#this is of course supposing that magus is the main adam

[en-djinn]

Been seeing a lot of royalty au peter and Adam, but i kind of want to see magus in that setting too...maybe dancing with prince peter? Don't feel pressured though, and if the prompt doesn't interest you then no worries :] have a nice evening!!

this kind of au doesnt normally interest me in a big way bt i immediately thought of evil advisor (who came from a cursed amulet/soul stone) magus and its making me laugh. gay little freak who tells you to convert ur whole kingdom to its religious cult

[wormholxtreme]

@soullesstrouble said sometimes absence is more powerful than presence. // idk just have some things from this evil thot

Sometimes Kaylee found it hard to track Magus’s train of thought. He seemed to tell her those sweet whispers she’d come to enjoy so much about Adam, but there was something more lurking underneath. The way he looked at her. The way his fingertips brushed against her skin. He set a fire inside of her. Her brain knew better but her heart would lurch into her stomach at just a glance. And the way he looked at her. That all encompassing passion and desire. It tugged at her heart strings. She loved Adam but Kaylee also knew that she settled for Adam. She was always going to be tortured by love in the end and at least with Adam there was a sense of security despite the fact there was always going to be an expiration date. She settled for a quiet love that would die out like a soft candle finally coming to the end of its wick. It was better than a love so powerful it went off like an atomic bomb when it finally blew up in her face.

But here was Magus, promising her the best of both worlds. She could be his forever. She could give everything to him and in return receive everything from him. She’d be lying if she said the idea didn’t float in her head unexpectedly. And his first gift lay sprawled out on the floor of his spaceship. The mousy brown hair of a man Kaylee once loved. So strange to think how much Ezekiel Stane had control over her once upon a time. When all he was, was a catalyst. A match that lit a fuse. Sure he was dangerous, but his games were child’s play. Still, without him, Kaylee never would have acted out of revenge. Her soul never would have fractured like it did. She never would have become Pestilence. She never would have met the Titan. Sophie’s soul would have never been lost. Her son would never have been born. And she would have continued to live her life probably just as fully as now with her soul intact.

Sapphire eyes found Magus’s. Kaylee watched him as he studied her expression. Was this supposed to be a gift? He was right though. Ridding the universe of Stane would only serve to make it a better place. She wondered if he was planning on hunting down all of her ex lovers. If this was just the appetizer there was no question who the main course was.

Much like every other moment Kaylee was presented with when it came to Magus, this situation cut her down the middle. Her heart fighting against her head. She wanted Zeke dead. More than dead. She wanted him to fracture and break the same way he broke her. She wanted him to suffer. She wanted him to know pain above anything else. That’s why all those years ago she had settled on ripping his limbs from his body. She should have ripped his tongue out too. But revenge rarely got anyone anywhere but more heartache.

“Hey there sweetheart.” Zeke’s familiar voice rang out. Bound and on his knees as he was, he still was a snake. Dangerous and taunting her. 

Kaylee swiftly backhanded him, sending him clattering to the ground. His legs grew back but she wasn’t opposed to ripping them off again. That dark purple hue clouded her eyes until they shone like two stars bright, hot, unrelenting. She pulled him up off the ground by gripping his chin and stared into his eyes, knowing the white hot pupils of hers would blind him until his healing factor kicked in. “The only reason you’re still alive is because I’m showing restraint. You speak to me again and I’ll rip your tongue out of your head and feed it to you.”

She stepped back, moving to face Magus as he watched her. Her body was vibrating. A faint glow engulfed her as she pulled in the ambient energy around her. The beautiful yellow sundress she was wearing disappeared, replaced with the red and black vision of her Warbird suit. There was so much anger building up in her core that she balled her fists up sending the access energy down and through the gauntlets, letting them pulse to dissipate to new energy she pulled in. Things were different post Pestilence. Kaylee didn’t have much of a limit anymore when it came to what she could absorb. The Extremis virus that pulsed through her veins was fully unlocked and would be able to keep up with her absorption. Her Titan powers would expel like hellfire. She was truly something to behold these days. The perfect soldier Lady Death wanted her to be. Is this what Magus wanted too?

Was he daring her to break the mold? Was he pushing all her buttons to sculpt her into his perfect evil empress? It would be just her luck, and her naivety. She thought she had learned her lesson, twice now she had let herself be fooled by two egomanics hell bent on genocide. Third time’s the charm it would seem.

Her eyes narrowed on Magus dangerously. He should know more than anyone not to play with her like this. But he would know more than any just exactly what it took to play her. Here she was once again, stuck between what her heart wanted and what her logical brain dictated.

“What’s the endgame here Magus? Is this what you wanted? Me fully exalted at your side?” she was teetering on the edge, Zeke muttering nonsense behind her. She raised the gauntlet, sending a stream of white hot light pummeling into him, her eyes never leaving Magus’s. 

Zeke’s body lay on the ground in a heap, smoke rising from the wounds she inflicted. She would not waste her breath on him again but she would shut him up every chance she got. “I don’t want to be another man’s plaything. I’ve been that enough. If you truly love me as you say, you’ll get this man out of my sight, put back into his cell, and you’ll stop trying to push me into the direction you want.”

