#this is quite literally the first time i can evaluate a seminar being not only unhelpful for my studies

[tardis--dreams]

Am i contributing to the seminar discussion? No. But do you even Know how much effort it costs me to not just pass out at any given moment. Just be glad I showed up to your 3 people seminar at all

[forever-tourism-pvt-ltd]

Ever Wondered Why You Need A 100 days visit Visa Dubai, UAE? Before Applying make sure to whom the visa is for, Rules and regulations, Types of UAE visas.

Dubai is a city that literally has the world at its fingertips. It has culture, technology, business, dining options and shopping all in one place! In keeping with its progressive attitude towards the development of infrastructure, Dubai offers visa-free travel for several nationalities including those from the United States, Australia and Europe. This makes it an extremely desirable location for those wishing to study abroad or make a short trip to do some sightseeing! Dubai brings you closer to your world. It has been named one of the most visited cities in the world, and for good reason: something new and exciting is continually taking place. Whether you're visiting for business or pleasure Dubai offers a variety of Dubai visas that make the process smoother; we'll guide you through how to get them and what is required of you when obtaining them! Dubai, United Arab Emirates – has been called a wonderland for tourists and boasted as the absolute best tourist destination. It’s easy to see why – Dubai has recently welcomed approximately 20 million visitors each year! However, one of the most frequently asked questions is - how do I get a UAE visa to enter Dubai? , What are types of Dubai visa? What the new Dubai 100 days visa? How to obtain 100 Days Dubai visa? Well this article will provide you with simple steps on how to apply for a Dubai Visa online quickly and easily and all about 100 Days Dubai visit visa online quickly and easily!

100 Days Dubai Tourist visa

100-days Dubai Tourist Visa: This is perfect for those planning a vacation in Dubai or the UAE who want some downtime to kick back and catch up with loved ones. Dubai is a wonderful place because its Arabic architecture combines with ultra-modern design you don't see much in other places today. Its stunning view is a joy to behold, which makes it incredibly attractive as one of the most exciting cities to visit in the Middle East. Dubai also happens to be an incredibly safe city, with 0% crime rate - because there's nothing TO steal or mug or what have you! Making it practically impossible to get into any dangerous situations you might have imagined at some point beforehand while not completely precluding that something bad might happen anyway. Just because you are traveling to have fun doesn't mean you should let down your guard. While some people assume it's easier to travel with their guard down, this winds up placing too much emphasis on one's identity and possessions, leading to someone becoming the victim of theft or some other crime while they go about having fun in a new location. This is where our Dubai visa specialist comes into play. If you need help contacting government officials for important papers, our professional will ensure that these tasks are done easily without all of the stress that comes along with dealing with local bureaucrats!

100 Days Dubai visa is 90 days already, as per the UAE immigration announcement that states 30 days Dubai visa holders and Dubai 90-day visa holders will automatically get the grace period for 10 days without any penalty. It's truly great to know if you're planning to go on vacation to the UAE that it may be beneficial for you to do some extra research about which type of 100 day tourist visa (and if necessary, for how long) will benefit your specific needs. In order to know if you'll need a visit visa for Dubai, it's important to make sure you've retrieved from your calendar when exactly you plan on going. We understand that it's our job at [company name] to provide helpful information such as the best kind of visa needed for your travel habits and how long it might be valid for. We will also let you know that a visit visa granted in Dubai is actually one that can last up to 100 days! Forever Tourism is a leading Dubai-based tourism company. We strive to serve our clients with regards to Dubai visa services. If you are looking for a good writer specializing in visa structure, we could also help your global customers get their tourist visa for Dubai. We recognize the challenges our clients face when applying for a tourist visa for Dubai and staying up to date with the current global strategies and regulations that govern immigration laws, including visas and residence rights. This is because we take into consideration traditional immigration issues including worldwide conditions that impact movements of people and the business need and the competitive advantages to companies in sectors such as consumer brands and retail. Forever Tourism is a name that you can trust when it comes to getting a Dubai visa. We'll serve as a reliable guide to navigating the application process and help you avoid any inconvenient mishaps along the way so you can have an amazing time in Dubai!

All About Dubai visa

Travelling is a blast, but getting to your chosen destination can sometimes be a bit of a hassle. Fortunately, going to Dubai is quite easy and super fun! The best part about a trip to Dubai is that it requires little planning once you know that you're going there. And aside from planning out your flight, hotel accommodations and activities, you also have to make sure you get your visa in order to get into the country. Being the popular tourist hub it apparently is, obtaining your Dubai visa for Dubai was made significantly easier because online applications were made available recently. These days, however, not all tourists are accessing the website where they can apply for their UAE visas for Dubai … so we'll help take some of the mystery out of this formerly confusing process … just read on! Visiting Dubai as a traveler can be a bit daunting at first, especially with an impending language barrier and unfamiliar laws but don't worry – Forever Tourism, one of the best travel agency of Dubai, UAE have released guides that explain how to get a UAE tourist visa or 100 days Dubai Tourist visa!

Documents required for 100 days Dubai visit visa:

·         Applicants’ colored scanned copy of  Documents :

·         Passport required (Bio Page and Last page )

·         Minimum of 6 months of validity of passport required

·         Latest passport size photograph (white background)

Guarantor’s Document:

Relative or a friend who is currently based in Dubai for work or as resident in UAE can be called as a Guarantor

·         Scanned colored passport copy

·         Scanned resident visa copy with minimum 3months validity

·         Scanned Emirates I.D copy

Additional Documents for Visitors with NO Guarantor in UAE

·         Confirmed Hotel booking

·         Confirmed Return ticket booking

·         Tour itinerary copy

Dubai visa and Dubai visa Category

There are lots of different types of visas available for people who wish to visit the United Arab Emirates. We'll evaluate each type so that you can decide which one is most appropriate for your trip.

Duration of Stay

Visa Validity from the  date of issue

Visa Type

Extendable

Entry

Business meetings/  en-route journey stopover

96 Hours

58 days

Visit

No

Single

Business Visits

14 Days

58 days

Tourist

No

Single

Business Visits

30 Days

58 days

Tourist

10 Days

Single

Vacation, Business  training

90 Days

58 days

Long Term Visit –  Single Entry Tourist

10 Days

Single

Meetings/Seminars/Exhibitions

180 Days Multiple Visa

58 days

Visit

No

Multiple

Business Personnel,  Students

Multi-Entry Short Term  Visa- 30 Days

58 days

Multi-Entry Short-Term  Visa

No

Multiple

Tourists, Business  Meetings

Multi-Entry Short Term  Visa- 90 Days

58 days

Long Term Visit  Multiple Entry

No

Multiple

Tourists, Business  Meetings, Exhibitions

 How to apply 100 days Dubai visa online?

The smartest way to get a visa in Dubai is by applying through Forever Tourism. Why? Because it's easy, takes only 5 minutes to apply online, and you don't have to spend any extra time looking for the right paperwork. We will even help you gather all of the required documents because at the end of the day your documents are our documents too, so we care about getting them submitted properly! just share the required documents via email or WhatsApp Dubaivisa@forevertourism.com/00971526422120.

Cost for Dubai Visa

The cost of a Dubai visa depends on the type of visa applied for and the duration of the visa. Different types of visas have different prices.

For more information kindly contact via email or WhatsApp Dubaivisa@forevertourism.com/00971526422120. 

Website:https://www.forevertourism.com/100-days-visa-in-dubai/

[cityinmars-blog]

[video]

Learning How to Learn Seminar Series - 2017

Thinking About Your Thinking

The goal of this seminar is to show students how to learn deeply and  efficiently. 

“The most important thing you can learn in university is learning how to learn.”

 No matter what you do in the future, whether you decide to pursue graduate studies or enter the work force, there is a 99.9% chance that it will require on the spot learning. 

“The most valuable thing you can ever do is know how you personally best learn”.

It is not enough to learn, you need to figure out how to learn deeply. 

Topics: 

Studying vs Learning

Levels of Learning

High school vs Post-secondary mathematics.

How to study for problems that require the top levels of learning?

Your educational goals

Conclusion

  Studying vs Learning

  Q: What is the difference between studying and learning? 

  Q: Do you believe there is no difference between studying and learning?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

According to Merriam-Webster: Learning is knowledge or skill acquired by instruction or study. Studying is the activity or process of learning about something by reading, memorizing facts, etc. 

Q: What is something that you’ve learned but never studied? 

Studying is one of the avenues for learning. “Studying can help us learn, but in many cases it is not even required to do learning. Theoretically, we should be studying to help us learn - that means studying in the right way and studying the right things.  

Q: Are you guaranteed to do well on a test if you have studied lots?

