#this is one of the few fics in my bookmark folder and THAT'S how amazing it is

[sinisterexaggerator]

Do I obliterate your ask by sending all these or — Ah, what the heck. You're one of my favorite writers. Might as well go big or go home LOL!

3 4 5 10 13 16 22 28 29 32 38 39

Oh shit, OK.

3. Writing ritual. I do not have one.

4. I answered this one earlier.

5. I also do not have any writing superstitions.

10. Hm, has a piece of writing haunted me? Not really. I mean, I am moved in the moment by stuff, but my ADHD brain probably forgets over time, no matter how amazing it was. As far as my own writing haunting me, sure. My unfinished WIPs are screaming at me to finish. LOL.

13. A difficult subject matter to write about. Hmm. Probably my own personal history and past, but I don't plan to write a memoir or anything. Something that is easy appears to be angst and smut. I am good at creating drama and situations, and pretty decent at the sexy stuff too, I think.

16. Weirdest thing I have ever used as a bookmark: Idk, a lighter maybe? But only temporarily.

22. How organized am I with my writing? Not too organized. Bare minimum so I don't drive myself crazy. I used to have all my writing all over my desktop taking up space, word docs half finished, all in little rows. Then I made a couple of folders. Now I have a folder for all my multiple-chapter fics that contain the document itself with the writing in it, and anything I have bothered to write or create in relation to that work. Another I have for headcanons, one for finished fics, and one for WIPs and to-dos, and even misc things, like lists of names for OCs I kind of like that I've never used. Of course *THE FIC* of the hour is loose on the desktop and I can stare at the little icon until I am persuaded to open it. I back-up everything on a cloud, but when it comes to writing itself I've only made an outline ONE TIME and it's because it's my "Magnum Opus" and basically an entire series unto itself, so it needs a lot of planning and I have a LOT of thoughts about it. As far as tools, I just use Microsoft Word and notepad for notes. Idk, I am a basic bitch. ;D

28. Most delightful character I have ever written for? Hmm. Probably Shriv Suurgav, just because he is husband material and a good boy all around.

29. I draw my inspiration from canon but then my own brain I guess, and sometimes discussions with friends that I suddenly very much need to elaborate on because it's just too good to pass up. My ADHD is good in a way because my brain is constantly jumping from scenario to scenario and "what ifs" and it makes it so I have toooooo many ideas and not enough time to write them all. I like to browse Wookieepedia too and see what's there in regards to canon/legends and then take that and let it inspire me. Give me two lines about an insignificant man in a Star Wars RPG and I can make him into an OC. That's what happened with Kayson from Stars Above. And even one of the guys in the sabacc scene. He was a real weapon's shop owner in Tatooine as listed on a roleplaying game but that was all the info. I made the rest up. ;D

32. Answered this one already, too.

38. I am a perfectionist to the point every minor fucking detail must line up and make sense or I will not be happy. Like, later on if I find out something in canon contradicts something I wrote I will be LEGIT MAD to the point I'd be tempted to change it. LOL. I also hate when canon CONTRADICTS ITSELF. I research the hell out of stuff to make sure the timeline matches up, to practice proper characterization, to know the specific name of an object within the Star Wars universe, and I must, MUST describe things in explicit detail and paint a picture or I just don't want to do it. I can't just write smut usually, for instance. THERE HAS TO BE A SET UP! It has. to. make. sense. And yeah, that part is fun for me.

39. What keeps me writing is the fact I have fun with it, and people like you who talk me up! Feedback goes a long way. If others enjoy it, I enjoy that I made them happy in some capacity, if only for a few moments. If no one cared, I would probably think it's not worth it and my writing must be shit, haha.

[tundrainafrica]

Note: Instead of posting a meta or a fic today, allow me to take a quick break from that because I think I really need to appreciate some people here and the fandom overall.  

February 7, 2021. 

Today, I turned 24 and my boyfriend surprised me with a gift I think I’ll be taking to heart for a very long time. 

The story behind the gift was as precious (or even more precious) as the gift itself and I thought I’d share it since it turned out some content creators were involved in this gift and I very much want to express how much this gift has defined this day for me and will place my 24th birthday as one of those birthdays I don’t think I’ll ever forget. 

Apparently, I had casually dropped both my tumblr and my ao3 account during one of our conversations and somewhere around November he had started looking through my bookmarks, my posts on tumblr and some of my interactions with people in the fandom.

I should have seen it coming. It had started with my boyfriend suddenly asking about my hyperfixation with Levihan.

Sav? Shipping? Sav? Binge reading ships and meta posts? Sav? Gushing about a fictional ship?

And I remember gushing about this with my seemingly uninterested boyfriend a long night after explaining what was oddly the most out of character thing for someone like me. 

I was sharing with him my metas and hcs and maybe, I was dropping a few of my favorite quotes along the way and it turned out he was interested. Suddenly he was asking me about my favorite fics, my favorite scenes. Suddenly, he was rereading my favorite fics with me and a few times, he was quoting those same scenes. I did find out he was looking through my blog when I got a random message from a really sketchy tumblr telling me to open my facebook. 

I suspected a few times that he could be planning something. December passed with nothing and eventually he stopped asking so I clocked that as a fevered dream or unnecessary assuming on my end and didn’t think too much of it after. 

It turned out my boyfriend had messaged my favorite authors about their fics and he commissioned one of my favorite artists (if not my favorite) to draw a few photos and bound them into a Levihan Anthology 

And it feels fucking amazing to receive something like this. To get Levihan which helped me through the worst of 2020, bound forever as a book I can just open up and read anytime. And I guess tearing up at receiving such a gift had me thinking of a lot of things at once (which were always at the back of mind) but I thought of sharing now. 

The past year wasn’t easy. Actually. don’t think it’s an understatement to say this past year was dog shit. With the covid pandemic and all plans after that cancelled, I’m sure we can all agree we had our ups and downs. 

I had a lot of my own plans completely thrown out the window for numerous reasons. I had plans of going to law school part time while building a career. And, I got a job right after college to make these plans come true. In September the law school I got accepted to (after working so damn hard the past year to get accepted) denied my appeal for night classes. I decided to drop my enrollment to focus on my career. A week later, my job laid me off. 

And for once in my life, I wasn’t going anywhere. And I lived in a house where everyone was always doing something and as soon as I lost my job I was pressured to find another one. But as we all know, searching for a job during this pandemic isn’t easy. I was still reeling after having dropped my enrollment just to focus on my job only to lose that job the week after with no prior notice. Everyone around me was busy doing their own thing. I had no one to talk to and for a while, I was falling into this pit of depression. 

My days consisted of me hiding under the covers of my bed in between the few interviews I would take day to day. Around that time, I decided to binge watch Attack on Titan as well 

I was never one to get hyper fixated in ships. In fact, this was the first ship since Royai and Victuuri which I have been so passionate. And this is a whole new level of passion. I think this is the first time I’ve ever written so much in this small amount of time. It was slow going. Just like Levi and Hange’s relationship, my fixation with this ship was a slowburn. 

Those days alone, I was reading fanfiction by the bundle, I was scrolling through the Levihan tag like a simp, leaving kudos in ao3 on a throwaway account and just scrolling through random people’s tumblr accounts. 

What happened during the one month? And when I was alone, sad, lonely and stagnant with no one to talk to, when everyone around me was living their own lives, all I had alone in the bedroom was Levi and Hange’s stories to keep me company between interviews. 

And the meta analyses and headcanons I had about their relationship were teaching me things. They were teaching me that life was never about how quickly you progress or how far you go. Maybe the real winners in life are the ones who can build good relationships, build relationships so mutually satisfying they keep each other growing and in those few moments reading, headcanoning ships, I did realize, maybe even as stagnant as I was at that moment, my life wasn’t dogshit. 

No one’s life is dogshit for a few small bumps along the way. Sometimes it just is part of the process of growing, learning to get past the worse, learning to manage relationships. And maybe it’s these relationships which make life worth living. Maybe it’s these struggles depicted in these stories and the bounce back. Maybe it’s the love, the life, the emotions so carefully described and depicted in every single story which makes life, life. 

With every single fic I read and every single fan art I scrolled through. Levihan was teaching my things about love, loss and life. 

Sometimes, these fandoms are the things which can catch people before they fall too low into something. These works and stories authors and artists shared so generously were what pulled me out of this state and are what inspired me to explore this relationship for all the potential its worth and maybe share my own stories and headcanons which people may learn a thing or two from or maybe just find some comfort and hope in.  

And these inspirations eventually evolved to writing. Writing 10,000 words in a day in between three interviews? I never was a writer but somehow, I found myself spending hours exploring the themes of love, loss and life with our favorite pairing 

I didn’t start writing out of nowhere. I didn’t start making metas out of nowhere. I needed the right inspiration, the right content to get me into this point where I could continue writing, reading, meta-ing, appreciating, headcanoning and everything in between.

And I just wanted to express my gratefulness to every single person in the fandom who had made it possible for me to pull out of that blackhole. Fandoms are underrated and I believe there are so many lessons which can be learned from the right content and from the right people. 

To the people who so willingly went along with my boyfriend’s little project: 

@faerielleart​ I saved A LOT of your art and they’re sitting in my google photos under a folder called Levihan and maybe I did share a few of your photos (the cheeks one and the beast titan one and the les miserables) ones to my boyfriend unsolicited just to show him how beautiful Levihan can be. Thank you so much for these beautiful drawings.