[nocturnical]

I’ve been busting my ass trying to coordinate/edit the Sage at Twilight season finale & since it’s the last episode I’m doing until November (I need to focus on helping get the main podcast back on regular release) & everything has been super piecemeal since I decided to do a segment with each host & have to line up w their individual schedules.

I’m supposed to record with Allie & Gabe today & I was a little hungover, so I went for a run & came back delirious & wrote the following intro synopses from my notes:

Ep 34, The After Hours (w/ Gabe)

The After Hours arguably picks up where the first episode of the season, Where is Everybody, left off. The story unfolds around Miss Marsha White, who appears to be a perfectly normal woman but happens to be an amnesiac mannequin who has lived too long among people & has simply forgotten she was actually a copy of a person rather than a person. 

White shows up at her department store of origin tasked with buying a single 24 karat gold thimble for her mother only to be ushered into a series of interactions absolutely drenched in stranger danger until an overworked store clerk mistakenly leaves her on the ol’ fainting couch after the store closes. 

Confronted by the eerie floating voices of her plaster peers, Marsha eventually wakes to the reality that she is indeed a dummy & gets back to the hard work of vacant staring so the next mannequin in the rotation can spend some well-deserved time shopping for expensive-ass thimbles & slowly forgetting she’s a mannequin.

The episode is one part Are you Being Served?, one part platonic theory of forms, and all kinds of uncomfortable — from the weird elevator stranger taking her to a dark, non-existent, empty sales floor, to the vague aesthetic humanity of the mannequins, to a closing narration with a hazy undertone of xenophobia. It was nope from beginning to end, 25 minutes of utter discomfort, but it wasn’t a bad episode so...

Ep 36, A World of His Own (w/ Allie)

So, in the final episode of the season, A World of His Own, we meet Mr. Gregory West a playwright slash magus who has created a ritualistic method of creating & dispersing his characters as thoughtforms. 

The episode opens with a conversation between West & a woman named Mary that is the audio equivalent of mainlining saccharine. The scene is thankfully short, interrupted by West’s wife, Victoria, peering in the window & doing the jealous wife thing. When Victoria comes into the office she is thoroughly unpleasant, knocking on walls & shitting on the other woman as common & unattractive all while placing very little on the balding, middle-aged fuckboi she has supposedly made vows with. 

When West explains his method & even manifests & disperses his Mary, Victoria remains adamant that he’s full of shit. She assumes he is trying to have her committed. So she perhaps rightfully feels like she should get one up on him & throw his ass in the asylum first — which let’s be honest that only happens one way in the literary world, google T.S. Eliot & F. Scott Fitzgerald. 

But West isn’t playing, no matter how you shuffle, this blotchy-faced old fuck is going to pull the magician card out of the deck. 

So he manifests a quote-unquote red eyed elephant to scare her. & ultimately reveals that she is also a thoughtform, which she doesn’t believe & of course she wouldn’t, he’d know that since he fucking created her. & she throws her film on the fire & disappears. 

In the end he goes to manifest her again but thinks better of it & now it’s Mrs. Mary West, submissive, unassuming, gentle, understanding. Gag me with a fucking spoon — everyone sucks here.

I just hope I can wrap this season up somewhat gracefully & get back to being second, third or fourth fiddle on the main episodes because I am an anxious idiot & I procrastinate & overthink & fuck up & having the main material depend on my ability to coordinate, edit, & write most of the material has made the endeavor feel rather shaky.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers Annual #7 + Marvel Two-In-One Annual #2

December, 1977

A joyous various winter type time period for you and yours!

Due to these issues issues coincidentally falling in December and also wanting to get back to the main book as soon as possible, I’m doubling up issues in this post. It’s a Yule-esque miracle, perhaps.

I wanted to get this out last Friday but I couldn’t make it in time before I had to visit my family for pre-Christmas.

Anyway, lets get into it.

The Avengers and Captain Marvel and some jerk named Adam Warlock team up to fight Thanos.

We’ve seen this before but the Avengers got kicked off the field so Drax and Captain Marvel got to hog all the Thanos to themselves. Maybe they’ll get their asses beat by him personally this time.

Dangit, maybe I should have saved this for when Infinity War came out? Eh. I can always cover Infinity Gauntlet. Its Avengers-adjacent.

Without further ado, let us commence without stealing someone’s catchphrase.

We start with Adam Warlock being moody and in space, the two prime facets of his character.

In brief, Adam Warlock was created by evil scientists to be the Perfect Man. He was then beaten near death by Thor and went back to his cocoon. Later, the High Evolutionary named him Warlock, gave him the Soul Gem, and sent him to Counter-Earth to become its champion where he gained the name Adam. Then he became involved in a predestination paradox with his evil future self the Magus and had to murder himself in the future to prevent his evil future self from existing. Thanos helped with this for his own nefarious purposes.

Warlock has been tracking Thanos, following the trail of destruction as it were. But he finds Gamora, Thanos’ most faithful servant.

Gamora is a lot different than in the movies. For one thing, she’s dying.

She discovered his secret plan of Stellar Genocide to wipe out all life and so he left her for dead.

Gamora: “He’s quite mad, you know.”

She says, master of understatement.

