#this is so fucking funny i really went from 0 to hockey in no time

[solarsturniolo]

Part 2 of frat boy from hell

@matts-myloverboy this is for u 🤍

1. very egotistical for someone that is not conventionally attractive

2. lied to me about his body count??? for whatever reason??

3. he lowkey looks like the dream man (yall i wish i was joking, my friend and i did a side by side comparison and the resemblance is…)

4. he’s not funny

5. he’d cancel plans so many times, it drove me up the fucking wall

6. he begged to see my ass tat for about a month because i got it out of spite when i cut him off the first time (i always do something to make myself hotter after men disappoint me).

7. i hadn’t spoken to him in a month and he broke no contact with me WHILE I WAS AT A CONCERT. he proceeded to text me the entire last half of the concert.

8. the same night, he added my friend (that i went to the concert with) on snapchat and tried to slide into her dm’s (it failed because nobody finds him attractive but me 😭)

9. he doesn’t look the same in any picture, so i’m convinced he’s a skinwalker

10. i got a guy’s snap at the bar one night and he confronted me about it the next time we hung out. (“so you’re just giving out your snap to guys at the bar huh? i mean i wasn’t going around doing that 🙄”)

11. i told yall he follows me and watches me at the bar, but guys it’s like BAD lmao. If i go upstairs, he goes upstairs. If i go downstairs, he’s there five minutes later watching me. He sat at the bar watching me sing every bar to WAP with my friend on Halloween. Every single second he was watching me.

12. His halloween costume was Napoleon Dynamite (it was literally just a vote for pedro shirt) (he knows how much i despise people who put 0 effort into a halloween costume)

13. said he wanted to try lsd…

14. left me sitting by myself for two hours while he played beer pong

15. he does this weird thing with his arm when he plays pong, it’s like some weird crane thing and idk it’s cringe and weird

16. asked me for a nip slip pic while he was in an airport 😀

17. asked me for nudes while i was on a trip with my friend because “i’ve missed that body”

18. calls me mommy (not a red flag, i just wanted to include it)

19. it took him until almost 3:00 to say happy birthday to me on my birthday

20. he got a ticket for buying alcohol with a fake

21. his grammar is god awful and it makes me want to punch him

22. he sexualized billie eilish as if i wouldn’t defend her with my life

23. he eats like a pig

24. i have never seen this man drink water (unless it was MY water that I ASKED FOR after sex)

25. his nut tastes like straight battery acid

26. he’d beg me for back scratches and head scratches

27. he refuses to buy new socks??? his have holes in them and are falling apart at the seams????

28. one of his roommates drives me up the fucking wall, i hate him so much lmfao

29. he’s so rude to the pledges??? yeah i get they’re still in the hazing faze and such but he literally forced one of them to make his bed and clean his room WHILE I WAS RIGHT THERE and told him to compliment me and blah blah blah i was like DAWG THIS IS A HUMAN BEING BE NICE TO HIM????

30. he’d stalk my stories for the longest time

31. he wanted to take my super cool Friday the 13th hockey jersey??? (“can i borrow it? and by borrow it i mean keep it?”)

32. i got a really bad leg cramp in his bed one night and told him to get up so i could stand up and stretch it out. He would not move and told me he could give me a massage but that i’d need to take my pants and underwear off????

33. he thought i wouldn’t find out that he got with a girl with an std. he tried to kiss me and i pushed him away. “woah…why’d i lowkey get rejected?”

34. that same night he asked if i had been talking to any other guys. I said no. I asked if he had been talking to any other girls. He lied and said no. I showed him the screenshotted receipts i had that said otherwise.

35. I made him get tested. When i asked if he got the results back he said “No, but visual results are in the clear.”

36. he tried to hit my cart without me offering and without asking??? hello, that’s not yours?????

37. Maybe this is tmi? but he’d finger me so hard that i would bleed every time…like blood would be EVERYWHERE. It didn’t even feel good either

38. the d was alright. it was better when i got to be on top

39. one time in missionary he rolled his eyes and it looked like that tiktok trend guys used to do where they’d tap the side of their forehead and roll their eyes. I got the ick and had to change positions into doggy so i wouldn’t have to look at him again

40. he said i love you while he was balls deep in me and i was just like 😀 oh

41. his tinder profile was…scary…

42. he bragged that he could make me cum 5 times with just his mouth. (he didn’t make me cum once in the many times we hooked up)

43. Oh my god this shit pissed me tf off. He and his frat brothers brought their dog to a frat party. The dog was two months old, drenched from the rain, TERRIFIED because he was being cornered by 40 drunk girls, and the fucking idiots managed to LOSE HIM. I straight up told him we weren’t fucking until they found out where the dog was and got him safely home.

44. he saw guys flirting with me at the bar and went up to interrupt these guys and start talking to them???? for no reason??? i was like wtf is going on???

45. the first movie he chose to pick for us to watch together was about a girl being kidnapped, raped, and sold into sex slavery??????

46. he has a horrible taste in movies and thinks he’s hot shit because he likes the wolf of wall street. (spoiler alert, EVERYONE LIKES THE WOLF OF WALL STREET)

47. the first date i went on with him was a double date. I was so disinterested that i almost got up and left because he was ignoring me to have a 30 minute conversation with the frat president IN THE SAME ROOM AS ME. RIGHT ACROSS FROM ME.

48. he’d invite me over and tell me to just come in whenever i’d get there. I’m stubborn and old fashioned, so i’d wait in my car until he’d come wandering out looking for me lol

49. his frat got rejected by the school. they can’t throw any parties or events on campus lmfao

50. he says the n word

Anywayssssss 😀

[stubborngoalie]

I posted 6,046 times in 2022

That's 2,075 more posts than 2021!

397 posts created (7%)

5,649 posts reblogged (93%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@coffeeandgunpowder

@goldencereza

@stellaryelpreviews

@glitterandsummerdaze

@tapejob

I tagged 2,549 of my posts in 2022

#hockey - 1,700 posts

#avs - 284 posts

#dallas stars - 219 posts

#erik johnson - 117 posts

#tyson jost - 104 posts

#avs lb - 88 posts

#cale makar - 85 posts

#stars lb - 83 posts

#claude giroux - 80 posts

#seattle kraken - 63 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#also i’m just annoyed it’s so long bc so much is just filler that doesn’t matter at all and they keep having the same arguments and worries

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

hello

37 notes - Posted February 24, 2022

#4

@ people who have hockey jerseys do y’all only wear them to games or do y’all wear them in public or wherever you want

39 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#3

🚂🚂🚂🚂🚂

50 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

#2

i wish i could commit to anything like lars commits to the deep v

87 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

the funniest thing about getting into hockey for me personally was learning wayne gretzky is still alive

149 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sincerelyreidburke]

Could you please tell me about the first time Nando gets fined (because of Quinn). What does Quinn think about the whole fining thing?

Yes, absolutely, anon— and thank you for asking!!

I’m going to cross-post this to ao3 along with a couple other drabbles that have come as results to asks, but I won’t do it yet because those other ones aren’t done. In the meantime: have this!!

Set about 24 hours after this most recent Quindo fic on ao3.

(Ask me anything about the crickets!)

//

Technically speaking, tonight is not Quinn’s first Samwell Hockey party.

Because after all, the whole reason he met Sebastián was his actual first party, the Halloween one, which was only a few weeks before now but feels like it was forever ago. He came here on his own accord, based on the invitation Denice extended, completely unknowing of what to expect. And he survived. A real frat party. In fact, he came out practically unscathed.

And even in the time since Halloween, he’s been in the Hockey Haus one other time, on the night of Winter Screw. That time, too, was doable; he emerged with a cute boy’s number, even. So tonight, two weeks to the date after Winter Screw, being in the Hockey Haus is not a new experience. Nor is the party atmosphere.

But it feels different. Tonight, it’s better, more comfortable, less of a social experiment and more just a social event. Because tonight, he’s here as a hockey boy’s boyfriend.

He’s a little giddy, maybe. It’s been about twenty-four hours since they made it official, after Quinn went to his game last night, and tonight he walks into the hockey party feeling like a new man. He’s wearing the freshly stolen Samwell Hockey hoodie of Sebastián’s that he managed to end last night by acquiring, with his one pair of jeans, if you can believe it.

He’s here on invitation, and although he was with Sebastián for several hours after the game last night, it feels like it’s been forever since he saw him. They had an away game today— or, as Sebastián calls it when they play off-campus, a roadie, not to be confused with Rhodey, the team’s nickname for Sebastián’s best friend, Ben (goodness, it must get confusing)— so, anyway, Quinn hasn’t actually seen his brand-new boyfriend all day. The game was only at Brown, so they didn’t have to stay in a hotel, and it landed them back on campus after a 3-0 win, according to Sebastián’s excited text to him earlier.

Sebastián♥️: we won!!!!! 3 to nothing. it was swawesome!!!!!!

Me: Congratulations!!🥰🥳

Sebastián♥️: thank you!! ❤️❤️ i miss you!

Sebastián♥️: come to the haus tonight? we’re throwing a kegster!

Quinn really has no idea why they’re called kegsters, but he shows up at the Haus after he eats dinner anyways.

It’s a hopping place, but maybe that’s just how the Haus always is after dark. Meeting up with Sebastián takes him all of two minutes, because he’s tall and loud and cute as can be, and when he sees him through the crowd, his face lights up, and he cries, “Quinn!” and then kisses him right in front of everybody and nothing in the world matters at all.

It’s been about an hour since he got here, or at least Quinn is pretty sure it’s only been an hour. Sebastián is drinking, but only a little, and the music is loud (Quinn has his volume turned way down), and the hockey guys are all being really nice to him, as he sticks to Sebastián’s side like glue. They dance a little, but Quinn is so awful at dancing when it isn’t choreographed that he laughs his way off the unofficial dance floor in the living room after half of a song.

Mostly, they just talk to other people. From a meeting over lunch at Commons last week, Quinn already knows Sebastián’s two freshman friends on the team, Ben and Remy, and of course he knows Tony, through Denice, as well. But tonight, he meets others— like the captain, the redhead, whose name is not actually Dex but Will, and his boyfriend, Derek; they remember him from the Halloween party. (“I found out they were dating in October,” Sebastián murmurs into his ear, one hand on his back, as they walk away after talking with them for awhile. “They’re really cute together. I basically want to be just like them when I grow up.”

Quinn laughs and goes to kiss his cheek as they walk through the ruckus. “When you grow up?”

Sebastián shrugs, and his smile in the party lights makes Quinn’s stomach turn inside out. “When I’m a senior.”)

Now, Quinn stands by a table, spectating over a rather intense game of cup pong. It’s Sebastián and Ben versus Remy and another player on the team, River, who has spectacular hair. He and Remy are a million times better at sinking their shots than Ben and Sebastián are, and the whole sight is mildly entertaining.

“Fuck!” Ben cries, when one of his attempts bounces off the rim of a cup and onto the floor. “I’m fucking cursed, I swear to God.”

“You have a serious problem,” Remy replies, retrieving the ball from the ground and dusting it off on his shirt. He passes it to River, because it’s his turn, and Quinn watches as his toss arcs perfectly over the table and lands with a plop in the closest cup on their side.

“Shit,” Sebastián laughs, because it’s his turn to drink, but the cup is only filled about a quarter of the way, so he downs it with minimal effort. Quinn laughs at the scene.

“You two are awful at this,” he remarks, looking up at him and Ben, and Ben feigns offense, putting a hand to his heart, while Sebastián laughs at the ceiling.

“You’ve only been dating him for a day and you’re already chirping his pong skills?” Ben shakes his head and lets off a low whistle. “Tough crowd, boys.”

“Here.” Sebastián presses the ball into his hand, and Quinn looks up at him to widen his eyes as he says, “You take a shot.”

“Yeah, show us what you got!” Ben is grinning from ear to ear. “Can’t chirp if you can’t back it up.”

Chirping, Quinn recalls, is hockey speak for teasing. He guesses he did ask for this. As he lifts the lightweight pong ball to the light and studies the cups across the table, he feels dozens of partygoing eyes all on him. The newcomer. The freshman. The boyfriend.

You know what? Screw it. He’s going to try.

“Okay,” he replies, stepping forward to get a better angle, and Ben hollers gleefully into the crowd. He looks over his shoulder to Sebastián for a second, who is smiling like crazy.

“Whenever you’re ready, baby,” he says.

The pure adrenaline of being called baby alone is enough. Quinn lines up his aim, squints, and sends the ball flying toward Remy and River’s triangle of cups.

It seems to move in slow-motion, but when it does land, with a plunk, it’s in their centermost cup.

The general vicinity around Quinn erupts. “OHHH!” Ben cries, jumping up and down, and Remy starts laughing hysterically at his friends. Quinn receives various high-fives and claps on the shoulder from people he doesn’t even know.

“Yo, he owned you,” River says, pointing to Sebastián and Ben, and then drinks the contents of the cup Quinn sunk it in. River nods to him, adding, “Good shot, frosh.”

Quinn falls backwards, into Sebastián’s waiting arms, and when he looks up at him again, Sebastián is grinning at him with something vaguely impressed in his eyes. He leans down to whisper, “That was kind of hot.”

There’s a flutter somewhere in Quinn’s stomach, and he grins back at him. “I’m afraid that might be the extent of my lucky frat party talents,” he replies. “Not to disappoint you or anything.”

“Oh, trust me, baby,” Sebastián mumbles. “There is nothing disappointing about you.”

The kiss they exchange after that doesn’t last quite as long as Quinn wants it to, but that’s only because they get a moment to themselves before Ben is shouting, “Hey, Nanny! Not to interrupt your gay hours, but it’s your turn.”

Sebastián pulls off of him and laughs, keeping him close to his chest. Quinn is dazed. He tastes like beer and sweat, and he wants… more of this, please.

He finishes the game of pong with Ben, and once it’s done, they make their way over to what could be considered the edge of the dance floor. There’s some random electronic song playing, and it’s musically atrocious but good for moving around to. Quinn hasn’t had a drop of alcohol tonight, nor does he plan on it, but parading around at Sebastián’s side like this is intoxicating all on its own. He’s here, with him, and it’s almost like Sebastián is showing him off, and it is beyond lovely.

