#this is not the minnesota winter i know and love

[infantandinnocent]

todays walk

[cozy-in-my-head-my-bed]

i got a camera!!

[uconnwbbcrashout]

last winter break

prologue: “i know that i broke your heart”

paige x azzi

word count: 2.4k

content: mostly just angst and swearing (for now)

chapter list: here

author’s note: a bit of a prologue to set the scene for the next chapters. trust me when i say this won’t be the last of the angst. >:) enjoy!

Summer 2020

“Paige, hurry up! We needed to leave five minutes ago!”

“Gimme a minute!” Paige calls out her bedroom door, jamming one last workout shirt into her suitcase. “So damn impatient. Just tryna fuckin’ pack, man,” she mutters under her breath.

Azzi laughs quietly from her spot lounging across Paige’s bed and rolls her eyes. “You only had the entire summer to do it, P.”

Paige stops slamming her shoulder into the top of the suitcase and glares at her. “Whose side are you on here, Az?”

“Yours, obviously,” she answers easily.

“Alright, then prove it and help me with this,” Paige sighs, running her hand through her hair and gesturing to the mess of luggage on the floor. “Please,” she adds after a second, throwing Azzi one of the most pathetic looks she’s ever seen.

Azzi rolls her eyes again but slides off the bed and steps onto the top of Paige’s suitcase, bracing her hands on Paige’s shoulders for support. Azzi watches as Paige yanks the zipper shut and jumps up with a triumphant smile on her face. Before Azzi can even react, strong arms are wrapping tightly around her waist and lifting her off the suitcase and into the air.

“Paige!” she squeals, grasping onto the back of her shirt for dear life. She feels Paige burrow her face into her neck and start planting kisses there. She gets to a particularly ticklish spot below her ear and Azzi squirms to get out of her grasp.

“My hero,” she feels Paige smile into her neck, still holding her firmly around the waist a few inches off the ground.

Azzi pushes at Paige’s shoulders. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. Now please put me down.”

Paige obliges, slowly lowering Azzi back to the ground. Azzi moves to take a step back but is stopped from doing so by Paige’s unmoving hands, still planted upon her waist. Azzi looks up then, a smile forming on her face to match the one beaming back at her a few inches away. She shivers as Paige moves her hands up a bit, sliding beneath her cropped shirt. Azzi traces her hands up Paige’s arms to her shoulders, circling them around her neck and pulling her even closer.

Azzi takes a minute to take the sight in—the deep blue oceans in Paige’s eyes, the faint redness of her cheeks, the thin layer of sweat covering her forehead from the thick July heat, the messiness of blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, the slight parting of her lips, the strong line of her jaw, all of it. She lets her eyes roam freely, tries to commit the image to her memory, knowing that it’ll be far too long before she gets to be this close to Paige again. The trip from Minnesota to Connecticut isn’t exactly a quick one to make.

Azzi reaches her hand up to Paige’s jaw, stretching up on her toes and closing the gap between them. Just because she can. Just because she wants to.

She seems to catch Paige by surprise because she hears a quiet gasp before she feels soft lips press firmly against her own.

If Azzi had it her way, they’d stay in that moment forever. Young, perhaps a bit naïve, and full of love. Just the two of them, intertwined, with their lives stretched out endlessly before them.

Azzi pulls back first, keeps their foreheads pressed together, mumbles against Paige’s lips, “I’m gonna miss you, Paige. So much.”

She opens her eyes and leans her head back, watching as Paige swallows and smiles sadly. “Gon’ miss you too, Az.”

It’s quiet then, Paige looking down and reaching to scratch at the back of her neck. Azzi quirks her brow at that, eyes closely following Paige’s movements.

Why does she look so nervous?

Paige’s face shifts slightly then, the small furrow in her brow and the tenseness in her jaw a telltale sign that something is troubling her. And, yeah, maybe Paige had been acting a little stranger than usual today, but Azzi had chalked it up to nerves from moving across the country for the first time.

But now Paige is looking paler than usual, and Azzi is acutely aware of how sweaty her palms feel against the skin above her waist and something suddenly seems very, very wrong. “You okay, baby?” she asks, trying—and failing—to hide the concern she feels from her voice.

Paige clears her throat and blinks a couple times, the line between her eyebrows unmoving. Her eyes flit around the room, focusing on anything but Azzi. “Yeah, ‘course. I just, um. I just wanted to talk to you ‘bout somethin' is all.” Paige’s eyes finally meet Azzi’s then, and it feels like the usually calm waves in Paige’s eyes are pulling her in, drowning her now.

Azzi tries to give Paige her most reassuring smile, rubs a thumb gently across her cheek. “What is it? Is everything okay?”

Paige steps back then, grimacing, letting her hands drop and leaving Azzi feeling cold in the midst of the ungodly summer heat. She spins on her heel and starts pacing slightly in front of Azzi then, bringing her hand up to bite at her thumbnail. “Fuck, I’on know how to even say this.”

Okay, this must be really fucking bad, Azzi thinks.

Azzi shakily reaches out and pulls Paige’s hand away from her mouth. Paige drops her hand but keeps pacing, the furrow in her brow the deepest that Azzi thinks she’s ever seen. She tries to laugh it off. “Come on, P. What’s up? Just say it, okay?”

She watches as Paige seems to think hard for a moment before stopping and turning to face her with a pained expression upon her face. “I’on think we can keep doing this.”

Azzi’s heart drops straight to her stomach.

What?

“What do you mean? Keep doing what?”

Paige bites her lip and gestures between the two of them with her hand. “This. Us. Dating, I mean. We can’t keep doing this.”

Azzi isn’t sure whether she wants to laugh or cry. She thinks she ends up doing both, hearing some strange combination of the two choke its way out of her mouth. “Are you being serious?”

Paige is nodding her head, wiping at a tear in the corner of her eye, and, oh, fuck, she is actually being serious. “Yeah, I am. I just—I just don’t think we can. These things don’t work, you know? They don’t—they don’t last. I’m ‘bout to move across the country, Azzi. You gotta focus on your senior year and I gotta focus on all this college stuff, you know? It’s not gonna work out.”

“How can you possibly know that, P?” Azzi shakes her head, trying to clear the ringing from her ears. “How can you know that?”

Paige is crying now, Azzi can see the tears falling no matter how furiously Paige tries to wipe them away. “I just know, okay? I can see it. Look, I already figured it out—this is what we both need. Trust me, okay?”

Azzi blinks away the tears that are spilling over, scoffing incredulously, “So it’s over, just like that, huh? You don’t even want to try? Don’t even want to try to fight for us?”

“Azzi, come on, that’s not fair—”

“Not fair? You wanna talk about what’s not fair?” Azzi gestures wildly, her hands moving without thought. “How about you not even letting me be part of this decision. Did you ever even stop to think about what I wanted?”

“Azzi, I did. I—”

A car horn blares incessantly from the driveway. “Paige, in the car! Now!”

“Man, would you hold on a minute?” Paige yells back, her voice cracking.

Azzi isn’t normally an angry person, not in the slightest. But in this moment, she feels her sadness snowballing into fury so quickly that she can’t stop it.

“You couldn’t have fucking done this earlier, Paige? Just had to wait until the last second, huh?”

“Azzi, I’m sorry. God, this is so fucking hard. But I swear, it’ll be good for us.” Paige takes a step forward, moving like she’s going to reach out to Azzi before dropping her hand and balling it into a fist at her side. “We can still be friends. I mean, I still wanna be friends. That’s okay, right?”

Azzi actually spits out a laugh at that, feeling the blood rush to her head. “Yeah, sure. Friends.”

“I mean we did it before, didn’t we? Like five years or somethin'?”

Memories flood Azzi’s mind then, not of just the past two years they have been—had been—together, but all those years before that. The first day they met out on the basketball court after school. The endless summer nights at the park, the sleepless sleepovers, the bike rides across town for ice cream on a muggy day like today. The onset of feelings, the brushing of hands, the blushing of cheeks. The joint family holidays, the secret looks shared across the room, the hands held under the table. The first kiss at the state fair, the first time after prom, the first “I love you” whispered in the dark, the first moment of knowing what it felt like to be falling in love.

All those moments, all those memories, usually so bright and airy as they float across her mind, now swirl into a vortex, leaving Azzi with a bitter taste in her mouth.

I just want all of you, she thinks. I don’t know how I can live with just part of you knowing what it feels like to have it all.

The anger finally gives way, allowing the sadness to settle over her once again. “I don’t know, P. I really don’t know. I—I’m sorry, I don’t think I can be around you and just forget about everything I feel for you.”

Paige closes her eyes, rubbing a hand across her forehead.

“Paigey?” a third voice calls out tenatively from the hallway.