Gamora also reveals that the only person Thanos fears is... ADAM WARLOCK.

Warlock swears he’ll hunt down Thanos. But he won’t do it alone. bwoop. His forehead jewel eats Gamora’s soul. As it do.

He also scream exposits at no-one that he thought Thanos was a friend but Chaos and Order whispered to him while he slept that Thanos was a betrayer and also that Warlock is the Champion of Life, the natural foe to Thanos, Champion of Death.

Usually its worrying when voices tell you not to trust your friends but Warlock is kind of intense so I won’t tell him if you won’t.

Shouting into the void done, Warlock heads off to Earth. Which is a good segue for the Avengers portion of this Avengers Annual.

It is a dark and stormy night. Iron Man is brooding by the window. Scarlet Witch is trying to get Vision to go talk to him. And Beast has revised his policy on kissing and telling with Cap apparently into it.

Scarlet Witch finally convinces Vision to talk to Iron Man by basically saying they’re the same kind of stubborn stoic jerk who hides their emotions and Vision is like fine geez good logic.

Iron Man doesn’t really have an answer to give though. He just has a foreboding feeling.

Iron Man: “It’s just that ever since I arrived here tonight, I’ve had this unexplainable feeling of danger -- of forces at play about me. I don’t want to be here but I can’t bring myself to leave!”

Captain Marvel: “That’s because you are meant to be here this night, just as we are.”

CAPTAIN MARVEL (not those ones) AND MOONDRAGON!

Coming in through the window. And dripping on the carpet. Because fuck politeness, amirite?

It took all of my willpower to not edit this panel to have Tony say “Iron nipples... rigid! They sense danger!”

Because why would you choose that panel and pose to detail his chest dials?

I wonder how awkward it is for Iron Man and Moondragon to be in the same room. He was kind of an ass to her the majority of the short time she was on the team. And then she sabotaged his new roster by quitting and then convincing Thor and Hellcat to also quit.

Maybe that’s why it seems like they’re glaring at each other. Or perhaps Tony is just mad she’s taller than him.

Anyway, weird feelings are going around because Captain Marvel and Moondragon were also drawn to the mansion with a premonition that their powers would be needed.

This same premonition must have also drawn part-time Avenger Thor here.

‘No, I just wanted to hear stories about Beast’s love life. Now was this hair curling an euphemism or did grooming serve as foreplay in this encounter?’ Thor might have said.

Okay. Maybe I’m curious. Don’t judge me.

Anyway, the Avengers and guests ponder what kind of horror might be approaching that would need such an assemblage to stop.

A few hundred light-years away, a Playstation rendered TIE Fighter shoots a beam at a star and then the star kerplooies.

And a few hundred light-years back, Moondragon feels millions of voices cry out in terror and then were suddenly silenced.

I’m not being flippant. She basically Obi-wans.

Beast is being flippant. Doing card tricks and laughing off the idea of psychic screams and talking winds. This from the guy who was on a team with Professor X and Jean Grey. Won’t be laughing once Jean pulls the same shit on a different star, I tell you that.

He also won’t be laughing right now because Adam Warlock appears out of nowhere just to sass Beast.

I truly believe Adam Warlock’s true superpower is drama. He’s even got his own weird speech bubble quirk.

Anyway, he’s another person for this assemblage. But he also brings word of their common foe: THANOS.

Apparently it was supposed to be sort of a surprise? They haven’t said his name until now but if you’ve read any of the stuff Adam Warlock appeared in you’d recognize that Gamora worked for Thanos and the distinctive shape of Thanos’ ship, which is not actually a poorly rendered TIE Fighter. Its actually much bigger.

If you haven’t read any of the previous Adam Warlock stuff well then sucks to be you. He’s barely introduced here in this Avengers book.

But Thanos? Thanos gets a whole page of recap and introduction. By Adam Warlock. His best frenemy.

What’s weird is that apparently everyone is making faces like ‘yeah we know all this already’ and Warlock sees those faces but just keeps plunging on anyway.

So yeah we get through the stuff where he turned into a giant wireframe head in space and Captain Marvel chopped a Cosmic Cube to bits.

Now apparently Thanos is one of those villains who doesn’t think they could possibly lose but sets up some contingencies just in case. See also: Ultron.

Being ungodded left Thanos floating helplessly in space. And apparently he can breath in space. But then his not TIE-ship retrieved him and he began scheming anew.

But here’s the problem (from Thanos’ perspective): Death abandoned him for his failure. So he decided he needed a grand romantic gesture to win her back. Aka: where most of Thanos’ horrible atrocities start.

And on a scroll from a dead world, he found his answer. And the answer is what his answer always is. Gathering the six shiny things.

Yup.

This is the first time Thanos gathers the Soul Gems. Later to be called Infinity Gems once Thanos in a later story realizes he kind of underestimated them.

Actually the Infinity Gems got a bit of play before they were revealed to be Collect Them All Become God powerful. The Elders once tried to use them to kill Galactus because they were mad he was older than they were.

We get a brief montage of Thanos retrieving all the Gems. Stealing one from the Stranger, liberating another from a prison satellite, finding one in a cave, getting one as an epic drop from killing a monster named Xiambor, and finding one on the Moon because of course there’s one on the Moon.

