#this is one of three (maybe more) val stories i currently have cooking

[toa-arania]

Watch Out For The Clown

1: Don't worry about an actual clown, this is another Val post 2: I promise that makes sense in context

It's been a while since I've done one of these so for everyone new, Valerie Wester is a character I play in a Monsterhearts game. She is a Witch, and an absolute force of nature. Big proponent of Womens' Wrongs. I've posted about three of her Category 5 Woman Moments before (here, here, and here), all in relation to an OC tournament called the Homemade Girlboss Battle which she very nearly won (2nd place if I'm remembering the numbers right). At the time, the game was on pause, and has been over summer and most of autumn because two players dropped out and we needed to find a new one.

Enter the Clown.

Monday. Two members of the gang have fucked off for various reasons (one went to go searching for their missing sister and the other got sent to superhell by his evil uncle). We are down to Val (Witch), Mei (Ghost), Levi (Werewolf), and Darcy (Hollow (soulless husk with an identity crisis)). We come into school, Val and Levi flagrantly ignoring the buddy system as always, and who should arrive but our new classmate: Aluber

It is important context that despite our gang being a fairly queer group (even though our actual trans man did just fuck off to go looking for his sister) the town we live in, Springdale, is fairly backwater. So none of us are that surprised when a whole-ass clown turns up to class, announces his intentions to be everyone's friends, and immediately gets called a faggot. We are surprised when he flat-out does not know what that means. Now Val is the type who, like many tumblr users, thinks of faggot as a compliment, and decides that it is absolutely a good idea to teach Aluber this too. He ends up sitting with us at lunch.

We quickly discover that Aluber is a Fae (because of Levi's Werewolf senses), and that it is probably for the best that he ended up with our group of supernatural misfits instead of getting dragged into Heather's Mind-Control Clusterfuck. Now because he's a Fae, that means he has a connection with an entity called the Fae King, or as Aluber calls him, Big Uncle. Above-table we call him Buncle now. It is also important to note that one of Val's many, many schemes is to set up a deal with the Fae King at some point to be able to tap into Fae magic. Buncle calls Aluber to the Fae domain of the forest, and gives him a big-ass tome of magic spells, and tells him to "not let anyone else have it". This choice of words will become important later.

Events progress as normal for this group. Val accidentally turns Darcy into a vessel for her dead sister's soul, but that's a story for another post. Then, on Tuesday, Mei gets a coded note. This is not unusual. Mei has been getting coded notes for a while that Val has been helping her to study due to their shared investigation into the Murder Basement, which is related to the Psychic Doublebird Reacharound.

This note says "Watch Out For The Clown".

We proceed with caution. However.

Since our characters are teenagers (a mix of 16-17 iirc) we do teenager things. And that includes Truth or Dare. Also drinking. Val is mixing the drinks, and she does not put any thought into strength at all. This will come back to bite her in the ass. During Truth or Dare, her first dare is to cast the Migraine Spell on herself, which is what she calls the spell Ring of Lies, a spell that causes painful tinnitus in people who try to lie. Big lies can even cause people to pass out. Val, as a pathological liar, does not enjoy being under the influence of this spell. The game proceeds, and the details are not important immediately because I will be writing about that clusterfuck another time, but it is important that by the end of this evening Val has learnt about Aluber's Fae Spellbook, and she wants to have it. However, she has been told that Buncle will get stabby if Aluber gives the book to people. Val begins to plan.

Val wakes up with a hangover in the morning.

The plan is simple: Convince Aluber that as someone with more magical knowledge than him, she can help teach him how to use the book's magic.

This does not go according to plan.

Wednesday. Val has been even more short-tempered than usual all day due to her actual migraine and people being irritating, so when she asks Aluber about the book and he says no because he doesn't trust her and is scared of her (rightfully so to be fair), she does not take it well. Then, Aluber makes the mistake of turning to Mei and Levi and saying "would you two like to come and look at the book?". Val responds predictably by magically ripping open every blood vessel in Aluber's nose and giving him probably the worst nosebleed anyone present has ever seen. She and Levi go to have a Chat about her losing her cool, but the specifics are for another time. This is already going to be my longest Val Post.

During a separate incident, Val learns that one of the spells in Aluber's book is an Antimagic Field. She and Wesley (an NPC Witch who is Val's "friend") decide that they need to kill this fucking Clown. They don't stick with this for long as the Gang Comes Up With A Plan, so Val instead starts scheming how to get around an Antimagic Field.

The idea is simple: In endocytosis, the process by which cells absorb large things, the cell membrane bends inwars and splits off into a bubble called a vesicle, which contains only the thing it absorbed and keeps it separate from the rest of the cell's contents. Val will simply apply this principle to the field. All she needs to do is examine the theory and work out how to manipulate the field's boundaries.

The plan is simple: """Apologise""" to Aluber, talk about how people intentionally keeping things from her takes up her whole head until it's resolved to the point of losing sleep, Promise to be friends, and as a gesture of goodwill offer to teach him more about his spells, and even only look at the book through his eyes using magic so he can control what she sees (and so she can understand the book's contents but she doesn't need to mention that).

Then a few people make some rather daft choices.

Saturday. For petty reasons (she was watching him sleep), Wesley has hexed Mei. Instead of going to Val, who she knows could dispel it in a heartbeat, she goes to Aluber, who has an untested antimagic spell that he has never attempted before. So he tries it. As it turns out, when you cast Antimagic spells on a Ghost, it turns them back into a dying corpse. So now Mei is on the floor bleeding out and having ptsd flashbacks. They call Val.

Val gets there (and brings Levi), and very quickly realises that because Aluber has not let her look at any of the spell theory, she has no idea how to dispel this. The spell manifests as a chain, so Levi tries to pull it off, breaking Mei's ankle in the process, and it magnets back on. We are all panicking. I am going to kill this fucking Clown. And then the spell ends and Mei is fine.

Val immediately rips into Aluber because that was an objectively stupid thing to do. She skips straight past any kind of apology, and tells him that he cannot just try shit unless he understands how it works (note: Val is constantly trying shit without entirely understanding how it works, but none of the gang know enough about magic to point that out). She convinces him to let her study the theory before he tries any more of these spells so she can explain to him how it works.

All according to keikaku.

Aluber goes upstairs to where he was keeping the book, and once he's retrieved it from its hiding place Val casts Watching on him to look through his eyes. She starts reading the theory behind the Antimagic Field. Instead of waiting for her to be done, Aluber begins casting it in a small area on the ground. This is when Val realises that it is not an antimagic field. It is an antimagic pulse. She only just manages to get out of Aluber's head in time to warn Levi and Mei, who fucking book it, but Val herself does not have time to move before she is hit by the blast.

Fun fact about magic in this setting. Different types of magic do not mix well. Fae magic and Witch magic are quite close to each other, and interact reasonably well, magic from the Dark Powers does its own shit, and Celestial magic tends to repel other kinds of magic. The character who got sent to Superhell, Seraph, had a protective field that blocked Val's magic and always made her feel a bit ill, so she already knew that losing her connection to magic fucks with her badly. In the words of the GM, "it feels like one of your organs has been taken out". Val fully throws up and passes out, and her earring of mind shielding is destroyed. Meanwhile, all of Aluber's Faery Contracts are nullified, and Mei is only just able to get out of range of being turned back into a Super Dead Corpse. Levi is fine.

Val wakes up, ready to actually fucking murder Aluber, and we all hear a screeching in our minds as the Fae King yoinks Aluber into the forest. As it turns out, "Do not give anyone this book" apparently included "Do not let anyone read this book". The book has now been confiscated. Aluber was not able to memorise the spell, but because Val read through the theory, she now does remember it, and as the only one with the knowledge of how to use it she plans to hold it as a very important bargaining chip.

The moral of the story: one day, I am going to kill this fucking Clown. Just not yet, because he keeps making himself useful for things.

[ahrorha]

Flame of Winter

This is the final chapter, and it feels unreal to have come so far. The story is far longer than I ever could imagine. And I want to thank everyone who joined me on this journey.

Your kind words were a joy to have received. Thank you so much for everything.

I love you guys <3

Chapter 35

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Upstairs in the Hanged Man in Kirkwall, Varric sat in his armchair. His room in the most famous tavern of Kirkwall had become his second office since he became the Viscount. Here he could hide for a while from the complaining nobles and stuffy politicians he was surrounded by in Hightown. He could clear his head here and listen to the common people living in Kirkwall, who faced, in his opinion, the real problems in life. Not that he could escape his 'assistant' (pain in the but) Senechal Bran here. Bran had just delivered another stack of letters that required his 'immediate' attention. Varric sighed. He would become bald, grey and worn out like the previous Viscount if he wasn't careful.

“I see you are still insisting on staying in this lovely part of town.”

Startled, Varric looked up and saw Dorian walking into his room, looking critical at his choice of furniture.

“Sparkler! You've already arrived. Take a seat.”

“Yes. My voyage was very boring and uneventful. No burly Qunari pirates visited to make it less tedious.”

Varric stood up to send for refreshments, and soon afterwards, he took a deep drink from a mug of ale while

Dorian was sniffing his wine before taking a careful sip. He raised his eyebrows in surprise at the excellent taste.

Varric laughed. “I got you something good. My knowledge of wine has improved after spending time with you and Broody.”

They both were silent for a while.

Swirling his mug of ale, Varric asked. “Have you gotten one too?”

“Yes. Though mine was a little different.” Dorian answered.

“How so? Didn't you get a letter? Mine just showed on my nightstand when I woke up.”

Dorian gave him a surprised look. “A little unnerving. Do you know who brought it?”

Varric shook his head. “No, and to be honest. After Hawke, the Inquisition and my trip through eluvian capital, there is little that still can surprise me.”

“Well, this might just do. I have talked to our little Snowflake.”

“What?!”

“I didn't get a letter. I got a sending crystal.”

“What is that?”

“A small magical marvel. It is a magical gemstone that can be used for communication. They come in pairs, and you can talk with the person that has the other one. With the crystal came a small note with a date and time.”

“She has the other one?”

“Yes, though she hasn't answered any of my calls to this date, but I talked to her just before I left Minrathous. She is doing well, though she feels guilty about how she left. We talked a long time about me and how I was after Iron Bull's betrayal. I have to confess I wasn't entirely sober after that.”

“So, it is true she is back with Chuckles?”

“Yes, they are back together, and she seems happy.”

Varric sighed. “Well, at least one good thing has come out of this mess.”

“She also told me that things are far more complicated than she ever thought, and she was unsure what the future would bring.”

“You don't say. I know a lot of people don't believe what Chuckles is claiming and are more worried about the Qunari. But after what I saw in the Crossroads and seeing so many elves disappear, I know something is going to happen.”

“True, though our dear Inquisitor hasn't told everything that happened.”

Varric looked curiously at him.

Dorian chuckled. “Do you know what the first thing she did was, when she saw Solas?”

“No.”

“She slapped him with all her might.”

Varric sputtered. “She did what?”

“I think it may be not as bad with her at his side.”

“Maybe? I got an extra note with my letter, from the Dread Wolf himself.”

“Really?”

“Yep. He confessed that he had spent the last two years looking over his shoulder, fearing for a shot from my Bianca. He also thanked me for looking out for her.”

They both huffed a laugh and nursed their drinks again.

“Do you blame her?” Varric asked.

“After everything that happened to her and with the Circle looming over her head? No. Though I fear what the future is going to bring.

“If I have learned one thing over the years is that nothing is simple.” Varric lifted his mug. “Let's drink. And I think we will come face to face with her or Solas sooner than we might expect.”

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Skyhold was once again surrounded by a thick layer of snow. Cullen shivered as the cold wind tugged at his cloak. Winter had the Frostback Mountains full in its grasp. He looked up at the sky where slowly clouds were gathering. There would fall even more snow today. It would delay his departure even further back.

Feeling a little melancholy, he gazed over the walls. It had been almost eight months since the events at the Exalted Council, and soon he and the remaining troops would leave Skyhold for good. The fortress would become a mere outpost now the Inquisition had transferred into the personal honour guard of Divine Victoria.

Currently, the main body and command centre of the Inquisition was stationed in Val Royeaux. Most of the Inquisition's operations had already been transferred; what remained at Skyhold was the clean-up crew.

Cullen looked at how little was left of the once vast field of tents and huts in the valley. So much had already been deconstructed. A caravan of wagons was being loaded to bring the last of the supplies down the mountain. It was strange, they had arrived here with so little, and now they needed weeks to clear out the fortress.

It wasn't really necessary for him to be here, but it felt right to accompany the last of his men personally when they would leave. A final goodbye to another place he had called home.

Three years they had stayed at Skyhold, and somehow it felt like he hadn't achieved anything. True, many things happened here; they had defeated Corypheus and saved Thedas, but if what Ryan had told them about Solas was correct, then Corypheus had only been the beginning. He had a hard time grasping what Solas claimed to be. To

Cullen Fen'Harel was a character from elven folklore. In the past, he had never paid much attention to the Dalish tales about their gods. As an Andrastian, he had always believed that their talks about elven gods were no more than silly fairytales. Even now that he had spent time studying those stories, he wasn't any wiser as to how to prepare for an opponent that claims to have made the very Veil itself. But one thing was for sure, Solas had outsmarted them all, even Leliana.

It had been very sobering to see how many elves had disappeared after Ryan's confrontation with Solas. Over a period of weeks, servants, craftsmen, cooks and cleaners had left. They all disappeared overnight, not leaving any trace behind. And it wasn't only the Inquisition or Orlais that reported the disappearance of elves; it was the same in Fereldan, Nevarra and the Free Marches. Tevinter was keeping quiet, but they gathered enough information to know that they also struggled with people becoming missing. Whole families had left, leaving some alienages almost empty and the servant quarters abandoned. There were even reports of entire Dalish clans that hadn't been seen on their migration paths. It showed just how vastly Solas' network was and how his people had access to every organisation in Thedas.

