#this is of course a non exaustive list

[dokoni-mo]

Warm Water || William Afton x GN! Reader

summary: you find yourself exausted, but he knows just what to do.

mostly SFW // Fluff

word count : 3773

warnings: age-gap relationship (reader is 20, Will is almost 40), dom/sub undertones, secret relationship, will is obsessive but not as much in this one, fluff, kisses, non-sexual nudity, cuddling, Willy has scars, pet names, exhaustion, hickeys, swearing, Will likes being called sir i just know it, cuddling, non-sexual intimacy, not very proofread, also just laregly a lot of rambling adfjafk idk im so tired, very very slight sexual themes so minors dni

a/n: i'm tagging my normal people for Crave (aka the peepaw chronicles) for this because it does take place in the same universe, but i'll leave it up to interpretation on whether or not you deem it cannon to the story (so im sorry if you didn't want to be tagged!!),, this is probably the most-self indulgent thing i've ever written so please bear with me,, i'm just very tired from school LMAOO and wanted to write smth more fluffy with willy and his lil bun

~~~

William Afton fucking hated baths. He hated a lot of things, but baths were probably towards the top of the list.

Even thinking about them made his skin crawl. Just the thought of sitting there, in your own dirt and grime? In a stuffy, humid room next to where the toilet is? Disgusting. He didn't consider himself to be a germaphobe, no. That wasn't it at all. He worked with children on a Monday-through-Friday basis. He wasn't scared of germs or getting sick. He'd built up quite the immune system over the years of working at the diner.

He just found the notion of sitting there like a big, sweaty dumpling inside of a soup comprised of water and your own dirt, sweat, and germs revolting.

But you liked them. You liked them a lot.

It was one of the few things William didn't quite understand about you. How could you like something so gross? You had explained your reasoning to him before when he had first found out. Something about how the warmth all around you was comforting, as well as the various different soaps and scents you could use to spruce it up. But, try as you might to explain it, he still didn't understand. Couldn't a shower do the same thing? Without you having to sit in your own filth?

Whatever. He wasn't going to argue with you about it. His bunny enjoyed many strange things, but he wasn't going to take any enjoyment away from them just because he didn't understand. He loved you. He'd never do such a thing.

As out-of-character as it was for him, he found himself buying more bath-related things to secretly store away in his bathroom. For when you came over, of course. You seemed to appreciate it when he gave the array of soaps and other liquids to you, giving him a nice kiss on the cheek. As much as he didn't understand your reasoning, your little smile was all he cared about at the end of the day. He could tolerate your conflicting views. That's what love is all about, isn't it?

William didn't share too many disagreements with you. Not as much as he initially expected when he first made you his. You were soulmates, after all. It's only natural you share similar perspectives.

It was both a blessing and a curse, however. As much as William liked how similar you were, there was a few things he wished he kept for himself and himself only. Such as the work-ethic the two of you shared.

The older man was somewhat of a workaholic. While he reserved the weekends for you and only you, he was much different during the week. He would spend extra hours at the diner frequently. And, when he wasn't at his restaurant, he was tinkering away at some side-project down in his cellar. It wasn't very healthy, but it's how he liked to do things. Gave him character, but also made his hair turn grey.

You liked his grey hairs, though. And he was still handsome with it.

But, his bunny was the same way. You being in college, you had a lot of work to do. Sometimes so much that you'd have to bring your assignments over to his house on the weekends and do them there, even though the two of you agreed long ago that the weekends were couple time. You were a driven little thing. William could see it when he got to watch you work, in the pain in your lower back and shoulders, and in the dark circles under your precious eyes when you fell asleep next to him.

Poor bunny. He didn't want you to work so hard. It hurt his heart seeing you so stressed all the time. Your schooling is important, yes, but you mustn't be so hard on yourself. You're a clever little rabbit. You don't need to devote so much of your time on work, surely not.

Besides, sometimes, William couldn't help but feel a little jealous when all your attention was on your books and papers rather than him.

This was one of those times.

With the turn of the seasons, your professors had also swamped you with several different tests and assignments to turn in sooner rather than later. You never really liked to complain about it to William, he found, but he could tell that the pressure was weighing on you. This had been the third weekend in a row that you had brought your coursework over to his house, your nose buried in the pages; your eyes on the words rather than him.

William kept you company while you worked to have himself nearby, but he couldn't help but be a little peeved. The weekends were sir and bunny's time. Not boring old college.

The brit was watching your back as you scribbled away in your notebook, sitting on the floor in front of him with his coffee table used as your make-shift desk. You had been at it since the moment you finished the breakfast he made you this morning, and now the Utah sun was just starting to creep below the horizon. Worry was in the older man's grey eyes. When was the last time he saw you stand up? Or even scurry yourself to the bathroom? Or get a drink of water? He couldn't remember. And that wasn't good.

He was a patient man, yes, and did value a college education. But William was tired of waiting for you. He barely gets to see his adorable bunny during the week. He'd rather spend this time with you curled up in his bed, closer to him on his lap, or just talking to you. But you hadn't said a word in hours. Even though you were right in front of him, he missed his bunny. And the amount you were working was getting a little ridiculous for his tastes.

"Love?" He asked you through the silence, gently reaching out a hand and rubbing circles into your back, "Are you almost done? It's getting late, little one."

He watched as you looked over your shoulder towards him, but not enough to have your full attention. You seemed just a tad annoyed with him, but he understood. When you were concentrated, you didn't much like him disturbing you.

But he didn't much like not having you in his arms right now.

"Umm..." you breathed, "I dunno, Will. I have, like... two chapters left? To take notes on? So just a little longer, okay?"

The older man felt his jaw clench, "You said that three hours ago, bunny."

"I know, I just... I need to get this done before the deadline. I'm sorry."

"And when exactly is all this due then, hm?"

"Uh... friday?"

"It's Saturday, love."

"I know, I know, just... Just gimme one more hour. Then I promise I'll be done."

William let out a sigh. You had said that three hours ago, too.

The brit watched as you went back to scribbling away in your notebook, finding himself more annoyed. Not at you, of course, but by the situation. You didn't need to work this hard, no. You were William's bunny, after all. You shouldn't ever need to lift a finger around him. But, you were a workaholic just like he was. You liked doing things yourself

He loved and hated you for it.

His fingertips still on your back, William felt his other hand reach up to smooth your hair away from your face. Even though he didn't get a direct shot of you, he could tell that you were tired. He could see the dark circles under your eyes from his spot on the couch, and the slight redness that had crept into them. Hell, your back must be aching too from sitting on the ground for so long. And didn't your pretty little head hurt? Surely it did.

Sweet bunny. You needed a break. You needed to be done for the day. Plain and simple.

Reaching forward, William pressed a few soft, warm kisses to the side of your cheek and hair as he took your pencil away from you, laying it on the table. When you turned around at him to protest, he seized the opportunity to capture your lips into his, lingering on your sweet taste for perhaps longer than he should have. He pulled back and brought his hands close, cradling your jaw a few inches away from his face.

"I think you've done far enough for today, little one." He said to you, using his thumbs to caress your cheeks, "Wouldn't you agree?"

He could feel your cheeks heat slightly under his touch, "Will, if I finish today, I'll have time to visit your office during the week. So I really need to finish."

William let out a chuckle. He always did like having you in his office. It was cute you were thinking of him.

"But you're here now, my love." He said, "And I want you now."

"I... I want you too, but-"

William shushed you before you could continue, leaning in and giving you another sweet, long kiss.

The brit pulled away, looking into your tired eyes again, "You work far too hard, bunny. You'll burn yourself out. And I want my little rabbit to be happy, yeah?"

You nodded in response.

"Of course I do. And I'd hope you'd want the same for yourself, yes?"

You nodded again, "Yes... sir."

William's soft smile widened as he let out a pleased hum, "Good bunny. Now, why don't we relax a bit, hm? You've definitely earned it, my darling."

He watched as your cheeks heated up some more, your eyes flickering downward, "I... I think I'm gonna be too tired to-"

The brit chuckled, "No, love, no. I'm not talking about that. I was thinking of something a little different for tonight."

"Like what?"

"You still like baths, right bunny?"

"Yeah? Why?"

William couldn't believe he was saying this. But, he knew it'd have to be something special to get you away from your work. Luckily, he knew just what to do. Even if it wrecked his pride just a hair.

"Would you care to join me for one?"

You furrowed your brow in confusion at his words, but a soft smile still remained out of amusement.

"Join you? For a bath?" You asked.

"Yes, love."

You let out a little laugh, "Will, you hate baths. You've made that really clear over these last few months."

William let out a hum, brushing some more hair away from your face, "Yes, I do. But I love you far more than I hate them. And I know they're always relaxing for you, love. And I want to help you do just that. You're tired, bunny. I can see it."

