make it bouncy for me," he encourages, his voice rough with desire. You start to bounce on his cock, your breasts jiggling with each movement. The sound of your skin slapping against his fills the room, mixing with your moans and his grunts of pleasure.

"Fuck yes," he groans, his hands sliding up to cup your breasts. "You're so beautiful like this, taking my cock so well." The praise sends another wave of heat through your body, and you can feel yourself getting closer and closer to orgasm. Your thighs start to tremble with the effort of maintaining the pace, but you refuse to stop until he tells you to.

"I'm going to come," Hongjoong warns through gritted teeth, his fingers pinching your nipples. "Touch yourself for me, let me watch you fall apart.” You reach down between your legs, finding your clit and rubbing tight circles as you continue to bounce on his cock. The dual sensations push you closer to the edge, your body shaking with the need for release.

"Come with me," Hongjoong growls, his hips thrusting up to meet yours. "Let go for me, baby." The combined stimulation is too much, and with a loud cry, you finally let go. Your body convulses as waves of pleasure crash over you, your pussy clenching tightly around Hongjoong's cock. Hongjoong follows right behind you, his hips stuttering as he spills deep inside you. His fingers dig into your hips hard enough to leave bruises as he rides out his orgasm, filling the condom with his release.

"Fuck," he breathes out, collapsing back against the pillows and pulling you down onto his chest. You rest your head on his chest, trying to catch your breath as you come down from the most intense orgasm of your life. His arms wrap around you, holding you close as you both bask in the afterglow.

Hongjoong's chest vibrates against your cheek as he speaks, his voice still rough with desire. "I can make you feel even better," he repeats, his hand tracing lazy patterns on your back. "But only if you want to try something new." You lift your head to look at him, curiosity and excitement mingling in your expression. "What did you have in mind?" you ask, your heart racing at the possibilities.

Hongjoong's smile turns devilish as he gently rolls you onto your back, his body hovering over yours. "If you wanna know how I can show you right now?" he asks, his fingers trailing down your stomach.

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lila-lou · 5 hours ago

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✨The night you gave in✨

Summary: You resisted Soldier Boy for weeks. One night, you stopped—and he made sure you’d never forget what giving in felt like.

-requested-

Pairing: Soldier Boy x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language

Word Count: 8290

A/N: English isn’t my first language, so please be lenient. 💙✨

The mansion was alive with chaos. Bodies tangled in hedonistic pleasure, music pulsing through the walls, the air thick with the scent of sweat, alcohol, and something darker. You had no business being here, really. This wasn’t your scene. It never was. But Soldier Boy had insisted.

“Come on, sweetheart. You’re my assistant, aren’t you? Fucking assist me”.

So here you were, navigating through the mess of superheroes indulging in excess. You had done a damn good job of keeping your distance all these weeks, resisting his persistent advances with nothing more than a scoff, a roll of your eyes, or a sharp retort.

But tonight? Tonight, something was different. Maybe it was the way he looked-his cocky grin a little less smug, his eyes a little darker, as if even he was getting tired of the chase. Or maybe it was the way the liquor burned in your throat, loosening the grip of your stubborn resolve.

You felt him before you saw him. His presence thick in the air, radiating heat and power. A heavy hand landed on your hip, pulling you back against something solid, unmovable.

“You been runnin’ from me all this time”, Soldier Boy murmured into your ear, his voice rough and edged with amusement. “But you still came when I called”.

You swallowed hard, heart hammering as his fingers trailed lower. You could still walk away. You should walk away. But when you turned, meeting those deep green eyes filled with something dark and knowing, you realized, you didn’t want to. Not today.

Still, you pushed against his chest, your hands pressing against the hard armor, but he barely moved. Just stood there, smirking down at you like he had you right where he wanted.

“It’s my damn job”, you muttered under your breath, more to yourself than him.

Ben let out a low chuckle, the sound vibrating through your body with how close he was. “That why you’re pressed up against me right now, sweetheart?”. His grip on your hip tightened just slightly, enough to make your breath hitch.

Your eyes darted around the room. The debauchery continued, grunts, moans, laughter, but you felt the weight of a few stares. A handful of supes had noticed you. And you were only human.

Even if Soldier Boy was an arrogant bastard, you’d rather deal with him than be left to navigate this place alone.

One of the supes, a woman with glowing violet eyes, licked her lips as she trailed her gaze down your body. Another, some muscle-bound asshole with obsidian-black skin, was already making his way closer. You weren’t naïve. You knew what this night was about. And you knew exactly what happened to people who weren’t careful here.

Soldier Boy noticed too. His fingers flexed on your hip before sliding lower, possessive, a silent warning to anyone watching.

“That’s what I thought”, he muttered, lips brushing the shell of your ear. “You’re safer with me, doll. Always have been”.

You should have hated how much that statement felt true in this moment.

“Fine”, you breathed, forcing yourself to relax into his grip.

His grin was smug, but there was something else in his eyes, something darker. He was enjoying this way too much. “Atta girl”, he murmured, guiding you through the room like he owned you.

It wasn’t that you didn’t find Ben attractive, because shit, you did.

The sharp jawline, the unruly hair, the broad shoulders that looked like they could take a missile and not budge. And the way he carried himself, cocky and self-assured, like the whole world was a joke and he was the only one in on it. It was irritating as hell, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you smirk sometimes.

You actually thought he was funny too, in that asshole kind of way. The kind that made you roll your eyes but secretly bite back a laugh.

But attraction wasn’t the problem.

The problem was that Ben wasn’t just some guy. He was a supe. And you’d never been with a supe before.

Deep down, that was what really stopped you. Not his arrogance, not his persistence, not even the fact that he was a walking, talking pain in your ass. No, it was the fear,the quiet, gnawing fear that if he didn’t pay attention, if he got too into it, if he lost control even for a second, you wouldn’t be walking out of that room in one piece.

You’d heard the stories. Everyone had. Supes who got too rough, who didn’t know their own strength, who crushed ribs with a single thrust or snapped necks just trying to chase their own pleasure. The kind of stories that got whispered behind closed doors and covered up by Vought’s PR team before the public ever got a whiff of them.

And Soldier Boy? He was worse than most.

You’d seen him fight. You’d seen what he did to people without even trying. And if he got carried away, if he forgot for even a second that you were just huma… A shiver ran down your spine, and Ben must have felt it because his grip on you shifted, steady but firm. His lips were still close to your ear, his breath warm as he spoke.

“You’re thinking too much”, he muttered.

You swallowed hard, keeping your voice even. “No. I’m just not stupid”.

He let out a low chuckle, his hand sliding to the small of your back, guiding you through the crowd. The other supes had lost interest now, either picking up new playthings or getting distracted by the chaos around them. But Ben didn’t let you go.

“You really think I’d break you?”. His voice was quieter now, more serious than you expected.

You hesitated. Yes. Maybe. I don’t fucking know.

“I think you don’t always know your own strength”, you admitted finally.

That made him pause. Just for a second.

Then, he exhaled sharply through his nose, shaking his head. “Geez, sweetheart. Give me a little credit”. His grip on you tightened—deliberate, controlled. “I might be a lot of things, but I don’t fuckin’ break my toys”.

You weren’t sure if that was supposed to be reassuring. But the way his hand lingered on your hip, firm and grounding, made it hard to care.

The noise of the party faded as Ben guided you upstairs, his grip never loosening. Not enough to hurt, just enough to remind you who was leading. The hallway was dimly lit, the muffled sounds of pleasure and chaos still vibrating through the walls, but up here, it was quieter. More intentional.

He pushed open a door at the end of the hall. A private room, untouched by the mess below. Dark wood furniture, a massive bed, and a bar cart stocked with top-shelf liquor. This wasn’t some random guest room. It was his.

The door shut with a firm click.

You turned to face him, pulse thrumming in your ears. He stood in front of the door, watching you with that unreadable expression, the one that always made your stomach tighten.

“This your way of getting me alone?”, you asked, keeping your tone light, though your body was wound tight.

Ben smirked. “Worked, didn’t it?”.

He moved past you, grabbing a bottle from the bar, pouring himself a drink like he had all the time in the world. Like he hadn’t spent weeks chasing you down just for this moment.

You crossed your arms. “So, what now? You finally got me here. What’s the grand plan?”.

He took a slow sip, watching you over the rim of the glass. “That depends, sweetheart. You still think I’m gonna snap you in half?”.

Your breath caught, but you didn’t look away. “I think you’re reckless”.

His tongue flicked over his lower lip as he set the glass down with a soft clink. “I can be”. He took a step closer. “But not with you”.

You didn’t know if you believed that. Not fully. But the way he was looking at you now, like he was waiting for you to make the call, sent a different kind of shiver down your spine.

For weeks, he’d been pushing, teasing, hunting you down with that relentless charm. And now? Now he was giving you the choice.

Maybe it was the heat of the night, the tension that had been building between you, or maybe it was the fact that, deep down, you wanted to believe him.

Either way, when you finally spoke, your voice was quieter than you intended.

“Then show me”.

Ben’s smirk deepened, but his eyes darkened with something else entirely.

Ben let out a low chuckle, sitting down and leaning back against the couch, his legs spread wide, making himself comfortable. The dim lighting cast deep shadows across his face, but his eyes, those dark green eyes, never left you.

He took another slow sip from his glass, swirling the liquid before tilting his head toward the massive mirror wall in front of him.

“Strip”, he muttered, like it was nothing. Like he was asking you to pass the remote instead of something that made heat coil low in your stomach.

You let out a dry laugh, arms still crossed. “Are you fucking kidding?”.

Ben exhaled, shaking his head. “Sweetheart, do I look like I’m kidding?”.

You glanced at the mirror. It reflected everything—the couch, the bar, the massive bed in the background. And him. Relaxed, confident, waiting.

Your heartbeat kicked up a notch.

“This what you do?”, you asked, narrowing your eyes. “Make girls put on a show while you sit there like a king?”.

Ben just smirked. “No. You’re special”.

You scoffed, but the way he said it, low and easy, sent a shiver through you. He was playing a game, pushing to see if you’d bite.

And the worst part? You kind of wanted to.

“Come on”, he coaxed, voice smooth as honey. “You been running from me for weeks. I finally get you alone, and you’re just gonna stand there?”. His gaze dropped, lazily dragging over your body like he could see through your clothes. “That’s a damn shame”.

Your fingers twitched at your sides.

It wasn’t the stripping that made your breath catch—it was the watching. The fact that he wanted to sit there and just look, to make you stand in front of that mirror and see yourself the way he saw you.

Your skin burned at the thought.

Ben arched a brow, amusement flickering in his gaze. “What’s the matter, sweetheart? Scared?”.

That did it. Your chin lifted. Fuck it.

You reached for the hem of your top, gripping it tight before slowly pulling it over your head. The cool air hit your skin, but the heat in Ben’s gaze made up for it.

He didn’t say a word. Just sat there, watching. Waiting.

You swallowed hard, fingers trailing to the button of your jeans. The mirror reflected everything back at you. The rise and fall of your chest, the tension in your shoulders, the way Ben’s gaze darkened with every inch of skin you revealed.

The denim slid down your legs, pooling at your feet. You stood there, breath unsteady, heart hammering, waiting for him to say something.

Ben took his time. Finished his drink. Set the glass aside with deliberate ease. Then, finally, he leaned forward, resting his forearms on his knees, eyes locking onto yours in the mirror. “There she is”, he murmured.

A startled gasp left your lips as he grabbed the waistband of your panties and yanked you back toward him. The force knocked you off balance, sending you tumbling against his lap.

“Ben—”.

