#this is objectively not that funny . however I could not stop giggling making this

[nothomegal]

ITS CHRISTMAS EVE (or at least where I live bc timezones) and I would like to gove Pyramid Head smoochies under mistletoe pls 😌

Aww I was having this idea too! And since it's Christmas allow me to bless you with a drawing!...

...And a lilttle one-shot!

"Mistletoe"

(Pyramid Head x GN Reader)

Warning: suggestive implications by the end, but mostly fluff!

Word Count: 1k

Christmas was always a funny holiday for (Y/N). Either because they never truly felt connected to it or because they haven't felt the 'magic of Christmas' since childhood. Don't get me wrong, they would still put some decorations when they could, but ever since they came to Silent Hill such tradition was lost.

Not like they mind it too much though, they already have the absolute best gift and company they could ever ask for! Just tell me, who in their right mind would be upset about having a nearly 8ft tall demi-god creature as your forever partner? You have to be chronically insane to turn down such blessing!

And speaking of the creature, (Y/N)'s daydream was interrupted when a large hand curled around their arm and stopped them. They shoot a curious glance to their lover, who was already looking at whatever got his attention.

Right above them, placed on the old metallic door frame with, what they suppose is duct tape, were hangign a bunch of oddly shaped pieces of paper. Some pieces where green, others painted green, and all of them where kept together with a piece of damaged red cloth that was tied as a bow.

(Y/N) stares at that weird construction with furrowed brows, really trying to grasp what the hell they're looking at. Pyra was still as well, but his head tilted towards his human as he curiously observes their reaction. Seems like they too have no clue what is this-.

However, (Y/N) manages to make out the shape of it and instantly burst out laughing.

—"No way! No way someone actually made one!"— you say between laughs.

The beast simply observes them, letting out a low wondering rumble. Is that another pointless joke humans have? (Y/N) is laughing hard so it must be something very funny or very stupid.

After the laughter had ceased, (Y/N) takes a look at their monster and suddenly remember what he wanted in the first place. Oh, right. They were supposed to explain what is that.

—"Okay, okay."— you say between giggles as you point at the object. —"That thing over there is supposed to be a mistletoe. Remember when I told you about Christmas and how people decorate that one fuzzy tree? Well, this thing is also kinda a Christmas tradition. People hang it somewhere high and when two step or pass underneath it, they have to kiss."—

While (Y/N) explains, Pyra listens to them carefully. But the second they mention the kiss part, the air between them shifts and becomes... Odd. And Pyra himself still, way too still.

(Y/N) of course feels the change, and is quick to start clarifying.

—"But of course, it's optional. It's not like you're forced to kiss anyone. If anything, I never did! So I suppose this will remain as a silly tradition some-"—

Their speech is replaced by a tiny gasp when the monster suddenly grabs their jaw, gently lifting and moving their gaze where he needed. Their eyes narrow slightly when they noticed a tongue peek out from his helmet and slowly, almost shily, wiggle towards their face.

—"Aww. What a polite guy."— you chuckle as a little blush creeps on your cheeks. —"Well of course I'll give you a kiss."—

Ever since they introduced this new method of showing affection, it wasn't rare to witness Pyra ask for a 'kiss' once or twice. It's kinda funny to see how shy he gets, always taking it slow and giving them enough time to stop or pull away. Do they do that? Nuh-uh! Do they think it feels gross? Weird, yes. But (Y/N) is deranged so it's fine.

The pink muscle soon presses against their lips, and they respond by giving it a kiss while holding it in place gently, totally unbothered by its wet and slippery texture. They could feel Pyra practically melt into the gesture, he does it every time. It's small, but is the closest they can get to an actual kiss, and the intimacy and specialness of it seems to get the beast to his very core.

After some second, when (Y/N) attempts to lean back, a pair of big arms gets a hold around them, cementing them in place completely and pulling them closer to the monster. The said beast lets out a low menacing growl as his tongue licks their cheek and part of the jaw. The message was clear...

M̵̞͔̥̏̌̊o̷͕͒̓͑ͅŗ̷̭̝̓̾e̵̠̤͓̅̒̋.

He wanted more.

Despite the apparentaly hostile growls, (Y/N) showed no intimidation and simply chuckled as they roll their eyes.

—"Someone is feeling frisky, huh?"—

Another, and a bit louder, growl resonated from inside the beast's helmet. His grip around them tightening and the tongue sliding along their lips, almost begging for them to kiss it again.

—"Calm down tiger. We both know if we continue you'll get too carried on."— you coo, sliding one of your hands along one side of his helmet.

He groans with certain displeasure, but his grip soon losens as he slightly tilts his head into their touch, yet he doesn't let go neither.

—"If you're really feeling like doing it then let's go somewhere else. You don't want anyone to see me naked, don't you?"—

This time their answer is no longuer a growl or a sound, but the same pair of big hands lighting their form up and swinging over a broad shoulder.

Before starting to walk however, the monster reaches up and snatches the little paper mistletoe. (Y/N) of course notices that and can't hold back the little laugh.

—"Well well, see you really liked this particular tradition."—

They get no response as the monster resumes his walking. But the small squeeze on one of their thighs was enough proof to know that they got it right and it won't be the last time the see the little item.

After this little interaction, and probably after what's about to come, (Y/N) doubts to ever be able to feel that magic of Christmas again.

However, they realize that they still experienced something new. The magic of the mistletoe.

Is that an actual thing? Who knows.

But it worked on Pyra so it must be a thing, right?

It worked well after all.

...Too well.

[noaltbruh]

Hey there!!!!☺️ I saw that you were opened to requests so I wanted to stop by. Could you do a funny/crack hc about how Y/N who shares the same interest as buccigang people, and they geek out on certain subjects that confuse the other members???

I imagine it like how Abbachio loves music, and Fugo loves physics or something specific that the reader also loves it's like a niche thing only the two of them share!