Q: Are you guaranteed to do well on a test if you have learned lots?

Both do not guarantee you are going to perform well on a test. 

“The most common problem: students think they have really learned the material well, but it is not until they receive their results that they discover that they have not learned the material to the level of expectations of their professor”.

 Levels of Learning

Blooms Taxonomy (Revised)  [1] [2] [3]

https://wp0.vanderbilt.edu/cft/guides-sub-pages/blooms-taxonomy/

The levels of learning as they pertain to mathematics: 

The levels of learning from the most basic is remembering, understanding, applying, analyzing, evaluating, and to the highest level of understanding, creating. 

Remembering: The most basic form of learning is remembering. “Just have it memorized!” 

A question on a test at the remembering level would be: State the fundamental theorem of calculus.

Understanding: Being able to use a definition or a theorem in some very simple way. To perform calculations for example. 

A question on a test at this level would be: Take the derivative of this function using the product rule. Find the eigenvalues of this matrix. 

Applying: Applying some known algorithm or using definitions or theorems in a new but very simple way.

Questions at the applying level would be like curve sketching questions in calculus. Where you have a whole set of steps you need to do to solve the question. 

Analyzing:  ‘I like the analyzing level. The analyzing level is a type of question where after the midterm, the student comes up to me and says, “You didn’t teach me how to do that!!!”, and I say, “You’re right!!! Welcome to University!!!”

Analyzing Level: Looking at a new problem and using the content you’ve learned to solve this new problem. While the question might look unfamiliar, it’s solution requires the techniques you have learned over the semester. 

The analyzing level could also include types of questions where you have to decide on a particular method. For instance, integration problems where you have to pick one of many different techniques of integration. It requires you to look carefully at the problem and then decide what you need to do from there. 

Evaluating: “Often true or false problems, where the answer isn’t simple. Where you really have to think carefully about definitions or theorems to evaluate whether it is true or false. Questions at this level might require you to evaluate a large amount of data and make a prediction”. 

Creating: PROOFS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Note: A question is not at the “create level” just because it has the word prove or proof in it. It is possible to have lower level proof questions. For example, if your professor tells you to memorize a proof. A question involving this proof on your test would be at the remembering level. 

“Creating questions are when you really have to synthesize lots of different definitions and theorems to create a new proof or a new method for solving a type of problem. 

High school vs Post-secondary mathematics. 

Q: What levels of learning were required in your high school (hs)courses to get really good grades?

“The vast majority of questions in hs math tests are solely from the bottom three levels.”

In university, all the levels of learning are required for students to succeed.

Most students start blaming themselves or their study habits when they struggle in their transition from highschool to university/college mathematics, as oppose to realizing that it’s not them or the course. The problem is that that they are still preparing for tests and exams the same way that they did in high school. 

How to study for exams that require the top levels of learning?

You need to understand the questions at the lower levels to understand questions at the higher levels. 

“Before you can solve higher level questions, you must be able to solve lower level questions. You are going to have a great difficult time applying something if you don’t even know what it is. So, first and foremost, all of those high school study techniques are still valuable and good, you still need them to do well. We now just need to add on top of them”. 

Study Techniques for the lower level. 

“How do you study to memorize things?”

Repeated repetition.

Cue cards

Asking friends to test you, or testing yourself. 

Teaching someone

Using some sort of mnemonic (exs: Bedmas, SOH CAH TOA, ASTC (all students take calculus)) or other device to remember something. 

Study techniques for questions in the understanding/applying levels. 

Practice questions

Look at old examples

****Note: ‘If you are working on a practice problem, and get stuck, and then just look at the solution, and go, “I know how to do that :) “. NO YOU DON’T :(  If you knew it, you wouldn’t have had to look at the solution! Be careful that you are not just trying to memorize the problems, but that you can solve them on your own.’

*****Also avoid just watching someone do the calculations. 

Top Level Study Strategies

We need different techniques to solve higher level problems. For example, you cannot  employ the repeated practice technique to study for  questions at the creating level. “How do you repeated practice a problem you’ve never seen before?”

The strategies:

Look at someone else’s solution and try to critique it (evaluating level). Trying to decide if someone else’s argument is correct. 

Look at tricky problems and try to generate your own problems (creating level).  Ask yourself more in-depth type questions and literally try to create your own tricky test problems. “When you start asking yourself good questions. What would happen if I changed this? What would happen if this number was a 5? Not only are you going to be thinking more deeply about the material, but you might actually start anticipating test questions”. 

Course Maps: Looking at the topics in a course and seeing how they are related. “Once you start doing this, you will start making connections to other courses and that will help your understanding of the topics”. 

Discussing with your peers. Work in a group! 

“Peer discussions are often better than discussing with your professor.”

“You have to justify your own solutions, and explain it a lot more carefully.”

“Your fellow classmates will have questions that you might or might not be able to answer, and vice versa ( if you’re the one with the answers, this will ensure that you understand a question. Or if you don’t understand, it means you have more learning to do).”

‘You will have to think more critically about what your peers says over your professor. Students typically think their professors are speaking the truth. If you are learning from a peer, you might question a little bit more. There might be a lot more of, “ uh that doesn’t sound right to me”. It forces you to understand at the evaluating level, because it is quite difficult to  critically evaluate whether someone else’s argument is correct or false.’

“If you have problems writing your proofs, start analyzing other people’s proofs. You will find that this makes it easier to write your own proofs, because not only will you have seen what other people do well or not so well, but it’s going to give you that thought process of critically evaluating every step you do”. 

“Therefore, study groups are the best way of studying problems at the higher level.”

Every student in the group can bring one or two questions so that the group can make a mock test for each student to solve individually. Once this is done, the individual test should be passed around for marking. 

Note about bad study habits: Avoid solving problems in the text book in chronological order. For example, starting with section 1, then section 2 problems and so on.

 Reasons to stop solving problems chronologically: 

1. The material is still fresh in your mind. 

2. When you are in a certain section, you know what methods you should be using to solve the problems. If you are in the integration by parts chapter, you know what you should be doing. On a test, the problems will not be in order, nor will the section from which the problem was taken from be specified. One of trickiest parts of a test is analyzing or evaluating what method you should be using to solve questions. If you are already in a particular section, you already figured that out, or it’s been told to you. So the question is now at the applying level. 

Summary: 

Use group work for top level problems. Do not be afraid to ask your peers questions, or teach them something they don’t know. This will make those hard test questions easier.

Still revise and practice questions at the lower levels

Your Goals

For the hardest math or cs course that you are taking this term, what grade would you like to achieve in that course?

“Aim for the stars, and if you only reach the moon, hey, you’ve reached the moon.”

There is no excuse why you shouldn’t be aiming for the highest grade. While you might not actually receive the best grade; it should be your goal. Don’t shortchange yourself. You are capable. If you limit yourself, you’ve put a cap on yourself. Do as much as you can. Learn as much as you can. Work very hard. 

This requires very good and effective time management, lots of hard work, and good learning skills. As well as support from your peers, professors and TAs.

Work towards the higher levels. Figure out what level you are at (if you are working on a problem set and find that you have to look at the solutions, or get help from a professor, TA, or a friend, then you are probably not at the higher levels yet), and what you have to do to advance. 

‘Every time you are studying, look at the type of question you are doing and ask, “Where does that question fall on the chart? And can I do that on my own without help. If so, yay! Now how can I get to the next level.” ’

Conclusion

You must achieve the lower levels of learning before you can obtain the higher levels. 

Always try to critically evaluate where your level of learning is. The technical term for this is called meta cognition. 