@lizaloveslevihan​ You were one of the first people I talked with in this fandom and dreams really was one of those stories that fucked me up a little bit, had me make a few misses on the commute on the way home one day but maybe it did have me explore the angst genre a little more, maybe it did have me explore Levi’s character a little more. 

@ariadneamare​ YELLOW. OH GOD. You know those letters? The ones which Hange left Levi at the end of the story? I ended up copying and pasting them and sending them to my boyfriend right after reading and I remember talking to him about this. We might be facing that same type of story in the future and I guess that ended up becoming a lot of foundation of our discussion and I guess, it’s just proof that there is so much to learn from fanfiction. There’s just so much to explore and fanfiction as a genre just does not get the credit it deserves.

@fanmoose12​​ I was exploring your works even before I started this tumblr up again. Maybe it was even your works which got me building my own headcanons from Levihan and writing from there. And I think I did leave a few anonymous messages telling you how I started exploring other genres because of your fics. Your works got my out of my dark place, it got me exploring a lot of other genres and for that I’m eternally grateful.

And somehow, my boyfriend picked that all up from late night discussions and one-on-one metas. Surprisingly, he wasn’t just playing along to humor his girlfriend. He was exploring the themes of love, life, loss and Levihan right along with me. (And got spoiled about Hange’s death along the way… Oops.) 

And I am eternally grateful for that and I made sure to shower him with a lot of kisses after he kept me in the loop with what has been going on these past few months with his sudden interest in Levihan.

And this huge thank you goes out to all content creators (authors, artists, gif creators, shitposters alike). Sometimes you never know who’s thinking about your work, who’s shoehorning your works and quoting them to their best friends. Sometimes, you never will find out but your work had pulled someone out of a blackhole which they’ve been stuck in and sometimes you never know that your work has been that seemingly small thing that had taught them a lesson in love, life or relationships. Sometimes, that one work turned out to be an inspiration which got them writing and sharing their own stories or making their own drawings

And I guess, the point is, keep writing. Keep drawing. Keep sharing pouring your love, passion and emotions into works of art because you never really know whose heart you touched or whose life you changed.

I have a job now. I decided to push law school a few years back and maybe take the time to work on myself now and maybe spend the next months or maybe years writing metas and fanfictions. I was pulled out of my hole. I was inspired. I have my own stories to tell and I don’t think I would have been here if I hadn’t spent the last few months reading fic after fic, meta after meta, appreciating art after art, 

So anyway, I just wanted to share some pics of my favortie fics, immortalized in one anthology, all organized by my boyfriend. And I think he made some great decisions with these.

(Bookbinding credits to @mayerwien)

[handlebarstiedtothestars]

fic ask game!

Welp @forineffablereasons  left this open to anyone and given I’m a baby in this writing game I doubt anyone will ever specifically tag me SO here we go y’all

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

8!! I know that’s not many but I was surprised I even finished 1, let alone 8!?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

80,881. Honestly the fact that I got stumped 40k into a book I tried to write and yet I’ve written nearly 81k online is just nuts.

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Only Good Omens really, but I have done the My Fair Lady crossover and the romcom It Happened One Night crossover, so kinda them too?

4) What are your top five fics by kudos?

My Fair Angel, Quicken To The New Life, Any Which Way, Let ‘Em Topple, Champagne and Chocolate Cake

5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Always! Sometimes takes me a while to find time to get logged on, but always once I do. Even just to say thanks!

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uhhh not really any of them, but a few get a little angsty in the middle. Maybe Any Which Way, arguably, cos that resolves its angst right at the very end.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Definitely the My Fair Lady crossover. That was pure discord mania as soon as we found out there was a song in the musical called the Ascot Gavotte 🤣

8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Someone tagged their bookmark of My Fair Angel with “Oh Dear”. Bit rude lol. It’s still there actually.

9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I have triiiiiiied y’all and I just crack myself up laughing.

10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of and I hope I never do!!

11) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I’d be thrilled if someone wanted to translate or podfic or do anything with any of my writing! Draw art, whatever. 

12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

My Fair Angel was certainly a big collab with WyvernQuill in terms bouncing ideas around (and the amazing artwork), but not officially no.

13) What’s your all time favourite ship?

Honestly it’s a toss up between Aziraphale and Crowley or Eleanor and Chidi from The Good Place. Maybe Jason and Janet too. I hate choices haha.

14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I mean there’s my attempts at smut lurking about in my folders that I don’t think I’ll go back to. A few beginnings of legit books I’ve tried to go back to and never got back into the groove of. Lots of WIPs. A graveyard of WIPs I see before me.

15) What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told I write realistic (and/or Pratchett-esque) drunk dialogue so there’s that 😂

16) What are your writing weaknesses?

I lose focus of the point/the plot sometimes.

17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve done it briefly and I double check it with a native speaker where I can.

18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Good Omens! Hmm. Actually. I remember writing some drabbles for Ouran High School Host Club when I was like 13 but I don’t think they really ever saw the light of day.

19) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Oof. Honestly bits of all of them. Chapter 7 of My Fair Angel. The parenting in Quicken To The New Life. The 14th century chapter of Any Which Way. The musical nerdiness of Sweet Love and Soul’s Delight. The Jesus cameos. There’s fun stuff in all of them.

I will taaaaaaag the aforementioned amazing @wyvernquill and the delectable @lurlur and anyone else who wants to do this!!

[pugszler]

16, 20, and 23 for the fic asks?

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

honestly, not that much? i’m lazy lol also my fic ideas tend to be pretty ordinary so there isn’t much to research. i do have a folder in my bookmarks called “fic reference” tho and i think i have the most links saved for a sequel to one of my pacific rim fics that i had plans to write... but i never got around to it. but i basically tried to do some research on hong kong and like... date related things? i was looking up things about restaurants and cute bakeries and pretty cakes i’d never heard of before. 

other than that, i’ve actually had to do a bit of basic research about cats lmao bc a lot of my fics lately have involved cats but i honestly don’t know much about cats irl bc i’ve only had a single cat ever and he’s been here for just 5 years, so yeah, there’s still a lot i don’t really know about cats and their behavior.

20. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

publishing it lmao. getting comments and kudos and praise lmao. nah, but i rlly do love when i’m actually in the WRITING ZONE and i’m able to pump out like 1k words in a single sitting. those days always feel amazing and i feel Extremely powerful. writing has been very difficult for me in the past few years due to my mental health, but i truly Want to keep writing and having fun with it and sharing happy stories with other people. <3

23. What’s your absolute favorite trope to write?

i answered this already but i can think of another one! ....i think. i thought of an answer but i’ve technically only written it once, but i DEFINITELY want to write it again and that’s my favorite au: soulmate aus. they’re my favorite thing to read but i wanna write them too! i looove seeing and thinking about all the different variations of soulmate aus! also they’re just super reassuring and self-indulgent for me bc i’m a lonely ass cheeseball who wants to find her own soulmate. 😞

ask me stuff about fic and writing!

[howdoistormspirit]

Fanfic recs

Because it’s Fanfic Writer Appreciation Day, I thought I’d make a list of a few of my favorite fics. These are all BNHA and all safe, because if I added NSFW I’d have to give my entire bookmark folder.

——

Evolutionary, endpoint by @tony-stark-has-a-heart

It’s got Izuku with a quirk, Dadzawa, DadMight, TodoDeku... fantastic.

——

All My Stumbling Phrases by @ill-go-with-that-then

Ugh this EraserMic is just so sweet?! Jealous Shouta is fantastic. All of this author’s fics are amazing, but I love this one the most.

——

Turntables by wancemcwain

Another EraserMic story. I love the flipped roles, with Shouta being the one who flirts.

——

Days of My Future Husband’s Past by @yamiheart

Hey guess what. It’s more EraserMic. Because time travel and fluff make me weak. Fantastic.

——

Skyscraper by Say_Jay

EraserMic. Like. Oof I can’t even talk about how much I love this because I just babble and give away the entire plot.

——

Toil & Trouble by @letaizawarest

More EraserMic. This is a witch/magical beings AU and it’s fantastic. Shouta is a gay disaster and I love it.

——

I Would Understand by @deafmic

Shinson fic that honestly makes me cry whenever I read it and takes all my uwus because it’s so good??

——

Comfort I by modernmint

Hey guess the pairing. If you guessed EraserMic you’re right. Another soft fic where those two are in love no matter what.

——

Yesterday Upon the Stair by @pitviperofdoom

If you haven’t read this yet you should. It’s so well written, I get chills sometimes. Izuku has a quirk that lets him see ghosts, which is cool, but then it gets better and better and better. 11/10 I reread often

——

No Good Deed by Notsogoodwithwords

This has got smol Izuku and Dadzawa. The timeline is a little funky, but Aizawa is so well written that it makes very little difference.

——

Useless Monster by MuteCrows

God where do I even begin. Izuku has amazingly cool powers of healing and shapeshifting. It’s god DadMight. It’s fantastic what more do you want from me?!

——

Children of Fate by lucky1025

Another 11/10 fic that I reread often. TodoDeku, and Izuku gets an amazing quirk. This fic really is one of those “It made me laugh, it made me cry” fics.