Azzi turns to see Drew standing in the doorway, playing with his hands. “Dad said we need to leave now.”

She hears Paige sigh and turns back around toward her. She’s giving Drew a small smile. “Okay, buddy. Tell ‘em I’ll be right there. Wanna take this to the car for me?” she asks, pushing her last suitcase forward.

Drew runs over and starts pulling the luggage out of the room, struggling to move it given that it’s about as big as him. “I gotcha, Paigey.”

Paige is talking as soon as he rounds the corner out of the room. “Azzi, I’m really sorry. I gotta go. Maybe we’ll see each other over winter break. That’ll work, right? You gon’ be okay?”

Maybe things could be fine. Maybe it’ll be just like Paige said.

Maybe it’s for the best.

Maybe if she tells herself that enough times she’ll actually believe it.

She tries to clear her head, tries not to read too far into the conversation.

But Azzi, ever the overthinker, is already reading between lines that haven’t even been drawn.

You’re not enough for her.

You’re holding her back.

She just wants to be free from you.

“I’ll be fine,” she hears herself say, her voice wavering. “Just—please just go, Paige.”

The look Paige gives her is skeptical, but there just isn’t time to say how she really feels. There never will be.

Paige glances around the room, seemingly doing a double-check for all of her things before her eyes settle on Azzi one last time. She looks like she’s debating something in her head before she leans over and presses a featherlight kiss to Azzi’s temple.

Azzi tries to swallow back a cry, tries to keep her legs from giving out, tries to stop her wildly pounding heart from fracturing into two.

Paige pulls back after what feels like an eternity, eyes still glossy with tears, and trails her hand against Azzi’s cheek.

And then she’s brushing past her and out of the room without a word.

*****

Paige has been many things to Azzi over the years – a high school rival, an acquaintance, a teammate, a best friend, a girlfriend.

Her second half.

Azzi never really considered that she’d have to add another word to that list: her ex.

But as she watches Paige’s car back out of the driveway and out of her life, Azzi wonders if she should’ve seen this coming.

And for the first time in her life, she’s dreading the next time she’ll have to see her again.

*****

paige 💗: i'm so so sorry azzi

paige 💗: didnt wanna hurt you. i rlly didn’t, thought this would be better. for both of us

paige 💗: ion want this to be goodbye azzi

paige 💗: we can be friends i swear

changed user’s contact name to “p”

*****

p: uconn is rlly cool az

p: the team the school all of it

p: youll love it here i know it

p: maybe i can call and tell you bout it sometime if thats somethin you want

p: just lmk i guess

*****

p: az

p: it’s been 2 months

p: i miss my best friend. i miss you.

p: i’m sorry

p: i dunno what to say

p: you don have to say anything back. i get it

p: just hope youre ok

*****

p: happy birthday az!!

p: i know we not rlly talkin but just want you to know im thinkin bout you

p: hope your day is good. you deserve it

changed user’s contact name to “p (IGNORE)”

*****

8 missed calls from “p (IGNORE)”

p (IGNORE): azzi pick up

p (IGNORE): i saw the live

p (IGNORE): maryland?? rlly ???

p (IGNORE): what bout uconn?? us playin together? thats what it was always gonna be

p (IGNORE): i know i fucked up i know but pls think about this

p (IGNORE): fuck azzi fuck

*****

p (IGNORE): imma leave you alone

p (IGNORE): im sorry again

p (IGNORE): good luck. jus w everything i guess

p (IGNORE): damn. never thought id say that to you

p (IGNORE): fuck

p (IGNORE): bye azzi

[imaginespazzi]

Part 5: The Answers We Wait For

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12

I'd go back in time and change it (but I can't)

(In which a writer's busy schedule somehow still had time for her favorite obsession)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining

Words: 7.0K (it's very on-brand that my busiest week would produce the longest chapter)

TW: Swearing (I think that's it?)

A/N: Happy Monday lovelies :) How I managed to pull this off is between me and God at this point but here we are. I know it's been an interesting day to say the least, so I'm hoping me living up to my promises can be a silver lining. Quick note that I already fucked up the timeline at some point and Paige Olivia have actually been divorced for almost 3 years. I'll change that eventually. I actually didn't even try to really edit this chapter and in the choice between editing tomorrow and giving it to y'all today, I chose the latter. So please help a girl out and point out my typos/mistakes if you spot them and I will also eventually go back and edit. As always, let me know what you liked, what you disliked and anything you'd like to see going forwards. Have a lovely week my loves <3

December 2027

Marriage and weddings had never been at the forefront of Paige’s mind. To be completely honest, for most of her life, there wasn’t much occupying her brain other than the court under her feet and the basketball in her hands. But the couple of times she had let herself picture it, she’d always thought that she’d have a Fall wedding, probably in Minnesota, maybe even on a basketball court. An indoor winter wedding in Texas had never once crossed her mind. She’d imagined vibrant fun bouquets made of pink lilies and purple hydrangeas, not the elegant red and white roses arrangements that were currently being placed along a far too heavily decorated aisle. Instead of vintage wines and carefully constructed fancy cocktails, she’d thought it would be nice to have spiked shirley temples and maybe even blue and white jello shots. She had expected to have a quiet ceremony followed by a vivacious gathering of everyone she loved. It had never even occurred to her that her wedding would become a public spectacle with People's magazine in attendance.  She’d pictured a party, not an event. 

Most of all she’d dreamt of getting married to a girl with dark eyes that could see all of Paige’s flaws and a soft smile that promised she’d love Paige despite them all. 

But the thing about dreams is that they’re fleeting trains that travel through the tracks of your mind when you’re asleep, and when you wake up, reality is nothing but a devastating train crash. 

Paige sighs, forcing herself out of her own head, as she stares at her reflection in the mirror. She looks pretty. Brittany had found her a nice white wedding suit -fitted to perfection- matching it with dainty silver jewelry. Paige normally liked her outfits a little looser but Olivia loved it and Paige likes that Olivia loves it. Her hair is styled in a bun, with two straightened strands to highlight her face. She thinks she might have preferred to have them curled in the front but Olivia had sweetly insisted on them being straight because hers would be curly and they had to complement, not match. Paige doesn’t really understand the difference or the importance but she thinks if Olivia wants it like that then she's fine with it. She thinks the bold red lipstick heavily coating her mouth makes her look a little bit like a vampire out of a badly directed 90’s horror movie but Olivia had said it was necessary so that the lights and cameras didn’t wash her face out. 

Paige looks pretty. She just doesn’t really look like Paige. 

“What do you think Drewski?” she asks, twirling to face her stone-faced brother who’s sitting on the couch, with a bout of enthusiasm that rings hollow to her own ears, “do I look gorgeous or what?”

“You look weird,” Drews says stiffly and Paige sighs. 

“Dr-” Paige is cut off by her younger brother sauntering over. A confused expression spreads over her features as Drew takes her hand and places it on his forehead, “uh- what are you doing?”

“Paigey, doesn't my forehead feel hot? I feel so sick,” the little boy whines, letting out a series of overzealous dramatized coughs. 

“Your forehead feels fine,” Paige says, slowly removing her hand.

“Well of course you’d think that. You’re not a doctor who knows how to feel foreheads correctly. I think we need to go to the hospital to see a real doctor. Like right now,” Drew pulls at Paige’s hand as she begins to catch onto what he’s trying to make happen. 

“You’re fine Drew.”

“I’m NOT. I’m very, very, very sick. So we have to leave right now. I could be contagious. I could be a danger to all these people,” Drew’s animated hands start to fly everywhere, “you can’t get married when your little brother’s sick. It’s- it’s just wrong. Bad juju or something like that. Everybody will understand that you just had to call off the wedding. For family reasons.”

“Drew-” Paige tries again, a hard pit settling in her stomach. 

“Are you worried cause you didn’t bring your car? That’s okay I’m sure Ice or KK will drive us but you can’t get married today Paigey. You just can’t,” his bottom lip trembles as the façade of illness slips and Paige feels her own eyes start to get glossy, “it’s not right Paigey. This is all wrong. She’s all wrong.”

“It’s not like that Drew. You just haven’t gotten to know-”

“I don’t want to know her,” Drew yells, “you don’t even know her. How can you get married to someone you’ve barely dated for a year. How can you do this to Az-”

“That’s enough,” Paige’s voice is eerily calm, as she digs her fingernails into her palm, “watch how you talk to me-”

“You’re being stup-”

“Drew Thomas I am not going to repeat myself again. Behave yourself. You’re not nearly old enough to be questioning what I do with my life,” it takes every inch of self-control Paige has to not let her voice shake. 

Her younger brother’s words feel like acid rain pelting against her already wounded skin. They slip into the gashes, mixing into her bloodstreams to create an army with the battalion of her own thoughts that have been hacking away at her heart for god knows how long. Paige wonders how long it’ll be before she finally bleeds out. 