“I’m an awful dancer,” Quinn confesses, as Sebastián is trying to get him to move with him to the music.

Inches away with his hands on his waist, Sebastián knits his brows like he doesn’t believe him. “You do theatre!”

“I’m awful at this kind of dancing,” he amends, hooking his hand around his hip. No one has ever touched him quite this much before. He doesn’t want it to stop.

“We don’t have to dance,” Sebastián replies. He looks past him, in the direction of the kitchen. “We could take a breather? Go find Ford and Tony?”

“Mmm…” So close to him in this crowd, Quinn isn’t so keen on the thought of leaving it. He steps a little closer to him and shrugs. “We could do that.” He pauses, tips his face up towards his, and meets his eyes in the low light. “Or we could stay here.”

He kisses him gently, at least at first, but Sebastián seems just as on board with the general idea as he is, because he pulls him very close all of a sudden, holds him tight with his big hands around his back. He still tastes like the party, and Quinn presses up against him, threading one hand through the slightly sweaty curls on his head. Sebastián’s lips are soft, but his kiss is anything but. It’s close, and warm, and so good, and Quinn has a feeling he’s about to leave the ground, but then—

“Nando.” The voice booms through the sound system over the music. Quinn jerks, and Sebastián pulls away to look up toward the noise— his teammate, the Swedish one who does the music, is holding his funny little DJ mic and looking right, directly at the two of them. “I’ve seen enough tonight,” the DJ continues. “Five dollars in the Sin Bin for that shit.”

Dispersed throughout the party, the hockey players heckle at this announcement. “Foooiiiiineeeee,” someone yells, and Quinn recognizes Ben’s cackle over the noise. The DJ gives them both a nod, waving his mic kind of menacingly, and Sebastián looks somewhere between amused and put on the spot.

“It’s a fucking kegster!” he calls, in the DJ’s direction, and puts Quinn down firmly on his feet.

Quinn has no idea what just happened. He winds his arms around his neck, watches the DJ laugh at Sebastián, and then cocks an eyebrow up at him. “Sin Bin?”

“God—” Sebastián shakes his head, squeezing him around the waist. “Okay, so there are fines on the hockey team? For PDA? I didn’t think I was going to get busted, but Louis just called me out.”

“Oh my goodness.” Quinn bites back a laugh. “So every time we kiss in public, you have to pay?”

“I mean.” Sebastián pauses. “I just got five dollars for the whole night, so, like. Not technically.” He looks around, then reaches for Quinn’s hand and pulls him a little ways out of the crowd. When they stop, they’re against the wall near the kitchen, close to the spot in the Haus where they met for the first time. Sebastián winds an arm around his waist, then adds, “But they’ll probably fine me again, given the opportunity.”

“So…” Quinn pauses, rests a hand on his chest. “Where does the money go?”

“Oh, anywhere,” he replies. “Dex mostly uses it to upgrade stuff around the Haus or buy things we need.”

“That’s…” He has never heard of a system like this in his life, but it sounds mildly entertaining. Except when it interferes with kissing his brand-new boyfriend at a party. “I don’t understand sports culture.”

“Sometimes, I don’t, either.” Sebastián kisses his forehead, in a manner that’s significantly softer than he was on the dance floor. “Are you doing okay?”

“Me?” Quinn raises his eyebrows. “Are you kidding? I’m great.”

“Oh.” Sebastián smiles. “Cool. Good. Okay. ‘Cause so am I.”

Tilting into his arm, Quinn looks around the room for a second. The DJ is still dancing around to his own beats, and Ben is nearby, talking to a girl Quinn recognizes vaguely as his Winter Screw date. They’re secluded, but the party is still hopping, and looks like it will be for the foreseeable future.

“Hey,” he says, lowering his voice a little, and rises on his tiptoes. “I have to tell you something.” Sebastián angles his ear towards him, and he cups his hand around it, all secretive, feeling silly and so, so head over heels all at the same time.

“There are no fines for kissing in my room,” he whispers, then pulls back to wink— and the knowing, flustered smile Sebastián returns is maybe the best sight he’s ever seen.

He’ll prove that. Later. But first, he’s going to enjoy the party.

[hockeytrashgoblin]

Just one Date? ~ Part 5

A/N: Hi sorry for the wait between chapters. I have to pack up my house and work but work is panicking and cutting shifts because of the carona virus in toronto so I have more time. Which means more parts. Enjoy!

I always really got into sports. Hockey was one of my first loves and I always really got into Vegas games. Funny thing is how much more intense that became when you knew the guys playing and were dating one of them. It felt like a weird change to sit with the wives and girlfriends. I didn’t know why exactly because I was a girlfriend but I just constantly felt like I didn’t belong with them, that they didn’t think I belonged with them. A few of them made me feel comfortable and welcome of course like Emily and Veronique but I’ve known them for a long time. The rest of them not so much. And it was made pretty known. It’s hard to fit in when everyone is gossiping and you’re jumping out of your seat and screaming at the goal that was just scored. 

I just couldn’t help it. I was just always so excited for the boys when they did good things. Sports was one thing I didn’t feel insecure about until now, but really even now it was more just discomfort at hanging out with everyone after the game while they’re whispering about me now. I was still excited and I wasn’t going to stop cheering or yelling so I really hoped they’d just get used to it and leave it be.

They did not. The end of the game came and the final score was 5-0 for Vegas. Alex got a goal as well as William and Fleury got a shutout. So I was really loud. Oops. Not. I was walking with Emily back to where we could wait for the boys to come out and as we were walking down the halls I could hear the other girls talking about me. Just talking a lot of trash. I stopped walking and turned around to face them, raising my eyebrow.

“Want to say that shit to my face?”

“Um..wh-no..uh..we weren’t-um.”

“Fucking grow up.” I said turning around and starting to walk again.

“Are you okay (y/n)?” 

“I’m fine Em.”

“I can tell you aren’t.”

“I’m not giving them the satisfaction. If they want to sit and talk shit behind me literally all night they can grow a pair and say it to me.”

“So don’t give them the satisfaction by getting angry and closing in on yourself.”

“I’m not.” I mumbled as she pushed my shoulders back.

“Literally you’re closing in on yourself. Alex is going to notice for sure.”

“Fuck I don’t want him to.”

“Babe he notices literally everything when it comes to you. Very observant.”

“Oh come on he doesn’t.”

“He does. He asks Will and I about it sometimes.”

“That’s insane.”

“He’s crazy about you.”

“He doesn’t think I’m too much?” 

“Uh I’d hardly say so.”

“Well that’s good.” I said looking up as some of the boys started coming out of the locker room. William was among them and he came over to us. “Willy!! Good job tonight my guy!”

“Congrats baby.” Emily said, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“Thanks guys. (y/n) Alex is almost done. Are you coming out with us tonight?”

“Yeah I’m pretty sure.”

“So who do we have the pleasure of seeing trashed tonight? Tuchy or (y/n)?” Shea asked walking up to us with Alex.

“Hey it’s been a long time since I’ve been trashed.” I said in defence.

“It’s (y/n) getting trashed tonight. I drove in.” he came and put his arm around my shoulder. “Can’t trust my car in the hands of someone who can’t even see over the dash.”

“Asshole.” I said, pushing his arm off making him laugh. “I can see over the dash.”

“Barely.” he taunted, holding my hips and giving me a kiss. “Also are we not acknowledging what I did during the game tonight?”

“Oh? Did you do something?” I teased.

“You’re such a brat.” he rolled his eyes but took my hand in his. “So are we ready to move this party elsewhere?”

“Yeah the usual place?” Shea asked the group.

“Yeah sounds good. We’ll meet you guys there.” William said, taking Emily with him.

“Bye Shea.” I said as Alex pulled me to the direction of his car.

We were quietly walking towards the car park that was in the building when he pulled me closer to him, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders again and kissed my head. I slipped my hand around his waist and leaned on him. Emily seemed to be right. This felt very much like he noticed something was off and he didn’t want to push. I appreciated him not pushing but I knew he would later. Once we got to the car I pushed him against it. He let out a surprised noise but was still smirking.

“Good job tonight baby. Very proud of you.” I gave him a quick kiss.

“So you did notice me then?” he didn’t give me a chance to answer right away, kissing me back.

“Always. That was such a good goal.”

“I was hoping to impress you.” we kept kissing between speaking and it was pretty much just a makeout session at this point. Unfortunately it had to be broken though. 

“Come on Alex, we gotta go meet everyone else.”

“Fine. Are you coming back to my place tonight?” he asked as we got into his car.

“Yeah sure if you want me to.” I said shrugging, giving him a big smile.

“Hey I’ve kind of been meaning to talk to you about that.”

“You don’t want me around anymore?” I guessed letting the insecurity from earlier slip in.

“What? No? The opposite. Baby why would you think that?”

“Sorry it was just a bad joke. I’m sorry. What were you going to say?”

“No, no. we’re going to talk about that later.”

“Alex.” I whined exasperatedly looking over to him. He kept his eyes on the road but his face was frowning, worried. I reached over and tried to smooth out the wrinkles on his forehead. “Stop being frowny, love.”

“I’m sorry. Did I make you feel like that? Like I was getting tired of you or whatever?”

“No Alex of course not. It was just a joke.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes baby, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. I just don’t ever want you to feel like I don’t want you around. I want you around so much.” he said as he pulled into a parking spot and stopped at the bar the guys liked to frequent.

“I want you around too. I want to be around.”

“Do you want to go inside?”

“Uh yeah? How am I supposed to get trashed out here in the parking lot?” I asked, trying to ease the mood a bit. It worked when he let out a snort.

“Fine let’s go you little gremlin.”

“Wow rude.” I said jumping out of the truck and going around to the back to meet him. He was digging around in the trunk when I got there though. I hugged him from behind. “What doing baby?”

“I’m looking for my jacket. The one I made with you.” he said, smiling at the memory and rubbing my arm that was around him. “I’d rather wear that than my suit jacket.”

“We’re gonna match though.”

“Another plus.” I made a gagging noise making him laugh. I let go of him while he put on his jean jacket. “Let’s go gorgeous.”

We walked into the bar and I got carded of course making Alex laugh. I reminded him that it just meant I looked young and he looked like an old man which made him bite my neck. I smacked him but laughed as we got to the booth where everyone I cared to hangout with drunk was. Alex let me go first so I was in the corner of the circular seat and he sat right beside me. His hand immediately went to my thigh and his other arm around me. The drinks started coming thanks to Shea. Eventually he stopped though when Emily reminded him I was going back to his place. I didn’t end up getting trashed but I was definitely drunk. A few people had left already and Shea was up getting a drink leaving us alone.

“How are you feeling baby?”

“I’m very okay.”

“You sure about that? You seem a little drunk.” he said, smiling at me.

“No you’re drunk.” I slurred, making him laugh.

“You’re definitely drunk, beautiful.”

“Maybe a little.” I said leaning into him and smiling. I tried to reach up for a kiss but it was awkward and I couldn’t reach. “Kiss me you ween!”

“Kiss this ween.” he said rolling his eyes.

“Okay.” 

“No, no, no, baby I was kidding. Come here.”

“No. I don’t want a kiss now.” I said crossing my arms, getting an attitude.

“Stop being a brat.” he turned my face and kissed me which I immediately melted into. “Keep up the attitude and I’ll have to fuck it out of you.”

“Oh.” I said simply making him laugh and kiss me again.

“Are you ready to get out of here? I want to take you home.”

“So you can fuck the attitude out of me?”

“Not necessarily. I just wanna be with you at home.”

“Okay. We can go now if you want to?”

“Sure. Let’s go baby.” he got out of the booth and pulled me out by my hand, catching me when I stumbled out.

“Maybe I’m feeling it.”

“Gee ya think?” he asked laughing.

“Yes I do.” I said, wrapping my arms around him leaning back to look at him. “You’re so cute.”

“Shut up.” he said grinning with a blush on his cheeks. He brought me out to the car and helped me in. I pulled him in for a kiss after he was done buckling my seatbelt.

“Hey can I tell you something?” 

“Of course baby.”

“I love you.”

“(Y/n) come on,”

“No Alex! I do. For real, I love you.”

“Okay baby.” he said, closing the door. 

I sat there in shock and just kind of slumped down in the seat. I covered myself in my jacket and curled up in a little ball against the window as if that was going to help the awful feeling crawling through my body. He opened his door and climbed in. He looked at me and sighed, rubbing my back for a minute. Before starting the car. The drive was silent except for the radio. You da one by Rihanna was on and it made me cry a little. It was exactly how I was feeling towards Alex but clearly he didn’t feel the same which hurt like a bitch. I was really worried that I had fucked everything up. It had been going so smooth but I just had to fuck it up by saying that to him. It was the truth but I was wishing now that I hadn’t said it. I just couldn’t help it though. Looking at how beautiful he was and how he wanted me around and wanted to take care of me just really had me feeling it.

It took a while to get home as Alex stopped on the way to pick up some snacks for me from the store but we eventually got home and some of the alcohol had worn off. I was mortified about what I said and his response. He thought I was still drunk with how rosy my cheeks were but it was really just embarrassment at this point. When we got home I opened my door and got out by myself walking up to the door waiting for Alex to come open it.

Once he did I walked in and straight upstairs. I kicked off my shoes in his room and took off my pants. Once I did I just crawled into his bed and laid there. I heard him bustling around downstairs and just waited. He was up pretty soon after that, holding water in one hand and a small bag of doritos in the other. He took off his suit and I just ate my doritos in silence in the dark. I put them back on the table beside his bed and laid back down.

“Can I have some of your doritos?”

“Yeah.” I answered softly into his blankets.

“Hey, you okay?” he asked sitting beside me rubbing my side.

“Not really but it’s okay.”

“That’s not okay at all baby, what’s wrong? Something has been off all night.”

“I don’t think I should go to anymore of your games.” 

“What? Why?”

“I embarrass you. It’s embarrassing to be attached to me. I get too excited and it’s too much. People are embarrassed for you.”

“You aren’t. I don’t think that at all. I love that you get so excited and are so passionate about what I’m passionate about.” he said sincerely. “Where is this coming from?”

“It doesn’t matter. I’m just a fucking problem.”