Hope you enjoy writing, have a nice day ‼️❣️

Of course! Have a nice day as well :)

~~~~~

Finding a passion that everyone in the group shared made defeating a stand user seem as easy as breathing. It should be no surprise though, and just taking a look at them would have been enough for one to realize how each person in the gang was vastly different from one another. It was rather shocking that they could even get along, all things considered.

Still, that wasn't the case for one of them, Y/N, who, with the agility of an acrobat, managed to jump from one hobby to the other, which all belonged to a different member of the team.

One morning, you'd see her talking with Fugo in the middle of the living room table, discussing nothing less than...Uh, Maxwell's equations, for some reason?

"I just think that the principles applied to the magnetic field might have been expressed this way instead. See? they would have been far more intuitive"

"That's an interesting take, though I'm not quite sure if the calculus would have been as accurate, Y/N"

Their conversation was interrupted by a hand on the girl's shoulder, accompanied with a smile.

"Y/N, dear! How can you waste time on this nerdy gibberish when we've got something MUCH more serious to think of?"

The blond did not made much of an effort to hide his annoyment.

"Trish, as you probably can see we're a bit occupied. Can't whatever you need wait a little more?"

"Nonsense!" She sentenced, slamming her beauty case above the textbook and opening. She took out two lipsticks, holding them in front of Y/N's face.

"What do you think, deary? Which one should I have for tomorrow's night out?"

"Seriously? This was your big deal?"

His complaint was interrupted by an amused laughter from the one sitting next to him.

"Mhh, well...The one from Dior would probably fit your dress more. Then again, Armani beauty is one of the best brands out there in general, it's going to look amazing on you in any case"

"You're not wrong, mhh..."

But, as the pink haired girl was contemplating her exhaustingly hard decision, Y/N was suddenly swayed away from the two of them, as someone eagerly took her hand and led her to the garden in the back of the house.

"N-Nari?" She said, feeling her head spin incoherently. "What is it?"

"Come on, I've just learned a new dance, I wanna show you!"

With a smile plastered on his face, the boy turned on some music and began to sway her around, making sure to hold her close the entire time.

"You've gotten better at this, I can tell" She observed with a sweet tone. "You follow the beat more naturally and the way you move your feet is much more smoot-"

Her comments were cut short as she instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck, once she felt the other dipping her. They both looked at each other in the eyes and started giggling.

"Maybe I'll learn something classic next time, just for you!"

"I would love that"

As soon as she got back on her feet, however, a more serene voice called for her attention.

"Ah, here you are, Y/N! I was just about to plant some new flowers, would you assist me, if it's not too troublesome for you?"

"Oh! Of course I can"

"But...We were having so much fun" Narancia objected.

"I know" Y/N gave the other a quick peck on his lips, smiling at him. "Why don't you keep practicing in the meantime?" She proposed, following Giorno into a small section of the garden, which he had already prepared with soil.

"How about some camelias? I think they have such a lovely color"

"I agree. Besides, they're perfect to grow in this season"

"I know, right? There's no period better than this for these little guys. Did you know that they were originally-"

"From Asia? Yes, truly peculiar, isn't it?"

They sat together on the ground for quite some time, trying to look for a fun fact the other didn't already know, but their constant attempt at outsmarting soon enough reached a dead end.

"Hey Y/N!"

Mista walked up to her from behind and put his elbow on her head.

"The soccer match is about to start! You don't wanna miss that, do you?"

"What?! Already?" She quickly got up and waved at Giorno with a smile, following the other boy inside in a rush.

"Duh? It's already 4 pm, c'mon!"

Somehow, just the two of them managed to take up the entire couch, sprawling their legs all over it, barely boterhing to take off their shoes.

"You're excited just because Baggio is playing, aren't you?"

"So what? That dude's amazing, he could score even with his legs tied"

"Speaking that way of anyone who isn't Maradona in this town is blasphemy, you know that, right?"

"You're just biased because he's your favorite, y'all always have the lamest taste"

"Heh, you do you"

Screams, cheers and a few (very dramatic) tears accompanied the match, as, much to Mista's delight, his most beloved player managed to score two times through the whole thing. They kept on discussing the teams' lineups, earning some concerned looks from the other people in the house, who thought that nearly throwing hands over small disagreement regarding football players might have not been the most civic of conversation.

Still though, the way they wouldn't shut up made it quite clear that, despite their different opinions, they greatly appreciated having someone they could ramble with about such topic.

"Leave the girl alone, Mista. You're giving everyone in this house a headache"

"What? We're just having fun! Way to kill the atmosphere, Abbacchio"

The man was fast to dismiss him and hand you his spare pair of headphones.

"I've been listening to a new group lately, I thought you might have liked it...Maybe"

"Oh! We could listen to their songs together!"

"I guess"

Accompanied by their other friend, they moved to the kitchen, one of the quietest part of the house in that moment. She could notice Abbacchio glancing in her direction a few times, trying to figure out if she was enjoying herself or not.

After a few songs, she put the earphones down and gathered her thoughts a bit.

"I like them! Maybe I'm wrong, but they sound a bit like the Smiths, what do you think?"

"Mhh, now that you mention it, I can see it. I think the fact that you can hear the bassist so well really adds another layer to the quality of their album"

"Yeah! But what really carries the song is the singer, in my opinion"

"Really?" A chuckle escaped his lips. "Maybe Mista is right, you really are a bit basic"

"Shut up! You're just trying sooo hard to be original" Still though, she couldn't help but laugh back.

"Oh, I'm sorry, am I interrupting you?"

Bruno calmly walked into the room, staring at the two, quite pleasured to see them get along.

"Not really, just listening to some jams"

"Ah, I see! I was just about to ask you two if you wanted to go fishing with me? I've already got everything set up"

"Fishing? Of course I'm in! Give me just a second"

She sprinted out of the kitchen, heading to her room in order to get changed into something more proper for the beach.

"Heh, you should probably do the same, honey"

"You're right...Hopefully you don't mind waiting for us"

"Take your time"

Aside from the huge privilege of being able to live together with all the people she loved, Y/N's house just happened to be a 10 minutes walk away from the sea. Truly, she couldn't have been luckier.

Together with Bruno and Abbacchio, you took your time choosing the best bait lure in your best preys.

"This one's still alive.." You highlighted, a bit disgusted.

"You've got such a strong stomach, but a wiggly worm is what bothers you?"

"You know I hate bugs! But..."

With a swift movement of her hand, the fishing line was thrown into the water. She took a deep breath and crossed her legs to sit more comfortably.

"This feels nice"

"It's a good way to relax, isn't it?"

"Yeah...I wish I was as good as you are, though"

"Oh, you're already improving, Y/N. Even if you don't catch a lot, just watching the waves is still very calming"

"True...But one day, I'll become an expert and we'll eat nothing but fish for a week straight!"

"Ohoh, is that so? Then I suppose there's nothing I can do but to wait for that moment, yes?"

Predictably, once an hour or so had gone by, her bucket was nearly empty, only filled with a few small fishes that didn't even look that appetizing, if edible at all. The girl decided to throw them back into the sea, as they were still alive.

Bruno gently patted her head, grabbing his and Abbacchio's bucket with his free hand.

"You got two more than last time"

"Are you serious? I didn't even notice"

"Of course, I pay a lot of attention to these details"

"Thanks, Bruno...I'm glad you notice my effort"

The busy, colorful day was coming to an end. Y/N figured it would have been a good idea to take a cold shower, to avoid getting the smell of fish on herself. She was already starting to feel sleepy afterwards, showers always had this effect on her.

She sat down to eat with her family, preferring to keep quiet and enjoy her plate, together with the numerous conversations that accompanied it. She happily sighed, looking at the dumbasses that made her hope that the following day would have been just as fun as this was.

[cupidssorbet]

"How embarrassing."

Miguel x Wife!Reader.

Summary: Miguel & Reader happen to be interrupted but that doesn’t mean he’s going to stop.

Includes: AFAB reader but no specified pronouns, Exhibitionism, Wife reader, P in V, Praise.

This was a request so thank you to anon!

Word count: 1201

By Cupid.

Begin

Originally you had gone to drop off some lunch you made for Miguel, just a sweet gesture you want to do. You thought with him working so hard he deserved a little treat however you two didn’t seem to have the same little treat in mind..

That’s how you found yourself bent over his rather tall desk with him behind you, admiring and teasing you slick cunt with a little smirk on his face as you pleaded with him, “Miguel..Miguel Please.” You gasped out as he ran a finger through your folds before positioning himself behind you, his tip just barely inside you as he pushed in slowly but surely, a satisfied sigh coming from both of your lips.

He stayed still for a moment to allow you to adjust to his size per usual, but god the way your walls tightened around him had him groaning and using his hands to keep him steadied. “Move please..” You said quietly as you buried your face in your hands slightly. Miguel just chuckled, “Anything for you mi querida.” he breathed out his head coming to rest by your neck, his soft groans as he picked up speed and the sounds of skin on skin had your head reeling.

Then the faint noise of people down the hall getting closer had your head perk up and had him stop thrusting. Then the door opened, he didn’t make an effort to pull out and or stop, nothing. He stayed nestled inside you as you felt like you were going to die. His employees and or other spider-people had strolled in coming to ask him some questions not before asking who you were.

The first person who came in was Hobie, he was here to ask about something anomaly but you were a bit out of it at the moment. Then his attention turned to you, from his perspective or anyones it just looked like you were leaning on Miguel’s desk with your head in your hands with Miguel behind you. If he or anybody moved a little further to the right they would have seen what was REALLY happening. “Who’s this?” Hobie asked motioning to you, usually nobody or nothing slips from his lips when he gets asked random questions like this but he answered truthfully, “My wife, now is that all Hobie?” he asked as he pretended to look at the papers in front of him, he enjoyed how you squirmed slightly and the way your cunt clenched when he moved in the slightest. “Yeah but how come we’ve never met her huh?” Hobie questioned motioning to you loosely, “Because you’d do things like this, now is that all?” Miguel asked again as he moved forward slightly the tip of his dick nudging that spongy part deep inside you that had you wanting to make some kind of noise so bad.

“Eh I guess, by the way this is mine now.” He said pointing to a miscellaneous object heading out before Miguel could say a word, it had you giggling slightly. Miguel quirked a brow at your giggle before leaning down, “Oh that funny huh? How about this?” He said pulling himself out completely causing you to whine and protest before he rammed back into you a ‘Oh!’ falling from your lips. His teasing and comments lasted a good 5 or 6 minutes before another person walked in.

“Ah Jessica, What do you need?” Miguel said standing up more once again with the way he moved it had you gasping slightly covering your mouth before she could take notice. “Right well I was looking over the missions schedules and I was wondering if- Hold who’s this?” She asked motioning to you, to which you gave a meek wave not really wanting to open your mouth for fear of what sounds you might make. “Right since everyone will most likely ask this, this is my wife.” He said a bit exasperated. “Okay okay no need for the attitude, well it’s nice to know he has someone who puts up with him for us.” Jessica said with a small laugh. Then the two of them went about talking about business like it was nothing, like Miguel’s cock wasn’t stuffed inside you and like you weren’t dying inside.

Eventually she left and you gave her a wave goodbye before huffing slightly, “Miguel please, please make sure nobody else comes in here cause at this point I want you to just fuck me into this desk.” You cried out as you felt him leaned forward and placed kisses along your neck moving some hair out of his way. “But you feel so good this way.” you could feel his smug little smirk against your skin as your cunt clenched at the praise. “Oh? You like that huh..” he whispered as he pushed a few buttons on his little screens in front of him, the lock to his office doors clicking automatically so nobody else would come inside. 

He then lifted you off him and laid you across his desk, “I’ll do exactly what you want me to, but you're gonna have to be quiet okay?” He asked and you frantically nodded then he brought the tip back up to your folds teasing you until whisper pleaded then he drove it in causing you to gasp before his hand came to cover your mouth. His thrusts were fervent with need as you eyes shut tight your little gasps and cries muffled by his hand.

“So fucking tight, So warm for me, So so good.” He groaned out as he picked up his pace, almost feeling inhuman to you. The praises going straight to your core, clenching around making him huff and groan, occasionally coming down to kiss along your neck, allowing your hands to pull and run through his hair as he murmured praises into your skin. After all that waiting and teasing and more waiting you felt a familiar knot forming in your stomach, “Miguel..Miguel I’m going to, Please,” You breathlessly begged and he chuckled against your skin with a slight huff. “Do it, Cum around my cock.” he said with a small groan.