The sharp sound of fabric tearing filled the air. Your breath caught. The cool air brushed against newly exposed skin, and for a split second, all you could do was stare at yourself in the mirror, eyes wide, lips parted, heart pounding.

Ben let out a low, satisfied hum, his fingers grazing over your hip where the ruined material used to be. “These were in my way”, he muttered, completely unapologetic.

Your pulse thrummed under your skin, every nerve buzzing with anticipation.

He didn’t let you go. Instead, his hands splayed wide over your waist, rough and warm, grounding you against him. The heat of his body burned through the fabric of his suit, every inch of him solid and dangerous.

Your throat went dry.

“You should see yourself”, Ben murmured, his voice dark with amusement.

Your eyes flickered up, meeting his gaze in the mirror. He was watching you, studying the way your breath quickened, the way your skin flushed under his touch.

Cocky bastard.

“I swear, if you just ripped my underwear for no reason—”.

Ben let out a sharp laugh, fingers tightening on your waist. “For no reason?”. His grip shifted, guiding your hips down just enough for you to feel the evidence of exactly why he did it.

A small, involuntary noise caught in your throat.

“Yeah”, Ben murmured, dragging his lips against your bare shoulder, his voice dropping to something low and dangerous. “That’s what I thought”.

Your back was still pressed to his chest, your breath unsteady as you watched the scene play out in the mirror. His hands roamed, slow, teasing, trailing over your thighs, your waist, before moving up to the clasp of your bra.

His fingers hooked around the band, ready to undo it. But you stopped him. Your hands flew to his wrists, gripping tight.

Ben froze.

You didn’t say anything right away, just sat there, keeping his hands at bay. Your nails pressed lightly into his skin, and for the first time tonight, he actually hesitated. A muscle ticked in his jaw. His breath was warm against your shoulder. He didn’t ask why. Not at first.

Instead, he loosened his grip, his voice dropping low. “What’s wrong?”.

Your chest felt tight. You hated this. Hated that after everything, after weeks of pushing him away and finally giving in, this was the thing stopping you. But you couldn’t shake the feeling.

You weren’t stupid. You knew what kind of women Ben was used to—bombshells with perfect curves, the kind who walked into a room and commanded attention with just a glance. Women who didn’t hesitate, didn’t overthink, didn’t sit here second-guessing themselves while wearing nothing but scraps of torn lace.

And you? You’d never felt like enough.

You kept your eyes on the mirror, avoiding his gaze. “It’s nothing”, you muttered, trying to shift out of his grip. “Forget it”.

Ben didn’t let you go.

His hands didn’t force, didn’t push, just stayed, steady and unyielding. “Nah”, he said, voice quieter now, rougher. “Not how this works”.

You swallowed hard. “It’s stupid”.

“I’ll be the judge of that”.

His reflection stared you down, his gaze dark, unreadable. The weight of his hands, the warmth of his body against yours, it was too much, but not enough.

You inhaled sharply, forcing the words out. “I just… I don’t exactly have a lot going on up top”. You let out a humorless laugh, but it sounded hollow. “Sorry if that’s disappointing”.

Ben was silent.

For a long, agonizing moment, you thought maybe he’d agree, maybe he’d laugh, brush it off, confirm every stupid insecurity that had ever sat heavy in your chest.

But then he exhaled sharply, his grip on your waist tightening just slightly, grounding you against him. His lips brushed against your neck, his breath warm as he let out a low, almost disbelieving chuckle. “That’s what you’re worried about?”.

You stiffened. “Forget it—”.

His hands moved, firm and slow, dragging up your sides, fingertips teasing the edge of your bra. Not pushing, just there, like he wanted you to feel how much he wasn’t letting this go.

Ben leaned in, voice dropping to a low murmur. “Sweetheart, I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you since the day you rolled your eyes at me”. His fingers flexed, his palms spreading over your ribs, his touch hot against your bare skin. “You think I give a shit about size?”.

Your breath caught as his hands moved again, trailing higher, stopping just beneath your chest. Waiting.

“Y’know what I like?”, he murmured, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. “That I can do this”.

His palms slid up fully, fingers spanning over your chest, covering you entirely. A low, pleased hum rumbled from his throat as he squeezed just enough to make your stomach tighten.

Your face burned.

“You fit perfectly in my hands”, he muttered, almost to himself, his thumbs stroking over sensitive skin. “Bet you never thought about that, huh?”.

Your fingers curled into his forearms, not pushing him away, but not quite pulling him closer either. “Ben—”.

“I love this”, he cut you off, his voice rough with something dark and sincere. He wasn’t teasing anymore. He wasn’t just trying to get under your skin. This was real.

He let his grip linger, let you feel how much he meant it before he finally leaned back slightly, meeting your gaze in the mirror. His hands still held you, his fingers splayed like he wanted to memorize every inch of your skin.

“Don’t ever say that shit again”, he murmured, lips curling into something wicked. “Or I’ll have to remind you every damn time”.

Your breath was unsteady, your heart pounding, but this time, when he reached for your bra clasp, you didn’t stop him. You let him.

The clasp of your bra gave way with a soft snap, the fabric slipping down your arms. You shivered, not from the cold, but from the way Ben inhaled sharply behind you.

His hands didn’t move right away. He just looked. The mirror reflected everything. The slow rise and fall of your chest, the way his rough palms framed you, the heat in his darkened gaze.

“Fuck”, he muttered under his breath, his fingers flexing over your ribs.

Your body tensed on instinct, but Ben only smirked, his lips ghosting over your shoulder. “You really thought this was a problem?”.

You swallowed hard, your fingers curling into his wrists. “Ben—”.

He cut you off with a slow, deliberate squeeze, his thumbs brushing teasing circles over soft skin. His touch was warm, reverent, obsessive. “This?”, he muttered, dragging his lips down your neck, his hands still palming over you, like he was committing you to memory. “This is perfect”.

You exhaled shakily, heat blooming low in your stomach.

“Y’know what I like about small tits?”. Ben murmured, his voice dark and amused. He squeezed again, just enough to make your breath hitch. “They fit in my hands just right”.

Your skin burned.

“Doesn’t matter where I am”. His smirk deepened, his fingers kneading you slowly, possessively. “Like ‘em in my hands…”. He flicked his thumbs over your nipples, making your breath catch. “…in my mouth…”. His teeth grazed your neck, his tongue flicking out to soothe the bite.

A shudder wracked your spine.

Ben chuckled against your skin, smug as hell. “See? Perfect”.

Your head fell back against his shoulder, your body melting into his. His hands never left you, mapping over your skin like he was proving a damn point. And maybe he was. Maybe he was trying to erase every doubt, every insecurity, every stupid thought that had ever made you hesitate.

Because when Ben wanted something, he made damn sure it knew it belonged to him. And right now? You were his favorite fucking thing in the world.

Ben’s fingers pinched at your nipples just right. A slow, deliberate roll that sent a sharp jolt of pleasure straight down your spine. You gasped, your fingers tightening around his wrists, but you didn’t push him away. Didn’t want to.

He felt it. Knew it. And the bastard smirked.

“Now”, he muttered, his voice thick with amusement, his breath hot against your ear, “tell me again you’re fucking insecure”. His grip tightened, just enough to make you shudder. “Or that you think I don’t know my own damn strength”.

Your lips parted, but no sound came out.

His hands moved again, slow and confident, teasing and claiming all at once. He played you like he knew exactly what you liked, like he had all the time in the world to pull every little reaction out of you.

“You feel fragile to me?”, he pressed, his voice lower now, rougher. “You think I don’t know how to handle something precious?”.

Your heart pounded in your chest.

Ben huffed out a low, knowing laugh, his mouth brushing along the curve of your jaw. “You’re mine right now”, he murmured. “And you’re still breathing, aren’t you?”.

Your breath hitched.

“Still in one piece?”. His thumbs flicked over sensitive skin again, sending another wave of heat rolling through your body. “Still sitting pretty in my lap, letting me touch you however the fuck I want?”.

Your body answered before your mouth did, melting back against him, your hands trembling where they gripped his arms.

Ben felt it. Felt the way you caved, the way your insecurities crumbled beneath his touch, beneath the way he made you feel. He smirked against your skin, voice dark and satisfied. “Yeah”, he muttered, his lips trailing down your throat. “That’s what I thought”.

Ben let his hands linger a moment longer, squeezing just enough to make you shudder before he suddenly let go.

“Up”. His voice was rough, commanding.

Your dazed mind barely had time to process before his hands gripped your waist, lifting you like you weighed nothing, setting you on your feet in front of him. Your knees wobbled slightly, the loss of his warmth making you unsteady.

Ben leaned back against the couch, arms spreading lazily along the top as he looked up at you with dark, unreadable eyes.

“Your turn”, he muttered. He nodded toward his suit, a lazy smirk tugging at his lips. “Go ahead, sweetheart. Undress me”.

Your pulse kicked up.

He just sat there, watching, completely at ease, like he wasn’t the one who had been chasing you down for weeks. Like this was your game to play now.

You swallowed hard, your fingers twitching at your sides.

Ben huffed out a low chuckle, tilting his head slightly. “You had all that attitude before”, he mused. “What happened to it?”. His gaze dropped, flickering over your body, slow and deliberate. “You scared to touch me?”.

Bastard.

Your fingers curled into fists before you exhaled, stepping closer, standing between his open legs. You met his gaze, refusing to let him see how much he was getting to you.

He was testing you. Fine. Two could play that game.

Your hands moved to the zipper of his suit, pulling it down slowly, savoring the way his chest rose and fell beneath your touch. You pushed the fabric aside, your palms skimming over his shoulders, dragging the heavy material down his arms.

Ben let you.

Didn’t move, didn’t help, just sat there, watching you with that smug, knowing smirk, like he was waiting to see how far you’d take it.

You tossed the suit jacket aside, your fingers moving to the hem of his undershirt next. You hesitated for half a second before gripping the fabric and peeling it upward, revealing warm, scarred skin, hard muscle that tensed beneath your touch.

His breath deepened as you pulled the shirt over his head, exposing all of him.

Your hands ghosted lower, trailing toward his belt, but before you could reach it, his fingers snapped around your wrist.

Your breath hitched. His grip wasn’t harsh, but it was firm. Deliberate. You met his gaze, heat pooling in your stomach at the way he looked up at you now, less smug, more hungry.

“You like what you see, sweetheart?”, he murmured, voice low and rough.

Your throat went dry.

Ben smirked, his grip on your wrist tightening just slightly before he pulled your hand lower, pressing it against the buckle of his belt. “Then keep going”.

Your fingers hesitated at his belt, brushing over the thick leather and cold metal buckle.

Ben’s suit was heavier than you expected, the material thick and damn near impenetrable. It had been designed for war, built to withstand anything, and right now, it felt like it was snatching him in, trapping all that raw power beneath reinforced fabric.

And you? You were about to unleash it. The thought sent a shiver through you.

Your fingers worked the belt, struggling slightly against the reinforced metal clasp. The damn thing was a box of fucking Pandora. A maze of loops, heavy-duty straps, and fastenings designed to keep everything locked in.

Ben let out a low chuckle, his voice deep and rough. “You need help, sweetheart?”.

You shot him a glare. “Shut up”.

His smirk deepened. “Cute”.

You bit your lip, focusing. With a final tug, the buckle finally gave, the belt coming undone with a satisfying snap. The weight of it made it drop heavily to the floor, the thick leather coiling at his feet.

Ben let out a slow exhale, his body relaxing slightly as the last restriction came undone.

But you weren’t finished. Your fingers moved lower, tugging at the zipper of his pants, working them open inch by inch.