“You aren’t. How come you’re feeling insecure like this today? What did I do wrong?”

“Uh well the only thing you did that made me feel bad was reply ‘okay baby’ to me saying I loved you. The rest was just other guy’s girlfriends talking shit all night at the game and after.”

“(y/n) you’re drunk.”

“Not drunk enough.” I said dropping onto my back. He laughed a little and it made me smile slightly.

“I want to talk about that when we’re both sober completely. I don’t want to say the words if there’s a chance you won’t remember it. I feel the same way though. You have to know that. And those girls are stupid. Just puck bunnies that are too insecure themselves. I’ve never been embarrassed by you and I never will be.” he kissed my forehead softly before getting under the blankets with me, cuddling me close to him and resting his head on mine. “I never want you to feel like you’re too much.”

“I feel like that a lot when I’m around other people. When I’m with you I feel totally fine but when I’m with other people who know you or who are looking in I feel like such an embarrassing burden.”

“You are never ever a burden. Get that out of your pretty little head right now.”

“Uh wow, is that an order?”

“Will me ordering you around work?”

“You’d be surprised what a stern demanding voice can get you.”

“Oh really? So I just need to be serious and you’ll listen?”

“I mean kinda. I guess.” I said blushing.

“Hey don’t get embarrassed, tell me.”

“I just like being told what to do in some cases. I’m a pretty submissive person in every way.”

“I see.”

“Sorry if that’s too much or somethi-Ow!” I yelped as a hand came down on my ass.

“I told you, you’re never too much.” he said sternly.

“Fuck..yeah you did.”

“Lay on your stomach baby.”

“Why?”

“Just do what I tell you to.” he said, turning me over himself. “I want to show you how I feel, how perfect you are. How I can’t get enough of you at all. Can I?”

“Please, please, please Alex. Do something.” I whined as he pushed me down into the mattress, pulling down my underwear and his pants.

“I’ve got you baby.”

This was rougher than anything we had experienced together but it was so good. It was exactly what I needed at that time. All hard thrusts, teeth biting my neck and shoulders, blunt nails dragging across the skin of my ass after the sharp slap he left there. We went a couple rounds too which was also not what usually happened with us.

The next morning I woke up feeling really sore. I got up from under Alex without waking him up. He slept like a log so I didn’t worry too much about waking him up. I went into his bathroom, still naked from last night besides his shirt. When I sat down to use the toilet I gasped at the sting I felt. When I was done I went to the full length mirror to inspect the damage done from last night besides the obvious ache I felt. I was pretty shocked at all the marks scattering my skin with reds and purples.

“Was I too much?” Alex asked quietly from the doorway. 

“Baby, you scared me.” I said going over to him. “You’re okay.”

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m perfect.”

“So not too much?”

“Alex I would have told you if you were being too much. I like everything you did to me last night. Like a lot.”

“Good.” he said, pulling me to him and giving me a kiss.

“How come I was the one worried about being too much and it got switched over to you? Did you steal my insecurity through your dick or something?”

“That..I don’t even know how to answer that.”

“Wow I’ve left Alex Tuch speechless. Call the press, this is news.”

“Can we talk though? Like for real?” he asked pulling me back into his room.

“Of course we can. What’s on your mind, love?”

“You. All the time.”

“Okaaay..?” I urged him to continue.

“I’ve been thinking a lot about our relationship recently.”

“Alex I’m gonna need you to keep going with that because this really sounds like the beginning of a breakup and I um..I..” I just stuttered the end part as tears welled up in my eyes.

“Baby no. Absolutely not. This is not a breakup. Not a break, not anything like that.” he said quickly in a panic. “It’s the opposite actually.”

“Alex what does that mean?”

“God I don’t know why this is so hard. There’s two things and it’s just both so hard to say either of them.”

“Babe, calm down. It’s just me. You can say what you need to say. Anything. I meant what I said last night Alex. I love you and You can tell me what you need to.”

“You really meant it?”

“I did. I do. I love you Alex.”

“I love you too. So much.” he said kissing me deeply. I broke the kiss because I was smiling too hard and just hid my blushing, smiling face in his neck leaving kisses there. “That was not nearly as scary to say as I thought 5 seconds ago.”

“Well that’s good. What was the other thing you wanted to say? Maybe it’s equally not scary.” I said running my fingers through his hair. “Rip it off like a bandaid.”

“I was just thinking a lot about how I want to be around you constantly.”

“Love, we’re together all the time.”

“But not enough.” he whined hiding his face in my neck.

“Baby what do you mean?”

“God Emily told me the other day I just needed to sack up and ask you but I don’t want to push too far.”

“Alex you won’t just tell me-”

“Move in with me.” he interrupted, bringing his head up to meet my eyes.

“What?!”

“Move in with me.”

“Alex are you sure that’s what you want?”

“Absolutely. I love you and I want you around all the time. I want to wake up to you, and cook with you or for you, see you as soon as I get back from road trips, I just want everything with you. I want you to live with me.

“And you’ve really thought about this?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for  like 2 weeks straight and the more I think about it, the more it just feels like the right thing to do.” I was quiet just thinking and smiling. “Baby please say something, I’ve been really anxious about this and the silence is not helping.”

“Of course I’ll move in with you Alex. I’m sorry. I was just thinking about how nice it would be to have you all the time just around with me. Would I move in here with both you guys or would we get our own place?”

“I’d like to get our own place if that’s okay with you.”

“Yeah that’s okay. I don’t know how much I’m going to be able to contribute to rent and stuff though.”

“Baby don’t worry about that. I’m not concerned. I was thinking about even just buying a house maybe. I don’t know we can talk about it and figure out what we want in a place and then look together maybe if you want to?”

“Well I’m going to live there too I’d like to be a little involved with picking it if that’s okay? I know I’m not paying for it so it’s not really up to me but-”

“(y/n) shut up honestly. I don’t care about the money. I have more than enough. Way more than enough.”

“But-”

“Shush.” he said, grabbing both sides of my face to look at him. “I am so in love with you and I want to start a life with you. I don’t care about money, I just want a life with you in it every second of every day.”

“I think we could make that work.” I said smiling wide.

“Good. It’s all I want.” he gave me a kiss and pushed me over on his bed, both of us giggling and happy wrapped up in each others arms.

[diaryformytravels]

#21 Toronto (Day 6)

It’s your boi again!

Had another fantastic sleep in this morning, with mikko texting saying he’s got fresh, warm bagels!! I went upstairs to check what the plan was and if we had to do anything that day (hoping he would say no so Morgs and I could finish our last three intoxicating episodes of ‘you’)

Mikko did mention yesterday that he wanted me to help take the Christmas tree down which I was absolutely dreading, but amazingly, he had already done it!!!!!! And to add to the fabulousness, he said we had nothing to do today. So off I went and told Morgs the good news and the projector was turned on, lights went off and bums on the couch! We watched one episode and then I went and got some bagels for myself, as Morgs wasn’t as hungry due to her morning chocolate routine (which included Oreos today!) I had two plain bagels, with melted cheese and salmon. Much like the little demon. We then watched another episode and we went and made Morgs some nachos! We then watched the next episode! A thrilling end, with a great twist and phenomenal acting.

Now for a two hour rest period, which included a mini nap, a shower for jasper, and then some Kath and Kim on the big screen! (The best way to watch it).

Max got home and then we had dinner at around 5:15. We had planned to go out for dinner in the city before the hockey game, but mikko thought better of it because the city gets crazily busy during a hockey game and it was probably unlikely that we’d find a restaurant. So he made us some burgers which weren’t half bad.

Then we got in the car for the 40 minute drive to the city and then walked to the stadium in negative temperatures with howling winds. Very. Unpleasant.

We got to the noise bleed section and we had 5 seats, broken up in 2 and 3 (as michelle was originally going to make the game catching the earlier flight from London, which we knew would never happen) so mikko sat by himself in the two seats. And we sat with max in the 3 because he was really excited to sit with us and watch the game with us and tell us everything he knew about ice hockey. Kind of cute, but also fuck my life.

Fortunately he went and sat with mikko after the first 3rd as Mikko had better seats. We didn’t care though, we were just happy to be there! The first two 3rds of the game were very boring and we were losing 1-0. However the game got a lot more exciting when we scored and the game went into over time and then went into over-over time! (I don’t know what that’s called) however we were surrounded by the opposing team and they were very loud and annoying and drunk and loud and rude and loud, so it was disappointing when we lost because they got even louder and were so cocky. It was funny however when the maple leafs scored , they shut right up for around 10 minutes!

Off we went back to the car and had the worst drive home. It was so hot and stuffy in the car and there was no air in the back because neither Mikko nor Max (whom were in the frontith of the car) knew how anything worked. So I was getting a bit car sick. And if I was getting car sick, imagine how my precious angel felt! After a swift vomit (in the bathroom, thank goodness) from morgs back at home, we were greeted by michelle who graced us in her pyjamas from upstairs. She had arrived maybe 30 minutes before we did. We told her about our week without her, I bullied max a bit which is always fantastic and hilarious for everyone involved, except max 😉 and now off to bed!

Morgs is already asleep next to me as I write these, sorry we didn’t do yesterday’s blog on time!! Will get a grip and be more punctual (I will channel my inner Boyd)

That’s it from us at the moment!

Ps. Hope you had a fantastic birthday AM, even though you SNAKES went to Miss Chows without us AGAIN.

Until tomorrow xox

J

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 51 - CHI - Cruel Comedy

What the fuck! I hope you saw the explicit tag before you clicked on this one because this is not going to be safe for all readers. My Sabres fandom starts somewhere around 2011 so I am intimately acquainted with shitty hockey. There is a time and place for shitty hockey. When you’re tanking for example: that is the time for shitty hockey. If you’re in subtle protest of Dan Blysma: that’s the time for shitty hockey. If you’re on a mad winning streak and tearing up the league I guess you’re kind of entitled to lay an egg of shitty hockey in one game. None of those scenarios I just described are currently occurring with this team unless there is a locker room plot I missed against Phil Housley. Hell, there is an open rebellion amongst fans against Phil and at this point is that not justified? The point is this shit is completely uncalled for! Did Drake Caggiula insult everyone’s wives and girlfriends? The only answers the Sabres had at the end of the 1st period and for most of the 2nd period was fight. Not the symbolic sense of the word where their play improves as they try to fight back into the game; no the old time hockey garbage where they make a statement with their fists! Andrew Peters would be proud you fucking disappointment wagon! You know what: every stat, advanced and otherwise, would point you to the Sabres being ready to fuck this Hawks team sideways. Hawks goals allowed, Hawks goal for, second and third period goals, defensive play, shots, and scoring chances: every fucking category! I don’t even know where to start with this shit!

For real this time: Fire Phil Housley. Several games back against Tampa Bay I said this club has probably given us the outline, the criteria if you will, to Fire Housley. I waited so long to jump on this ugly self-hating bandwagon but here I am on this bad fucking bandwagon. If he gets fired that will be five Sabres coaches in six years. I’m sure that doesn’t matter to Jason Botterill but holy hell it should matter to us at some point. Fuck it: he’s insane. I don’t need to even talk about Lawrence Pilut: he got into this game even if it’s with City punching bag Marco Scandella. It’s all the shit Housley doesn’t do: like make big changes when the Sabres need consistency or making no changes when the Sabres need them. Its ten minutes into the second and the Sabres are down 3-0 on the back of three fucking snipes from the two old dudes and Caggiula’s first. What does Housley do? Not a damn thing. Starting Hutton in the first place probably wasn’t wise but fuck, dude: when you’re getting your shit pushed in by the Chicago Blackhawks, not the 2013 Chicago Blackhawks, the 2019 CHICAGO BLACKHAWKS, then you’re doing something wrong. Not only am I not sure Housley put his best roster forward for this game, I’m not sure he had any motivational or tactical moves in mind to fire up the comeback machine once the sky started falling. It’s the beginning of a seven game home stand, your club needs points in the standings and Patrick Kane is back in town and you’re allowing this shit!? This game made me stare into the fucking abyss with this team!

You want a play by play? Huh, shit. The first period sounded like the Sabres we’re playing their game against what is objectively a weak Blackhawks team. They got more shots all period and even got two opportunities on the powerplay. Then Drake Caggiula scored. I’ve already mentioned this poor kid’s name three times this blog but his first career goal is a turning point. It was so massive it put fucking laxatives in all the Sabres water bottles because they came out in the second to SHIT ALL OVER THE ICE! Here’s the thing: the Sabres somehow outshoot the Hawks this second period as well but they could not be worse at advancing the puck. All their passes were intercepted and all their turnovers turned into D-zone time. They must have been turned on from when the Stars pushed them around in Dallas because they got pushed around by the fourth worst team in the league last night! Kane, Keith and later Saad to make sure we’re sad! Remember when Brendan Saad’s name was a stupid meme in 2014? That meme rose from the dead to end the second. All the Blackhawks jerseys in the crowd only made it worse. Who are Buffalo Blackhawks fans? The answer is Patrick Kane’s family and his teenage drinking buddies. I have a feeling all those Hawks jerseys couldn’t have been one of those two groups all though Buffalonians do tell me he was always a prolific drinker. Jack Eichel did score a Rasmus Ristolainen shot deflection to provide a little ray of hope but that was promptly expunged. Oh, I don’t even want to put up with you punks wanting a trade for Kane. The whole second period was just a list of grievances about this team!

The Sabres won in Columbus and they were in it for 85% of the game in Dallas. They have been bad for weeks and months now but they were looking better out of the bye-week. That false flag just shit in all our mouths! I was celebrating an anniversary with my wife so the two of us watched a comedy during this third period. I’ll tell you if I wasn’t so emotionally involved I would say this third period is quite funny! Jason Pominville maneuvers right in front of that demon goalie Cam Ward 3:30 into the third and puts one over him. This goal demonstrated how fucking soft the Hawks defense was this game letting Pommer in there to score one-on-one with Ward. Oh boy is the comeback machine firing up again!? Next it’s Kyle Okposo who gets credit for a puck passing Ward in a net crashing play where everyone was just pounding their sticks like they were begging the God of Irony to not let this game end in a stinker. Kyle Okposo who was punished with the fourth line but what’s that Coach Housley: You’re going to put a veteran first and try and change the game by putting Okposo on the second line? Well look at that, you got the Sabres within one. You put Linus Ullmark in net? Wow maybe you don’t need the Veterans but I’m not giving you credit for that one because you started Hutton to begin with. You ready: it’s time to stare into the abyss with me. Connor Murphy wrist shot equals goal. Patrick Kane with an empty netter to surpass 900 NHL points and become one of the fucking top seven Americans in points! And then Brendan Saad with an empty netter because irony lives in a mansion down on Delaware avenue and he loves going to Buffalo Sports events! Game over: YOU STINK!