Then the knot snapped and you were squeezing his dick as you came, your thighs wrapping tightly around his hips as your head lolled back against his desk, he continued to ride out your high as your gasps became a bit higher from the sensitivity. His huffs and heavy breathing became more fervent as his thrusts became sloppier before he eventually reached his release, peppering kisses into your skin.

He carefully sat you up, his hand resting on the small of your back as you sigh with a small laugh from you. “To think I just came here to bring you lunch.” you said looking up at him, “You could say this was my desert.” He chuckled.

Fin.

[229zmi]

THE ONLY MAN EVER

PAIRING: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader

CONTENT: reader and iwaizumi are locked in a storage closet

WORD COUNT: 1.7k

“Help. Someone, please help us. Ah, poor me, I’m stuck with— ack!”

You don’t know whose jacket it is for sure, but judging by its odour and the fact that a certain someone on the team keeps complaining about his missing jacket over the past couple of days, it must be Yahaba’s jacket that suddenly falls over your head, spurring tears in your eyes and an automatic urge to gag. Yanking it away from you, you shoot Iwaizumi a hurt look. “That was evil.”

“Are you even taking this seriously?” he asks in a nearly accusatory tone. It’s difficult to make out his face in the darkness of the storage closet, but you can assume he’s glaring at you. “It’s after school hours, hardly anyone walks down this hallway. We could be stuck here for hours before anyone notices we’re gone.”

When Coach Irihata asked for someone to move some equipment from the gym to the storage closet, Iwaizumi had volunteered first like the charitable person he was, and you were adamant on making it a two-person job — in which Iwaizumi would do all the lifting and your presence by itself would bless him with very much-needed moral support along the way.

However, the door had slid shut and locked when neither of you were paying attention, which brings you to now.

Stuck.

“Boo-hoo,” is all you feel like saying in response to his distress, your only source of entertainment now that you’re in this situation. “Why don’t you try breaking down the door or something, Mr. Hulk. Show off those big guns.”

For your own added amusement, you waggle your eyebrows at his indistinct silhouette and motion to your own biceps, pretending to flex them as if you’re a bodybuilder.

“I’m so glad I can’t see right now, whatever it is that you’re doing.” Iwaizumi sighs, running a hand down his face and along his jawline upon hearing your giggles. “Do you have your phone on you? I left mine in the clubroom, but we could call someone to get us.”

Sheepishly, you reply, “I left mine in the gym.”

There’s a silence that lasts for a whole minute as he processes your words.

“Great. Now we really are trapped.”

“Aw, it’s not so bad. You’re with me.”

“That’s exactly what makes this so horrible.” You hear some shuffling, then a hissed expletive as you feel a pair of shoes stumble over yours. The cracking noise that arises from him swivelling his head in your approximate direction, presumably toward the ground, is enough to pull another fit of giggles out of you as he chastises your shadow, “You’re actually laying down? This storage closet is already cramped as it is.”

“If we’re gonna be stuck here for hours like you say, I’m going to take a nap,” you explain your reasoning like it should be obvious.

You pat around the floor for a moment until your fingers graze something cold and metallic, wrapping around the object and shaking it. A clattering noise rings throughout the quiet ambience of the storage closet. This is a shelf, you conclude, imagining your voice to be like that of those narrators in wildlife documentaries. Covered in a thick layer of dust particles and cobwebs; a safe haven for all species of spiders.

“Shit, what’re you doing now?” Iwaizumi sounds as though he might break down from the stress. Inwardly, he prays to the universe for the door to open as soon as possible. “Stop that, I won’t be able to call 119 if something falls on your head and you get hurt.”

“Such a worrywart.”

“I’m being logical. Unlike someone else here.”

“Okay… worrywart.” As funny as you’ve been finding all of this, you decide to finally sit up straight, even going the extra mile to announce to him that you are doing so for his sake, though there’s no need to now that both of your eyes have adjusted to the darkness. One of your hands slaps against the floor, like you’re trying to beckon over a dog or a toddler, not that he’s either of those. “Come sit down next to me.”

“No thanks.”

“C’mon, pleeeeease. There’s some empty space over here. I already checked.”

“You just want to use me as a buffer from the spiders.”

“Well, duh.”

“Lucky me,” he grumbles.

“So are you sitting here or not?”

“What do you think, loser?”

He takes a couple tentative steps towards you, careful not to step on any part of you as he plops down on the ground beside you. The kind gesture is done with just the smallest amount of spite— with several elbow jabs at each other as he tells you to move over an inch. Nevertheless, after the two of you reach a stalemate (though in your opinion, you’re the one that emerged as the victor since he backed out first), you are more than content, even going as far as declaring him your knight in shining armour.

You can’t see the blush blooming on his cheeks after you say that, but you can certainly see him trying to hide it by hovering a hand over the lower half of his face.

“Don’t call me that,” he says.

“How about my guard-dog?”

Iwaizumi pokes your side, and you squirm away, laughing.

“Be serious.”

“Whatever. I’m taking a nap.“

After your laughter dies down, you nestle up to his side, sort of slanting your body so that more of your weight is on him rather than on the hard floor. The process is easier said and done, given how little room there is, but once you deem your position comfortable enough for sleeping, you rest your head against his shoulder, and it’s surprising how you do all this without any complaints from him. In fact, it isn’t until you shut your eyes that he finally speaks his truth.

“Hey,” you feel him press a warm hand against your forehead before moving it to pinch the bridge of your nose, effectively making your eyelids flutter open so you can make sure your hand doesn’t miss him when you swat at his irked face, “when the hell did I ever agree to this?”

“You didn’t need to. Isn’t it in the job description of a good friend?”

“To what? Be your pillow?” His voice rises with incredulity. “Not as far as I’m concerned.”

“Fine then. Iwaizumi Hajime, the only man ever,” you announce, “do you take me to be your lawfully wedded whatever, to live together in marriage and blah blah blah—“

“What?”

“—to make sure the critters crawl all over you instead of me at any cost, for better or for worse, in strength and in weakness, in wakefulness and in—“

“Don’t say it like that!” His hand comes up flicks your forehead before immediately brushing over the area with his thumb to sooth the pain. There’s a slight stutter in that first word that does not go unnoticed by either of you, yet you don’t point it out. He hopes you can’t hear how fast his heart is beating in your proximity to him.

He glances down at you, your head still on his shoulder. The corners of your mouth lift to reveal a shit-eating grin, and he scowls.

“I hate you.”

“Nuh-uh.” You wag your finger at him as if you’re an evil villain in a kids’ cartoon. “You love me.”

The silence that hangs after your words instead of a snarky denial is so abrupt and unexpected, you wonder if an object from one of the shelves just hit his head and knocked him out or something. However, he’s still clearly conscious when you peer up at him to check, staring at nothing in particular with his tongue poking at the inside of his cheek: a telltale sign of him thinking.

“You alive?”

“Yeah. Just— go to sleep,” he says at last. “I’ll watch out for any bugs, rats, whatever, just please stop talking.”

“Finally!” You smile, turning your head to the side to press a chaste kiss against his upper arm as a small thanks. “Good luck, and may the door also hit you in the head when we get found.”

Frowning, Iwaizumi can’t see how that’ll work when you’re the one closer to the door. Nonetheless, he doesn’t mull over it for too long or bother complaining about it, letting you fall into a peaceful slumber and possibly the best nap you’ve ever taken.

Oikawa expects a lot of things when he opens the storage closet.

He expects a couple spiders to fall on top of him (for which, in that instance, he’s prepared himself by holding a textbook over his head). He expects a rat to run out and dance around his feet (for which he’s also prepared himself with vocal warm-ups a few minutes earlier, in case he needs to scream). He even expects a shelf to suddenly collapse, a broom to fall onto him, an inflatable stick figure with Ushijima’s face to pop out at him — anything but the cliché scene that lies in front of him right now, both answering the question that has been brewing inside of him ever since he realised his two friends were gone and also raising some new ones in its wake.

Slowly, he lowers his arms, his chin at a lower position than usual as he stares, flabbergasted at the sight of you hugging Iwaizumi’s shoulder like it’s a teddy bear and Iwaizumi, who to his credit is still fully awake, making violent gestures with his free hand for Oikawa to keep his mouth shut.

Oikawa gets it, despite there being no words exchanged. To wake you up means that bad things will come his way, most likely multiple volleyballs thrown at his head and a lengthy lecture. However, there’s no way he’ll pass up an opportunity to make fun of his best friend later, when the circumstances are much safer and you are awake to keep a leash on your guard-dog. (He snickers to himself at the controversial yet fitting nickname.)

He shoves his textbook under his arm, then starts fumbling through his pockets for something. Iwaizumi realises too late what Oikawa is about to do, mouthing the word don’t just as he hears a click from the brunet’s phone.

Oh fuck, he thinks. Not only does Oikawa have a picture of you nuzzling your face against Iwaizumi’s arm but now he probably has a picture of Iwaizumi looking stupid as hell with his mouth open mid-word.

As Iwaizumi shoots invisible daggers at him with his eyes, Oikawa makes the wise decision to cancel out the other not-so-wise one; he shuts the door and books it down the hallway.

[flufffilleddonut]

Phone Sensitivity - Part 2

Summary - MePhone4 repays the Cheer Factory after their last encounter.

Word Count - 1200

-

Daytime had arrived on the island of Paradise. MePhone4 could be found walking down the beach that encircled the island, contemplating the challenge he would be assigning his contestants later that day.

As he made his way along the shore, something small and pink visible in the sand up ahead caught MePhone4’s attention.

Bow was sitting on the beach, seemingly alone, playing in the sand. MePhone4 glanced around and confirmed that it was just the two of them in the area.

Memories of the night prior suddenly filled the phone’s head, when Bow, along with Goo, had launched a joint tickle attack against him. Eyeing the pink object, MePhone4 figured this may be his only opportunity to seek out his revenge.

Smirking to himself, MePhone4 sauntered over to Bow’s current position, stopping just behind her.

“Hey Bow.” He greeted her calmly.

Bow turned around, grinning as she spotted the phone.

“Hey MePhone! What do you think of my sandcastle?” She chirped, turning back.

“Looks pretty good.” He took a subtle step closer.

“I’m not sure what to name it yet, but you better believe it’ll be something amazing.”

“I’m sure.” He replied, taking another step forward. “Say, Bow, do you remember last night?”

Bow froze for a moment, silent, before continuing to sculpt with the sand.

“Uh, yeah, ha ha. You were all depressed so Goo and I distracted you to make you feel better.” She recounted, nervousness clear in her tone.

MePhone4 folded his arms behind his back. “Must’ve been one heck of a distraction, huh?”

“Yep, it sure was. Ha ha…”

Bow halted her work once more, a beat of silence passing as she remained motionless on the ground. Then, without warning, she started scrambling to her feet, intent on fleeing the scene.

Once she was standing, however, Bow felt herself further lifted into the air, as MePhone4 quickly scooped her into his arms.

“Oh no you don’t.”

He then gently yet firmly pressed Bow up against his screen to prevent her from wriggling away.

Bow struggled momentarily before realizing she was trapped.

“... shoot. Is it too late to say sorry?”

“Yes.”

Bow then felt a single finger make contact with each of her sides. They started slowly dragging up and down in unison.

Bow burst out into giggles. “Wahait! Wahait! Cahan we tahalk ahabout thihis?!”

“Oh, I think that time has passed.”

MePhone4 then fully wiggled his fingers into Bow’s sides, her legs starting to kick as her giggles became more frantic.

“Nohoho! Stahahap ihit!”

“What’s that? Sorry, it’s hard to understand you through the giggling.”

“I sahahaid stahahap!”

“Huh, funny, I remember making a similar request last night, which was ignored.” He recalled. “But, I’ll be fair.”

MePhone4 slowed his fingers to a stop, giving Bow a chance to recover. The reprieve was short-lived, however, as Bow soon felt small circles being traced along the underside of her two pink, triangular loops, which were attached to either side of her torso.

Her giggles resuming, Bow slightly curled in on herself. She heard MePhone4 chuckle at her reaction.

“We juhust wahanted to cheheer yohou up!” Bow attempted to reason with him once more.

No response came from the host. Instead, the light tracing switched to skittering. Bow’s giggles became full-fledged laughter as she started to squirm.

“NAHAHA-! NAHAHAT THAHAHAT!”

“Not this?” MePhone4 teased, speeding up his fingers. He smiled as Bow’s squirming increased in intensity, quickly slowing the skittering back to the original pace. He didn’t want to overdo things.

“PLEHE-AHAHAHA!” Bow laughed out, unable to properly form words.

“Alright, alright.” MePhone4 conceded, slowing his fingers to a stop.

Bow gasped in air as residual giggles continued to spill from her.

“Lehet mehe goho!” She weakly pushed at MePhone4’s screen.

“Not until I’ve settled the score.” He asserted, tentatively poking at the two spots where Bow’s loops met her torso. She flinched in response.

MePhone4 then shaped his hands into claws, hovering them in the air momentarily, before bringing them down and scrunching his fingers up against the two areas.

Bow thrashed, her arms waving wildly. “AHAHAHA!”

After a few minutes of the action, MePhone4 let up, slowing his hands to a stop.

“Alright, I think you’ve suffered enough.” He teased, carefully setting Bow down on the sand. “You okay?”

Bow spun around for a moment, dizzy, before shaking her head clear. She turned to face him.

“Yeah, I’m good.” She dusted herself off. “I see why you enjoyed our distraction last night, though. That was actually kinda fun!”

MePhone4 blinked.

“Wh- … I-I didn’t-”