You peeled the last layers away, revealing all of him, the raw strength he’d been holding back.

Ben exhaled deeply, rolling his shoulders, finally free. Then, in one swift motion, his hands shot out, gripping your hips and pulling you back onto his lap. You gasped, hands bracing against his bare chest, feeling the warmth of his skin, the way his muscles flexed beneath your fingers.

Ben smirked up at you, his grip firm, possessive. “Now”, he murmured, voice thick with something dark and starving, “let’s see if you can handle what you just let out”.

Ben’s grip on your hips was firm, unyielding, keeping you exactly where he wanted you. You barely had time to process the feeling of his bare skin against yours before your eyes drifted downward. And froze. Your breath caught in your throat.

There, pressed between your bodies, was him. Thick, heavy, straining up against his stomach, the sheer size of it making your mouth go dry.

Ben felt the way you stiffened.

His smirk curled slow and lazy, amusement flickering in his dark green eyes. “What’s the matter, sweetheart?”. His voice was all gravel and heat, teasing but edged with something darker. “Didn’t think that far ahead?”.

You swallowed, words refusing to form.

Ben let out a low chuckle, his fingers tightening around your hips, dragging you just slightly closer. The motion made you feel every inch of him, heat coiling low in your stomach at the pressure of him pressing right against you.

“Cat got your tongue?”, he murmured, his lips ghosting along your jaw.

Your hands curled against his chest, your breath coming in short, uneven bursts. “I just…”. You trailed off, not trusting your own voice.

Ben huffed out a laugh, tilting his head to press a slow, open-mouthed kiss against your throat. “You just what, sweetheart?”. His teeth grazed your pulse, his grip shifting, guiding you just a little more against him. “Didn’t expect me to be packing?”.

Your fingers dug into his shoulders, heat flooding through you. “I—”.

Ben smirked against your skin, his hands trailing lower, tracing the curves of your body with deliberate ease. “Relax”, he murmured, voice deep and steady. “I know what I’m doing”.

Your heart pounded, your body caught between anticipation and something dangerously close to fear.

Ben felt it. And the way his grip tightened, the way his lips dragged along your jaw with slow, teasing precision, told you he liked it. Liked knowing you were teetering on the edge. Liked knowing he was the one pushing you there.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared now”, he murmured, voice like honey and sin.

"You’re gonna hurt me", you mumbled, barely above a whisper.

Ben’s smirk faltered.

You didn’t even look up at him. Your wide eyes were glued to the sheer size of him, the reality of what you were about to do slamming into you like a freight train.

"Dead by dick", you whispered, voice laced with something between panic and genuine concern.

That did it.

Ben threw his head back and laughed. A deep, full-bodied sound that rumbled through his chest and shook through you, like you had just said the funniest damn thing in the world.

Meanwhile, you were still staring at the very real problem sitting between you.

Ben’s grip on your hips tightened as his laughter died down, amusement still gleaming in his eyes as he tilted his head, studying your expression. “That what you’re worried about, sweetheart?”. His voice was lower now, teasing but edged with something softer.

You finally ripped your gaze away to glare at him. “Are you looking at this?!”. You gestured wildly, still sitting in his lap, still feeling every inch of him pressed against you. “This—this is a lot to take in, Ben”.

His smirk returned, slow and knowing. "Yeah", he muttered, his hands sliding up your waist, tracing over your ribs. "You’re tellin’ me".

You smacked his shoulder. "Not funny".

Ben only chuckled, his grip shifting as he pulled you closer, his lips brushing against the curve of your jaw once more. “I ain’t gonna hurt you”. His voice was steady, the humor slipping into something deeper. "I know what I’m doin’".

His kisses trailed lower, slow and deliberate, his hands sliding down to squeeze your thighs. But none of it, not his touch, not the heat of his body, nothing, eased the nerves building in your chest.

Ben must have noticed, because he exhaled sharply before leaning back to look at you fully.

"Sweetheart", he murmured, his smirk softening just slightly, "I told you—I don’t break my toys".

Your stomach flipped.

His hands squeezed again, firm but reassuring. "You trust me?".

You swallowed, your fingers twitching where they rested against his shoulders. Did you?

Ben had been a pain in your ass for weeks, relentless and cocky and impossible. But he had never—not once—pushed you past what you were willing to give. And right now, despite the teasing, despite the arrogance, there was something solid in his eyes.

Something real.

You exhaled shakily, still very aware of what was pressing against you, but forced yourself to meet his gaze. “…Yeah”.

Ben’s smirk returned, but this time, it was different. Darker. Hunger flickered in his eyes, but it was controlled, his grip shifting, pulling you even closer.

“Good”, he muttered, his voice like a slow drag of whiskey. His lips brushed against yours, teasing, promising.

Ben’s grip tightened around your ribs, and before you could even think, he lifted you. Effortless. Like you weighed nothing.

A startled gasp left your lips as he pulled you up, his fingers digging into your sides, his strength undeniable. You barely had time to process how easy it was for him before he settled you just above him, his hands keeping you steady, your legs straddling his hips.

“Fuck”, he muttered under his breath, his gaze dropping between your bodies, his tongue flicking over his lips in anticipation.

Your breath came in short, uneven bursts. This was real. This was happening.

His grip on you didn’t waver, his fingers spanning over your ribs, holding you in place—like he was savoring every second before taking what he wanted.

“C’mon, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice low, edged with something dark and starving. “Line me up”.

Your stomach flipped, nerves tangling with something hotter, heavier.

You hesitated. Just for a second.

“You got this”, he murmured, teasing but genuine. “Ain’t gonna rush you”.

His lips dragged lower, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses along your throat, his patience taunting.

But you felt him. Felt every inch of him straining beneath you, hot and heavy, his body coiled tight as he waited. Waited for you.

Your hands trembled slightly as you reached between your bodies, your fingers brushing over the heat of him. Ben sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth, his grip flexing on your ribs.

“There you go”, he murmured, his voice rough. His tongue flicked over his lower lip again, hunger flashing across his face.

Your fingers tightened, positioning him just right. Ben exhaled sharply, his hands tightening just enough to remind you who was in control. His gaze locked onto yours, dark and unreadable. “Now, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice thick with anticipation, “take your time—but don’t make me wait too long”.

You sucked in a breath as you slowly, so slowly, sank down onto him.

Ben’s fingers dug into your ribs, his grip tightening just slightly, like he was forcing himself to stay still, to let you take your time. His chest rose and fell in deep, controlled breaths, but his eyes, fuck, his eyes, told a different story. Dark. Blown wide. Ravenous. He didn’t just watch, he devoured every second.

His gaze flickered between the tiny, involuntary wiggle of your breasts, the way your lips parted in a silent gasp, down to where your bodies were finally connecting.

A sharp inhale hissed through his teeth, his jaw clenching as he felt you take him in.

Fuck. Ben had almost forgotten how good a human felt. How much better it was. Way better than any supe. No unnatural strength, no engineered enhancements, just raw, real heat. Tighter. Warmer. Squeezing him in a way he hadn’t felt in decades.

A low groan rumbled in his chest, his head tilting back for just a second before his gaze snapped back to you. “Fuckin’ shit”, he muttered, his voice strained. His fingers flexed against your ribs, grounding himself, his usual cocky confidence flickering into something rougher. “You—fuck”.

Your breath hitched, your hands bracing against his chest as you took more of him, inch by inch, stretching way more than you were used to.

Ben noticed. He felt it. The way you squeezed around him, the way your body fought to adjust, the way your breath trembled against his skin.

And fuck, if that didn’t drive him insane. His eyes dragged back down, watching the way you took him in, watching himself disappear into you. His smirk wavered, his lips parting as his grip tightened.

“Takin’ me so slow”, he muttered, his voice rough. His hands flexed again, resisting the urge to help, to pull you down the rest of the way. “You scared, sweetheart?”.

Your nails bit into his skin. “You’re big, Ben—”.

A deep chuckle rumbled through his chest, but there was no teasing in it—just pure satisfaction. “Yeah”, he muttered, dragging his lips against your throat. “And you’re takin’ every inch of me”.

His breath shuddered as you slid down another inch, his head falling back, his fingers twitching against your skin. His control was hanging by a damn thread.

“Goddamn”, he groaned, his voice rough and wrecked, his lips curling against your skin. “You feel so fuckin’ good”.

His hands squeezed tighter, his chest heaving, his body fighting not to move.

Your breath came in short, uneven bursts, your body trembling as you tried to take the last few inches of him. But you couldn’t. You were already shaking around him, stretched beyond anything you’d ever taken before, your thighs burning from the slow, agonizing pace.

“You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good, sweetheart”, he murmured, his voice low and rough.

Your nails pressed into his shoulders, frustration warring with pleasure. “Ben, I—”.

“I know”, he cut you off, his hands trailing higher.

And then, without warning, he moved. Not pushing you down. Instead, he shifted his grip, his warm, calloused hands cupping your breasts, fingers splaying wide as he took his time feeling every inch of you.

A deep, satisfied hum rumbled in his throat. “Fuck”, he muttered, his thumbs brushing over your sensitive skin, teasing just enough to make you shiver. “Look at these perfect little things”.

Heat crawled up your spine. “Ben—”.

“I fucking love ‘em”, he rasped, his lips trailing over your collarbone, dragging wet kisses along the curve of your neck. “Love how they fit in my hands”.

His thumbs flicked over your nipples, slow and deliberate, sending a sharp jolt of pleasure straight through you. His mouth trailing lower, his lips ghosting over your chest. “Bet you never had someone pay ‘em enough attention, huh?”.

Your fingers curled into his hair. “Ben—”.

“Mm”. His tongue flicked over sensitive skin, teasing, savoring, worshipping. “That’s a damn shame”.

He sucked at one of your nipples, rolling the other between his fingers, a deep groan vibrating against your skin as he felt the way your body reacted.

You gasped, your thighs trembling around his hips, the sensation making your body clench tighter around him.

Ben felt it. His breath shuddered. His fingers dug into your waist. And suddenly, his patience snapped. His hands grabbed your hips, his grip firm, possessive. “No more holdin’ back”, he muttered, his voice dark with hunger. His lips curled against your skin, his eyes flickering up, dark and wild. “Let me in”.

He’d been patient. Too patient. Letting you take your time, letting you adjust. But now? Now he knew you were ready. And Ben didn’t wait for permission when he already had what he wanted.

He pulled you down the rest of the way.

A strangled gasp left your lips as the last few inches finally stretched you fully, your body molding around him, taking all of him.

Ben groaned against your skin, his hands flexing on your waist, holding you still for a moment, forcing you to feel every inch of him, completely buried inside you. “Fuck”, he muttered, his voice strained, head tilting back, his eyes fluttering shut for half a second. “That’s it, sweetheart. That’s fuckin’ it”.

Your nails bit into his shoulders, your breath coming in sharp, desperate gasps as your body struggled to adjust, full in a way that made your head spin.

Ben felt it. Felt the way your body squeezed him, hot and tight and fucking perfect. He gritted his teeth, his cocky smirk wavering as he exhaled sharply, his restraint snapping like a thread stretched too thin.

His hands moved. One slid up your back, gripping the nape of your neck, tilting your head just enough for him to claim your mouth in a rough, hungry kiss, his other hand still holding your waist, keeping you exactly where he wanted you.

His hips rolled up, slow at first, teasing, taunting.

Your body shook, your fingers fisting in his hair as he pulled you down harder, making you take all of it.

Ben groaned, his smirk returning, dark and wicked against your lips. “Knew you could take it”, he muttered, his voice gravelly, dripping with satisfaction.