To Housley’s credit apparently he tore into them afterward. Remi Elie going on waivers today could be Jason Botterill beginning to make some moves to fix this mess. In the meantime I’ve mentioned this abyss we stared into with this game a couple times. Let’s shine a light into this abyss to see what it holds: for one the Sabres being one of the worst teams in the league in terms of points gathered and record since the win streak steers us into this abyss. It holds the misery of at one point being first in the NHL and then missing the playoffs in March. It’s another offseason starting in April where we get engrossed in the Draft and wonder what offseason moves happen and how they affect the team next season. It’s another fucking season with no playoffs. I was in High School last time they made it and I wasn’t even really into sports then! Oh my God, it’s talking about an 84 point finish as an improvement when we finished LAST a season ago! THIS SHIT IS CYCLICAL! IT’S LIKE WE’RE NOT ALLOWED ANY FUN! Is it because the Bills went to the Superbowl four straight times and lost? I’d sell that fucking team to Nazem Kadri himself if it gets the SABRES ONE FUCKING PLAYOFF BERTH! Here we are losing to the Blackhawks! We all knew 1st place in November was a fluke but this: THIS IS JUST CRUEL! Holy shit I need to relax! I have to prepare to host a Superbowl party and watch the most hated man in Football win another Superbowl this weekend. There is just no rest! I cannot believe this whole fucking mess!

Drop a like. Each like goes toward maintaining my sanity like all those thumbs up on Facebook go toward bringing clean water to sub-Saharan Africa. Comment if you’re wondering what my solution to this mess is. I was going to include some replacements for Housley and some tactical ideas but I didn’t have the patience with this team if they can’t even win games that are laid out on a silver platter for them to win. Share this blog: I was party inspired to do this based on Steve Dangle’s Leafs Fan reaction. The early years of that were enjoyable for me as a Sabres fan because the Leafs sucked ass. It was pretty masochist in retrospect but if you’re the Leafs fan in the opposite position reading my shit in a masochistic way I really want to learn your story. Hell, just share this blog if you think we can commiserate together. Enjoy your Superbowl weekend and get ready for either further depression on Tuesday or more hope that the worst may not be happening. At this point either outcome would be an uproarious comedy.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. The Florida Panthers are totally going for Artemi Panarin and Sergei Bobrovsky. Perhaps next season we’ll have the matchups we expected to have with them this season.

[hockeygods14]

Auston Matthews- New Leafs- Chapter Seven

Masterlist

word count: 2,692

“What do you mean you’re in Toronto right now?” Sam said over the phone. I was about to walk into Auston and Mitch’s apartment. I don't really have time to get a hotel room right now, so after the game, I will have to get one.

“What do you not understand? I got onto a plane and now I am in Toronto.” I probably should have told him or Jack that I was leaving.

“What are you doing there?”

“Funny story. You see Mitch, Will, and Matt kidnapped Auston and brought him to Buffalo to talk to me.” Before I could say anything else Mitch comes up to me.

“We did not kidnap Auston!” Mitch throw his hands up in the air. He was halfway dressed in his suite for the game.

“So what happened with you and Auston then? Obviously, it was good because you went to Toronto with him.”

“We talked. I told him about Max.” I waited to hear what Sam was going to say about me telling him about Max.

“How was that Em?” I took a deep breath. It still hard to talk about. Even when I was talking to Auston earlier, it was hard. Just telling Sam how it went is difficult.

“It went well. It was hard to tell him like always.” I saw Mitch walk back into the room I was in with dark blue dress slacks, light blue shirt, and a blue tie. He was carrying his jacket in his hand and was fixing his shirt sleeve. “Sam I have to go. I will talk to you tomorrow okay? Good luck at tonight's game.” Sam said goodbye and hung up I walked over to Mitch.

“Do you want me to get you one of my jersey for tonight?” Mitch asked I was about to tell him, no but Auston came in.

“I don’t think so, Marner.” Auston handed me a blue jersey. It had 34 on it with Matthews. “When is Steph suppose to be here?” I looked up from the jersey to look at the boys in front of me. I finally looked at what Auston was wearing which was a maroon suit with a dark tie. Not a lot of guys can pull off a maroon suit but Auston can.

“She should be here soon.” Mitch put his jacket on.

“Were can I change?” I asked wanting to change into a different pair of jeans.

“I will show you to my room. You can also leave your bag in there.” I followed Auston down the hall.

“I was just going to bring my bag with to the game and leave it in the car. Then after you can just drop me off at a hotel.” I tell him looking around the room.

“Just stay here.” I didn't look at him. There is no room for me to stay here. There are two rooms one is Auston’s and the other is Mitch’s I am not going to sleep on the couch and I am not going to share a bed with Auston. Even though I would love to do that.

“I can stay at a hotel, its fine.”

“No, we brought you here and didn't give you enough time to plan anything out. Mitch and Steph will be sharing his room and you can take my bed and I will sleep on the floor or couch. I think we might even have a blowup mattress somewhere.” Who is Steph? I would feel bad if Auston slept on the floor or couch while I am in his bed. Getting a hotel room is the best choice.

“I can’t let you do that Auston. It really isn’t a problem I will just get a hotel.”

“Will you just listen to Auston and say here. It really is no problem.” Mitch was now standing in Auston’s doorway. “Steph is downstairs. Em get dressed and come down I want you two to meet before we leave for the game.” Mitch walked about. Auston turned to face me waiting to see what I would say to see if I would say I would stay but I still didn't know what to do. I mean it would be late by the time the game was over. Maybe stay here wasn't a bad idea.

“Fine, I will stay but on one condition.” I held up one figure.

“What might that be?” He waited for me to answer.

“Your bed is big enough for both of us. We both can stay in the bed. Just you stay on your side and I will stay on mine. I would feel bad if you woke up sore the next morning and you have hockey to worry about.” Auston looked a little surprised at what I said. “Go change we have to leave soon.” Auston did say anything else and just walked out of his room.

I change into Auston’s jersey. I have to say its a little weird wearing a Leafs jersey. I usually in a Buffalo one or Kane. I expected it to be big but it fit just like one of mine. I looked in the mirror at the blue and white jersey with number 34 on the sleeves and on the back with MATTHEWS on the back as well.

I walked down the stairs and hear laughing coming from the living room. I walk and see Auston laughing looking at Mitch who was sitting on the love seat with a cute blonde with his arm wrapped around her shoulder. the blonde must have heard me come in the room and looked my way and smiled.

“You must be Emily. I am Steph, Mitch’s girlfriend.” She got up from the seat she was in and walked up to me.

“It's nice to meet you.” I smile at her and see Mitch and Auston get up from where they were sitting and walking over to the door.

“Alright ladies, you both can talk at the game tonight. We are already late coach is going to have our heads.” Mitch said while pushing us out the door.

***

I followed Steph to our seats. I didn't really talk to Steph on the way here because Mitch was talking to her the whole time. Auston and I didn't really speak. I didn't really mind either I knew he was getting ready for his game and if looking out the window in silents and listening to Mitch and Steph, then I’m I will let him get in his zone. For once I actually want the Leafs to win.

“So Mitch didn't say anything but what is going on with you and Auston?” We had finally got to our seats. I was looking out to the ice the turned to her.

“There is nothing going on between Auston and me,” I told her honestly. There really isn't anything going on between us. Yes, we kissed but nothing more than that. Before I can even think about starting a new relationship I have to get Max out of the way.

“Oh come on they took him all the down to Buffalo to get you two to make up. You can’t sit there and tell me there is nothing going on between the both of you.” I don't know what to say. When I was trying to think about something to say two girls came walking up and sat next to Steph.

“Hey, Steph.” One of the girls said.

“Hey girls, this is Emily. Emily this is Sidney and Lucy.” They both said hi. I sit there hoping Steph with drop everything with Auston and I. I think I spoke too soon because Sidney brought up Auston.

“Are you the Emily that a couple of the guys went to Buffalo for Auston to talk to?” I stared at her for a minute and then looked out onto the empty ice.

“Yeah, I am.” I had no idea what else to say.

“Matt was telling about it when he was getting ready.” I am guessing Matt and her are together. I nodded my head. The announcer is on and intruded the two teams, everyone went wild for Toronto.

It wasn't like I was uncomfortable with the girls but they are here to watch their guys play hockey and I don't know what I am doing here. I have feelings for Auston there is no denying that. I looked down at the jersey Auston gave me to wear. I had this feeling I need to to take it off. I can’t do this to Auston or anyone. I looked over to Steph, Sidney, and Lucy they all were looking out to the ice looking at there loved ones skating out there, they all had smiles on their faces. You can tell they love the guys that are out there. I can’t help to think about one day I will have that, I hope.

I decided that I am not ready for a relationship or any kind I can’t make new friends right now. I have too many things to sort out right now. I got up from my seat told Steph I was going to use the restroom, which was a lie but I don't think she noticed I was lying. I went to a shop to buy a t-shirt. Everything had the Toronto Maple Leafs on it, I really shouldn't be surprised because we are at their game. I found the cheapest one and went to the bathroom and changed into that shirt, fold Auston jersey and put it inside the bag.

Walking back to where the girls were was hard. I know once I gave the bag with the jersey inside she would ask me questions. Questions that I won’t answer. They are going to have to tell Auston that I left. I looked up at the scoreboard and saw the Leafs leading 3-0. I smiled a little and looked down the ice. I saw 34 about to take a faceoff at their end of the ice. I took a deep breath and walked down the steps to where the girls were and sat down.

“Why did you change?” Steph asked. I am running away from something that could be really good for me. I am about to fuck up something that could be amazing.

“I need you to give this to Auston for me.” I hand her the bag but she doesn't take it.

“What is going on?” Steph looked confused.

“Can you please just give this to him and tell me I said sorry?” I was hoping she was going to take the bag but she didn’t.

“Emily is everything okay? Is this about me asking about you and Auston? Because if it is then I’m sorry. Mitch was telling me about you two and I saw the way Auston looked at you.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

“I like Auston there is no doubt about that.” I looked at all three girls who were looking at me. “I just can’t bring him into my mess of a life.”

“We all have problems, Emily, some worse the others. Matt told me about your ex and what he did. If that is what you're worried about.” I wasn’t mad Matt told his girlfriend. I just can’t bring any of them into it.

“I just need you to give this to Auston for me.” I set the bag at Steph’s feet and get up. By the time I got to the top of the stairs the goal horn went off and I turn around and see the Leafs had soccer again. I see the reply on the screen, Auston just scored. This is for the best.

***

It was too late to get a plane back home. I just went to a hotel for the night. I forgot that I don't have any of my things. Everything is at Auston’s place. I am no going to be able to get any of that back. I am going to have to buy anything again. Once I got into my hotel room I saw I got a text from Pat. I decided to call him instead or replying.

“Hello?” Does he not look to see who is calling?

“How is my favorite brother?”

“I am your only brother that you know of.” That is very true.

“You are right for once, but you are my favorite.” We both laugh.

“I heard you are in Toronto.” Great.

“Let me guess a certain Reinheart told you.”

“Yes, he did how is that going? I thought you would be at the game right now.”

“I am in a hotel room.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Pat. I am getting the first flight out.” Patrick won’t drop the question I know that already.

“Where are going back to Buffalo?” To be honest I don't know where I am going to go. Ever since coming home I feel like it been a mess.

“I don’t know,” I whispered to him. I think he heard me though because he started to yell at me.

“Don’t you dare say that. I don’t want you to go back to London. I don’t want you to go anywhere else. I want you to go to Buffalo or come here to Chicago. He'll stay here in Toronto and talk to Auston. You can’t just get up and leave again.” In the middle of his yelling, I put him on speaker so he wouldn't be yelling in my ear. I was looking at for something to eat. I didn’t feel like going out so room service sounds good.

“What should I get to eat? They have steak and shrimp, that sounds good. They also have-“ Patrick cut me off.

“Emily Elizabeth Kane stop talking about food and tell me where are you going tomorrow.” I froze Patrick never uses my full name.

“Patrick I don’t know. I have no idea what I am doing anymore. I don't know who to trust. I have too many problems. I keep running away from everything. Before I was running away from the bad things now look at me I am running away from the good things. I have tried to find something wrong with him but there is nothing. He is the sweetest and I am running away from him.” I start crying

“Emily stop crying. I am sorry. I imagine that you are going through a lot of feelings right now. Maybe you aren't ready or maybe you are and you are just scared to realize it. Just please don't leave again.” I could hear the fear in his voice. I didn't know what to say to him.

I don't know where I am going to go. If I go home then Auston, Mitch, Will, or Matt might show on my doorstep, I don’t want that to happen. If I go, Buffalo Amanda, Erin, Jack and Sam will be over at the house all the time. If I go to Chicago Pat and Jonathan will keep asking if I'm okay. I can’t go and talk to Auston like Pat said because I just left his game. I gave his jersey to Steph to him to him, he might be upset with me once he gets the bag. If I leave to go somewhere else I will hurt everyone.

“I have to do what’s best for me Pat and if that means going away for a little longer then I will. You all will just have to understand. If it means I have to go see Max then so be it. You all are just going to have to realize what happened to me isn't easy. My life has never been easy Pat.” He didn't say anything. “I love you, Patrick. I have to go. Goodbye.” Before he could say anything I had up the phone and put it on the nightstand.

After I got off the phone I knew where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do. I am going to get my life back.

[nuclearmu5hroom]

Thanks for the tag @kittenbloodcoffee (boy this is a long one....)