The final one he was afraid to make a grab for because it was Adam Warlock’s Soul Gem and could steal Souls.

Instead, Thanos pretended to be his friend, worked together with him to defeat Warlock’s evil future self Magus because comics, and secretly siphoned off some energy from Warlock’s forehead bling without Warlock even knowing.

And then he transferred those energies and the energies of the other five Gems into a giant synthetic Gem. A truly, truly outrageous plan.

Truly a better telling of how he collected six things then the full miniseries that preceded Infinity Gauntlet and was just Thanos being smarter, stronger and more handsome than anyone else ever. I heard Thanos was shredded. I heard he had an eight pack. Etc.

When Gamora discovered that he planned on blowing up every star, she tried to backstab him but she was no match alas.

So most of this exposition Warlock learned by eating her soul with his forehead.

Meanwhile, hundreds of light years away, Pip the Troll arrives at Thanos’ Sanctuary ship to pay the “old gang” a visit. Nobody seems to be home so Pip loudly talks to himself, objectifying Gamora and insulting Thanos and basically digging himself into a hole.

I mean, in fairness, Thanos would have killed him either way. Now that he doesn’t need to pretend to be nice to Warlock, there’s no need to be civil to Pip either.

Lets just assume that something bad happens off-screen. Because we are changing scenes again.

So we have Thanos a) doing something crazy as a grand romantic gesture for Death and b) gathering several powerful gems. What’s next on our Thanos bingo game?

Invading Earth with a giant space armada? -checks- Yup.

And its such a giant space armada its twice the size of the giant Skrull armada from the Kree-Skrull War. These imaginary numbers are way bigger than those imaginary numbers!

(How does Thanos keep getting people to sign up with him if he inevitably leads them to their deaths and then laughs at them??)

The Avengers prepare to go fight an entire space armada by themselves again (seriously, start building space defenses, the Earth). And Adam Warlock just skips out without so much as a goodbye.

As the heroes prepare to go into battle we get some good character beats from each of them. And they each kind of lead into each other. Its good stuff.

Moondragon ponders how Thanos always shatters any peace she finds. Later on down the line, he even interrupts a date with her girlfriend. Thanos is the worst. Anyway, he also killed her family and caused her to be adopted by Mentor of Titan so really he’s always been screwing up her life.

Iron Man grapples with fear. He’s going to fight Thanos for a fourth time and wonders if he should have his head examined. Each time he’s fought Thanos he barely survived. And the last time the Avengers fought Thanos, they were only able to thwart his schemes. They didn’t even fight the man. Are the Avengers just heading for an unmarked grave among the stars?

(Maybe I should have saved this for Infinity War, geez)

Captain Marvel ponders how little they truly know about Thanos. And also he hugged Death and still lives. Whats the deal with that?

Thor is just thinking ‘man its about time I get to deck this Thanos fellow in the face.’

Vision wondering if decking Thanos will even win the day. Thanos is in effect a mutant demi-god. Because apparently the Titans of Titan are an evolved offshoot of the gods of Olympus. Which I guess makes Hercules and Thanos related? And also, wuh?

Captain America wishes they had more information about Thanos’ firepower and plans. But also suspects that Warlock knew more than he let on. Which will continue to be Cap’s frustration every time he ever works with Adam Warlock, who tends to use the superheroes of Marvel as disposable pawns in his inscrutable chess games.

Beast wonders who Adam Warlock even is. He was skeptical about this whole thing until he looked in Warlock’s eyes, the eyes of someone who has seen life, death, and infinity.

Scarlet Witch though is thinking that Adam Warlock is totally evil and that he and his Soul Gem could one day prove to be their foe.

And hey. She isn’t even wrong. Because Adam Warlock’s Evil side the Magus tries to take over the universe. And his ostensible Good side? She tries to KILL EVERYONE.

I sometimes think Adam Warlock only ever falls mostly on the side of good because of spite against people that side with evil.

And then the time for pondering ends. GIANT SPACE FLEET.

God. What a spread.

The Avengers really should start evolving their strategies against massive space invasions because the plan is still to send Thor and Iron Man out the airlock to dogfight spaceships individually while the Avengers’ shuttlecraft makes a run for Thanos’s H-shaped flagship.

A massive laser cannon aimed at space would be really helpful right now but some jerk time traveler never lets us have one.

Oh. And this is kind of a suicide mission. In that the Avengers looked at the odds and thought welp we’re boned. And decided to snatch victory from the jaws of numerical disadvantage anyway even in dying.

Wait, where the shit is Wonder Man? He usually has something to say about the Avengers grimly and dutifully marching off to their deaths. Usually of the ‘I wish that were me I me I don’t want to die but I do kind of want to retain dignity while I rush into death anyway.’

Anyway. Thor starts breaking space stuff FOR MIDGARD! FOR ASGARD! FOR LIFE! while Iron Man... has to be more indirect. Since repulsors are laser punches, he uses them to redirect the enemy’s ionic rays back into their allies.

Although if you think about it, hitting a spaceship going as fast as it is with a punch laser would probably punch a hole in the hull. No sense putting an extra step into it.

And technically with no sound in space, this would be more accurate:

Just Thor loudly screaming nothing as aliens asphyxiate.