“You’re mine now, sweetheart”, he growled, his lips trailing down your throat, his teeth grazing over sensitive skin. “And I’m gonna ruin you”.

He gripped you tighter, and before you could react, he moved. In one fluid motion, he rolled you onto your back, pressing you into the couch, his body towering over you. He settled between your legs, his weight pinning you in place, his chest rising and falling with deep, steady breaths.

He caught your chin between his fingers, his grip firm, commanding. “Look”, he muttered, his voice dark and rough as he turned your head toward the massive mirror against the wall.

Your dazed reflection stared back at you—your body flushed, your lips swollen from his kisses, your thighs spread wide with Ben’s body pressing between them.

And him.

His broad chest, the way his muscles flexed with every movement, the raw, unrestrained power in the way he hovered over you, owning every inch of your body.

Ben grinned at the sight, his gaze flickering between the mirror and you, watching as realization dawned in your wide, lust-drunk eyes. “That’s a fuckin’ view”, he muttered, licking his lips, his grip on your jaw tightening just slightly. “See how good you look wrapped around me?”.

You swallowed hard, your breath shuddering, your body still adjusting to the fullness of him.

His hand trailed from your jaw, gliding down your throat, his fingers grazing your collarbone before finally settling over your chest. His smirk deepened.

Ben's lips trailed down your throat before settling on your chest. He took his time there, worshiping every inch of you. Kissing, sucking, dragging his tongue over sensitive skin, as though this was what he’d been chasing all along.

His hips didn’t stop.

The deep, rolling rhythm he set was unrelenting. Slow enough to make you feel every inch of him, deep enough to knock the air from your lungs. Your legs trembled, spread wide beneath his body, your fingers tangled in his hair as he moved lower, his mouth catching one of your nipples between his lips.

Your back arched off the couch. “Ben—”.

He groaned against you, the sound vibrating through your chest as his hips rolled again, hitting a spot that made your breath catch and your vision blur.

“Yeah”, he muttered, pulling back just enough to drag his teeth lightly across your skin. “That’s it. That’s what I want”. He wanted your shaking thighs, your gasps, your complete surrender. And he got it.

Your body began to coil, tension building so fast it was nearly unbearable. Every thrust, every flick of his tongue, every growled praise in your ear pushed you closer to the edge.

The mirror reflected all of it. His broad body moving above yours, the sweat-slick curve of your stomach, your eyes half-lidded in bliss and disbelief.

You weren’t running from him anymore. You were falling into him. “Ben—oh my—”.

Your whole body locked up beneath him as the pressure finally snapped. Your climax hit hard, a wave that rocked through you with such intensity you couldn’t even find your voice. Just breathless, broken gasps as your body writhed beneath his.

Ben didn’t slow. He watched you fall apart in the mirror, his mouth still dragging hot kisses across your chest, his voice low and rough.

“Just like that, sweetheart”, he murmured, dragging his lips across your collarbone, hips still grinding deep. “You feel that?”. He thrust once, deep and slow, sending aftershocks rolling through you. “That’s what you were made for”.

Ben didn’t stop. Not after your first climax. Not after the second. He kept going. His stamina was inhuman—because, well, he was. And for the next hour… then another… he had you beneath him, stretched out across that damn couch like his personal plaything.

You lost track of time somewhere between the heat of his skin and the way he never let you fully recover. Every time your body started to come down, he found a new angle, a new rhythm, a new way to push you higher.

By the time your body started to shake from exhaustion, your mind fogged, your limbs barely responding, you could barely form words. Your head lolled to the side, cheek pressed against the warm cushion, lips parted as you tried to catch a breath that never fully came.

Ben was still above you, chest gleaming with sweat, jaw tight, eyes locked on you.

He leaned down, dragging his mouth along your collarbone before whispering against your ear with that low, cocky rumble: “Shit, sweetheart… didn’t think you’d last this long”.

You tried to glare at him, but it came out more like a whimper.

“Two hours”, he murmured, voice thick with satisfaction. “And you’re still here, all fucked out and twitchy under me”.

His hand moved slowly over your chest again, he never seemed to get tired of that. Fingers splaying, palm covering one breast completely like it was molded to fit him.

He let out a low, satisfied hum. “Look at this”, he muttered, mostly to himself, brushing his thumb over your nipple, now too sensitive to do more than make your breath catch. “Fuck, I don’t know how anyone looks at these little tits and doesn’t lose their fuckin’ mind”.

You groaned softly, too tired to push him away, too drunk on the feeling to really want to.

“These days, girls always got these big, overinflated knockers”, Ben said with a lazy grin, clearly riding a post-orgasm high of his own. “Fake, heavy… all show, no fun”.

His other hand moved in, cupping the other breast, giving both the kind of reverent attention that made your overstimulated body spark again despite the exhaustion.

“But you?”, he said, voice dipping low, rough with affection wrapped in his usual arrogance. “You fit right in my hands. Cute, soft, fuckin’ perfect”.

You whimpered, cheeks burning, eyes barely able to stay open, but your body still arched for him, still craved the contact.

He chuckled darkly, leaning down again to brush a kiss between your breasts, his stubble scraping lightly against your skin. “Tiny tits”, he murmured, “but you took me like a fuckin’ warrior”.

His eyes met yours, lazy and smug but with something real beneath the heat. “You got no idea what you do to me, do you?”.

You wanted to say something, anything, but your voice had long since given out.

Ben just smirked. Pressed another kiss to your chest. Then one to your jaw. And pulled you tighter against him like you were the prize he’d been fighting for.

Ben let you rest against him for a while. Your body wrecked, boneless, your skin slick and glowing from every place he’d touched. His breathing was calm. Yours was ragged.

Eventually, you stirred just enough to shift, your cheek brushing against his shoulder. For a second, the silence between you almost felt… peaceful.

But Ben wasn’t built for peace. “Damn”, he muttered, more to himself than to you. “Didn’t think you had that in you”.

His hand slipped from your waist and dragged through his hair, still damp with sweat. He looked down at you. Not with softness, but with a kind of impressed detachment. Like a soldier admiring the aftermath of a well-executed mission. “Guess you’re more than just a mouthy little assistant after all”.

There it was—him.

You didn’t respond. Couldn’t, really. You were half-asleep, still trying to figure out if your legs remembered how to work.

Ben stood, stretching with a grunt, his muscles rolling beneath his skin. He didn’t help you up. Didn’t ask how you were feeling. He just grabbed the nearest towel from the dresser, wiped himself down like he’d just finished a workout, then reached for what was left of his gear.

“You’ll be fine”, he said, voice flat now, all business. “Just don’t pass out here. That’d be embarrassing for both of us”.

You rolled your eyes, dragging in a shaky breath as you tried to push yourself upright. Every muscle in your body screamed in protest, your legs barely responding, like they weren’t entirely convinced the night was over.

“Yeah, yeah…”, you muttered, voice hoarse. “I’ll be out of your way in a sec”.

You stood—or tried to. Your knees buckled almost immediately, the room tilting on its axis as your balance gave out.

Before you could hit the floor, his strong arm snapped out and caught you by the waist, hauling you up with the same ease he’d thrown you around for the last two hours.

You blinked up at him, caught somewhere between embarrassment and disbelief.

Ben just raised an eyebrow, smirking down at you like it was all part of the show. “Geez”, he muttered. “Didn’t think I actually rearranged your spine”.

You glared, weakly. “Asshole”.

He helped you steady yourself, but only just long enough to make sure you weren’t about to faceplant into the carpet, then let go like it never happened.

Ben grabbed his last piece of gear and headed for the door. But just before he stepped out, he turned slightly, looking at you over his shoulder. “That mouth of yours better be just as sharp tomorrow”, he said, the corner of his lip curling. “Wouldn’t want you getting soft on me now”.

Then he was gone. No goodbye. No look back.

Just the silence of the room, the ache in your bones, and the echo of his boots down the hall, leaving you with nothing but a ruined couch, shaky legs, and the knowledge that whatever just happened?

It was very Soldier Boy. And it was never happening again…Probably.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

Taglist: @blackcherrywhiskey @baby19sthings @suckitands33 @spnfamily-j2 @lyarr24 @deans-baby-momma @reignsboy19 @kawaii-arfid-memes @mekkencspony @lovziy @artemys-ackles @fitxgrld @libby99hb @lovelyvirtualperson @a-lil-pr1ncess @nancymcl @the-last-ry @spndeanwinchesterlvr @hobby27 @themarebarroww @kr804573 @impala67rollingthroughtown @deans-queen @deadlymistletoe @selfdestructionandrhum @utyblyn @winchesterwild78 @jackles010378 @chirazsstuff @foxyjwls007 @smoothdogsgirl @woooonau @whimsyfinny @freyabear @laaadygisbooornex3 @quietgirll75 @perpetualabsurdity @pughsexual @berryblues46 @deanwinchestersgirl8734 @kr804573 @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @iloveeveryoneyoureamazing @barnes70stark @roseblue373 @shanimallina87 @ascarriel @deanwinchesters67impala @thebiggerbear @quietgirll75 @barnes70stark @kellyls04 @spxideyver @ralilda @americanvenom13 @ozwriterchick @lmg14

#jensen ackles #soldier boy x y/n #soldier boy x you #soldier boy x reader #soldier boy fanfiction #the boys soldier boy #ben x you #ben x reader #soldier boy #soldier boy the boys #soldier boy smut #soldier boy x female reader #the boys smut #the boys

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lovely-writes-alot · 1 day ago

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There's this story story compition that I'm planning on entering and I jsut finished writing it (editing with happen tomorrow lol) but I'm pretty sure there's several people who will want to read it so I shall gift it upon you all

I will have to cut out a good chunk of it cause it's like 450 words over the limit 😅

Unlike humans, I wasn't made from two people who love each other. I was made from clay, and was born in a kiln.

I don't remember being shaped, nor the process of coming into this world. I had no choice but to exist.

Humans, nor gods for that matter, tell you how hard existing is. I still can't really wrap my head around how much learning you have to do. Walking, Talking, Cooking, Cleaning. No wonder they get so exhausted.

Humans do have a significant advantage. They get to do more than just exist. They get to live. They don't realise how lucky they are to be able to do things so easily, feel emotions, just experience it all the way only a human can.

For the thousands of years I've existed I have longed for that, and I finally got my chance.

My creator, a god called Sanut, ushers me out the back door of him temple, continuous glancing behind him.

"Okay, dear. I'm going to busy for…. most of the day. Just come back when the sun starts setting. And just get out of view from the windows." He quickly turned to head back inside.

"What if I get lost?" I asked, my tone just as plain and monotone as normal.

"I'm a god, dear. I'll find you." I couldn't really argue with that, so I let him enter the temple again, before turning.

I wondered a little, trying to get used to the feeling of grass. It was a interesting texture. Spiky, but in a good way. I hoped it won't stain the white clay that I was made of.

The back part of the temple was in its own shadow at this point of the day, making it slightly cold. I didn't know shadows could do that.

Everything out here intrigued me. Whilst Sanut's temple was pretty, it couldn't compare to nature looked.

I continued to walk around the shadowed area, just taken all of it's beauty, and touching everything.

I'm surprised by how nice the bumps and unevenness of trees, rocks, and dirt felt. The way humans acted made me think the feeling would be unpleasant.

For the first time, I felt my curiosity override my need to keep myself safe, letting myself run my fingers across everything I could without worrying if my fingers would snap off.

I enjoyed my exploration for a while longer, before the bush rustles.

I completely froze. "Hello?" I call.

More rustling.

I stood there for a moment, not sure if I should run or investigate. Was rustling a good thing?

It rustled some more, the sound growing as whatever was in there came closer.