He leaned in and gave you a quick kiss on the forehead.

"Just let me take care of you." He continued, "Like I promised I would. Can you do that for me, love?"

The older man saw how your smile widened at his words, "Fine, fine. Just promise me you're not gonna complain the whole time."

"Of course not, bunny. Now, come here. Let me pick you up, yeah?"

William took you wrapping your arms around his neck as you accepting his invitation. Leaning down a little more, he scooped you up into his arms and held you close, pressing a kiss to your blushy cheek a you giggled as his strength. Your legs wrapped around his waist, he carried you all the way from his living room into his master-bathroom, placing you down so you could sit on the lidded-toilet.

Rolling up his dress-shirt sleeves, William opened up the cabinet under his sink and looked at the vast array of bath materials he had collected for you. He pulled out each one and laid them on the ground, making sure the labels were pointed towards you so that you could read them.

Once all of the products were out, the brit closed the cabinet and took a knee in front of you for you to discuss with him which ones you wanted to use.

"Do you even know what these things are?" You asked, picking up a clear bottle to read it more closely.

"If I'm being honest, love," he said, "I have no idea. The woman at the shop helped me pick a lot of them out."

You giggled again, "Well, this here is a bubble-bath. You put it in the water while it's running and it makes a lot of bubbles. And that baggie is bath salts. It just makes the bath, like... mineral-y."

The older man quirked a brow, "Mineral-y?"

"It's hard to describe! It's just good for your skin."

"I see." William reached down and picked up a pinkish jar, "What about this? It doesn't look like you've used it that much."

"Oh, those are petal-soaps. They look like flower petals but they're actually soap. They dissolve in the water after a while. They make the water smell like roses too! I was saving them for a special occasion."

"Well, is this a special enough occasion?"

"Getting the Mr. Afton into a bath? Hell yeah it is."

William chuckled, "You flatter me, bunny."

You smiled back at him, "The petals and the bubble-bath will be nice. That's what I wanna use."

"If you say so, love."

With your final approval on the products being used, William shifted himself over to his large, porcelain-white bath, reaching in and stopping the drain before turning the hot-water valve on. The sound of the water hitting the dry tub filled the air, the pipes creaking just a tad at the rare usage. While the water poured down, the brit used the opportunity to pour in some of the bubble bath liquid. William then let the water run for a few minutes more, leaving his fingertips under the water until it warmed up.

"Is this too hot for you, bunny?" He asked. You reached forward past the older man to feel the water.

"Nah, it's good. I like it to be real warm."

"Perfect. Wait here then."

Shaking the water off his hand, William stood up from his kneeling position over to one of the longer, taller cabinets nearby. Reaching inside, he pulled out a few of his favorite soft, lush purplish-grey towels, walking back over and handing one to you.

"Here, love." He said, "So you don't freeze to death before the bath fills up."

You took the towel with a soft thank you as you stood up from your seat on the toilet. You turned away from the brit as you pulled your shirt off over your head, his eyes fixated on your bare back as he unbuttoned his dress shirt. As you slipped off your pants and underwear, William could see the ghosts of former hickeys he had given you past weekends on your shoulders and thighs. You were a good bunny and didn't try and cover them up with any makeup or anything, just like he wanted. The more recent ones were fading, though.

He'd have to fix that soon.

He continued to watch as you kicked all your clothes into a pile by the foot of the bath and wrapped the towel around you. Your nude body no longer available for him to see, he went back to removing his own clothes.

Once they were all off, and neatly folded on the edge of his sink, William wrapped his towel around his lower half and stepped closer to you. You were watching the water fill up and he snaked his long, scarred arms around your middle, pulling you close to his chest. He could feel how you smiled as he pressed his kisses into your hair.

"I love you, bunny." He mumbled against you, feeling your little hands glide over the scars on his forearms as you leaned back against him.

"I love you too, Will." you responded.

He continued his assault of kisses onto your cheek and jaw, "Are you feeling any better, my love?"

"Definitely. I didn't even realize how tired I was."

William let out a hum as his kisses found your neck, "You have been working for almost 12 full hours, bunny."

"Oh my god, really?"

"Mhm."

You let out a groan, "Oh my god, that's so embarrassing. I'm sorry, Will. I didn't even realize. You must've been so bored."

"Don't apologize, little one. I know how much your Uni means to you."

"Yeah, but still... I feel bad. I don't want you to be bored. And we only get to see each other on weekends. It doesn't help I already pissed half of it away."

"It's not your job to entertain me, love. You know just having you here is enough."

"But I don't wanna be just enough. I wanna be like... better. Because you do so much for me. I... I feel like I don't try hard enough sometimes. And I'm sorry."

William let out a sympathetic hum and he lifted your chin up to him, giving your lips a sweet, reassuring peck.

"Everything about you is perfect, bunny. I wouldn't change one thing about you. You try more than you realize."

"How?"

"Well, you did say you were working so late because you wanted to see me in my office, yeah?"

"Yeah..."

"And why is that?"

"Because I know you like it when I do."

William gave you another kiss, "See?"

You smiled at your own silliness, standing on your tip-toes to kiss him one last time, "Fine, fine. You win."

William smiled to match your own, "You worry too much, bunny. I understand what's going on in that pretty head of yours. I love you, and nothing's going to ever change that."

"What if I was ugly?"

"You're not ugly, love."

"But what if I was?"

"I'd still love you."

"What if, like, I only spoke in rhymes or something?"

"It'd be... odd, but I'd still love you."

You giggled, "What if I burned down the diner?"

"Well... you know, I never really liked it much. You'd honestly be doing me a favor, love. So I'd probably love you even more."

"Should I go do it then?"

"Maybe later, bunny. Looks like our bath is full."

Giving you one last kiss on your cheek, William padded over to the running faucet and turned off the valve. In his peripheral, he saw you grab the can of the fake petals and open it up, grabbing a fistful and throwing the small soaps on top of the bubbles. The reddish-pink hue contrasted greatly over the white bubbles and water, making the bath look rather pretty. William was impressed.

William allowed himself to step into the bath first, unwrapping his lower half, folding and placing the towel on the ground nearby. The bubbles dispersing around him, William made sure that water was still a good temperature for you before he sat down in the bath. Once situated, he held out his hand for you.

Placing your soft, small palm in his, you let your towel drop to the floor as you got in the bath yourself. Using his hand as a balance, you sunk your legs in beneath the bubbles as you sat down in the water as well. William spread his bare legs apart beneath the water to make room for you, holding onto your waist and guiding you to lean back against him. You followed his silent order, your bare back against his scarred chest as you rested your head on his strong shoulder. The man pressed a few kisses to your hair as he wrapped his arms around you beneath the water. You relaxed against him easily, and your eyes fluttered shut at the warm feeling around you.

"Is it too hot, bunny?" He asked you, already knowing what you would say, but still wanting to make sure.

"It's perfect, Will." You mumbled, "Thank you."

The brit felt himself smile, "There's no need to thank me, little one. I'm just happy I got you to myself now."

You breathed out a laugh, "Didn't like third-wheeling my textbook, hm?"

"Not at all." He pressed another kiss to your cheek, "You're mine. I should never be the third wheel."

"I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to."

"I know. It's alright. Just relax, bunny."

Leaning down to press more kisses into the back of your neck, William lifted up his wet hands out of the water, making a splash echo through the bathroom. Steadily, he grabbed onto your shoulders and rubbed firm, massaging circles into your back with his thumbs and the heels of his palms. You shut your eyes tighter at the feeling, a few low groans escaping the back of your throat.

"Feel good?" He asked. All you could do was nod as he chuckled, "Good. I'm glad. Your muscles are quite firm, love. You shouldn't be sitting on the floor like that for so long."

"If I got on the couch," you said, "I knew you wouldn't let me get off it again and back to work."

William laughed, "You know me far too well, bunny."

"You're just very predictable sometimes."

"Oh? Am I now?"

You nodded again, "Only sometimes though. Like today when I woke up, I would've never guessed you'd be in here with me right now."

"I can't say I predicted that either, love."

You breathed out a laugh, "If you don't like it, you don't have to stay, Will."

"No, no." William pressed more kisses to the back of your neck, rubbing deeply into your more firm muscles, "I actually think it's rather nice in here."

"Really? Or are you just trying to not make me feel bad?"

"I mean it, love. It's nice. But, perhaps I'm biased. How could I not enjoy being so close to my precious rabbit, hm?"

Your smile grew as you leaned back against his chest again, making his arms return to their home around your waist. You had scooted down so that your head rested more so on his collarbone, allowing you to look up at him more clearly, and him at you.

"Along with predictable," you said, "You're also really cheesy sometimes."

"Oh, you love it though, don't you bunny?"

"I do." You leaned up and gave the brit a kiss on the jaw, "And I love you too. Thank you for everything tonight, Will. I really appreciate it."

The older man felt his heart swell in his chest as he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

"Anytime, my love. Anytime."