——

I’m sure I missed a few people’s tumblrs, and the descriptions aren’t the best... but here they are. A few of my favorite fics!!

[et-in-cinerem-reverteris]

Class of 1953 - Chapters 4/4.5 - Louder Than Bombs/Rubber Ring

“Phil, I think you are the strangest person that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

“Hey, you’re equally weird,” he teases. 

“I know. That’s why I think you’re so wonderful.”

I’m back with my 1950s historical Oxford university AU fic-cum-novella-thing. Sorry I haven’t been posting the chapters to Tumblr! Here are chapters 4 and 4.5 - soon I will be posting chapter 5 (possibly the last chapter!)

Click me to read on Ao3! 

Or keep reading under the cut...

Chapter 4 - Louder Than Bombs

The passing of time, and all of its sickening crimes, is making Phil nervous again.

Sitting sideways at the top of his bed with his feet swinging off the edge like a bored schoolboy, he idly fumbles with the pages of an open book as he stares into space, waiting. 

Last Sunday he had promised Dan that he could use his room as a space to get homework done. Tonight, the gravity of the situation has only just begun to dawn on him. He imagines the scene with a quickened heartbeat; Dan sitting only a foot away, using his chair, working at his desk and writing with his pens, Dan pacing around his room, scrutinising his photographs, flicking through his records and reading the titles of his books. Phil doesn’t know how to prepare himself. Meeting up in public is one thing, but a private visit to his room feels like quite another.

He laughs out loud at himself. Private visit? Dan’s only coming to study for Christ’s sake. 

Speaking of studying, he has his own work to attend to. Lying on his lap is a copy of Beowulf, deliberately planted there to create the impression of a student deeply engaged in a spot of serious reading. Unfortunately for Phil Beowulf has been unable to capture his imagination, and so instead he has spent the last ten minutes or so staring at the contents of his hastily tidied room. His desk is decluttered, his bed has been made, and all the odd pairs of socks have been picked off the floor and put away in preparation for Dan’s visit. 

All is silent bar the low hum of his desk lamp. It’s a quiet Friday evening, and the normally raucous quad now only echoes sporadic bursts of hushed chatter. Tonight’s sky is peppered with clouds that pass the moon at random intervals, periodically obscuring a strange halo that encircles the bright rock in a mysterious reddish glow. The curtains lie wide open, and a streak of moonlight falls on the pinboard opposite his bed. Littered with cinema tickets, clippings from environmental magazines, ripped out pages and uncashed cheques, the most recent addition to the board is a cluster of pictures he took of the photography club on an impromptu walk by the River Cherwell. The top photograph shows Bill squinting at the sun while Mary gives Beth a precarious looking piggyback ride, both of them smiling as John holds his palms up to the toppling ensemble and posing as tourists do next to the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Phil remembers how the group of them skimmed stones across the muddy water, competing to see who could get the furthest, until Beth had beat Bill’s expert hand with a fluke stone that skipped so far into the distance that none of them could tell where it had landed. He thinks of that day with a smile. Good times.

*rat-tat-tat*

At last! Springing off his mattress he dashes towards the mirror, spruces up his quiff, takes in a deep breath and opens the door.

���Hallo! Ho-”

Phil is interrupted as Dan comes crashing into the room, stumbling past him and lurching towards the desk as a large pile of books, folders and papers fall from his arms and scatter across the surface in a heap. He releases a long sigh, and then turns around to face his host with a sheepish smile.

“Sorry for bursting in here like that. My arms were starting to get cramped under the weight of all these books, and I had to put them down. Anyway, how are you?” 

“I’m fine but err, quick question,” Phil starts. “Why didn’t you just use a bag?” 

Dan’s smile fades and his eyes glaze over, mouth opening and closing as his brows furrow in confusion. “Now that you mention it, I um, don’t know why on earth I didn’t think of that.” He throws his hands into the air. “God knows what’s up with me.” Embarrassed, he turns around and begins to organise the jumbled papers.

“What’s all this you’ve got here then?” Phil asks, flopping down onto the bed and leaning his back against the wall as he watches Dan.

“It’s mostly some notes about Schubert. We have to study the last few decades of his life, so I bought a few books from home with me that I thought I’d be able to flick through. And um,” he picks up a piece of paper, “I’ve also got to work towards a portfolio of compositions, so really I’ve got a mountain of stuff to do.”

“Sounds daunting.”

“Mmmm.” He sits down in the chair next to Phil’s desk, adjusting the angle of the lamp as he kicks off his shoes. “So,” he continues, turning around, “what are you up to then?”

Phil nonchalantly waves his book in the air. “Just Beowulf.” 

Dan scoffs. “Just Beowulf? Come on, Phil! It’s only one of the most important pieces of English literature of all time!” Shaking his head in disbelief, he turns back around. “‘Just Beowulf’... Jesus.”

After a couple of minutes of silence Phil suddenly realises that Dan has started working. As in actually working. In the past they had both joked about being chronic procrastinators, and so Phil had predicted that the night would end up with them talking about books, politics or musicals instead of doing homework. He’s a bit surprised that Dan was serious about wanting to use his room just to study in, and to be truthful, he’s also a little disappointed. 

To make matters worse, as the other boy works away Phil finds himself unable to concentrate on the book in front of him; no matter how hard he tries to focus, all thoughts invariably trace back to his companion. He examines the back of his neck, the collar of his shirt, the knit of his jumper and how it falls on his lanky build. Dan will occasionally sing or hum a tune to himself, scribble something down and then repeat that same harmony with a few added notes, moving the fingers on his right hand as if he were in front of a piano. It’s a peaceful sight, captivatingly peaceful, and his concentration trickles down the drain. To hell with reading anyway. 

His thoughts meander back to a familiar daydream; Dan’s life in Wokingham. Phil’s imagination frequently returns to a scene of Dan sitting in a lavish study, playing the piano as golden sun leaks through an open window, balmy air wafting inside on a sweet summer evening. In tonight’s incarnation Phil envisions himself there sitting on the wooden floor, pondering over verses of romantic poetry, reading aloud a particularly pleasant stanza to Dan who would glance up from the piano and give him one of those warm, glowing smiles where his dimples make him look utterly angeli-

It’s a silly dream really, very silly indeed, and Phil feels ashamed for ever having dreamt it. With a glum sense of self-restraint, he turns back to his homework and tries extra-hard to concentrate on it. 

An hour or so passes in the little room on staircase nine, and after a while Phil finds himself lulled into the lethargic contentment that only rewards avid readers, and to his amazement he realises that Anglo-Saxon poetry about Danish kings and mythical beasts isn’t as tedious as he had previously dreaded. 

Satisfied with his progress, he bookmarks his page and closes the book with a thump. Dan’s neck twitches at the sound, and, as if abruptly reminded of the existence of the outside world, he drops his pen, massages his hands, and stretches his long, slender arms out into the air behind him. 

“Right, I’m throwing in the towel or else I shall die of a Schu-verload,” he exhales, leaning backwards and cracking his spine on the back of the chair.

“Schu...verload?” 

Dan swivels around to give him a dry scowl. “Schubert-overload, you fool.”

“Oh!” Phil exclaims, and the pair of them erupt into laughter. “Sorry, my brain has just been fried by one-thousand year old poetry. I’m feeling a bit,” he yawns, “a bit sleepy.”

Getting up from his chair and stretching some more, Dan paces over to the window and peers out of it before unhinging the lock and propping it open. Cold air sails through the room, ruffling his curls as he stares out into the dark night.

“Nice view you’ve got from up here.”

“Thanks,” Phil quips, fully aware of the fact that his room faces into a fairly dull courtyard.

“I’m serious. I think it’s grand that you’ve got a view of the chapel. It’s terribly romantic.” He steps away from the window, attention turning to a nearby shelf which houses a small record collection that appears to spark his enthusiasm. “You’ve got some superb albums here. Handel, Tchaikovsky, Chopin…” He looks over to where Phil has propped himself up against his headboard. “I respect those choices.” 

“Thanks, although I mainly put them on for background noise. I’m not a major classical geek or anything.”

The other boy guffaws. “Like me?”

“No, not like you,” Phil tuts, and his pretend frown turns into another yawn.

“Busy day?” Dan grins.

“Busy day, busy week, busy month. Hectic month, in fact.”

Nodding in solidarity Dan sits down at the bottom of Phil’s bed and reclines with his back against the wall, closing his eyes with a faint smile still on his face. As the pair of them sit in silence Phil's own eyelids get heavier, and budding in his chest is a drowsy desire to snuggle up into a cosy cocoon and burrow into the bedcovers, falling deeper and deeper into the comfort of his soft, warm sheets...

When he awakes, Dan is staring straight at him.

“Hmmm, what? Did I fall asleep?”

“Quite possibly. God, I know I’m about to.” Dan’s eyelids flicker downwards as his smile fades. He looks exhausted, really exhausted, and Phil feels like there’s something he should do about it.

“Hey.” 

Dan’s shoots up. Phil shuffles across his narrow bed and moves closer to the wall, patting the small space next to him in invitation. The other boy’s eyes widen for a moment before he melts into a soft, sleepy smile, then gets up slowly and gingerly sits on the bed, lies down next to Phil, then shuffles around so that he’s facing...facing him...and then closes his eyes as if it’s nothing.