Whilst the rational part of me was screaming it run, I crept closer, trying to get a peek inside the bush.

Before I could get a good look inside, the creature walked out. It was a small, fluffy, rodent.

I stared for a moment, admiring it slightly, a strange feeling washing over me. It stared back, jsut for a second, before running off.

"Wait!" The words slipped from my mouth before I realised, and my legs started chasing it before my brain could catch up.

I trailed behind it for a while, weaving my way through the trees. I didn't know that the forest here was so dense.

I eventually came to a stop, letting the rodent run out of my sight.

I had stumbled across someone. A young girl, no older then 19, sitting in the middle of a ring of trees with a pile of flowers sat in front of her as she twisted them together.

I must've been staring for a while, as she eventually glanced up at me. "Are you going to continue staring or do you want to join?" She asked, her tone slightly teasing.

I imagined if I wasn't made of clay, I would've blush, but I welcomed the offer, and sat down next to her.

She had a small smile on her face, she happily continued weaving the flowers together as she hummed a soft tune under her breath. It was a beautiful melody, sometime I hadn't heard yet.

"What are you humming?" I asked.

"The night we met, by Lord Huron. It's one of my favorites."

I nodded. "Can't say I've heard of it."

The girls jaw dropped. "Do you live under a rock?!"

"Uh- no, I live in a temple-"

She chuckled. "I know that, silly."

"Oh."

Her gazed shifting following mine to the flowers. "Would you like to learn?" She asked.

"Learn what?"

"How to make a flower crown." She held hers round her head.

I nodded, quickly, hoping my neck wouldn't crack.

She moved closer grabbed a few flowers.

We stayed there, for most of the day. We make several crowns, we talked, we laughed, and it made me feel different. A nice different.

I learnt her name was Charlotte, and when she learnt that I didn't have a name, she demanded we fixed that. We decided on Delilah.

It wasn't until the sun set that we had to part ways, for now at least, but despite being alone once more, I felt like I had changed during that day, like somthing in me was unlocked.

***

We continued to meet up in the forest almost everyday, especially as Sanut's business increased.

Charlotte taught me a range of activities. Some went well, like drawing and acting, others, like swimming, weren't made for my body.

I started to grow fond of her, her presence becoming something that was intertwine in my life. Being around her, and experiencing this joy was something that was exhilarating. It was the only time I wished I could smile properly.

It was almost perfect, until it wasn't.

I started to notice that Charlotte's presence started to slow, only slowly, until it suddenly stopped completely.

The first time I was confused. she wouldn't just leave me like that, right?

I spent that entire day looking for her. I'm not really sure why I thought I would find her.

I felt a new emotion when I saw the sun setting. I started questioning why she hadn't shown. Was she sick? Was she busy? Did I upset her? Would she come back? All the thoughts swam around my head like a school of fish.

The next day, I went to look again. Still no sign of Charlotte.

The new feeling from yesterday came up even stronger, but instead of looking, I sat down, hoping that maybe she was just running late.

The same questions as before whirled around me, and other emotion started to build up. Anger.

I had seen anger before. Sanut had shown me anger before, but I didn't realise how much the anger came from the feeling I was feeling before.

All these feelings grew again as the sun started to set once more. Why did she stop showing up?

I repeated this cycle for multiple days, and after a while of nearly driving myself crazy with the questions, I started to feel different about it all.

Whilst I was still sad about the fact Charlotte stopped meeting me, another part of me was happy that I got to experience the memories with her I had.

I learnt a lot, about myself and the world, and that I really enjoyed doing certain things, especially stuff that was creative. If I hadn't met her, I never would've learnt that.

Once Sanut ushered me out for the 8th day, I walked much slower to the spot. I let myself enjoy the feeling of everything again. The grass, the trees, the sun. I soaked it all in like it would be the last time I felt it all.

I went to the same ring of trees I chased the rodent into. I hope it was okay after that, I must've given it quite the fright.

I looked around, only just noticing the wildflowers that had started to grow, adding bright colour to the area.

I went over, a picked some carefully, making sure that I left it all mostly undisturbed.

I took my little collect and I took it all to the centre area. I sat down, taking a few flowers, and started to weave them together, into a crown. I hummed a familiar tune to myself, a wave of joy coming over me again.

This time, Charlotte may have not been there, but I still felt happy, and that's all that mattered to me.

This joy was mine, no matter the circumstances.

Any thoughts and opinions are welcome and very much wanted

tagging people who I think will care

@hellincarnation @daonedaonlysk @jerry-the-leech @sunnies-theory-of-happiness @dreamboyinthedarkvoid @childofthewargod

#lovely talks #lovely writes #short story #short stories #creative writing #writing #writer #story writing #writers on tumblr #writers and poets #writeblr #writing community #writerscommunity

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billiesbabygirleilish · 3 hours ago

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hi angellllll!!!!! go figure, gracie is asking for fluff 🤓 could you write a fic where billie is just having a super bubbly clingy day with reader? like maybe they’re just running errands at the grocery store and whatnot, and billie is just in a giddy mood and is happy to be spending time with reader? even at home doing laundry and all that jazz?? and she’s giving reader all the love and kisses!! love ya babe!!

Velcro

dedicated to: @gracie-eilish

WOAH GRACIE FANCY SEEING YOU HERE (almost like i asked you to request smth 🤨)

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

It starts before either of you are even out of bed.

You feel her crawl across the sheets, all sleepy limbs and messy hair, and then suddenly she's half on top of you — an arm slung across your stomach, cheek pressed to your chest like a clingy little koala.

“Don’t wanna get up,” she murmurs, voice scratchy and low.

“We said we’d leave by ten,” you remind her, brushing your fingers through her hair. “If we wait too long the store’s gonna be packed.”

“Let it be packed,” she sighs. “Let chaos reign.”

You snort, but you let her stay there for another few minutes. You’re not in a rush, not really. Besides, Billie in one of her clingy moods is like having a very affectionate cat with a soft voice and cold feet. It’s sweet. It’s chaos. It’s her.

Eventually, you coax her out of bed with the promise of a car snack and the idea of people-watching at the store. She dresses in the hoodie you stole from her last week and didn't give back, and she doesn’t bother with shoes until you're already halfway out the door.

At the store, Billie’s energy is unmistakably sunshine-mode.

She holds your hand before you’ve even made it past the shopping carts, swinging your arms between you like you’re in a rom-com from the early 2000s. She's humming under her breath, pressing quick kisses to your cheek whenever you pause the cart, and genuinely acting like grocery shopping is the most exciting thing you’ve ever done together.

“Oh my god,” she gasps dramatically in front of the bakery display. “Do you see this muffin? That is the most majestic muffin I’ve ever seen.”

“You said that about the donuts last week.”

“Well, I stand by it,” she says, tossing the muffin into the cart and looping both arms around your waist like she might fall apart if she lets go. “You’re not allowed to go more than five feet away from me today.”

“You’re literally holding me hostage in aisle four.”

She grins. “Good. Now we’re both on the same page.”

It continues like that the entire trip — Billie glued to your side like you’re her favorite stuffed animal. She holds your hand while you compare cereal brands, gives you puppy eyes when you pass the snack aisle without stopping, and climbs on the bottom of the cart just to ride it through the frozen section like a toddler.

People probably stare, but neither of you care. Billie’s happiness is contagious, and you find yourself smiling so much your cheeks start to ache.

At one point, she drapes herself over your back while you're checking the ingredients on a jar of pasta sauce.

“Are you bored?” you ask, glancing at her over your shoulder.

“No,” she says, voice muffled against your sweater. “I just like being on you.”

You laugh and reach back to rub gentle circles along her arm. “You’re like a weighted blanket with opinions.”

“I’m your emotional support girlfriend,” she corrects proudly.

“You’re something, that’s for sure.”

At checkout, she unloads the cart with exaggerated flair, like you’re both in a cooking show. You pretend not to notice the way she sneaks a pack of gum and your favorite candy onto the conveyor belt. When you pay, she hugs your arm and thanks you like you just bought her a puppy.

Outside, as you load bags into the trunk, Billie wraps her arms around you from behind and rests her chin on your shoulder. Her voice is softer now — still light, but not as bubbly.

“Thanks for letting me be annoying,” she says into your hoodie.

“You’re not annoying,” you reply, glancing back at her. “You’re cute when you’re like this.”

She pulls back just enough to meet your eyes, a slight pink tint on her cheeks. “You think I’m cute all the time.”

“And you act like that’s not true.”

Billie leans in and kisses you — soft and warm and a little longer than you expected — then leans her forehead against yours.

“Can we go home and eat pasta in bed and watch something dumb?”

“Only if you promise to actually watch it this time and not just lie on top of me.”

“No promises,” she grins.

You pretend to roll your eyes, but you’re already unlocking the doors.

Because the truth is, you love her clingy days. The silly, sugar-sweet moods. The way she turns even grocery shopping into something that feels like a date. Like something worth remembering.

And as she buckles herself into the passenger seat and throws you one of the mini candy bars she snuck into the bag, you realize: You could do this every day, and never get tired of it.

#billiesbabygirleilish #billieeilish #billie eilish #billie eilish x reader #billie eilish x you #billie eilish x y/n #billie eilish x fem! reader #billie eilish x female reader #billie eilish fluff #Billie eilish fic #billie eilish fanfic #billie eilish fanfiction #billie eilish blurb #billie eilish imagine #for my moot

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lucydixon · 10 hours ago

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Match my Freak

GIF crafted by @sweet-dr3amer

This one's a little weird and unsettling, but I like it. It's not quite smut and open to interpretation. Warning: Self-harm, blood, blood kink?

On the night of Mayhem’s first show with Pelle, you’d been standing in the audience when he slashed his wrists on stage. The warm sticky blood had splattered across the side of your face, and you’d gasped, somewhere between surprise and delight.

This was the kind of thing that drove you towards black metal gigs.

You had yet to find any place else where throwing a pig head into the crowd was met with cheers as opposed to horrified screams.

The band continued playing while their front man staggered around, still growling into the mic.

That was really the only word you could think of to describe the sounds he was making.

Growling.

It was so low that you could feel the vibration of his voice deep in your chest.

You were fixated on him and the blood pouring out of his arms. The stage lighting made it look black. The blue and red lights reflected off the droplets as they spilled onto the stage floor.

Your thoughts drifted from the music to what it would be like to climb on stage and run your finger along his skin, gathering a good amount of blood before popping it in your mouth. You pictured your tongue swirling around it, eager to get every last drop.

It had been some time since you’d had someone else’s blood in your mouth. Too long.

He was losing quite a bit of it.

Wasting it.

You licked your lips and tasted iron.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you inhaled sharply, running your tongue over your bottom lip. You couldn’t help the groan that fell from your lips, not that anyone could have possibly heard it over the music. You hadn’t even really heard it, so much as you’d felt the vibration of your vocal cords on the exhale.

When you opened your eyes, you were staring up at him, a little startled by the eye contact.

The music had stopped, and the crowd was roaring, but the two of you were locked in some kind of silent staring contest.

You thought for a moment that he’d seen you lick the blood from your lips and was freaked out, but then you saw a glimmer of what almost looked to you like understanding. It was like he was staring into your soul and could see every fucked up thing you’d done and thought, but didn’t look troubled by it whatsoever.

He had to tear his gaze away to walk off stage, but he looked over his shoulder twice.

You took that as permission to wander backstage.

By the time you’d weaved your way through the crowd and slipped in through the back of the venue, spilling into the backstage area, Someone had wrapped electrical tape around his arms in an attempt to stop the bleeding.