~~~

tags: @guinea-pig16 @the-official-memester @randomwriteralan @mrsrogerwaters @laylaaftonshit @cherry-slushee @insert-memical-username @mrssafton @horrorking2000 @artist-anon08 @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @jamiethenerdymonster @kimyona-san @purplewolfcoffee @violetlmfaoo

apologies to any blogs tumblr wont let me tag!! as well as anyone who didn't want to be tagged (pls let me know if you don't want to be tagged in all Willy works :)) )

[ofcacthuxandkylosaur]

Are there any trans Kylo fics out there? I feel as if it's all only trans hux this or feminized hux that...

I think there is indeed more trans Hux than trans Kylo out there, but I still managed to find some. Beware that I haven’t read most of the fics and therefore cannot say anything about their content. I also recommend of course you read the autor’s warnings;)

Trans Kylo Art

https://croatomunchi.tumblr.com/post/142969291522/would-u-ever-draw-like-hux-and-trans-kylo - croatomunchi

http://artllama.tumblr.com/post/146236116396/i-did-a-transition-log-because-i-cant-not-spend - artllama

http://toiek.tumblr.com/post/141289851114/i-love-trans-kylo - toiek

http://rip-space-birdie.tumblr.com/post/141067487245/kylo-ren-is-trans-pass-it-on - rip-space-birdie

http://opens-up-4-nobody.tumblr.com/post/153044170134/stutter-iplier - opens-up-4-nobody

http://opens-up-4-nobody.tumblr.com/post/147354462721/nice - opens-up-4-nobody

http://angerydj.tumblr.com/post/169121106275 - angerydj

http://corvosfursona.tumblr.com/post/137737245113/they-fixed-him-up-but-hes-conked-and-phasma - corvosfursona

http://kiiiloren.tumblr.com/post/137138625403/coming-to-u-live-tiny-trans-padawan-ben-solo  - kiiiloren

+ There is also a blog whose name is Trans!Kylo

Trans Kylo headcanons/ideas

http://bygoneboy.tumblr.com/post/148311042452/hi-u-should-talk-abt-ur-trans-kylo-headcanons - bygoneboy

http://nbnightwing.tumblr.com/post/136272896831/anyway-ive-been-thinking-a-lot-about-trans-guy - nbnightwing

http://kremaclassii.tumblr.com/post/137459014170/whispers-more-trans-kylo-head-canons - kremaclassii

http://kiiiloren.tumblr.com/post/138435517778/ive-been-thinking-about-trans-hux-and-kylo + http://kiiiloren.tumblr.com/post/137141605853/since-leia-is-force-sensitive-imagine-her-being - kiiiloren

http://lilstarkiller.tumblr.com/post/141230802426/alright-alright-i-keep-thinking-weve-got-trans - lilstarkiller

http://generallyhorribleatlife.tumblr.com/tagged/trans%21kylo - generallyhorribleatlife

Trans Kylo Fics

“Almond”  - angry_android || Kylo likes to hang out at his local Starbucks and brood. Hux works there part-time while going to community college. Because of someone else’s sloppy handwriting, Hux accidentally calls out Kylo’s name as “Kylie,” and there is fallout. The fallout might include dating.