“Okay bye~!” Bow cut him off, waving as she made her way across the beach and onto the grass, her figure eventually being obscured from view by the island’s foliage.

MePhone4 grumbled, crossing his arms.

What does she know?

Just then, rustling could be heard from a nearby bush, followed shortly by the emergence of a small, blue blob from within the dense leaves.

“Bow?” Goo called out, stopping in his tracks as he noticed the host standing alone on the beach. “Oh, hey MePhone. Have you seen Bow? I thought I heard her over here.”

MePhone4’s smug expression quickly returned.

“Goo! Just the guy I’m looking for.” He approached the small blob.

“H-huh?” Goo stuttered, suddenly being lifted up.

MePhone4 placed Goo into a single hand, the other being used to start poking at him.

“Hehey!” Goo giggled out in response.

He then felt a sharp squeeze from the hand supporting him as the poking continued.

“Eheek-!” Goo squealed, squishing his body down. “MehePhone!”

“What’s up?” He responded casually.

“Ihihit tihihickles!”

“That’s kind of the point, Goo.” MePhone4 halted the poking, instead opting to flutter his fingers up against the squishy, blue surface. “This better?”

“Ehehahah!” Goo laughed as the fingers danced across his blue figure.

“This is your comeuppance for last night, by the way.” MePhone4 noted, continuing the action.

“Buhut yohou fehelt behetter ahafter!”

“Yeah, well, I’ll feel even better once I’ve returned the favour.”

MePhone4 then slowed his fingers to a stop, clasping Goo with both of his hands. Taking a breath, he drew Goo in close, planting a raspberry on his side.

“HA-! Ahahaha!” Goo’s laugh boomed as the electric-like sensation rippled through his semi-solid body.

Goo appeared to slightly melt in MePhone4’s hands, indicating to the phone that he couldn’t handle much when it came to tickles.

“Alright, I’ll let you off the hook this time.” MePhone4 leaned down, carefully placing Goo onto the sand, where he further puddled.

A wide, wobby smile was present on Goo’s face. “Thanks…”

“Don’t mention it.” MePhone4 examined his hands, which were now lightly coated in blue residue. He shook the substance off. “See you at today’s challenge.”

He then strolled off, quick to act as if nothing had happened.

Walking along the beach once more, MePhone4 felt a sense of satisfaction from his revenge against the Cheer Factory. Hopefully, the two had learned not to mess with him, as they had done the night prior. However, a second hope, one who’s presence MePhone4 refused to acknowledge, longed for the pair’s ‘playful techniques’ when the host felt down.

Maybe he should give them the opportunity to cheer him up again.

Just once.

-

[rallentando1011]

Waddup!! Can I have a one where the turtles have a s/o with verbal Tourette’s tics that are just… hella rude. Like, I literally yell “Shut the fuck up, baldy” as one of my tics. 😭😭 Just rude things they don’t mean.

Thanks for the request! I've been working through 'em and having a fun time! (Guidelines are HERE btw)Just fyi, this is based on my personal experience and research. Please let me know if I have any inaccuracies or if there’s anything useful to add!

ROTTMNT Boys W/ Reader with Verbal Tics

Donnie:

Donnie stares

Not judgmentally, not emotionally at all for that matter, he just stares

Consider it his waiting period for his central processing unit to catch up

After a brief moment of registration, he nods and continues on with whatever conversation or demonstration or interaction was occurring before

Donnie directly lets you know that it is always okay for you to experience your tics

None of that trying-to-restrict-it-for-politeness’-sake business around here

When you feel uncomfortable or tense or just overall weird, he wants that you always feel comfortable to express whatever you need to in his presence

If you ever try to apologize for one of your tics, he bluntly asks, “What do you have to apologize for?”

He knows that it’s involuntary, that you have no genuine intention to say something flippant

He doesn’t expect an apology for that

Mikey:

Mikey immediately pales and pouts

That’s just his spontaneous reaction

His thought process is kind of just: Mean words? Mean words directed at me? They must mean it personally and I must be a terrible person and they must hate me and-

But then he realizes: Oh. Right.

And the bad thoughts stop flowing

If his reaction makes you think that he’s upset with you, he quickly assures you of the opposite

He didn’t mean to seem aghast

He was just surprised

So he reassures you that he would never, could never get mad at you for something out of your control

He loves all aspects of you and will always be your biggest supporter through anything and everything

Leo:

Leo’s pretty chill, pretty nonchalant about it

Normally he just moves along; that’s all one really can do

Sometimes, however, like if the tic occurs at a comically bad time, he laughs

Not just a normal giggle either

It’s the kind that one tries to stifle, but it bubbles up their throat and nose and actually ends up being significantly louder

Either that or he smirks

Although, if you feel like he’s poking fun at you, he fervently clarifies that he just found the timing funny, not you or your tics

He also apologizes profusely (if you’ve been looking for a favor from or leverage over him, now’s the time)

Leo feels slightly guilty if you happen to pick up a rude word or phrase from him

He also finds it objectively funny, only if you’re not upset by it, of course

Raph:

Raph instinctually mutters a “language” if he’s not paying much attention when he hears your tics

Pin it on his big-brotherly/motherly instincts

He hears a swear and/or vulgar language, he calls it out

After a moment of you just looking at him, he realizes his error

Quietly, Raph admits and says sorry for his mistake

Other times, he hears you and tilts his head, waiting for elaboration

His conversational awareness, at times, is shoddy, so he can use some help understanding whether or not you intended to say something or not

He’s not perturbed with you at all, no matter what you end up saying

He could never blame you for it, seeing as you have no volition in what your tics are, though he’ll do his best to educate himself on the topic, ask you about your triggers so he can avoid them, see if there’s anything he can do to help

Whatever you need, he’s got you

(side note: hey @nickelodeon #rottmnt is trending again/still)

[suosopulius]

I wrote a little something! Neve POV, hinted Harding x Rook, Rook is GN and unspecified race but a clown. Just pure silliness.

Cool Lines

Neve Gallus sidestepped a puddle and smiled to herself when the sound of Lace’s giggles carried over the noise of rain and market goers.

Rook laughed too or rather giggled. Neve noted that this bout of giggling had a worrisome note to it. It was conspiratorial, barely stifled, the kind of laugh that one tried to hide to no avail. 

As Neve had not been an active part of the discussion that evidently had led to this giggliness, the detective concluded that she was, in fact, somehow the reason or the object of the aforementioned giggles. Which one, however? She planned on finding out. 

Stopping under a terrace of the Lamplighter, Neve turned to face her companions who had been following her around Dock Town a few paces behind. Lace’s hair clung to her flushed cheeks and Rook stepped into a puddle, oblivious to anything but Lace’s laugh. 

That had been happening more lately. Lace laughing, and Rook causing it. Those two got along like a house on fire. Both were stubbornly positive and valued action over contemplation. Both of them were good to have on your side in a battle and loyal to a fault. Lace liked to laugh and Rook liked to make Lace laugh. 

Neve had the suspicion that something more than friendship was growing between the two. But that was not a mystery she felt the need to investigate. Things seemed to be moving well on their own. As rather action-oriented people Rook and Lace were eventually bound to kiss about it. 

“Care to share what’s so funny?” Neve asked and couldn’t help but be a bit amused as she took in the pair. 

“It’s really stupid,” Lace replied but didn’t seem guilty. So, the two of them had probably not been laughing at the detective’s expense.

“It’s really, really stupid,” Rook continued and looked a little sheepish. Neve lifted her brow in silent question. 

“Well, I - ”,

“Well, Rook was -”,

Again, a bout of giggles erupted from the two as speaking at the same time seemed to be a fine joke. Though, Neve was not impervious to the silliness of it all and she smiled at her companions. 

Rook managed to take a calming breath and cleared their throat. 

“We were wondering if you’d say ‘you’re on thin ice’, next time you cast blizzard.”

“Or ‘stay frosty’ when you do some other spell,” Lace added.

“Or ‘keep it cool’!”

“Oh! Oh! Oh! I know!” Lace exclaimed and waved her hands in excitement. “‘Looks like you’ve been put on ice’ when you do that time slow spell.”

Rook gasped in genuine amazement and mouthed ‘Lace!’, which caused the dwarf to snicker. 

Neve sighed. Of all the silly antics to suffer through… well, this wasn’t the worst, but it would take a while to forget these gems of expression. Though, maybe she’d write down one and on Lace’s name day perform a spell and deliver the line. The one about thin ice was not too bad… no, it was bad for a battle, the venatori would laugh but as a gift, it’d do. Besides, Neve could picture how happy such a small gesture would make the dwarf. All right, she’d embarrass herself at a later date as a treat to Lace. And Rook. They probably would be a couple by then. 

Neve sighed and placed her hands on her hips. An authoritative stance, but not an intimidating one.

“No,” Neve said. “Those kinds of lines belong to serials. Not the streets of Minrathous.”

“Okay,” Rook relented in the same tone they had used when they had gotten on a roll to empty their supply of hand-related puns in Arlathan. Luckily Bellara had been present to tell them to stop while they were ahead. 

Lace sighed and cast her eyes downwards, clearly a little disappointed to end the shenanigans.

“Though, Lace,” Neve said. “Why won’t you say ‘no stone unturned’ next time you move stone?”

The dwarf’s head snapped upwards and her eyes shone brightly as her mouth split into a grin. Rook gasped again.

“That’s… perfect!” Rook uttered and looked down at Lace who was already practicing the words while taking the stance she typically took when concentrating on moving stone.

“You two are children, you know?” Neve asked, not expecting a reply as she watched her two friends enjoy a moment of levity. The drizzle had started to wane, and a bit of sunshine reflected from the puddle Rook had stepped into a moment ago.  

[potassium-pilot]

FFXIVWrite 2023, Prompt 27: Sole

Dia has met zombies on more than one occasion. She's fought off her fair share of them in several locations. She's met the gentleman zombie converted by Hildibrand Manderville. She likened the tempered of Garlemald to zombies with the way they moved and acted.

This day, however, she understood what it meant to be a part of the living dead.

A raucous night in the Forgotten Knight with Hilda and Joye led to what she had hoped might be a rehabilitation of sorts to public drinking. The rehabilitation was all too successful, ending with Dia waking up in Borel Manor with not even a shred of memory of the night before. Slowly, she made her way into the kitchen to obtain some fresh water. Her head was pounding, her skin felt glued onto her bones, even the sound of blinking pulsated within her skull. It was official; she overdid it.

This much was proven when the kitchen door opened behind her, and a well-meaning Aymeric greeted her with a "Hello!" He was met with the pained groans of a woman in the throes of a nasty hangover.

"Ah. Forgive me", he apologized much quieter, "I had assumed."

She held up a finger to indicate "One moment" while she drank her water. From there, she leaned against the kitchen counter, placed her hands against her head, and did everything in her power to focus Esuna enough to remove it. Aymeric leaned on the opposite of the counter to watch. Her eyes were closed, her lips were pursed, and her mind was doing everything in her power to recall the ability, adding to the headache already pulsing through her.

In a minute, life returned to the lifeless, and she could let down her hands as Esuna worked its magic across her body.

"There we go. I feel like a person again, at least. Sorry about that", Dia remarked before she leaned across the counter to kiss his cheek.

"I wish I could say I was surprised. When Hilda returned you home, you were barely hanging onto consciousness."

"Oh gods, Hilda. I'll have to see how bad it was last night."

"Be ready. No one likes how they act when they're in a drunken stupor."

Dia kept drinking water. Upon finishing her sip, she asked, "How bad was it when I came home?"

"Not terrible. You were mumbling about how happy you were to see me, giggling, and stumbling about the place. Eventually, I shepherded you to bed, but I was prepared for more difficulty than that."

"You're a saint. What brings you home at this time?"

"My meal time allows me some leniency, and I thought to use the hour to ensure that you let live." Aymeric smiled. Then, realization flashed in his eyes.

"Ah, and the man who robbed you is to be arraigned in an hour, if I remember the schedule correctly."

"Ha-ha, very funny", she returned sarcastically.

"I'm serious."

"Wha?"

"You...don't remember at all, do you?"

"Not even a little. What the hells? What did he take?"

"A few hundred gil, and some odd red and blue trinket", Aymeric answered.

"Red and blue trinket? What did it look like?"

"A rectangular shaped object with red and blue lines running up and down the surface."

It took her a second, but she soon remembered. "Oh! That's an Allagan tomestone." She pulled one out of her inventory. "I use them to buy dirt. Oh gods, they're not going to make this man fight in the tribunal for taking my dirt money, are they?"

"...why are you using ancient Allagan technology... to buy dirt? And how?"

"Adventurer's market likes the dirt Rowena has in stock. Look, can I stop this?"

"At this stage, you would need to discuss dropping the charges with the magistrate. Considering that the arraignment is so soon, I'm not sure what can be done at this stage other than pleading with the magistrate to let him go. You may find significant protest to such a measure, however."

"Why?"

Aymeric sighed. "There's not a soul in Ishgard who has not heard about what happened."

"What? I got wasted and a guy picked my pockets. What's there to tell?"

"Precisely that. Many, from the Pillars down to the Brume, find that what the man did to you dishonored your legacy...myself included, I'm afraid. Though you seem adamantly opposed to fighting him and I shall support your wishes in this matter, I was also gravely offended to hear what he did whilst you had no control over your body."

She buried her face in her hands. "You can't do anything about this?"