There were a few people milling around. The band was packing up their equipment while chatting with what you could only assume was a group of their friends.

He was standing off to the side, watching the door as if he’d been waiting for you.

He straightened when he saw you, swaying a little from the blood loss, and you wasted no time crossing the room to stand right in front of him.

You didn’t steady him.

Didn’t touch him, or open your mouth to speak.

You just stood there, less than a foot between the two of you, and stared up into his eyes. He seemed a little startled, but not uncomfortable with your proximity. If anything, he looked intrigued.

Your gaze dropped down to his arms, then back up to his eyes as you reached out for one of them, silently asking permission. He wasn’t sure why he felt so eager to comply, but he let you take his arm and inspect the brutal wounds.

You turned it over gently and used your free hand to gather some of the fresh blood seeping from under the tape on the pad of your finger. He watched, mesmerized, as you looked into his eyes and popped your blood-covered finger into your mouth.

He inhaled sharply, unsure if he was afraid or turned on.

The way his dick twitched in his pants had him convinced it was the latter.

Neither of you had to exchange a word.

You nodded towards the back door, eyes glimmering with mischief, and he started walking immediately.

The two of you stepped out into the cool night air, tingling with excitement, and found yourselves standing in an alley. Grimy and dingy, it smelled faintly of piss and cheap beer.

You went for his arm again, and this time, you ran your tongue directly over the skin, lapping up whatever non-congealed blood you could access around the tape.

A shaky moan fell from his lips as he watched you, entranced by your strange and unsettling nature. He was completely and utterly enamoured by you.

He could faintly hear the boys calling out to him, probably looking for him, but he didn’t care. Tuned it out entirely, especially once you’d looked up at him, blood smeared all around your mouth and dribbling down your chin.

Pelle had never initiated a kiss with a girl in his entire life. He’d kissed a few, but when it came down to it, it was never him leaning in at the beginning.

He was suddenly overwhelmed by the urge to kiss you.

You looked like you’d let him, too.

Any doubt he had was squashed when you tilted your head back as if you were waiting for him to do just that, licking your lips and moaning softly when your tongue caught a loose drop of blood.

He couldn’t stop himself.

Pelle ducked down and pressed his mouth to yours hard, immediately able to taste his blood on you. His lips parted and welcomed your tongue, snaking its way into his mouth, groaning at the feeling of swapping blood-covered spit.

Before he could get too lost in the kiss, you were pulling away.

You flashed him your teeth and pecked him on the lips one last time before leaving him standing there, watching you walk down the alley and disappear around the corner.

“Dead!” Euronymous shouted just as the metal door slammed open. “What the fuck are you doing out here? We’ve been calling you.”

“There was a girl.” He breathed, still staring in the direction you’d gone. “We were kissing.”

Pelle’s bandmate looked at him like he’d lost his damn mind.

“You’ve got blood all over your mouth,” He pointed out, barking out a startled laugh “Were you licking your arm, you sick fuck?”

“No,” Pelle looked at him finally, eyes slightly widened, “She did.”

“Sure, she did.” Euronymous waved him inside, looking like he didn’t believe him.

“She did!”

“Did you find him?” Someone called from inside.

“Yeah.” The Guitarist chuckled, shaking his head, “He was making out with a ghost!”

Pelle frowned, wondering for a second if he was right.

Dividers made by @saradika-graphics

#Pelle Ohlin #Pelle x reader #Dead lords of chaos #Dead mayhem #Dead x reader #TW - SH #blood kink?#Lords of chaos #Jack Kilmer #IDK what this is lol

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bronx-bomber87 · 2 days ago

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Happy Wednesday lovely Fandom/readers :) I cannot believe we are in the final 3 episodes. If it think on it too much makes me sad. So let's not dwell on that. lol This episode did not disappoint in the least. End to end it was so good. Said this time and time again but it's a theme this year. So proud of this show for returning to it's roots. What I mean by that is the entire show being so damn good along with Chenford SL's. The ensemble side of it is running on all cylinders. Not an easy thing to do 7 seasons in.

I'm not saying I didn't enjoy or the last couple years years. I adored them to no end. Don't get me wrong. Was in absolute Chenford heaven and some non ones I loved too. But it's nice to have the show as a whole be fantastic. Week in and week out for the most part again. Each SL having purpose and keeping me engaged. Writers just brought it this year and then some. Continue to see why this is Eric's fav season yet.

It's become mine as well. Seth's return was as impactful and good as I was expecting it to be. Can't explain enough how proud I am of this show. Makes me emotional tbh. Day one girl over here so it just hits me sometimes, how excited I am to see us thrive. The giving season continues to give with the goodies we get in this one. So let us begin.

7x16 The Return

Seth is back....Of course he threw his corrupt oncologist under the bus to get back in. That’s low. I mean I expect nothing less from him. tbh. They could’ve at least sent him to another station… He picked the perfect time to pick on the LAPD I will say. What Wade’s saying is frustrating but unfortunately, he’s right. Letting them know they need someone to train him. I mean piss-pants wouldn’t last two seconds with Tim…But that isn't the plan. Nor would that be fair to Miles.

Poor Lucy’s PTSD is screaming out how much she doesn’t want him. Ugh my heart. Kudos to Melissa in this moment. We watch as she unclenches as Nolan is tapped for this instead. Not excited in the least but willing to take it on. Good man. I have enjoyed Nolan so much more this year than I have in ages. Grey letting him know he's going to have to watch his every move. Document everything this kid does. Ooof been there Nolan. It suckkkssss.

I had someone on my team at my old job like this. Played the system and was a walking law suit just like Seth. They didn’t deserve to be there and that's hard to deal with. I learned the hard way to record literally every detail in order to 'Wash' them out so to speak. It’s not easy to fire a legal liability. Especially when they have the system on their side. All I could think was he’s gonna have to bounce him for the slightest FTO infraction. To have that piled against many other documented offenses. What I had to do. Not an easy feat. Commend Nolan for taking it on.

Lucy so excited to see Tamara. It's precious. Her love for the people in her life is so genuine and pure. Oh my lord. Their hug made me so happy. Didn't get a chance to fit it in but maybe in my in-depth this summer I can haha I had a feeling this would be for Seth though…. Not to see her. Even though that's a bonus for them both. She is there to support this turd of a human being. *sigh* Wanting Lucy to be his friend.

Channeling some 2x06 Tim in telling Tamara she's his training officer not his friend. I mean we all know it was a lie for Tim but very very true for Lucy in this instance. Lucy can see she is losing Tamara to her Tim-like rant and stops. It's here Tamara asks the world of Lucy. By saying she wants to have dinner tonight with her. For her to meet the 'real' Seth. If she only knew how ironic that sentence was...

He has her wrapped out his conniving little finger. I hate it so much. I wanna say how could she be so blind? But I’ve been emotionally manipulated by a man before. It sucks when you come out the other side of it. It happens sadly more often than it should. Ugh the damage this will cause…Lucy being the amazing pseudo mom she is says yes. Wanting to maintain her relationship with her. Not to lose it to Seth and his lies. Other than Tim she is the one person she would do anything for.

Ice cold reception… ooof. You are gonna fail my man. One might ask why come back to this station? Well manipulative narcissists love attention. Even if it’s negative. They thrive off it really. Also they ALWAYS have someone sympathetic to their cause to fuel the sympathy card. In this case it's Tamara. I hate it. Giving me my own ptsd concerning a person like this. I do love Nolan telling him they're skipping roll call get the shop ready. Smart move....

Awesome that his previous errors follow him into his return. No re-do for you. John laying that out right away. Might actually love you in his episode good sir. Seth immediately defending his lie and Nolan is over him already. if you really wanna do this stfu Seth. Only hurting your cause the more you speak.

God Nolan is channeling some Feral Tim here and I’m about it. Get em John! You hurt this station, you hurt Lucy and you dishonored the badge you putz. Nolan is a honorable as they come. Yes that was a compliment lol. And you spat in the face of everything he holds dear about this career. Also you hurt his friend. You are toast my son. Or as Nolan puts it. His nightmare T.O. He crushes Seth with his idc speech.

About how he was raised by someone like him. Grew up with a woman who only used the truth to serve herself. *Mic drop* If that isn’t Seth in a nutshell. Can’t say ever been attracted to Nolan on this show like ever. But hot damn this is a Nolan I can get on board with. lmao I’m enjoying the show. *eats popcorn* Tearing down any preconceived notions this will be easy or he will believe him. Well done John actually really proud of him for this scene. Good job writers.

When Celina tries to see the best about Seth with Lucy all I could do was shake my head. Thinking 'Oh Celina don’t defend him.' That’s the worst thing you could do in this moment. He is not a 'see the best in people kind of guy.' You are talking to the Queen of that and she is over it. He took advantage of her empathy and used it to gain traction in a program he didn’t belong in. As I said earlier he’s doing it for the attention like the lying manipulative narcissist he is. Holy cow this episode is igniting my Sicilian rage with him lol

It brings us to the dinner and how Lucy doesn't have the room to host such an event. So what does she do? Calls her person of course and enlists his help in this. All I could think as she dialed was, OMG Lucy Chen, you’re asking Tim, who’ll go absolutely feral not just for you but for Tamara too, to host this kid in his house for dinner? It's a good thing this man is gone for you. That is quite the ask my girl haha Enticing him with a free home cooked meal at first.

Did make me cackle her eye roll when he said his plans were COD. LOL You love your reclusive little gaming nerd madam. Don't lie. Will say my Feral Tim senses were tingling at the prospect of this. Miles seems so hurt Lucy is cooking for him though. Oh honey, it’s not like that....It's written all over his upset puppy face when it's mentioned. Wanna give him a hug.

The way she says ‘I’ll owe you.’ Dripping with innuendo. Flirt more Lucy my god woman. No shame in her game. Knowing she is being seductive af in her approach. Celina catches on and Lucy has to put up a finger to stop her from saying a word. Knowing exactly what Lucy is throwing down here. Of course he gives in. For a couple reasons. One because Lucy has him wrapped around her finger and she knows it LOL This man would do anything for her. That was the case before he was in love with her. But after? When she has potential sexy times to dangle in front of him? Whew lord. Has him hook, line, and sinker.

Two. He gets nervous with her being so brazen with Miles there. So he answers quickly with an 'Ok.' It's the way his eye dart over to Texas as he delivers his answer that kills me. heh. He can't get too excited with the prospect of her 'owing' him with his rookie in the car lmao I didn't have Lucy seducing Tim with the 'owing' him in on shift on my bingo card. But so glad it happened.

Giving season continues to give. Sweet lord. Celina is all but beaming when Lucy hangs up on him. She is our on-screen shipper this season and I'm here for it. Doesn't waste a second giving her shit about it. She is red af when she tells Celina to shut up haha Lucy is giddy as hell and flying high off that convo and it's adorable to watch. Look at her as red as a tomato once it's said and done. I love it.

There is something so wonderful about how Miles immediately vents his frustration to Tim. This relationship has come so very far. Their scenes just continue to get better as the season goes along. I totally understand his anger. He’s done everything right and yet it’s the bad ones that get the passes. The legs up in life by being dishonest. I could not understand this more if I tried. Twas me in my last job.

His anger is well founded. He’s getting his job back, back pay of 10k, Miles passed up money in 7x13 to do the right thing, and Seth doesn’t and gets all this. 10K in his lap just like that. I get it. Frustrating as hell to watch the bad people of the world have it easier. All I could think was his day will come Texas I promise you.