[schraubd]

What Eight Great Teachers Taught Me About Teaching

Last night, I was reflecting on how lucky I was to have had so many great teachers in my life. From pre-K to post-12, I've been blessed to have had an overwhelmingly positive educational experience. My time as an official student isn't quite over yet, but it is winding down, and soon I will be a full-fledged member of the teacher's side of the podium. So I thought I'd share some of what I've learned about teaching from my very best teachers. * * * Ms. Curry: Elementary school is a pretty fuzzy memory at this stage, but I remember adoring my First Grade teacher Ms. Curry. She saw the very earliest flickerings of my political self when I did a report on Jackie Robinson, and mostly managed to keep a straight face when I sternly informed the class that "nobody should be aggravated on a bus!" From Ms. Curry, I learned that both teaching and learning can be joyous, and that joy can be both very deliberate and very unintentional. Ms. Skelton: By any objective measure, I was a good and well-behaved student in high school. Always got good grades, never once got a detention, never got called into the principal's office. Subjectively, and on reflection ... I was probably a handful to deal with for a lot of teachers. I had a contrarian streak a mile wide, and I had opinions about pedagogy -- to wit, if I didn't understand why something was useful to learn, I didn't want to learn it. And no class was the subject of this wrath more than English. I believed then -- and to some extent believe now, though slightly less dogmatically -- that the only purpose of writing was to clearly communicate and persuasively justify ideas. Faced with English classes where we read a ton of literature that, to me, seemed like exercises in willful obtuseness justified because it uses "metaphor" or "connotative language", and I was effectively in open rebellion. In my first essay for Ms. Skelton in 11th grade, I wrote an extended diatribe about why most of the focus of the class -- "analyzing" the use of language rather than evaluating the content of the work -- was useless and pointless. I don't have a copy of it anymore, but with the benefit of hindsight I'm absolutely sure it was self-righteous and obnoxious (really, how could it not be?). I'd written essays like this before -- and since I was a good writer, in spite of it all, I usually got a good grade with perfunctory comments. But Ms. Skelton did something none of my other teachers had ever done before: She responded. She wrote extended comments on the paper, taking my position seriously and making her case for why I should, indeed, care about this material. She didn't persuade me. But she did earn my undying loyalty that day. From Ms. Sketlon, I learned that if you take your students seriously, and treat their contributions as worthy of respect, they'll be willing to explore nearly any horizon you place in front of them. Kim Smith: There were three types of political science classes I took at Carleton. There were required courses. There were courses I took with visiting faculty. And there were courses I took with Kim Smith. This wasn't exactly intentional -- it's just that Kim Smith happened to teach pretty much every interesting class I wanted to take in the entire department. Constitutional Law and African-American Political Thought! Impossible combination to beat! I took four classes from her -- tied for the most of any Carleton professor. I did well in her classes, but Kim was notoriously unsparing in her comments on essays submitted to her class. I have distinct memories of entire paragraphs circle or crossed out with "oh please" or "that's lame" written next to it. Some people were terrified of her, but I thought it was fabulous. And there's no doubt she made my writing better. And of all my college professors, she's the one with whom I have the closest friendship with to this day. Kim once told me her teaching philosophy was "it's better to be feared than loved". That doesn't give her enough credit though; I would say that from her I learned instead that if you play your cards right, you don't actually need to choose. Louis Newman: Louis Newman was one of the very first people I met at Carleton. Somehow, my dad found out about him -- in retrospect, that he found the head of Judaic Studies at Carleton is probably not coincidental -- and we were introduced before I even attended my first class. He actually persuaded me to drop my freshman seminar and instead enroll in his upper level Jewish Ethics class. Again, that actually might not have been the best advice in the abstract, but in my case it worked out great. He's the other professor I took four classes from; if Carleton had a Judaic Studies concentration, I would have done it. Louis was distinctive in the degree to which he cared about his students as human beings, not just as students. He was a warm and paternal, but never paternalistic figure. From him I learned that the best teachers care about the whole student, not just their submitted work. Melvin Rogers: Melvin is my great "I knew him when" story -- I knew Melvin Rogers when he was a post-doc at Carleton, just starting out his career. Even then, everyone knew he was brilliant, and everyone knew he was going to be something special. Carleton basically hacked together a position just to offer it to him, and his job talk was something else. Most job talks have one, maybe two students in attendance, quietly listening in the back corner. Melvin's job talk was given to a packed room, with several of us literally holding a "We Love You Melvin Rogers!" banner against the back wall. It didn't work, he ended up going to UVA, and given how his career subsequently took off I can't say he made a mistake. But certainly we pulled out all the stops, and were right to do so. Again, everyone knew he was a brilliant scholar. But he was also a brilliant teacher. Those two qualities aren't always associated together -- but I think that's a mistake in our profession, and one we should work harder to rectify. From Melvin Rogers I learned that brilliance in scholarship is wholly compatible with brilliance in teaching, and nobody should tell you that greatest in the one is an excuse to neglect the other. Martha Nussbaum: Martha Nussbaum is a very famous, very important person. I am not a particularly famous, particularly important person. And while I was technically one of her "students", in practice I took two of her law school courses that each had at least 30 students enrolled. She had no ongoing obligations towards me, and certainly had and has enough on her plate not to bother with me. She would have been well within her rights never to have once thought of me after handing in my final grades. And yet. Martha Nussbaum has written me letters of recommendation -- repeatedly, for several different types of positions. She's read drafts when I've sent them to her, she's met with me when I've returned to Chicago. She's even shot the breeze with me over email regarding our shared interest in Project Runway (she's worn Season 7 winner Seth Aaron Henderson). I was and am little, and she was and is big, and yet somehow she's made time to be a mentor for me -- for no other reason than that I took a couple of her classes and did well in them. Martha Nussbaum is another example of someone whose brilliant scholarship pairs with brilliant teaching. But from her, I also learned that even the most successful, amazing, prominent figures still can find time to care about and mentor their students -- and if she can do it, we all can. David Strauss: I once joked that there was a period where every idea I had for a law review article had already been written by David Strauss between 1985 and 1997. It was disappointing, in a way, but it was also a sign that I had good ideas, at the very least -- just a generation too late. He provided a model for me regarding what good scholarship was and what good teaching was. There's probably nobody on earth of whom I'm more clearly a "disciple" of  than David Strauss. And on top of that -- he was a great teacher, in a completely different way from Kim or Martha or Melvin. The fact is, I'm probably not and will never be as scary as Kim Smith. I'm much too goofy for that. But then again, so was David, and he commanded classroom attention just fine. From David Strauss, I learned that the best way to be the best teacher and scholar I could be, was to be me. Sarah Song: And now we get to my current adviser, Sarah Song. When I was applying to law schools, I was admitted to Berkeley's Jurisprudence and Social Policy program, and had I enrolled Sarah would have been my Ph.D. adviser in that program. Six years, five cities, four jobs, and one degree later, and I end up in a Ph.D. program with Sarah Song as my adviser. For a Chicago grad, I'm not always efficient. There is an academic adage I didn't learn from Sarah, but which very much applies to her: "Everyone in academia is smart. Distinguish yourself by being kind." Sarah Song is very smart, and very talented, and very everything one would want a great professor to be. But she is distinguished by being, without question, one of the most singularly kind people on the planet. From her I learned just how important that kindness is as part of being a great professor, mentor, and scholar. And I'm grateful to have it and her in my life every day. via The Debate Link http://bit.ly/2R9SRj7

[jolie-auletta]

Lose Yourself, To Find Yourself.

So, I had the honour of being part of an international women’s day seminar yesterday. Hosted by the beautiful Gaia Rose, at her annual awakened woman gathering.

Part of a 7 woman strong team, I made my first public speech.

Stood in front of 50 women I didn’t know, I spoke about something that had impacted my life. How I fully and completely lost myself, but found my true self by doing so.

So here goes;

When I first found out I was going to be speaking today, I was an anxiety ridden mess, I was almost automatically filled with all kinds of insecurities. What if my story isnt as exciting as everybody elses. What if people judge me. What if I dont even inspire any one?

And as normal as that thought process is for someone who has never spoken in public before, it isnt actually very logical.

While I was writing this speech I sent it over to my friend to read over and I told her I felt somewhat guilty for mentioning someone from my past.

I am literally about to say things to a room of strangers that I've never even said a loud before!

But that's when it hit me, I want to be part of teaching our daughters and the next generation of women to not be afraid of simply speaking the truth!

I was always an intelligent kid. I taught myself how to speak other languages, play musical instruments, top of the class.. so I should have been a grade A student, gone to uni and I could have been living 'the dream' right now.

I know that the dream is just perspective. The dream is what you make it. But what I’m trying to say, is I could have had a smooth and easy life, if things had been different.

I don't dwell on that though, devine alignment is something I speak of often. All that is meant to be, will be.

My secondary school days were awful. I started later than I should have, so perhaps that had something to do with it? I don't know. But I felt like I was just always having to try harder than normal, just to make friends. Constantly seeking approval from my peers, constantly trying to be ‘one of them’.

What I've realised it comes down to, is I've just never had good social skills. Which no body believes when I tell them because I come across so confident and eccentric!

But honestly I'm what I like to call a social chameleon. I can blend in with any group, but it's all down to analysis of behaviours and mimicking. In a sense it's just acting.

And that's what school was like for me, I shuffled between groups, making friends then falling out with them over things I just didn't understand at the time

It's like I just didn't know how to integrate with people , or be myself.

So along with feeling like I has no real friends.. I was actually bullied too. The entire time.

I remember having to leave school early just to avoid confrontation. The worst part is, I didn't tell a soul I until I was 25? So a whole 10 years went by without even telling my own mum that I was bullied!

That's something I really regret now. Because I believe it all stems from there and if I had reached out to someone, it could have all been different.