“Please don’t get married Paigey,” Drew pleads, gripping his sister’s hand, “please.”

There’s nothing but silence as Paige opens and closes her mouth. And she doesn’t know if she’s trying to get words out or breathe air in; all she knows is that Drew might be squeezing her hands, but it feels like someone is strangling her lungs. 

She’s saved from having to say anything by a hesitant knock on the door. As Drew begrudgingly goes to open it, Paige scrambles to put herself back together. She closes her eyes, taking in three deep breaths before-

Drew gasps and Paige’s eyes fly open. With her back turned to the door, she can’t see who it is and something like hope starts to bloom in her chest, vines of maybe it’s her weaving through her ribcage. And as she turns around, they turn to dust; dust that floats up to her eyes and makes them tear up again as she stares dumbfoundedly at the two people standing somewhat awkwardly in her doorway. 

Paige had grown up an independent child. It wasn’t that her parents were neglectful or that they hadn’t loved her enough because they had. But at first it was the constant fighting and then it was the nurturing of a brand new family with new children and Paige had slipped through the cracks of oh she’s so mature we don’t need to worry about her. She had always had her parents as cheerleaders in the stands; no one was prouder of Paige than they were. But no one had bothered to force her to drink terrible tasting immunity boosters. No had patiently dyed her hair purple and pinky promised to like it even if it turned out terrible. No one had yelled at her for being in the gym till one a.m or woken her up at an ungodly hour to run drills. Not until she’d met a girl at 15 and that girl’s parents had decided that Paige was just as much theirs as their own daughter. 

And suddenly there were more people added to her cheering squad for her wins. But that’s not when Paige fell in love with Tim and Katie Fudd. It was when she lost and there was a nagging finger followed by a full breakdown of what she could do better next time and finally, a bear hug promising they’d help her do it. They’d been there every step and she’d sent the invitation, scared they wouldn’t show up, that they wouldn’t be there for this step, a step that inadvertently took her further away from them. But here they are anyway. 

“Hi sweetheart,” Katie says softly, her own eyes moist as she takes in the sight of the bride, “you look- you look absolutely stunning Paige.”

“You came,” Paige whispers, “I didn’t- I didn’t know if you would.”

“Of course we came,” Tim exclaims but his normal boisterous voice doesn’t feel nearly as enthusiastic, “always told you we’d be front and center at your wedding.”

Because I was supposed to marry your daughter; I was supposed to become your daughter, officially. 

“I’m really glad you guys came,” Paige says, letting Katie wrap her into a warm hug. She only gets a second to let herself enjoy it before Drew’s asking a question that makes her stiffen. 

“Where’s Azzi?” 

It’s like there’s lightning wrapped in that one syllable and it strikes right through Paige’s heart, setting every inch of it ablaze with the flames of a name that used to feel like cotton candy on her tongue; now it feels like lava. 

“She couldn’t make it,” Tim says slowly and Paige knows she shouldn’t be surprised, let along disappointed that her ex wasn’t coming but there’s a string that snaps anyways. 

“Why not?” Drew asks petulantly. 

“The baby’s due next month,” Tim tells him gently, “she can’t fly.”

The air feels suffocating at the mention of the baby. She’d been scrolling mindlessly through her tiktok feed when the announcement had popped up. She still has it memorized. 

Golden State Valkyries superstar shooting guard Azzi Fudd announces pregnancy on Instagram; she’ll miss the upcoming WNBA season. 

For a moment the world had stopped as Paige had hurriedly switched apps to instagram. And there it was. A smiling picture of Azzi holding a sonogram. Paige doesn’t know how long she’d stared at the picture but she remembers that it was set against a white background and she remembers that Azzi was wearing a green top. And as she’d typed out a congrats! that blended in seamlessly with all the other felicitating comments on the post, Paige had wondered if Azzi had felt it too. She’d wondered if, when Azzi had left a similar congratulations <3 post on Paige’s engagement announcement, she’d felt something unravel too. She’d wondered if Azzi had felt this hollowness of and i guess this is us signing off on never getting forever with each other. 

“So Azzi’s not going to stop this wedding?” Drew’s voice is dangerously even as he rounds on Paige, “and you’re really going through with this?”

“Drew please” Paige says tiredly as Katie runs a soothing hand down her back. 

“You’re stupid. And she’s stupid. You’re all so freaking stupid,” Drew bursts out, stomping past the adults in the doorway, his anger palpable in every single word. 

“I got it,” Tim says, wrapping a wrist around Paige’s hand as she moves to follow her younger brother. He squeezes gently, a half-hearted smile on his face, “it’s gonna be okay kid. It always is.”

Paige wishes she could just believe him, turn off the voices in her head and just be a kid who could take an adult’s word as gospel. But Paige is the adult now and believing no longer comes so naturally. 

“Hey,” Katie says after Tim runs after Drew, pulling Paige to sit with her on the couch, “I have a little wedding gift for you.

“Katie you don’t have-” Paige begins, watching as the older woman pulls out a velvet box from her bag, placing her phone on the table next to her. 

“Oh hush. I told you I’d give this to you,” Katie chides as she hands the velvet box. Paige’s eyes glisten as she opens it to find a familiar purple amethyst necklace. She’s flooded with the vivid image of her and Azzi on a random day in lockdown helping Katie organize her minimal jewelry. Paige had fallen in love with this necklace and Azzi had her eyes set on a pink topaz. It was fitting to say the least and Katie had promised them, with a glint in her eyes, that she’d give it to them as their something old on their wedding day. They’d been in between something and everything but Paige and Azzi had shared a shy smile over it anyways. 

“I can’t accept this,” Paige shakes her head trying to hand the box back but Katie dodges it expertly. 

“Yes you can. It’s basically a family heirloom and you, Paige Bueckers, are family,” Katie says firmly. 

“Katie-”

The older woman presses a kiss to Paige’s forehead as she starts to head out, “you’re always gonna be family Paige. Always.”

Katie’s words act like a band-aid but they’re not enough- maybe nothing will be enough- to fully heal the wound of today i was supposed to officially become a Fudd. 

A ringing noise interrupts Paige’s pity party and she starts half-heartedly digging around for her phone. She’s confused when she finds it because no one’s calling her and the room is still vibrating with noise. Crinkling her eyebrows, Paige’s eyes finally land on the couch side table, where Katie’s phone, clearly forgotten, is buzzing. 

Azzi’s CallerID flashes on the screen. 

Paige stares at the phone, rooted in place. She knows she shouldn’t pick it up, knows she should go return it. Still without a decision, Paige slowly starts to reach for it. And then it stops ringing and Paige goes still again, unsure if she’s relieved or disappointed. Swallowing, she takes another step. The phone rings again. A myriad of thoughts dance through Paige’s mind, opposing thoughts clashing with each other and making her head hurt. She lies to herself that it’s out of concern; that Azzi’s pregnant and this could be important. She lies to herself as she hits the green answer button that it’s not because she’s desperate to hear Azzi’s voice. 

“Mom?” Azzi sounds distraught when she picks up but Paige thinks it’s still her favorite sound any way, “Mom? I think I did something wrong. I can’t do this Mom. You’ve been gone a day and I’ve already fucked up. I don’t know what and I don’t know when but I think I fucked up. Maybe I ate something I wasn’t supposed to. Maybe it’s because I lay on my back instead of my side but Mom she hasn’t kicked all day and I can’t get Dr. Myers on the phone and I-”

“It’s a girl?” Paige breathes out. And suddenly she’s 22, sitting in a UConn apartment living room, grinning foolishly as Jana points out an AI picture that looks like the perfect mixture of her and Azzi. Azzi, who’s having a daughter. 

The woman in question is quiet and for a second Paige thinks that Azzi might hang up. 

“It’s a girl Paige,” Azzi says finally. 

“Are you- are you okay?” Paige asks slowly, trying not to dwell on how much she’s missed the way Azzi says her name. It’s been Bueckers every time they’ve seen each other this year and she’s never hated the sound of her last name more. 

“Yeah, I just-” Azzi sighs, her voice still a little frazzled, “I’m just being paranoid cause my Mom’s not here and my doctor’s not answering and the stupid baby hasn’t kicked all day,” she pauses, “sorry. I-I don’t mean to dump on you. Not today at least.”

“Az-”

“Where’s my Mom?”

“She- she’s probably outside. Think she left her phone here by accident. I can go find her but can I-” Paige hesitates, chewing at her lips in a way she knows Olivia hates, “can I help?”

“I don’t think-”

Paige shocks herself with her next words, “put the phone to your stomach.”

“What? Paige, did you hit your head in the last two seconds or something?”