"Little and less, I'm afraid. I created a government that specifically deters public figures from being the sole leaders of Ishgard. The power is in the hands of the people, and it would take the support of the House of Lords for a pardon to come into effect. That said, I can at least offer some weight behind your pleas and write a letter to send with you."

Dia breathed a long, heavy sigh. "All right. I appreciate the help, anyway."

"Of course."

"And thank you for checking on me. I'd eat lunch with you, but with the timing of everything..."

"No need to explain. I'll write the letter first and foremost."

------

Dia spent a good portion of her time running and teleporting. She started with the magistrate's office in the Vault, the secretary who presided over this office asking for a case number. Of course Dia knew of no case number as she only knew of this trial some quarter bell ago. Then she was off to the Congregation, who gave her a case number. She returned to the Tribunal only to be asked for the name of the perpetrator, cursing herself for not knowing it. Back to the Congregation, she personally made sure there was nothing left that she needed to know of the man and her case, and returned to the magistrate, only to be told that the magistrate residing over the case was in a meeting and she would have to wait.

And wait she did until the time was nigh for both the magistrate and Dia to be in the courtroom.

The magistrate opened the door, clearly in a rush, but stopped when he saw her.

"Mistress Sito! Forgive me, I expected you downstairs."

"I know I'm supposed to be, but I've been trying to talk with you this past hour. Listen, about this case-"

"Let's walk and discuss this."

"Wait, we don't need to do it!"

The magistrate seemed shocked. "Mistress Sito, do you recognize what you are asking?"

"I am. I simply do not wish to fight a man over some gil and a tomestone."

The magistrate blinked. "At this stage, Mistress Sito, you would have to ask for the charges to be dropped in the Tribunal."

"All this for some gil?"

"All this for some gil taken from someone who is considered one of the most revered heroes of Ishgardian history, and I say this without a trace of exaggeration, madam. There are many people who are watching this case."

Dia shook her head. "All right. To the Tribunal, then."

The two of them quickly made their way from the Vault to the Tribunal. Both entered from their respective entrances, Dia being led to the prosecution side of the table where she could see her robber.

The Elezen man opposite her was a scrawny young man, with his hair disheveled, clothes tattered, and face filled with fear. He knew he would be fighting her, and she desperately wished not to do that. Hilda entered and joined her side of the courtroom.

"Ye feelin' better?" Hilda asked.

"Well, I'm not hungover, at least. Sorry if I was a wreck last night, by the by."

"Eh, don't worry 'bout it. Drinkin' makes a fool of all of us."

"Can I just let him go? I don't want to fight him."

"Ye could let him go, but consider- this crowd's pretty fired up. I've already heard talk around the place of what people would do were he to walk. If he were to be let free, no one could control what happens to the poor sod after the trial. Chances are he's safer in prison than he is here."

"Well, shite. What do I do now?"

"Hm...I have an idea."

As expected, the magistrate called upon Hilda, the person who made the arrest, to explain the charges being levied against this man. The man was determined to be in good enough shape to fight. From there, the floors opened behind the two of them and both her and her robber were led downstairs.

The robber was the first to come out. He didn't see his victim anywhere in the arena, confusing him greatly. Soon, however, she appeared before him and he couldn't help but gawk in complete surprise.

Dia stepped onto the field in a culinarian's smock and hat, pulling out her pan and brandishing it as she would a weapon.

"Food's up, Heuritrellain!" Dia called her robber's name with a smile and a wink.

Not a single person watching the match wasn't confused by her attire and choice of weaponry, except for Hilda. The halfling watched above with a smile.

Heuritrellain stopped staring, and picked up the sword he barely knew how to use, shaking as he held it. Dia faced him down happily, allowing him the first move. Soon, he picked up his courage and made a full run towards her.

As Hilda watched, she remembered the first thing she told Dia in the courtroom:

"Make it seem like you're trying."

For his unprepared run did he earn a loud 'THWACK' against his face, knocking him to the ground.

"Come on, then! You've got the sword here, not me!"

Heuritrellain stood up, and tried to slice behind him, Dia's Echo warning him of his next move instantly, even before he did anything- his tells were incredibly obvious. She dodged his attack effortlessly and taunted him with an obnoxious guffaw.

"What are you doing?" Heuritrellain asked.

"Fighting, of course!" Dia answered before smacking him upside the head once more with a frying pan. When he fell once more, Dia went down to his side and spoke quietly to him.

"Listen, I don't want to put you in prison. Just pretend to get me down and you can go free."

"No."

"Huh?"

"I don't want to go free. I bloody robbed the Savior of Ishgard."

"You...didn't mean to rob me?"

"I didn't know who you were. I thought you were just some drunken noblewoman. I couldn't see your face when you were passed out face flat on the table."

"Oh gods, I'm never drinking again", she mumbled to herself, clearly lying.

"If the defendant does not stand up, he forfeits the trial!" the magistrate called. He picked himself up.

"Just keep making swings at me. I'll avoid them", she assured quietly. He followed her advice and made his incredibly obvious and unpracticed sword swings at her, all of them dodged with ease.

"Why'd you choose to fight me if you clearly don't?" he asked between two of his swings.

"Thought I'd give you a chance. I don't want you in prison over this, but I think you know what happens if I let you go without a fight." The duelists continued their discussion between sword swings.

"I'm sorry I robbed you. I really am."

"Don't worry about it. Next time, though, you'll have better results asking for help."

"Lesson learned. I lost my job in the Western Highlands when the war ended. They didn't need me smithing weapons anymore. Course, I wasn't about to go about cursing your name when the war's over now like some of my coworkers did, but I've been having difficulty getting back on my feet."

"I'll point you to someone I know when you're free."

"I'm not going free, Savior of Ishgard. I told you that."

"Unbelievable." She smacked him once again with the frying pan, but against his left hip this time. That was still enough to knock him off balance. "That's for being stupid. I'm letting you go. Take it!"

"No..."

"Come on, get up!"

"No. I'm staying here. They can drag me away."

"Heuritrellain..."

"Ten..." the magistrate counted down.

"Punishing yourself isn't going to make what you did disappear."

"Nine.."

"I've already forgiven you. Who are you hoping to appease?"

"Eight..."

"Please, Savior of Ishgard...I don't wanna go back to the Brume."

"Seven..."

"Heuritrellain..."

"Six..."

"I'll forfeit right now, Heuritrellain."

"No!"

"Five..."

"Then get up and fight me properly."

"Four…"

"Savior of Ishgard...", Heuritrellain began to get up, standing on his hands and knees, "The world owes you a debt beyond anything anyone can repay in your life time..."

"Three..."

"...I refuse to add to it any more. What I did was wrong and it was witnessed by everyone."

"Two..."

"I don't deserve to go free. You call it punishing myself, but I can see pretty clearly who's doing the punishing."

"One..."

"I'll do better."

He fell over and laid on the ground face up.

Before she realized what he did and could forfeit, the magistrate declared, "And the trial is won by Dia Sito!"

"Wait, no!"

The magistrate clearly wanted this ridiculousness out of the way as he deliberately interrupted her from forfeiting the trial. Temple Knights appeared and dragged the man out of the arena. Her pan was placed back in its holster, and she watched as he was pulled along the ground.

---------

The trial concluded, Dia took the time to walk around the Brume, try to find someone, anyone who knew him. Along the way, she could hear denizens of the underground of Ishgard discuss the events.

"And wit' a bleedin' fryin' pan, no less! Either she's cocky or she's mental!"

"People can be both, mind."

"Eh, the sod deserves to get a lil' humility out of it. That's what happens when you try an' fight the woman who saved the whole Fury-damned star."

"No kiddin'. I wouldn't wanna be him."

"How his sister holdin' up?"

The last bit caught Dia's attention.

"Who knows? Since the whole affair started, Henricie locked herself away and no one's seen her since the trial."

"Can't blame her, really. I wouldn't wanna be dragged into that mess either."

With a name and a relation, Dia asked around to find her, getting pointed to a house in the Firmament. She made her way to the nice cottage and knocked on the door.

Nothing was heard.

"Henricie? It's Dia Sito. Can I talk to you? Please?"

There was yet silence. She held up two hands around her mouth. Then, the door swung open.

"Why are you here?"

Dia took in a quick breath, having lost what she was going to say out of humility. "Look, I wanted to apologize for what happened with your brother."

"Don't you dare. I want nothing to do with that coward."

That stunned Dia. "B...but why?"

"He deserves it. All of it. He'd rather roll over and face defeat than try to fight for himself. Fury's sake, you went out with a frying pan! He still lost!"

"I..."

"I knew perfectly well you wanted to let the whole thing go the minute you went out there looking like you were to prepare his dinner after the fight. I just hoped that maybe he'd try more, and he wouldn't. He bloody wouldn't!"

"Henricie--"

"I will hear no apologies. You did better with a kitchen utensil than he ever could with a sword. You earned your victory, and he chose to lose. You are, without a doubt in the world, the only person that has any faith left in him. You're the only one who would want to see him again. Leave it alone, Savior of Ishgard. He's not worth your time."

With that, Henricie slammed the door shut and left Dia with a frown on her face.

--------

Heuritrellain sat in his cell alone. The sun barely peaked in through the tiny windows. This was his life. This was what he deserved. This was the apt punishment for what he did. It had to be. It just made sense.

At least, that's what he believed.

When a Temple Knight opened his cell door, however, he called his beliefs into question.

"Get up. You're free to go."

Heuritrellain gawked in surprise. "I...I am?"

"Yes. You've a visitor at the gates as well."

The Elezen man stood up and followed the guard out of the door. Once they reached the processing area, he noticed who stood at the desk.

"You!" Heuritrellain pointed.

"Me", Dia smiled back.

"What...what's happened here?"

"Focus on getting your stuff back and getting processed, hm?"

He did just as she insisted, and together, Dia and Heuritrellain left the dungeons of the Vault.

"H-how did you do that, Savior of Ishgard? That was less than a sennight."

"The name's 'Dia' and I'll thank you to stick to it. I got in a word with the House of Lords. Once I reminded them that I knocked you out with a frying pan, they seemed to agree that the public humiliation and the week you've already been in there was punishment enough, especially after I presented them with the Lord Speaker's own letter saying that you should be freed. They agreed to pardon you after that."

"Ah...I don't know how to thank you, Dia."

"Heuritrellain, I've talked with that friend of mine that I told you about in the Firmament. Turns out the Skybuilders could most definitely use a blacksmith for repairing tools. If that's what you'd want, I'd consider that ample payment for letting you out of prison."

The former robber smiled with awe and wonder. "That would be perfect! Oh, it's been a while, certainly, but-but I think I can do it..."

"Before you get started, I'd talk with your sister. She wasn't too happy with me when I tried to apologize for what happened."

"Ah...I shall, thank you!"

"Now go on! The Firmament awaits."

Heuritrellain ran off, leaving Dia to return to the Congregation for her Firesday lunch tradition. Once in the Seat of the Lord Commander, with lunch prepared did the two of them enjoy their midday meal.

"May I ask you something, Dia?"

"Sure."

"Why did you go to all that trouble for that man? He robbed you."

"He did. I know it doesn't seem worth my time..."

"...but?"

"But...", she released a breath, "...it made me think about Hector."

That made Aymeric put down his sandwich. "Dia, not everyone can end up like your father."

"Gods, I hope you're right. He should be here."

"That's not what I mean."

"I know, I know. And I know I deserve better than to be robbed, but I guess I just...I can't bring myself to be too harsh with people doing something like pickpocketing me. It'd be one thing if it was violent and he went at me with a knife. He'd be eating dirt in a minute. But that...I just don't feel right. I've had worse happen to me than that."

"So long as you know that the harm brought against you by others justifies not what he did to you."

"Yes, I know you're right, though I would say smacking him about with a culinary utensil might not be the most righteous thing either."

"Perhaps not, though the trial and a week away from the public spotlight seems to have calmed people down."

"It calmed the House of Lords down, anyway. That's the important bit."

Aymeric nodded. "I agree."

"And he can tuck himself away into the back of a blacksmith's workshop where no one can find him."

"Sounds like a rather lonely life..."

"From what I've seen, that's exactly what he wants."

[unluckyprime]

can u tell I liked taylors teen fact this week

[fairytsuk1]

getting katsuki gifts for the holidays was like trying to teach a monkey to dance, it was impossible.

you'd whined, mumbling about how the two of you had enough money to buy most items you wanted; katsuki also never seemed to never ask for things specifically.

"so, katsuki... the holidays are coming up!"

he's picking at his ordered in take-out, and you can see his displeasure at the lack of peppers as he picks through his kung pao chicken.

"yeah, already got your gift," and he's giving you smirk that makes you sweat, "are you sure you got the right chicken? this shit tastes like the fuckin' kids menu."

your eyes get caught on the wedding band wrung around his fingers, sailing the veins of his forearm till you can see his bulging biceps in the black muscle shirt. was your husband hand-carved by gods? seemed likely.

"mmm, no, it should be the kung pao chicken, want me to chop some chilies up for you?"

you're standing before he can protest, taking out your knives and chopping boards, "and you already have my gift? I don't have your gift, yet."