“pocketknife”  - angry_android || There’s a reason Kylo wears a crop top. Hux understands.

“Casanova, Fuck Me Over”  -  Anonymous || With another kiss, Hux glances up. “You promise try and keep your limbs to yourself?” Ren snorts. “I will try my best,” he says, placing his hands on the sheets, “If you promise to stick your face between my thighs sometime soon.”

“Tarine Tea and Lambro Shark”  -  armitageren || The First Order celebrates a recent victory on a luxurious planet and it’s the perfect setting for Kylo Ren and Armitage Hux’s first date. Hux struggles to survive the date with his anxiety putting him on edge because Ren doesn’t know he’s trans and he isn’t sure what that means for their future.

“all the noises (from your hateful little mouth)”  - bloomthefox || In which Kylo whines and puts off his feelings, Phasma calls it like she sees it, and Hux is a stone cold mystery. Or, the defense attorney AU that literally nobody asked for.

“care and control”  -  cracktheglasses (cormallen) ||  It’s a wide strip of dark brown leather, soft, already a bit worn at the edges, snapped shut over Ben’s wrist. It means Ben wants him. Ben needs him. He may not always be able to say it, but he means it every time he puts the cuff on, every time he puts himself into Hux’s care – I’m yours.

“juxtaposition”  - cracktheglasses (cormallen) || He hopes Hux makes it hurt. Hopes Hux is as mean and arrogant and smart here as he is everywhere else, the way Kylo tries to be.

“Changed” -   Davechicken || Kylo was sure from a young age that he wasn’t female. It’s not until he leaves home that he finds people who agree.

“Pushed”  - Davechicken || Hux has to push his boy a little, to get him through the discomfort. Kylo always appreciates it after.

“Control”  - DoctorNinjaSpy || Patience is Armitage’s most valued virtue. Sometimes, however, he falters.

“special delivery” - gonnapop || Hux had not intended to be present for this messy process. Rather, he’d imagined returning after his shift and being handed a clean, swaddled baby. But there was nothing for it now.He rolled up his sleeves.

“Heel, Beg, Speak”  - JulieCox || Emperor Hux has a new pet, and enjoys pushing him around. Kylo has secrets, and enjoys keeping them to his own damn self. But they won’t stay secrets for long.

“the Panty fic”  -  kyloskummies || Kylo and Hux are roommates. Kylo is trans and wears panties. It’s a hot day and the AC is broken. Y'all know where it goes from there.

“Bad Poet and Good Artist”  -  lovewashisname || Hux has moved schools before. He’s sure this time won’t be any different. He’ll keep to himself, make a few acquaintances, and put up with his father the best he can. But not even an hour into his first day and he’s shattered his phone, walked into a gorgeous boy, and had a very, very awkward conversation with said gorgeous boy. In other words, Hux meets the incredibly sad Ben Solo, and maybe he doesn’t want to leave this school so soon.

“Bad Poetry on Starlit Rooftops”  -  lovewashisname || Everywhere Kylo looks, high school is portrayed as either the best place you’ll ever be, or a shithole that will ruin four years of your life. For Kylo, it’s neither. High school has been a place to hide from his own body, and to get into fights every once in a while. So in one year, none of that will change, he thinks. How wrong could he be? told from Kylo’s point of view

“A Real Boy”  -  MosImagination || Ben solo is a transmale junior, he has a crush on a senior named Hux. Ben is too afraid to show off his real self, but Hux quickly accepts him. And loves him.

“Birth of a dream”  -  MosImagination || Ben solo is a transmale, hux has always wanted a child, Ben gives his body to have their child.

“Expectations”  -  MosImagination || Ben solo didn’t know what to expect coming home on Valentines Day.

“Shark in the Water”  -  SeraphicVictory || Kylo Ren was absolutely the best sailor there ever was. Or that’s what he liked people to believe anyway. In truth, he was no better than any other man at the mercy of the sea. With one fatal mistake, he and his ship were destroyed in a terrible storm, and Kylo was certain he would fall to the watery grave that most sailors met at the end. But then he wakes up to a handsome, red-headed man. His savior: The Mershark called ‘Hux’.

“Someone to come home to”  -  ShinigamiKnox || Hux is the supportive boyfriend and helps Kylo deal with his dysphoria. It was supposed to be a more serious piece of work, but I could not stop laughing at the infamous Ren quote. I’m so sorry.

“A morning at the gym”  -  SidMjkGc || Just another kind of workout.

“This Asshole”  - twinkyatta || Hux goes to a coffee shop every day, but there’s a new barista, and holy fuck does he hate him.

+ Trans Female Kylo fic

“Fate”  -  MosImagination || It was fate that they met. A beautiful transfemale Kylo ren. A handsome transmale Hux.

Trans Kylo series (of fics) 

“The Monsters We Keep”  -  AriMarris || Description: “The Monsters We Keep” is the story of Hux and Kylo, who fall in love and marry young and make many mistakes. Basically, the films rewritten through Kylo’s eyes with drastic changes. With extra one-shots thrown in the mix for fun.

“Bastards and Broken Things”  -  Bipolar_Armitage_Hux, kohoutek || No Description –> Resume of first work: A story of Armitage Hux’s childhood from the Bastards and Broken Things AU / Series.

“Caged by Monsters” (one work for now)  -  Bipolar_Armitage_Hux, kohoutek || No Description –> Resume of first work:  An introduction to the psychiatric ward AU - this is written by an actually neurodivergent person and thus there is a strong attempt to make it not remotely ableist. The “bad guys” in this are the abusive doctors and an ableist system. Hux meets Kylo Ren for the first time, or rather the other sees him in a therapy session with Dr. Brendol Hux and becomes fascinated by him.

“The Tired Raptor”  -  Kylux_TRASH || Description: “Hollywood, 1939. Amidst the glitz and the glitter of a bustling young movie talent at the height of its golden age, the Hollywood Tower Hotel was a star in its own right. A beacon for the show business elite. Now, something is about to happen that will change all that”Something did happen to change that. It happened, on October 31st, 1939, Hollywood California. Kayla-Rose and her male escort, Mr. Hux were riding in the elevator when they entered into a world unknown. They entered The Twilight Zone.

“when the lights are low”  -  transkylo (captainandor) || No Description –> Resume of first work: “Do your colleagues know how fucking possessive you are?” Kylo asks, canting his hips back, pressing into Hux’s touch as far as he can.Hux grins. “Does your mother know that you sleep with her political rivals?” Kylo’s laugh is breathy and uneven. “I don’t make a habit of it.” 