Anyway.

With exactly two people running distraction (even though Captain Marvel can also fly through space I guess they need to keep some muscle to fight Thanos), the Avengers reach Sanctuary II.

Creating a kind of seal with the bomb bay doors somehow, Captain Marvel blasts a hole in the hull.

Beast: “I imagine a small army of aliens is waiting below to massacre us.”

Captain America: “So what are we waiting for, Avengers? LET’S GO!”

Nice.

Just wading hip deep into an army of alien malcontents. Now that’s cosmic.

If Avengers: Infinity War doesn’t have Vision fist a crocodile man, then the Marvel Cinematic Universe has failed.

Anyway, the Avengers do their Avenger things. Beast acrobats around and makes the wise-cracks.

Vision just stands still and lets someone shoot through him. As I get further and further into this liveblog I realize more and more how much Vision can just passively win battles and realize where Wonder Man got the idea from during his pacifism phase.

Scarlet Witch does a probability hex at a pig/bug/devil alien wearing no pants but wearing boots and a belt and bling to make his gun hand explode.

Moondragon smugly asserts that she needs no help. And she also reaches an armament control panel so she can turn the Sanctuary II’s guns against the rest of the fleet.

Also, there’s a giant cyborg space ape named QU’LAR THE MASSIVE.

He lasts for exactly two panels before Captain Marvel tells him to sit on it and possibly ruptures every one of Qu’lar’s organs.

Related to this, it strikes Captain Marvel that things have been a bit too... easy. It was too easy to get through the Sanctuary II’s hull. Too easy to reach it in the first place. And too easy to beat up Thanos’ forces.

If Thanos wanted to stop them, wouldn’t he be throwing worse at them?

He barges into the ship’s central section expecting the other shoe to drop.

Oh hey. Its empty. Well, except for Adam Warlock and Pip the Troll.

Adam Warlock: “His name was Pip, and he was my friend. Perhaps my only friend. He was joy and light to my darkness and damnation. He was unique among the heavens... and Thanos destroyed his mind and left him for me to find. First Gamora, now Pip. All about me those I love are falling. This cannot be allowed to go on. Nor, by my Gem, shall it!”

And Adam Warlock om nom noms Pip the Troll’s soul.

Alas, Pip. You were. Someone who existed. And who I have no strong feelings about at all. I guess Warlock’s Good side trying to kill everyone makes more sense if Pip was his idea of joy and light.

Anyway, by eating Pip’s soul, Warlock now knows what Thanos is really up to. Because Thanos did the villain thing and monologued his plans before destroying Pip’s brains. And Warlock absorbed that knowledge when he ate his soul.

So why did Thanos brag about his plans and then leave Pip’s husk for Warlock to find and learn from? Shrug. Thanos planting the seeds to his own destruction is ridiculously common even at this point. Its why he becomes a farmer later. He got so much experience with planting.

Anyway, Thanos is in an exact replica of his ship (Sanctuary III?) on the other side of the sun. The flagship and the fleet and all was just a distraction.

Of course, the fleet lured the Avengers out here in the first place. If he had just snuck up on the sun and destroyed it, he might have gotten away with it. More seed planting, perhaps.

But even as Warlock and Marvel approach the apparent real Sanctuary II, it fires its Starkiller at the Sun and starts suncrushing it.

The Sun goes red and purple and begins to flare. Eight minutes later, some astronomers are really going to freak.

But not if Captain Marvel has anything to say about it! He full-speed rams into the ion-laser projector that Thanos’ big synthetic Soul Gem was housed on.

I mean, maybe aim for the big gem next time, Marv?

Because Thanos is like oh darn I guess I’ll just replace the projector and get back to murdering stars?

Then Adam Warlock finally catches up and proclaims that he’s going to kill Thanos.

He gets one punch in before Thanos counterattacks and mortally wounds Warlock.

And since he’s dying anyway, Thanos asks if he’ll rely a message to Death.

Thanos: “Tell her I follow shortly behind you, bringing an offering of undreamed of magnitude... the stars!”

-Warlock plops to the ground, probably not going to deliver that message at all-

Thanos actually seems kind of disappointed on how smoothly this is going. He expected the Champion of Life to be more of a challenge.

THEN THOR AND IRON MAN BURST IN

Because its just one thing after another with heroes.

While Thor and Thanos exchange fisticuffs and... hammercuffs? Iron Man decides to attack the big shiny thing. Because he for one knows you attack the weak point for massive damage.

With the giant synthetic Soul Gem decided, Thanos’ plans and his chance to regain his love’s favor have been thwarted.

He teleports away, vowing that they’ve earned his enmity and will have few remaining minutes of life.

But I’m sure that everything is fine and will continue to be fine forever.

So now what?

Captain Marvel wakes up, probably with a horrible headache, after his face first tour of Thanos’ projector. And he sees Warlock talking to Warlock?

Whaaaaaaaaaat?

Okay, so context. In the Adam Warlock comic, Adam Warlock traveled into the future to absorb his own soul to keep his future self from becoming his evil future self the Magus.

In-universe, this only happened months ago. And also right now.