Phil blinks in confusion. His more logical side knows that sleeping on the same bed as a friend is something that people do without batting an eyelid, but next to Dan it feels different - symbolic, even. Regardless, or perhaps because of that feeling, he shuffles round to face the other man and observes his sleeping face, his pale skin, his dark freckles, his thick brown eyebrows and long brown eyelashes. 

Suddenly, the eyelashes open.

“Phil?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For letting me use your room to study in, you doofus,” he teases, words coming out slightly sluggish.

“Mmmm, that’s alright. It’s the least I can do considering how you spoiled me last Saturday. I think I should be the one thanking you.”

Dan shifts slightly, and Phil feels their shins are now pressed up against each other. His soul sings. If he were more awake his heart might be racing in an exhilarated panic, but in his tired state all he can do is feel strangely happy. Happy...and cold.

“Why on earth is it so freezing in here?” he asks, confused and a little dazed, and as he props himself up on his elbow he sees that the window has been left open. “Da-an!”

“What?” he whines through the pillow.

“You didn’t close the window!”

“Close it then.”

Phil groans, flopping back down onto the bed. “I can’t be bothered!”

“Well in that case we’ll just have to huddle together like penguins then,” and with his eyes still closed Dan moves across the bed until their faces are centimetres apart. Now Phil’s heart starts to quicken.

“I can’t, it’s too much.”

Dan’s eyes fly open as Phil gets up from the bed and walks over to the window. Worried that he’s made a deadly mistake he buries his head into the pillow and waits for Phil to order him out of his room, out into the cold, out into the darkness for a long, lonely walk back to his own miserable dormitory.

The window clunks shut, and then the bed becomes a lot heavier. Dan removes his face from the pillow to see Phil gazing down at him.

“I thought…I thought you were about to abandon me.”

“What? Abandon you? Where would I go?” He chuckles. “I was cold, that’s all. I wouldn’t leave you here like that.” 

Dan beams up at him with flushed cheeks. “You still cold?”

A smirk lets itself out. “Maybe.”

Dan unfurls his right arm across the width of the bed and lifts his left arm into the air. Phil slowly begins to panic. A hug? Is he pulling him in for a hug? A hug with Dan and his arms wrapped around him holding him lying there together on his bed a-

Okay. 

Enough.

Phil looks back at Dan. His stare is dark and strong, profound and meaningful, and it makes him feel safe. He takes the plunge and lowers himself down. Dan pulls him into a hug, arms wrapping around his back and drawing him close to his chest. Phil can hear the low thump of Dan’s heartbeat and smell the warm, musky scent that lingers on his jumper. He places his arms on Dan’s ribcage, fingers fiddling with the cable knit patterns. The pair adjust themselves slightly, moving shoulders, moving heads, moving their legs and intertwining them together, drifting off to the wide, sleepy sea in a boat built for two.

Chapter 4.5 - Rubber Ring

Phil had been asleep.

Phil had been asleep, until somebody had knocked on his door. 

Phil had been planning on going back to sleep, until through the still of night he had heard a familiar voice whispering his name.

Shaking the sleep from his bones, Phil opens his curtains, stumbles towards the door, turns the key in the lock and prepares himself for whatever lies waiting for him in the hallway.

“Dan?”

“G’d evening”

“W...what are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t sleep. Fancy a stroll?”

“A stroll? Are you insane?” Phil repeats mockingly, shivering from the cool air in the hallway. “Dan, it’s...” He checks his wrist, and frowns when he sees that it’s naked.

“1 a.m. on a Wednesday night? I know. So, what d’you say?”

Really, he should say no. He really should. It’s one in the morning, it’s a weeknight, he’s got lectures tomorrow and the weather outside is probably cold enough to freeze him to his core within five minutes. He should say no, he really should, but there’s something about roaming the shadowy streets at midnight with Dan that’s far too exciting to turn down.

“Give me thirty seconds and I’ll be right with you.”

Diving back into his room to grab the first items of clothing that he sees, Phil can’t help but feel slightly frenzied. When Dan was in his room last it had ended with the pair of them falling asleep entangled in each other’s arms. Phil hadn’t forgotten that. He had far from forgotten that. Memories of that night had floated through the air ever since, landing on him with the delicate wings of a wistful daydream that left him blushing as it flew away. Now, to both his surprise and his delight, this same boy is knocking on his door and asking for his accompaniment on a ridiculous small-hour escapade.

As he wraps his scarf around his collar, he looks across the room to the moonlit part of his pinboard. One particular piece of paper stands out, and he moves in closer to read it - it’s a quote scribbled onto a scrap of blue paper.

“I looked up at the mass of signs and stars in the night sky and laid myself open for the first time to the benign indifference of the world." 

How strange. He’s had that Albert Camus line scribbled onto a piece of paper for years now, and yet never in his life has it seemed so appropriate as it does right this moment. With a peculiar feeling of rebirth he thrusts his feet into the nearest pair of shoes he can find, and opens the door into the corridor. 

Dan is leaning against the wall of the hallway. The pose strikes him as familiar, and with a shock of nostalgia Phil is transported back to the night when the two of them first met. He remembers how Dan stood in the doorway to the photography club - arms folded, ankles crossed, sly smirk plastered to his mischievous face. How things have changed between them since then. 

Phil locks the door, pockets the key, and when he turns around Dan is staring absentmindedly at the floor with his eyes boring holes into nothingness. Suddenly he blinks, looks up, and his eyes instantly meet Phil’s with a vivid, bittersweet gaze that makes everything else in the world feel like it’s falling away.

It feels like the passing touch of a stranger’s hand on the small of his back at a lavish party. It feels like the shock of a cherry liqueur that stuns the taste buds and leaves behind a decadent, sumptuous and moreish aftertaste. It feels like the sight of a full moon from the balcony of his Grecian holiday home, wind rustling through the leaves as the waves whisper beneath him. Phil’s heart melts... and then he realises. 

He just might be in love.

“What are you thinking about?” Dan asks, breaking the silence as his eyelids hang low. Phil looks at those dark, pretty eyelashes on those dark, pretty eyes, rolls his shoulders back, and sighs.

“Mmmm, nothing.” 

He turns to walk down the narrow hallway with Dan following close behind. They push through the heavy wooden door at the end of the hallway and descend onto the staircase, making their way down the steps that lead out of the building.

“So tell me then, how did you manage to get up to my room?” Phil inquires. “Did Rapunzel let her hair down over the Fellow’s Garden wall for you to use as a rope to climb up?”

Dan laughs. “No, not quite.”

“Well go on then, how did you do it? Surely the main college door would have been locked?”

“Not tonight apparently, I pushed it, and lo and behold it was open. There wasn’t a porter there either. Poor sod’s probably raiding the college’s wine cellar,” he adds with a chuckle.

“Dan! The porters aren’t drunkards.”

“I know I know, but it must be bloody boring just sitting there all night. I know I’d raid the stash if I were them.”

“What, and allow unruly boys who can’t settle down to come and break in to the college grounds? You’d make a great porter.”

“That is why I am not a porter, but a devilish, wicked boy who breaks into colleges so he can sneak into other boys’ bedrooms,” he smiles.

Phil’s mind almost shuts down at that latter part. Out of sheer bewilderment his brain decides to respond by bellowing out “you are a saucy boy” in his best Lord Capulet impression, which has the effect of making Dan double over into a fit of laughter, tears streaming down his face as he wheezes the word “saucy” through silent giggles.  

As they exit the building they’re struck by the biting December cold. Careful to tread lightly across the echoing stone slabs, they stealth across the smaller quad that Phil’s bedroom faces into, creep past the chapel, and step through to the larger quad wherein lies a perfectly-maintained square lawn.

“Hey!” Dan whispers.

“What?”

“Shall we walk across the grass?”

“What? Dan! We can’t do that!” Phil hisses. “We’ll get caught and fined and-”

“Oh stop it! We’re already breaking the rules by sneaking out past 10 p.m. Tarnishing an overly-pampered lawn isn’t any worse.”

Before Phil has time to protest, Dan has already set foot on the forbidden pasture.

“Dan stop! For fuc-”

“Catch me if you can!” 

The boy runs around in circles as Phil loiters on the edge, deliberating on whether or not he should join in, until he looks around the quad and, upon seeing nobody, finally decides to indulge in Dan’s game. They race around the turf, skidding and slipping and ripping up the grass. Phil tries to reach Dan, but no matter how hard he struggles he never seems to be able to catch up.

“What’s that Lester? Too slow are we?” Dan taunts, placing a hand on his hip.

That’s it, Phil thinks. 

Time to put Dan in his place. 

With a final burst of energy Phil lunges forward, hurtling himself towards the other man in a push that sends them crashing to the floor, foreheads colliding with a knock that’ll have both of them bruised by the time the sun shines.

“Ow, shit! My head!”

“You alright?”

Phil rolls off onto the cold lawn, swiftly disentangling himself from the mess of limbs as Dan pushes himself off the ground with a grunt of effort.

“Jesus Christ Phil! What are you, some sort of juggernaut?”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! Sometimes I don’t know my own strength.”

Dan breathes in deeply, eyes flitting over Phil’s body before travelling back up to meet him.

“Evidently not.”