“Just- just trust me,” she’s not really sure what she’s saying but now that she’s said, might as well commit to the bit, “I’mma talk sense into her. I saw it in a movie.”

“You saw it in a-” Azzi sighs and Paige can practically picture her rolling her eyes.  “I don’t know who’s more insane. You for coming up with the idea or me because I’mma follow through it,” there’s a bunch of static noise on the other side as Azzi adjusts herself, putting the phone on speaker and pressing it to her belly, “alright Dr. Bueckers work your magic.”

Paige is nervous as she speaks, “hey there little bean. I’m your-” she stops because what is she, “I’m your Paige,” she decides softly, “and I think- I think you should stop stressing your Mama out. She’s a bit of an overthinker so if you could just help her out, I think she’d really appreciate it. Because if- if you don’t she isn’t gonna be able to sleep tonight and you don’t know this yet but when your Mama doesn’t get sleep, she’s kind of a bi-”

“Paige,” Azzi hisses.

“Big baby,” Paige corrects, “she’s a big baby. And then she cries and it’s not a pretty sight-”

“Hey!”

“Sshhh Azzi I’m working my magic,” Paige scolds, “where was I? Oh yeah. She cries and it’s not a pretty sight because,’ her voice softens, “seeing your Mama cry is the worst thing in the world. I hate it and I know- I know you’re gonna hate it too because when you finally come out little bean, the first thing you’re gonna see is your Mama’s smile. And you’re gonna think it’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Just like I do,” a sob escapes on the other end of the line and Paige feels tears start to cascade down her own cheeks, “come on little bean, give us a little kick. Make your Mama smile.”

Time ticks by slowly and Paige closes her eyes, thinking maybe her desperate attempt to keep Azzi on the line had failed miserably. And then Azzi gasps, “she kicked. Oh my god Paige she kicked.”

Paige’s grin stretches her whole face and for a second it almost feels like she’s right there with Azzi, that instead of her ear being pressed to a phone, it’s pressed to Azzi’s belly. For a second she almost feels like she can feel the baby kicking. And then she opens her eyes. 

“Did it make you smile?” 

“Yeah, yeah it did,” Azzi admits and Paige can hear the relief in her voice. 

“I’m glad- I’m glad you have something that makes you smile.”

“Do you?” Azzi sucks in a sharp breath, “do you have someone that makes you smile?”

“Yeah, yeah I do,” and it’s not a complete lie. Olivia does make Paige smile. And maybe it’s not quite as big or bright or real but at least Olivia’s here to try. 

“Good. I-I’m also really glad you have that.”

“You are?”

“Of course I am Paige,” Azzi says quietly, “I want you to smile. I just- I just want you to be happy. Are you happy Paige?”

“I’m getting married today,” Paige says in lieu of an answer and she can hear Azzi’s breath hitch. 

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It is. It’s a yes or no question,” Azzi presses.

“Then you answer it Azzi,” Paige bites out, “are you happy?”

“I”m-,” the younger girl lets out a sigh, “I’m content.”

Her answer makes Paige’s skin itch with irritation and she can’t stop it from seeping into her next question, “so you have no regrets then?”

“I didn’t say that,” there’s a warning edge to Azzi’s voice. 

“Do you or do you not regret saying no to marrying me Azzi?” Paige asks, unable to hold it in any longer. 

“Paige-”

“What? You gonna say it’s not that simple? It’s a yes or no question Azzi,” Paige mocks. 

“That’s not it-”

“Then what is?”

“You’re getting married Paige,” Azzi yells, “you’re getting married,” she repeats again, softer this time, “to someone else. And so it doesn’t matter how I feel. It isn’t fair of you to ask and it wouldn’t- it wouldn’t be fair of me to answer. Not today. Maybe one day- one day it'll be the right time but not today.”

“And what if it’s never the right time?” 

“Then maybe it’s a question you were never meant to know the answer to.”

There’s something final in the quietness that follows, like they’re having a moment of silence at a funeral for what never even got to be. 

It’s Azzi who speaks first. 

“You’re gonna be a wonderful wife P.”

“You’re gonna be an amazing mom Az.”

They let it left unsaid that they were supposed to be wives to each other, that they were supposed to be moms together. 

***

March 2033 

Paige doesn’t know how long she stands outside, staring down the winding road that had taken Stephie and Azzi away from her. The neighborhood is slowly waking up and if the woman across the street opens her curtains and thinks it’s a little strange that her new neighbor is standing like a statue on her front porch, she only raises a slight eyebrow before going back to her day. It takes almost twenty minutes before her head finally convinces her heart that no matter how much she stands outside, they’re not coming back. 

There’s a part of her that can admit that maybe Azzi had a point and maybe she shouldn’t have asked her to stay over last night. But Paige has never been known for her common sense, especially not when it comes to Azzi. Because truth be told, asking Azzi to stay the night was perhaps the least ridiculous of the thoughts that had invaded her mind last night. It was easy- too easy- to fall right back into whatever with Azzi. She’d done a good job pretending that the nightly facetime calls had been for Stephie’s benefit but the truth is that they had become just as much a necessity for Paige. She’d fallen asleep with a smile on her face every night and the temptation to have that in person last night had been too hard to resist. And so she hadn’t. 

She makes it about three steps up the stairs, when the fort still set up in the living room catches her eye. And that’s when the first tear falls, and then the second and then the third until she thinks if she tried to swim in them, she’d probably drown. Paige abandons the idea of going up to her room and crawls back into the tent made of blankets. And she must be going insane because she swears she can still smell the faint scent of a toddler and Azzi’s lavender perfume on the pillow she cradles to her chest. It’s ridiculous to be so attached already. She knows that. Stephie isn’t hers but it feels like the little girl has crept underneath her skin, burrowing herself in a part of Paige’s heart that the blond didn’t even know was there. And Azzi- well no matter how long it’s been, no matter how much resentment Paige has held, the truth is that there’s a little patch of Paige’s soul  that will always belong to the younger woman. 

Paige barely registers herself falling asleep until there’s abrupt knocking on her door and she realizes she’s been cocooned in the fort for almost three hours. She hesitantly lets go of the pillow, groggily walking towards the door. It’s useless to pretend that she isn’t hoping it’s Azzi and Stephie on the other side, isn’t hoping that Azzi had realized her mistake, isn’t hoping to scoop both of them into her arms and fill the hollowness that’s been thrumming against her ribcage. God Paige has barely survived a month -a day if she’s completely honest- she doesn’t know how she’s going to survive this whole season. 

She crosses her fingers behind her back as she opens the door. 

“Hey,” Katie’s smiling face looks back at her, holding up a tray of coffee and a bag of something, “figured you haven’t eaten breakfast yet?”

Paige blinks stupidly as Katie lets herself in, moving through Paige’s house with ease and immediately locating the kitchen. She hands Paige a cup of coffee before ransacking through the bag and pulling out a glazed donut, “eat. I know you haven’t.”

“Does Azzi know you’re here?” Paige asks slowly before taking a bite out of her donut. 

Katie gives her pointed look, “who do you think gave me your address?”

“Is she- is she okay?” 

“You two are something you know,” Katie shakes her head, “you’re asking me if she’s okay and she sent me over here to make sure that you were okay.”

Paige feels her heart swell with after all this time, “she sent you?”

“I have breakfast with Azzi and Stephie every Sunday morning. Now imagine my surprise when I get there today and my oh so sweet and wonderful granddaughter isn’t talking to her mother. And so I forced the story out of Azzi and I barely understood a word she was saying through her tears-”

“She was crying?” Paige feels her lungs constrict. 

Katie shoots her an unimpressed look, “can I finish the story?”

“I don’t like this story. It has Azzi crying.”

“Yeah well the two of you seem to enjoy doing that to each other,” Katie cocks an unamused eyebrow and Paige flinches at the truth of it, “anyways I didn’t understand much of it but she was clear by the end. Seemed to think you needed someone, needed me and so here I am Paige.”

“Why is your daughter like this?” Paige demands, “how is she gonna make me cry and then send somebody else to wipe my tears.”

“Well I can leave-”

“Why couldn’t she just have stayed?” the blonde questions, “why does she always have to overthink things and make it more complicated? Why can’t she just listen to her heart once in her fucking life? Why can’t she just let herself live? Why is it always no with her and never just yes?”

Katie gives Paige a sad smile, reaching for her hand, “that’s why.”

“Please don’t speak in riddles. It’s 10 a.m and I’m sad,” Paige whines. She might be in her early thirties but there’s something about Katie Fudd that makes Paige feel like it’s okay to be a bit of a child.

“Why is it always no with her and never yes?” Katie repeats, “c’mon Paige you know that’s not about last night.”

“It is,” Paige argues stubbornly. 

“It’s not,” Katie says, gently squeezing Paige’s hand, “it’s about her saying no 8 years ago.”