Karma thou art a cold and relenting bitch. She’s coming for him. He’s racking up bad karma points like he’s collecting carnival tickets. Thing is when he cashes them in all that is waiting is one giant karmic smackdown. Tim tells him exactly that in his statement more or less. For Miles to put him out of his mind. Mark his words *yum* He will wash out again. What ran through my mind after that was your lips to Gods ears Timothy.

Seth comes in wanting more pity. Miles ignores him as first. Holding firm like Tim told him to. Then he gets under his skin about his past. A wound not close to healing and he snaps....As much as he deserves that beating it wasn't the way to go my dear. Tim and Nolan hear the commotion and find them after they've parted.

Tim is less than impressed with their explanation. He looks so disappointed in Miles. That look wasn't enough though. Tim telling Texas straight. His moral compass has me fanning myself. Crushing exactly why he needs to keep his cool. To not let him infect him like he has. Because now look at him. Becoming no better than he is with lying. *sad sigh* He’s not worth it Miles I promise you that. They never are.

Lucy asking where his salad forks are? Lmao. You practically lived with this man. You should know he has no salad forks sweets. lol His fridge full of just beer is such a bachelor thing. I mean that alone should've answered her question really. lol I love him so much. Also could they be more together without being together? His smile when she asked. *happy sigh* I’m on the floor. Just a happy puddle. Leave me here. TIm isn't even pretending he doesn't want to do this with her. He is so happy to have her in his home.

I'm happy to be here as well. Tim's place has become one of my fav spots to be now. They act as married as two people can be that aren't together..... Very s4 of them with the added layer of already knowing they're in love with each other. She legit touches him on her way back into the kitchen. Just watch her while Celina speaks. Her arm touches him with a happy smile before checking on dinner.

I'm dying. Melissa and Eric kill me with their add on's. You know that was intentionally done. They love to make us squee with the smallest things. Just to see if we're looking. I was looking don't you worry. You gotta be looking for this instance but it's there. *screams into a pillow* It's so domestic I'm losing my damn mind. Like her picking lint off his uniform like she did in 5x12. It's second nature this natural touch of hers and it comes through as such. I'm a happy girl.

I love Tim putting his hand up when they hear the doorbell. Shielding her from having to let them in. Wanting to give her that extra time to mentally prep herself for this evening. Such a small but massive gesture. Showing Lucy he's got her back through and through. It makes me so damn happy. He's going to do whatever for her tonight. To do his damndest to help her get through this unscathed.

It's tense as hell from the moment Tim opens the door. They can all feel it. Another reason Tim takes the lead here. His face when he takes their coats....Feral Tim is lurking beneath the surface but keeps him at bay. Loves Lucy so very much to welcome this incredibly unwelcome guest into his home for her. It's as painfully awkward as expected when they come greet Lucy. We see her be genuine in her affections for Tamara and how reserved she is with Seth.

The train wreck of convo continues when he changes course and says 'We-we got you flowers.' Sensing her not caring he got her the flowers. She is trying SO hard to keep it together. Barely squeaks out a thank you before heading back toward the kitchen. ‘What are the chances he took these off a grave?’ Celina Juarez I love you. I was laughing so damn hard at this. Lucy groans and heads back in.

The dinner starts out positive. We find out Tamara is volunteering with a wonderful organization. One that helps homeless people. That they focus on building trust with the mentally ill. Which is utter perfection for her. Honestly that is a *chefs kiss* career trajectory for her. Seems like she is on the right path in every way except for Seth..... Lucy seems so excited and proud of her for it. It does gets slightly tainted with her saying she is going to get Seth involved one day.

Rodge puts his foot in his mouth by speaking in Spanish to Celina about him. Sorry the captions ran over each other. Hulu is a turd lol Saying he's not sure building trust is his thing lol. Gotta give it to him on that one. First time I've liked this dude. Also will give it to them it's cute they communicate in Spanish to each other as a secret language. Still think she could do better but this is cute.

Unfortunately Seth can speak it.....Rodge has to backtrack immediately saying he was just joking. We watch Tim check in on Lucy right away. The way he shifts back in his seat and he keeps his eyes squarely on her. His main concern at this table is her and only her. He did this dinner for her and is ready to be her emotional support should the need arise. Lucy looks ready to burst before this next section happens. It's why Tim is watching her like a hawk.

I will say I loved the looks shared over the table during this whole thing. Oh my lord. The silent communication always a fav of mine. They check in with each other from across the table. Also just the way Tim watches Lucy too. Gauges the whole table but mainly keeps a beat on her. Waiting for a signal to jump in or not. He reads her the entire dinner. I love it. Knowing if she needs him she will signal him. He's just waiting for that sign to tag in or not.

We watch as her ring gets exposed....All I could think was sweet lord no Tamara. You’re so much smarter than this. Seth stumbling saying it's not what it looks like. That it's a promise ring. Rodge coming in with another solid point. Saying that's exactly what a engagement ring is....For a habitual liar he's so very bad at it. It's unreal. Also Celina pulling on her ear like crazy being ignored by all at the table lol We are far past that now though.

I knew the ring was gonna set her off. Hell it set me off. I had to pause and reprimand her myself. This is Lucy's tipping point. Especially after Seth says he had extra money lying around. Poor choice of words to use my dude. I love the way Tim's eyes shift over to Lucy when she says 'You had extra money?' angrily. He knows when his girl is ready to go off on one. But she is off to the races before he can do anything about it.

He wasn't stopping this one. Instead he just sit backs and watches her let it rip. Knowing she needs to get this out of her system. Lucy lets out all she’s had pent up. He is PTSD in walking form for her. Not only that but he's infecting someone very dear to her. So I get it. It’s already a tough pill for her to swallow with just him at work. But with Tamara and her future? Being so nonchalant bout the ring and how he got it. She can't handle it any longer.

Sadly no one hears anger clearly when they’re already on the defensive. Especially if it’s about someone they’re protecting. Which is Tamara in this moment. Even though Lucy is in the right it's not well received. It's why Tim doesn't jump in. I was expecting some Feral Tim but this was the smarter play for him. Even if it wasn't the right move to lose it he didn't need interfere. It would just pour fuel on Lucy’s fire and do nothing to ease the tension. We watch Tamara take off with Seth as a result and it's not easy to stomach.

We see Tim showing up like a god damn snack the following morning. Hell not just a snack but a whole god damn meal. Scruffy in a leather jacket and henley.*fans self* Not only that but he has arrived to support her before his shift. I’m dead. I’m posting from the grave. If you've been looking for his small doses all year. This is a glaringly sweet one. My god look at how excited he looks to just share a ride and prep with her. Doing his Lucy smile in front of other people. OTHER PEOPLE. Transparent Tim you are a wonder.

I’m dying of happiness right now. She is giving heart eyes right back at him. Truly touched by his thoughtfulness to show up before work and make the time for this. Make time for her. Forever floored by the changed man in front of her. After the mess that was last night, this was exactly what she needed and her reaction says it all. Legit flirting in front of Celina and Rodge too. They don’t even care. Tim doesn't care. Which is mind blowing.

He is sunshine from the moment he steps into that apartment. Yes, that's right I said Tim Bradford and sunshine in the same sentence. And I'm not referring to Lucy in this regard. He is so damn happy to just be there for her and its radiating off him in waves. So much so he is flirting with her in front of people. Pre-therapy Tim never would've. He's grown so much in his openness I could cry. He is a puppy dog in love and doesn't care who see's it. It's written all over his demeanor from the moment he walks in the door.

'What was that?' LMAO You think you can get shit past his cop eyes? Foolish fools lol But also babe, you were a shining beacon of 'I’m in love with Lucy' from the moment you walked in the door. Even a laymen like Rodge could see it….You guys aren't known for your subtlety either haha But you were on blast from the moment you came in. Just like he has been all season long. Also doesn't help his case Lucy was just as flirtatious in return. Fueling his flames. I love him trying to sell the whole ‘we’re just friends’ thing.

Like showing up for her, heart practically on his sleeve, is just some casual act of support. You two couldn’t do casual if your lives depended on it.. He's so god damn cute trying to defend himself though. I cannot. While we know he is there to support her. Truly he is. There is zero doubt about that. The man is ecstatic to help her cross the finish line of this. Especially since the detective one was such a disaster. But the other half is damn near giddy about the implications of her passing this test. We all know what those are. I don't even to type that up.

To say he is excited about the prospect is an understatement. I love his defeated ‘OK'. Hahahaha Eric's inflection killing me and has me rolling so much. Knows he is in a losing battle with these two and just gives up lol Also I wouldn't be me if I didn't comment on how sinfully delicious he looks. Holy fuck he is looking all kinds of fine. It's criminal how attractive this man is. Scruffy, in a leather jacket and a tight shirt? God damn the man is a feast for the eyes. He is sex on two legs walking. Sweet lord he is exuding illegal levels of attractiveness. It's almost unfair. Also seeing him so happy and free is insanely sexy in its own right I have to say. *phew* Ok I'm done. I might need some ice water though. lmao

Tim doesn’t waste a second on the drive to her test—he jumps straight into firing off questions. Or he's been firing them off for awhile at this point, with the way they drift off topic. Either way look at the blatant heart eyes and smile as Tim quizzes her. Just look at her. Oh my lord. It's bringing her back Tim doing this for her. Also for how much this last minute prep means to her. They didn't get to do this with the detectives exam.

Always blows my mind how much these two both convey with just their eyes. Be more in love with him Lucy. I dare you. You're just as transparent as your counterpart. My goodness. If he looked over long enough he would see her gushing at him. She is in full on swoon mode over this man right now. Also sorry the gif gets blurry for a second.

My phone did a thing and I was too lazy to re-make it not gonna lie lmao Tim's reply of 'Very good.' has Lucy buzzing. He asks if she feels ready? Lucy feeling as ready as a person can be for such a test. Tim's satisfied smile is the sweetest as he accepts this answer. Happy she is a in a good space before all of this.

We can see Lucy psyching herself up to say something to Tim. Knowing this last minute prep is more than just that. Trying to pull it out of him the real reason WHY he’s doing this. Needing to hear it. She starts off with thanking him for the ride. Tim being chill saying it's no problem. Lucy tries again with thanking him for helping her study. She is beating around the bush here and he is not picking up what she is throwing down right now haha Which is a rarity for them.

I truly think he feels he was returning the favor for her. Genuine in his reply. Another one of his small doses in action. To repay her kindness to him. For helping him out all those years ago when he went for it. To support her the way she did for him in s2. I think he genuinely wanted to make a meaningful difference this time. Carrying the weight of her failed Detectives exam on his shoulders a bit.

Knowing what an absolute disaster that was. Wanting this one to go so much better than the first time he helped her out. Lucy isn't getting the reaction she wants though. Clearly she is wanting to talk about what happens if she passes. In this moment, that future suddenly holds a lot of appeal to her. Especially after all he's done for her with this exam. This ride of their's being the cherry on the top of it all.

This is my favorite part of this scene. The banter alone is glorious holy shit. We are so lucky to have Eric and Melissa helming this couple. Displaying that lightning in a bottle only they have. No one does it better than our ship at verbal sparring. Lucy can't take it any longer and finally just says what's on her mind. She asks if part of the reason he's doing this has anything to do with the promise she made? One of 'physical intimacy' if she makes Sergeant. Such a Lucy way to approach this without saying anything about a relationship. lol The promise of that is part of it of it for sure. Not gonna lie. But we know that is not all of it.

It's a damn good by-product of her passing though lol I love him saying not if but when she makes Sergeant. My man still building her up even when she's giving him shit. Her smile says it all though. Just soaking in his praise. He continues on saying that this is what friends do for each other. It's his sassy comment following this that gets me the most. I was dying with his tone and absolute snark while delivering it. Facial expressions and all. Tim throwing back her words at her had me cackling. Not only that but adding his own spin. 'Without thinking of The joys of physical intimacy.' I'm dying. Now hers is a more refined version of ‘naked time’ moment imo. It's what it reminds me of. LOL I love it sfm.