+ Trans Female Kylo series (of fic)

“She’s Just a Girl and She’s on Fire”  -   Kylo Hux (Loki_Likey_Thor_Odinson) || No Description –> Resume of first work: Hux and Phasma have been sent to a fundraiser for The First Order. Their uniforms have been changed for a smart military uniform and a glamorous ball gown. Everyone that should be here is – except for one person.Kylo Ren is absent, still on another planet, having surgery. She was supposed to be here, supposed to be on security detail for the night; Hux lost hope of seeing his girlfriend for the first time in months when he saw two Knights of Ren circling the room.

“from bby Finn to teenage heartthrob + Hux  (one work for now)  -  orphan_account || No Description –> Resume of first work: Mostly, Phasma loves her job. But sometimes, just sometimes, she really hates it. Meanwhile, Hux has a slight problem, and her name is Kylo Ren.

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales Reboot Reviews: The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee!

Fenton faces some of his greatest challenges yet: Gizmoduck’s soaring popularity and the possiblity of amour...  oh and the return of his arch enemy but that’s a standard tuesday for a superhero. It’s a Date, don’t let him trick you noooo, under the cut. 

I have to admit something first: I WAS going to cover the other two fentoncentric episodes before I got to this one, as a build up to this weekends episode. The problem though was I realized that this week’s episode is, via word of god, going to cover WHY Gyro hates Fenton , and thus I really can’t dig into Gyro’s behavior in both eps, especially Who Is Gizmoduck? where despite his rational fears of having funding cut, he’s still an uttershithead to fenton and I feel it’d be better served if I waited a little and did the ep sometime after saturday.  So with that bit of expostion you probably didn’t need out of the way: Dangerous Chemistry! This one is a personal faviorite of mine, to the point that when I was bored a week or two ago I watched this one just for fun, and probably will again. That’s not why i’m reviewing it: even if I hadn’t I would rewatch it and planned to for the ones I was going to review, it’s just dumb luck. And part of that is Fenton is one of my faviortes: Lin Manuel Miranda really brings his a game to the character, and the crew really fleshed him out, making him a really likeable, fun, and relatable awkward dork. Another reason is one that should be obvious if you saw my comics reviews when I in vain tried to review each dawn of x comic on a weekly basis before throwing up my hands at the sheer volume: I fucking love super heroes, and Who is Gizmoduck and this very episode are very good superhero stories that still fit well into the ducktales universe, as is the darkwing debut “The Duck Knight Returns!”. And finally the episode also has Huey in a major role and I love my red boy. So with all that stuff out of the way I can dive into the ep itself.  This one, as you probably know but I do like me my context, takes place in the second half of season. While Fenton did show up earlier for fellow instant classic “The 87 Cent Solution!”, he’s otherwise been absent this season. My honest theroy is, rather than Lin being busy, which while he sure as hell is he still squeezes the show in, it’s more a simple fact that season 2 is pretty damn stuffed: looking back at the episode count almost EVERY ONE ties into one of the major arcs of the season (Della’s journey home/struggle to fit into her kids life/ the moonvasion, glomgold’s bet with scrooge and louie inc), and those that don’t either bring in major new characters like the Cablleros or Drake, or touch on previous arcs: Last Christmas! touching on Dewey missing his mom while she’s still missing. Lena’s episodes bringing her back to the world of the living/introducing her sister, and then resolving her fear of magica for now and revealing where Magica’s been, and this ep checking in on fenton. There was just a LOT to do and get through, and Gandra was really the only time sesntive thing Fenton wise they had to absolutley do this season. So while it sucks, I do understand why they did it this way,  I do see why and hold no ill will over it.  And to the crew’s credit they used the fact Fenton had been absent cleverly and had a valid reason why we hadn’t seen him outside of one breif apperance: he’s busy. Simple as that. He’s been superheroing all this time: when we catch up with him he’s outright called burnt out by a c-list weather villian who looks like dr.doofnschmritz but lacks his awkward charm. He even uses the same pun twice. It’s also logical: his literal JOB is to be a superhero, it’s what he’s paid for, and given Duckberg seems ground zero for lunatics, it’s only natural ther’es a bakers dozens with techno gimmicks and costumes floating around trying to beat him up. He’s naturally exausted and i’ts made worse by two factors: His alter ego being all over the news, so even when h’es off work he can’t escape work, and being unable to do science.  And both are clever delimas: a lot of the usual superhero issues are non existant for fenton: while he’s bad at hiding his identity, the only person he really has to hide from is his mom, who we later learn at the end of the season already knows and has come around to it. His job isn’t in remote jeapordy because Gizmoduck IS the job, while he still has full acess to a lab to do the science work he’s always wanted. But he’s starting to see the price for doing the right thing: He’s spent so much time as Gizmoduck.. Fenton has nothing of his own. No time to do science, only two friends, and as a result is exausted and burnt out and yearning for a break.  So thankfully he’s taking one, and in another use of “time has moved on a bit because we didn’t have time for Fenton this season” he and Huey have gone from superhero and biggest fan to best friends. But I let it slide, partly because again the season is overstuffed dand i’ll likelky delve into that more when I get to this seasons arcs at some point, and mainly beause the two have a great dynamic: Huey is supportive, just wants his friend to be okay, and meshes with fenton perfectly: Their both big nerds who people tend ot ignore who get overly excited about science. But Hueys more openly confident while Fenton clearly lacks it at times. It’s a nice eb and flow I hope to see more of. 