“I’m ov-” Paige stops, withering under Katie’s glare, “okay maybe it’s a little bit about her saying no 8 years ago. But I’m allowed to still be upset about it. She broke my heart. I wanted forever and she walked away. I’m allowed to be mad about that.”

“Of course you’re allowed to be mad Paige but that’s exactly why Azzi had to go this morning. And it’s exactly why you shouldn’t have asked her to stay last night. You guys can’t just pretend none of it happened because it did. You’re still hurt Paige and ignoring that is gonna get you guys nowhere. Especially with Stephie involved.”

“So what are you saying? You’re saying me and Azzi should just be teammates? You’re saying I should just never see Stephie again,” even the thought of it makes Paige feel like she is laying down on a bed of thorns. 

“You’re so goddamn dramatic Bueckers,” Katie rolls her eyes, “I’m not saying any of that. I’m saying maybe you just need to take it slower, with both of them, instead of having a goddamn sleepover the literal first night you’re in the same city. Besides,” Katie gives her a knowing smirk, “my granddaughter is obsessed with her Miss Buecks. Pretty sure she’d find a way to see you again no matter what.”

“Good,” Paige lets out her first smile of the day, “because I’d find a way to see her again too. She just- she’s kinda great isn’t she? Azzi did a good job with that one. She’s- she’s perfect,” she looks at Katie who’s regarding Paige with a thoughtful expression, “what? Do I have donut glaze on my face?”

“No, no it just- I’ve seen that expression before.”

“What expression?”

“The one you just had on your face while talking about Stephie,” Katie laughs to herself, “it’s the same one Tim had when he first met Azzi.”

***

“Oh my god. It’s Paige Bueckers. Can I have your autograph?” Steph Curry winks at Paige as she walks into his office. The Golden State legend had started an after-school basketball camp for kids in the Bay Area and as soon as he’d heard the news of Paige coming over to the Valkyries, he’d messaged her if she’d be interested in helping him out in the off-season. Paige had been more than willing to be a part of it, always invested in giving back to her community. If she’d been excited by the idea before though, today, after the worst sleep of her night as she tossed and turned to the hopeless depression of not having spoken to Stephie and Azzi for far too long, Paige really needed this distraction. 

“Don’t think you can afford my autograph,” Paige smirks lazily as she basically droops into the seat opposite him. 

Steph laughs goodnaturedly, “welcome to the Bay Area kid.”

“I’m a little old to be called a kid don’t you think? I’m nearly 25,” Paige grins, wiggling her eyebrows.. 

Steph shakes his head, “nah you’re always gonna be a kid to me. You and Azzi both,” he chuckles to himself, “even though Azzi’s got her own kid now. Have you met her?”

Well that distraction lasted 30 seconds, Paige thinks to herself as she forces a smile onto her face, “yeah. I’ve seen her around.”

“She’s cute as hell right? And she knows it. Little miss bossy pants has everyone wrapped around her fingers. Kinda reminds me of Riley,” there’s a goofy expression as Steph thinks of his daughter and Paige wonders if the same one is reflected on her face as she thinks about Stephie, “and she’s a natural at basketball. Only five and her shot’s already pretty good. You’ll see it today when she comes to camp. And she’s pretty good at defense-”

“I’m sorry what?” Paige blinks rapidly. 

“I know. What defense can a 5 year old play but it’s just the way she moves you know?” Steph tries to explain and Paige shakes her head. 

“Not that. Stephie- Stephie’s coming to camp?”

Steph grins large and proud, “of course she is. She was the first camper I signed.”

“Right,” Paige nods, giving the man in front of her a tight smile, “can you- can you excuse me for one second.”

As soon as Paige is outside of Steph’s earshot, she’s calling Katie; Katie who had sat at her kitchen counter yesterday and listened with a smile as Paige told her all about Steph’s camp. Katie who hadn’t said one word about Stephie being a part of said camp. Katie who was maybe grinning just a little too hard at the idea. 

“Did you know Stephie goes to Curry Camp?” Paige asks as soon as the line connects. 

“Hi Katie. Hi Paige. How was your day? Oh mine was good Paige, thanks for asking, how was yours?” Katie replies sarcastically. 

“Katie,” Paige groans. 

“Did I know that my granddaughter goes to her godfather’s special camp for the sport that her mother plays and she’s obsessed with?” Katie says slowly and Paige can tell she’s holding back a laugh, “nope, didn’t have a clue. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“And ruin the surprise?”

“What happened to telling me to take things slow?” Paige hisses. 

“Well if I left the two of you two to your own devices y’all wouldn’t go slow, you wouldn’t even move at all,” Katie defends. 

“So you’re meddling?”

“I am not,” Katie protests, “you were always gonna help with the camp and Stephie’s already been going to the camp. I just didn’t let you stress out about it. Really you should be thanking me.”

“Thank you Katie,” Paige bites out mockingly. 

“You’re so very welcome Paige,” Katie sing-songs, “by the way, come over for dinner soon okay sweetheart. Love you honey. See you later darling.”

She hangs up before Paige can say anything and the blonde saunters back into Steph’s office, trying to corral her facial expression into something more neutral. 

“All good?” Steph asks. 

“Just peachy,” Paige hums in response, “we gonna head over to the court soon? It’s almost 4.”

Steph nods, “yeah they’ll be done setting up for us. Azzi usually brings Stephie to say hi to me right before cause no favoritism in front of the other kids you know? But maybe she’s running la- oh no wait there they are!”

Paige freezes, heartbeat erratic, as Steph walks to the door in anticipation. 

“UNCLE TWIN,” Stephie screams and something in Paige’s heart starts to fix itself at the sound of the younger girl’s voice. She’s scared to turn around, unsure if she’s more scared to realize it’s a dream or find out that it’s reality. 

“TWIN NIECE,” Steph yells back with equal vigor and Paige can hear Azzi’s laugh now too, each giggle acting like a needle, stitching up the parts of Paige that had felt broken since yesterday morning. She turns around deliberately slowly. Stephie is cradled in Steph’s arms and Azzi’s watching them with a fond smile. And it’s ridiculous to be jealous of a happily married man who’s practically Azzi’s brother if not her uncle, but the sense of that should be me, weighs heavily on Paige’s lungs anyways. 

It’s Azzi who sees her first, smile slowly fading as dark brown eyes clash with light blue ones. 

“Paige,” she whispers softly and there’s a multitude of undecipherable emotions wrapped in that one syllable and Paige thinks she could spend forever just trying to uncover them. 

Stephie’s ear perks up at the mention of Paige’s name as her own little eyes finally land on the blonde, shuffling her feet nervously in the corner. Her bottom lip trembles, eyes watering as she forces herself down from Steph’s lap, racing to Paige. It’s instinct the way Paige falls to her knees, ready to catch the bundle of limps that practically falls into her waiting arms. 

“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whimpers, “I missed you so much.”

Paige’s own eyes water as she buries her face in Stephie’s hair, “me too sweetheart. I missed you so, so, so much.”

In front of them, Steph looks beyond confused as to what's happening and Azzi’s determinedly looking away, even if there’s a lone tear waterfalling down her left cheek. 

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Stephie confesses, voice choked up as she tightens her grip on Paige’s neck, “and I begged and I begged Mama to let me call you but she said you were busy. And then I yelled at Mama and it made Mama cry too and I hate making Mama cry.”

“I know. I know sweetheart,” Paige soothes softly, running her hands down Stephie’s back as the little girl continues to babble. They stay like that for a long time and Paige thinks if she could ask the world for one thing that doesn’t belong to her, she’d ask for Stephie. 

Finally Steph coughs, looking apprehensively between the three girls in the room, “so um- I take it you’ve more than just seen Stephie around then Paige?”

Paige lets out a watery laugh, finally letting Stephie go and turning around but still keeping a hand on Stephie’s shoulder, “yeah I guess that’s true.”

“What are you doing here Miss Buecks,” Stephie asks, looking up at Paige. 

“I’m uh- well Mr. Steph-”

“Uncle Twin,” Stephie corrects immediately and Paige can’t help but grin at the nickname. 

“Right. Uncle Twin asked me to be a coach at his camp and I agreed,” Paige explains, trying to catch Azzi’s eyes but the shooting guard seems determined to focus on a picture of Steph and Ayesha on the wall instead. 

“You’re gonna be my coach,” Stephie squeals, turning around to hug Paige’s knees, “this is the best news of my life.”

Paige feels her heart soar into a sky of you’re the best new of my life Stephie as she bends down to kiss Stephie forehead, “let’s see if you say that when I make you run laps after you miss a shot.”

“You wouldn’t?” Stephie says, looking horrified at the idea. 

“I totally would,” Paige teases. 

