#this is probably the most self-indulgent thing I've ever drawn lol

[sun-marie]

A moment, some point in late Act 2

(based off the Patch 4 notes mentioning we can now wash the dirt off our companions 💜)

[tolyys]

doodle dump! i've been working on something secret and haven't had time for any of my big personal projects lately,, but i wanted to post something before august was over 💕

from top to bottom: punk/nerd dennor, entirely punk norfin napping on a pile of squishmallows, and probably the single most self-indulgent thing i've ever drawn in my life (steampunk wingtalia norway lol)

[ofcowardiceandkings]

me rambling about "Staring at the Sun" by Jacob Gellar and how much it smacked me in the face under the cut lol (contains exactly ZERO spoilers for TotK 💙)

AS SOON as i saw that his video would touch on the quests it does in some way i knew it'd fuck me up for a week or two but i didnt expect it to go that way - he rarely dives into the base plot of these things so i knew that was safe but ohhhh man

ive not played The Last Guardian but i know its one of my best friends favourite games, though the light in watching my partner play Shadow of the Colossus was amazing to see, but this really hit me hard because it pin-pointed one of the things i love most and maybe why i just love being in the world of Tears of the Kingdom (and BotW) so much ?? ive always been a fan of impressionist art too, and Turner as well, i've been trying to push myself into that space in my own art for so long. i always feel mega cliche saying these really well known artists are my favourites but i truly mean it jfdkjf ... this is probably one of the reasons i appreciated how bright and chipper the art style for Skyward Sword was with its fading blues and 'brush strokes', but it just doesnt compare to Breath or Tears with the amount of work the light puts in now, i spend so much time just STARING and ive just realised its usually at the light playing the forms and atmosphere in a real but beyond real way

i'm stuck in two art world of really enjoying doing linework and texture - and being reasonable at it - but wanting to go into colour and light though ive never been comfortable with doing so for some reason ??? im trying but i often just forget to try when im just drawing something self-indulgent and silly (most of what i have time for)

the play of light off cave art and that theory has lodged in my head forever too, As A Nerd On Such Things, there's something absolutely stunning about cave art, how it was made how it was put there and why how it was supposed to be viewed if at all, anything. absolutely fascinating, especially with the seemingly shifting images of Chauvet & Lascaux caves ??

a thing that always stuck with me as well - it might seem like a bizarre pull but it feels the same to me - is actually how the sun is portrayed and animated in the 1978 Watership Down ??? pulsing and moving and quaking with pattern and colour, not to be seen properly by us on earth, but you cant NOT look. i've not shaken the imagery of the sun from that movie from my mind since the first time i saw it as a child im STILL obsessed, it STILL almost haunts me

additionally, as someone who's repeatedly defended how these games look to people who complain about framerates and textures and whatever, i appreciate this. don't get me wrong, it doesnt HURT, especially from such a large gaming company (not that Nintendo have ever put heavy focus on the technical specs of their products though lets be real) but Breath/Tears just emphasises how much art direction or a vision can carry a project compared to other high-spec but ultimately forgettable titles. maybe a little much salt in that sentiment on my end but boy it bothers me when its all people can think about.

i'm gonna be stuck here for another few weeks lol this happens every time Jacob posts a video theyre ALL so winding and drawn out and beautiful gjfkds fuck

[passingtimediary]

Waving to be waved back, loving to be loved back

I've been thinking I’d be happier as a ghost. Whether this shows a love towards humanity or a hatred of it, I’m not sure. I love things. I love people, animals, art, music, nature, so on and so forth, and I do want to continue perceiving these things, I just don’t want to be perceived back, I guess. I crave attention from babies and animals only, i. the least Omg i’m the main characterrrr way crouching down for a street cat or waving at a baby on the bus can genuinely bring me to tears. Plus the moments I want to be seen and validated by peers are short-lived; the way the want manifests itself is often regretted (deleted stories, outfit changes, unsent messages). I want to do things without extrinsic motivators of acceptance so that I can feel honest and understand my true values, but it feels as if the only way to separate my actions from their responses is by not having responses at all, for my actions to be invisible. I feel like I don’t know myself and I can’t tell if I would still give money to the unhoused if I was invisible or I would buy presents for my friends if they didn’t know they were from me, although I guess part of what makes these gestures ‘kind’ is the noticed transaction between humans. I would like to think I’d still do all the things I do now anyways.