There’s a moment of silence as they recover, and Phil notices that a few blades of grass are stuck to Dan’s face. Without thinking he reaches out a hand to brush them off, fingers briefly skimming across the surface of the boy’s cheek. Dan’s eyes are wide, and his breath is hot against Phil’s hand, lips parted as his eyes lock with Phil’s. There’s a presence in those eyes that Phil has seen before. Inspecting. Asking. Phil wants to trace his thumb across the surface of Dan’s panting mouth with those big, blinking, innocent eyes staring up at him, maybe slip in a finger and feel that soft, wet tongue...but the flare of uncertainty in his chest tells him to remove his hand, stand up from the ground, and say “shall we get going then?” in the steadiest voice he can muster.

After hoisting Dan up from the ground they creep across the quad towards the lodge where the porter sits. Or rather, where the porter normally sits.

“Hmmm. Still nobody here,” Dan confirms, crooking his head around the front desk.

Phil opens the latch of the small door and steps out. “Quickly then. We don’t want to get caught.” Dan hurries across the cobbled entrance, following him through the exit as it shuts behind them with a soft click.

As soon as they’re out the college gates Dan reaches into his coat and pulls out a small bottle of alcohol. Ah. That would explain a lot. He offers it to Phil, who nods in gratitude and takes a sip.

“Eurgh!” 

Dan laughs. “You don’t like whiskey?” Phil screws his eyes shut, shaking his head as if trying to rid himself of the taste. “Ah well - more for me!” 

On second thoughts, if Dan’s already drunk Phil doesn’t want to be the only one who’s sober, and so he reaches for the bottle with grabbing hands as Dan takes a healthy swig. Although he raises his eyebrows at Phil’s unexplained change of opinion, he hands it over regardless. As they amble through the streets Dan takes the drink back, downing it at an alarming rate, and by the time they’ve made their way to the highroad the vessel is as good as gone. 

“Ah, here we are,” Dan cries, “the theatre!” Phil winces - he’s a little on the loud side.

“I saw a fan-tastic production here the other week. The Phantom of the Opera it was. Bloody blil..bloody brilliant,” he slurs, waving the empty bottle around in his hand. “Very fine chap playing Erik, very fine...” He sighs. “I wanted to be an opera singer, y’know. Dunno know what ‘appened to that.”

Phil frowns. “What d’you mean ‘dunno what happened to that’? You can still have a shot at it.”

“You know, that’s very true,” he mutters, “very true...” 

As they walk down the deserted road the only sound to be heard is the clacking of their heeled shoes, until they turn down an ill-lit side-street and Dan begins to hum a tune that sounds familiar. 

“Is that-”

“The Phantom of the Opera? You didn’t say you’d seen it!” 

Before Phil can gush about his love of musicals, Dan unexpectedly bursts into song.

“Beneath the opera house,

I know he’s there,

He’s with me on the stage,

He’s everywhere.”

For a moment, Phil forgets how to think. He hadn’t expected Dan’s voice to be so high pitched, so silky and delicate and feminine.

“And when my song begins,

I always find,

The phantom of the opera is there,

Inside my mind.”

Dan nods his head as if expecting a reaction. Ah. The next part of the song is sung by The Phantom. Hesitant to embarrass himself but too tipsy to care, Phil takes in a deep breath and attempts to remember the lyrics.

“Since once again with me,

A strange duet.

I power over you,

Grow stronger yet.

You give your love to me,

For love is blind.

The phantom of the opera is now,

Your mastermind.”

He looks back at Dan, whose gawk transforms into a grin.

“Those who have seen your face,

Draw back in fear.

I am the mask you wear.”

Another expectant look from Dan. Oh!

“It’s me they hear!”

If he’s correct, they sing the next part together.

“My spirit and my voice,

In one command.

The Phantom of The Opera is there,

Inside your mind.”

Phil could have died on the spot - their voices sound amazing together. He turns around to beam at Dan, but Dan’s too busy acting to notice.

“The Phantom of the Opera,

He’s there.

The Phantom of the Opera.” 

He waltzes out into the road, obviously getting into it. Phil follows, and their voices combine more. 

“Sing once again with me,

A strange duet.”

“My power over you

Grows stronger yet.”

“You give your love to me ,

For love is blind.

The Phantom of The Opera is now,

My mastermind.”

“Sing my angel of music!” Phil cries.

“He’s there,

The Phan-tom of the O-per-aaaaa”

“Sing once again with me,

For a strange duet.”

Dan finishes off the song with the highest note Phil has ever heard come from a man. Bursting into laughter, he bows to a one-man audience as Phil claps and shouts “bravo!”, throwing invisible roses onto an invisible stage before turning to walk down the street.

“Thank you, thank you,” Dan giggles, buzzing with adrenaline as he looks at Phil, who responds with equal spirit. He isn’t quite sure what just happened, but something about their voices combining together like that felt spectacular. It felt special. As their smiles fade, Dan looks as though he wants to speak.

“Phil,” he begins, “can I...can I compliment you?”

“Of course.”

“You have the most incredible voice. Seriously.”

Phil is stupefied. Really? His voice, “incredible”? 

Something wells up inside his chest, something wild and fleeting and frantic that makes him want to sprint and shout and bowl Dan over with a tackle or a hug or just give in to his long-restrained yearning and just grab his charming, boyish face and just kiss it-

Instead, he reaches out a hand, and lightly taps Dan on the nose with his finger.

“Phil, I think you are the strangest person that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.”

“Hey, you’re equally weird,” he teases. 

“I know. That’s why I think you’re so wonderful.”

It’s his shy smile that tips Phil over the edge. He reaches out and pulls Dan into a hug that’s forceful and rough, throwing his arms around his shoulders and squeezing him tight as Dan instantly wraps his arms around him, gripping with equal vigour until they can’t get any closer.

“Thank you for agreeing to go on this mad walk with me. It’s just that I...I couldn’t sleep. This stupid performance is in two days and I’ve got so much work to do and I-” His voice cracks. Phil says nothing but rubs Dan’s back in consolation. After a while, the other boy pulls away. 

“Sorry,” he mutters, avoiding Phil’s eye.

“Don’t be sorry. You’re stressed, it’s understandable. I don’t mind anyway, it was my pleasure.” They begin walking. “Don’t worry about all this school work, you’ve got enough time to sort it out before the performance. If you don’t finish it, who cares - you can do it over the holidays.”

With a big sniff, Dan nods. “Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”

“As for Friday, I’m sure it’ll go smoothly. If you fluff a line just get your sword out and start duelling the audience with your fencing skills. They won’t know what hit them. Literally.”

“Let's hope I don’t fluff anything then, because I don’t want to have to kill you in a sword fight.”

“Aha! How bold you are to assume that I would lose! In fact, I, Philip Michael Lester, otherwise known as... Lance Lester, am a master of sword fighting, known throughout the land for my trusty steel and quick foot.” He snatches at the bottle in Dan’s hand, holding it by its neck. “This was my father's poniard, do you see? I'd be loth to see 't look rusty, 'cause 'twas his.”

Dan cackles, high pitched and loud. “Oh Phil, you’re such a geek, you know that right?”

“Oi - that’s Lance Lester to you!”

“Oh yeah? More like Feeble Phil,” he teases, jabbing at the other boy’s stomach. It doesn’t take long before they start to pretend-fight, scuffling in the street and tussling with each other all the way back home, gradually getting louder and more competitive until they circle back to Turl Street.

“Hey, hey, shhh!” Phil hisses. “We’re back at my college.”

Dan unclences Phil from a headlock and looks up. “We are indeed. Let’s hope the door’s still unlocked.” 

Phil gives it a gentle push, and it opens with a creak. Wriggling free from Dan’s grasp he slips into the entrance, standing with one foot it and one foot out, propping the door open with his chest.

“Well, good luck for rehearsals then. I’ll be at the chapel for…”

“For eight o’clock.”

“Eight o’clock. Right.”

Dan’s face falls. 

“My God.”

“What? What’s the matter?”

“I nearly forgot. Oh, what a disaster that would have been.” 

Phil raises an eyebrow. 

“On the night of the performance the chap I share a room with is going out, so I’m inviting a handful of people back to my room for a little party afterwards. I kept meaning to invite you but I never got round to it. Please say you can make it!”

“It’d be my pleasure.” 

Dan beams. “Perfect, I’ll see you there.” 

He turns away and walks up the street, hands thrust into his trouser pockets as he hurries back to his room. Phil stands at the door, watching. When Dan reaches the corner of the road he turns his head to face backwards, and, although he’s too far away to be sure, Phil is certain that he can feel the warmth of a smile shooting through the air and landing on his breast like the golden tip of Cupid’s pointed arrow, spreading through his body with a tender warmth.

[pinkletterday]

Writer's Year In Review

This year has been a revelation. I went from deeply, irrevocably believing I can't write fiction at all to knowing that I'm actually pretty good at it!

It's given me the confidence to find work as a freelance writer and editor in real life, after years of unemployment and anxious paralysis resulting from chronic illness and trauma. A lot of other factors also helped but the fic writing played a huge role in getting my shit together.

General Fic Stats:

Word Count on AO3: 92284

Fics posted to AO3: 23

Favourite Fic:

Kiss It Better (Westallen).This fic is my baby. I love little Iris and little Barry in it so much, the hurt and confusion in each other they attempted to heal, how that healing carried into their adult love and family. It will always and always be my favourite thing I have ever written. Wee!stallen is my jam, and the reason I ship them so damn hard.