Stephie is quiet for a second before a proud smirk blooms on her lips, “that’s okay ‘cause I don’t miss. I’m Azzi Fudd’s daughter. Right Mama?”

“Right baby,” Azzi says, finally letting herself meet Paige’s gaze. 

“Well Miss-I-Don’t-Miss, how about you walk over to the court and show us how you don’t miss,” Steph teases. 

Stephie waddles out of Paige’s grip and holds her arms up at Steph, a saccharine smile on her face,“I can’t be tired if I don’t wanna miss Uncle Twin, so can you please carry me over there?”

Steph rolls his eyes but it doesn’t stop him from hoisting Stephie onto his shoulders, “alright your highness, let’s go.”

Stephie’s giggles echoe down the hall as Steph runs towards the courts and Paige can’t help the fond laugh that escapes her. 

“She gets that from you, you know,” Paige says softly to Azzi. 

“Gets what?”

“Being a princess who gets everything she wants.”

“Not everything,” Azzi says wistfully, “not everything I want.”

She moves to start following but Paige wraps a hand around her wrist, “I didn’t know Stephie was a part of Curry Camp. I swear I- I didn’t do this on purpose.”

Azzi sighs, “I know. I know you wouldn’t Paige.”

“And I- I wanted to thank you for sending your Mom yesterday. I really- I really did need it even if I didn’t know it,” Paige’s thumb subconsciously rubs against Azzi’s skin, “but you- you always seem to know what I need.”

Azzi rips her hand out from Paige's grip, “you’re doing it again.”

“I’m not-”

“Yes you are. You keep saying things like that- things you shouldn’t say- things I can’t just listen to and be okay,” Azzi brushes her hand against her face, “I know the way I left yesterday was wrong and maybe I was projecting,” she admits in a whisper, “but you just- you make me feel too fucking much. And it's too quick and it’s scares me.”

“Scares you?” Paige scoffs, “I’m not the one who broke your heart Azzi.”

“You don’t think I know that? You don’t think I’ve lived with that guilt for the last 8 years? Jesus fucking christ Paige. I’m not scared of you. I’m scared of me,” tears stream down Azzi’s face as she paces the room, “I have never heard Stephie cry so fucking much in my life Paige. And you know who did that to her? Me, I did that. Apparently I’m really fucking good at making people cry but I don’t want to. I don’t want to break her heart, I don’t want to break your heart and I don’t want to break my own heart. Not again.”

“Azzi-”

“And so I’m stopping it before it happens. Before I ruin it again.”

Azzi tries to leave again but Paige is faster, wrapping her arms around the younger woman’s waist and pulling her flush against her chest so she can’t escape. It’s a terrible idea because now all of her senses are consumed by Azzi as they both become acutely aware of how close they are now. 

“Paige,” Azzi whispers weakly, one hand pressed right against Paige’s heart, “let me go.”

“I think today’s the right time,” Paige says softly, hands grazing Azzi’s waist, “I asked you a question once and you said one day, when the time was right, you’d give me an answer. It’s the right time.”

“I don’t think so-”

“Azzi please,” Paige begs, “do you regret saying no?”

“Paige let me go,” Azzi wriggles against her grip but it only makes Paige tighten her hold. 

“It’s a simple yes or no question.’

“Stephie’s probably wondering where we are-”

“Then answer the damn question and we can go to her-”

“Paige please.”

“Answer the fucking question Azzi.”

“What do you want me to say?” Azzi bursts out finally, “you want me to say that I’ve never regretted anything more in my life? You want me to say the minute I said no, I wanted to rip out my tongue? You want me to say that I almost called you several times in the last decade to tell you how stupid I was? You want me to say that I flew to Dallas once to tell you that I fucked up but then I saw you with Olivia and decided you deserved better than me-”

“What?”  Paige feels the air being snatched from her lungs. 

“The answer to your stupid fucking question,” Azzi’s voice breaks, “is yes. Yes I regret saying no to you Paige. But it doesn’t matter. Because I said no and you found someone else who’d say yes and now it’s too late.”

And Paige thinks that Katie was probably right, that she should probably take things slow. But when it comes to Azzi Fudd, Paige Bueckers has never been one to do what she should. 

“It’s never too late for us,” Paige whispers before crashing her lips against the woman, who’s always been the reason for her biggest, brightest, most real smile.

[ohmybueckers]

Never Strangers: Chapter 1

Part 1: Prologue

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Mentions of Maya’s dad being a bit of a pos but otherwise none

Note: Finally got this proofread and feel good enough to publish the prologue! There’s going to be a fair bit of jumping back and forth between 2019 and 2023 especially in the first few chapters, but hopefully the transitions between the two will be pretty seamless. I hope every is having a wonderful holiday season!

November 2019

I’m outside, ready when u are

Maya Morgan read the text that illuminated her phone, which was sprawled on her dresser. She huffed as she hurriedly finished the remaining steps of her makeup routine. A couple sprays of perfume, a swipe of chapstick, and a packed purse later, she threw her bedroom door open, calling to her dad and his girlfriend that she would be back before curfew. After taking a moment to mentally prepare herself, she swung the door open and began her battle against the fresh snow in her front yard.

Even after living in New England the majority of her life, nothing could have prepared Maya for her first Minnesota winter. Windchill bit at her exposed ankles as she dashed out the door and across her front yard, cursing herself for not wearing taller socks with her low tops. Her struggle was met with a loud laugh, even as she reached her destination.

“Open the door, Paige!” Maya yelped, earning further roars from her blonde friend. Regardless, the car door unlocked with a pop, which prompted Maya to throw it open, push herself into the passenger seat, and close the door as fast as she could without slamming it.

“There’s no chance you’re from Boston if that is how you react to a little snow.˝ Paige quipped, yet still turning on the passenger seat warmer without needing to be asked. 

"Okay, Boston doesn’t do winter like this," the younger girl groaned in response, throwing her head back against the seat that was slowly rising in temperature. "My dad said to tell you good luck on the game tomorrow, by the way."

There were many things Maya expected when her mom sat her down last January and informed her that her dad would be moving to the suburbs of Minneapolis in May and taking her with him. She expected the pains of adjusting to a new school, and adjusting to living with her dads girlfriend (who loved to parent her despite 1) only meeting her a year ago and 2) being young enough to somewhat reasonably pass as her older sister). What she did not expect was to befriend the top women’s basketball college recruit of her class, famous enough that she received multiple texts from old classmates back home after tagging Paige in a story.

It’s not like there’s any reason why they should have become close - Paige lived a couple suburbs over and went to a different school, outside of which the majority of her time was consumed by basketball. Save for her brief career on her middle school volleyball team, Maya’s main extracurricular of choice had always been mock trial. They could not have led more different lives if they tried. 

Just a week into adjusting to life in Minnesota, however, the Bueckers family invited them to dinner. Maya’s dad and Paige’s dad had apparently roomed together in college and Paige’s father, ever the nice midwestern dad stereotype, had taken it upon himself to welcome his old friend to the state. 

——

May 2019

“So Riley, your dad says that you’re going to be a junior this year.” Paige’s father turned to face Maya at the dinner table, their pasta dinners long finished. “Given any thought to colleges yet?”

“Dad.” The blonde whom Maya had met just twenty minutes ago groaned. She sat directly opposite Maya at the table, making their only interactions up until that point an awkward introduction as the darker haired girl first entered through the door and a series of glances as their parents chatted about their college days. 

Maya didn’t quite know what to make of her yet. She seemed nice, sure, and she was tall, towering over her 5’4 frame. Her dad raved on the car ride over just how good at basketball she was too - number one ESPN recruit who had just committed to the University of Connecticut a month prior. Weirdly enough, it almost seemed like her dad was more aware of Paige’s accomplishments than her own.

“She still has another year before she applies Bob, let her rest.” Paige’s stepmom gently scolded. Her son, who could not have been older than seven years old, sat fiddling with his remaining food beside her, an action she had been trying to correct throughout the meal. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, sweetie.”

Maya shot an appreciative look towards the woman, who returned it with a warm smile. “Um, I’ve been looking into some schools. I should have in-state tuition to U of M by the time I apply. Mom’s still trying to decide if she’s staying in Boston or moving to Stamford, but UMass Amherst is also on the table…”

“Well you know if she does end up moving, you got a built-in tour guide for UConn with this one.” Paige’s dad interjected, nudging at his daughter who looked like she would rather be anywhere but at that table. “Ok, so what about your major…”

“Oh, you don’t need to know that yet!” Paige’s stepmom interjected once more, shooting a sharp look at her husband. 

Truthfully, though, Maya didn’t really mind. College was one of the few things she was sure about those days. “Probably economics and criminal justice, maybe with a business related minor. I want to go to law school after.”