Maybe the most dangerous thing was that no one could estimate how big Solas' forces really were. It showed just how no one took the elves seriously and how they could have operated without being noticed. Cullen had a hard time convincing others of the dangers those elves could represent. To most, the disappearance was a mere nuisance; they complained because their servants they relied on had left. And for once, they had a hard time finding a replacement.

What they didn't see was the threat those elves could represent. Cullen knew from his own experience how dangerous things could become once Solas would train these elves. The Inquisition itself had started this way; the first soldiers under his command were recruits from Haven, men and women who barely knew how to hold a sword. The same recruits turned out to be brave soldiers that won many battles and helped to defeat Corypheus.

Solas had achieved what hadn't happened in seven hundred years; he was uniting the elves of Thedas. Though Cullen couldn't guess what Solas' plan was. He had said to the Inquisitor that he would destroy the world, but Cullen doubted that Solas would destroy it in such a way that his allies wouldn't survive. But he wondered what Solas' plans meant for the humans. Whatever it was, it wouldn't be peaceful. With how things were now, no human nation would support any claim of the elves for land or power.

He shook his head. No, whatever was going to happen would end in more bloodshed.

His thoughts went to Eirlana. Was she back beside the man she loved? Or had Solas cast her aside just like after the defeat of Corypheus. He felt a pang in his heart thinking of her. He missed her more than he wanted to admit, and although she had rejected him, he hoped that wherever she was, she was happy.

.

Cullen entered his quarters, a familiar headache pulsing in his head. Without Eirlana's healing, his headaches had returned, as well as his cravings for lyrium. He sat down at his desk, feeling drained. With a sigh, he rubbed his tired eyes, knowing there wasn't any escape from his withdrawal. But there was no time to rest; even in an almost abandoned fortress, paperwork was waiting for him. Letting out another sigh, he grabbed a report to be read when his sight fell on a small raven scroll lying in front of him. With a frown, he took it, wondering where the scout had gone to who had delivered this. A message from a raven typically meant they needed a reply immediately. With ease, he broke the seal and unrolled it. A small pressed elfroot leaf fell out of it, and Cullen's heart skipped a beat when he recognised the familiar handwriting.

.

____________________

Cullen

I don't know if you want to hear from me, but I have a request.

Meet me alone at the grove tonight. I will be waiting for you.

Eirlana

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____________________

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Cullen sat there stunned, re-reading the short message. Why would she contact him? Grabbing a drink from his secret stash, he stared out of the window, not knowing what he should do.

.

The eluvian sprang to life in the small elven ruin. The eluvian was half-buried in the rubble, and Himel had to bow down to step through it. Immediately he checked the surroundings. Soon he was followed by other elven soldiers that spread out and did the same. The eluvian's surface rippled again a short while later, and Solas and Eirlana stepped through it.

Himel returned to them and kneeled down. “There are no signs of any activity in the vicinity, my Lord.”

Solas fussed at the fur collar of Eirlana's cloak, pulling it tighter around her neck. “Wait here for our return.”

“Yes, my Lord.” answered Himel. “Stay safe.” He then directed his men to their stations and guard this place.

“Are you ready?” Solas asked Eirlana, stroking her cheek with his gloved thumb.

Eirlana nodded. “Just a little nervous.”

“We will be alright.” Solas stepped out of the ruins in the open and transformed himself into a huge black wolf. Crouching down, he waited until Eirlana had climbed on his back. Once she had securely grabbed his fur, he rose and took off. The sun was setting, turning the snowy peaks into orange and pink hues wherever the twilight managed to peak through the heavy snow clouds. When they arrived at the mountain ridge surrounding Skyhold, night had fallen, and Solas slowed down. Casting a spell to hide himself and Eirlana, he carefully made his way over the mountaintop and down the valley. As of yet, he couldn't find anything unusual other than that the walls had far fewer guards and that the fires in the settlement surrounding the lake had dwindled in number. Skyhold was almost abandoned. Confident that there was no trap waiting for them, he fade-stepped the last distance into the grove.

Solas waited again, listening, smelling for any sign of trouble before lowering himself so Eirlana could slip off his back. He transformed back and walked with Eirlana to the oak growing at the far end of the grove. Silently Eirlana lay a couple of white flowers on the grave of their unborn daughter. She shivered when Solas took her in his arms, it still hurt that she had lost her, but the pain didn't sting as much as it used to. She could feel how Solas also mourned the loss. It was strange to be with him here together after the years she had mourned alone. But she was grateful they finally could share their loss without the burden of their secrets between them.

She leant against Solas, and he pressed a kiss on her head. “She will always be a part of us.” he said softly. “And who knows, maybe she has decided to come back.” His hand stroked her tummy tenderly. Under his fingers, he could feel the spark of a new life. “You have given life to something precious again.”

She shivered again under his loving stare, which turned concerned immediately.

“Are you alright? Do you feel cold? Do you need something?”

Grabbing his hand, she smiled. “No, I am fine. We both are. Though it's strange to be suddenly in the snow again.” She squeezed his hand to reassure him. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

Solas' ears twitched as he heard footsteps in the distance.

“Stay back.” he whispered and turned back into a wolf. He narrowed his eyes when he saw the glow of a lamp. Silently he moved forward, curious if Cullen had heeded Eirlana's request.”

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Cullen stepped into the grove alone. It had just begun to snow, and he peered through snowflakes, wondering if Eirlana would really be here or if he was about to step into a trap. Maybe Leliana was trying to test his loyalty in a twisted way. She had become highly suspicious and vigilant after what happened at the Exalted Council. Seeing no one, he walked further when suddenly a giant black wolf appeared from the dark. It was double the size of a big war-horse, and its six yellow eyes were glaring at him.

Startled, Cullen dropped the lamp and reached for his sword, cursing he hadn't brought his shield.

“Cullen?” Eirlana's voice called for him.

He hesitated to draw his weapon further when he saw her approaching from behind the wolf.

“I come as your friend. Are you alone?” she asked.

“I am alone.” he answered, not taking his eyes of the wolf. It had to be Solas, he thought. Slowly he sheeted his sword and spread his hands. “I am not here to hurt you.”

Eirlana smiled, seeing Cullen's gesture. “Solas, please.” she turned to Solas.

Solas took another deep sniff before he was satisfied that Cullen was telling the truth; with a whoosh, he turned back. He gave him another silent stare before he spoke. “You have nothing to fear from me, Commander. I am merely here to escort her.” He kissed Eirlana on her forehead before he stepped back and leaned his back against a tree, not letting his guard down.

.

Cullen felt a chill running through him; Solas wore a full golden and black elven armor under a black-furred coat. He looked nothing like the humble apostate Cullen knew. Though he had the same face, his body language and expression had changed dramatically. It now screamed confidence and self-esteem, and even without having consumed lyrium for years, Cullen knew he had never faced a more powerful mage.

It was a stark contrast with how Eirlana looked as she approached him. Her armor consisted of a silverite breastplate and arm guards, both of elven design and richly engraved. Under them, she wore finely tailored blue robes that were silver embroidered. Her cloak was lined with white furs. She looked radiant, like a noble elf from one of the old elven legends he recently read. Her hair had been intricately braided and decorated with a silver circlet. He also noticed silver jewellery encasing her left ear. It curled along her whole ear and had a couple of silver chains dangling down. Both jewels were adorned with small blue gems that glittered in the light of the lamp.

Cullen was stunned, not knowing if what he saw was real. Before him stood the two most wanted elves in all of Thedas. And they had just shown up, taking the risk of him betraying her request. Although now Eirlana was coming closer, he also could feel her magic radiating from her. It was stronger than ever before.

“Cullen?”

He realised he had been staring at her. “I...”

Not only Solas demeanour had changed, but she had also changed. She seemed stronger and more at ease. There was an air of self-confidence around her she usually only displayed when she worked as a healer. Her eyes had lost the sadness that he had seen in the past two years. She looked more content, happy. It gave Cullen both a feeling of relief and sadness.

.

“I am sorry about the way we parted ways.” Eirlana smiled at him.

Cullen looked back at Solas for a second. He was still leaning against the tree, he looked relaxed, but Cullen could tell he was listening and watching for any sign of danger.

He focussed back on her; he needed to know. “I understand, but I have to ask. Did you know about Solas?”

“Did I know he is Fen'Harel?”

He nodded.

“Yes, I knew. Did I know about his plans or his involvement against the Qunari at the Exalted Council? No. Though I always intended to leave the Inquisition and look for Solas after the Council.”

It shocked him that she knew about Solas' identity, but it wasn't surprising she had planned to leave the Inquisition. He couldn't see her go into a Circle.

Eirlana huffed a laugh. “This is more difficult than I thought. I want to tell you so much, though I find it difficult to find the right words.”

Cullen rubbed his neck, feeling awkward. This is ridiculous; they used to talk all the time. Why did he freeze now? “How... how are you?” he asked; it was the first thing that popped into his mind.

She looked at her feet, gathering her thoughts. “Good.” she looked at him. “I want to say wonderful, but it is more complicated than that. There is much I need to consider.”

He shook his head lightly and smiled. Her answer reminded him of Solas and how he used to give answers that only resulted in more questions. “I see you have spent much time with Solas.”

A beautiful smile of love and affection spread on her lips, giving Cullen a slight sting of jealousy, but he was also relieved to see her so happy.

“I did.” she answered. “Though many matters demand our attention.” She stared at the mountains in the distance. “Everything is much more complicated than I ever could imagine. Good and evil, right and wrong, they are not so easy to define anymore.” Sighing, she looked back at Cullen. “But I didn't come here to discuss such matters. I came to help you. Your symptoms must have returned for a while now.”

He nodded slowly, perplexed that she put herself in danger for him. They must be aware that both the Inquisition and the Chantry were looking for them. Not that their searches had any results, but they both had to know the danger they put themselves in by coming here. And yet, here she was, taking the risk of being captured just to help him.

.

“Come. Let's sit down.”

She walked towards the frozen water of the grove's spring and sat down on its stone edge. Cullen glanced at Solas, who watched them without saying a word before he followed her. She had removed her gloves and

raised her hands towards his face, activating her magic. He closed his eyes as her familiar magic engulfed him. As always, a sense of relief and peacefulness washed over him, chasing away his headache and discomforts of his lyrium withdrawal. Then something changed; he could feel her magic going deeper. The residual lyrium within him reacted immediately; he could feel it hum and answering the call of her magic. It felt both peaceful and overwhelming at the same time.

Cullen wondered, what more had she learned over these past months?

He took a sharp breath when he could feel the lyrium leave his body, burning away like small timber. It gave him chills throughout his body. He inhaled deeply when the magic finally ebbed away, and he felt cleansed and whole again. A little disorientated, he opened his eyes. Solas had moved next to them and offered his hand to help Eirlana up. He hadn't even heard him approach.

Looking at him, she smiled. “Thank you for coming and honouring our friendship. I won't ask secrecy from you. You may tell everyone what has occurred here.”

She pulled out a satchel from a small bag she carried. “Here this is for the others. It is not as effective as my abilities, but it will help them. I am sorry, but I can't risk it to meet them.”

Still, a little dazed, Cullen took it. “I will see to it that they get it.”

“ I have included the recipe to make more. Adan or any other skilled alchemist should be able to make them.”

Solas suddenly whipped his head around and stared up the walls of Skyhold. They could faintly hear some guards talking. He turned back and pulled Eirlana's hood up. “I am sorry, my love. It is time to leave.”

She nodded and gave Cullen a smile. “Farewell.”

Then she turned around and walked back to one of the bigger oak trees.

Cullen watched her before focussing again on Solas.

Solas studied him before he spoke. “I have to thank you for protecting her when I couldn't. I will never forget what you have done for her. I hope that our paths won't cross when you are operating in the name of the Chantry or the Inquisition. Live well, while time remains.”

He inclined his head and then joined Eirlana. Cullen noticed when he turned he had the same elvish ear ornament that she wore. Only his was crafted from dark metal.

Solas transformed into a giant wolf again and crouched down so Eirlana could climb on his back. Watching them, Cullen stood up and immediately could feel a difference in his body. Gone was the stiffness and the pain he was used to. He huffed, not even remembering a time when he wasn't in discomfort. His head was clear, and the constant calling for lyrium had disappeared.

“Goodbye, Cullen.” Eirlana said to him.

“Goodbye.” he answered. “Eirlana. I... please stay safe.” he then raised his voice a little. “And you! Don't you dare to leave her again, or a swear by the Maker I will...”

The wolf turned his head and closed slowly his to many eyes, as if he was acknowledging him. Eirlana smiled at Cullen and ruffled Solas fur. Cullen watched as they both turned invisible and a trail of paw-prints and disturbed snow let into the darkness. By now, it was snowing heavily, and Cullen knew that their tracks would be gone by the morning. Wondering what the future would bring, he walked back to Skyhold. At that moment, he shared Solas' sentiment and hoped he would never be forced to face Eirlana as an enemy.

.

Solas ran over the mountain passes. His heart tugged as he felt Eirlana's sorrow as they left Skyhold behind. He could understand her pain. She had given up so much to be at his side and would face even more heartbreaking decisions in the future. It was a fate he couldn't spare her from.

Suddenly her hand stroked the fur by his ear. Now they were truly bonded; she could feel his sorrow as he could feel hers. There was a spike of gratitude towards each other as they knew they were not alone.

Travelling through the snow, they went to face an uncertain future. But they knew one thing for sure. Being bonded, they would face it together.

.

This is the end so far. I can't wait for DA 4 to blow our minds again with long lost secrets and hidden lore. And our next heartbreak that will come (thnx Bioware ;p)

We already know that the next wizard in our party will have some hidden agenda. And I hope we will finally be able to romance a dwarf.