Anyway, the last year of school rolled round and I'm obviously so happy to leave!

But then this fear kicked in. What if I get bullied again!?

So I had an ingenius plan. (in hindsight this was not an ingenius plan at all)

I firstly completely went off radar. I chose a college in a new area, where no one would know me and heres the ingenius part. I made a new personality. Who is the most unbullyable person, I thought? All my previous bullies where quite 'rude girl' personas, so thats when i pieced everything together and decided who I’d be.

And it worked. No one picked on me and I was actually popular.

The mask was working, but that’s all it was, a mask.

I was still constantly seeking approval from people, always trying to be what I thought other people thought was cool, not what I actually thought was cool.

About 8 years ago, i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and BPD. I was on medication but I took myself off of them when I fell pregnant. I did see a psychiatrist for a number of years, but I'm due to have another evaluation because I tick a lot of the boxes for autism!

This was literally a lightbulb moment! When I found out I could be on the spectrum- everything in my life made sense. And it turns out its really common for women with autism to go under the radar, or be diagnosed with depression, anxiety or bipolar/bpd like I was, and that's it, autism isn't even considered.

I am quite obviously high functioning, but every day scenarios like dealing with my emotions, sensory predicaments and simple socialising are a daily battle for me.

I have done A LOT of self healing and I have made a lot of progress, but I have come to the conclusion that whether I'm one, none, or all of the above , I just don't fit in a box and that's okay!!

I found my release in music, it was a coping mechanism, a world to get lost in.

But this leads me onto the second part of my story. During my music years, I met someone who would change my life.

A narccissist.

As i said before i do believe everything happens in devine order and its all lead me to where I am today. And I don't even hold a grudge towards this person. What's done is done.

And we were actually friends for a long while before getting together, we were best friends in fact, I can't even fault the friendship.

But the relationship was TOXIC!

The mental abuse was off the scale. And he also introduced me to cocaine. Now, in the beginning, it was all fun and games. Parties, recreational and I had no responsibilities in life so I thought why the hell not.

But it became more than that. He got me involved in not only taking it, but selling it too.

The entire relationship became based on that.

And ultimately it was detrimental to my soul.

I didnt even recognise myself. My family didn’t recognise me. It was like I had all these layers of personality I had invented to hide behind, but I couldn’t even remember who I was underneath it all!

I became more and more involved in this crazy lifestyle, so much so I ended up in prison because of it.

Honestly I look back and just think, how could I be so STUPID. It took me so long to admit that I was in a controlling and abusive relationship.

This guy had a hold on me. The kind of hold only a narccissist can have.

This wasnt some teenage crush where i 'loved' him so much and I'd do anything for him. I was a crushed soul, bowing down to a dictator.

I did what he wanted, when he wanted. I didn’t even exist. It was all about him.

My mental state was in pieces.

Im honestly so embarrased to tell people Ive been to jail. I mean even saying the word jail. It makes me cringe. I rarely tell people. There are family members that don’t even know!

But that prison freed me. From the jail that was my own body.

Its almost heartbreaking to think of myself all alone in a cell, no friends or family , but I had time to be on my own. With ME! The actual me, not the me I had been playing the part of for the last god knows how many years.

I honestly remember the day the penny dropped, it was when I put my nose ring back in. It sounds so crazy, but when I put it back in, all the pieces of me started to sort of fall into place too. I wore the clothes I wanted. I wore my hair how I wanted and I was starting to love being me again.

The mask was off! I existed again! And that was a beautiful feeling!

I can’t believe I’d kept up this charade for so many years! I should have been an actress, seriously 😂

So fast forward to today, I have a daughter, My Isabella Amethyst. I honestly love her more than I ever thought was even possible and she has played a major role in me becoming the person I am today, because she deserves me at my best and no less.

Another point to make is… As some one who was too foreign for the white folk; yet too white to be black… my whole life I had never fit in to a ‘group’.

I started researching my ancestral heritage and had a deep spiritual connection with the Italian and Spanish parts of my DNA. I even discovered I had Amerindian and oceanic DNA. Which was amazing and even more soul grabbing for me, it gave me a sense of belonging.

A lot of people say wow jode, you've changed so much!

But i am now, who I actually was before I was pressured in to believing I wasn't good enough as myself! Before I invented a new me, just to fit in with everyone else!

So along with becoming a parent, Ive managed to start my own holistic business too!

I do everything I love now, everything that makes my soul happy. I say yes to my intuition and say no to anything that doesn't serve me. We as women have to learn put ourselves first! We have to learn to trust ourselves, love ourselves and actually learn to be a bit selfish!

Life has given me some lemons, as they say. My world was incredibly sour at times and I have found my self in the darkest of corners, alone. But as clische as it is, after the darkness comes light.

I can wholeheartedly say that although I may not be 'living the dream' I could have been, if I had chosen all the 'right' paths in life, I am infact HAPPY. My soul is content and I am ME.

No matter what any of us have been through in life, we not only grow through it, we can flurish beyond it. These awful things happen to us, but they do not define us.

Sometimes we just have to lose ourselves, to find ourselves.

[joshterry]

everybody’s free (to drink iced mocha’s) 

before i start this blog, i just want to say how important i think starbucks is. i don’t think starbucks really gets the credit it deserves sometimes, so here’s to you uniformed coffee empire, here’s to you. today i came into work on very little sleep, after starting a new workout program that i totally bombed, and knowing i had a few calls i had to make that i knew were not only going to be pointless but that i was dreading. a tired, frustrated and unmotivated me is the worst version of me. then by about 2:30, our intern becca went and got starbucks and as silly as it sounds, that tasty iced drink i ordered really changed the mood. so buy starbucks people, it’s the truth.

ok onto what i really want to talk about. aside from the starbucks iced mocha with no whipped cream and almond milk (which i can’t praise enough) i had, i often fail to realize the people and things that come into my every day life that change not only my perspective but my experiences themselves and help keep guiding me on a path that actually benefits me. i’m quite stubborn and rarely ask for help when i need it, so it takes special situations & persistent people to really get me over my own wrongness most days. i’ll start with re-evaluating the start of my day and then try to bring it back to the big picture, almost as if i would have had that lovely iced drink before the day began.

so i woke up at 6 am after less than 4 hours of sleep. i was drool on the floor, don’t want to be here, tired. why’d i only sleep 4 hours you ask? (i know you didn’t ask, it’s rhetorical, stick with me people i’m telling a dang story) it wasn’t because i didn’t sleep well, i slept great or as great as one can sleep in 4 hours, you see i have sleep apnea which i didn’t learn until a few years ago and i have to wear this darth vader looking mask when i sleep that blows air into my mouth so i don’t... you know... stop breathing and die, it’s quite sexy. ladies did i mention i’m single. before i got it though i probably went 7 years undiagnosed and was sleeping at a rate where every 9 minutes my body would literally have a convulsion to wake me up so i didn’t choke on my tongue and die. yep, that’s a real thing. anyway my mom realized something was wrong one night when i was visiting home because i think i sounded like a gun shot wounded dying yeti when i was sleeping and it freaked her out. now i go to a doctor once a year who charges me $200 to watch me yawn and tell me the machine i’m using is working and that he’ll see me in a year. but hey i can sleep now, so i can’t blame my inability to sleep for my tiredness.

so who do i blame for not sleeping? my friends of course. well last night i went to a super late movie with some of my friends who all lead busy lives. we do the same type of work - all with varying level of commitments. some of them have kids (or goats) who poop in bathtubs, some of them travel a ton and recently started new jobs with much higher commitments and stresses, some of them won’t buy new trucks even though they’re about to be rich (ben hutto, this is about you, buy the truck you idiot, everyone tell him to buy the truck in the comments section) but we all got together to watch a movie late at night about dudes in suits who saved the world by killing a drug dealer who lived in cambodia and turns bad guys into hamburger meat, mainly so we could just hangout in the middle of all our busyness and of course see a cameo by elton john where he kills robot dogs with bowling balls (shhh don’t tell peta). anyway, so i got little sleep because i didn’t get home until about 1:30 last night and then had to wake up at 6 am to go to the gym.