“Oh, we have a lawyer in the house!” Mr. Bueckers exclaimed.

“Hey dad, I was thinking I could maybe drive her around the neighborhood? Show her ‘round?” Paige spoke up, looking to Maya with her eyebrows slightly raised. Though she hardly knew the girl, Maya quickly clocked that look as a lets get out while we can kind of look.

“I guess why wait to be a tour guide when you can be one now.” Mrs. Bueckers spoke, seemingly catching on to their plan. “Go ahead, girls.”

The girls left the table with their plates and a chorus of “thank you”’s, giving each dish a quick rinse before Paige reached for the keys. Once they were in Paige’s car and Maya could reasonably conclude there was no chance of Bob Bueckers overhearing her, she said, “Thanks for the save back there.”

“I remember how stressful those college conversations were. Dunno why my dad seems to love them so much.”

“I really don’t mind.” Maya shrugged, “Sounds like your conversations were an extra layer of awful, though.”

“Wasn’t so bad. Colleges have you visit when recruiting you, basically show you the best parts of being apart of their program. It’s super nice. Then they put you through it after you’ve committed to playing there.” Paige chuckles. “Besides, it was always kinda UConn for me.”

“Same here. Not UConn, but with law. My mom showed me Legally Blonde once when I was ten, and the rest is history.”

They fell into a somewhat uncomfortable silence as Paige backed out of her driveway. Fidgeting with her dark brown hair, she scans the girl next to her. Her mother had practically drilled into her from birth that any event where first impressions were involved warranted dressing up. However, seeing Paige in ripped black jeans, a white tank top, and red sneakers, she suddenly felt a bit insecure about her black skirt and white blouse.

“You want aux?” Paige asked, interrupting the other girls insecurities by handing her the cord. Maya grabbed it, happy for any lifeline out of the quiet atmosphere between her and this girl who she had quite literally just met. The beginning of Jumpman rang through the speakers, prompting the blonde to look at her with curiosity.

“You like Drake?”

She’s acting as if he’s some underground artist, Maya thought with an eyebrow raised. “Who doesn’t?”

As if she could detect some unintended edge in the brunettes voice, Paige quickly attempted to do damage control. “I guess I just didn’t think… never mind. Who else you listen to?”

The next twenty minutes of their drive consisted of Maya shuffling through her “May 2019” playlist, with Paige offering feedback. They watched the sun set as the car was filled with songs from Brent Faiyaz (earning an “Okay, you got taste” out of Paige), Ariana Grande (“7 Rings is fire, I’ll give you that one”), and One Direction (to which Paige said “now you lost me”). 

After around 6 songs, Paige decided that the two of them needed a treat to wash down their dinner and turned into a McDonalds. “Not as good as Culver’s, but it’ll do.”

“What’s Culver’s?” Maya asked. Paige reacted as if she had been shot.

“You’re messing with me, right?” Maya shook her head no, to which Paige’s horror grew only more apparent. “Oh my God, you’re serious?”

“Paige, I moved here like a week ago.” Maya couldn’t help but be amused by just how dramatic Paige was being about this. The basketball star was funny, she would give her that one.

“Still, Maya, that’s insane.” Paige emphasized, surprising the other girl by using her name. Maya decided she liked how it sounded coming from Paige. “Okay, next weekend come back to my place, I’ll take you to Culver’s, and you’ll be happy you moved out here.”

Maya couldn’t help but feel a glow in her chest at Paige’s insistence on seeing her again, a feeling she chalked up to being happy to have at least one friend in this town. 

Not so sure about that, Maya thought, but the sight of Paige’s face and the tone of her voice, so sure of herself, dulled the sting a little. Offering a small smile, she said, “deal.”

——

Maya kept up her end of the deal, and the two of them had been inseparable since. Well, at least inseparable in a metaphorical sense. They had about one month together before Paige left for Team USA training, with Maya leaving for a mock trial intensive program around a week later. They still found ways to bond despite the distance, with Paige practically spamming Maya with Instagram memes in her limited down time, while Maya found a stream to watch her games and texted her thoughts (despite her very limited knowledge of basketball terms - that was an effort Paige was still working on).

Even as school started for both of them, with Paige starting senior year at Hopkins while Maya attempted to navigate junior year at a new school, the two of them always seemed to find time together even when it appeared there was no time to be found, even if it was just Maya helping Paige with her precalculus homework or Paige doing shooting drills at the gym as Maya cheered her on, reading a new case for mock trial in the process. Their dads joked that this was bound to happen, that Paige and Maya were just like them.

I don’t know if my dad felt about Bob the way I feel about Paige, Maya couldn’t help but quip to herself every time her dad would say such a thing.

“I have a good feeling about this season.” Paige spoke, eyes still on the road. “As long as I don’t get some freak illness or injured again, I’ll be straight.”

“You’ll be great. You always are.” Maya turned to look at a home that decided to decorate for Christmas over a month too early, missing the way her friend’s cheeks flushed at the compliment. 

Paige turned into Culver's, a spot that quickly became a go-to for Maya and Paige excursions. The line for the drive through was at least six cars deep, giving the two of them plenty of time to play their favorite game. “If I win this one, we’re getting a vanilla concrete with Oreo.”

“And if I win, we’re getting the Fanta float.” Paige replied with a grin, earning a groan from the dark haired girl in the passenger seat. 

“Paige, that sounds nasty.” Yet she still reached her hand out, the two girls muttering rock, paper, scissors under their breaths before making their decisions. Maya confidently chose rock.

Paige chose paper.

“Lets go!” The taller girl exclaimed with the same vigor as if she scored a buzzer beater. This earned a chuckle out of Maya, dulling the sting of her orange desert fate.

At least this means I get to choose our food, Maya thought. “Ok, we’re getting cheese curds then.”

“A true midwesterner already! They grow up so fast.” Page fake cooed earning her an eye roll from the other girl.

10 minutes later, they sat in the parking lot with Paige working on her Fanta float while Maya stuck to the cheese curds. Though they were fine doing just about anything together, this was their favorite: going to get food, sitting in parking lots and listening to music.

Paige took a sip of her float, immediately after popping a curd in her mouth. The combo prompted a nose scrunch from the basketball player. “You know how much I love cheese curds, but this is kinda a questionable pairing.”

“I think that’s on you.” Maya chirped back. A One Direction song begins playing from the brunette’s shuffled songs, earning an “oh hell nah” from Paige followed by a laugh from Maya. though Paige had been successful in making her tolerate Minneapolis (love was still too strong of a word), she hadn’t reached quite the same results when it came to converting Paige to being a Directioner.

The blonde reached for Maya’s phone in the cupholder in order to change the song, an action that Maya would never think twice about usually. However, at the corner of your eye, she saw Paiges brows furrow slightly. “Jack snapped you again?”

Oh god, my thought. Sure enough, she took a look at her screen, which was illuminated by a notification. It’s safe to say she was not in the mood. “Yeah, I guess.”

Jack and Maya met in AP Chemistry. Somehow, the boy got her Snapchat early on in the semester, taking no time to wait to ask her out. For some reason she agreed, despite not really knowing much about Jack other than the fact that he was on the soccer team and absolutely sucked at chemistry labs (Maya was not completely unconvinced that he wasn’t just trying to get with her for homework answers). 

“This is like the third one in the past 20 minutes.” Maya couldn’t figure out if she was imagining the edge in Paige’s voice or not. “Date went that well, huh?”

If only she fucking knew. “He asked to see me again.” 

“Ah.” Paige wasn’t even trying to hide her annoyance at this point, her response uncharacteristically snippy.

“What?”

“I just didn’t think he was your type. He just seems kinda … flavorless.” Paige dragged the last word out, scrunched her nose as if she smelled something foul. The girl next to her let out a noise in shock, although she was also clearly fighting back a laugh (and losing).

“Oh my gosh, Paige!”

“Sorry!” Paige threw her hands up in defense. “Okay, tell me what you like about him.”

In all honestly, Maya liked that Jack was there. She liked how he went out of his way to get her Snapchat, in a moment where she was looking for any distraction possible from what she actually wanted. She liked how he pursued her so heavily, and she liked the status from it. But when it came time to being alone with Jack, she froze

“You do like him, right?” Paige asked, her voice uncharacteristically serious. Maya really wished she hadn’t.

Paige didn’t need to know that Maya felt more when she received the blondes notification on her phone than when Jack kissed her. Even sitting in a car like this on a Friday night, fast food in hand and listening to music felt more intimate than anything she had felt with guys. Besides, Jack had already asked Maya out again, and Maya declined. Why he was still trying, she had no clue. 

It’s not like other people in her life hadn’t already suspected something else was going on. Even her own mother tried asking if Paige was into girls in an unsubtle way that only nosy parents are capable of. The issue was that Maya didn't know. She didn’t even know if this meant she was gay herself. They never talked about it.