Until we meet again, for I am not finished writing fanfiction in the epic world of Dragon Age

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Livestream Chat Log: Hello, Dolly!

Chat log from a couple of weeks ago: Valera casually jailbreaks Alastor and Sir Pentious out of Hell to take them to Broadway in the living world.

Alastor

((Somebody Patiently Preparing Tiny Food is the exact sort of bullshit on alastor's secret Kinds Of ASMR That I Watch list))

Valera

[[ good because that's what their pre-game theatre experience. everyone has to sit on val's bed and watch videos

Alastor

well if the pregame show is videos of tiny food cooking then Alastor is gonna just. Sit on Val's bed. and 100% zone out over these tiny food videos

he is Extremely Vulnerable to asmr

Sir Pentious

If they're all on the bed, then they're all getting wrapped up in Pentious. That's the rule.

Valera

Well damn, if she's getting wrapped in Pentious then Pentious is getting wrapped in HER. Not Alastor though, that would be invasive.

Sir Pentious

"ISss IT A HOUSE OF GIANTS OR IS EVERYTHING SMALL? WHAT IS THIS ASMR's STORY?"

Valera

"It's tiny food cooking ASMR. You just watch people make tiny edible things."

Alastor

"He's cooking for a doll house." He's gonna. Like. Pull Sir Pent's tail onto his lap.

ASMR means Alastor is 90% hypnotized but not too hypnotized to claim The Tail

Sir Pentious

The eyes are gonna look at you Alastor. He is looking. Sir Pentious tilts his head to the side, "BUT WHY??? THE DOLLsss CANNOT HAVE IT, AND CERTAINLY, EATING IT WOULD TAKE SSUCH A SHORT TIME."

Alastor

Gonna take him a minute to process the question. "... Pleasure of making it, I think."

Sir Pentious

Penny turns his head like. Upsidedown backwards to look at Alastor. He's long he can do this, "OH, SSSSO, THIS IS MORE OF AN ENDEAVOR OF 'THEY SAID I COULDN'T AND SO I DID IT'???" He rights himself, "IN THAT CASE, I CAN TOTALLY GET BEHIND IT! ONE MORE!!"

Valera

"Alright."

"Just say when you see one you like."

Alastor

Video's over, Alastor's blinking like he just came out of a trance. "More or less, yes!" Blink. "... When did you get here?"

Sir Pentious

" "

Valera

"He.. He wrapped around you."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious blinks at him, "I-- IS THAT A MINIATURE RESTAURANT"

Valera

"Yes."

Alastor

"... So he did!"

Valera

"That is the weirdest pepper shaker. Lets find a better one."

Sir Pentious

"OH, I SSUPPOSE THIS ISN'T REALLY ASMR ANYMORE. THE MUSIC IS NOT OFF PUTTING, AT ANY RATE."

Alastor

Regards this mini KFC video SUSPICIOUSLY. "Oh, fast food."

"The sound design wasn't very good in that one, anyway."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious moves himself so that he's leaning on his elbow and looking at Alastor. Hi.

Valera

"The pancakes will do, this channel doesn't put obnoxious music over their videos."

Alastor

Too late, new video has started with Good Sound, he's once again lost to the world.

Valera

Val can move herself out of the way if need be?

Sir Pentious

NO!!!

Valera

She's gonna wriggle to get out of the way. She is giving them room. It's happening.

Sir Pentious

Pentious looks vaguely alarmed!!!! "WHERE ARE YOU GOING???"

Nothing like Pentious Volume during ASMR videos.

Valera

"Out of the way? You're moving around, I figured you needed some room."

"Ah, another or should we go?"

Alastor

Alastor's ears twitch a little at Pentious Volume but they also twitch at every single little click and scrape sound in the video so that's not saying a lot re: his alertness to his environment

Sir Pentious

Pentious looks at Alastor, then slithers off the bed, "I AM READY WHENEVER YOU ARE, MY DEAR."

Alastor

Oh he's awake again. "Whenever everybody else is ready to go! I suppose with time travel there's no urgency to arrive on time, is there?"

Valera

"There certainly isn't. This was all a con, I tricked you both into sitting around quietly." Well. Relatively quietly.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious stands... well. Poises. He is ready to be off, though he suspects that they were going to be transformed in some way, his hands are placed neatly behind him as he waits, "I HAVE NEVER BEEN TRANSFORMED BEFORE, OUTSIDE OF MY ARRIVAL IN HELL. LET'S SEE WHAT YOU HAVE FOR ME, VALERA."

Alastor

"Oh, are you going to be handling disguises, then?" Alastor had been prepared to handle his own, but he's kind of curious what Valera can do—is it going to end up being how he looked in life or is she just going to make something up?

Valera

"I am! Pentious and I can hardly show up looking like we do, and.. Well. You'd have an easier time blending in, but I think people would stare." A chuckle, and Val hops off the bed to come stand before Pentious. Her hands reach up to grab his shoulders, and.. In a sort of rippling, like the air got hot around them, he suddenly changes into Pentious ala Life, being supported by a fish holding his tiny human frame up.

Sir Pentious

Much alike to the conversation shared by Alastor and Pentious before, it would be easier to describe a Cobra first, and then say what was different. Pale as death, with bags under his eyes and quite the skinny frame--he's no longer towering over Valera, but at a neat and tidy 6'1". Long black hair that hangs down his mid-back, a grey and black pinstripe suit--the eye on his chest now replaced by a pendant. He was still wearing the bowtie he was given by Alastor. His eyes seemed to retain their eerie Hellish hue, but it looked more bloodshot than demonlike--even his hat was disguised! He wants to admire himself, but instead he's met with a /groan/, and finds himself slumping against Valera's much taller body, his legs totally giving out under him. Oh, this was very alarming.

Alastor

He automatically steps forward, reaching out to try to support Sir Pentious but stopping short of touching him. "You all right?" Oh, now that's a full transformation! And based on Sir Pentious's reaction, it seems to be material, not just an illusion pasted on top. (Either that, or it's just very uncomfortable.) Alastor's going to have to learn that trick.

Valera

Valera purrs, running her claws through Pentious' hair in comforting strokes. Second time this week her chest has become a cushion for a black haired human! A further conjuring, and she carefully lowers Penny into a wheelchair, blanket tucked over his lower half. And now, to approach Alastor with magic intent...

Sir Pentious

It is an incredibly strange thing to not have any feeling in one's lower body, but especially so when one used to have a different limb there ENTIRELY. He jerks his body to the left, and then remembers he actually has hips. Oh, NO! This is MUCH WORSE than he'd considered,... Sir Pentious is just going to sit in this wheelchair with a distant look in his eyes, considering the fact he is heavily vulnerable. Around people he likes, around people he likes, around people he likes... He's alright, Alastor, just shaken by the change. He hasn't had a human body, or even a humanoid body, in almost a century and a half.

Alastor

Alastor watches Sir Pentious for a moment, concerned—he seems sort of out of it—but maybe that's just the whole "no longer has a tail" thing. Alastor will let him be for a moment.

He turns to Valera, flicks a hand over one ear like he's brushing down his hair, and jokes "Just a little off the top, barber."

Valera

She snorts. "Do you want a shave with that? No no, let me surprise you. I know just the style." One hand reaches out, hesitantly, and with an abundance of signalling, to take Alastor's digits in her own cool, smooth grasp. Her other hand comes to lay on top. A gentle squeeze, another rippling, and Alastor is replaced by.. Well. Whatever he was in life, allegedly. It's a glamour based off memory.

Alastor

Oh he's being surprised. Eesh. Oh he's being touched now? EESH.

From his perspective, nothing has changed. Looking at his hands—well, same gloves, same sleeves. It takes him a moment to realize the world sounds a little different with his ears now on the side of his head—oh he hates that—and another moment longer to discover with his tongue that he's got molars again. Huh. He summons up his microphone cane. "Well, how do I look?"

It glances him up and down. "Like a geek."

"Thanks."

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is still in his own world--but it isn't until Alastor speaks and he DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A RADIO, does the Inventor turn his head to look--he has to mind his neck, it's no longer able to turn backwards. .... Oh, and he can't help the smile on his face, "WHY LOOK AT YOU! I'D ALMOST RESPECT YOU!" GEE, SUCH AFFECTION! But the tone of his voice is currently in banter... Penny has to steer his wheelchair so that he can face Alastor properly.

Valera

She drops his hand as quickly as possible, stepping back to admire her work. Yeah, that's a geek. Oh! Yes, her turn now. She changes herself in a fancy little twirl, no dramatic ripples needed. Valera? A giant fish? Nonsense, she's an endearing little 5'4" wavy haired platinum blonde with sweet brown eyes. A Very Nice Young Lady by All Accounts, modestly dressed for a showing of a new stage production. The same look she'd use for meeting someone's mother. Now back to fussing over Pentious. "How's the wheelchair? Do I need to make adjustments?"

Alastor

Alastor's a lot more mobile at the moment, he repositions himself so Sir Pentious doesn't have to do as much moving around to face him. "Only almost? Glad we haven't gone TOO far, then." He smirks down at Sir Pentious. "And look at YOU. Why, if I didn't know you, I wouldn't immediately notice you're the embodiment of evil itself."

Well, look at the three of them. Alastor has gone from the shortest to the tallest and that's even with losing—he uses his cane to guesstimate—nearly a foot and a half of height.

Sir Pentious

He can't help but laugh at that--no offense taken. Sir Pentious leans on his gloved palm, chuckling as he pats the blanket covering his legs. ... Legs. Very weird to think about, "YES, WELL, IT IS ALWAYS THE ONES YOU DON'T EXPECT, ISN'T IT?" He's still very loud. That might just be a Him thing. He turns his head to face his beloved, and look at how his pupils widen, just a touch. Oh, he is Looking at her. "Valera???" OH!! MY! GOD! He's taken, indeed. And then immediately he's looking away, clearing his throat, "It is satisfactory, I do not feel uncomfortable, mind you I can barely tell I have anything below my waist, it is entirely new sensations."

Valera

What a reaction! Watch it, Pentious, you've got her blushing. In retaliation, she dips down to plant a kiss on his cheek, giggling in place of her usual purr. "Glad to hear it! Now, I already set the box up for us ahead of time, so unless anyone has objections, I can take us straight there!"

Alastor

"It's always the ones with the most innocent-looking smiles, isn't it?" Speaking of, he probably shouldn't be SMILING, should he? That'll look weird in New York. (It looks weird in Hell too, but like, it's kind of his thing.) He'll have to... consider that.

He steps back to give the two of them their moment until Valera addresses them. "Ready whenever you are!"

Sir Pentious

"YES, THAT SOUNDS ALRIGHT TO ME." He clears his throat again, trying to dab any potential lipstick off of his cheek with a handkerchief. He is so pale that bright red or really any color would be all too noticeable. "LET US BE OFF, THEN."

Valera

Don't worry, Pentious. Valera waited until AFTER planting one on you to put her lipstick on. A moment while she checks her makeup.... Okay. "Alright! Lets be off then. One last thing. Both of you still have your physical strength and powers, just to be on the safe side. New York City can be a nasty place." Alright. Warnings done, now she takes Pentious by the hand, Alastor by the cuff of his sleeve (apologetically), and shunts the lot of them off to their prebooked box.

Alastor

He still has his WHAT? In the MORTAL realm? He's pretty sure the mortal realm cancels those abilities out—or maybe it was just having a mortal body, he hasn't exactly had a chance to experiment. Hopefully he won't need to find out.

Well, he's immediately leaning over their box's railing to see what New York City Of The 1960s looks like. From his current vantage point... New York City looks rather like the inside of a theater. Imagine that.

Sir Pentious

Pentious is never, EVER going to get used to that sudden teleportation. It makes him dizzy--as most things do. Good to know that he'd still have his strength, although most of that was in his tail. Now he's wondering if he has a mysterious ghost appendage. Hmm. His seat in the box is nonexistent, meaning it would be perfect for a wheelchair. How accomodating. Penny moves a little closer to the railing so he can peer down as well, a wide smile on his face. "AFTER THIS PERFORMANCE, I SHOULD LIKE TO SEE THE WORLD OUTSIDE--I'VE NEVER BEEN TO NEW YORK MYSELF."

Valera

She moves further into the box, taking a peek into the theatre. Yes, JUST the right view. It was worth shelling out all the money for this. Though while she's here... Pentious having hair is such a novel concept. She is going to Touch It. "Oh of course my love! This is the Earth you hail from, you know! You should see what's changed since you've last been around!" Ohoho, she thinks she's SO funny.

Alastor

Alastor beams at Sir Pentious. "I haven't been here in, oh... well, based on the current time, probably about forty years, give or take!" God, his voice sounds so WEIRD. "I oughta take you two to all the hottest spots and find out whether they're still hot!" As well as find out whether they were wheelchair accessible. Not a concern he'd had last time he was in town.

Sir Pentious

Look at all of these smilers. He flinches when he can feel his hair touched--it doesn't FLOOMP like a hood anymore, just moves as hair should. Long and shiny, beautiful hair. So well kept, he must have brushed it very often. And he did. For hours, if necessary. Sir Pent leaned back against his seat, finding it tiring to try to use his upperbody for leaning forward alone! "MY EARTH, BUT YOUR HOT SPOTS? NYA HA HA!" He still says that, "IT SHOULD BE A TREAT. I LOOK FORWARD TO IT! PERHAPS I'LL ENJOY A 'JAZZ LOUNGE'?"

Valera

Well, let it not be said that this isn't Pentious, weird laughter and all. Valera takes a seat, adjusting her dress as she readies herself. "By all means, Alastor. Wow us! Show us your old haunts. And yes, a jazz lounge. I want to see Pentious listen to jazz music."

Alastor

Oh he kinda wants to touch Sir Pentious's hair too. He'll just. watch.