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). Ngl, I love this for the sheer amount of truly gratifying comments. Every single one of them have been emotional and flaily. It all makes me feel like I may have finally levelled up. Hallelujah. xD

Funniest Fic:

The Care and Feeding (Queenwestallen). This is my ultimate OT3. This fic, written as a list and discussion is 95% humour and contains some of my best banter and (I feel) characterization. An element I'm really proud of is how I managed to center and include all their important non-romantic relationships in their conversations. Iris's boisterous female friends, Oliver's friends, Cisco and Caitlin's snarky commentary all shoehorned themselves into the list with hilarious and wholesome results. 

It's not a popular OT3 but I feel like it's a good first attempt to drag this ship to water. xD

Cutest Fic:

Dancing Queen (Olivarry). Even after a year this contiues to be the fic with the highest kudos ratio (except for the more recent one) and the second most bookmarked. I love getting comments on this because they are all some variation of "my teeth hurt. I have diabetes!" xD Well, I did build it around a rainbow sprinkle icing sugar donut, but there is a significant dollop of angst there in the middle. A flangst donut.

Your Vigil In My Keeping (Westallen). This fic has less than 200 hits but has the highest kudos ratio of all. I guess kid fic isn't everyone's cup of tea, but Wee!stallen is cute af yo. I headcanon the origins of Barry and Iris's steadfast partnership in this story, where her faith and belief in him is as strong as his protectiveness of her, all tied up in the language and innocence of children.

Kinkiest Fic:

WA Smut and Kink Collection. I literally just posted this yesterday lol. So far it's just a face-sitting short, but I have quite a few hard and soft kinks lined up. Westallen needs more hard smut tbh, and they have such a unique powerfully loving dynamic that every kink I'm writing has required me to come at it a little bit sideways with a whole lot of emotional focus.

Saddest Fic:

Three fics I can't choose from.

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). This is basically Iris's grief and fear in a raging tempest, and it's strongly implied that the future Nora has warned them of will come to pass regardless of what they do. The fact is that there already is and will be a timeline where Iris loses Barry, just as there must be one where she won't, because that is the nature of potentiality. 

The Paradigm of Uncertainty (Westallen). This was a drabble almost, that ruminates on the probability that speedsters do not erase timelines but abandon them, along those versions of their loved ones. It's as @rkwago's brilliant comment says: "Iris hurts in so many weird, cosmic ways that her life is almost an eldritch horror house," which is the most perfect description ever of what it means to be a time traveller's wife.

The Universal Constant (Gen, background WA). A lot of people find the way Barry goes off on Joe cathartic in this fic, and so do I. But it's not so simple. I don't think Joe was wrong to form the views he did, or that anyone was in the wrong really. As @sophiainspace pointed out, it's a mediation of grief and love, their parallels and continuations between parents and children and lovers. The fact that it takes Henry's death for Barry to find the adult language to articulate to Joe why he will always believe in his father's innocence is a tragedy that cuts three ways.

(This fic is also the reason I have a folder in my drive marked "how to get away with murder" and probably a likely reason to get me arrested one day. xD)

Most Popular Fic:

Strangers In The Cold (Coldflash). The Coldflash fandom is a joy to feed. This was my first smut fic which was preceded by an entire chapter of banter about nothing in particular (except it ended up establishing a background that gave birth to the Coldflash vs Olivarry polyam series) And holy wow, for a newbie writer, the response has been amazing. Looking back, I wince at a lot of writing mistakes and its undeniably rough, but it really bolstered my confidence.

(I feel a little guilty that all my other CF stories are still in my WiP folder while I update the polyam series at snail's pace.)

The Shape of Us (Westallen). I wrote this on tumblr half-asleep one night, half as a rambly headcanon...and woke up to literally one hundred freaking notes. What the hell. Now at over 260, it's the most popular fic I've ever posted on tumblr.

I never consciously intended it to be a body-positivity fic but apparently women really relate to the insecurities of growing older and watching our bodies change with marriage, children and the sheer hectic pace of life. Even my non-fandom friends reblogged it simply for its representation of "real women". Barry's response is my own wish fulfillment fantasy; the sort of total acceptance and validation that we wish we could hear it the times we can't find it in ourselves. In light of the virulent body-shaming Candice Patton has been subjected to ever since she was revealed to have gained a fuller figure in S5, I'm very glad to have written it.

Least Popular Fic:

Carry On (Gen) This character study of Oliver Queen only has 135 hits a year after posting, which is par for the course with gen. But has a solid 12% kudos ratio, which means it's probably as good as I think it is. It's one of my favourite and easiest fics I have ever written.

Love Me Like You Do (Olivarry) Lordy, if my first Coldflash smut filled me with confidence, my first Olivarry smutfic all but ruined it. I struggled with it for a long time, unlike SitC, which I suppose shows in the over-descriptions. I got carried away with the quipping and I guess Barry topping at all is really not popular with slash fans?

Still, I'm honestly toying with the idea of deleting and rewriting it. At least it was a learning experience - don't write smut unless it makes you feel horny yourself.  

Most Challenging Fic:

Do Not Go Gentle (Westallen). I think the reason stories you knock off in two hours are instantly popular while the ones you slaved over for weeks barely get any attention is because the process is reflected in the ease of reading. But this one is an exception. It was an absolute monster, taking three weeks and several revisions to wrestle into submission - and it paid off in spades!  Going by the response, I seem to have achieved the wow factor I was going for.

My only regret is that I posted it on tumblr before the last revision that finally made it work, so that too many readers saw the lacklustre version rather than the polished one.

Honorable Mention:

A Stitch In Time (Olivarry for now, eventual Queenwestallen) Baby's first multi-chapter! Admittedly chapters 3 and 4 have been languishing in my drive for a few months now and this thing has 100% more deleted scenes and outtakes posted to my tumblr than the actual story on AO3. But I'm so proud of it! I learned to write action scenes because of it, how to write climaxes, dream sequences, news articles and tell a story in several different formats. It made me rediscover my empathy for Felicity and write her as a PoV character, think deeply on Laurel Lance's losses and give voice to her struggles, and explore how a real friendship and understanding could evolve between Oliver and Iris out of their mutual love for Barry. (Centering female characters within manpain narratives, ftw! Otoh, I centered Iris so much it veered off the Olivarry rails into Queenwestallen territory on its own)

There is so much meaty conflict and delicious looming disaster in this story that I'm determined going to keep at it, even if slow and steady. If only to bring the light of Barry/Iris/Oliver into the world. xD

Holding On (Olivarry). This real-world disability AU deals with chronic and mental illness and the precariousness and personal demons of that reality. I tore out the rawest parts of my life for this fic and put them on display so that I couldn't bear to show it to anyone for a year after it was written.

I'm very glad I did finally brush it off and put it up because it has struck a chord with so many people, especially other Spoonies. The low number of hits on a fic that deals in hurt/comfort rather stings, as I can't help but think the disinterest is because of the "disability" and "neurodivergence" tags. But I still think it's one of the best things I've written and one I'll always be proudest of.

General Reflections:

Things I've learned over the past year of writing:

- Self-deprecation is not my friend. I need to be honest enough with myself to acknowledge when my writing is good, because either I self-validate and build confidence or I become a black hole of insecurity where validation goes to die. And if I think I'm a bit better than I actually am, it's not just okay but necessary to believe it.

- What I call writer's block is perfectionism, anxiety and physical and mental fatigue. If I don't eat, sleep, hydrate and acheive a relaxed mental state, I won't be able to write. 

- Momentum is more my friend than any amount of inspiration and motivation. Sitting my ass down and make it a habit to churn out X number of words a day, even bad writing, will do more to help me than polishing an idea to a high shine. 

- If I don't forgive myself for the stories I can't write I'll never write anything. I am doing this for free, to share the love and joy and therefore obligated to no one. 

- I'm capable of writing things I don't have the first idea how to write. My fingers on a keyboard can paint the picture my brain can't visualize. 

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I am going to make it a personal goal to write at least 15k words per month, learn to stick to a posting schedule where possible.  and end next year with an additional 150k words posted. 

To everyone who follows this blog, commented, reblogged and liked my posts - I see and remember and appreciate every one of you. You're the reason I feel seen and valued and why I am motivated to keep writing through all the difficulties life throws at me. <3<3<3

[fanfictionlive]

There's nothing quite like a long multi-chapter fic to remind you that you're a terrible writer

I've been writing ever since I was a small child and posted my first fanfiction in 2012. About 90% of what I write never makes it onto my preferred platform because it's my main source of therapy without having to go to actual therapy. I write for myself and myself only with a few exceptions that amounted to a handful of publicised short oneshots between 2012 and 2018.

Then, I got back into Naruto which I used to watch during my school days and recently decided to watch on Netflix out of pure nostalgia. Then I was bored one day and went on AO3 only to absolutely binge fanfiction and within weeks I consumed everything that I liked.

Of course eventually there was nothing left that held my interest so I did what I always do, namely write my own stuff. So I did and on a complete whim I posted the finished work only to be completely blown away by the reception.

Now for a big fandom like Naruto, in comparison to everything else that's out there my fic barely got any attention. But for the first time in my life I got so many positive comments, kudos and bookmarks that I almost cried because I was so happy. Because I just couldn't believe that other people could so thoroughly enjoy something that I created.