now let’s talk about me failing at the gym. i go to the gym 3 days a week with a personal trainer, kenny chesney goes there too, he’s far superior at going to the gym than i am, but i digress. anyone who’s known me for more than 3 years knows that exercise is a new thing for me. i’m pretty sure i didn’t exercise more than 3 times from the age of 1-32 and that includes being the all time worst hurdler on my high school track team my junior year (i still lettered, and if i ever get rich i’m making them retire my jersey and name the track after me). the max exercise i did all those years probably involved lifting a burrito to my mouth and i was dang good at that, could have been an olympian if that was a sport. the only water i drank those years came in the small amounts of water inside a dr. pepper can. today i drink close to 130 ounces of water a day, barely touch soda and i try to eat as healthy as i can. even though editor’s note i did go way off my diet last night and eat an entire family size box of cinnamon toast crunch by myself. i fail sometimes ok, i fail. anyway this gym i go to that i failed at this morning, i would have never gone to if it wouldn’t have been for my friend andrea who invited me to join her gym when i finally got serious about my health. in under 3 years of going there, i’ve lost 50 pounds (41 pounds of which was body fat). i’m stronger than i’ve ever been, i can run without being chased by an animal, i can do pushups like a marine and touch my toes like a gymnast and it actually makes me feel good and i (usually) enjoy going in the morning as it starts my day off in a really good way. the fact that today was a new program and i didn’t feel i did that great is ok, exercise has taught me it’s less about being perfect and more about showing up and putting in the work. my trainer olivia pushed me and encouraged me and got me through it. one of the guys i work with is named paul and paul has been going there for a month & a half and he has the best attitude about it, works super hard and just being around him made me complain less (maybe not cuss less) but definitely complain less. so even though i didn’t master my program today i left feeling way better. and tomorrow morning i’ll wake up at 6 am again and go boxing with my buddy tyler. yea i box now, like mike tyson with less ear biting. i go boxing because my friend kate invited me almost 2 years ago & that day i hated it but she encouraged me to keep coming back and now most weeks (as long as i don’t oversleep) i go about 3 days a week to that too.

by the time i got to work this morning i was spent. the first thing jenn & becca asked was “are you ok?” because i must’ve just looked like death. we got through the start of the day and it’s annoyances and by mid-afternoon after that lovely iced mocha that i’ve been telling you about, we got to talking a little more big picture. jenn, my only employee, reminded me of how we first got to know each other. jenn was persistent on introducing herself to me, and in classic not paying attention to anything me mode, i almost had forgot how many times she made an effort to get an “in" with me & the company. she did radio interviews with my acts, wrote about them in the magazine she ran, heck she even interviewed me one time for her magazine. she introduced herself to me at a college speaking seminar i did. she applied for an internship twice - i turned her down both times without meeting her, and when my former assistant decided to pursue a different career (which involved her famous dog), jenn applied for the job even though i had given her no real reason to want to work with me after all her efforts. my former assistant (who knew me way too well by that point) actually thought jenn would be perfect for the job and actually prepped her about the interview process, gave her cheat notes about what questions i’d ask, so she’d be prepared. jenn was the last person of about 60 that i interviewed for that job, at one point i told leslie “if none of these idiots work out, you can’t quit.” after 59 interviews, i had given up. i had talked to every idiot 22 year old in the city of nashville & they were all wrong. jenn came in and was exactly the type of person i wanted - she was focused, she was a hustler, she wanted to manage bands & she wanted to work for me (which i would have known if i would have paid attention all the times she tried to make an impression on me, but let’s not get past the point that jenn cheated in the interview ok, CHEATER), but i remember we hired her within an hour of the interview. i told leslie “make sure she doesn’t get a job anywhere else or you have to stay.” jenn took the job and leslie is now rich on internet dog money and a new york times best selling author (no really, she is - because leslie is also awesome). jenn’s the best person that’s ever worked for me and that wouldn’t have happened if leslie wouldn’t have helped her cheat and if jenn wouldn’t have been persistent enough to want to work with me regardless of how many times i got in her way. today, paying jenn's paycheck is the only check i look forward to paying every month and anyone who knows me and knows how cheap i am realizes how odd of a statement that is. but she truly makes my company, this job & personal life better and makes things move so much more fluid than i ever could do on my own with all our acts. and after we talked about how much of a cheater jenn was, i got to thinking about clients i had worked with in the past and the clients we work with now and how they all came about. and one after another it became obvious that so many clients we had in the past and had now came from referrals from other clients or people we had worked with before and there was kinda a weird connection between all of them. people who had told me i should try this, or work with this person, even if i didn’t see it at first. the ones that went away were for the better and opened up room for the ones we’ve had great strides with. those same people encouraged me to start my own business 2 years ago too. a decision that scared the crap out of me when i was making it, but that has now made me incredibly happy and i can’t imagine not being an entrepreneur at this moment.

i have countless other stories like this, if i wrote about all of of them or even half of them, this blog would turn into some really long book that none of you would bother reading. so i’ll leave you with this.

i know most days i, and i’d assume most of us, overlook the small things that are actually positive, because frankly it’s easier to look at the annoying things, the tiresome things, or the things that make us feel discouraged. it’s much easier for us to all feel like victims instead of the lucky jerks we actually are. so here’s what i suggest. ready? reflect on the people who impact you and present you with opportunities to change things for the better, stop being so stubborn, and get out of your own way. be open to change, it’s gonna happen whether you’re ready for it to or not, and usually that change leads to the things you really want. trust your gut and just let things happen how they’re going to. you can’t control it anyway. and finally the most important thing i’ll tell you is, and i really want you to pay attention to this part… i really do think you should try these iced mocha things though, and that’s not just because i’m fishing for starbucks gift cards for christmas either… ok i am fishing for those, but you read this until the end and isn’t that the whole point anyway. starbucks for everyone!!!!

[j-kaiwa]

Discussion Article March 30th

Intolerant Anti-Bully laws are killing Freedom of Speech

Only July 4, the United States will be celebrating Independence Day, the birth of our nation. Unfortunately, the greatest freedom provided us by this new democracy has been dying and few people seem to be aware of it or care about it. And many others are even cheering it on.

The democratic world has made "tolerance" its number one social goal. Nevertheless, this goal has been elusive, as victimized groups continue to lobby for laws that remove the stigmas against them, and educators, social scientists and parents continue to proclaim the horrors of bullying. Despite decades of diversity education, members of the various races congregate largely with their own kind in our schools and neighborhoods.

The truly ironic thing is that the most essential element of a tolerant society has been with us for the past two centuries, as it is also the central element of democracy, but we are slowly but surely killing it. That element is in the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and is called Freedom of Speech. We need to be allowed to say what we want, as long as our words don't cause tangible harm to people's bodies or property, or society will stagnate and we will be prisoners in our own skulls, only permitted to say things that the authorities approve of. Without Freedom of Speech, we would never solve problems that require abandonment of current ways of thinking. Without Freedom of Speech, the government could be as despotic as it wishes, killing off any protestors without impunity. Where the concept of Freedom of Speech is absent, people believe they are entitled to kill others who say things they find offensive. Without Freedom of Speech, we would literally be living in the Dark Ages.

We Americans love to call our Constitution the greatest political blueprint ever created. It was formulated by wise, educated, brave men who studied philosophy and spent a great deal of time hashing out the principles for a system of government that maximizes human freedom and well-being. But the ultimate freedom, Freedom of Speech, is now dead.

Do you think I am exaggerating? Perhaps. But only a drop. Who teaches Freedom of Speech anymore? It is ignored from grade school through university. And if it is taught, is it ever given more than brief lip service? Is more than one paragraph ever allocated to it?  Are its meaning, purpose and practice discussed? Even many journalists today, who owe their professions to Freedom of Speech, do not believe in it because they don't study and understand it.

As I repeatedly demonstrate at my seminars, in my videos and in my writings, Freedom of Speech is the key to peace among people. It is a wonderful principle not only for running a country. It is also a wonderful principle for interpersonal harmony. And though it is a wonderful psychological and moral principle, it is never taught in courses in psychology or morality.

Not only is no one teaching Freedom of Speech anymore, that precious freedom is being slowly but surely killed. It is being murdered by the growing social movement that has successfully brainwashed virtually everyone into believing that the solution to human emotional misery is to create, by force of law, a society in which no one says anything anyone else finds offensive, in which there is no stigma, and in which there are no imbalances of power. There is not one social movement in the history of the world that has enjoyed such unanimous support as the anti-bully movement. Not one religious or political group has criticized it, despite its being contrary to the basic philosophies of most religions and political groups. Not one psychological organization has criticized it, despite the fact that it violates the principles of almost all major schools of psychology. Neither the American Civil Liberties Union nor any other rights-advocacy group has criticized it, despite the fact that anti-bully laws violate the most basic democratic right, Freedom of Speech. Even organizations that are dedicated to promoting Freedom of Speech have failed to criticize this anti-free-speech movement.