But the months have felt like an eternity to Adam Warlock as everything he has ever loved or accomplished has fallen to ruin or died. His whole life has been a failure and he welcomes its end.

So Adam Warlock om nom noms his own soul.

And goes back to his present to live out the events that will lead him to getting his soul eaten by himself.

All the while having the soul of Adam Warlock inside and outside the soul gem.

COSMIC!

Having watched this all, Captain Marvel is mostly confused. As is anyone else who didn’t read the Adam Warlock series.

Even with Thanos’ plan to kersplode the sun thwarted, his forces still prove a threat so Thor, Marvel, and Iron Man decide to head back over to the fake Sanctuary II to help the other Avengers.

What to do with Adam Warlock’s body? Eh. Leave it. He’s at peace now. And he’ll peacefully rot in space. Probably like he always dreamed.

Or maybe give him a proper burial?

Throughout Marvel’s conversation with the two Avengers, a green-hued Warlock has been coming to terms with life after death.

Being absorbed into the Soul Gem means being reunited with everyone it has eaten. Gamora. Pip. Some other people probably from Adam Warlock’s own mag. And the realm within the Soul Gem is a land of peace where all can live as one and share a collective memory and heart.

A land where hearts are an open book, where understanding is bred, and the ego is muted. In the Soul Gem there can only be love.

Not bad for a piece of jewelry normally portrayed as evil and voracious.

So a happy ending for Adam Warlock. And a happy ending for the Sun. And a happy ending for the Avengers who decided that they’re not doing any corpse disposal. Happy ending for everyone except Thanos whose grand romantic gesture was thwarted and the idiots he always manages to inspire to follow him who are getting their teeth punched in by the Avengers.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE

December, 1977

I’m not ashamed to say that one of my favorite comic book tropes is when someone hits someone with someone. But only if they’re using said person as a bludgeon. Throwing the person is the coward’s way out.

So last time: Just scroll up. Thanos was going to blow up the Sun but Iron Man blew up his bling and Adam Warlock achieved his fondest desire and died.

This time: Peter Parker’s plot senses are tingling.

He senses... that a crossover needs him.

His plot sense also recap the events of the Avengers Annual issue and-

is that an upside down cyclops? What the heck!

Uh, anyway. Yeah. Just a recap of the Avengers Annual. Which is mighty obliging. A less scrupulous writer would have dropped a brief text recap and made you buy the issue to find out what happened.

Anyway, Peter’s dream goes beyond just the events of Avengers Annual #7. He starts dreaming of THINGS NOT ON PANEL. Except now they’re on panel because he’s dreaming of them.

Also, I lied. Its not Peter’s plot sense that's tingling. Moondragon just beamed a recap into his dreams.

After Avengers Annual #7, Thanos teleported back over to the other Sanctuary II where the Avengers were still fighting his diverse crowd of alien jerks (why do villains always believe in diversity more than the heroes do?).

With some actual leadership, they go from being an ineffectual mob mostly existing to make the Avengers look cool to a fighting machine.

In five panels, the fight turns against the Avengers and they all lie defeated.

Well, except for the away team of Captain Marvel, Thor, and Iron Man.

They take an additional page to defeat.

Thanos goes right from organizing his mob in their defeat of the Avengers to an armament control console with no time for gloating in between (which you know is very hard for Thanos) and blasts Thor, Captain Marvel, and Iron Man while they’re flying back towards the fake Sanctuary II.

I was going to joke that its because this isn’t an Avengers book that the Avengers can be totally stomped in two pages. But that’s just their life, isn’t it? Even in their own book they aren’t free of getting taken out humiliatingly easy, are they?

Thanos then had all the unconscious heroes put in stasis beams. Y’know that thing where the heroes are all lined up in a row but unable to move but there aren’t any obvious restraints? Well this time it works by keeping the heroes a micro-second out of sync with reality.

Without the giant synthetic Soul Gem, Thanos can’t blow up every star. But with the Soul Gem on the dead deceased corpse of Adam Warlock, maybe he can still blow up a star. And conveniently, he happens to be near a pretty one called Sol.

Maybe just blowing up the one star in Marvel that matters will be enough to appease death.

And then Peter wakes up, the recap portion of this recap over.

He only wonders why Moondragon chose him to send this message to. He’s a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man not a powerhouse or cosmic dude.

And we cut to Master Order and Lord Chaos basically being to blame. Their game against Death goes poorly and they’re forced to put their reserves in play.

I.e. Spider-Man and Ben Grimm, the Thing.

Because Spider-Man realizes ‘hey wait I can’t webswing into space, I need to borrow a spaceship’

And he knows just who to borrow one from.

Cue a funny moment where Spider-Man startles the Thing while he’s engrossed in reading Salem’s Lot causing him to accidentally inhale his cigar.

Oh what shenanigans you get up to, Peter.

But he gets the Thing to stop complaining about Spider-Man disrespecting the security system by shouting at him to STFU. Ben realizes that maybe Spider-Man has troubles.

So he pours Peter some coffee and listens to his story. And immediately asks what Peter has been smoking. Old tennis shoes maybe?

Which is. Ben knows that real drugs exist, right?

But since Peter is serious about it Ben figures what the heck. There’s an experimental spaceship he was supposed to test-pilot when he got the chance and now’s as good a time as any.