He tried to remember when they'd started being called "lounges" instead of "clubs," couldn't, and decided the difference wasn't that important. "Sure—if I can figure out where they're hiding jazz these days!" And if he could figure out where all three of them could sit together without anyone stirring up a brouhaha at the sight. What was segregation in the 60s in NYC like? Probably better than the 20s, but he hadn't kept up with mortal realm politics after death. "Maybe we can pick up a secondhand trumpet somewhere and I can squeeze onto the stage, show you two what I can REALLY do."

Sir Pentious

He's probably not okay with being touched by Alastor just yet, but, give him time to settle down. He's reached for his fiance's hand, lacing fingers with her as he waits for the show to begin, "HA HA HA! YOU WOULD INTERRUPT THE SHOW HERE? OF COURSE YOU WOULD."

"OH, I WAS DEAD. HA!"

Alastor

"I meant at a jazz club! They tend to take that sort of thing more lightly than Broadway."

Valera

"Dead and.. what's the phrase? Raising Hell, my love."

Sir Pentious

"MmmmHmmmm."

Alastor

Sits by Sir Pentious. "But only a couple years dead! It's practically contemporary to you!"

Sir Pentious

"OH IT IS."

Alastor

Oh even the characters walking around are being being musical about it, Alastor's already charmed. :)

Valera

"I bet they'd let Alastor on the stage for this production as an extra."

Sir Pentious

"YOU KNOW, THEY JUST M--" Oh singing!

Valera

"I like her outfit."

Alastor

"And here's our star!" 8)

Valera

"She's pretty! Wish my matchmaker had been so charming."

Sir Pentious

He's trying to speak quietly, but he's still Pentious, "OH! She is really in your style, Valera."

Alastor

"... You met through a matchmaker?"

Sir Pentious

"HM??? OH, NO, NOT VALERA AND I."

"A woman like HER was rare in London. Perhaps in Paris."

Alastor

Well that raises more questions about why Valera was getting matchmade elsewhere.

Valera

"I was briefly engaged to a childhood friend! All Veci of fine breeding see a matchmaker when they reach adulthood."

"I was too busy for marriage though, so I just hired him to work for me instead."

Sir Pentious

Pentious is just idly nodding. This sound about right for himself, too. Well, except that part. HA!

"THIS MUSIC feels very much like your STYLE, Alastor!"

Alastor

"Really! Lucky I'm not Veci then. Although I doubt I would have been considered 'of fine breeding' anyway."

Sir Pentious

Snort.

Alastor

The brightest smile. "You know, it IS my style."

Valera

Snrk

"It's jaunty! But I'm sure your breeding was perfectly fine, my good fellow."

"This guy sucks."

Alastor

Snorts at "impractical seven-foot-tall nincompoop." He's gonna remember that the next time he needs to drag himself.

Valera

PRACTICALLY UNINTENTIONAL... Pffffffffff

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious is GIGGLING!

Alastor

"I wouldn't mind tossing out a great-grandparent or two, but aside from that I think it isn't bad."

Oh good they're having a good time already. Alastor just... llleans a little closer toward Sir Pentious's seat.

Sir Pentious

"IT'S TRUE. NYA HA HA!!"

Valera

"Oh, what a lofty title!"

Alastor

"Those two remind me of your eggs. They've got that air of... golly-gee-whiz about them."

Sir Pentious

The closer one leans to him, the more noticeable it is the little sounds he makes idly. Humming, but spotty. Audible swallowing, the like.

Valera

Nudges Penny with an elbow

Sir Pentious

"YOU KNOW, I WAS JUST THINKING THE SAME THING. HE REMINDS ME OF ME A LITTLE!"

Valera

"I was thinking the same!"

Sir Pentious

He's so glad his eggs aren't here.

Valera

"Though you ask me to do that nonsense and I'm liable to flip you like a pancake."

Alastor

"If I remember correctly, there's a rather sly reprise of this one later."

Valera

"Pentious. Saying it now, you're in charge of the plumbing."

Sir Pentious

"OH, EXCELLENT! And Valera, if I should get a stable, I'll let you know, HEE HEE HEE!"

Alastor

Right now Alastor's identifying with that long-suffering horse in the middle patiently enduring all these men singing about heterosexuality.

Sir Pentious

HE'S LAUGHING, COVERING HIS FACE. Why does this remind him of himself and Valera.

Valera

Snrk snrk.. "Alastor, was there a reason you suggested this show?"

"She's even less subtle than I am!"

Alastor

"Because the two of you like The Mikado! All the matchmaking comedy, dancing around arbitrary social rules to try to hook up a bunch of little pairs—I thought you'd appreciate this plot too."

Sir Pentious

He turns and smiles at Alastor! "Well chosen, I am having a good time, Alastor! You know me too well."

Alastor

He's beaming just about wide enough to split his face in half. "I try."

Is Alastor leaning a little bit closer? He is.

Valera

Hum... A tap at her chin as she squints at the actress. "I may have to steal this look. The lace is impeccable."

Sir Pentious

"You really Ought to, but you'd never catch me in a Bowler."

Alastor

"The costumes here are even better than the production I saw."

Sir Pentious

"IN HER UNDER--WAHA HAHA!!!"

Valera

"A card for every occasion!"

Alastor

Glances thoughtfully at Sir Pentious's hat. "... Can your hat still shapeshift like this? Or is it locked into one shape while we're disguised?"

Sir Pentious

He leans on his hand, smiling at Alastor. And he gestures up at his hat. The eye opens up, looking down at Alastor and shining a light on him, before it returns to being a normal hat!

Alastor

Oho! Alastor winks at the hat.

Sir Pentious

"OH, THAT'S GOING TO CATCH--"

Valera

"My goodness!"

Sir Pentious

"YES, my eggs indeed."

Valera

"Best not to let them near the matches, then."

Alastor

"Do you think they'd blow up your ship for a day off? I've always thought them more... slavishly devoted than that."

Sir Pentious

"THEY WOULDN'T BLOW IT UP FOR A DAY OFF. THEY WOULD JUST BLOW IT UP, BY ACCIDENT."

"I MADE THEIR LIMBS SHORT ON PURPOSE."

Alastor

"I could see THAT."

Tapping a foot to the music. Tap tap tap.

Valera

Hmmmhmhmm~ There go her fingers, wiggling to the jaunty tune.

Sir Pentious

"AHAHA!"

Alastor

It's a good thing they have a box, because they would be the most obnoxious people in the theater.

Valera

"You know, I've never actually ridden a train come to think of it."

Sir Pentious

They would be, and they'd have fun with it.

"How colorful! If this were set in London, it would be raining all the time."

SNORT,

Valera

Valera hums a few bars from Johanna....

Alastor

"I'm sure she's got a little card in her purse saying 'Clouds dispersed and rain dispelled.'"

Sir Pentious

"Look at her SLEEVES!"

Alastor

ALASTOR BITES HIS LIP valera PLEASE

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious DOES NOT CATCH ON.

Valera

"Quite the abundance of ruffles!"

Sir Pentious

Prrrr. Well he would. So instead he just drums his own throat.

Valera

She reaches... To take Pentious' hand again. Give.

Sir Pentious

And take it she does. Lacing fingers.

Alastor

Alastor is suddenly seized with a desire to wear an absurdly large floofy hat.

Valera

"The hat doesn't seem THAT provocative?"

Sir Pentious

He gestures to Alastor and Valera, and whispers, "You know, I am so glad that we do not have to worry about any 'oh but they BARELY know each other' drivel. That was unbearable before."

Alastor

Glances at. "Hm?"

Valera

"Psh, quite agreed my love."

Sir Pentious

"Oh--a picture show we watched. There was someone who kept going on and on about how everyone in the movie barely knew one another. That was the only comment they made!"

Alastor

"Sounds painfully dull."

Sir Pentious

He covers his face with his hand! Snort.

Valera

"And they hadn't even been in a relationship! Or at least nothing recent. Speaking from a truly outside perspective."

Alastor

This is an absurdly embarrassing example of flirting and it's DELIGHTFULLY amusing.

And that's when the afternoon went from good to great.

Sir Pentious

Pentious POINTS!!! "Look at that dress, Valera!"

Valera

"I'm looking!"

Sir Pentious

"Unshelled."

Valera

"Wow, suspicious!"

"The NAUGHTIEST man in New York City."

Sir Pentious

He puts his face against Alastor's shoulder, SNICKERING.

Alastor

:)

Leans against Sir Pentious.

Sir Pentious

He squeezes Valera's hand!!! "This AWKWARDNESSsss!!!" He's not even a snake anymore, but he's still dragging his S's."

Valera

"She's quite good at playing both sides of the field."

Alastor

Chokes back a giggle. Oh, the shenanigans are mounting.

Valera

"Oh no! The expensive peanuts!"

Alastor

"The unshelled ones, no less."

Sir Pentious

"HA!!!"

Alastor

"She choreographs them wonderfully, doesn't she?"

Sir Pentious

"I can guess why you wanted this show even more, Alastor."

"Oh! Are they going to fall on the floor with their enthusiasm--There it is!"

Valera

Snrk!!

"Well! They certainly handled it more gracefully than we did."

Sir Pentious

"CERTAINLY."

"Well, /I/ Was fine!"

Valera

"Were you? You wound up on the floor as often as I did!"

Alastor

... Straightens up a bit as he listens to this. Clearly the two of them are having a moment. Shouldn't lean in.

Sir Pentious

"GRACEFULLY!"

Valera

"So you say, my love!"

"Alastor, you really must try dancing with Pentious. His version of the waltz is ingenious, but damnably difficult to pick up."

Sir Pentious

He leans on his hands, grinning.

"YES, OF COURSE. TRY NOT TO TRIP YOURSELF UP, ALASTOR."

Valera

She's going to plant a peck on the corner of Penny's mouth. Then hand him her handkerchief. For the lipstick.

Alastor

"Why, Sir Pentious, I was told just a few days ago that you DON'T dance. I'd thought at the time it couldn't be true, but who was I to question it?"

Sir Pentious

He puts a few fingers to his pendent, looking offended, "What! Did you hear that from me? I simply CANNOT recall."

Alastor

"Not from you, no." Pointed glance past Sir Pentious toward Valera. What misinformation you've been feeding him.

Sir Pentious

He is dabbing his cheek with his handkerchief.

Valera

She grins! "Well

I'd

never danced with him at that point, I didn't know if he could!"

Sir Pentious

He's closing his eyes, listening.

Valera

"Dear Penny wont be doing any somersaults on stage, certainly."

Sir Pentious

A fool among fools, or a fool alone. He's gonna remember that.

Alastor

Mumble mumble "Hm, if I'd known you didn't know I could've said."

Valera

"Hm? What was that, dear fellow?"

Alastor

... Oh mumbling, he forgot that was a thing he used to be able to do. He's got a volume dial again! He can say things under his breath! Wow!

Sir Pentious

Penny looks RIGHT AT ALASTOR, "SSPEAK UP, ALASTOR, DID YOU SAY SOMETHING?"

Alastor

Ah, he's being paid attention to. "I'd thought the dancing was a difference between universes! That's all."

It's Angel Dust.

Valera

"Did your own Pentious dance?"

Alastor

"He did! Still does, I presume."

Sir Pentious

He's Listening, But He's Also Not Saying Much!

Applause! Applause!

Valera

"Marvelous! Marvelous!"

Alastor

"She has a presence, doesn't she?"

Valera

"She certainly does!"

~~~

INTERMISSION

~~~

Alastor

((i choose to believe that during intermission valera pulled out a phone to watch ASMR on and if they weren't in a box somebody would be leaning over staring at her cell phone like "what scifi star trek bullshit is this))

Valera

[[ LMAO yes

[[ it was watch ASMR on her phone or give in to the urge to sit on Pentious and start brushing his hair more

Sir Pentious

(( HE'D BE GOOGLY EYED

(( just smacking her, "GET OFF OF ME WOMAN WE ARE IN A THEATRE!!"

Valera

[[ SHE'S BEING GOOD!!!

[[ BESIDES THEY'RE IN A BOX SIR

[[ time to let the intermission music play out while everyone gets sorted

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious stretches his arms out.

Valera

Val, hastily putting her phone away.

Alastor

Gets comfortable. "Comfortable" means "already leaning toward Sir Pentious's seat like a paperclip drifting toward a magnet."

Sir Pentious

"Yeees."

Valera

"If I went through life kissing all the time I'd have a MUCH higher body count."

Alastor

"Somehow I managed to make it through my life only doing it twice!"

"And it was two times too many."

Valera

"My condolences!"

Alastor

Oh this is one of Alastor's favorite gags in the show, he hopes this production pulls it off well.

Sir Pentious

He looks over at Alastor and snickers, "DO YOU THINK SHARP TEETH MAKE IT WORSE OR BETTER? NYA HA HA."

Not that any had sharp teeth right now, but he was having a laugh.

Alastor

"Better." ZERO HESITATION.

Sir Pentious

He claps his hands. This is a great song.

Alastor

... Oh, this production left the gag out. What a pity.

Valera

Valera leans back in her seat. "She's certainly fond of earth tones."

Alastor

Leans over! "In the production I saw, they finished the song, danced off stage, and then came back on stage at the restaurant exhausted from the long walk and still trying to breathlessly sing about elegance."

Valera

"Ah, I suppose they decided to skip it. A shame!"

Alastor

And he's disappointed enough they left that out that he's GOTTA TELL THEM BOTH ABOUT THE JOKE

"It is!"

Sir Pentious

"That IS a good joke."

"HA!"

"Is that you, Alastor?"

Alastor

Side-eye. "Which one?"

Valera

Snrk

Sir Pentious

Penny doesn't say much at all, he's grinning from ear to ear.

Alastor

Props his chin in his hand. "I'd love to be in on the joke, but I don't know which character you're accusing me of being."