The number one tool of science is logical thinking. 2,400 years ago, Aristotle said, "One thing no government can do, no matter how good it is, is to make its citizens morally virtous." Simple logic will lead anyone with a basic understanding of human nature to realize that a society in which everyone is always nice to each other is impossible. It has never existed-and will never exist-because it can't exist. Only in Heaven, if such a place exists, is such a society possible. And logic will lead thinking people to conclude, as Aristotle and our Founding Fathers did, that the attempt to create such a society by force of law can only cause more harm than good. But the social sciences, in their zeal to protect the feelings of people, have thrown logic out the window and are unwittingly creating a less tolerant society. We are in effect teaching: It is very important to be completely tolerant of everyone. And if anyone shows you any kind of intolerance, we will have no tolerance for them!

Ironically, some of the most intolerant, offensive people you can find are ones who most forcefully insist that we need to create a society in which no one is intolerant or offensive. As I am wont to say at my seminars, few people get insulted as much as I do. I have given seminars to tens of thousands of people, and I get evaluations at the end of the day. It never ceases to amaze me how nasty mental health professionals and educators can be! Thanks to my website and blog, I receive letters from people all over the world. Because I am the world's most visible critic of the anti-bully movement, I am also the world's leading recipient of the vitriol of anti-bully zealots. Many angry emailers naively accuse me of having no idea of what it's like to be bullied. They should read my email! They should read the threatening letters sent to Cross Country Education for daring to sponsor my seminars! They should have been there to witness the vicious attacks against me at a few of the presentations I have given in schools! They should read some of the nasty comments to articles about my work on the Internet! Very few people get bullied and cyberbullied as much as I do! (And i haven't tried to get any of my bullies punished!)

"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." ~Voltaire

Freedom of Speech requires me to respect your right to say what I don't like to hear--even to publicly insult and humiliate me--just as it requires you to respect my right to say what you don't like to hear. And just because we have ideas that are unacceptable to each other, it doesn't make us enemies. You may be giving me the best advice in the world but I don't realize it and find it offensive. Should you be prevented from, or punished for, saying it? We are supposed to love each other despite our opposing ideas. When I recognize your right to say things I don't like, I don't get angry at you for saying them. You, in return, respect me for acting respectable. Furthermore, since I don't get angry at you, you cannot have the pleasure of getting me angry, so you don't seek to torment me with words. All wise people throughout the world understand this. It is the most basic ingredient of peace.

Unfortunately, because Freedom of Speech is no longer taught, and our citizens have been indoctrinated with the very opposite, many people today cannot tolerate criticism, insults, or views opposite to their own. And that's why bullying has becoming a more serious problem during the very period that we have been trying hardest to get rid of it. Especially during the ten years since the Columbine massacre, the anti-bully movement has been teaching us that no one has a right to say anything to us that can cause us emotional or psychological distress. So when people say things that are offensive to us, we feel totally justified in getting angry, thinking self-righteously, "You have no right to say that!" and the situation escalates as they become even meaner back to us. And when we try to get them in trouble with the authorities, that's when they really want to kill us!

So that this won't be just theoretical, I would like to present you with a couple of recent examples of intelligent, educated people who would like to deny me Freedom of Speech.

I received the following email from someone identifying him/herself as Real Person, who had apparently read my article, The Psychological Solution to the Stigma of Obesity, and didn't like it. The article is written respectfully and is based on ideas that any decent Cognitive Behavior therapist or Rational Emotive therapist would whole-heartedly advocate. (I just reread it, and I happen to think it is quite good. I believe it will help any obese person who is willing to face reality.) The subject line of the email was, Sometimes the freest speech is silence. What this writer obviously wants, as you will see, is my silence, not his/her own, God forbid.

And the greatest freedom is to not have to listen to you! You know nothing. Some cute slogan and a soapbox and you're off... There needs to be an anti-bullying movement in every heart, everywhere! It's called common decency and respect for others. With your help, and the idiocy of bureaucrats, people have divorced their own actions from any sense of responsibility. Who are you to say that the stigma of obesity isn't worse than the obesity itself? Cruel words lead to cruel actions. It's just too bad that the gentlest souls far too often direct those actions toward themselves. Then idiots like you turn around and blame them. Do the world a favor and just shut up. Listen for a change. You might be surprised at what you haven't heard.

This person insists there must be decency and respect for everyone. Except, of course, to me, because she doesn't agree with me. She doesn't question her right to be as nasty and insulting to me as she wishes.

I received the following comment to my blog entry, The "Perfect" Anti-Bully Law, from someone identifying herself as Jeannette:

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You have either no understanding or no experience - probably both - of any kind of bullying behaviour that reaches deeper than mild irritation. There are few people for whom the usual daily small and sometimes painful lessons of childhood - do not give them sufficient life skills to deal with the kind of bullying your 'booklet' describes. I checked out your infallible rules. Complete nonsense....I have listened with too much patience already to voices like yours, who recommend these simplistic solutions - ideas from people who - on finding themselves in any similar situation - would have not the slightest idea of any way to cope, and would be brought down very low by it....If you have never experienced that - you may not hope to understand how your article sounds, like nonsense, to anyone who has.

You have absolutely no right whatsoever to be making this attempt to harrass those who try to protect the lives of children and adults from one of the most pernicious ills of our time.

This intelligent writer believes that since I am criticizing the failing anti-bully movement, trying to wake the public up to the folly of anti-bully laws, and providing free advice that has helped countless people throughout the world successully deal with bullying, I am somehow "harassing" her. Have I ever done a thing to stop her--or anyone else--from trying to protect children from each other? It is not I who is fighting for laws that force us to think or behave in a certain way.

She says I "have absolutely no right whatsoever to be making this attempt..." Absolutely no right whatsoever?! How about the First Amendment?! But Freedom of Speech is dead, and even the most educated people today have forgotten it. These anti-bully activists who are so dead set against nastiness have no hesitation to be nasty to anyone they don't agree with. Only one point of view is permitted today. The only Freedom of Speech we have today is to say things that the anti-bully crusaders approve of. Three cheers for the demise of democracy!

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If you haven't already viewed these videos, I invite you to see the power of Freedom of Speech in action. Two of the three sample videos from my Victim-Proof Your School program that can be viewed on my website demonstrate the power of Freedom of Speech to stop bullying. In each video scene, I first try to deny the other person Freedom of Speech; the second time I grant them Freedom of Speech.

The following is a scene in which a student is cursing a teacher: How Should Teachers Handle Being Bullied

The following is a medley of scenes of people calling me idiot (it would work with any other insult): The Idiot Game

I hope you are getting an increased appreciation for Freedom of Speech. If society were to spend a fraction of the time and effort teaching the meaning and practice of Freedom of Speech that it does fighting for anti-bully laws, we would achieve a greater reduction in bullying and a greater increase in tolerance and harmony than we can ever hope to achieve through the most intensive anti-bully laws!

[cunyappliedtheatreblog]

Countdown Profile: Week 2 Cardozie Jones (‘12)

Cardozie Jones (’12) is Founding Principal of True North EDI. He sat down with Michael Wilson (’11) to talk about building his company and how he brings joy and rigor to his work for equity, diversity, and interdependence. 

Cardozie, it’s been years. I think of you as an entrepreneur in the arts, because of your directing background. How does that land? 

I guess less and less I would call myself an entrepreneur in the arts. I’m still directing—I direct a few times a year, and I really direct because it’s fun, and I love it, but my work has in the past three years really been focused on facilitation and consulting, primarily around racial justice. But generally speaking, equity work. 

So I’ve been consulting for three years on my own as Cardozie Jones. And then this summer I founded True North EDI, which is “Equity, Diversity, and Interdependence.” Right now, I’m the only “employee” of True North EDI, and my expertise is certainly in racial justice, but my larger goal is to have a cohort of consultants who just are really amazing and talented within the different spheres. 

Tell me more about True North.

 In doing my workshops, which have been in schools, for the most part—that’s really where I got my start, as an educator—I’m called in to sessions with staff, sometimes one-off PDs, and then it became more like I came once a month, or something like that, over the course of a year. And developing curriculum and sessions and content and themes.

 I was a consultant for Border Crossers…now the Center For Racial Justice in Education…and I’m also a consultant for NYU’s Metropolitan Center for Research on Equity and the Transformation of Schools. And then from there, I got more agency. First of all, I realized, okay, I’m good at this. I got great feedback, and I’m meeting other consultants who are really good at what they’re doing. 

That was a blessing for me, to find those organizations. But then I’m realizing, oh, but, when NYU sends Cardozie out, they’re literally just sending Cardozie out. I’m creating the sessions, I’m doing the reading, I’m doing the research, I’m doing all of the work. And I don’t say that begrudgingly at all, but people are just getting Cardozie.

 It was good and important to have those supports, and those big names, but now you’re at a point where you can stand up on your own. 

Yeah. 

Would you take me, take readers, into what a workshop feels like? 