After that I wrote more and posted more and after warring with myself for days, decided to finally tackle the beast that is multi-chapter works.

I have serious issues with following through or generally, committing to anything, but if there's one thing I HATE it's unfinished fanfictions and I know I would be seriously disgusted by myself if I ever did that. I have an entire graveyard of unfinished fics in my private folders, countless scrapped ideas and I always hated myself for being unable to finish any of them.

I think it's easy to imagine how terrified I was when I posted the first chapter of a long fic I planned and I set myself three day deadlines to stress myself enough to not get lost in my worries. Predictably, I burned myself out which I somewhat jokingly addressed in the chapter notes. An extremely helpful reviewer told me to remember to take breaks because lethargy was awful and they'd prefer quality over quantity.

That comment helped relax me immensely and felt like I had gotten permission to update less frequently. I'm notoriously unable to do anything I tell myself but respond better to others. So I relaxed my schedule from every three days to once a week which is a massive improvement since it leaves me with enough time to enjoy other things like video games and such.

Now that was a lot of rambling but here's my big problem. I absolutely, completely, hate my own writing. In my opinion it's great for short works. I'm not a native English speaker and my vocabulary works well with short pieces. I think I have a small talent for delivering a lot in short paragraphs and making them impactful. I certainly love my oneshots and the pieces I call fragment works best. They also get the best responses.

Except I started and committed to a long multi-chapter fanfiction. And I hate most of it. Now don't get me wrong, I love the plot and the characters and it makes me happy because it's mainly something I write for myself. But good LORD, the writing. I spend half my time googling for synonyms and despairing over the amount of "and's", "before's", "until's", "things" and "the/they/them's". Like holy shit, I have the vocabulary of a damn three year old. I get stuck on simple scenes all the time not because I don't know what I want to happen (I meticulously planned the entire storyline from start to finish before I even began writing even though I occasionally diverted from my outline) but because I simply do not know how to express myself.

I certainly respect authors of amazing long fics much more than before. Rationally I know that there's no point comparing myself to others which will only lead me down the road of obsessing over my inadequacies even more but I expected the major hurdle being my lack of commitment. Not my shitty writing.

I live for the moments when the story just flows and writes itself but then I look it over later and all I can see are the words I keep repeating as well as the same grammar structures I use all the time.

It's terrible to have so many amazing ideas and so many stories you really, honestly want to tell only to be held back by yourself. I know I should stick to my strengths. Most of the time I do. But shit, this ended up so much more stressful than I thought it would and in a completely unexpected way too.

​

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. I'm so tired.

submitted by /u/chararii [link] [comments] from FanFiction: Where Magical Ponies battle Imperial Titans https://ift.tt/2NCH1Lg

[ricekrispyjoints]

author about me

Tagged by @frenchibi​ !!!

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

no it’s not about weed my dad used to call me ricekrispies because of how easily i can crack a lot of my joints. he said i “snap crackle and pop”. so that’s me !

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

my absolute fave iwaoi piece that i’ve written, Learning to Walk (So that We Can Run) i’m so proud of it and so glad that it’s gotten so much love

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

it’s a manga cap of oikawa going “so fun~” bc i love my son xD

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

i’ve had a few people who will like, go through and read all my stuff in one go? and tbh i don’t get a lot of comments so really my favorite is everyone who decides to actually comment xD

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

There’s like. so many. i have literally over a hundred haikyuu fics bookmarked alone.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

according to ao3 i have 12 pages of subscriptions xD some of those have been abandoned i fear but i refuse to unsubscribe in case they return from the dead! bookmarks i have..... idk probably about 200 across all fandoms? the majority of that is haikyuu, but my yoi collection is growing.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

i’m not really sure... lately i’ve been working on a lot of trans hc’s, but of my published stuff idk if there’s really a pattern

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

116 user subs, 1936 bookmarks

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

at this point i’ve already crossed into writing smut, which was like fear #1 xD

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I just want to get more stuff written and published! i have so many more ideas than what i’ve actually put out there because I tend to bite off more than i can chew with some AUs...

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

i feel like i write majority iwaoi but of my published stuff it’s only 5/14 haikyuu fics?? xD my drafts folder, on the other hand.... i have a couple “rarepair” ships that i’ve written for (kurodai, hanamatsu) but i think the majority is popular ships

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

19 (but i orphaned a bunch of old johnlock fics lolll): 14 haikyuu, 3 snk, 2 yoi

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

uhhh 122 for fanfic, 84 original

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

usually write them down, but sometimes i like to leave them in my head while i kind of play with different ideas, before it becomes a solid story

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

not yet, but @frenchibi​ and i are gonna do something together !!

16. How did you discover AO3?

probably through tumblr? bc i was living my life on ff.net until suddently ao3 was like. everywhere xD

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

lmao no not at all xD

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

pfft no

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

i don’t really remember? i’ve been writing (non-fandom) since i was a kid, but i don’t know what got me started. childhood is kinda hazy for me D: now, my friends have been a huge inspiration to keep me going, helped beta things for me, bounce ideas around... that kind of thing :)

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

start small. i mean yes, there are people who are successful at like “this is my first fic ever! it’s an 80k wip!!” but i highly recommend starting with shorter stuff. get a feel for world building, character development (esp if it’s original writing!), and oh my gosh endings ?? the worst.

also just write what you love. if you want to hc everyone in the entire show as a bunch of trans gay people, then do it. who cares if that’s “unrealistic”. who cares! if it makes you happy, do it.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

depends. for short one shots, it’s usually like “oh what if this happened!” and then i just write it all out. for longer things or multi-chapters, i like to outline where i’m going, major plot points, etc. for my longest fic to date (152k) i had a separate like 20k document of backstory, character info, etc.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

happily, no. i’ve had a couple of comments with like, suggestions or polite criticism, but never of the work in general and always really kind and well-meaning.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

smut continues to be a challenge, tho i like to think i’m getting better at it? and angst. i love to read it, but i don’t think i’m so good at writing it.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

currently editing my nanowrimo project, rising, which i have now posted chapter 1 of!

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

i have so many pans in the fire it’s crazy but i do prioritize one particular story at a time

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

honestly no. during nanowrimo i did, but i’m in grad school and unfortunately personal writing has taken a back seat to that

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

oh my gosh yes yes yes. a million times. i started when i was like. a child. i have read some of my old stuff and Y I K E S. cringey.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

definitely my knee surgery recovery fic, but followed closely by an original piece i wrote about my mental illness.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

um anything i wrote for the bbc sherlock fandom i orphaned many moons ago. xD

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

i want to get back into a little of my original stuff again, but hopefully continue writing fanfic.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

sometimes when you just get into the flow of it and it feels like no time has passed but you’ve written like 4k in one go xD

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

endings. i don’t know how to finish a story. two of my nanowrimo projects (original fiction) just. are sitting on my comp. unfinished. it hurts :(

33. Why do you write?

because i think language is amazing and i like bending it to what i want to express

thank you so much for tagging me, this was fun and a great way to procrastinate my homework

i don’t really know a lot of authors?? so if you are an author and want to do this, i am officially tagging you :D

[itsclowreedsfault]

I was tagged by @lovingnikiforov​. Thank you Dessa <3

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

I used to have a different username which I dare not say because it was so fucking embarassing, back from my FF.net and writing for HP when I was 12 days lol right before I started writing for BNHA though I changed my AO3 username to match my tumblr one, because you know... brand recognition and all that. (damn you twitter and your character limit)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

Bookmarks -  what really matters (113) Subscriptions - Wandering Wolf (101) Hits - what really matters (3860) Kudos -   what really matters (503)     (holy shit you guys really love this fic huh)

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

It’s a silly image but I love it, and it illustrates the two things I love the most: cats and books :3 I actually had a friend draw that for me back when I was planning on using it on a bookish blog I had, but I never really used it.

(putting the rest under the cut since there’s a lot of questions)

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I do have regulars that I recognize always popping up on my inbox and I love them dearly ♥ As for favorites, every commenter is a favorite of mine okay, if you leave me a comment you gain a star on my favorites list. But I do have a few of the comments that got to me the most coming up on a post for @ficwritersweek​ next week, so keep an eye out for that!

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I used to have a habit of rereading, but lately I haven’t even had time to keep up with all the fics I’d like to read, so I haven’t reread anything in a looooong time.

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

Subscribed to 16, and 75 bookmarked. I’m actually pretty picky about the fics I subscribe to/bookmark >.<

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Fantasy AUs in general. I have a weakness for those okay, I love worldbuilding.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Subscriptions: 48 Bookmarked: 740

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Nothing I have thought of yet, no haha 10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

writing in general Holy shit what I wouldn’t give to be able to maintain a regular update schedule. Bless all my readers who are reading my WIPs because I know I take a long time to update. (for those reading Wandering Wolf btw fear not, I know it’s been like, 2 months *hides self in embarassment* but I promise the last chapter will be out sooner rather than later).

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

If I consider every fandom I’ve ever written for, popular ships. Back when I started writing for BNHA (which is like half my fics) TodoBaku was a rarepair, but at this point I don’t think it can be considered that anymore, although it’s not popular like others.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

38.

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

I have no idea, since I have stuff across google drive, zen writer, and my computer folder and am too lazy to count them lol

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

When it’s an idea that (I think) is going somewhere, I write them down. They stay in my head for quite a while taking shape before that, though.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

That it’s posted (and finished lol), no.