Valera

"That's how people talk about me in all the fine restaurants. Mostly the appetite though."

"Oh, the pig lady."

Sir Pentious

"She said DON'T TOUCH ME or something."

"It was very funny."

SNORT

Valera

"Now THAT'S service."

Alastor

LEANS AGAINST SIR PENTIOUS'S SHOULDER. "Oh, because I'm not very touchy?"

LAUGHS at the duck being shot mid-restaurant.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious bumps his shoulder right back, grinning like the snake you know him to be! "YES, EXACTLY THAT REASON!"

Valera

"I don't know, he seems pretty touchy to me." Vaguely confused squint???

Alastor

Exaggeratedly leans his head on Sir Pentious's shoulder. "Oh, you know me! Hate being touched. Can't stand it."

Sir Pentious

"Oh, me neither." He waves a hand, bouncing his shoulder and the deer's head atop it, "Dreadful! Can you imagine? Being TOUCHED." He's still got a hand laced with Valera's. Little squeeze.

Alastor

Bounce. He's gonna lean harder.

He's loving the waiters' dancing. The choreography looks even more complicated sideways.

Valera

This.. Might just be a bit she isn't getting? Best not to question it. She's just going to withdraw her hands back to fold neatly in her lap and focus on the show.

Sir Pentious

He notices that and. Turns to look at her. ??? What happened? Why did she pull away? He's not focused on the show now, just watching Valera.

Alastor

At this point Alastor is leaned over so far that his elbow is now on the wheelchair armrest instead of his own.

Valera

Val is VERY DELIBERATELY focused on the show, Pentious could do a somersault next to her and she wouldn't notice.

Sir Pentious

....... Aaand he handles this gracefully. Just kidding. He's Sir Pentious. So he shrugs Alastor off and sits back, arms folded as he scowls at the stage.

Alastor

Aw. Okay, got it, he took advantage of the bit a moment too long. He'll slouch in his own seat.

Sir Pentious

"HA, LOOK AT THAT. SHE OWNS EVERYONE THERE! WHAT A PRESENCE."

Alastor

"WHAT?!"

He's ON HIS FEET and LEANING OVER THE RAILING

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious looks wide eyed at Alastor, "WHAT?"

Alastor

He's doing a very bad job of trying to regulate his volume. "Nobody told me Louis was in this show!"

Valera

"Oh. Is that a problem?"

Alastor

"A PROB—?! He's the GREATEST— He's—!"

Alastor flops back into his seat, gleefully grinning, the happiest fanboy in the theater.

Valera

"One of the most influential figures in Jazz? I know."

"Thought you might like that."

Sir Pentious

He doesn't know, so he doesn't say much, but he is still looking sour faced, even if he is feeling Called Out By Mr Vandergelder.

Alastor

"Well you were RIGHT."

She's talking circles around him, what a performance.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious has a HEADACHE!

Valera

"You were right to suggest this show, Alastor. I always forget what a force Dolly is."

Alastor

"Isn't she, though!"

Valera

"She's quite a gal! Just the sort I'd either be or want to be friends with!"

Alastor

"You might like Rosie. This musical has always reminded me of her."

Valera

"Oh?"

Alastor

... It is beginning to dawn on Alastor that things are not all going well at the next seat over.

Sir Pentious

Oh, just an old man feeling insulted for one reason or another, reading too much into things!

Alastor

Alastor would rather he be enjoying himself during a comedy musical.

Valera

Snrk

Sir Pentious

"HA."

Alastor

Ah, good, he's recovering. Alastor doesn't need to intervene. Turns back to the show.

Valera

Grumble grumble. "Thank the gods I don't have to hear someone bitching that they barely know each other..."

Alastor

... This is a sappy song, Alastor's going to lean over the balcony again and see if he can see Louis in the orchestral pit from this angle.

Sir Pentious

This is probably the kind of song where he should hold Valera's hand, but the thought of it makes him feel frustrated at the moment because he's PRETTY SURE he did something to upset her in the first place, but he doesn't know what.

He wants to hold HANDS but it's not like they can TALK ABOUT IT.

Valera

The TINIEST sigh

Alastor

Okay, he's done trying to see Louis, he's getting back in his seat.

Valera

Snrk

Sir Pentious

"SHE IS THE MOST DIRECTLY INDIRECT WOMAN THERE IS!"

Valera

"She certainly is."

A low whistle! "Damn, get it girl."

Sir Pentious

"RIGHT ON THE STREET!"

You have no room to speak, Mr Picnic.

Valera

"Picnic, my dear."

Alastor

Slow side-eye.

Picnic???

Sir Pentious

HE IS IGNORING YOU!!!

Alastor

"... Well, this is very different from the production I saw."

Valera

"I like her outfit."

Sir Pentious

"COULD BUY A LOT BACK THEN."

Alastor

"They all got arrested after the brawl at the restaurant."

"I think I like that version better."

Sir Pentious

"HA! ARRESTED? THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER!"

Valera

"I can't tell if she's a gold digger or just a socialist."

Sir Pentious

"OH, HAHA!" He wants to cross his legs, and bounce his leg, but ALAS. No response.

Alastor

"They had Dolly staying at her seat at the restaurant while the brawl went on, switched out the set for a court room, but left Dolly at her table with her dinner—there was an extended gag where she noisily ate her dinner while everyone in the court stared at her, waiting for her to finish so they could start the next scene."

Sir Pentious

He SNICKERS, "OH, I'D RATHER LIKE TO SEE THAT."

Valera

"We'll have to see a production that takes itself less seriously, at some point."

Oh! Wiggly fingers.

Sir Pentious

He is glancing at her fingers.

Alastor

"Maybe only the production company in Hell thought up the gags this show didn't have. We can certainly find out!"

Valera

"Hah! Yes, I'd love to see Hell's take on this."

Alastor

Subtly watches this hand drama going on to his side. Nice thing about looking human: no glowing eyes to give away where he's looking when it's dark.

Valera

She glances over at Pentious, then down at her own hand, and back, cocking an eyebrow.

Sir Pentious

He is looking at that wedding outfit with big eyes.

Valera

Offers? Hand?

Alastor

Considers elbowing Sir Pentious and telling him to take it. That'll probably just annoy him.

Considers reaching across Sir Pentious and taking it himself. That'll DEFINITELY annoy him.

Sir Pentious

He unfortunately is distracted by the APPLAUSE!

ROARING APPLAUSE!

Alastor

THAT'S FAIR, so is Alastor. He's leaning over the balcony to see when the spotlights highlight the band in the orchestra for their turn at the applause.

Valera

SIGH! But it's hard to be miffed, the show was more than good enough to warrant such an uproar

Yes yes, applause for the fine musicians.

Sir Pentious

He's so used to his hood floomping out when he's startled, it's weird that it doesn't right now. Hair. He is clapping along.

Alastor

"Well that was a delight! What a show!" Flops back in his seat.

Valera

"A truly excellent performance. I greatly enjoyed myself."

Sir Pentious

"IT WAS BETTER THAN I'D ANTICIPATED, GREATLY."

Valera

"Alastor, why don't you get yourself an autograph from Louis? I know he's signing them tonight."

Alastor

"I'm delighted it met with both of your approval!" Smirks at Sir Pentious. "I think that's approval, anyway."

Starts. "Is he??"

Valera

"Yes! I checked before I brought you here."

Alastor

Hand over heart. "Well, aren't you the most thoughtful alien I've ever met!"

Valera

"Depends! How many aliens have you met, my dear fellow?"

Sir Pentious

"YOU BETTER ACT FAST-- IT ALMOST SOUNDS LIKE THEY'RE GOING TO EAT THE FOOLS DOWN THERE WITH ALL THIS EXCITEMENT."

Alastor

"One. So I guess that makes you the most inconsiderate, too!"

"Oh, you're right. Do pardon me! If I don't find you back here, I'll meet you out on the sidewalk." A farewell nod, and he melts into the shadows.

Valera

Oh good, he's gone. Now she can start staring Pentious down.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pent had about the same idea! He turns to face her, squinting with irritation, "DO YOU MIND TELLING ME WHAT

THAT

WAS ALL ABOUT???"

Valera

"I could ask you the same! What had you so grouchy?"

Sir Pentious

"YOU PULLED YOUR HAND AWAY WHILE I WAS HOLDING IT! AND YOU WOULD NOT LOOK AT ME AFTER!" He scowls, "DO I LOOK DISGUSTING TO YOU OR SOMETHING?"

Valera

"I--" She stops. Squints. "Wait. You think you look disgusting?"

Sir Pentious

His eyes widen, and he GLARES, turning his head away, "DO NOT TRY TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT! WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU! AND NO, I AM NOT DISGUSTING! BUT CLEARLY, YOU DID NOT WANT TO

TOUCH

ME, SO YOU HAVE SOME SORT OF PROBLEM WITH MY PRESENCE!"

Valera

"I do not want to stop touching you, Pentious. I can't believe that's a thing I have to say to my fiance. I withdrew because I didn't know how to proceed with the.. bit? You and Alastor were having. It wasn't disgust."

Sir Pentious

Penny's arms fold tighter, and his shoulders raise as he continues to frown. His tail would be flicking irritably, had it been present. "THAT IS NO REASON TO PULL AWAY, AND TO IGNORE ME. I AM NOT

STUPID

, VALERA. I SAW YOU REFUSING TO LOOK AT ME."

Valera

"I promised that I wouldn't ignore you, remember? I was focusing on the show. You know. The stage production we came to see. Did you try to get my attention?"

Sir Pentious

He realizes that she's trying to put the onus on him! When he CLEARLY did nothing wrong--Sir Pentious takes in a deep, GRUMPY breath, exhaling just as grumpy! "PUTTING IT ALL ON ME? SO WHAT IF TWO MEN HAVE A BIT OF A JOKE TOGETHER. IT WAS NOT THAT 'DEEP', YOU COULD HAVE SIMPLY ASKED ME WHAT WAS GOING ON!"

Valera

An irritated little huff!!! "Pentious. I am not angry about you and Alastor having a joke. I want you two to get along. Why did you immediately go straight to that as the source of the problem?"

Sir Pentious

"BECAUSE HE WAS UPON MY ARM, AND YOU LET GO OF ME. I DO NOT KNOW HOW YOU THINK! IT SEEMED THE MOST LIKE CAUSE AND EFFECT!"

Valera

"Then ask? Don't just assume and get mad at me over it?"

Sir Pentious

"/YOU/ COULD HAVE ASKED, TOO!" Eye twitch. "BUT NOW WE ARE HERE, HAVING THIS RIDICULOUS ARGUMENT OVER A NONSENSICAL SITUATION THAT DOES NOT MATTER AT ALL, AND I FEEL AS THOUGH I AM ONCE AGAIN THE SOURCE OF ALL OF YOUR AGONY." Oh, that's some insecurity right there. He shifts, grabbing at the blanket to squeeze the fabric between his fingers.

Valera

Ah. Okay. Alright. Well that wont do. She's just going to bend down to put her face RIGHT in his and put one of her hands over his. "Pentious. If I were in agony as you put it, I'd have said something. Minor anxiety over not understanding a joke is hardly grounds for interrupting an otherwise good time. I moved my hand away because I was distressed, I don't know what else you read into it. But I will be clear. You are my fiance, I love you, and I'm still attracted to you no matter what form you take."

Sir Pentious

He is not Looking. Eye contact is not happening at this moment, but he is listening. At least, his face is inclined towards hers. Pentious is at the very least looking down at her hand, placed on one of his. There's that constant drumming to FIGHT inside of his mind, it makes his throat dry and his heart race with fury. But what sort of fight would this be? Uneven, unsatisfying, and not a very happy day at all. So he just nods his head, though his expression is still strained.

Valera

She glances around, making sure Alastor didn't meander his way back while they were distracted, and she leans in, nose bumping affectionately against Pentious' cheek. "Penny. We both could have asked, neither of us did. I offered my hand again at the end when I finally saw you looking, but you were distracted staring at the wedding. Now hold my hand before Alastor gets back and you clamp up tighter than a rusted hinge."

Sir Pentious

Penny's breath catches in his throat, and now his heart is pounding for a different reason. He's so pale and thin that Valera can likely hear, if not feel, his pulse. Red eyes look towards her, and he rigidly takes her hand, squeezing it tight, a deep breath filling his lungs.

Valera

"Good. Now remember. You're my fiance. I love you. I want to be with you." She pauses, nuzzling his face

more

. "This whole show I've wanted to sit in your lap and play with your hair. Terrible, I know. But I've behaved!"

Sir Pentious

OH. He swallows HARD, staring up at her. "I..." Would not be opposed. NO, YOU DEFINITELY WOULD BE, PENTIOUS. STRAIGHTEN UP, MAN. He coughs, clearing his throat and correcting his posture,, "WELL, THANK YOU FOR REMAINING BEHAVED. YOU'D TRAUMATIZE THAT OLD FOOL WITH BEHAVIOR LIKE THAT."

Valera

"Old fool? Dear, you're older than him by a fair bit, unless my ability to gauge human ages is way off base."

Sir Pentious

LET HIM HAVE THIS, VALERA

Valera

Never.

Alastor

Speaking of the old fool, guess who melts out of the shadows right then! "You know, I didn't actually expect you to wait for me!"

Oh, they're holding hands again. good to know whatever THAT was has been resolved.

Sir Pentious

Pentious' head whips around to look at Alastor, and he PULLS HIS HAND AWAY, as if the sight of them holding each other would allow the Radio Demon to see the EXTREMELY IMPURE THOUGHTS running through Pentious' mind. Also he hurt his neck turning that fast, and is now cradling it.

Valera

Val is all prepared to greet Alastor with a friendly hello, but then Pentious acts like Alastor caught them in bed together and she just. Stares at her beau with the most BAFFLED expression. "Wh..??" Ahem. "Welcome back, Alastor. Did you get your autograph?"