Tim doesn't let her get away with it either in his reply. The flirting is on another level here. Holy hell. The verbal sparring is foreplay x1000 for these two. Lucy knows he is mocking her and calls him on it. Asking if he really thinks this the best path forward? She is smiling the entire time btw. Tim doesn't hesitate with his dazzling Lucy smile and reply. 'Yeah absolutely.' You know she loves this. Has missed this rapport with him. It's an intimacy she has longed to have back. This kind of banter is at their very core. It’s so cute and light and fun. I’m dizzy with delight we've returned to this place. If you were wondering if they're back. Truly back. This moment is proof of that. Seamless flirty banter at it's finest. Healing this old shipper heart of mine.

Tim follows that up by saying that, once she has passed the test, they won't have that pesky rank issue anymore. First off love his certainty she's going to crush this. Just like detective there is no doubt in his mind she's got this. Second Tim is once again throwing down they could be together after she passes. Tried and true this year in his steadfastness with that. Letting her know on every level how much he wants to be with her.

Hasn't been shy or reserved in the least regarding that. It’s up to Lucy to decide if she wants that when they get there though. He respects her boundaries about this. Something he's been so damn good at this entire season. He ends their convo telling her 'Not that either of them are reading into that though.' Yeah not at all.... Not what this entire convo was centered around... Tim once more as he has all year is leaving it up to her.

Laying it at her feet to do with it what she will. Giving Lucy her agency back a little bit more each time he does this. Building her up, showing his interest and desire to be with her. BUT ultimately leaving it up to her to decide their fate. It has to be Lucy to be one the decide she wants to do this again. It’s very clear Tim does. But he won’t make a move unless she does. Respecting her boundaries as he’s done since their chat during their stakeout in 6x10.

Was happy to See Tamara there when Lucy arrived home from her test. It's a little tense at first when she asks about the test. Lucy giving best answer she can. Letting Tamara lead this conversation. Doesn't take her long to apologize. To show her how much she doesn't want to lose her friendship with her over it all. Lucy having the best reply she can in this moment.

Telling her that's not possible and giving the sweetest hug. The relief on Tamara's face is everything. Her relationship with Lucy means everything to her. Glad she was able to tap back into that and come apologize. That Seth hadn't clouded her that much. Their sweet reconciliation is interrupted by news about Seth.

Oh my, I LOVE the Tim and miles scene here. Miles being the good soul he is feels immense guilt. For fighting with him and being resentful. For lashing out on him like he did. Now that he's hurt he is feeling like a complete ass. I adore how Tim is here for him in this moment. Knowing it's complex what he is feeling right now. That he feels stupid for not listening to Tim. For letting his emotions win out. Tim can see all this churning inside him.

So he steps up to help him through it. His advice is perfection here. First off let me say how proud I am of Tim for telling Miles his feelings are valid. That Seth has earned that anger and resentment out of him. Doesn't shame him for feeling this way at all. That it's ok he feels this. Regardless of what's going on right now in this moment with him. Letting him know yeah he's a bad guy. A bad guy who did a heroic and selfless thing. So yeah it's going to be murky on how to feel. That it's complicated to say the least.

To me personally this doesn't erase all he did. It was heroic and selfless that much is sure. Did I want this fate for him? Of course not. I wanted him to go out on his job performance not this. They all did. I just love Tim seeing the guilt Miles is carrying and tries to assuage him of it a little. Might not be able alleviate it all but Tim validating him is everything. This such a lovely scene between them. They've come so far and this scene is a wonderful reflection of that.

John Nolan had some excellent scenes with Seth in this episode. Seriously if they wrote him more like they have this season, my respect would come back. He handled this entire things like a pro. Didn't let Seth shake or deter him in anyway. This scene right here was so so good. Kudos to Patrick and his performance here. It's phenomenal. This was karma in all it's glory happening right here. The one time he’s actually selfless and heroic, it destroys the career he so fiercely protected with his web of lies.

It's poetic justice at it absolute finest I will say. John's words here are so full of sage and true wisdom. This kid is getting a huge lesson and it's up to him to decide what to do with it. Up him to him to chart a course back to being a good person. First time Seth has been honest since he arrived. Telling John he doesn't know if he can maintain that road of honesty. He's not sure he can take another road in this crossroads. Will he continue at the station or any station in a diminished capacity? I don't think so. That would require serious work on himself and being ok with the fact he can't have career he wants to anymore. To not have excuses.

Nolan already called him out about shortcuts. While this may have earned him some good will. I don't see him putting in that effort to stick around the station in this capacity. John doesn't get to finish this with him though. Let's Tamara have time with him. He tells her everything (finally) and of course she breaks it off. Saying Lucy warned her. She sure did sweets.....This is what being a manipulating habitual liar gets you. Someday you run out of people to support you. Now he has to go through this leg trauma alone. That's rough. Like I said not a fate I would've wished on him. But definitely one he earned...

Look at them meeting up at the end of the day. Discussing Tamara. My heart. Tamara googling how to join a nunnery. lol Oh my word. I do not blame her. Poor thing I can't even. It’s gonna take her some time to get past this. That is for sure. Learning to trust people again is knowing you could be hurt again. That is an unfortunate fact of life sadly. Tim’s reply made me cackle though. I love him. Lucy saying it’ll pass. It will. Like a kidney stone but it will…. I love him immediately moving onto how she’s doing? The soft way he asks her is everything. Be still my heart.

Look at where we are everyone. Just look. Last time they were at this table they were physically together. But emotionally? Miles and miles apart from where they are now. They’ve come so far to be in this moment right now. With Lucy leaning on him emotionally like this. Very couple like thing to do. Get a meal after work and discuss their day together. Adore her venting out her anxieties to him. Wondering how she really did on that test.

Been a slow climb back to the top. But a gloriously beautiful one. We haven't hit the summit yet but we're getting there. It's on the horizon Fandom. Don't these moments feel like they just hit more with having built up to it? They do for me. Like we earned them. That Tim has earned this time with her. Getting to see and share in this side of her again. It's so glorious. I mean we haven't even gotten to reconciliation yet and I'm on a ship high. I can't even imagine how rewarding that'll feel when we arrive there. It'll feel hard-won and all the more satisfying I know that.

Tim being s7 is perfection in his reply. Doing what he's done so well all year. Build her up. Not letting her have an ounce of doubt. Saying there is no way to know but let’s assume she aced it. Positive thinking can’t hurt tbh. Look at Tim being positive for her. Not letting any self doubt creep in. Man believes in her so much it’s unreal. Lucy kicking into flirting mode. Saying what should they do based off that assumption? Wondering where he is going with this. I mean she has to know a little. But is trying to confirm.

Tim leaning forward all sexy and seductive just says ‘Celebrate?’ This man could not want her more if he tried. He’s always a billboard but my goodness he is forward with his question. I’m here for it. Chomping at the bit to be with her again. Shows in his body language and telling reply. I will commend Lucy for her self control here. My good look at him.

If Tim Bradford leaned forward looking like that. All flirty and staring at me like he is at Lucy and said 'Celebrate?' With his cute puppy dog in love face. I would drag him to the nearest dark corner and have my way with him. LOL But I understand Lucy's hesitation below. I truly do. If this doesn't work out like they want and she gives in. All it'll cause is for the water between them to get murkier and they'll just be miserable for it. Because at the end of the day nothing would've changed for them at work. She just can't risk it till it's a sure thing.

I love her resetting his expectations here as well. Holding true to that emotional boundary she set in 7x12. Nothing physical past midnight on April Fool's. Also it’s is VERY important he knows she didn’t take this test for him. To put her foot down about it. All flirting aside this is first time she's felt any stability in her career in a long time. Or joy for the future because she now has a goal in mind. S6 wrecked her in so many ways. Her remaining damage about that is showing in this moment IMO. Because last time she did anything in her career for him it blew up on her. Epically. As we all painfully know. Very important to her that distinction is being made here.

This is for her. For her to have career clarity. Her PTSD shining through in this moment I will say. She is desperate to have a different outcome this time. This moment reminds me of her setting the expectations back in 5x10. Where Tim was ready for some naked time and Lucy had to guide him to where she’s at. Beautiful thing is Tim just like he did then is going to honor what she wants. He may be ready to go right now but Lucy isn’t. It's why he poses 'celebrating' as a question to her. Wants to test the waters but also wants to continuously meet her where she is at. He respects the boundary she just laid out. And for him to understand why she did this.

Tim understands completely. Saying Of course. That it was a smart career move. And it is. He’ll always champion her having a successful career. Always. It reflects in his reply back to her. Sitting back and physically respecting the boundary as well. Lucy continues on saying she hasn’t passed yet. That things haven’t changed between them before that. He’s still currently her boss. Also feel like there may be just one more chat ahead of us. I could be wrong. But that ‘things haven’t changed between us' felt loaded. There was some charged anger in that ‘I didn’t take this test for you.’ There is probably more here I can't discern just yet. Have to wait till the end of the season but feel solid my initial analysis of this.

After Lucy says her piece we are right back to flirty hopefulness. They’re drawn to it like a moth to a flame, especially as we get closer to this reconciliation. Tim rests back in his seat knowing there will be no celebrating here tonight. He shot his shot and was denied. He respects it immediately. But stay’s steady in his hope there will be in the future. Saying next week we will know. With this knowing smile that Lucy mirrors right back at him. Smiling back with her own heart eyes and in love smile. Saying 'Yes we will.’ Oooh lord we close fandom we are so close. Look at how much these two just love each other.

The smiles saying more than words ever could. Especially Lucy's. That is the smile of a woman who is ready for this next chapter with Tim. For this next chapter of her career. If it comes with the love of her life on top of it. That is just a delicious addition to it all. They’re legit having eye sex at the food truck park. My god. I'll be intrigued to see what happens when she passes. She's forgiven him. He knows as such. The test has been this barrier to true reconciliation for awhile. What will happen when that barrier is truly gone? How Lucy reacts when there is nothing left standing in their way anymore?

Will the second confession she almost made in 7x15 get its conclusion? Idk and that's the fun part. I know I am excited to see how this season wraps up. This season has been a wonderful wild card in the best way. Could not be more pleased with their development this year. The slow burn and delayed gratification has been beyond amazing to watch unfold. Thank you to every single reader who likes, comments ( these are so fun), and reblog these impressions. Had a blast this year. You all are the reason for that. See you all in 7x17 :)

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Love the boys getting ready. Talking sports. Miles coming in Texas Af LOL It was such a cute way to start the episode.

‘Where’s Darwinism when you need it?’ I love this man so much it’s insane. Never change my love never change. Was excited I got to fit this in.

Nolan got some damn good dialogue in this one. I have to say. Him asking where that man's fandom was that helped them? Solid John. Very Solid.

Those social media kids drove me insane. I must be getting old LOL

I love how Lucy handled that idiotic crowd for Angela. My blood was boiling. Handled it like a damn champ.

Can’t say next weeks excites me. Because I can’t stand Skip tracer Randy tbh. Hopefully it’ll be good regardless of him being there and we get some follow-up for Chenford and the Sergeant exam. But my guess is that’ll be more of a finale thing? I don't do spoilers so I don't actually want an answer haha We shall see either way.

#Caitlin's First Impressions #chenford #7x16 The Return #the rookie 7x16 #s7 #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #tim x lucy #lucy x tim #otp: doing my job

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