the box of take-out is set down as your husband circles his arm around your waist to leave soft kisses on the column of your neck.

"yeah, 'cause you don't love me," and a thankful hand squeezes your ass just to show his appreciation for the chopping of chilies, "...whatcha gonna get me?"

his hands are still wandering, and you're thinking more of what his talented fingers could do than his stupid gift, "i'm not supposed to tell, you know. santa's elves might get me into a whole lotta trouble."

he gropes you even more fiercely, and you can feel his pressing need against your back.

"fuck santa,"

he carries you off in a fit of giggles to your shared bedroom.

-

the bookstore was fairly crowded and you felt thankful you could slip by unnoticed and browse the various books of romance or sci-fi; katsuki didn't even seem like a sci-fi guy so each row left you feeling panicky and like a bad wife the further and further you went.

"excuse me, do you have any classical romance?"

the timbre of the voice makes your heart stop. It sounded just like, well, katsuki! your legs are thrumming with the knee-jerk reaction to tackle him to the ground, but you were literally buying his gift! the surprise would be ruined, and you're dashing into the row of cookbooks to calm yourself.

maybe it's not even him. you know what they say, just because it sounds like katsuki doesn't mean it is! you're affirming yourself silently when footsteps grow close, and your husband is flashing by you in seconds.

it is katsuki!

"i'm fucked."

your eyes follow the object of your love, his strong hands randomly pick books out of nowhere, but there's grumbles of displeasure as he skims the summary and grimaces at the cover. he didn't know that much about books, but you deserved something special.

you'd dealt with all the hero stuff (being gone for long periods of time and coming home nearly dead was no news to you), always made him lunch or dinner, and frankly... katsuki found his eyes drifting to a sleeping baby in its stroller.

he'd started thinking more like that. so the gift had to be pretty damn good!

a man strikes up conversation, and you smile at the idea that katsuki wasn't just factually married, but he gave that aura too. yeah, that was your man.

"i'm shoppin' for my wife," straight to the point and he's already grumbling at having to interact with this person for more than a minute.

"wow! a true husband, what's with the books then? looking to open your marriage?"

it's a joke that katsuki doesn't find funny, you do however and you're sure this conversation would be going very differently.

"fuck no. i'm just lookin' for somethin' good," there's a brief pause in his words, and katsuki looks askance at having to provide a reason why, "she does a lot for me. want her to know I appreciate it."

a beating heart is soothed by the words. your hormones run wild at his mild love declaration, and you're grinning like a mad man.

katsuki wakes up on christmas morning to find his absolute favorite thing; you.

and the book he got was pretty damn good, too.

[poppadom0912]

99 jay Halstead

Prompt 99 'Let's have a baby'

A/N: It took me a minute to write this but here you go! Hope you like it as much I do. Posting this as a sort of celebration of the new seasons.

*****

You came home with such an emotion painted on your face that it brought a smile to Jay's face despite the horrible day he had. There might've been casualties today but with you walking in with the biggest smile on your face, your dimple shining so much he was blinded, you could turn over any day.

"Look at you." Jay smirked, putting his beer down on the coffee table and coming towards you, waiting for you to finish putting everything away before leaning down and kissing you, feeling your smile against his lips.

"What's with the smile?" Your husband asked, letting you drag him back to the sofa, sitting very comfortably on his lap which he did not object to.

You had to stop yourself from getting lost in his eyes, your hands cupping his jaw, not bothered with the prickly feeling his stubble brought.

"Let's have a baby."

You said very seriously, your smile dropping in your seriousness as you watched him closely for any type of reaction. The two of you had been married for nearly two years now and yes, you'd have the occasional talk about children but after the wonder-filled day you had as a paediatric nurse, you finally caved.

"Baby." Jay said under his breath, forcing you to pinch him to make sure this was definitely real life and not a dream. "Don't lie, it's not funny."

Your soft smile and hands on his face were what made Jay realise that this was real, the biggest smile breaking out as he chuckled.

"I thought you'd never ask." He pulled you into his embrace, your head falling into his neck, arms going around his chest while his went around your back, pressing multiple kisses into your hair.

Stifling your giggles against his lips, you continued to kiss him, quick, short pecks and long, passionate ones which was the cause of the two of you moving to the bedroom.

*****

You thought nothing of your dizziness and sudden vomiting episode you had, blaming it all on the fact that it was flu season and you worked with kids who had no care for sanitation.

However, you did start putting some thought into it when you struggled staying on your feet, stumbling when you tried to get out your chair and walk towards a room to do your job.

It was purely coincidence that Will had a patient he moved from the ED up to the PICU, having just so been in the area when he witnessed you stumble in the corner of his eyes.

In a literal split second, Will was by your side, holding you up when your feet struggled to hold up your body weight. "Woah Y/N, you okay?"

Overly cautious and worried for his sister-in-law, Will watched your every move, waiting for something good or bad to happen or waiting for you to get your bearings together; he wasn't too sure.

"I- I'm okay." You slowly nodded, trying to blink the blurriness away and bring back your normal sight but failed. With how very poorly you were feeling, a heavy weight pushing down on your chest, you knew you weren't going to walk away from this alright. "Will, Will I'm gonna-"

Before you could properly warn him, you collapsed into your brother-in-law's arms, dropping like you were nothing but a rag doll.

"Get me a gurney!"

*****

Waking up in a bed you couldn't familiarise yourself with was daunting and had it not been for the ring on the hand holding yours, you definitely would've tried to escape.

Hearing you groan, Jay's eyes snapped up to yours, sighing in relief when he saw you blinking in confusion. "Oh thank goodness."

"What happened?" You asked, still groggy from fainting. You eyed the needle in your hand, following the clear tube up to the IV bag hanging besides your bed.

"You fainted." Jay replied. Despite his endless hounding at his brother for answers, Will kept it short and promised that he would tell him everything once you regained consciousness.

"In the middle of the work?" You groaned, digging your palms into your eye sockets. Everyone was going to be like guard dogs around you for the next few days, even if you repeatedly reassured them you were completely fine.

Before Jay could reply with anything remotely snarky or sarcastic, Will knocked on the treatment room door frame, smiling at your conscious self, you were looking much better than you were back in the PICU where you looked near dead in his arms.

"Welcome back." Will smirked, glancing down at his ipad with information from your bloodwork and all the tests they did on you. He both ordered and read them hours ago, the only people knowing what it said was himself and Maggie.

Clutching your husbands hand, your tried to not dig your nails into his palm. "What is it?"

"Well... It's not an it." Will bit back a smile, putting down the ipad on the bottom of the bed that your feet didn't reach, thanking the nurse for preparing the ultrasound for him.

"Your blood tests showed elevated levels of HCG." He looked at the two of you, gauging your reactions which were very different, your eyes wide as you realised what he meant while Jay glanced between you two in confusion.

"Will, I don't-" Jay cut himself off when the nurse turned on the ultrasound, Will warning you of the cold, quickly applying gel and bringing the wand to your stomach.

It was too early to hear a heartbeat but you could clearly see a little blob sitting in a clear sack. The little blob was yours and Jay's and it was in your stomach where it would be for a long but short time of 9 months.

With tears in your eyes, you had a wobbly smile when you looked at Jay who tore his eyes from the machine, his green eyes watering too when they met yours.

"We're having a baby."

[roohuh]

“Did your bag grow wings?”

Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Summary: Sebastian takes pity on a girl who’s bag has been stollen by bullies.

Warnings: angst kinda, hospital and chronic illness trigger

Word count 1066

Sebastian eyes the girl as she awkwardly tries to scramble up a tree to retrieve a bag caught in the branches. After a few failed attempts she stands hands on her hips staring up at the bag, a forlorn look darkening her brow.

“Did your bag grow wings?” He asks in his most serious voice, scrutinizing the bag. Turning to Sebastian the girl seems to only now notice him.

“Oh just leave me be!” She pleads before bending over to pick up a rock.

“As you wish.” Sebastian chuckles, throwing his hands up, backing away. The girl rolls her eyes, then begins to throw rocks at her bag.

“You will never get it down like that.” Sebastian laughs at her struggling. “Where is your wand?” Whipping her head around the girl catches Sebastian off guard with a tearful face. She looks as if she is going to say something then turns around, running away with all of her might.

“Hey wait up!” Sebastian calls, whipping out his wand, retrieving the bag. The girl does not stop for his call, instead running back to her house. Standing there dumbly Sebastian grasps the bag, feeling the shape of a wand inside.

“Dummy, you need your wand.” Sebastian shakes his head walking in the direction the girl ran. He does not make it far before he hears soft crying coming from the girls bathroom. Wavering before the door, Sebastian tries to decide the correct course of action, knowing he could just give her bag to a house elf and be done with it. They would return it to the rightful owner, however the sound of muffled cries tugs at him.

“Merlin's beard this better not backfire.” Sebastian sighs before pushing open the door and walking in. The crying stops the second the door opens.

“I have your bag.” Sebastian offers, hoping he has not just stumbled across another different unfortunate girl. Sniffles come from the stall furthest from the door.

“Do you want your bag or not?” More silence. As Sebastian turns to leave a small voice comes from the stall.

“Please leave my bag.”

“She speaks!” Sebastian laughs as he gently sets the bag down in front of the stall.

“Thank you.” Her voice is small and shaky.

“Anytime.” As he turns to leave a thought occurs to him. “Who threw your bag in that tree?” There is a long silence then the girl lets out a shaky breath.

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes it does.” Sebastian’s voice is firm.

“Then I did it.” She shoots back defiantly. Running his finger through chestnut hair Sebastian chuckles.

“You are a strange one.” Then makes his exit.

As Sebastian sits to dinner he watches with satisfaction as the girl's bullies shuffle over to where she sits. Sebastian easily tracked down the cuprates teaching them a lesson they would not soon forget. The group of thrashed malcontents cast fearful looks in Sebastian’s direction while they deliver their apology to the girl. She too keeps sending looks in Sebastian’s direction, and the looks do not stop after the dejected group of miscreants shuffled to their seats. Before Sebastian can finish half of his plate he notices the girl standing excusing herself from the table. Unable to contain his curiosity, Sebastian stands to follow the girl. At his friends sudden movements Ominis gives Sebastian a funny look.

“Going somewhere?”

“The toilet, I need some air.” Sebastian mumbles as he makes his escape ignoring Ominis objection,

“Oh yes, just the place I go for fresh air.” Sebastian follows the girl unnoticed as she leads him all the way up to the infirmary, then sits on a bed expectantly.

“Did those troglodytes hurt you?” Sebastian snaps. She whips her head around, surprised by his sudden appearance.

“I swear I’ll-“ Sebastian’s treats are cut off by a soft giggle from the girl.

“I thought I heard someone behind me.” Sebastian stuffs the floor with a shoe putting his hands in his pockets.

“I… Well, I was worried that maybe they had said something nasty to you. Never can count on a bully to give a good apology.”

“I don’t know what I have done to earn your protection.” She raises an eyebrow to the freckled face before her.

“I just can’t stand to see a pretty girl cry.” Again Sebastian is given an eyebrow. Before the girl can give her retort the nurse walks in. At the sight of Sebastian standing there the nurse pauses giving the girl a funny look, to which she just shrugs in response.

“And how are we feeling today?” The nurse asks, hovering her wand over the girl as a dim green light is emitted from the tip.

“Fine.” She replies dismissively.

“That bad?” Stopping her work the nurse study’s the girl's face. “How many fits did you have?”

“Five.”

“Goodness me child! You know you are supposed to come and see me the second you have more than three.” Thrusting a vile of a sweet smelling potion into the girl's hands the nurse hurries away.

“I’ll be back.” She calls. As she drinks the liquid, a chill causes her whole body to tense.

“Are you alright?” Sebastian’s worried voice brings her eyes back on him.

“That’s a broad question.” She teases.

“I guess it is.” He rubs the back of his head. The sight is so reminiscent of his own sister trying a slew of potions given to her by a nurse who always wore the same worried expression. At the thought Sebastian begins to feel queasy. He sits on the ground.

“Are you alright?” Now it’s the girls turn to look concerned.

“That’s a broad question.” He mocks her tone. Looking down at her hands the girl seems to say more to herself then Sebastian.

“My second year at Hogwarts. I was in an accident. Had to take a year off to recover.” Sebastian stands again feeling guilty, he knew she had not wanted to be followed here and by the way she is sitting now she still does not want him here.

“I’m sorry.” He stammers as he backs toward the door. “I will give you privacy now.” All of his usual suave demeanor gone, he fumbles with the handle.

“Thank you.” She calls after him. “For your help today. With those jerks and my bag. Thank you.” He nods before disappearing out the door. He needs to find Ominis.

[fillinforlater]

Placebo Effect

Male Reader x Honda Hitomi

Length: 1601 words