Alastor

... Huh. Oh. HE'S the problem.

"I certainly did!" He waves a record of the song Louis sang with an autograph on the record sleeve; and then offers over a SECOND one. "I thought you two might like a souvenir as well."

Sir Pentious

DON'T LOOK AT HIM, HE CANNOT ESCAPE!!! He cannot hide in his hood like before!!! So he just sits there, red faced. It's so very noticeable with how pale he is.

Alastor

"But don't let me"—make things awkward with his very presence, as per the Radio Demon's usual modus operandi?—"interrupt your conversation! I can wait outside the theater."

Valera

Val gives Pentious a little pat on the shoulder, and stands upright. "No, we were done. Penny's just embarrassed because I'm being terrible and improper. It's my fault. Don't worry about it. And thank you for thinking of us, you're so sweet." Pent is out of commission, so she'll take the record.

Sir Pentious

Don't mind him, he's just screaming inside of his head. Valera may also have to wheel him out of there, since all of his thoughts are on trying to think of aNYTHING ELSE. He's biting on the cuff of his leather glove. Everything is fine, he'll be fine. Having some air would be grand!

Alastor

And Sir Pentious isn't even talking to Alastor now. Yep. Should have waited outside. Duly noted.

Nothing he can do about it now, though. He pulls the curtain of their box open. "Then shall we?"

Valera

So! They! Shall!!!

[nearlyfandoms-blog]

Artemis and Orion - Chapter One

Summary: Sixth-year Ravenclaw, Valerie Halliwell, had spent the past five years a bright, successful student at Hogwarts. However, when she arrives home from her OWLs to find her younger sister missing, she can’t help but blame herself. Over the course of the summer, she slowly loses herself, becoming a shell of the person she once believed to be her true self. Upon arriving at her sixth year at Hogwarts and cutting herself off from her past self almost entirely she finds solace in a new group of companions, the Marauders. Valerie’s life finally seems to be on the upswing once more. However, Voldemort and his group of Death Eaters grow stronger and stronger, becoming more prevalent in the public eye, lashing out more frequently in more violently. The group once viewed as a powerless fringe company of dark wizards grow more and more powerful everyday and those, like Valerie, who believed themselves to be safe from the threat find themselves in constant danger. As the threat against Valerie and her family escalates in ways no one could foresee she may be forced to abandon the new life she has cultivated for herself for the good of her family and the ones she loves; the ones who love her the most.

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading the first chapter of this series! I hope you all enjoy it and I would love to hear what you all think. To be fair, I’m not the best at writing summaries so I hope that the one above does enough justice to the story. Let me know if anyone has any suggestions for it as the story goes one! Also, just a fair warning, this chapter is very expositional but I tried to make it as interesting as possible. Again, thank you so much for reading! I hope you’re all having a lovely day/night!

- nearlyfandoms

0.1

Silence. That’s what my life has boiled down to, a constant state of silent anxiety. An inescapable dread that my life had become unhinged and was spiralling wildly out of control coupled with the feeling that I was helpless, yet it was my own doing. My fate had little to nothing to do with me. At least, that’s what it had taken a summer to convince myself. My entire vacation away from Hogwarts was spent in a continuous cycle of sleeping, hardly eating, crying, and sitting in introspective silence. Each day continued the same. I had lost contact with all of my friends. Every week their letters arrived and every week a new piece of parchment was accumulating on my bedside table inside of my almost equally as silent and dreary household. I guess that’s how I ended up like this, sitting inside an empty cabin on the Hogwarts express on my way to my dreaded sixth year, the shell of who I used to be.

While boarding the Hogwarts Express for the past five years I had been filled with nothing but excitement. The joy of beginning another new and magical year at the world’s most prestigious school of witchcraft and wizardry was beyond thrilling. I would finally get to see my best friends and Ravenclaw peers after a long summer in my hometown of London. They were the ones who understood me. My mother tried to help me with the feelings of being lost outside of school. However, she lacked the experience to properly understand the sensation of being stranded in a world of people who were unlike me. I had my father, a fellow Ravenclaw, but he worked almost constantly, especially this summer. Who could blame him though? My house was the last place that I wanted to be too.

When I boarded the train home for the summer I had been the picture of Ravenclaw excellence; a bright, happy-go-lucky girl who never got less than excellent marks in any of her classes and spent her free time studying in the company of friends. Only three months later I boarded the same car a shell of the person I once was. I’d seen my closest friends Levi, Delilah and Carson sitting in a compartment with an empty seat I knew was reserved for me. My heart clenched when I saw that seat. It represented the five years of friendship that they were willing to preserve despite the numerous unanswered letters I’d received this summer. I was a terrible person. It was selfish of me but I couldn’t handle speaking to them again after the way I’d treated them over the summer. Instead of joining them in their compartment I walked hurriedly past and found an empty one for myself at the back of the train.

It was cold and I was completely and utterly alone. My mind wandered to thoughts of my beloved younger sister, Cheryl. Our situations were probably comparable. This is where the trouble that lead to my entire family’s downward spiral had begun. I arrived home from my fifth year at Hogwarts, excited as ever to see my family again. My sister was unaware of my father and I’s shared magical capabilities due to the fact that she did not inherit these traits as I had. She believe that I had been attending an all girls preparatory school for advanced studies in marine biology. It was a flimsy excuse, but she never questioned it. Cheryl wrote me frequently. Before she would send them my father would have to catch them as they were being delivered to the mail carrier and deliver them by owl. However, a few weeks before the end of school, in the middle of my O.W.L.s her letters had abruptly stopped. I didn’t pay much mind to it.

It wasn’t until I arrived home near the end of May that I was told she had run away from home a few weeks prior. During a particularly stressful night Cheryl had written me a letter and addressed it to the address she’d been writing to for years. She managed to deliver the letter to the post and received a letter a few days later from the headmaster of the school informing her that there had never been a Valerie Halliwell at her school. After confronting my father he confessed the truth about my whereabouts and his heritage. My mother was furious as she was the one that wished to keep it a secret from Cheryl until she was older. Being a muggle, my mother thought she could understand her better than my father and I. I suspect that Cheryl thought herself responsible for the sudden uptake in nightly arguments between our parents in the weeks before I returned from school. She left late in the night close to the beginning of May, a short note having been left behind as her only explanation. I’d reread her note thousands of time and the crumpled remains were currently stuffed in my pocket. My hands instinctively went to the pocket of my jeans to make sure the yellowed paper was still there. I couldn’t help but pull it out and scan over the scrawled and frantic handwriting one more time.

Dear Mum, Dad, and Val,

I’m sorry I’m such a nuisance and I’m sorry that I’ve done this to our family. Maybe it’d be for the better if I was somewhere else. Please don’t look for me, just know that I’m okay. I love you all.

- Cheryl

Tears pricked at the backs of my eyes. I’d practically memorized the letter by now. If only my parents had told me earlier, I could’ve stopped her. I believe that she is safe, she was clever enough to protect herself in tricky situations. However, she was still only fourteen and nothing would reassure me more than knowing she was at home and safe. I spent every waking moment worried about her wellbeing. It got to the point where I had stopped paying any mind to my own physical and mental wellbeing. My cheeks had hollowed significantly and everything about me was clearly on the decline, inching further and further away from stability with every breath.

I remember arriving home from the train station by cab. My parents sat in the living room in silence, a pointed glare being the only interaction that the two had probably shared for the preceeding hour before I arrived. My mood sunk immediately and my mind flushed with worry. I recall asking them what was the matter in a tentative and shaking voice. When they explained that my  younger sister had been missing for three weeks my sketchbook clattered from my hands and landed with a thud onto the hardwood floors. My mother started to cry. My father disregarded her and instead rose to embrace me. This was the first sign that anything was different between them. Typically, my father would immediately go to comfort my mother, but this time he brushed her off like a piece of dust that clung to his jacket. My mind was too frozen in a state of shock to react in any way. Burly arms embraced my small frame and rubbed my back soothingly but I could only remain still. My life hadn’t been the same since then.

My room, stacked floor to ceiling with my favorite records from muggle bands such as The Beatles and The Rolling Stones now felt foreign and strange. My earth-toned tapestries were falling from their posts above my bed. My bedding sat practically undisturbed as most nights I would fall asleep on the floor, a stack of pictures of Cheryl and I as children in hand. Sleeping in my own bed felt too normal, like I’d be disregarding the current situation and be accepting a life without Cheryl as normal. The girl with curlier hair than mine and innocent green eyes was only two years younger than me but I still felt an almost maternal instinct to protect her. A 14 year old with little to no experience in the real world could not be alone out there. Some parts were dark and twisted and there was so much brewing below the surface that she could never comprehend. A sadistic, elitist dark wizard with abilities the likes of which were previously unseen in the wizarding community was on the rise and he threatened not only the witches and wizards but the entire world. The majority of the population had no idea of the grave threat that they faced.

My family, however, was burdened with the knowledge of this crushing reality and, in an effort to restore some of the normalcy we once possessed, planned a family dinner the night before my return to school. My mother cooked my favorite, chicken alfredo with basil pesto, and bought some of my favorite cookie dough ice cream. However, there was no light-hearted conversation or laughter between bites to brighten the setting. There was only silence and the soft smacking of our chewing. If anything the gathering did nothing but make me feel worse about my situation and myself. I’d never felt so much self-pity in so little time before. I was supposed to be stronger than this. The only conversation that was had during the dinner was my father asking if I was excited for potions class this year. He excitedly told me about how advanced potions had been his favorite class throughout all of his seven years at Hogwarts. His professor had been Professor Seville, a young man not much older than the majority of the sixth years. All the girls fawned over him relentlessly while all the boys wanted to be him. He had been a 7th year prefect when my father was a first year. The amount of detail with which my father was able to recount his first time meeting the older boy was astounding as it’d been close to 35 years. I made this point clear to my father and he jokingly reminded me that he was “38 years old”. A smile stretched across his face, accompanied by the faintest hint of a laugh. The only positive that could be gleaned from that drawn out and borderline torturous hour was that faint glimmer of joy. It was hope; hope that things could return to normal, hope that tomorrow Cheryl would walk through our front door and that our lives would return to the way they were before all of this happened. Deep down all three of us knew that there was no way that was going to happen.

I was pulled suddenly from my reverie by a knock on the compartment door. Through the small glass pane I could see the trolley witch with a smile on her face outside the door. I didn’t have the motivation to get up or the gold to buy anything right now so I simply resigned to giving her a small smile and shaking my head sadly. The older woman gave me a sympathetic smile before turning back to her cart and beginning to holler her offerings of sweets down the corridor to the next compartment. Memories of eating chocolate frogs and comparing which notable wizard we each received with Carson, Delilah and Levi flashed through my mind. A small smile tugged on my lips as I remembered the time Carson accidentally ate a handful of Ernie Bott’s beans and when Levi went to buy some candy but was so startled by the girl he fancied that he dropped all his coins on the floor at her feet. Oh how I wished those could be the times I knew were still to come. Everything was inherently different now and no matter how hard I tried there was nothing I could do to fix it.

An hour or so later the train lurched to a stop. Several voices filled with excitement started to fill the compartments and cars as my peers flooded the halls. There were so many familiar faces that passed by. I couldn’t help but wonder if I would look as different to them as I felt? I waited about five minutes from when the last person passed by to stand and collect my things. The familiar itch of the cotton robes covered my body once more and I found an odd comfort in it, like receiving a hug from a beloved yet distant relative. My footsteps echoed as I hurried out of the train to catch up with the crowd of people getting into carriages to go to the castle. The first carriage I found contained a sixth year Gryffindor that I’d seen passing in the halls a few times. I didn’t know her name but she was pretty with fair skin and reddish hair that fell past her shoulders and framed her slender features. She smiled sweetly at me and gestured for me to join her. It only took a few moments of hesitation before I climbed in next to her. We didn’t say much. We gave each other glances that let me know that she knew who I was but was unable to put a face to the name, just as I was with her. She was the first to get out of the carriage when we got to the castle, which I was grateful for. If I knew she was behind me, watching me get out, I probably would’ve fallen flat on my face. I planned on thanking her before we left but by the time I was securely on the ground she was already running to catch up with a smaller group before us, her hair swishing gracefully behind her.

A breath of stale air that I didn’t know I’d been holding released heavily from my lips as my eyes landed on the castle for the first time in months. I felt like I was going insane. I hadn’t even gone inside yet but already something was different. Was it possible that the castle I’d grown up in could have grown with me too? I told myself this was impossible seeing as I was so small and insignificant in the grander scheme of all the amazing things that were happening within the walls of this school. Some of the finest witches and wizards were growing up here and we didn’t even know it yet. I doubted that I would be among those who fell under the accolade of the finest witches and wizards; perhaps I could have been last year when I was at the top of my class and a favorite of most of my professors, but not this year. Things like that change all the time. Unfortunately, whether we want it to happen or not, so do we.

[lothrilzul]

Winter - ‘Send me a shade of color for my OC(s) to answer’ ask

(I decided to answer the questions with Winter’s current stage in the story. Some answers will change in time, but are accurate in the time span of the last chapter.)

Red -  What makes you angry? @thcsxldicr

“Raiders. I don’t care if what they do is human nature or not, they don’t have the right to do what they do. It bugs me to no end that I can’t do anything against them except wasting my ammunition. There are other things, but this is the most common.”

Maroon - What are you most passionate about? @thcsxldicr

“If you’d ask me a few months ago, I’d said finding my son, few more months before that preparing the house for his arrival, a year and half ago making a name for myself by catching Eddie Winter… but now, I am most compassionate about providing basic living qualities to the settlers that come to live in the Minuteman aligned settlements. God bless those who invented the water purifiers.