HE and Huey are hanging out to do science and stuff, with webby tagging along because why not, and I absolutly love the gag of gizmoduck passing by, Webby not noticing at all and only finding out Fenton and Gizmoduck are the same person because Huey makes a rather big deal abotu the fact Gizmoduck just passed by and Webby is really smart and likes solving shit.  So we quickly get the rest of our setup: At the elctronics store, Fenton has a meet cute (which the juinor woodchuck guidebook of course has an entry on. ) with Gandra Dee, played by guest acress Jameela Jamil, better known from the good place and being the only one to point out “hey emil hirsch beat the shit out of the woman what the fuck” when quinten Tarantino cast him in the otherwise amazing film “Once Upon a Time In Hollywood”, who does a great job here. The two have some romantic tension as she calls fenton a suit and what not, he fires back he is good at sceincing and they schedule what may or may not be a date... with Fenton unaware that Gandra is a spy hired by mark beaks to get the gizmoduck passowrd and use her nanites merged with gizmotech to boost his strength. As you do.  The resulting episode is really damn good: Starting in the obvious place, Fenton and Gandra have a reall good dynamic: besides the obvious oppsoites attract thing: the modernized nerutoic nerd and the rebllious scientest there’s the nice contrast in who they work for: Sure Fenton works for a billionare who DOES use some of his and gyro’s work for fairly self serving things (and I didn't realize the universal solvant was a rosa thing first time around, I learned it between viewings, but it’s a nice mythology gag), but it’s been shown as far back as the pilot that’s he’s more than willing ot help all of duckberg, even if it makes a profit. WHy WOULD he stop gyro or fenton’s research for any reason? He funnels a ton of money into them simply beause he knows for every dozen failures something useful will come out of it and at most simply wants more treasure hunting gear, stuff both can whip up easily and for Fenton to spend most of his time as defender of the city, something Fenton wanted anyway. He’s a good boss... while the billionares Gandra’s working with, Bradford as we learned later and beaks in this episode.. are self serving scumbags who only want innovation for world domination and personal validation. By refusing to have ties with or trust anybody or put in the legwork to find an employer who would give her mostly freedom, she wants complete freedomf or her work in exchange for taking money from truly awful people. She’s no freer than fenton is and her hypcoricy is obvious, without making the character terrible in any way. As the kingpin once said in spiderman the animated series “the best strings are invisble”. While Gandra is well aware of who she’s working for she refuses to see the irony or the possible harm in her actions , and it’ll be intresting to see where her charcter goes from ehre.  As for Beaks, he’s a FAR better threat here than in the past episodes: I didn’t MIND him being a joke villian, though I was horribly disapointed, and he will likely be super dated eventually... but here it finds a nice ballance: While he’s still a whiny manchild, the breaking into the lab sequence is utterly delightful and shows that he’s NOT harmless. He’s at his best, like glomgold, when he’s either off to the side comedic relief, or a mixture of genuinely threatining and utterly moronic. His drinking 80 pounds of senstive chemicals turns him into the hulk and the resulting fight scnees are great, as is his confusion upon taking huey and webby hostage “I have your kids.. I think.. I don’t know how this family works” and his cries of “whose the looser now coach dad” are both funny and offerd our first peak into why he’s so screwed up. And his defeat while rediculous is clever, using his love of fame and his phone against him. Overall a much better showing than the past that so far has kept up into season 3: even if his plan backfired there and was for goofy reasons, it was here too, it only fell apart because he hired someone who hated him and underestiamated how much he’d pissed off graves last time. 

As for Fenton himself, the episod eis a great showcase, besides the before issues his manuvering around both the obvious date the kids set up for him (more on that in a second), and his genuine chemsitry and contrast with gandra are a delight.. as his his dad’s lesuire suit. On top of that the scenes wher ehe chews gandra out are a great bit of acting from Lin manuel Miranda, the hurt and fury in his voice coming through great.  To finish it out Huey is a delight this episode, showing himself to be a suprisingly good romantic for his age, serously violet won the lottery with this one, and while overenthsastic, i’ts still sweet and his friendship with fenton is genuinely heartwarming, as is what has to be the best line of the episode besides the beaks one above Huey: Fenton’s going to be devistated! Webby: (Annoyed) Or kidnapped by spies! Huey: (Dead serious) TWO BAD THINGS COULD HAPPENS! It’s a sweet dyanmic overall and the cherry on top of an utterly fantastic episode. Hopefully the momentum keeps up going into saturday. Until then, later days. Speaking of which.. WHY ISN’T THE WEEKENDERS ON DISNEY PLUS. God I shouldn’t be able to keep thinking of shows that are missing. Anyways, once again later days.  P.S. I almost forgot Launchpads great bit listing off all his exes and confriming that he’s probably bi. It was great. 

[kulvefaggoth]

HI THIS IS YOUR LOCAL GARBAGE GAY BOY AND HE WANTS TO VENT ABOUT KINGDOM HEARTS

A couple of days ago i had an enligtening talk about my favorite hot garbage series with a mutual and i kind of ended up realizing i had a lot of pent up stuff about it that i never really let out

While i did vent a little already i feel like i need to put this really out of my head because it’s been consuming me in a way. And since this site is designed for just screaming random stuff into the void i wanna take advantage of that for once

Now first and foremost this is meant as a very personal thing. This is not an elaborate critique or a well thought work. This is a vent and i want this to be read as a vent by a gay with a lot of feelings about video games. ESPECIALLY about Kingdom Hearts and some stuff about KH3. 

Now let’s get to the meat of this course of mind screaming

I’ve been into Kingdom Hearts for a very long time. The first game i played was Kingdom Hearts II (the original KH was kinda hard to find here for some reason) circa 2005/2006. Bear in mind i had no idead what KH was. Game advertisement wasn’t (and still kind of isn’t) a big thing here in Brasil specially if you were a poor kid like me. Hell consoles were pretty inacessible to most of the people i was close with and me and other 2 kids must’ve had a PS2 in the same time frame. The main way you would know about new or cool games was through word of mouth or recognizing brands like Castlevania and Mega Man. 

But i was always kind of a freaky little avant-garde child which meant i ended up having a very different taste from most of the people around me. I had like 1 other friend who had actually played a Final Fantasy around let alone something like Shin Megami Tensei for an exemple which i also didn’t even knew was a thing. And i’ve always tried to find something new. Something that gave me some new experience. I’ve ended up playing a lot of more niche games like Drakengard and the Atelier Iris games (god i still love 2 and 3 a lot) and it was this mindset that eventually led me into the game that had a bunch of random anime kids and disney characters in it’s cover.

To say that i was confused by KH2 is an understatement. I knew absolutelly nothing about the previous games. Who is this “Sora”? Who was the red haired man? Why the fuck am i fighting with a giant key? Again what the hell is up with the Disney characters? Also bear in mind i must’ve been 9/10 yo brazillian kid whose entire english vocabulary came from video games and a couple of songs. Some stuff wasn’t even the plot getting dense it was just me not getting the actual language. 

And yet it’s also an understatement to say the i fell very deeply in love with that weird little game. The combat was great. The plot had SO MUCH DRAMA and i knew only about 1/3 of what was happening at any given time. Keyblades where fun and ridiculous. Demyx was a bitch.

As soon as i’ve finished KH2 for the first time i used what little internet i had back then to learn more. I found out there was a game for the easy emulated GBA. It kind of sucked but it was more Kingdom Hearts. Being unable to locate a copy of KH1 for a while i did the only thing i could actually do: i’ve played and replayed KH2 to exaustion. I did most of the stuff except a couple of the minigames and gummy routes because they where boring. The feeling of learning how to fight against Sephiroth, mastering his moves and eventually being able to beat him with a Kingdom Key in proud was a big moment for me. Beating all the Hades cups felt great.

About a year later i was able to get a copy of KH1 and by this time Re:CoM was out so i got that too. Played both of them throughly even thought KH1 clumsy mechanics kick my ass to this day probably.

Then another year passes i hear two new games where coming out... to consoles i didn’t own and honestly i couldn’t justify the cost of to my parents. I was pretty bummed but still i kept getting invested. Hell i was already balls deep into this series and only dreamed of how it would take off in the future. I even remember kind of writing a “script” for a sequel that i tried to make with two other randoms in RPG Maker. Never went anywhere and i know in my heart it sucked but still. That was how into this i was. The prerelease hype for Days was killing me even. Member XIV? How?