THE LAST: 
1. Drink:   Grapefruit soda 
2. Phone call:   My sister and I was trying to give her directions to the Pagan Pride Fest I was at yesterday 
3. Text message:   Veggie Lo Mein and Gen Tso's Chicken (its whats for dinner) 
4. Song you listened to:   Right now at this very moment I'm listening to I'm Your Boogeyman by Rob Zombie 
5. Time you cried:   Like cry cry? or tear up and get moopy? cause I tear up several times a day over stupid stuff but I last genuinely cried when it was brought to my attention that my ex wanted to talk about our son living with him full time.

HAVE YOU: 
6. Dated someone twice: I'm not entirely sure about what this means? Are you asking if I dated someone, broke up, then went back to them? Then yes, I've done that. 
7. Kissed someone and regretted it:   Yes 
8. Been cheated on:   Yes 
9. Lost someone special:   2 friends to suicide and another who I cant talk to because....reasons. 
10. Been depressed: Yup, that bitch runs in my family 
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up:   Yes in my younger years. I'm too old for that shit now 

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 
12-14: Blue, Purple and Red

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 
15. Made new friends:   All my pockets frands on Tombler dot gov 
16. Fallen out of love:   Yes sadly. 
17. Laughed until you cried:   Have you ever considered using a penis as an exotic weapon in D&D? I died when we made the rules for this. 
18. Found out someone was talking about you:  Probably but I don't remember or actively blocked it out 
19. Met someone who changed you:   Yes. Its a tendency of mine to absorb characteristics of the people I meet in order for them to like me more. 
20. Found out who your friends are: Secret friends? That sounds neat..if there is anyone who is my friend and they'd like to tell me come on down!! 
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list:  Yes. Several people.

GENERAL: 
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life:   99.9% of them. 
23. Do you have any pets:   I haz 1 itty bitty kitteh 
24. Do you want to change your name: Nope I like mine just fine. I was named after a friend of my Mom's who joined the Circus. 
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Got a PipBoy and the PC version of Fallout 4, my husband made me breakfast and we went out to dinner. It was a good day, tater. 
26. What time did you wake up:   7:30, like most days 
27. What were you doing at midnight last night:   Came home from the movies. I got to see Pee Wee's Big Adventure in the theater! 
28. Name something you can’t wait for:  To hear back if Danny Shorago's gonna be at TooManyGames next year. That and my gaming PC and also my BodyKun/Chan mannikins 
29. When was the last time you saw your mom:   2 1/2 years ago. I don't talk to her and don't wish to. 
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life:  My level of education. I really want to go to school for animation and illustration 
31. What are you listening right now:   Short Change Hero - The Heavy. (I am always listening to music. ALWAYS) 
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom:   Yup, he's one of our managers at my work. Good guy, I like him. 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves:   American Politics and corruption (getting on my nerves is a bit of an understatement) 
34. Most visited Website:   Tumblr, Facebook, Twitter

LOST QUESTIONS. (I mean I just wrote about myself lol) 
35. Mole/s: Molemolemolemolemolemolemolemolemole  (yes I have a few <.<) 
36. Mark/s:   Stretch marks from mah bebbes, scars from self injury from years and years ago. 
37. Childhood dream:   I always wanted to be a Marine Biologist

38. Haircolor: At the moment its electric blue, but naturally its shit brown

39. Long or short hair: Short and shaved on the side and back 
40. Do you have a crush on someone:   Don't tell my husband but yes I do ^-^ (don't worry, its on a celebrity so nothing will ever happen lol) 
41. What do you like about yourself:   I got awesome legs and I'm kinda funny sometimes. 
42. Piercings:   I used to have SO MANY PIERCINGS! I had my right eyebrow, tongue, I had an industrial in my right ear, both nipples, navel, clitoral hood, aaannnnd labia. 
43. Bloodtype: A+ and I always donate 
44. Nickname: Mush (like Mush-chelle) 
45. Relationship status: Married 
46. Zodiac:   Pisces 
47. Pronouns:   She/Her and I'm perfectly ok with they/them too

48. Favorite TV Show:   Stranger Things   
49. Tattoos:   I have Princess Zelda covering my left bicep, the burning eye from Tool on my neck and a really shitty biker tattoo of a fairy that I got for free when I was 16. I plan on getting it covered up.......whenever. 
50. Right or left hand:   Righty 
51. Surgery: Nope 
52. Hair dyed in different color:   See above - Its BLOOOOO 
53. Sport:   Hockey (Go Flyers!) 
55. Vacation: My favorite vacation I ever went to was Disneyworld when I was 10. My dream vacation would be to see my Uncle Klaus and Omi in Germany  
56. Pair of trainers:   Converse. I have a black pair and a maroon pair

MORE GENERAL: 
57. Eating:  OMNOMNOMNOM (I love food) 
58. Drinking:   Til I PEEEE! 
59. I’m about to:   Drop the hottest mix tape this side of my 30s 
61. Waiting for:   a sense of the miraculous in everyday life (pfffffft HA!) 
62. Want:   A house 
63. Get married:  Already did. Wouldn't do it again. 
64. Career: At the moment I am in QA for a small cable company. I like it a lot here, been doing it for 3 years now. The company is good and its loyal to its employees and I could see myself sticking through here as my day job until I retire. What I really want to do though is make my own cartoons.

WHICH IS BETTER 
65. Hugs or kisses:   Depends on the situation 
66. Lips or eyes:   Eyes yes 
67. Shorter or taller:   I want either pocket sized or so tall I cant see where you end. There is no in between 
68. Older or younger: For what? I will be friends with anyone between the ages of 0-150 
70. Nice arms or nice stomach:   Nice stomach arms

71. Sensitive or loud:   Sensitive. Come at me with loud noises and I will yell at you (which defeats the purpose of being quiet) 
72. Hook up or relationship:   Relationships are nice cause they're stable but something about a hook up is hot af  
73. Troublemaker or hesitant:   I will see how much trouble can be tolerated without getting caught. I don't cross boundaries

HAVE YOU EVER: 
74. Kissed a stranger:   Yes. 28th birthday I did 
75. Drank hard liquor:  I plan to tonight 
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses:   Heaven help me if I ever lose my glasses. I am legally blind without them. 
77. Turned someone down:   Yarp. 
78. Sex in the first date:   Yeah. It was whatever 
79. Broken someone’s heart:  More than I care to admit 
80. Had your heart broken:   In a way that can never truly be mended (unrequited is the fucking worst) 
81. Been arrested: Thankfully no

82. Cried when someone died:  I cry when people across the planet die.   
83. Fallen for a friend:   Absolutely  

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
84. Yourself:   Yeah I'm pretty cool sometimes. 
85. Miracles: I'm in the middle of questioning this. Try again later. 
86. Love at first sight:   That's silly. I believe in lust at first sight but love requires time 
87. Santa Claus:   I'm a Mom so yes. Its written in the parenting rule book you have to.   
88. Kiss in the first date: I kissed my husband on our first date. (and I tried to take him home but he said NO) 
89. Angels:   I believe in extradimentional contacts that have before been described as 'Angels'

OTHER: 
90. Current best friends name: Emma (my sister), Toni, (my other sister who I wish was my sister) 
91. Eye color:   Blue! and I was happy to have passed my mutation to my kids too (both their dads have brown eyes throughout their entire families) 
92. Favorite movie: MST3K: The Movie, Hot Fuzz, Pulp Fiction, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Three Amigos, I Heart Huckabees.

 And now for the fun part!: I tag @ashleyanthrax, @slickmedici, @midnight14, @time4teabeesknees and @sonderingtrashcompactor

 This is a long one so don't go out of your way if you dun wanna.

[fiftythousandgreenbacks]

behind the scenes tag thing

this is for @threejerseyboys

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

ooooh recently cold brew coffee is my shit. Cold brew coffee and heavy cream together is so tasty and pretentious I love it

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

a maknae. Im the youngest of my family and I can’t do shit without other ppl taking care of me and doting on me so :) I can just be cute instead

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

Sadly yes. I mean that’s what happens to everyone. If you think your behavior doesn’t change when you caught feelings, you’re lying t yourself hunny! I know because I’ve done the same, hunny! Not that it’s bad, but it’s also not always good either. 

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

My mom, since she was the one I spent my first day of my life with technically? May as well end things in full circle? Why am I sounding really casual

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

Don’t die, juggle a lot of responsibilities successfully without being a wreck, keep my emotions in check, get a goddamn research position in college, be chill

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

I don’t really know right now tbh. But my heart always has a place for jk. So I guess as close to jk as possible. sweet. smol but strong. meme. weird as fuck. stupid but also smart n hardworking.

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

This varies every 5 minutes but for now, it’s...

Doves in the Wind by SZA. Whenever I catch myself in negative thoughts, I need to listen to this to remind myself of my self worth and whatnot.

First Love/late Spring by Mitski. I loooooove her so much i’m seeing her in october and her songwriting is so impeccable it hurts me and her voice is so ahh

Winter by Khalid. I’m seeing him tomorrow! And I’m going to cry if he does sing this!

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

Crying when Khalid sings! And meeting him! I’m gonna tell him about my depression! And it’s gonna be a moment!

move: last time you cried?

At my friends house and I was in a sad emotional state. I think she cried at one point too. Good times! Love hanging out with my friends!

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

Myself bitch. Jk too, especially when he performed in those weird hockey outfits and he had weird crimped hair that was flouncy

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

To be honest? The shrek series. And this ain’t me being a meme. I genuinely loved it so much when I was a kid and I still thing it’s an excellent and funny and great and quality movie. Literally, name a better kid’s movie with kid’s humor that’s still clever and can appeal to anyone.

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

I mean the obvious answer is bts. And I mean. It’s obvious for a reason. Since. It’s right. I don’t have the mental capacity to be creative and think of anything else. 

whalien 52: weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

Excluding all the sad terrible ones involving me or my friends and family dying, there was one dream where i went thru a bunch of alternate universes whilst being chased by a shadowy figure. A Wrinkle in Time style adventure, but with a less cool main character

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

0 seconds ago bitch I feel sexy rn

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

I’ll exclude my family since that’s too basic. I’ll say recently I’ve been really grateful for my roommate because she’s been like the main reason of my college experience turning out okay so far. Like, through her I was able to meet a lot of great people and she let me stay over her house during spring break, and she’s like simultaneously my older sister who keeps my messy ass in check and also a puppy that licks your face too much. 

lie: biggest fear?

Losing my friends. There’s a lot of things I’d rather suffer through than lose my friends. Especially the ones I’ve made in high school, because I’m so far away from them most of the year. 

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

If you think you’re ace and you don’t catch feelings and you’re above men, you wrong bitch. Unfortunate. 

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

Listen to music and read my old weeb drawings and diary entries and remember I’ve come so far since middle school

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

This can probably be applicable to any hardworking kpop group I guess but I really really admire their work ethic and the quality shit they put out every time. Like, their music is so well produced and written and performed and they’re just nonstop on the grind and even with all the success they’re getting, they don’t let it get to their heads with how chill their personalities still are. I love the emphasis on friendship and teamwork they push in their songs and concepts, and truly deserve all the success and hype they’re getting. They really started from humble beginnings and seeing how much they’ve grown and changed is really inspiring too. 

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

I need to write a news brief about a lawsuit, I need to get a job/volunteer position, I need to clean my room, I need to clean my emotions...a lot

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

Ten exactly. for now.

[tic-tacbergerac]

Please wax lyrical about Team North America because I know you want to

OKAY SO FUCKING BASICALLY

At the WCH [world cup of hockey, a tournament that happens whenever the Fuck it wants], there was a Wonderful Team. A team that clicked. A team of Wonderful Good Boys Who Would Save The World.

Well, not really. But they came close.

Team North America was the WCH team comprised of players from both the US and Canada 23 years old or younger. So you had guys like Brandon Saad [23, I called him Brandon Daad for a while because of his Relatively Old Status] and, strangely, Johnny Gadreau [also 23, which should fuck you up just as much as it fucked me up in August] and Genuine Rookies Who Had Never Played An NHL Game (We’re looking at you, Auston Matthews). 

I’ve heard this team described as “Summer Camp.” Connor McDavid was their Captain. They were pals. There are some fun interviews, like this one, where Jack Eichel says “JAHNNY HAHKEY” and it’s funny. There’s also this one, also courtesy of Jack Eichel. He’s a fun guy, apparently.

You’d think, seeing all this joy, that things went well for this team, right?

Wrong.

During their game against Sweden, the score was tied and the game went into overtime. The boys were told that, if they won, they’d move on. Nathan Mackinnon scored a KILLER OVERTIME GOAL, and it was BEAUTIFUL, AND BIRDS WERE SINGING AND OUR SKIN WAS CLEAR AND OUR CROPS FLOURISHED AND OUR DEPRESSION WAS GONE.

And Then.

The boys found out that not only did they have to win that game, because they won it in overtime they had to count on Finland to beat Russia the next day.

If you know anything about Finland and Russia’s international relations, or their hockey teams, you know that this simply isn’t going to turn out the way Team NA wants it to. So the boys, eliminated at the hands of Cruel, Cold Siberia, went home. But, in the words of Fantatsic Musical Artists My Chemical Romance, their “memory will carry on!” 

WHERE ARE THEY NOW? 

Matt Murray, Team NA’s goalie, had a broken hand. He still keeps goal for the Pittsburgh Penguins. He’s a good boy. Connor McDavid became the captain of the Edmonton Oilers before he had played a full season with them or any other NHL team. (Fun fact: at the time CMCD was named Captain, he had played so few NHL games that, if the Oilers had won the Stanley Cup last year, his name would not have been on it.)Johnny Hockey ™ Finally renewed his contract with the Flames AND copyrighted the name Johnny Hockey ™.Jack Eichel Became That Guy You Thought Was Cute But It Turns Out He Voted For Trump.Auston Matthews Finally played his first NHL game. He scored four goals. The Leafs still lost.Aaron Ekblad Still looks like a forty-year-old father of three.Brandon Saad and the Columbus Blue Jackets shut out the Montreal Canadiens 10-0. Ryan Nugent-Hopkins Will remain trapped in Edmonton forever. #RIPJo Drouin and Nathan Mackinnon Are happily married and live in a small house on a lake in Vermont. They are adopting two children at the end of the season. They will never have to be apart again.