“On a more abstract level, I’d like to see the world prosper again. Clean streets, happy, rested people... or you know, a green plant for a change...”

Brick - What are some things you dislike? @marvilus73

“I dislike the atrocities the pre-war companies and corporations did to the people and the world. Those radiation filled barrels everywhere… Even in our immediate neighbouring Red Rocket Truck Stop… And they even won the Trashbusters award for it. Nauseous.”

Sandstone - Who in your life has been the most healing for you? @marvilus73  @scorpio-skies​

“Nate, without doubt. I still miss him sometimes. His mere presence was… a bless. I just relaxed around him and he accepted me with all my flaws. I don’t know if I ever find someone like him.”

Peach - Are you generally a more gentle and soft spoken person or a louder and rougher person? - @scorpio-skies

“That depends. I always try to handle situations with diplomacy, humour, sarcasm, persuasion or mild threatening before I resort to violence. That is, of course, if I don’t have to face mutants, feral or other monsters; they only understand bullets, and I try to keep even that silent with a suppressor.”

Yellow - Are you an optimist or a pessimist? @marvilus73 @val-rampage

“My first thought was to say outward pessimist, just look around the world; there’s not much to be optimistic for. Yet still, I build settlements and help wherever I can. After all, I am hopeless optimistic.”

Dandelion - Would you consider yourself stubborn?​ @val-rampage​

“Those living around me always told me I was, so I suppose yes, I am.”

Marigold - What types of flowers are in your setting? Do you have a favorite? ​ @val-rampage​

“Mutated flowers and wild blossoms, mostly. And artificial flowers, of course. Of all the wasteland flowers, I like the carrot flower most. It’s so comely.”

Blonde - What is your hair color? do you like it? ​ @val-rampage​

“My original hair colour was a warm shade of black and I didn’t pay much attention to it to be honest.

“It’s current colour is silvery gray. It went almost completely gray in a week after I left the Vault, but I saw some black hairs growing back. Currently it’s a steely shade, but I think it will be darker still. Maybe never black again, but not white either. Always in between.

“As for I like it or not… People tend to take me more seriously with my gray hair and wrinkles, but I guess it’s not so attractive.”

Lemon - Are you more of a clean or dirty person? ​ @val-rampage​

“In post-war standards I am clean. I wasn’t dirty even before the war, but I didn't always wash my hands when I arrived home or before eating in a diner. Before cooking I always do, though, especially post-war.”

Safety - What is the most traumatic experience in your life? ​ @val-rampage​

“You mean the second most traumatic after everthing Vault-Tec and the Institute did to me in - what I perceived to be - less than an hour? That would be my c-sec.”

Gold - Would you consider yourself more rich or poor, in comparison to the world you live in? ​ @val-rampage​

“I’m rich in the most important regard; I have some fantastic friends. Preston, Piper, Nick, John and Mac all proved to be fantastic friends and worthy people. I do have a fair amount of caps, too; I need them to fund the settlements. Building costs a lot. Also, my house is bigger than it was before the War, but it’s not the same in regards of comfort, like plumbing or heating. I have more issues of the Unstoppables than I had before the War, which is nice too.”

Butterscotch - Is there candy in the world you live in? If so, do you have a favorite one? ​ @val-rampage​

“Not anymore, only the stale ones that never really expire. From those, I’d say the Fancy Lads Snack Cakes are quite acceptable - in limited doses. I can’t stand Sugar Bombs, I only brought them for Nate. I do miss a proper gummy bear sometimes.”

Daffodil - Do you like trying new things? What is something new you’d like to try? ​ @val-rampage​

“That depends. I wouldn’t try the post-war drugs, but I had to taste the food. I have ambivalent feelings. Tato turned out to be better than I expected, while carrot tastes horrible unless cooked. I’d like to try a wasteland-grown vegetable that doesn’t give me stomach aches in an our due to the radiation.

“Well, it would be nice to have some proper form of transportation. I think I walked more in the last half year than I did in my entire life, before the war. Even a mount would be handy, but I don’t presume horses survived the fallout.”

Sunshine - Are you a more active or lazy person? ​ @val-rampage​

“I can be diligent if I really want to achieve something, that’s how I managed to get my law degree on Harvard, but I don’t put a stop to everything to do stuff I don’t really think are important enough.”

Brunswick - Are you a person who is often jealous? what makes you jealous most often? @scorpio-skies​

“No, I am not. I was once extremely jealous but I overcame it - mostly with Nate’s help. I don’t really want to talk about that; ask John or Deacon for details. They know more about it than I am comfortable with.”

Periwinkle -  Would you consider yourself to be a good parent? what do you think a good parent should be?  @scorpio-skies​

“I don’t know? I only had three months with Shaun? Since I saw him in Kellogg’s memories, that he was about ten year old, healthy and well-educated… I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t need me at all. It would be nice to hear it from him - granted he wants to see me at all -, but to venture to the Glowing Sea to find out… There has to be another way to the Institute...

“Sorry, I’m wandering. If I got him back, we’ll have to figure it out, together.”

Onyx - What are your nightmares most often about?  @scorpio-skies​

“Luckily I don’t really have nightmares. I do dream a lot about Nate - sometimes about Roger too -, but I never wake drenched to bone in sweat. The rare occasions I do are always about my time in the Vault. You must understand.”

You want to send an ask to Winter from the list? I’ll add them in a reblog.

Send me a shade of color for my OC(s) to answer

[megsblackfirewrites]

This Farce Ends Now: Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Joseph did his best not to scream at Mary and her lawyer as they sat opposite each other in the office set aside for them. He’d wanted to do this amicably without needing to involve the courts. Mary had agreed, probably because she knew that they would never give her the kids and it was better trying to weasel something out of him rather than through the courts. And boy was she trying.

“I am not paying her support,” he said calmly.

“Mr. Christiansen, I’m sure you understand that Mary is used to a certain type of living,” her lawyer smiled. “In order to keep up that standard of living….”

“I am not paying for her drinking problem,” Joseph said, nodding to his own lawyer. “And Mary is an architectural engineer; she can surpass what I bring in without too much effort.”

“Mary hasn’t worked in....,” her lawyer tried to argue.

“Three years; after she found out she was pregnant with Crish,” Joseph said. “I’m well aware, sir. However, were she to submit a resume, I’m sure they’d take her back in an instant. She was a model employee.”

“You just don’t want to pay me a cent,” Mary snapped.

“I refuse to pay for your booze, Mary,” Joseph said. “And if you’re going to come after me for support, I’ll come after you for child support. It’s only fair considering I have full custody of four children under the age of ten that still require around the clock care and supervision. And I’m currently unemployed while I finish up some courses that the local Victim Services requires for a full time position.”

Mary paled, but her lawyer shrugged. “That is hardly an issue. We can simply sit on your owing payment.”

“As will we,” Joseph smiled before he sighed. “Look, I’m not here to be a dick. I want this done and over with so we can get on with our lives. You’re free to take half the possessions in the house, so long as none of them are the children’s possessions. I will have full custody of the kids until you’ve cleaned up your act and can prove that you’re not abusing alcohol. Until then, you will have supervised visitation rights.”

“You think that’s reasonable?” she snapped.

“Very reasonable,” Joseph narrowed his eyes.

“And what makes you better suited to raise our children? I’m their mother!”

“Funny how you only seem to use that argument when you think it will benefit you,” Joseph snapped. “You have an alcohol problem, Mary. That’s why you are unfit for custody at this point in time.”

“Or are you just using that as an excuse so you won’t have anyone interrupting you getting fucked by all of your sidewhores?” Mary sneered.

“I never had more than one partner, Mary,” Joseph rubbed at his eyes. “Robert lied to you.”

“And I have to take your word for it?” she sneered.

“Yes,” Joseph said. “But even if Robert hadn’t fed you a steaming pile of lies, my sexual appetite would not make me an unfit parent. Or even my lack of fidelity. That is between us, two rational adults, not my relationship with my children.”

Mary glared at him before smiling sweetly. “Fine. Then I’m taking your yacht.”

“You can take half of the possessions on board the yacht,” Joseph said coldly. “I am willing to sell it and split the sale….”

“You would just jip me,” Mary sneered. “Keep your stupid boat. I’ll sign this agreement. I want this stupidity over with.”

Joseph did his best not to scream as his lawyer handed the paperwork over to Mary’s lawyer. It shouldn’t have been this much of a fight. Why was Mary so determined to hold onto him when she didn’t even like him anymore? Why wasn’t she allowing both of them to move on with their lives? It would have been better than letting these wounds fester like they were.

“I will have these filed right away,” his lawyer said as she clacked the papers against the table to get them straightened out. “Mary, Gerald, it was very nice for you to cooperate with us.”

Mary glared at Joseph as he got to his feet and followed his lawyer out of the office. He rubbed at his eyes, wondering if it really was all over. Was Mary really going to let him walk away like this?

“How’re you feeling?” his lawyer asked.

“Like I’m a few seconds away from throwing myself into the ocean,” Joseph sighed and shook his head. “Thank you, Monique. I appreciate this.”

“It’s my pleasure, Joseph,” she smiled. “The worst is over now. Worry about getting your kids adjusted and happy. I’ll handle the legal bullshit.”

He smiled and shook her hand before heading out to the parking lot. He had to go pick his kids up from soccer practice and retrieve his baby from Brian’s clutches before the kid developed a love for the scent of board shavings.

                                                       ***

“Oh, hello, Luci,” Joseph smiled as Chris’ pet jumped up onto the couch beside him. “Why aren’t you in with Chris?”

Lucifer stared at him for a moment before crawling onto his lap and curling up. Joseph smiled as he ran his hand down the feline’s back and earned a long, happy purr. He returned to his book, highlighting passages that were going to be used on the upcoming test. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t nervous. It was the first test he’d had to take since he’d graduated high school. Sure, there were courses he’d picked up here and there to be able to become a minister, but he already knew the material inside and out. Abnormal psychology, though? That was a new one to him.

He glanced up at a knock on the door, wondering who would be bothering him at this hour. The kids were already tucked up in bed, so it wouldn’t be one of their little friends breaking their parents’ curfew to be little rebels. Maybe it was Lucien come to talk?

He gently pushed Lucifer off of his lap and set his textbook down on the coffee table as he got to his feet. He could vaguely make out a shape on the other side of the door; one of the other dads then?

“Robert,” Joseph blinked as he opened the door. “Um, it’s rather late, don’t you think?”

“Not even ten,” Robert snorted as he pushed past Joseph and headed for the kitchen. “We’re celebrating your divorce.”

“Robert,” Joseph sighed as he followed him. “It’s not something to celebrate. And you’re friends with Mary; isn’t that bad form?”

Robert shrugged. “I’m also friends with you,” he said as he set the whiskey on the counter. “Get that fruity wine of yours and those cookies. We’re pigging out.”

Joseph shook his head as he got a wine glass out for his wine and set the tray of fresh cookies between them at the island. Robert poured himself a glass of whiskey and lifted his glass.

“To you finally being a free man,” he said. “And the beginning of a new life for you.”

“Cheers,” Joseph chuckled as he tinked his glass against Robert’s and took a sip. “So...how’ve you been?” Robert shot him a look and Joseph laughed. “Okay, you have to deal with the small talk in my own house, Robert,” he said. “If we were in yours, I would respect your silence rule.”

Robert shrugged a shoulder and pushed his fingers through his hair. “I’ve been okay,” he said. “Val’s been helping me clean up my act a little bit. Actually forced me to do laundry at a decent time. And cook decent meals.”

“She’s a good influence,” Joseph smiled.

“I have no idea how she turned out so good when I was a shit father,” Robert sighed and shook his head. “Marilyn did more work than I thought.”

“I’m sure you helped more than you thought,” Joseph soothed. “I mean, you weren’t neglectful to be malicious. Some people just...shouldn’t be parents.”

Robert glanced at him and sighed. “Sometimes I’m not sure if I appreciate what you say or if I want to smack you,” he said.

“I’m used to it,” he chuckled and tipped his head to the side.

Robert reached out and plucked a cookie off the plate. He chewed it slowly, his dark eyes closing in contentment. Joseph settled down against the island and slowly sipped his wine. He hadn’t realized that he needed this. He could already feel his nerves relaxing.

“Mrow?” Lucifer asked before he jumped up on the island.

“Hey, down,” Joseph scolded as he poked Lucifer’s nose. “We talked about this, young man. No dirty paws where there’s food.”

Robert’s mouth fell open. “You have a cat,” he said. “You got a fucking cat!”

“Volume,” Joseph smiled. “Yes, Chris got him when we got the dog. Robert, Lucifer. Luci, this is Robert.”

“You named it Lucifer,” Robert cackled.

“No, he was already named Lucifer,” Joseph shook his head. “And off the table, darling.”

Lucifer glared at him before jumping down on his lap and curling up. He scratched behind the cat’s ears and smiled at Robert as the man seemed to swoon on the spot.

“Joseph Christiansen with a cat named Lucifer,” he laughed. “Will wonders ever cease?”

Joseph rolled his eyes. He was glad that something so simple could make his friend laugh. He had gotten over the novelty a while ago, so he didn’t laugh as much as he used to. And it was sort of getting old anyways.

“So,” Robert said after a few minutes. “You’re single now.”

“Robert,” Joseph looked at him.

Really? He should have known that Robert had ulterior motives for coming and celebrating. The man always did. It was just how he operated.

“Hear me out,” Robert raised his hands. “You’re single now. You can get back into the dating scene whenever you want. You’ll never have to worry about cheating on Mary ever again.”

“I’ve already come to terms with that, Robert,” Joseph said. “If you’re looking to proposition me this time….”