Also side note: to my edgy ass 12/13 year old self the idea of playing as Organizattion XIII was literally a dream. 

Days came out and if you where like me in the good old days of youtube videos that had like 5 minutes at max then you know that video game let’s play were almost impossible to do. I had to get a LOT of info from second hand about what actually happened in Days. Then i ended up getting a “decent” pc and was able to emulate it with absolute WORST frame rate. Still it worked and i was able to know what was happening.

But BBS was a completly separate beast. PSP emulation was basically non-existant when it came out so it actually took me a couple of years to actually play it. I had a friend that had a PSP (and that to this day i feel only got a PSP because i kept raving about it having both a KH game and a Final Fantasy fighting game on it because he was 100% that little shit but that is completly besides any point) and of course he couldn’t lend me because it was pretty expensive around here and that’s a very useless tangent.

Anyway time passes as it must and just as Sora fell deeper and deeper into the realms of sleep i too fell into as much Kingdom Hearts stuff as i could. The complex theories, the AMVs (GOD the AMVs), the plot summaries for games i didn’t play, all that good shit. So for years i’ve built within myself this... tension i shall call. The grand plot momentum that mr Nomura seemed to be building. The misterious indentities the hinted at hidden plots. The nature of stuff that seemed very vague and opaque. And as the new games where released it seemed more and more that they where building blocks into the grand prize: Kingdom Hearts 3.

Now here’s the thing. I don’t 100% agree of the narrative that we waited “13 years” for KH3. I think if you where actually a fan of the series back then then each game in it’s own way seemed to be it’s own event. With that i want to say the while we ALL waited for KH3 for me at least it seemed it needed time to build up. 

Now here’s the thing. Between BBS and DDD being both in consoles i didn’t own and me getting an Xbox 360 (PS3 prices where absolutelly INSANE here) i seemed to drift a bit away from KH. While before i waited for new game releases with baited breath i now found myself very blasé about DDD. I was getting used to it i guess. Also high school came and a lot of stuff started changing. KH felt like a bit too connected to my childhood too i guess. I was still a fan and still loved it to death but KH ended fading away a little for me even if it lighted a fire in me when people talked about it. This must’ve been around 2010.

I think it wasn’t until KH3 was formally announced that it all came back to me. The drive to find and consume and engage with as much of KH lore and theories as possible. Also i didn’t really get into “proper social networks” as a whole until 2012/2013. Weirdo i know. By then consuming these thing was a lot easier. Internet was a lot more acessible. I could just open up a tab of a KH wiki in my phone and read away from there.

And there was this rush y’know. This thing of finally seeing a finish line. Not that actually expected or even wish for KH to end but it was KH3! The big one! And remember the tension i’ve mentioned earlier? It was always kind of present and it ended up skyrocketing during this period. I was already knowledgeable about KH but during this time i was almost a goddamn lore master. I knew the whole gig inside and out. Even the weird shit from DDD. The stuff they added to the collections just kept it going too. As did X/UX (which in my grand KH tradition i too didn’t play but i think most people feel me here).

All a big ball of complex yarn and plot and madness that would SURELLY burst with KH3. After all this time all this tension it would come. Release. Answers.

But to me that was the aspect in which KH3 failed.

Now don’t get me wrong i actually like KH3. Quite a lot. And Nomura did apparently tied up a lot of arcs. The lost are found and saved. Piss Grandpa Xehanort is dead.

But it didn’t release my tension. It didn’t burst it into the magic fireworks and ecstasy. The tension is still here. Hell the tension seems even stronger now.

And a lot of it has to with how KH3 seems to still be hiding so many fucking cards from us. Literally in one case. It was a vague feeling of unceartainty before but when i came through the Sleeping Worlds theory it just RUSHED onto me. The story doesn’t feel complete.

Now this is not the same as FFXV. I have a couple of... harsh opinions about it and it’s plot and story are front and center on the list. That story was absolutelly unfinished but not in the same way. To me it feels like Nomura just HID parts of the story. We are not getting the full picture. A lot of shit is really really REALLY weird. I’m still not over Riku’s sudden haircut.

But here’s the real gag to me. Nier: Automata gave me the same feeling the first time i played it. But then i came upon route B. And then Route C. and that’s when the TRUE game showed itself. Nier kept a lot hidden but it was hidden within itself. If you just keep playing you actually can access those hidden parts and eventually you reach your true goal. The actual ending. An ending so final that you might even like giving up your save data to help somebody else achieve it too is the only true option.

Yet KH3 has no such crowning grace. At least not for now. And that’s half the reason i made this. 

KH3 feels incomplete but in a way i could really love if the game eventually completed itself. Reading the Sleeping Worlds theory i was like “omg this makes VERY much sense. but if it makes so much sense why isn’t it in the game?”. And then it clicked. DLC. It’s 100% possible the actual plot may come as DLC. 

But an even darker thought crossed my mind and it’s filing me with actual rage: This is meant to be another game. This is the Powers That Be (Nomura, Disney, Square-Enix, take your pick...) unaturally extending this “Saga” beyond it’s ending point. If it does turn out that KH3 had some dream hijinks going on then it was 100% possible and BETTER to include that in the actual game. But since KH is known for having so many side games what is the harm in doing another right?

Well you harm the integrity of your plot. I know we say the plot is hot garbage but come the fuck on that is what is holding us here. Or at least it���s what is holding me for so long. Setting up another saga is absolutelly fine but breaking away for you ending like this is even worse. How? Why? The why is probably money but still.

Or maybe KH3 is just meant as that. There is no twist not weirdness. Maybe all that is by design y’know. 

This is long enough already. I’m tired. I started writing this at 2:30 am. It’s about 4am now. I slept very little last night.

This is a big colletion of nothing i guess. Not even sure it helped me. Oh well.

[cybernightwanderer]

My brother is a great car salesman, he cashes other ppls money, and his only job is speaking pt 2

But anyways im deviating from what i wanna talk about. So the house is a mess, my mother is kind of a hoarder, and my brother WHO DOES NOTHING, NOT EVEN WASH HIS CLOTHES goes to her and gives her a whole rant on why she should fix the house and how he will pay for everything. Then tries to convince her to get a loan to wich i immediatly cut the conversation and tell her " dont do it " because i already know im the one who is gonna be stuck paying it if all goes wrong and he doesnt chip in like he says so. He gets mad at me during the conversation, speaks over me, and calls me a few names followed by " you really like the sound of your own voice dont you " at this point im like??? That whole hour was him yelling at my mom calling her lazy and dirty because the house is disgusting and it should be fixed right away. And that was the only moment i actually said a word. Oh and a nice detail from her is that " nobody helps her at the house " / " nobody cleans anything " , ok then i guess i should stop doing the cleaning that i already do? since im not doing anything right? Skipping on all the drama ( screaming , same conversation over and over again ). He manages to convince my mother, so she comes to me for advice. And by experience on how many times my brother stole things and money from me, and in 2018/19 when he managed to trick me into helping him and hed pay me 300 euros ( i was unemployed at the time and desperate for money because of my moms threats ), he took advantage of that, i helped him, and when the time came, there was no money, and he even scolded me about even daring to ask. So as you see my brother is a raging scam artist. Now, my mom and me spent the whole week with construction apointments, it was exausting but it was done, she finally has a budget and list of things aproved to go, she gives the paper to my brother and he completly ditches it. Obviously the house fixing and money he said he would put in to fix the house ( wich honestly hes just waiting for my mom to die, and basicly decided to undeniably doi this to claim the house as his own when she dies - wich is irnonic because he lived and does again, never payed for anything or done anything - and i did )