Racial justice work can be so heavy. “I spent six hours in a session to realize that I literally have no power in this, because it’s so far beyond me, it’s so much older than me, whether I’m a victim of it or I’m privileged by it.” It still seems unchangeable. And so, for me, the energy that I bring into the room is very buoyant. We are up and moving a lot. We’re playing games. We’re using Theatre of the Oppressed to have fun. 

I’m so glad. Use the tools! 

Yeah. To have fun and to reflect and question and think critically. And it’s one of those situations where we’re about to have this really heavy conversation for three hours or six hours where we start off by laughing. What an amazing way to start a conversation about things that are kind of crappy, you know? And I maintain those exercises throughout. Whether we’re actually up, we’re doing small group work, we’re doing posters—we’re generating, right? This is always a space of generating versus continually being depleted. 

One of my favorite co-facilitators, a white woman, and she does great work from a white anti-racist lens, and her background is in restorative justice, and she brings that same energy. She has a theatre background, too. We have so much fun, playing Columbian Hypnosis, and two by three by Bradford, and with role play. It’s this really amazing time.

 People leave, given the written evaluations we receive, feeling like they see possibilities in the world. Versus, like they see the things that are insurmountable. And part of that is we’re very specific that we’re asking people to target their sphere of influence. We’re not asking them to un-do the entire system. And that’s part of interdependence. None of us can do it alone.

 Another problem that equity and diversity workshops get into is slowing down and helping out the white people. And then people of color are just like, “yep, I knew that, but what am I getting out of this?” How do you address that? 

A few things. The first is I try to acknowledge for everyone in the room, if you enter this conversation in any way, shape, or form with the mindset of, “I already know this,” then you will not learn anything. No matter what your racial identity or identity is in the room. Right? The second thing is that, you’ll have one person of color in the room saying, “well I already know this, this feels like it’s very white centered.” But you’ll have eight more people of color who are like, “oh I did not know race was a construct. I never heard that before, actually. My race is my race, that’s what I was taught,” right? Yes, to some extent, in racial justice trainings, they [black participants] recognize it more than white people recognize it. Because the fish can’t see the water. But they don’t necessarily see it as a choice they can not make. 

I have been really reflecting on the nature of “diversity work” and, as I said, it’s very white-centric. It’s like, that’s the target. And so what I tried to do more recently is bring in black-centric or POC-centric texts that are speaking to experiences. So people of color in the room can feel like “yes, this is me, this is my life right here,” and white people can see, “wow, this is blunt, no one ever talked about this this way before.” People of color feel validated in the room, and it removes the burden of having to over-share and be so vulnerable, in a way the white participants simply aren’t, quite frankly. 

But that question…it’s still a work in progress. We still need to figure out a way for “diversity work” to not be white-centric or not dominant-party-centric. 

I asked because it bedevils me with the work I do on gender. Every time I do a mixed gender group, we end up taking care of some white guy. And sometimes I feel like we got somewhere, that we took a detour but it’s worthwhile, and sometimes I’m like, “this is just patriarchy protecting itself, and whiteness protecting itself.” 

Yeah. The other thing I’ve decided is…there’s all these jokes about white tears and so for me, you can cry all you want. That does not mean I’m going to center you right now. And I’m going to call out the room if we start to center that person. So whether it’s tears or it’s outrage, or whatever the spill of emotion coming from the dominant body is, it’s valid. I’m not going to silence it. But we’re also going to keep moving on. Because we’re here together. So you can let it out. Flood the floors. And we’re going to keep moving forward. Because that’s what this work is, right? Moving forward despite the loads of emotions we feel. 

Thank you. You mentioned earlier you wanted to circle back to the MA? 

Yeah. My ability to facilitate groups is hands-down from this program. I was talking to a colleague of mine, a chief operating officer at an organization, who is contracting me to do racial equity work with her organization. And she said, “as we design sessions, you’re constantly and perpetually thinking about the reception and what’s happening in the room.” Versus, it would be much easier if I could design a session and not think about that! But having been in the program and understanding…having a more human-centered approach, having a more co-intentional approach has forced me to consider that I need the people in the room to create a partnership in this. 

Also, you know, we went to grad school and there’s times we had whole courses where we would just play, for an entire course. And somehow that made the learning more rigorous, and not less rigorous. So part of what I understand is that rigorous learning and rigorous experiences require imagination, and so, being a graduate of the applied theatre program, I recognize all the possibilities that exist when the imagination is activated, and when we can step in and out of roles, and in and out of possibilities, and act as if—not as “what is,” but “as if.” 

What gets you up in the morning to keep doing the work, Cardozie? 

The simplest way to say it is I love what I do, and I have the privilege of my work being my passion. The hardest thing about my work is the planning, is the administrative stuff. Me like doing invoices, and designing a session from scratch. But when I’m in the room, which is five or six days a week, I’m in a room with people, it’s FUN. It’s FUN. 

[Also,] more and more I feel like this work is a calling. And I’m the kind of person who would have scoffed at the word “calling.” Like three years ago. 

What I haven’t talked about, is it takes a toll, right? The work takes a toll. I’m talking about things that are very personal to me that I feel a lot of pain, as it relates to racism. So my well depletes very fast. When I burn out, I am BURNED OUT. And so I’m trying to figure out ways of self-care, or ways to facilitate self-care for myself. 

I hear you. 

But waking up in the morning, I get up and go. I never dread sessions. And they can be really really challenging. But I welcome the challenge. 

You’ve got this small smile and your eyes are lit up. 

Yeah, I love it, I love it. It’s not really great for my marriage laughs. He’d prefer that we not have the challenges sometimes. But I’m the kind of person who…I thrive off of debate and I thrive off of…not conflict, but problem-posing.

 Anything else you’d like some curious person to know about you?

 My next and current step is creating seminars where people can come to me. In January I have this three-evening seminar called “True North Together.” What I realized in doing this work is that I’m only in spaces that call me in. But then there are regular people in the world, like mothers and people who work in spheres where this isn’t the conversation, but who are reading the news and raising children and on social media. They see the world. But they don’t have the language or the knowledge to engage the world in a way that’s powerful and thoughtful and positive, and so True North Together seminars are for anyone at any point of access to come in and be more powerful in conversations, specifically about race and racism. Race, power, and privilege. My hope is to fill up two cohorts of that in January and February. And so, yeah, that requires another entrepreneurial hat I need to wear, because now I’m recruiting, so to speak.

 Send me the link. 

Thank you, that would be great. I want to have a 1500-person conference one day. Where we can really convene and commune in innovative ways, and some old ways that work, too. 

Thank you so much. 

Thank you! 

Check out True North Together at https://www.truenorthedi.com/events.html.

[beingmad2017-blog]

Greater Accurate Net Information - Human Relationship

New Post has been published on https://beingmad.org/greater-accurate-net-information-human-relationship/

Greater Accurate Net Information - Human Relationship

Looks like we’re dwelling in interesting instances.

The economic markets are in a tizzy, humans are dropping jobs and homes, and there may be a pivotal election arising on top of all that.

Hello, simply the day gone by, even I were given hit by way of more than one nasty surprises, and lord knows I was pretty bummed out for a touch at the same time as.

I also realize that what took place to me was quite small in evaluation to the hardships that some human beings accessible have been experiencing.

A number of you can have misplaced your private home or the entire community to herbal catastrophe. A number of you can have had years of savings (apparently) misplaced in a blink of an eye. A number of you may have misplaced a job while having an own family to help.

If that sounds like you, then examine on. Due to the fact I’ve some encouraging words for you.

Now I am the furthest component from a monetary professional, so I am now not going to provide you any pointers in that arena.

What I will let you know is a way to use your thoughts in a way such which you are happier, healthier and Extra powerful as a human being. Due to the fact it truly is the inspiration from which the whole lot else can paintings.

We are going to start with standards, after which visit practices. Equipped? Move.

First of all, I might like to remind you that, as a person, you’re the most privileged creature on this planet. Why? Due to the fact you’re allowed to assume independently of circumstance.

If men accessible can consider baseball to distract themselves in delicate situations and women can consider Brad Pitt, then that means quite a whole lot everybody has the functionality to redirect their attention regardless of the situation.

The key’s to harness that potential in a productive manner while the mind will become preoccupied with something apparently crucial. monetary troubles hit the survival part of your mind, and so that you begin to take it way severely.

However, this is largely an illusion. maximum people right here in the international’s prosperous countries are not going to have troubles with survival. You may make it, pretty a lot 100% of the time. Maybe no longer as simply as earlier than, however, you may make it.