[joey-votto]

I was tagged by @jrobertsons like a week ago to do this and I'm sorry it took so long but here it is THE LAST 1. Drink: cold straight up skim milk 2. Phone call: my friend lost her phone so I called it to try to find it 3. Text message: something is up with my phone and I went through 50% of my family's data this month and went through 15% in 2 days and we need to find out how to fix it 4. Song you listened to: Too Much To Ask by Niall Horan is the only song I've listened to in 4 days 5. Time you cried: This morning i was thinking about how hockey is starting today and got emo 6. Dated someone twice: My guy I haven't dated someone once 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: can't relate in the slightest 8. Lost someone special: I've never had anyone really close to me die if this is what the question is asking but I've told you all about the girl that I used to be friend with lmao 9. Been cheated on: nah 10. Been depressed: hell yeah 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope idk what alcohol is Three favorite colors - teal, navy, fushia IN THE LAST YEAR I HAVE 15. Fallen out of love: god_i_wish_that_were_me.jpg 16. Laughed until you cried: tbh I cry just about every time I laugh 17. Found out someone has been talking about you: I have the most important student leadership position in my band I'll let you guess on that one 18. Met someone who changed you: yea thanks you know who you are 19. Found out who your friends are: gee I wish 20: Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don't even have Facebook GENERAL 21. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 0 22. Do you have any pets: my dog is a puggle named bowser 23. Do you want to change your name: Idk what I'd change it to and I'd be stressed that i made the wrong decision so no lol 24: What did you do for your last birthday: me and one friend went to go see fantastic beasts and where to find them and I wouldn't have changed singing 25. What time did you wake up: 6 and then i immediately fell back asleep and woke back up at 6:29 26. What were you doing at midnight last night: scrolling through tombler dot net hating my life 27. Name something you can’t wait for: 1. Hockey tonight 2. Meeting Jan in November 3. Starting college and moving out of my house 4. Meeting Jay at another currently unscheduled time 28. When was the last time you saw your mom: 6 am this morning, she got home about 10 minutes ago and I still haven't been downstairs yet 29. What are you listening to right now: the vent in the corner of my room 30. Have you ever talked to someone named Tom: that's me dad's name and was my grandpas name. 31. Something that is getting on your nerves right now: my phone tbfh 32. Most visited website: guess 33. Hair color: idfk dude. Brown? Red? Blonde? 34. Short or long hair: it's long enough for me to cover my boobs like a mermaid 35. Do you have a crush on someone: yea and i want to fucking did! 36. What do you like about yourself: I'm kinda funny and know a lot about sports 37. Any piercings: one in each earlobe 38: blood type: ?????? 39: Nickname: I don't have one :((( 40. Relationship status: single 41. Zodiac: scorpio♏️ 42. Pronouns: she/her 43. Favourite TV show: I don't watch TV sorry 44. Tattoos: don't have any but I want a few 45. Right or left handed: left! 46. Surgery: nope 47: Sport: BASEBALL 48. Vacation: idk what this is asking but I went to Seattle in June that was fun 49. Trainers: do you mean gym shoes? Is this European? I'm from Ohio the word is tennis shoes even though I've never picked up a racquet in my life 50. Eating: idk something my mom made in the crock pot 51. Drinking: MILK 52. I’m about to: eat dinner 53. Waiting for: the reds game I'm going to on Saturday 54. Want: a nice solid baseball playing bf 55. Get married: if it's to a mlb player yea but if not then no 56. Career: SPORTS WRITER 57. Hugs or kisses: hugs 58. Lips or eyes: Eyes binch 59. Short or Tall: don't really care 60. Older or younger: i don't really care as long as it's reasonable. Like where I am right now I wouldn't date a freshman and I wouldn't date a college student. 61. Nice arms or stomach: ARMS 62. Hookup or relationship: relationship 63. Troublemaker or Hesitant: hesitant HAVE YOU EVER 64: kissed a stranger: no 65: drank hard liquor: no 66. Lost glasses/contact lenses: never had glasses 67. Had your heart broken: yeah when zayn left 1d 68. Been arrested: no 69. Cried when someone died: Carrie Fisher 70. Fallen for a friend: doesn't count it was 4th grade DO YOU BELIEVE IN 71. Yourself: sometimes 72. Miracles: yes 73. Love at first sight: no 74. Santa Claus: no 75. Kiss on the first date: no 76. Angels: yea OTHER Eye color: idfk it changes everyday Favorite Movie(s): i don't watch movies bc I'm a failure Sorry it took me so long to do this and I'm really too lazy to tag anyone so if you want to do it go ahead and say I tagged you

[thebigcitynightsband]

Bus King/Busking/Night Moves

That’s a photo of me and my ex-gf. I just found it last week in my bag that Jamie brought to me from Burlington, thanks Jamie bro. Happier times, man. We’re still friends but we don’t see each other much. That’s a repeating pattern with me. Me and a gal will break up, declare an intention to stay friends, and then I be their friend while they work hard at vanishing from my life and into the arms of some dude who hates me cuz I’m still her friend. Happened with Jessica, happened with Courtney. Next time I’ll just do the sudden severance. Seems to work for other people.

Well, fuck. I’ve been struggling a little bit lately. Still sober, still pissing in a cup every day. My hours got cut at work for a few weeks but they’re back up to full-time next week, where they’ll remain until mid-December. I’m trying to save my apartment, need to find a roommate to take over the lease, which requires first and last, which I don’t have but I’m trying to acquire somehow.

A few days ago I went busking for the first time in about a year. Queen and University is my corner, northwest side. I like it there because you get a lot of 905ers coming out of Osgoode Station to go explore Queen West, people who don’t ordinarily see buskers, so they’re generous. I can only play for about three hours on an acoustic before my fingers start to hurt too much to play chords, and you average about six bucks an hour. I write a lot of songs that way. “Make It Mine” off the new album was written while busking last year and I came up with a few new ones the other day. It was a good day, actually. I woke up broke and without food and ended the day with a full belly and a pack of cigarettes and an Arizona Iced Tea. I felt content. So I’m gonna go back out there tomorrow. And probably the next day too.

My laptop died and I almost lost the record, but I was able to extract the files after a few days of feeling numb and worried. I really like our upcoming album, the songs have kept me good company over the past year, and the thought of losing the whole damn thing, save for “Fighting Ways” which is finished, and a handful of others, was a little scary. It’s not gone though. Sweet relief. BCN songs are like cockroaches. They find a way. Cue “Long Distance King” in your head as you read that last line...”we’ll find a waaaaay, we’ll fiiind a waaaaay.” Glory days. Before everything went to shit.

Hey, know what’s a great record? Break Up Break Down by Reigning Sound. Listen to the quavering, breathless delivery from Greg Cartwright on this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7fWcZKZR3jg

Another great one off that record is called “Want You,” a really sad, pretty ballad. I’d like to make an album of Memphis ballads some day, in the vein of Break Up Break Down. We’ll call it Fuck Up Fuck Off or something.

I set up my keyboard tonight with a mind to do some overdubs tomorrow. I’ve been avoiding doing keyboard overdubs on the album forever because I’m a terrible keyboard player and it takes a really long time to get a single coherent take and I don’t have the patience that I used to. I finished “Night Needles” from A Steamroller Named Desire in a single evening, and that song has probably the most piano of any BCN song. I doubt I could do the same thing now. I’m older now and runnin against the wind, as Bob Seger would sing. Has sung, whatever. Running Against the Wind. I love that song. “Wish I didn’t know now what I didn’t know then” is a great line eh? Legend has it Seger wanted to cut that line but the producer told him how great it was, which it is. Oftentimes artists can’t recognize their own greatness. Years ago, when I was sixteen or so, I was trying to put together a set of acoustic covers in my bedroom. I remember doing “Leave It Alone” by Moist, which is pretty embarrassing now, but also “Against the Wind” and an acoustic version of the Smashing Pumpkin’s “Ava Adore,” which I was surprised to find has a very similar chord progression as “Against the Wind.” I mean, those two songs sound nothing alike, yet they’re very alike, chord-wise.

ANYWAY I’m rambling. Just finished an assignment for a client (I do people’s homework for them as a side hustle. Forty bucks here, sixty bucks there, it all goes into the giant hole I dug for myself the past few years.) I owe money to one guy who actually chased me this past January, up near Dovercourt and Hallam. I had to jump a couple fences but I got away. He’ll get paid soon enough. They all do.

I’m working on it man. Pushing against the tide. Runnin against the wind.

One last thing about that Bob Seger song: I’ve always thought that part where he yells “let the cowboys ride!” at the end of the song was stupid. Why couldn’t he have taken that part out? It’s so obvious that he was out of ideas and just mustered up the best open field imagery he could in the moment. Let the cowboys ride? Given the greatness that comes before that line, I can’t dismiss the song, even if it’s not as good as the immortal “Night Moves.”

A quick word about “Night Moves” before I go. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_mRFWQoXq4c I honestly think it’s one of the greatest all-time vocal performances. There are three distinct parts in the song that always give me shivers. The first is that irresistible “summertime summertime” part @ 2:19. The second comes in that great breakdown, when the title changes from a sexual innuendo to a somber, forlorn musing on the passage of time and how time can move slower when you’re bored, faster when you’re absorbed and excited. Ain’t it funny how the night moves...when you just don’t seem to haaaaaaaave as much to lo-o-se. It’s that “have” that always gets me...just the way Seger gives it the perfect amount of witsfulness and gravelly gravity. Fuckin killer. Singing is always a fine balance between technical proficiency and emotional delivery, but on that line Seger’s 99% heart, 1% technique, and it still sounds incredible. To me, at least.

The last part is in the final minor descending refrain @ 5:04, even though it’s just Bob doing a bunch of “ooooohooohoohhhs.” It wouldn’t be as good if that vocal came over the main riff, but it doesn’t. It comes over the same chord progression as the chorus, that sad lilting minor key descent. Every time, man. Every time.

I’ve been trying to cover “Night Moves” since 2007. I don’t think I’ve ever got past the first chorus. I just can’t sell it. Those aren’t my memories, they’re Bob Seger’s. I never existed in the 1950s America he’s singing about in the song, the America of taking your sweetheart to the drive-in, cruising the strip, going to diners and pushing coins into jukeboxes. That wasn’t my adolescence. So it’s a tough one to sing. You have to know when you’re beaten. That’s part of growing up.

I don’t talk to my Dad anymore. He hates my guts and so does his girlfriend. It doesn’t bother me except for when I hear certain songs...songs like “Night Moves” or “Walking On The Moon” by The Police...first time I ever heard my father sing on the way to Owen Sound for a hockey tournament I was playing...it was the chorus, that “no way, chasing your cares away” part, and we had sunflower seeds and that was the night I fell in love with highways and movement and travel and all that Kerouac stuff I’d get obsessed with later, all those fuckin notebooks I filled with eager scrawling about road trips I hadn’t yet taken. I lost all those notebooks somehow, can’t remember maybe I tossed them all on purpose, kind of a year zero event. Too much in those notebooks was lines from existing songs. I remember one time going through an old notebook and seeing “the sea is foaming like a bottle of beer” and thinking I’d written it...nope...it was a Weezer song. I’d just scrawled out that one line hammered one night, drunk at 17, back when it was actually exciting to get drunk and not a sad chore like it later became.

I’m going busking tomorrow. I might not be able to do “Night Moves” but I can bust out “Against the Wind.” I ain’t licked yet. It ain’t over. I’m older now and still runnin against the wind. Let the cowboys ride or whatever.

Edit, PS: That was a really dramatic fuckin post. I’m sorry. For some much-needed levity, here’s a picture of me from last week. Some friends visited while I was in bed, and I came out to say hello still holding my book.  PPS: Hey, know another great Bob Seger song? “Still the Same,” especially those ghostly backing vocals in the second verse. Check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjDpKeiYxOU PPPS: Hey, know another song that has cool ghostly additional instrumental in the second verse? Bruce Springsteen’s “Downbound Train.” It’s not his greatest song and I don’t like Bruce’s overdone “blue collar accent,” the dumb slurring he likes to do in order to sound more like a mechanic making $20 000 a year, but that beautiful synth organ that comes in on the second verse is just heartwrenching, listen for it @ 0:49: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nc_mv46NwT4 The organ has a pretty sweet solo for one-bar starting at 1:21. If I could get that organ tone, I wouldn’t put off doing keyboard overdubs, lemme tell ya son, I tell ya what.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 35 - TOR - WHY NOT?

5-3 Regulation Loss

This is a confluence of events that gets you thinking about what kind of Sports City Buffalo is. The Buffalo Bills just locked up their first ten-win season since the year the Buffalo Sabres were last in the Stanley Cup Final. That sealed a playoff appearance this NFL season, the second such appearance this century. The last team the Sabres overcame to go to that 1999 Stanley Cup Final is none other than the Toronto Maple Leafs. Time is a flat circle but this all still feels very new. Buffalo has supported their teams loyally through thick and thin but mostly thin. Times like these feel like the reward. I’m not saying the Buffalo Sabres are due to go to the Stanley Cup Final but us holding the fort through this beyond shitty decade of hockey deserves some catharsis too. Spare a moment to think about how Buffalo is often regarded as a City free agents don’t want to come to. It feels bad but look at the Taylor Hall trade. New Jersey had him, got an MVP season out of him, but has now ultimately lost him. There are far fewer guys in Sabres history who were here for a short time and left. Yeah, there’s Drury, Briere and a handful of others but we don’t suffer from the same things the big popular cities suffer from. In those big markets you don’t have the attachment. They just leave whenever the contracts don’t line up. Sure that happens everywhere, but certainly a lot less in the frozen hellscapes nobody wants to visit like Buffalo. Just food for thought I guess. In the bigger, richer frozen hellscape up the highway, the new Toronto Maple Leafs, the Big Four Leafs if you will, have been good for nearly four years now. That’s begun to feel normal but in spite of that seeming inevitability it is the Sabres who are higher in the standings today. A rough start preceding a Head Coaching change still holds back the team everyone though was a Stanley Cup contender before the season began. National TV and the good taste of Sunday Night Football in our mouths this game was tantalizing opportunity.