Tags: toys, vibrator, heavy orgasm, cute sex, kisses, a lot of bodily fluids, healthy relationship, switch dynamic, clothed orgasm, squirting, breast worship, praise, cumming on tits, masturbation, proactive!Hitomi

TW: none, but it’s not that greatly edited sooooo...

Inspiration: This @friskyriskywhisky ask with great pics, the idea is already in it 

Credit: @friskyriskywhisky 

(A/N: A seemingly random quickie, very cute, not that rough stuff. I wanted to switch it up a little. I hope y’all like it)

“Look what I got!”

Adorable, you think with a sigh of adoration. Your girlfriend, cuteness impersonated, jumps up and down. She just returned from her shopping tour, and from one of her countless bags she pulls out a silver object in an odd form. The shiny device fits perfectly into her small hands, and she begins to rub it over her exposed, well-trained leg.

“What even is it, my pretty cutie-pie?”

“It’s a massager to relieve your stress, my dummy handsome-pie! Just run it up and down your body and your muscles will feel less tense and you become relaxed.”

You look at her hesitantly, as she sits down on the olive armchair and continues to roam her slender body with the two round ends of the massager. Her eyes sparkle in fascination, and you hear her cute giggle. Still, you remain unsure of its effectiveness. 

"Uh, Tomi, are you sure this thing works? Not just some placebo effect?" 

"Trust me, you'll like it too~" 

Suddenly, the somewhat cold metal is pressed on your arm, and as Hitomi slowly makes her way upwards to your biceps, she cards up your shirt to expose what’s beneath. She licks her lips at the sight of what you achieved after hours of long training, and puts more pressure on it. 

The rumble makes your arm feel funny, more like a tickle than any sort of stress relief. Before you can interrupt her, however, Hitomi smirks and her fingers pull down your shorts. A moment later, you feel the massager on your soft shaft.

“ Tomi, that's too—wait! Not down there—" 

You let out a moan and she silences you by getting on her toes and sealing your mouth with her's. For the first time in your relationship, Hitomi is the one dominating such a kiss, a kiss, where all sexual intention is clear as day. She rubs the now-sextoy up and down your gradually growing cock. It starts to make you light-headed, which she happily uses to force you down to the armchair.

“You like this?”

“Tomi, it—it feels very good, don’t stop, please!”

“As if I could,” she giggles, climbing onto your lap, the toy beneath her body, touching yours but not hers, “You look too adorable—I don’t want it to stop.”

Another kiss, this time a full-blown make-out session, as the vibrating sensation and her soft lips initiate a deep craving for this to become even better. Exchange saliva with her by using your tongue like a turbine to spin it into her. You feel her try to do the same, but the small woman is not willful, not forceful enough to do it. 

This is the moment you strike. Your fuzzy, formerly idle arms find their way to her back and nape respectively and press her closer towards you and, more importantly, down. Her private part is forced onto the vibrating toy, giving her the same sensation you have.

Hitomi moans in surprise, then she giggles and grabs the hem of your shirt. You do the same to her knitted pullover, and simultaneously you undress each other, disregarding the clothes onto the ground. Before you can get a hold of Hitomi’s shorts, she starts to grind her crotch in passionate trusts. In an instant reaction you throw your head back and groan.

“Fuck, Tomi. Th-this is not… how this works.”

“But, but it feels so good. Your body likes it, hihi.”

“Yours too,” you breathlessly respond, poking the rosy cheeks on her otherwise pale skin. Another cute giggle, and she grinds faster. Both of you leak onto underwear, precum, wetness, sweat from each other's incredible body heat. Groans and moans fill the otherwise dead quiet room. Luckily, you closed the curtains, or someone walking their dog could see you.

One of the straps of Hitomi’s bra slides down and you take the chance to pull the other down as well. The cups drop, her small breasts with hard, light pink nipples atop are exposed—but just for a split second, as the abashed girl covers them again. 

You know of your girlfriend's self-worth issues when it comes to the size of her chest. Telling her that you love her and her breasts with all your heart hasn’t helped, so you try to not talk about it. It’s made a lot easier by her taking the floor with whiny whimpers of pleasure:

“Do-don’t you dare—ah—cum from j-just this.”

“You’re one to talk, Tomi. Fuck, I bet you’re close.”

“I-I can go forever.”

“Really?”

You switch it up in more than one way. Grab her butt and spin her around, onto the olive cushions, trained legs parted, stained shorts exposed. Consequently, the metal object fell to the ground, so you pick it up and place it where you assume Hitomi’s clit is. A cry and jerk at touch confirms: you hit bullseye.

You press gently, drawing circles and leaning close to your girlfriend who has her eyes shut and lips trembling. In a seductive, yet loving voice you decide to make this a session to remember:

“Tomi, I love you. If you cum in your shorts and undies, if you are my little lewd girl for just this once, I promise to give you anything and everything. Now, be good and squeal for me~”

Hitomi’s squeals are unrivaled. You never want to hear another girl make this sound while pressing a ‘vibrator’ onto her hard nub. They way her gorgeous features melt into drool and sweat, and how her cutely tied hair becomes messy makes you throb in your pants and maybe, just maybe, the visual of your girlfriend climaxing her mind out, will make you cream yourself. 

She is getting closer. Her arms can barely cover her mounds, her legs become unstable, shaky noodles. If not for your free hand stabilizing her mini-butt, she would slide off the chair. Exactly that second hand is all you need to finish her off. You guide it upwards, to the spotted shorts and move under them to her soaked panties—a short rub is enough, it seems.

“B-baby, ahh, I love you—”

The bright, mostly white fabric of her shorts turn dark and darker which each of her hips jolt upwards. Looseness all over her frame, especially her limps contracts and then fold. Her voice is the same, screaming and moaning out her pleasure, then becoming numb as she tries to catch her breath.

Although absolutely amazing, the lack of visuals, except for the color change, leaves you still throbbing. The desire for your sexual release makes you tear of your belt, and pull down your pants. Not bothering to step out of them, you shift closer to Hitomi, who looks completely dazed. Narrow, glassy eyes tell a story of how good her orgasm was. 

“Tomi, please, let me finish too.”

“C-cum on me th-then.”

To your surprise, Hitomi’s numb arms fall to her side, her tits revealed to you. They heave with each of her deep breaths. Overcome your initial surprise and start to stroke. It will only take seconds, but something in the back of your head bothers you: what if Hitomi only does this, because she still hasn’t recovered? Or has she finally come to accept and love her smaller chest? Either way, you groan out moments before you orgasm:

“Tomi, your breasts are, are fucking perfect.”

“R-really? I don’t—”

“Let me sh-show you. I will, fuck, cum on them.”

Pull back harshly, and your first rope flies. It lands in the valley between her tits. Everywhere around the first one, your load spreads on her torso. White cream sticks to her skin, runs down her mounds, and the final spurt finds its way on her erect nipple. 

Eyes wider than before, Hitomi looks at the painting you put on her chest. It takes her a couple of seconds to realize—the same amount of time you need to find footing in this world again after flying to cloud seven. She begins to laugh, voice a little bit raspy, and hides her face behind her hands.

“This is really how you—I can’t believe this—this is how you want me to love my breasts? By… cumming on them?”

Awkwardness, but only until you join her in laughing.

“Y-yeah, I guess. Man, I must be stupid.”

“Yeah, stupid but cute. And very loving… so thank you.”

#

After a thorough clean up, two seperate showers, an hour of TV and ordering chicken with rice and vegetables, you wrap Hitomi and yourself in a large blanket and watch the sunset. Every now and then, she feeds you, and then it’s your turn. ‘Just like in college,’ she said, making you fall into a laughing fit at how awkward and innocent the two of you were back then.

The food has emptied out, the chopsticks in between your fingers are replaced with her fingers, entangled tightly to never let go. She sits on your lap, her head rests on your shoulders. In a quiet minute without reminiscing about the past, you pay attention to her heartbeat. Its pace puzzles you; why is it racing so fast? Of course, she is in love with you and all, but that speed is unsettling.

Then the reveal—

“Baby, y-you said I can wish for o-one thing you and you would do it, r-right?”

“Yes, I did. And I mean it. Why? You want me to do it now?”

“Y-yes.”

“Then what is it?”

The reveal—like fireworks, and a pulsar, overwhelming and glorious. With soft eyes, slightly pouty lips in a serious, yet stupidly cute expression, her words follow. Simple, yet incomprehensible. 

“Baby… let’s marry.”

[fuhutao]

best friends, but more // the harbingers as the best friend you realize you’ve fallen for <fics>

featuring: childe, scaramouche (separate) x gn!reader

genre: (a little!) hurt/comfort

a/n: these started off as hcs but now they’re 2 whole fics HAHAH send help :D

if you’ve already seen this before, it’s because i had to restart my account & am reposting all my previous works here!

on that note, all likes and reblogs are very appreciated :)

childe

• as the resident best friend, you’ve always been very close with childe’s large family. but as the two of you grew older, his siblings began to suspect you were more than just a playmate. it was an innocent observation on their part, and yet, it never failed to make you feel just a little warm inside.

• childe has always been and always will be a sickenly affectionate best friend. the kind that goes “i love you too!” when you insist you hate them. now, you might complain about how annoying it is, but it’s rather sweet. if there’s something you want, he’ll buy it for you without a second thought. he shamelessly pats your head and pokes your cheek to grab your attention. he’ll hold objects high above so you can’t reach and tease you with nickname after nickname. at times like these, he feels more like a boyfriend than anything.

• you’ve always felt so at peace with him. he’s never failed to make you laugh with his stupid, stupid jokes and slowly, your heart would skip a few beats as well. these gestures were no big deal as children, but you definitely aren’t children anymore.

• you’re one of the few in his life that are both (1) his age and (2) do not harbor an infectious blood-thirst. therefore, you serve as his personal anchor to reality; holding him tight after countless battles and treating his injuries, all the while fighting your own growing emotions.

• since he is always sent away on duty, you are left with a lot of time to ponder your feelings for the harbinger. were they platonic or….something more?

• say you did like him romantically—which you try to convince yourself you don’t—you could never imagine coming in between him and that burning passion of his. yes, he is a monster in the battlefield, but to you, he’s still the wonderful boy you befriended years ago. and because you saw no fault in him, you felt as if you’d hold him back.

• this didn’t mean you knew how to deal with his careless teases and playful touches, however. they weren’t annoying anymore, they were frightening.

• it all went down one day when you guys were watching over his youngest siblings: tonia, anthon, and teucer. the children had let it slip that the two of you seemed like a couple, being so close and all.

“oh? well, i wouldn’t mind taking little _____ on dates, would you guys?” childe laughs, slipping an arm around your shoulders.

“nope! we love _____!”

you giggle along with them, but an uncomfortable pit forms at the depths of your stomach.

awhile later, childe is walking you home after dropping the kids off together.

“hey, is something wrong? you’ve been unusually quiet.”

“huh? nothing’s wrong, you weirdo.”

“hmmm..” childe leans over and flicks your forehead.

“ow!”

the two of you share a smile, but there’s a silence that seems to stretch an awful lot of time. it’s only when you’ve reached your house, that your best friend decides to break it:

“you know, what i said back there wasn’t really a joke,” he blurts out.

“huh? what do you mean?”

“about taking you on dates..about us being a couple.”

stunned, you laugh nervously, your head does a spin. what’s going on???

“well, aren’t you going to say something?”

“i don’t know what you’re up to right now, but stop it. this isn’t funny..”

“i’m serious!”

“so am i, ajax!”

and suddenly, childe is grabbing your hand and placing it on his chest. it’s so abrupt, you don’t know what to do. why was he playing with your feelings? the very ones you were so sure you could ignore?

“stop-”

“wait. feel it, _____. do you still think i’m joking?”

• underneath the layers of clothing and flesh, his heart was beating just as rapidly as yours.

scaramouche

• no one knew just how you managed to befriend the grouchy harbinger, including him and yourself

• well.…you weren’t really his best friend per say, perhaps his only. and the main reason for this was because you wouldn’t butt out of his life! practically everyday, you would visit the menace.

• the two of you have known each other since your teenage years and perhaps that explained why he seemed to…tolerate you. however, this never once stopped his bully-esque remarks.

• you didn’t mind he was a man of few (pretty horrible) words and to be honest, really admired him. you soon realized that this feeling was not just admiration, but to your horror, love?!! oh dear.

• knowing scaramouche, you didn’t have any hopes of him reciprocating your feelings. all the negative things he’s ever said to you—about you—came crashing down and all of a sudden, simply brushing it off wasn’t so easy.

• afraid that your relationship would change if he ever found out you liked him like that, and the inevitable disgust on his face if he did, you decided to distance yourself from him for just a bit. he always mentioned you were a bother anyways, right? or perhaps he wouldn’t notice at all.

• oh, but he did. you were taking a stroll around the area when he cornered you. there were no other fatui agents in sight, so it was safe to assume he came alone.

“oh. good morning!”

“don’t act like everything’s normal. where have you been?”

“here? i’ve been here?”

“are you stupid? a whole week’s passed since you last spoke to me. what’s your excuse? make it good and i’ll decide if you live another day.”

“haha, i’ve been busy, scaramouche. did you miss me that much?”