“No, that’s just it,” Robert shook his head. “I...I don’t just want you for sex, Joseph. I thought about this for a while now and...fuck, I’m not good with words okay? I can spin a story like you wouldn’t believe, but explain my feelings?” He rubbed angrily at the fringe of hair just above his forehead. “Look, when we started that affair, I really only wanted to fuck you for the novelty. I had enticed a married man into my bed, you know? It was the ultimate bad boy fantasy. But then...then I started to get to know you more, actually held you after we fucked, and...and I fell in love. You’re an amazing man, Joseph, and...and I know I blew it. I wasn’t any better than Mary. I wanted you without any consideration for you or your feelings or even what Mary would do if I lied about your extramarital activities. I was selfish. I always have been.”

Joseph leaned forward, folding his hands under his jaw as he listened to Robert’s confession. He knew how hard it was to get Robert to talk about his feelings and fears, so he wasn’t about to stop the man. Not yet, anyways. They had both been selfish. They had both done something wrong. If Robert was apologizing, there was more than enough hope for him left in the world.

“But after I’d cooled off when you dumped me and stayed with Mary, I realized something,” he continued. “I was acting like Mary. I was acting like you were property. You aren’t. You never belonged to me or to Mary. And...and I only want you to be happy now. Whether that’s with me or someone else. I want you back in my life, Joseph. I can’t….I can’t stand just watching from the sidelines as you go on with your life hurting from our stupidity.”

Joseph smiled as Robert fell silent and wiped at his eye. “Robert, you always meant the world to me, even when we were just friends,” he said. “I know a hurt soul when I see it and yours was in a lot of agony, even when you and Marilyn were trying to start over. You were hurting so much and I wanted to help you get better. And then...Marilyn had her accident.

“You were so distraught, but you were trying to seem unaffected. Aloof until the final moments. I knew better. I waited until you were comfortable around me and when I asked you if you were alright, you came apart at the seams. I knew in that moment that I loved you; I held you and let you cry, knowing that in that moment you were the most beautiful creature in existence. Your emotions were so pure, your grief was so real, that I knew this was the real Robert Small. Not an aloof man that acted too cool for friends and drank too much. You are a gentle soul with a heart of gold struggling to fit into a life he thought he should have because emotions were the enemy.

“I still love you, Robert. I always will. But I need time. I’ve been with Mary most of my adult life and I need time to find myself again. Even if I know this isn’t what you want, I want to be friends with you again, Robert. I want to get to know the man you’ve become and let our past burn away.”

Robert’s eyes had teared up again and he nodded. “I want that too,” he whispered. “Being friends with you is better than letting myself waste away to nothing.”

Joseph wiped a tear from his eyes and laughed. “Look at us being mature adults about things,” he laughed. “Who’da thunk it, right?”

Robert smiled and sipped his whiskey. “Had to happen at some point, I suppose,” he teased.

Joseph smiled as he sipped his wine. “To us being mature adults,” he said after a moment and lifted his glass.

“Cheers, mate,” Robert chuckled as they clicked their glasses together and sipped in their honour.

Joseph had no idea what his future would hold, but if he was there with Robert watching his back, he knew he’d be okay.

[goodbye--1989]

Tell me everything about Chernobyl

Buddy you’ve done and opened yourself a big ol can of worms.

(Deep breath, followed by a sip of water.)It all started with the damn stress test. It was set to take place during the DAY of April 26th, with professionals, but for some fuckin reason, they 1) had amateurs do it, 2) turned off most forms of safety/security to prevent this shit, and 3) did it at motherfucking night. When most people were at home. 

See, even us, not-radiation-science type people can tell that this shit was headed for disaster the moment the day came forth.

The whole test started p ok, shit was going fine for a while. Then, of course, the everything-turned-off-and-everyone-at-home shit AND INTERIOR FLAWS AND THE FUCKING PEOPLE SETTING THE STUFF UP FOR THE TEST WRONG resulted in water leaking in to the core they were testing, which evaporated quickly due to heat, which built up the pressure, which led to a steam explosion.

Now, all that fucking up earlier would’ve been ok if it had happened during the day or with people who knew their shit and didn’t turn off (sigh) every damn protecting system they had. Instead, of course, all these minor fuckups built up and now we have 30-40 people in what’s obviously now a radioactive danger zone, at least. The actual population of the town is 14,000 and the pop. in the danger zone (Chernobyl and a neighboring town, Pripyat) is 49,000.

49,000 is the population of a small town and maybe a neighboring town. Imagine your small town being told that it has to pack up and leave cos some assholes playing around in the nearby nuclear reactor fucked up. I’d be pissed, quite frankly.

Now, they raid out of there and then they just go home for the night, tell their friends and fam maybe, and go to bed. They fuckin go to bed after inciting the biggest nuclear disaster in history. 

In the morning, thank fuck, oficcials like police and shit catch wind and they see what happened to the plant, which is rubble in the spot where the incident happened, and say “Nah bro we gotta get these folks out of here.”

Well, they did it about as enthusiastically as a dead dog chasing butterflies. Civilians stayed in the danger zone for a bout three days afterwards, bathing in that tasty radiation, catching that succulent radiation poisioning.

Meanwhile, helicopters keep flying in and out, dumping such helpful materials as fuel to the fire, more fuel to the fire, water, and even more fuel. By “fuel”, I mean stuff like sand and concrete, stuff like that that would smother most fires. However, the fires in this case seemed to come straight from Hell and were currently impossible to get near, in a volatile zone, and poisoning thousands.

Oh, the illnesses! The after effects! The death!

The automatic death on the scene was, surprisingly, only 2, one of whom was never found. Later, however, millions died due to little Cher and their accident.

How, you ask?

RADIATION POISONING AND CANCER.

At least 10,000 people have been definitely cursed by cancer from the event. 30 firefighters also died in the days after, trying in vain to calm the now 1660 Celsius fire. That's 3020 Fahrenheit! If your oven was able to acieve this heat, not only would your pizza rolls be cooked, but your kitchen, your house, you, and the neighbors too! (The average oven gets to about 400 Fahrenheit 177 Celsius).

And, of course, how could I forget! The Chernobyl Divers!

Those three brave souls, how we owe our lives to them!

It was like a week or so after when someone realized that an area was still melting down and they were like “Oh, fuck, if that doesn;t get taken care of, then there could be a second disaster that’ll probably wipe out this half of Europe.” Melted radioactive material made of shit like uranium, other radioactive materials in the plant, and the stuff they threw at the fire to put it out were all gooped together like a 1660 Fahrenheit nightmare slugand that was headed for a coolant stored near the bottom of the plant (which was just water, aka a failed putter-outter) and if they came together, then the resulting steam would be filled with the radiation in the evil lavaslug and then they’d be even more fucked.

They sat down and cried for a little before making it known that some people in their prime state (25-40 and fit) had to give up their lives and dive below the deathzone in to the nuclear water and drain the coolant.

I’m starting to get teary at the thought of this. It reads like some sort of beautiful action movie. I’ve honestly thought for a while that movies should stop being about superheroes and wars and let Cher have a turn in the spotlight with it’s beautiful fires and brave souls.

Now, their names areValeri Bezpalov, Alexie Ananenko, and Boris Baranov,and honestly, I would cry if I got to meet them.

Val and Alex were both engineers on the plant and Boris was a fellow worker. They all volunteered to do what was probably, most likely, definitly gonna kill them, or at least fuck them up for life.

They go and do it, no witty comments to say there. The story is a little skewered, some sources saying that they really did have to dive in 30+ deep water and others saying it was only knee high, but whatever the truth is, they took care of the water, and saved Europe’s ass.

Finally, everything’s been said.

EXCEPT

THE FOREST.

The Red Forest (Ginger Colored forest in Ukranian and Russian) got probably the highest dosage of radiation during the disaster, which KILLED microorganisms like fungi and especially the plants, leaving it barren looking.

Now, I’m assuming most of y’all know your tree biology. They grow, they leave seeds a few times, they die, they fall over, and they rot.

NOT IN THE CASE OF THE RED FOREST.

Since those sad little micros got shot with enough rads to kill a human, they got way dead. Sonce there was nothing left to eat the radioactive wood, it remained, soaked in rads, for years and years.

It’s still one of the most highly radioactive spots in the Pripyat/Chernobyl zone, second only to the plant. If someone were to, say drop a slightly burning cigarette butt on any piece of wood in there, then the whole place could go up, releasing radioactive smoke in to the air to wreak havoc on eastern Europe once more!

Well, I’m sorry for rambling so much about my Big Interest but lmao I had a good time

[valheartandfriendsllc]

Being A Dog Whisperer Comes In Handy!

Being a dog whisperer can come in really handy! Especially when you live with a lab cross puppy whose nickname is “Butter Boy”.

You can imagine where this story is going…

My life as a dog whisperer and The Butter Boy

First a little backstory… My lifelong dream of having my own personal chef has come true!

I confess I’m not much of a cook. Like my Mom who didn’t much enjoy cooking “real food” because she loved the sweets, I’m more of a baker.  My specialties are PBJ sandwiches, homemade jello, cookies and muffins and yummy goodies like that.  And truth be told, I do a much better job cooking for the dogs than I do for people!

My life partner and husband Joern is who I affectionately refer to as my personal chef. He’s an excellent cook, even better, he loves to cook, plan meals and shop for the ingredients. Did I mention he also loves to eat?

Oh yea. And as much as he loves to cook his culinary creations, he also loves sharing them with me, his sweetheart.

How lucky am I, eh?

Being a dog whisperer comes in very handy when the unexpected happens

Last night, Joern fixed us a delicious meal. As usual, we grabbed our plates and retired to our sitting area where we love to chat, chill, read, eat, and watch whatever TV show we’re currently bingeing.

We just finished watching The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (OMG we love her!) and are now watching The Expanse. We love to indulge in one or all of the activities above with our doggies by our side—it’s a family thing.

I went to get us dessert (my homemade sugar and gluten-free Samoa cookies, which Joern says are the best cookies he’s ever had, high praise from my gourmand hubby)…

When I saw it.

The Evidence.

The golden Kerrygold butter wrapper was torn into little gnarly, wet slimy bits, and shreds of it were strewn all over the kitchen floor. Uh oh. Joern had used a little bit of a whole new stick of butter in our cauliflower rice and left it on the counter by the stove while we ate dinner.

But now?

No butter left. It had inexplicably disappeared while we were distracted by our show.

Timmy, our border collie, had been at our side the entire time, hoping for handouts and watching for something to spill off our plates.  He’s always ready to jump into action to clean the floor instantly in case of spillage, and loves to help us “do the dishes”. So he was not the butter thief.

Which can only leave…

SAMWISE, our newly-adopted lab mix pup, now forever known as Thief, aka The Butter Boy.

Oh dear.

Vals dogs Timmy and Samwise love to communicate

Oh no! Time for the dog whisperer to jump into action

So…is Samwise’s tummy going to rebel from eating a whole stick of butter?

Will we be up all night dealing with throw up or diarrhea or with a sick doggo needing emergency attention?

What a scary, potential nightmare, eh? Most dog parents in this situation can only sit and wait nervously, watching for signs that their dog is about to be sick or worse.

But if you’re a dog whisperer, you can tackle the problem head-on through a conversation with your best friend.

Just ask your pet how they feel.

So I asked him. “Sam, how does your tummy feel?”

“Fine. I feel good.” (Samwise has the sweetest, clearest voice.)

“You ate a lot of butter. Sometimes that can make a doggy feel really awful. We never eat that much butter all at once… I’m worried. Will you let me know if you feel sick later?”

“Sure, Mom! But I feel good right now and I’m sorry you’re worried about me. It was really tasty, I like butter.  And it was right there on the edge of the counter too! NomNomNom…” as he licked his lips in delight.

I said, “Thanks for telling me that – I got it! We like butter too. You’re off the hook for now Sam until we know you’re okay. But later we’ll discuss your stealing our food off the counter!”

Sam still felt fine when we went to bed. But around 3 a.m. he woke me asking to go outside just like we’d discussed.

He scooted quickly outside, did his thing, and I waited until he was ready to come back inside again. When he was ready, he came in and we all curled back up on the bed and slept well the rest of the night.

I woke up to find him and his toy dinosaur sitting on my pillow looking at me, in our happy place, ready to greet the day.

Vals dog Samwise is a natural dog whisperer too

Potential crisis averted.

Are you ready to start talking to your dog with more than just hand signals and voice cues? Your furry friends have so much to say. Go here and get started talking to your best friends in a whole new way.

I’m SO grateful I’m a dog whisperer. Talking to all animals is an intuitive skill that comes in very handy in so many countless ways.

For instance, when your pet doesn’t feel well?  Ask them if they’re in pain, what happened to make them hurt, and what they need to feel better.

When they act out in mysterious bad dog behavior?  Ask them why what they’re doing makes sense to them.  Are they confused?  Upset?  Afraid?  Why and what can we do about that as a partnership?

If they are getting ready to make their transition?  A heart to heart conversation will make all the difference in the world between a peaceful, easier passing versus a traumatic, grief stricken experience for both of you.

Because here’s the thing – anything can happen at any time.

You just never know when you’ll need to talk about something really important.

And that’s why you’re in my Tribe of Animal Lovers!

Make a point of talking to an animal today. Keep the conversation alive by checking with them frequently and find out what’s going on in their world.

Seriously, you don’t want to wait until something is wrong to make the effort to communicate. By then it could be too late.

If you’re ready to start your journey in the wonderful world of Animal Communication, it’s time to start!

Download my FREE Ebook: Hidden Secrets to Communicating with Pets HERE.

Or dive into the complete Talking With Animals program with my Beginning Core Foundations Animal Communication Course.

Maybe you’ve already begun your journey in Animal Communication. If so, it’s time to go to the next level.

Find out how to access the Masterclass here

All my courses are fully guaranteed, so there’s no risk to taking the next step.

Enjoyed this article? Here are three more to help you:

How to keep your pets safe from coyotes.

Five benefits of animal communication.

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