Despite a high forechecking start for the visitors the Leafs struck first. Fredrik Gauthier benefited from a Brandon Montour turnover and ripped off a quick one past Linus Ullmark. In spite of the early 1-0 lead for the Leafs, Buffalo continued with an aggressive attack and very rarely too far away from the puck. The problem is they didn’t get many shots on goal, only five total for the whole first period. Most of the Sabres shots were after the twelve-minute mark. New Toronto Maple Leafs Coach Sheldon Keefe played around with line matchups and started juggling the Auston Matthews line away from the Eichel line. That and floating an extra winger seemed to get Buffalo lodged in their zone for uncomfortably long periods of time. Linus Ullmark had a lot of work in the first period. He was dancing with the best of them and robbed John Tavares before robbing Tyson Barrie. Like when I say robbed, Barrie’s jaw literally dropped. Ideally though you want to be the team taking the shots, not the one needing your goalie to have a big night. In the first period the Leafs were the ones shooting. The second period went… well worse. What do you call a horny white dude with a streak of hair on his upper lip? A 1970s pornstar… No: Auston Matthew. His scoring streak was done and the best porn stache Glendale, Arizona has seen in decades decided to whip it out when Jack Eichel is in the house!

A frantic zone entry preceded Morgan Rielly shooting a quick assist over to Matthews who fired it quicker than Ullmark could get over, 2-0 Leafs. What followed afterward for Buffalo was not the best hockey. Uh, no sir, the shooting was better than the first period by purely a shots on goal metric, but something just wasn’t clicking. In some respects the visitors just kind of… well flailed. There was a decent two-on-rush the Sabres got, that mind you was Conor Sheary and Jimmy Vesey, that just stopped dead in its tracks for no reason. Sheary just stopped to dead to play target practice. He did not aim well. When Auston Matthews scored the second time it was a rush done properly and a defensive scheme from Buffalo that just saw nobody try to stop anyone from doing anything. Rasmus Dahlin was in the net behind Ullmark like he didn’t know where to go! 3-0 Leafs and I got to say this was the first time since mid-November it looked like this team was down on itself. Ralph Krueger must have said what the astute observer of the NHL was thinking in the second intermission: this isn’t 2017, y’all have no reason to get down on yourselves playing THIS Leafs team. Stop it. Buck up and go get em. Go get em they did.

If you have a cursory understanding of the Toronto Maple Leafs Hockey Club you may know they just love throwing away leads. Funny thing in this season of giving is that the Buffalo Sabres Hockey Club loves late game comebacks. The Sabres won the Thanksgiving Playoffs last year doing it! The carry over from a John Tavares holding penalty from the last period gave the Sabres the man advantage in the early going and they took some momentum from it. Jack Eichel sets up Dahlin at the point and he launches one all the way home past Fredrik Andersen. Buffalo is on the board down 3-1 now and you better watch out because when the Sabres score powerplay goals they play with reckless abandon. Suddenly this game was a track meet back and forth. On one of those crazy rushes Dmytro Timashov beat Ullmark short side to extend the Leafs lead 4-1. A couple plays later Toronto almost scores and the puck is quickly rotated out of the defensive zone to Eichel already off down the ice in the opposite direction outrunning Justin Holl. Eichel puts it top shelf because FUCK Toronto! Get out of the way of my fucking yuletide spirit! Technically Eichel’s point streak was already continued by an assist on the Dahlin goal but yummy yummy in my tummy, give me banger against the Leafs, thanks Jack! The crazy pace did slow down a little after that unfortunately. I’ll be honest, it’s been a crazy week for my wife and I, so we were eyes deep in Kate McKinnon impressions at this point. Nonetheless the look of a comeback was brewing.

Kyle Okposo scored a rebound tap in sneaky shit and suddenly it’s a one goal game 4-3 with a little over five minutes left in regulation! Steve Dangle’s heart doctor isn’t going to like the look of this one at the next appointment! When Okposo scores it triggers one or both of two things: toxic hockey bros’ tweets about his concussion history or a big dick goal scoring streaks in comeback games. In this case it was both. The Sabres laid it on thick like some warm Canadian maple syrup at a holiday breakfast. I could hear the suburban hockey dads gently whisper “grind it out” into the crisp winter air like angels getting their wings. Unfortunately it was just not to be tonight in the center of the universe. After Ullmark was pulled all it took was one poor pass by Marcus Johansson to spring Ilya Mikheyev on the empty netter insurance goal. That was basically it and this one ended 5-3 in regulation. Those are the worst kind of losses: the ones in regulation… against the Leafs. Wah wah. That was all she wrote. Unlike Saturday’s overtime loss to the Islanders, a loss you almost get up out of your chair at home and clap for, last night’s loss was just… bleh. A regular grinch who stole Christmas.

Now the totally understandable surge of tweets begging for the reunion of Jack and Jeff that unfolded after this game felt like they were forgetting Victor Olofsson. I suppose we do need to see what he can do without Jack centering his line for a prolonged sample size, sure. But that’s not really what you might be apt to take coming out of this game. Like we’ve felt since before fucking Memorial Day: a trade is due here. One top six winger pushes this team to a place where they have some sustainability on the scoring front. This trade has to happen. I would hate it being for a center at this point though those are harder to get! Johansson has done a fine job in the 2C role, but we all know eventually he has to go back to wing, right? We sent Casey Mittelstadt down to Rochester. Johansson was visibly struggling in this game and its hard not to see how that contributed to his game-ending mistake. One more guy, Jason. I know you got some deals on deck. Take them off the back-burner and do them now. Give us a Christmas present. Even with this loss the Sabres are in a divisional playoff spot ahead of the Leafs. Perhaps the Sabres are higher up on the pecking order than they deserve but how about not? Why not this team? Why not go for the playoffs this year? I know you have a long-range plan looking toward the summer, Jason, but come on, these guys can make the playoffs with just a tiny bit more help. At this rate Jack might just drag them there; don’t make him do that. Send in reinforcements.

Now off to a Philadelphia Flyers team flying high on Gritty’s white dust tomorrow. Sure, that looks like a tough game but allow me to introduce you to a new thought. Us Sabres fans are always waiting for the wheels to come off. We look for it and when it happens we feel satisfied in that we predicted it would happen with the same old Sabres. But what if there was another question fans could ask that was less negative all the time. Here’s a clue: I’ve already asked it in this postgame. Instead of predicting how the wheels will come off here’s a new question to ask: WHY NOT? It’s better shouted than spoken. WHY NOT? Why not this team this season? Why not playoffs? Why not us? We’ve learned to ask this question with the Buffalo Bills this season as they’ve put together a nice record and made their playoffs. Let’s start asking it with the Sabres. Why not the Buffalo Sabres? Why not us? Well, how about you like, share and comment on this blog. The Bills making the playoffs give the Sabres a little cover for now. We’re a bit less grumpy about a loss to the Leafs than we normally would be, eh? I’m here for it. Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for Reading.

P.S. Tre White using his alma mater slot to say “Tre White Goalie Academy” has to put a smile on Carter Hutton’s face, right? Don’t we think Hutton could use some smiles these days?

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 69 - DAL - Nice

Writing these is starting to get easier. It was fun before it became clear this team wasn’t making the playoffs. Then these last several weeks, really since the New Year has been excruciating. I’m saying this now, but Carolina is next and that may make me hate passionately again. For tonight we have the 69th game of this season to talk about. NNNNIIIICCCCCEEEE. The big storylines going into this one other than the teamwork number were Jack Eichel’s suspension and Alex Nylander’s call up. Feeling the lack of Jack in this game was kind of like taking your pants off and getting upset you feel a breeze. It’s over and we all know it, Jack can’t save us now. One of my favorite Sabres follows on twitter compared watching this team right now to the height of his days smoking weed. He just feels so lethargic he’s basically immune to stimuli watching this club right now. It’s hard to not relate to that. Not the smoking weed part, but to each his own I guess. The lethargic part is relatable while also being so beyond disappointing. How many times have we said it? They won ten games straight and now they’re missing the playoffs. They’re the second team ever to do that. Remember when we were pausing discos and shouting in bars over this team? Feels like a lifetime ago. Well I suppose feeling bored was only going to get worse against the Dallas Stars who have been dominating the goals against category all season. The Stars have fought their way out of the giant pack of loitering playoff contenders out west to look vaguely sure about the playoffs right now. I love to hate the Stars, perhaps they’re our Carolina Hurricanes of the West, but they pose great fodder for a better team we want to win to dispatch in the first two rounds. Take your boring, low-scoring hockey into the playoffs and lose to Winnipeg. The trash talk maybe worthless considering this dull Sabres team listing into the offseason effortlessly. The Stars are simply the better team. They shutout Buffalo 1-0 in the last matchup and 2-0 tonight just about fits.

The first period was fun enough to hold me; mind you I am a little bit of a Sabres whack job. There were a few fun rushes, a breakaway here and there. Sam Reinhart is the dynamic this team needs more of but of course he had to wait until now to prove it. I’m trying to think about who else jumped out at me in the first period, but I just keep coming back to penalties. The penalties jumped out at me in the first period. There were four, two against each team in the first period and I wanted to be engaged in them so badly. But as each Buffalo man-advantage ticked away that familiar feeling crept right back: missed opportunity. That’s the whole season isn’t it missed opportunity. Speaking of missed opportunities: Alexander Nylander! Nope, I’m saving him for after the recap, I just couldn’t resist that setup. The second period however, started like there was some kick. I don’t know where it came from, if Phil Housley is kicking them in the pants now I don’t know where it’s been for three months. See the funny thing about this game, the thing that could have roused you out of your catatonic Sabres state but surely didn’t, was that Buffalo outshot the opposition. Maybe home ice advantage is just worth more shots with this team. The shots were clearly there and most of them were fun too. Skinner hit the intersection of the crossbar and post and a couple guys threw up they’re hands for a moment thinking it was a goal. Figures. The Sabres are now on a big old five game losing streak and even Skinner can’t help us now. The win for the Stars was assured before the third period even began. One goal was a saucy lift far side on Linus Ullmark and the other was a shot from way out at the blue line. Both goals were by the same guy: Roope Hintz. If you think that name is fake I’ll remind you Finland exists. Hintz went in the second round of Eichel’s 2015 Draft and would you believe me if I said the guy is a -10? Plus/minus is a worthless stat: sometimes you get proof. The Stars held on in the third and this one ends 2-0 visitors. Whatever. Game 69: NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE NIIIIIIIICCCCCCEEEEEE!!! Ugh, that felt a little nice.

Let’s talk about Alex Nylander. Remember when we declared him a lost cause at the end of last season? Remember when Jason Botterill sat him down at the Prospect Tournament way back in September and then he caught fire? Remember when he didn’t make the NHL roster out of camp anyway? He’s 21 now and the apology I gave him for not believing he would prove himself at Training Camp now seems like a distant memory. He played with no urgency tonight. That sounds like a generic complaint and it is because I read it on twitter forty times since the game ended but I say prove it to me again! The thing is Nylander was doing good in Rochester, at least lately he has. Watching his development down there has been an evolution of finding his stride. He took a little while, but he’s found his way down there and was beginning to contribute at a decent clip. Does he just take this long to find his way into a system? Gee, I hope not. That would be a big problem but then again he is only 21 and tonight was against one of the better defensive teams in the league. But then again, he was taken in the first round and there’s already no way that pick will feel right with who else went in the first round that year. I side more with the people who thinks he needs to be something soon or get the Guhle treatment. I hate to say that because sometimes it takes some time for a player to become the player they can be but look at the Justin Bailey trade. That hurt, he had real potential at one point but the he had become nothing more than an AHL regular and only ok in that role at that. He left in an AHL deal that brought in Taylor Leier who is now a strategic part of an Americans team getting hot at just the right time. That may seem like a weird comparison but tell me one reason Alexander Nylander isn’t the new Justin Bailey right now? Go ahead, I’ll wait. The bottom line is Nylander needs to figure it out now or he WILL be next season’s Justin Bailey. Hell, he might be this summer’s Justin Bailey.

I just wrote a whole paragraph on Alexander Nylander in March. Yay. I teased you with some Amerks talk there and it looks like our last Amerks Angle of the regular season will be shaping up soon. I need to wait until at least after this weekend. Rochester is taking on the League leading Charlotte Checkers in a back-to-back that has revenge potential and the possibility of catapulting our Amerks to the top of the league standings! More on that in Amerks Angle. For now, we have to contemplate how this matchup with the Hurricanes won’t be the most oppressive fucking game in a month. I’m not hopeful but now I at least feel like I can handle it relatively painlessly. Like, share and comment and we can sail down this home stretch together.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Are they tanking now? I think they’re tanking a little bit. Draft rankings time?

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 61 - WSH - Reino and the Hot Zombie

This team is confounding. 0 points in the standings in three straight against non-playoff teams NYR, NJD and FLA followed by 3 points in the standings in two games against TBL and WSH. John Vogl, who makes the subscription to the Athletic worth it on his own, summed it up really well: “This is the first time they’ve been [a good team and a really bad one] both in the same year.” That really is the kicker here. We want playoffs now because they were so good in November that not making the playoffs is more statistically shocking than making it. But really, we knew what they were, right? Talented but inconsistent and likely bound to be a bubble team this year. There’s a lot of feels bound up in that but yesterday afternoon saw the defeated Sabres limp back in to town before putting up a November Sabres performance. This time they even got the W! There’s a lot to get to so let’s get Playoff trash talk out of the way: Washington, considering how close the Columbus Blue Jackets were to eliminating you in the first round last postseason I think Sabres fans have reason for optimism if they ended up trapped in a series with you Caps for 4-7 games. Just like the Sabres the Caps are an on or off kind of team only you guys have guys who have direct access to the switch and turn it on command. That said, a first round playoff series would be so much fun watching Ovechkin and Ristolainen pester each other non-stop. Man-to-man stuff like that and the Caps propensity to choke on lesser teams moves the needle for Buffalo: Sabres in 6! The Sabres played like they were in a playoff race yesterday afternoon and there was a lot going on here that might make you forget they’re six points out of a playoff spot with 21 games left to play. I don’t even know where to get started with this game, but I guess the first period makes sense.