your best friend stays silent, his eyes boring into yours.

“don’t do it again. i was worried.”

“worried?” you can’t believe your ears. “pfft! shouldn’t you be focusing on, i don’t know, fatui..duties—?”

“hey, arent you the one who always claims we’re best friends? what happened to that?” best friends. it looks like it physically pains him to say something so childish, vulnerable. best friends. in the past, you would’ve laughed and rejoiced—“the man finally admits it! we’re best friends!” now, you can’t help but blink sadly.

scaramouche notices the falter in your eyes and sighs crisply.

“look, _____. i know i’m harsh, but…you’re special to me. so please. don’t leave, got it?”

• the pink creeping up his ears tells you all you need to know.

[msweebyness]

Class of Heroes AU: Himbo Vs. Horsebo

Also known as the battle for Ondine’s affections! I come to you with a new Kimdine short! Kimules wants to spend some time with his girl, but it seems that a certain winged equine also wants her attention! As always, shout out to @imsparky2002 and @artzychic27! LMK what you think in comments and reblogs!

Attempt #1:

The sound of the nearby stream rushing over the rocks and the beautiful sunrise that painted the sky provided the perfect setting for a romantic stroll. Which was exactly what Kim had been thinking when he’d invited his princess of the ocean out with him that morning. And things couldn’t be going more perfectly, if you asked him! Ondine’s melodic laughter rang through the morning air as she was telling him a funny story about Sebastian, and the young demigod couldn’t help thinking that she looked almost… angelic with the rosy glow of the emerging sun washing over her. The feel of her small, soft hand in his own calloused palm made his cheeks warm and butterflies flit about in his chest.

Kim’s pulse began to race when Ondine turned and gave him one of these heartbreakingly beautiful smiles, the ones he would do anything to see. Donning a tender smile himself, he began to lean down towards her, and she moved forward to meet him, both sets of eyes fluttering shut. However, just before their lips could meet…

Splash! Kim was suddenly face down in the stream after feeling something slam into him from the side. Hearing Ondine’s laughter, he pulled his face up from the sandy, wet surface and saw the culprit of his current predicament looking rather smug as he nuzzled against the object of the demigod’s affections. Xuppu.

Scowling at his winged companion, Kim pulled himself up from the streambed, ready to let his ever-so-faithful steed have it.

“Oh, Kim, calm down! He was just playing, weren’t you, Xuppu?”, Ondine said brightly, smiling and giggling as the horse gave her another nuzzle, leaving her hero pouting with his arms crossed over his chest.

FAILURE.

Attempt #2:

“And Octavia kept insisting that the pillow was hers because it had ‘her initial’ on it, which I really thought was kind of a silly argument because all of our names start with ‘O’, but I didn’t say anything because you do NOT want to get between one of her and Oona’s arguments, believe me!”, Ondine was chattering happily later that day as she sat with her friends at lunch period, including of course, Kim.

He would’ve been content to listen to her talk about her home and stare dreamily at her all day, but unfortunately, this was cut off by the melodic trill of the five-minute bell. The assembled teens began to finish up their food, and gather their belongings.

Turning to Kim with a smile, Ondine asked, “I’ll see you after study hall, for History class?”, and the boy nodded eagerly, looking forward to seeing her again already. With a soft laugh from the red-haired princess, the two leaned in for a quick peck goodbye…only for something furry and bit smelly to intercept the demigod.

“UGH! XUPPU!”, Kim shouted in fury as he spluttered and wiped at his mouth in disgust. Ondine knew she shouldn’t be laughing, but couldn’t help letting out a small giggle.

“I’ll see you later, Kim.”, she told him with a smile, walking away with his menace of a sidekick trotting by her side. The disgruntled teen shot a fierce glare at Jean, Ivan, Ismael, Denise and Alix who hadn’t yet stopped laughing at his misfortune.

FAILURE.

Attempt #3:

An hour or two later, Ondine looked down at her pearl-studded watch with a start and realized she was going to be late for her Magical History class! Not in the mood for another lecture from Mme. Bustier, she took off through the courtyard. She had been making great progress, but as she hit the halfway point of the stone stairs leading into the school, she suddenly was taken by the familiar feeling of her feet missing a step and slipping backwards. Here we go again…

Thankfully, as it seemed to unfailingly always fold out, she was caught by someone before she could hit the ground. Turning her head to look, she was greeted with that ever-so-familiar, adorable smile as Kim held her in his arms.

“That’s four!”, she distinctly heard Alix cry out.

���Damn it, Ondine! I just lost ten bucks!”, which earned the young emperor a glare from the demigod who currently had her in a bridal carry.

“Thanks, Kim. I don’t know how you always manage to save me just in time!”, Ondine laughed softly as he gently placed her back on her feet, earning a rather cute blush from the boy in response.

“A-ah, it’s nothing! Hero instincts, I guess…”, he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck. Smiling brightly at her hero, Ondine moved to give him a kiss of thanks…only to be cut off by the concerned expression of a certain horse.

“Aww, don’t worry, Xuppu, I’m fine!”, the mermaid princess giggled as she nuzzled against his mane…not noticing the furious expression of her other companion, once again shoved off to the side.

FAILURE.

Attempt #4:

Xuppu had to admit, these ‘Hero classes’ that his nitwit took were pretty fun! He got to show off his flying skills and they got to beat up the fake monsters. Not as fun as kicking the butts of real monsters, but, well, what was? From what the winged equine had put together from listening to Kim’s boring teacher drone on was that today they were going to be practicing rescuing ‘damsels-in-distress’, with some of the school’s princesses and other young ladies stepping in to fill the role. (Which, Xuppu noted, quite a few of them looked none too happy about.)

Before long, it was their turn, and wouldn’t you know it, their assigned ‘D.I.D’ just so happened to be Ondine. The sweet mermaid gave the two a cheerful wave as she moved to the spot she had been assigned to stand, with a magically-mechanized centaur-esque monster that served as the challenge for the aspiring heroes.

“Ready, buddy?”, he heard his companion ask, turning to see the boy with an eager grin. Xuppu gave him a nod in response, smirking with anticipation. You even have to ask?

Obviously, they pulled off the mock-rescue flawlessly, earning applause from the teacher and the rest of the class. After knocking their heads together in their trademark celebratory gesture, Xuppu took in the praise and admiration, until he spied his nitwit of a demigod grinning goofily at something. Taking a look himself, he spotted Ondine approaching them, no doubt to congratulate them on their performance.

“Great job, you two! You had the fastest time in the whole class!”, she praised with that bright, pretty smile of hers. Xuppu puffed up at the praise while his partner blushed and scratched the back of his neck. He really is a sap for her, isn’t he?

“Well, we had some pretty strong motivation.”, Kim said shyly, making the girl’s freckled cheeks color with a blush of her own. Xuppu couldn’t help but roll his eyes, until he heard the young redhead say that his numbskull deserved a reward for doing so well.

Deciding that he may as well keep his streak going, the feathered horse took that moment to remind the two of his presence, shoving his head between them. Ondine laughed and gave Xuppu his usual dose of affection as she praised him for doing so good as well, while the mischievous steed couldn’t help but enjoy the irate look on Kim’s face. From the looks of it, the demigod was seriously considering the merits of skinning him! Which just made this moment even funnier!

FAILURE.

Attempt #5:

That evening, as the sun was sinking down below the horizon, Kim was walking his princess back to the dorms after enjoying dinner with their friends at a popular café on the school’s grounds. Much to his annoyance, Xuppu had insisted on accompanying them. Having accepted that he was likely not going to get to kiss Ondine today if his horse had anything to say about it, Kim had contented himself to just walk by her side as they returned to the school. After around ten minutes, the trio reached the doors of the girls’ dormitory hall. Turning to face Ondine, Kim smiled with his trademark blush.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”, he asked, and the mermaid nodded in response, sporting a bashful smile of her own. When the two stood there making moony-eyes at one another a moment too long, Xuppu rolled his eyes once more and decided to help his muscle-brain of a companion out this time. Planting his head firmly against the small of Kim’s back, the flying horse gave the boy a sudden, abrupt nudge towards the girl he loved.

Flushing an even brighter red at their sudden close proximity to each other, the demigod hero and the mermaid princess gazed into each other’s eyes for a brief second, before leaning in to finally share a tender kiss to close the day out. When they (finally) parted, Ondine bid the two goodbye before entering the dormitory building. Once she was out of sight, Kim turned to Xuppu with a small smile, petting his trusty steed on the head.

“Thanks, buddy.”

Ah, well, you had to throw ‘em a bone every once in a while!

SUCCESS.

Xuppu may be a bit of a stinker sometimes, but at the end of the day, he’s a good friend! Keep an eye out for more content!

[tiptapricot]

Signed, Khonshu <3

Khonshu was a god not known for his humor. His dramatics, yes, his disregard for rules, absolutely, and his disgraced visage after centuries of weak prayer, of course, but not his jokes.

He had heard the rumors and gossip, filtering through the overvoid like fire. Gods talked about how he was too serious, caught up in ideas about human morality and protection that made him… unlikable, to say the least. He objected, of course, but they never listened.

It was only after his separation from Harrow, forceful and bloody, that he came to the conclusion that humor could be a valuable asset in his search for a more loyal avatar. After all, humans enjoyed sociality, and inane, dumb, things that made them smile. It endeared them to people, so perhaps he could incorporate it into his work, and gain a new level of respect from his next servant.

When he discovered Marc Spector (and Steven Grant and Jake Lockley and perhaps more if he dug deep, but Marc is the one who fascinated him), he realized it was time to test his theory. He ran through his spiel, making at least half an effort to appeal to the man’s broken sense of validation and life, but his heart wasn’t all in it. It was the punchline he was working towards.

Khonshu hadn’t been around many modern day human activities. Harrow had always been rather reclusive and unsociable when it came to things like television and… whatever was on phones these days, so that, for the most part, was a mystery to Khonshu. Harrow did, however, frequent several local bars for a quiet drink and a place to clear his mind. And there, Khonshu had witnessed a rather interesting phenomenon: racing.

It wasn’t the bright colors or fast cars that fascinated him, no, those had always been hallmarks of human interest, the next biggest and brightest thing drawing them in, but the… designs. Logos, he was told they were, for advertisers, for businesses, plastered on the drivers in reverence.

How absolutely, ridiculously, human that was, he’d thought at the time, to brand oneself.

But it was only now, as his mind formed his ceremonial suit around Marc Spector’s body, that he truly understood what the reason had to be. It was funny. Simple as that. It was funny to see humans running around proudly displaying the names of those that got them there, like a naively groveling form of worship.

And so, because he had humor, because he was funny, and because he could make jokes thank you very much Osiris, Khonshu added a few extra details to his new avatar’s suit. It almost felt giddy to do, the tendrils of his throat swishing around like a cat’s tail as his mind scrawled his avatar’s tagline down the man’s thighs. And then, of course, because his artistry had to be attributed to him properly, Khonshu added his name over the man’s chest with a flourish.

My Moon Knight

Signed, Khonshu<3

Now all he had to do was wait until Marc Spector discovered his wonderful prank, and the man would be endeared to him through heavy laughter and human idiocy.

His plan was perfect.

*

‘…Marc?’

“Mm.” He barely paid attention to Steven’s plaintive voice as the last thug fell with a thump. Marc shook out his hands, glancing around at the group of smugglers laying at his feet. They weren’t dead, luckily, Khonshu was lenient enough now in their new deal to let him stop at just consciousness.

‘Marc, can you get to a mirror for me please?’ Steven’s voice was insistent, but there was something in it that caught Marc’s attention this time, almost like he was trying not to laugh.

“What, what is it?”

‘I just…’ Oh yeah that was definitely a smile. ‘I just need to check something.’

Marc glanced one more time at the smugglers, but they weren’t getting up any time soon, so he grunted in affirmation and stepped over them to the warehouse window.

“Alright, what’s wrong. I got egg on my face or somethin’?”

He got the impression of Steven shaking his head, and then a repressed giggle broke through the back of his mind. ‘Bugger, sorry, sorry, it’s just…’ Steven paused for a moment, like he was trying to collect himself. ‘Have you ever noticed what it says on your suit?’

Marc raised a brow, glancing over his reflection, but it didn’t look any different than it usually did. “No I mean… it’s got the like… the little drawing hieroglyph thingies or whatever, yeah, but those are like… holy scripture or somethin’ right?”

‘Um… no, not exactly.’

Marc’s neck tickled in embarrassment. “So what? Does he have me walkin’ around with cuss words on me or…?”

Steven laughed again, the sound of him taking a deep breath making the unease in Marc’s chest grow. ‘Ah, no, he doesn’t, he uh… well… Marc it seems like that bloody pigeon signed his name on you.’

There was a sudden burst of wind, shaking the walls and window panes as Khonshu suddenly materialized, stalking forward like a man possessed.

“Holy shit—!” Marc startled despite himself, mouth half open to ask what the fuck that was for, when Khonshu’s booming voice cut him off in deafening force.

“TOOK YOU FUCKING LONG ENOUGH!”

*

Uh yeah… Anyway! Inspired by these things. @mrcspectr @pizzee here’s my contribution to this lore, if only Marc wasn’t a beta cuck who couldn’t read 😔