16. How did you discover AO3?

I think it was probably through tumblr? Believe it or not I had no idea AO3 existed back until I joined anime fandom in 2016. I was away from fandoms in general for many years so I only had knowledge of FF.Net :P

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

For all my previous fandoms, hell no, I don’t think anyone would even know my username xD As for BNHA, if we’re thinking of the fandom as a whole, no. I’d say I’m kinda popular with the TodoBaku fandom, though. 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Not really.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Hmm, if we’re talking about fics especifically, I’d say everyone in the FicWriters Family from the Grimmauld Place HP forum. Those people were my first contact with fanfic (and fandom friendships) and they were absolutely amazing and inspiring ♥

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

First of all: keep writing. Even if at first you don’t get a lot of attention, keep writing, because you can bet someone out there reads your stuff and is happy that you’re posting them. Second, I found that having a group of people you can share your fics with helps - I think a good part of the reason why I even started getting readers for my TodoBaku fics was because I’d share the links in the Discord server for the ship and the people there would read them.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Depends. With one-shots I usually wing it (unless it’s a long one like Silver Lining was). For multichapters, I outline, though most of the time things get out of control and I end up changing things a lot from the original plan :P

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Thank God, no. With the way I doubt my writing even without getting those, I’d probably be crying everytime I tried to write a word for the next months, at least. don’t be like me

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Smut is my doom. I takes me ridiculously long to write and never comes out the way I wish it did xD I also have a hard time writing angst.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

everything we (never) planned (todobaku urban fantasy/fake dating au)

Wandering Wolf (todobaku fantasy au)

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

Depends on what you mean by “plan”. I have tons of ideas, some with vague scenes/outlines planned, but I tend to focus on one story (or chapter) at a time.

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

At this point my goal is just to write every day lol and I’m failing spectacularly at it

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Holy shit, yes. So much. Let’s not even consider the fics I wrote when I was 11 because *cringe* but even if I take the stuff I wrote last year when I started getting back into writing fic I can already see a huge difference. Actually, even if I take my first TodoBaku fics from a few months ago, I feel like my writing now has changed a lot from what it was back then.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Wandering Wolf. Even though it’s not finished yet, I am really attached to this AU and I love writing it. I consider it one of my best fics so far.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

Any of my older cringe-worthy smut fics which I refuse to link for the embarassment lol

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Since I’m a slow af writer who has yet to go back to writing original fiction I’m not gonna say with a novel written, but I hope to at least have started working on one.

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

This is gonna be a conflicting answer, but I’d say worldbuilding. Funny enough, it can also be one of the hardest things, but while it’s a lot of work I tend to have an easiest time slipping worldbuilding into a story than, say, writing dialogue or figuring out plot.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Not letting self-doubt stop you. No, for real, I mean it. Dialogue is hard? Yes. Description is hard? Yes. Action scenes are hard? Yes. But being able to force yourself to keep writing even when you feel like every single word you write is shit and want to compare yourself to everyone else - that’s the most difficult thing I’ve ever had to do, and am constantly fighting to do.

33. Why do you write?

The simplest answer would be, because it’s something I love doing. I love coming up with new worlds, new stories, knowing that I’m sharing something that people are interested in. It goes way beyond that, but suddenly I can’t write well enough to express the feeling (oh, the irony).

I’m going to tag: @chosenofkagami, @cloversdreams, @xenophonspeaks, @ninannarambling and @auriadne. If any of you don’t want to do this feel free to ignore it! :)

[generalfoolish]

sorry this took 3 years to do! I always love being tagged in stuff, but I'm horrible about doing them 😭 @novemberrain221

Name: Tiff (generalfoolish on AO3) Fandoms: Mandalorian, Triple Frontier, The Mentalist, Star Wars, Monsters (?); possible upcoming: X-Files, Prospect, more Star Wars (Obi, I'm looking at you) Where do you post fanfic: Tumblr, mostly. I have a few on AO3, but I don't like the UI as much By kudos, most popular one-shot: Beskar By kudos, most popular multi-chapter: Feel The Heat Personal favorite: My HCs are some of my favorite. There isn't a lot, but I really enjoy doing that kind of writing. Work I was nervous about posting: Everything there is nothing that I'm not nervous about. But anything really explicit is very nerve-wracking for me Method for titling fics: I'm horrible at titles! Most are titled after albums that I like the mood of for the work. Feel The Heat is a song I love, but the parts are titled after songs from a different album. I'm bad at titles. Outline or wing my works: I normally wing it. I try to outline though. I really, really try. Complete works: Do I Ever Wonder? In-progress works: Feel The Heat ; We Go Together (this'll take you to part one) ; MandoMay2021 Series Posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue: So, all of that, and I have some one-shots I may continue with phrased it. I can't abandon my children. It may take me months to drag myself back, but I'll finish it. Looking at you specifically part 7 of we go together Posted WIPs that I have given up on: I love how@novemberrain221 Exchange fics due soon/unrevealed: I do not know what this is! I would be down to try though! WIPs that live in my fanfic folder: Let me check google docs: there are about 4 Ezra WIPS with a little AU sprinkled in there; a few Din WIPS, but my brain is bursting with Obi-Wan stuff rn. I'm rewatching the clone wars, guys. I'm not well. Coming soon/upcoming works: MandoMay is killing me. It's so much, each day, and I feel like I'm swamped with it. So, that's what we'll be putting out for the foreseeable future. There's lots of other stuff in the pipeline though! I want to explore Haunted!Din in this series, that should probably have a name at some point lol Do you accept prompts: Yeah! That would be so cool! I love writing to write. I've always been writing. Give me your amazing ideas so I can do more of that! Upcoming story I’m most excited to write: Obi-wan is all my mind is screaming. I have nothing to add to that. No details. Brain is mush. Obi-wan you're my only hope. AO3 statistics: I have 2 things on AO3, so pls don't judge these low ass numbers lol I know I just need to add my stuff, but also time. Maybe I'll do that soon...

User subscriptions: 1

Kudos: 11

Comment threads: 1

Bookmarks: 4

Subscriptions: 4

Word count: 14, 385

Hits: 269

Fic Meme

Tagged by @findswoman (go check her out!)

Name: K (rktho_writes on AO3)

Fandoms: Star Wars

Where do you post fanfic: AO3 and more recently the Jedi Council Forums.

By kudos, most popular one-shot: A Warrior’s Trappings, 37 kudos!

By kudos, most popular multi-chapter: [sigh] Du Doompa, Act I. It is the better of the two, but… I’m just really disillusioned with this one. I should have had a stronger outline. This fic has a lot of issues and I’ve made a mess trying to tweak it, so I don’t feel great about it. 4 kudos.

Personal favorite: Probably Trappings again. Leatherface I’m still reasonably proud of even though it’s a prequel to Du Doompa.

Work I was nervous about posting: I don’t know if there is one.

Method for titling fics: Varies. I envy those writers who can come up with song lyrics for their titles because that seems to be a trope everyone likes. (I did name my most recent fic after a Mumford & Sons song, but I decided to use the title of the song instead of the lyric I assigned to the working draft (it’s empty in the valley of your heart.) Du Doompa is “The Lowly” in Huttese. Leatherface refers to the protagonist’s skin texture, reflecting her struggle with human-centric beauty standards. Amber and Idiot’s Arrays is basically just the only thing I could come up with that fit. And A Warrior’s Trappings is supposed to reference the fact that both the major characters in the oneshot wear the “trappings” of their respective warrior cultures with pride; it’s also a slight double entendre because one warrior has a trapped bounty on his ship, which in turn has been trapped by the other warrior.

Outline or wing my works: I used to wing it a lot (which is why Du Doompa has so many issues.) Now it varies. For oneshots/short stories I generally have a mental idea of how the plot is going to go and fill in from there. For longfics, I am never not outlining again. (BTW, if anybody wants to help me outline the Tarre Vizsla fic I’ve been meaning to write, I would greatly appreciate it.)

Complete works: Everything except Du Doompa (RIP) and my current fic, The Cave.

In-progress works: The Cave.

Posted WIPs that I have active plans to continue: The Cave.

Posted WIPs that I have given up on: Du Doompa.

Exchange fics due soon/unrevealed: I don’t do exchanges. Might be fun to try sometime.

WIPs that live in my fanfic folder: That Tarre Vizsla fic I’m still figuring out. It’s basically an AU where he joined the Jedi Order as an adult. (It would be canon compliant if it weren’t for the DVD commentary… Eh, whatever.)

Coming soon/upcoming works: Hopefully that Tarre Vizsla fic at some point… But I’m also thinking of revisiting a set of OCs I created for Du Doompa because I know they would appeal to a particular mutual of mine…

Do you accept prompts: Not currently, no.

Upcoming story I’m most excited to write: That Tarre Vizsla fic. Really want to get that going. It’s so frustrating to be stuck on it even though the wheels are turning.

AO3 statistics: Íb-ku huul, do I have to? Alright…

User subscriptions: 2

Kudos: 65

Comment threads: 17

Bookmarks: 11

Subscriptions: 0

Word count: 87,591

Hits: 686

Tagging @lilhawkeye3 @cacodaemonia @royalhandmaidens @duelofthefatesmp3 and anyone else who wants to