After gaining the initial push, the Caps were pushed back in the first period. The Sabres outshot the Caps in this period and the one big stark difference between this game and one like Florida is that they completed passes awfully well this game. It was two of said awfully good passes that led to Jason Pominville scoring a goal right in front of Braden Holtby at 3:40 into the first. Backpass-backpass-tap in. Pominville can be like an old friend from High School: you enjoy hanging out with him most of the time but if he isn’t put in the right situation for him, he’s kind of an embarrassing drag. Well as Dan Dunleavy pointed out, Pominville really clicks when he, Eichel and Skinner are on their game. The Sabres played chippy and aggressive this game and managed to peel pucks off the Caps pretty successfully in the neutral zone. That’s essentially what happened at 12:51 of the first when the puck got skyed to Evan Rodriguez who made a tight pass through traffic to Sam Reinhart who was at that point, basically on a breakaway. Samson shot it top shelf over Holtby’s shoulder, and it was 2-0 early in this game. I was not even in Buffalo but all the folks who went to this game live must have been happy this wasn’t another rout. The crazy thing is it never really looked like it had potential to be one. The second period was certainly the Caps strongest period and it only got them one Ovi goal, and one that wasn’t even one of his better ones at that. Rasmus Dahlin’s eighth goal (on the powerplay) was a more traditional Ovechkin goal, it came from the far end of the right circle and he just fired a bullet. That goal was in the final minute of the middle frame but what came between the two goals this period was a sustained Caps push that miraculously did not yield the tying goal. I was real proud of Carter Hutton’s quick reflexes and a generally sounder defensive scheme functioning properly again. The most notable thing in this period wasn’t one of the goals though or even that the Sabres got one on the powerplay: no Jeff Skinner made the high drama in this period.

Our boy Jeff didn’t score a goal, but he did stop all our hearts like a horrified hockey mom when he fell to the ice in agony. It was more or less a routine battle for positioning with new Capital Carl Hagelin when Skinner got tied up and went up onto the tip of his skate. What followed was something you tag NSFW or warn someone before you show it. Skinner’s ankle turns the entirely wrong way and it looks like all his body weight just pushes his ankle in the opposite direction as his foot. It gives you the shivers watching it. The emotion was immediately in the home crowd who were rather quiet as Skinner tried to crawl to the bench before getting helped there. He disappeared into the tunnel and if this team’s playoff odds weren’t already just about fucked you probably felt that way seeing that injury. Here’s the wackiest part of the story though: it was not an injury. In postgame Jeff talked about it like he had just been gently bumped on the head. “Oh yeah, at first you just hurt and you’re trying to figure out why.” That’s not a direct quote, I kind of gave him a funny voice as I typed that. The Sabres were up 3-1 to start the third and who shows up on the ice other than a fully mobile Jeff Skinner. He made plays, got some shots and took faceoffs as if he didn’t just die. The crowd went wild for it! I’m not a big wrestling fan but I imagine its like when John Cena surprises the audience and runs into the ring. Back from the dead like a fucking cute ass zombie, Jeff Skinner helped facilitate the final period and a Sabres regulation win. Andre Burakovsky fired a rocket through traffic to get the visitors within 1 and you begin to feel like you’ve seen this show before: this must be the collapse we’ve come to expect.

No sir, hardly a minute later Sam Reinhart redirect a Matt Hunwick shot into the Caps net. I was listening on the radio at this point and Dunleavy sort of made it sound like Hunwick got the goal which would be the weirdest turn of events going into this Leafs game Monday night. It was Reino and you could tell Jack Eichel’s best friend was on a warpath this game. Jack Eichel himself nearly made it five goals when he sailed right in front of the Caps net a few minutes later. You would think the Caps would still have some fight here, especially considering how the two prior matchups in our Nation’s Capital went back in December, but these final minutes saw more Sabres chances. Apart from one scary melee in front of Hutton there was hardly a moment it really looked like the visitors would climb back into this one… the Stanley Cup Champion visitors mind you. It was after the champs’ net was empty when Sam Reinhart, all the way down on Hutton’s red line, fired one down ice that couldn’t be stopped by John Carlson. An empty net goal to make it 5-2 and Sam Reinhart’s third career hat trick sealed the deal for Buffalo. Reino scoring a hatty and Jeff Skinner rising from the dead like Easter made this game a notably enjoyable game in this stretch of Sabres games. It broke the three-game losing streak and hopefully provides a pretty decent confidence boost for a lagging team considering once again that these are the defending Stanley Cup champions they beat. As much as a win against the Leafs Monday night would be absolutely delightful it will take four more of these wins pretty much in a row before I allow myself to talk playoffs again; but that’s okay because this game was well-played and fun enough on its own. Hell, the Beauts won too, later in the afternoon, against their league’s defending champs as well!

I’ve mentioned it twice already but once again it’s a trip to Toronto Monday night followed by a trip to Gritty’s house in Philadelphia Tuesday night. Sure, we didn’t get Duchene but hell, if there is any new player in the blue and gold for this game against the Leafs and it’s the win you kind of expect in Toronto then maybe this disappointed hockey town called Buffalo will have some spring in its step again. Even if there’s no move, which is probably more likely at this point, doesn’t a win against Toronto just make you that much more excited for Sabres hockey? Either way: comment, like and share this blog with your friends. Yes, February Amerks Angle will be up very soon and yes, I got something else coming out on the blog too that could be fun. Keep your eyes open and remain emotionally available, friends. The fun part of the dance may likely be over at this point, but you don’t want to be the first one to call your ride either, right? Let’s Go Buffalo!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. If you don’t think those Flyers and Penguins jerseys for the stadium series game were the ugliest monsters on the ice than you’re either a graphic designer or have an eye for chaos. Those uniforms were ugly top to bottom.

[andrewuttaro]

New Look Sabres: GM 53 - CAR - Chasing Two

We meet again, Canes of Carolina. Your 53 is our 53 now as we meet for the 53rd game of the season. We already did playoff trash talk for the Canes but I got a feeling there will be more coming down the stretch here. Why do we hate the Hurricanes so much right now? The Skinner stuff is behind us and I suspect his extension will soon be as well. It’s probably the gull of a team as consistently bad as Carolina, perhaps longer than Buffalo has been bad, deciding this is the season to get in our fucking way. Unless one of Pittsburgh, Boston or Montreal hits the skids real hard down the stretch it’s you, me and Columbus for the one wildcard spot left in the East. So fuck you Carolina: this Sabres team has been shit for a solid two months straight but whatever hope I can muster that they still got a chance at the playoffs this year I will sharpen into a fine shiv and run into this cage match with. That hope could have died tonight. For some of you reading this it may have. This game was about chasing two straight wins – two straight wins which would be this club’s first two wins in a row since December. Perhaps they ultimately didn’t get there because they were doing too much chasing so to speak. But what occurred last night was not the performance of a club accepting its fate and tapping out of the playoff race. What happened last night was enough to make the Spartans at Thermopylae proud. Sure, once you explained ice hockey to them and they observed it long enough to understand what being good at it looks like they may have had some thoughts on the Sabres first period and most of their third; but CHIN UP I say to you! Chin up because this Sabres club is not going down without a fight! Honey, we’re going down swinging!  

The Carolina Hurricanes came out shooting like lax southern gun laws to start the first: every puck that a Sabre was not on was scooped up by Hurricane and blown into the zone closest to Linus Ullmark (Thanks Coach, I knew you would make the right goalie decision). The Canes did what any team who watches this Buffalo club knows is the Sabres biggest weakness as of late: turnovers, unforced and not. The team from south of the Mason-Dixon Line capitalized in this brutal stretch when North Carolina’s favorite soft boy Sebastian Aho served up the juiciest pass from behind the net to a streaking Justin Faulk. Ullmark couldn’t get to the other post in time and Faulk buried it. Well beach bodies: up here in New York we got this thing called ice, the game is actually played on it. What followed shortly after the Faulk goal was a penalty on definitely-moonlighting-as-a-vampire Jaccob Slavin which led to a powerplay for the home team that froze Carolina up like a Buffalo Ice Storm. The powerplay was fruitless but the Sabres poured shots on Curtis McElhinney for the rest of the period. Teuvo Teravainen tallied a second goal for Carolina early in the second period. At this point in the night I’m listening to the game on the radio driving up the 190. WGR 550 has these musical interludes as the broadcast returns from break and at this 2-0 dire moment in the second period one of those interludes was a section of “Slide” by Goo Goo Dolls. My throat got real dry and I shed a tear. Is it because I’m an emotional wreck paying attention to the Sabres these days? NO! But a good guess. NO, it’s because I visualized the playoffs like Jack tells us to and I felt it slipping away! But then what happened? Jack’s team came back.

HUT HUT, FIND A HOLE! The McElhinney wall has to come down! FIND A HOLE! Ristolainen from the line: save; puck to Conor Sheary in front: save; puck to Evan Rodriguez who holds and sweeps that puck into the hole like the beautiful Canadian Sniper he is! Now the Canes really froze up like they’d never seen ice before because seven minutes later resident Dad-Bod Jason Pominville collected his own rebound and tapped an equalizer past McElhinney. Tie game you fair weather mother fuckers! Believe it or not it’s hot here for a couple months in each year and you know what I spend that time doing? Oh, not going to the playoffs? You’re funny: you’re a real piece of work for giving more of a shit about NASCAR than the variable 1970s strong man competition of a gun show y’all have for a lineup! Oh, but when hockey players clap a little and slide down the ice into the goal like it’s a slip-and-slide after wins all you guys come running to the arena! I hope y’all don’t make the playoffs just because you’re a bunch of fucking ungrateful slow talkers who like Duke! The game was tied! It was tied going into the third! And then what happened? Well: a relative menagerie of frat-boy-looking Hurricanes capitalized on the Sabres doing Sabres things like turning over the puck and chasing it around like they’re fishing catch-and-release! First it was wrestling team captain and beer-pong champion of the Carolinas Greg McKegg who polished in a loose puck behind Ullmark after being giving ten fucking years to put it in and still bounced it off the post! Then Jeff Skinner had a fucking hulk moment and realized the profundity of the situation he was in and flew off on a breakaway to guide the puck in like a clumsy baby giraffe. Oh no, I know it was art. Please sign soon, Jeff.

Stop those warm feelings for sweet sweet Jeffery because Fergus, Ontario’s High School Quarterback and favorite ginger son Brock McGinn cleaned up a Jordan Martinook rebound right in front of Ullmark to get the visitors ahead 4-3. Do they even have American Football in small town Ontario? Whatever because here comes the President of the punchable face club Nino Niederreiter to capitalize on the powerplay and put the Canes up 5-3 with five minutes left in regulation. Now here is really the moment when I realized this team isn’t going down without a fight: down by two goals (again, which is a concerning problem all its own) this team did not quit. Jeff Skinner emerged from the box beaten but not defeated. But before he gets his time against his former team it’s time for irony to a drop kick you in the balls. Marco Scandella, in a move that will certainly earn him starts for the rest of the season over far more deserving defensemen, gets the puck from Sam Reinhart and shoots low. The puck went in and it was a one goal game now. Irony has a name and it is Marco Scandella. Perhaps it was too late as time now ticked into the double digits in regulation with the Sabres down by one. Guess who you butter-binging, Trump-voting motherfuckers: JEFF MOTHER FUCKING SKINNER! Collect the puck, toe drag, bender: tie Game! It’s like the third act of fucking Miracle beating the team in the red jersey! There was 56 seconds left on the clock! This one goes to OT. And there, well there Teuvo Teravainen streaks into the Sabres defensive zone 2-on-0 and dekes out Ullmark for the game winner. That’s the way the cookie crumbles in this league: one good rush in OT and it’s all over. Carolina wins 6-5.

The Chase for Two straight wins falls flat; but you know what didn’t fall flat? Yea, the Buffalo Sabres. Yeah, they really stunk up most of the third and looked like they were playing hot potato with the puck for most of the first but you know what: that was one hell of a comeback, two if we’re counting game deficits here. Imagine Jeff Skinner pots the OT winner for a hat trick and the Sabres get two points out of this game instead of just one. It’s a whole different conversation then, isn’t it? I’m not rationalizing the many mistakes or playing the what-if game. I’m calling the glass half full and I don’t know about you but I’m not holding my breath tomorrow waiting for Jason Botterill to make a trade as if 95% of the trades he could reasonably make would have any effect on this team down the stretch. We got what we got right now folks and trust me; I am dying for the playoffs too. What happened last night was not nothing and we didn’t get nothing for it either. Carolina, you better watch your back because we’re breathing down it and every game between now and March 16th is going to be an assault on your chances to take that spot from Columbus. The Sabres can certainly get three points out of this weekend’s two matchups and Carolina only has one game in that same stretch so there’s a scenario where we’re sitting here Monday morning and the Sabres are 1 point back of that playoff spot and ahead of Carolina again. Yea, I’m not broken yet and neither should you be. Honey, we’re going down swinging.

Of course everyone in the locker room is going to be disappointed with that result and that emotion is good even if Savior Sam is misdirecting it at Ullmark. Phil Housley was the only postgame interview I was at all embarrassed by. He’s the one misusing players out the wazoo and throwing forward line combinations at Velcro board and seeing what sticks. Put out your best lineup, Phil. This is the team now and I’m not saying it is good enough to make the playoffs having won 9 of its last 28 games but teams not good enough make the playoffs all the time, you can ask New Jersey about that. And I refuse to hop on the locomotive of self-loathing Sabres twitter seems to be on. This game just gave me too much to chew on. Well like, comment and share this blog even if you think I am insane. With this team: sometimes I feel like it. This frickin team! They hurt me over and over and lord knows I’ll still be watching them at my in-laws this weekend. This frickin eternally ass team: Oh the shit I would do for a playoff berth. OH THE SHIT I WOULD DO! Go Sabres! If they make it by one point this game is going to be my masterpiece. Oh god I need them to make the playoffs. Go Sabres! I’m going to repeat it like I’m trying to remember it: Go Sabres! Go Sabres! Don’t go breaking my heart.

Thanks for reading.

P.S. Sara Civ is a great follow on twitter. She is one of the better hockey beat reporters out there and if it weren’t for her covering that frickin team I’d probably be mentioning her more.