Maybeeee life is just a series of that game sweet or sour, standing on a bridge waving at truck drivers for the singular aim that they’ll wave back. Am I writing this blog to be read? Surely I am, although I know no one will, so I guess I’m not. ? Any sense of seemingly pure self-indulgence I have seems to be strung along by subconscious capitalist urges anyways but whaaaatever that’s a tangent waiting to be written. My friend Wren and I were talking about this and he laughed and said that I clearly don’t love to be loved back in the way I never wave to be waved back. I thought about this and he’s simultaneously absolutely right and absolutely wrong. He’s right in the sense that yes, I would say Haiiiii to a literal trash can if it was cute enough. I wave to inanimates knowing full well I’m not going to get a wave back, but that’s exactly it. I’m drawn to what cannot and will not respond. So. Fear of rejection whatever blah blah blah boohoo. You get the gist. I think I tend to show love to those who can’t reciprocate it the most and then avoid showing love to those who I feel it from. I feel anxious when people like me, romantically or not, and lowkey avoid it at all costs - another point to the ‘Why I should become a ghost’ list. I don’t even believe in ghosts lol. Maybe I don’t want to believe in myself 2.

Alongside wishing I were a ghost I’ve been thinking about single-parenting; romanticising pretty much the hardest thing ever, as I tend to do. I imagine my single-parent self and my only-child son (probably called Nico or something) going to the beach, doing homework together, raising him to be ‘one of the good ones’ even though that never works out. Whether my inability to imagine a happy nuclear (lesbian ver.) family is a product of my child-of-divorce upbringing or my potential aromanticism I’m, again, not sure. My own kid being the only person I can truly impact is both terrifying and all I want. Like it’s the only way Ill feel like i’ve done something perfect. Not now of course. Also only wanting one child in itself is selfish like while it’s partially about money and effort, some part of me wants to raise another loner and also siblings are annoying af to be around What who said that? Anyways who wants to be my sperm donor or surrogate? 🤲🏼

[sigridhawke]

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

[Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask]

Deep diving I see! I will try my best to answer 💪💪

Thank you for the ask!

[me coming back after typing it all out lmao] This got so much longer than anticipated so putting it under the cut ✨✨

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc.

⁃ Fantasy is probably an obvious one, I'm a big fan of fantasy settings especially if it involves dragons. In similar lines when it comes to fantasy, I love looking at I guess common interpretations of mythos/fantasy and seeing what kind of personal spin I can put on it and explore. I think something that is going to explore that most or most blatantly is my original story Crimson (placeholder name) aka unnamed dragon princess and wyvern story to which I'm now bringing a lot of old characters of mine back into as well to really flesh out and explore a self indulgent world. I hope to share more progress on it and the world building in the near future as I flesh out the world before diving back into writing.

⁃ Personal experiences is another, most times I find some event of character interaction that allows me to draw on my personal knowledge and experience for better or for worse. While majority of the time I am writing for myself I still want it to evoke some kind of feeling. Spoilers for Leather and Linen but Atem's death scene, in particular his final moments was drawn from losing my grandfather to cancer. While I wasn't there in his final moments I was informed of certain things and it has always stuck with me. Sometimes these stories are a way for me to make a scene feel more real, or at least try to, I guess other times it's a way for me to immortalize a moment or work through feelings.

⁃ In addition to that most of what I write tackles mental health in some kind of way and also queer experiences and/or romance. Mostly the romance. As a demiromantic I love the progression of relationship and connection and support and falling in love, I find it such a magical thing and enjoy writing about it thoroughly, especially I guess the complexities I myself have gone through as an ace individual although it wasn't really until Leather and Linen too funnily enough I let myself lean hard into the ace experience with Definition of Love which was a little jarring but something I wanna write more of too. Also polyamory whenever I can with my faves lmao looking at Shuraig/Albaz/Ecclesia fic I’m writing atm ahhhhh.

⁃ On less deep notes lol, I think small gestures, particularly hand holding is something that pops up a lot in my stories too. Gentle touches, reassuring touches, if there's and kind of friendship/relationship there's probably touching.

⁃ And many friends would probably hound me if I didn't say I'm a sucker for angst with happy ending. The amount of times I spam the 'I can endure any pain as long as it has meaning' meme is beyond compare haha. I do love me some good angst, but I also don't like being sad at the end of a story so it's gotta be happy (it can be bittersweet) but it has to be happy in some way or I will lose my mind.

⁃ Oh and self sacrifice. I've you've ever seen pullea magi madoka magica, the whole situation of homura going back in time over and over to save madoka. I have a massive bias for this apparently. Intentionally or unintentionally this happens a lot in my writing too.

⁃ Less of a theme and more of a habit, 9 times outta 10 I HAVE to have a floor plan for an area, especially if stuff takes place in a house. It does my head in if I don't know what can be seen from point A in a household if things are happening. I have a whole floorplan for Atem's tomb in Leather and Linen and a floorplan for the Kame Game house for Divine Dragon AU dkfbsjsdg.

There's probably more things but this is already getting super long so we'll leave it here for now :'DD

[Fanfic Writer Emoji Ask]

[cheesecake12]

... or maybe polnareff’s advice isn’t so bad???

bonus for this