Today i woke up, i decided to focus and do my course work for the day, because im a little behind coz they dont actually teatch shit. I was finally understanding what i was behind on, and as soon as i go to the bathroom she goes " come here, i need you to go and take out the trash, clean the bathroom, clean the kitchen, wash the disshes NOW ", i tell her calmly im just doing something ill do that in a bit" she speaks louder and angrier and says " Not later , go now" , so i completly dropped what i was doing, and just went to do all that " non cleaning " as she likes to label it, took me 2 hours at most, now im sitting here my hands are wrinkly from all the water, my back hurts, i smell like bleech, and im too tired to go back to the work that i was doing... And honestly already mentally drained because she keeps ordering me to do the things my brother refuses to. So i guess im gonna stay behind on the course.

[dxmedstudent]

I genuinely think I've lost myself since I started working as a doctor. What are my hobbies any more? My free time is spent on life admin and just catching up with friends (all important of course) but I genuinely have nothing else. And free time not spent doing the above is spent recovering from a gruelling week just to do it all over again T-T

I get this. I really, really do. You’re not really an adult until you finish an on-call stretch and you’re barely functional, but you really need to clean the flat, and the life admin has built up to dangerous levels, so you summon your inner Adult Strength ™ to do the boring stuff. I hate life admin (and its even more frustrating cousin, Things You Have To Do For Training That Are Boring But Necessary), but it has to get done. There’s a whole layer of hoop jumping and box ticking that I only put up with because I like the patient part of medicine. And forcing yourself to do the paperwork part is not easy.   Even socialising becomes something you have to prompt yourself to do, sometimes. Do I want to reply to 4986 messages after an on-call? Honestly, sometimes I have to reply in waves because nobody has the energy for when your entire friends list seem to have contacted you all at once. Despite that, I’m glad that I have a lot of people who care for me, and that we support each other. And most importantly, that we understand when we each need space. It’s really important to surround yourself with people who get what you are going through, and don’t judge you or play mind games or feel ignored if you are busy or exhausted. Medics are more likely to understand, but that isn’t to say that your non medic friends won’t be reasonable. I’m not going to lie, I too struggle to find the time to do the things I want to do. I do manage to find some time between life admin, studies, work and social life, but it’s a vanishingly small amount of time compared to the things I want to do. So much so, that I find I can rarely focus on more than one or two interests at once. I either have time to draw, or read. I either have time to listen to music or watch a film. I either pick up a new anime/manga or … etc. So I can go ages without doing a particular thing I love doing, because I just don’t have the time to, and end up prioritising something else. Currently, the hobbies out in the cold are reading and knitting. And playing games. And lots of things I’ve probably forgotten right now. I find I have to let my inspiration dictate what I do, more than I used to. Sure, if I have to do something, then I’ll do it. But anything other than absolute necessity? Like hobbies? I really have to want to do it. It’s like I use up all my ‘effort points’ at work, so when it comes to my spare time, I let my inspiration lead. It’s a little sad for me, because when I was in school, I loved Classical Civilisation, and reading, and learning languages, and all sorts of things that I can’t really do or explore right now because there just isn’t enough time in the day or energy in my tank. I just can’t do everything I want to. And that’s hard to admit.  And life is so exhausting much of the time; Some evenings, after a particularly bad day, I literally sit there sometimes feeling like my brain is in a fog, and then try to work out what I can do that evening or that day to be vaguely productive. Maybe it’ll be chatting with a friend, or drawing something, or doing a bit of revision, or something else. But it’s a conscious struggle to avoid just having an early night because I’m that tired. And sometimes all I can do is sit there and pick an ask to answer that isn’t taxing. Until I feel I’ve got enough energy to do something else.  I’ve learned how to differentiate so many different types of fatigue and exhaustrion from experience, and had some pretty interesting conversations with friends with fatigue disorders about it. All I can say is that anyone with a fatigue disorder has my utmost respect, given the monster they are dealing with. Art is almost always something I prioritise, because I love doing my comic, and I don’t really want it to end. But lately I got tired of only drawing chibi doctors and med students for years, and I needed a break, so I focused on our D&D characters for a while.  Because believe me, just about all the time and energy I could muster for drawing was going into the comic. My life became much narrower, and my art became sketchier, more rushed, more exausted and more limited than it  was before. I feel it’s less creative, even. And my skills and creativity have atrophied a little bit. But at least I’m drawing. I’m doing something. And tomorrow, I’ll be doing something else. I’m not giving up, even if medicine dominates my world, I won’t let it completely take over. I still get to do lots of the things I love, even if it isn’t as often as I’d like. And that’s an achievement I can’t put in any CV, and doesn’t sound great in an interview. But it’s a huge achievement for me. And at least you’re still doing something. You’re socialising with friends, and you’re keeping your life on track. Perhaps you can focus on one interest at a time, and try to make a little more time for it each week? And when you feel like a change, you can change to another passion of yours? I find focusing on one thing (whatver I feel inspired to do) helps for me, rather than getting overwhelmed by all the things I want to do and can’t. But it’s  still difficult. Don’t get me wrong, I love medicine, and most of the time when I’m actually out there doctoring, I’m happy. I don’t have a problem with long shifts, or nights, or our silly, silly timetables per se. It’s actually something you get surprisingly used to. When I’m on an on-call stretch, it’s really easy for my life to just become medicine. There are plenty of shifts where I leave work feeling like I’ve done something good. But you’re right that it’s a huge sacrifice, and no matter how much we knew that it would be tough going in, it has all sorts of effects we might not have forseen. I hope everyone out there struggling with combining medicine with having some sembalance of a life and keeing their hobbies going manages to get the balance they want. Fingers crossed for us all.

[pthhpth]

I'd give sources for this except urls don't go through asks but---///some///examples of how she is stiffled is her rights to family planning are non existant, she can expect to be instututionalized, some people won’t entertain stimulating her learning like they would for a normal child because they pre-emptively decided she won’t benifit, she's at higher risk for being a victim of crime and injustice, and //some people// decided her survival is less important. Note: this list is not exaustive.

her rights to family planning are non existant??

she’s severely mentally impaired of course she can’t have children

doesnt anyone have any common sense