Spider-Peter doesn’t really have... exact directions but the spaceship’s tracking systems will track down Thanos’ ship if its up there.

Spider-Man: “If? Still have your doubts, then?”

The Thing: “About your story? Perish forbid such a thought. How could anyone doubt the word of a man in blue and red leotards who crawls on walls?”

Police, I’d like to report a murder.

But despite Ben’s skepticism, they find Thanos’ giant H on the very next page.

The Thing: “Appears like I was wrong about you this time, Spidey. My apologies.”

Spider-Man: “What do you mean ‘this time’?”

The Fantastispacecraft gets caught in a tractor beam and dragged inside the giant H (for Hate?). Ben kicks the door of his spaceship out so he can immediately go out and start punching some space goons.

Thus making the ship nonviable for a return trip. Good thinking, Ben!

Spider-Man joins in the goon punching, although he admits that monster bashing isn’t his usual comfort zone. But if he fights the small fries which basically look like weird people then he should be good.

He’ll let the Thing fight the giant space serpent.

AND USE THE SPACE SNAKE TO HIT PEOPLE WITH. That’s what I’m talking about, Ben!

Meanwhile, Thanos watches this on a monitor. He must be wondering how many heroes he aggroed today. They just keep showing up.

So he has the gravity turned off in the chamber Spider-Man and Thing are in. That’ll show them.

And Thanos’ men, who I guess trained for just this sort of contingency, waste no time blasting Spider-Man and the Thing while they’re discombobulated.

Its a bit of a shame. I wanted to see if Spider-Man would try to use his webs. A much later comic than this made the point that without gravity, Spider-Man’s webbing would splurt out instead of thwip out in nice lines. I wanted to see if that would be used here, decades before the first time I saw it.

Meanwhile, Master Order and Lord Chaos continue to commentate on the crossover. Another round goes to Death with Spider-Man and the Thing temporarily out of play. Still, they both expected this.

Summoning Spider-Man and the Thing was a ploy to get Adam Warlock back on the field from the emerald hill zone.

Meanwhile, in the land of emerald skies (they look purple actually) and green hills, Adam Warlock exposits about recent events.

Yup. He sure died. And now he lives in the Soul Gem, a paradisaical world where he can forget about his worries and his strife. All within the Soul Gem are one and live in harmony for harming another would be harming oneself. Yup, afterlife in the Soul Gem is good and will remain good forever.

Elsewhere and while, Spider-Man and the Thing wake up at the foot of the hero display case and/or stasis beam.

Thanos didn’t get the chance to gloat earlier so he’s seizing the opportunity now.

His henchaliens are preparing stasis beams for Thing and Spider-Man but in the meanwhile, look at how awesome Thanos is. He collected the Avengers better than the Collector ever did. Suck it, old man.

Spider-Man decides to hear Thanos out, hoping that encouraging Thanos to ramble will give them time to plan. And Thanos knows he’s being played but what the hell, he loves to hear himself talk.

So he explains to the heroes that he’s having another stellar projector prepared which will use the Soul Gem’s power to cause the Sun to go nova (but not that one. Or that one. Marvel has a lot of Novas).

And then he explains that he’s doing this as a grand romantic gesture for Death. Recaps how he fell out of her favor by fucking up his plan to become god with the cosmic cube. But anyway, yeah, thats why the Sun and countless lives on Earth must die. So Death will be really impressed with him.

Ben Grimm doesn’t find that a good motivation so he punches Thanos in the dick.

Thanos just no-sells it and purple energy blasts the Thing unconscious.

Annnnnd Spider-Man realizes he’s out of his league so when Thanos asks him if he wants a turn, he just webswings away.

Thanos: “WHAT?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?”

Spider-Man: “Leaving! This is the Avengers’ hassle.”

For some reason, Thanos takes exception to this and orders his alien mooks to bring back Spider-Man’s head.

Except now what? He doesn’t know how to fly spaceships so he can’t just steal the Thing’s ride (also its no longer air tight). He can’t stay here, he’ll just get killed. But he can’t go back to Earth because if Thanos blows up the Sun, Earth will get a whole lot less hospitable.

So if he’s dead either way, he might as well stay. And if he’s staying, he might as well do something. But he can’t fight Thanos directly. He’d sweep the floor with Spider-Man and probably any hero Spidey knows.

Except.... maybe Thor?

Okay, good plan. Good plan. Free Thor. Save the world. Have everything be good forever. Spidey is glad he talked himself out of that blind panic spiral.

Meanwhile, another Master Order and Lord Chaos intermission. They sure are glad that Spider-Man didn’t let his self-preservation overrule his strong heart.

So Spider-Man loops back around to where Thanos showed him his Avengers collection. And darn, Thanos is still there. And also he changed his mind. He’s not adding Spider-Man to his collection now. So there.

Spider-Man decides the thing to do is smash the stasis beam projector WITH HIS BODY.

So the Avengers wake up and immediately charge Thanos. While Spider-Man limply hangs half out of the machinery. Oh, and the Thing woke up by this point too.

That’s some quality Assembling! Good job, Spider-Man. Probably fracturing half of your bones was worth it.

Thanos summons his army of mooks and we get down to a real rumble.