Some of you could have ‘misplaced’ money inside the markets, or for your 401(ok) accounts. Let me ask you this: wherein changed into that money earlier than the disaster hit?

in the air somewhere. Our on-line world, in case you need to name it that.

wherein is it now? Identical place. Maybe your intellectual photograph of it has faded, but that changed into only a mental picture anyway — an illusion, if You may.

This is what the Buddhists talk approximately while they say the world is an illusion. You realize whilst you wake up from an extremely bright dream, and also you say, “wherein did all of it Go?”

Well, the historic masters said that some day, we can wake up in the Same manner from this lifestyles. And, in a way, this marketplace disaster has been a bit of a. humans now see that so much of what become going on was froth upon the froth. Symbols of symbols of symbols of fact.

Now it really is all Well and Precise, however in case you simply misplaced a massive wad of cash, that might not be what you need to listen. I listen to ya, and I’m in the Identical boat. Payments are pretty rattling actual, and that they need to be paid. And the sensation of risk and loss is real, no matter what the Buddha stated.

And I’m right here to give you actual empowerment. so that you can start to experience Properly. Due to the fact while you sense True, you can do Precise. And do Well. And spread the good feeling to everyone else, so that they also can do Appropriate and do Properly.

Due to the fact, keep in mind: regardless of what is occurring out there, you can sense But you want *interior*. there may be no cable from the outdoor international plugging immediately into the lower back of your head dictating how you are presupposed to experience. Ever.

Dr. Viktor Frankl selected to recognition at the splendor in lifestyles even inside the midst of an attention camp. not only did he live on the enjoy, unlike many of his friends, however, he also emerged triumphant — and lived to be 92, making predominant contributions to psychiatry until his loss of life in 1997.

What will you be doing fifty years from now?

don’t forget this: the matters that absolutely depend on in lifestyles are things that can not be taken away from you. Your information. Your competencies. Your love for buddies and own family. No literal or figurative gust can blow those away. Those are your real treasures, so don’t forget them.

K, sufficient beating that lifeless horse. Permit’s get all the way down to a few practices:

1) Alternate your angle.

It is highly smooth to get stuck in our personal ‘reality tunnels’ as the radical logician Robert Anton Wilson used to call it.

“Oh no — I just had $500,000 worn out from my inventory portfolio!”

Well, Permit’s play a game of ‘Would you as a substitute’, we could?

Would you instead lose money on shares, or have your limbs hacked off with machetes in Darfur?

Could you alternatively have your mortgage foreclosed, or have Russian tanks rolling over your own home in South Ossetia?

Could you rather have the issue paying your kid’s college tuition, or maim him so he’d be higher at begging on the streets of Mumbai?

Due to the fact, there are people in all of those latter conditions — and I am guessing you are no longer certainly one of them.

Would you as an alternative ought to cancel your health insurance, or have terminal malaria without a get right of entry to medicines in Uganda?

Time to rely on your advantages. As bad a form as you watched you will be in, there are thousands and thousands worse off than you.

2) Be the source.

One of the terrific things approximately times like Those is that you’re no longer on my own. hundreds of thousands of humans have been tormented by the Same occasions.

Now a huge proportion of them will permit themselves to be buffeted by activities, blown away too and fro. They’ll take a look at the News obsessively, searching out a glimmer of hope or in addition signs of doom.

however, it truly is now not you. Due to the fact You already know that One of the excellent approaches to cheer yourself up is to move cheer a person else up who wishes it even More than you.

You’ll be that small fraction of those who say, “Recognise, I’m going to be the individual that spreads the wonderful vibes. I’m going to be the best News everybody else is looking for. I’m going to be their replied prayer.”

The reason this works is that it takes you from your head — internal consciousness — and offers you an external recognition. This is exactly what we let you know to do in ‘The Tao of Relationship’ when you need to have aa success date. It simply works better.

In this way, you’ve got manufactured Properly Information and Properly emotions for yourself. And for all of us around you. Neat trick.

You do not have to be a Pollyanna approximately it (= unreasonably optimistic, for our Ecu readers) for it to paintings. just your stable presence, an encouraging word here and there works. “Recognise, whatever occurs, I simply want you to understand that I simply consider on your capabilities.” it really is all it takes.

And yes, I simply do accept as true with on your skills. It, in reality, does paintings.

3) Keep away from the Information.

The sage Nisargadatta pointed out the distinction among ‘honey attention’ and ‘water consciousness’.

It is going something like this: in case you tap a cup of water, the water will shake and emerge as agitated. A cup of honey, however, may not budge. It might take a number of jostling to get the honey to be perturbed at all.

One thing to do to cultivate honey awareness is intentional to Keep away from the jostling. News media is designed to perturb you and make your experience like crap: “If it bleeds, it leads.”

In my seminars, I have an exercising wherein I ask people to call 3 things they heard through the Information that resulted in them taking the real movement. Most of the people cannot come up with one — of their whole lifetime. And but they nevertheless concentrate to and study the News. Hmmm.

So Avoid Tv, newspapers and internet Information totally if you may assist it. The marketplace’s been down earlier than, It is been up earlier than, and it’ll be down and up again. If It’s not Information you could act on, It is simply the nuisance. Toss it out of your lifestyles.

4) Exchange your mind chemistry thru yoga and exercising.

the day prior to this, I was feeling quite bummed about a bunch of factors. I went to yoga elegance, and 90 mins later felt bulletproof. My consciousness felt elevated, my coronary heart became extensive open, my attitude had enlarged, and I simply felt a zillion instances better.

in case you already do yoga, visit magnificence regularly. The Extra vigorous the magnificence, the higher. in case you don’t do yoga, bear in mind taking it up.

if you surely may not take yoga no matter how tons I harp on it, Pass jogging as a substitute. energetic sustained physical activity will simply make you experience better approximately your global.

5) Meditate frequently.

Equanimity is a muscle. You toughen it via working it out, and you figure it out via meditation. I especially just like the loving-kindness meditation. absolutely, certainly effective stuff.

The More you do this, the calmer your thoughts could be, and the More you may practice non-attachment to things, instances, comfort, humans, and all of the other stuff which could get us into trouble.

6) Take the lengthy view.

In ‘The Tao of Courting for Guys,’ I speak approximately training ‘enlightened self-hobby’. It means what is Desirable for you ultimately has a tendency to be the higher route of motion for you and people around you, pretty a great deal always.

In addition, an extended-term attitude on the occasions of the day will keep you in Properly stead. where will you be in 10 years? In 20? Each big wave has little wavelets on it, so consciousness on the massive wave and journey that. You may be simply great in 2018. And 2028. And all of this will seem like a fun little tale. honestly.

7) Anchor yourself inside the now.

Take stock of wherein you’re right now. if you’re analyzing this paragraph, which means that you probably do not have a blocked airway, you’re breathing, and your coronary heart’s beating without any profuse bodily bleeding. the ones are the ABC’s of med college (airway, respiration, circulate), and they represent the most effective actual emergencies.

that means right now, In this immediate of time, this tiny sliver that we name now, you are Ok. There may be no real hassle. right? consider that once more. Verification complete? Outstanding.

Now enlarge that feeling over the years. Are you Okay the subsequent 2nd? pretty lots. And the following? Yup. Let’s string a few seconds together and make minutes out of them. now not so hard. Let’s stick a few minutes together and make hours out of them. Then days, months, years.

There are no troubles in the now. There may be simplest natural being, pure attention — in case you permit it to emerge. Running from there, you may tackle your challenges with electricity, grace, and equanimity. For More on this complete ‘now’ concept, I particularly endorse Eckhart Tolle’s now-conventional ‘The energy of Now.’ Do it, like, now.

8) Be given the awareness of uncertainty.

Has there ever been a time while everything became ideal? Will there ever be? Heck no! Uncertainty is the order of the day. Address it. right here’s what our Correct pal Lao Tzu has to mention approximately all this inside the Tao Te Ching:

“Do you need to enhance the arena?

I don’t suppose it could be executed.

the arena is sacred.

It can’t be improved.

in case you tamper with it, you may ruin it.

in case you treat it like an object, you’ll lose it.

There may be a time for being ahead,

A time for being behind;

A time for being in movement,

A time for being at rest;

A time for being energetic,

A time for being exhausted;

A time for being secure,

A time for being in chance.”

The Master sees things as they’re,

without looking to manipulate them.

She lets them Pass their very own manner,

and is living in the center of the circle.”

My definition of pain is ‘wishing the world to be special than it is.’ Are you causing needless ache on yourself? Nicely, forestall it already, ‘reason It’s making me sad.

By the way, everything I just instructed you approximately is good in your Dating lifestyles, too. Humorous how that works.

So Cross in advance and opt for a run, take a yoga class, meditate, cheer someone up, smile and unfold that smile like It is happy virus. anybody will thank for it.