Weird that apparently Adam Warlock will be needed to resolve this scenario. Thing and Thor seem to be thumping Thanos pretty effectively while the rest of the heroes keep the small fry off their backs.

And the other heroes are playing it very strategically. Captain Marvel is keeping an eye on the overall crowd composition so that one of the heroes can go and bust up any attempt to build up or consolidate a position.

Yeah, I’d say this is in the bag.

But just as Thor and Thing are still kicking Thanos’ ass and looking good doing it, Thanos eye beams Thing unconscious and puts Thor on the ropes.

Dangit.

Spider-Man regains consciousness, still stuck hip deep in some defunct machinery and realizes that he must Do Something. In fact, he feels as if everything depends on the decision he makes next.

In happy paradise green land, Adam Warlock is struck with a terrible migraine and realizes that the plot needs him for one last hurrah.

Spider-Man’s spider-sense spider-leads him to notice Adam Warlock’s Soul Gem, encased in a glass globe.

So obviously he should break that, right?

Yeah.

And with the Soul Gem freed from containment, Adam Warlock manifests as a naked fire man and proclaims himself the Ultimate Avenger.

(Was Adam Warlock ever in the Ultimate Universe? I can only think if he was, his re-imagining would have been endlessly disappointing.)

And Ultimate Avenger Adam Warlock (with kung fu action grip) could not rest while Thanos remains a threat to the universe.

And Ultimate Avenger Adam Warlock is so very, very tired and wants to rest. So Thanos will have to go.

So Ultimate Avenger Adam Warlock takes Thanos for granite because that’s just something Ultimate Avenger Adam Warlock can do.

Fuck you, I don’t have to explain anything. Its cosmic.

Which leaves just the cleanup.

Thanos’ army immediately surrenders.

Which is a good decision for them because they’re probably going to get released with no punishment aside from the hits they’ve already taken.

Spidey objects but Captain Marvel asks what he would suggest doing with them? Put them in Earth jail? That’s ridiculous, Spider-Man. You ludicrous radioactive Spider-Man.

I guess.......... space jail isn’t an option for some reason? They’re kind of accessories to the destruction of a star and conspiracy to commit another star murder.

When Jean Grey and/or the Phoenix did that it was a whole to-do but I guess its just okay this time because it didn’t personally inconvenience the Shi’ar?

Maybe Captain Marvel is just lazy and doesn’t want to do the considerable amount of paperwork it would take to arrest an army.

No Sam Vimes this Mar-Vell.

Perhaps realizing they were dicks before, the Avengers decide to actually have a funeral for Adam Warlock. They bury him on some random space rock.

And they leave his Soul Gem right on his grave for anyone to steal. WHICH HAPPENS AND CAUSES INFINITY GAUNTLET.

Geez, the Avengers. Geez.

Also according to his tombstone, Adam Warlock was only ten years old. He was a melancholic child.

Later, aboard the fake Sanctuary II which was apparently Sanctuary III all along and maybe you could have mentioned that earlier and prevented a lot of name confusion for me, personally.

Spider-Man mourns the loss of Adam Warlock. He didn’t know him that well but the universe feels much emptier without him.

And the Thing suggests they check to see if Sanctuary III had a coffee pot anywhere. SPACE COFFEE (do not drink in space).

And within the Soul Gem, Adam Warlock resigns himself to living in paradise free of any strife, problems or pain. Or darn. Well he’ll manage.

And the Thanos statue cries because Death doesn’t love him. And also petrification is often portrayed as a living death so he doesn’t even get to be with his crush.

Phew.

Two annuals back to back was a bad idea. And almost nobody is even going to read this today because I have almost nobody that even reads these on a non-holiday day and today is Christmas so people are probably going to be with families and singing to the Christmas raptor.

Well. Here it is anyway. The last stand of Adam Warlock.

And that’s the major thing to bring up.

This is Avengers Annual and Marvel Two-in-One Annual. A book about the Avengers and a book about the Thing and his amazing friends. But the story that spans these two issues is about Adam Warlock. The others are just along for the ride.

The giant cosmic space heads even say as much. Spider-Man is only here to get the real star of the show on stage. The Thing is only here because this is his team-up book (and because Spidey needs transportation).

Its kind of a tendency of Adam Warlock to make any story about him. Both in and out of universe. He’s kind of self-absorbed.

Whether you like these stories probably comes down to whether you like Adam Warlock. Because on this day the Avengers, Spider-Man, and the Thing took the backseat to the space messiah who hated to wear pants.

Other than that? Pretty good.

A good Thanos plan. An intentional downgrade from his plan to become god in terms of ambition. But possibly even worse because he planned to blow up every star just to get Death sempai-dono to notice him.

This is the end for Thanos for a while. He’s still a stone statue during the Death of Captain Marvel in 1982. Thanos doesn’t stop being stoned until 1990.

People that didn’t read Adam Warlock’s book probably don’t really get why Thanos was most scared of this golden brooder but I think turning into a naked fire man and turning Thanos to stone is context enough.

So happy and merry whatever. Next time I get back to the main book but we’re still going to have the Avengers storming a giant thing in space.

During this time in their lives, the Avengers just storm giant space things more often than typical.