In mock trial, it was basically Maya’s job to know exactly what to say and when. Very few times found her speechless. This was one of those times.

Her lifeline came in the form of the Culver’s employee, pulling Paige away from the interrogation in order to pay for their food at the drive-up window. Despite her attempt to protest, Paige paid for both items, and Maya was hit with the guilt of knowing she was acting this closed off to Paige, the one who she knew cared so deeply for her even if not in the way her heart hoped. This was still her best friend. 

Their silence continues as Paige finds a parking spot. As Maya opens her mouth to apologize, Paige beats her to it. “I shouldn’t have said all that shit about Jack, I’m sorry. If you like him, I support it.”

“You don’t need to apologize. You’re right."

Maybe Maya was imagining things, but she could have sworn Paige’s eyebrows rose with some emotion close to hope. Looking down and fidgeting with her black hoodie, she continued. “I think I liked the idea of Jack more than who he actually is.” 

“Yeah?” Paige edged her on, her voice low, and Maya attempted to ignore how it made her heart beat faster.

“Our date was honestly… really boring. He just started talking about himself and didn’t ask me a thing about myself. He took me to this one part of the park and tried to kiss me, but he just ended up kinda choking me with his tongue. It was awful.”

Maya’s mom always told her she had an issue with rambling, but it was only moments like this word truly hit her. She wanted to slam her hand in front of her mouth if that’s what it would take for her to stop fucking talking about kissing Jack in front of Paige - it felt wrong somehow.

Luckily, Paige seem to find it amusing, as she appeared to be attempting to hide a smile but failing. “Well, I’m glad you realized you deserve better.”

Paige said the next part quietly, almost too quietly to the point where Maya was not sure if it was intended for her ears. “Anyone would be stupid not to treat you well.”

This is so unfair, Maya thought. It’s unfair that Paige could look like this and say things like that and expect her not to fall for her.  She was positive there were plenty of other teenagers in metro Minneapolis that would say the same about the blonde. She could name at least five from her high school alone.

Although the last thing Maya wanted to hear about is if Paige had chosen any of those admirers over her, it was her easiest distraction from the heat rising to her face. “It’s hardly fair that you know all about my love life and I know nothing about yours.”

“Well, I’m basically married to basketball at this point…” Paige chuckled, looking at the roof of her car and tapping her fingers on her knee. If Maya didn’t know the blonde so well, she would’ve thought she was nervous. But that couldn’t be the case - Paige never got nervous. 

“Can I get a serious answer?” The younger girl cursed herself for being so inquisitive. Paige was practically giving her an out from hurting herself and yet here she was, trying to get information she really didn’t wanna know. “That guy that asked you to homecoming, what about him?”

“Sucks for him.” Paige shrugged, though her blue eyes still failed to meet anywhere close to Maya’s face. Casually reaching for the Fanta shake, she added with feigned nonchalance, “Asking out a girl that doesn’t even like guys.”

Oh. Oh. 

“So is there any lucky girls?” Maya asked, knowing damn well that this was going to hurt way worse if the issue wasn’t that she was a girl, but that she was her. 

“Maybe one. I’m not sure.”

“Well, what’s her name?”

“We don’t gotta do that.” Paige sounded playful yet stern, defensive in a way that she hadn’t heard out of the blonde in any scenario other than basketball or maybe disciplining her younger brother Drew. Certainly that tone had never been directed towards Maya.

And yet without thinking, she still pushed. “Oh come on, Paige, why not.” At this point, she was about to ask around the parking lot to see if anyone had duct tape to put over her damn mouth.

“You know why.”

Paige’s eyes finally met hers with a glint of something Maya couldn’t put a name on. All she knew it was sharp enough to look seemingly straight into her. The car filled with silence so quiet that my had no choice but to listen to the top of her own heartbeat and the beginning beats of Exchange by Bryson Tiller. 

And in that moment she realized just what Paige was trying to tell her.

Maya had rehearsed this moment in her head a million times, different scenarios in which Paige may confess her love for her. However, they were always overly exaggerated and entirely unserious, because she could not fathom the idea of it actually being possible for her. Yet here they were, illuminated by the blue Culver sign (perhaps not the most romantic place for this to happen), and for an uncharacteristic second time in one night, Maya was speechless.

Maya could have sat there for the next five minutes and thought of a game plan on what to say. But this was real time, and with each second that passed without her saying anything Paige’s confidence seemed to slip, her head dipping and refusing to look once more.  It broke Maya’s heart, so she blurted out, “What if I do?”

If Maya felt her heart race during other conversations with Paige, this one made her feel as though she was on fire. Especially when she saw the expression on her face after the brunette’s question, curiosity blending into adoration mixing with hunger. A pale hand rose, reaching to brush Maya’s hair away from her face, cupping it in the process. “This okay?”

Maya gulped. She supposed her prayers from earlier have been answered, because she couldn’t speak. All she could offer Paige was a weak nod that she hoped conveyed just how okay this was. 

“What about this?” Page whispered, moving her face dangerously close to hers. Maya closed her eyes, feeling as if she kept looking at Paige she might burst into flames. She could sense Paige get closer, closer, closer, until there was a whisper of a kiss on her tanned cheek. She inhaled sharply, her breath stuttering. 

Logically Maya knew where Paige’s lips would land next. Paige, however, was seemingly taking her sweet time, relishing in the reaction from the girl she had grown to be smitten over the past few months. It was clear that Paige would tease Maya like this for hours if she could. 

Maya was never known for her patience. In a swift mood, almost perfectly timed as Bryson sang “I hope she’s waiting for me”, Maya’s hand met Paige’s cheek, and the two connected.

Maya had only kissed two people prior to this. Her first kiss was at a middle school dance when she was 13, and apparently it was so bad she swore to her mom she would “never kiss a boy again”. As established in the prior conversation, Jack had an affinity for too much tongue. 

Kissing Paige was nothing like kissing either of them. She was soft but not too soft, and her lips tasted like a mix of strawberry Chapstick and a little bit of Fanta slushy. They seem to melt together, as if this could be their last breath and both of them would be equally as content. Paige kissed as if she would hang the moon and the stars for Maya if she could.

When the two finally separated, it took just one glance before the two were smiling. And then, Paige broke, sending herself into a fit of giggles. Maya didn’t know if it was the cutest thing she’d ever seen or if she was offended.

“Did not think I was going to do that tonight.” Okay, cutest thing in the world it is. 

“I’m happy you did.” Maya’s voice came out no higher than a whisper, like Paige truly took her breath away. This statement seemed to bring the blonde back to her usual calm, if not overly confident, self. 

“Oh yeah?” Paige’s smirk was cocky, as if she just won the most important game of the season. In a way she had. 

Paige leaned back in, and the two of them continued kissing surrounded by the glow of the Culver’s sign. Maya weaved a hand gently to brush through the blonde’s hair, earning a content sigh in return.

If Maya knew what was to come of them in a few months, she probably would have savored this moment longer.

[laylaysdelusions]

Waiting room

Paige Bueckers x reader

Plot: the breakup. (Heartbreaking angst)

It’s painful, so fucking painful. 

Paige had left you in the heat of August, to fight for yourself. I mean it wasn’t her fault, it was for the best. You had attachment problems and you were fully aware of that. It was just something you did, you didn’t mean to.

“I’m not good for you honey” she told you as she sat on the end of your floral bed sheets. You knew all six of those words were true but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Days passed and you couldn’t get your bones to move out of their permanent position. It was like time didn’t exist. The wall seemed to the most interesting thing the world had to offer. 

You’d wake up with tears streaming down your face and you’d fall asleep in the same manner. Eventually months began to pass but you still couldn’t function normally. Of course you had to return to work and classes but the world was still black and white. You couldn’t bring yourself to get rid of the pink bear that laid directly in-front of your bed. Paige had gotten you the bear from the Minnesota State Fair and you remembered every painful detail about that day. It was lovely, truly perfect. When did things change? How does time do that? 

It made the light in your eyes die and your heart beat slower. Maybe you were already dead you just weren’t fully conscious of it yet. 

One day in mid October you trembled in the cold as you walked to your psychology class, that’s when you spotted her. 

Paige had her tongue intertwined with a curly headed girl on a campus bench. Right then and there your heart stopped beating. Your mouth went dry and you swear the air stopped circulating through your body. She’s moved on. The sudden realization made you run as fast as you possibly could to class. How you did it? You still have no idea. It was like your existence was nothing but absence. Every noise was just in the background. You couldn’t feel anything but the pounding in your ears. “This is a nightmare you need to wake up.” You told yourself. This can’t be real life, right? Oh but it was. This is something you are going to have to deal with for the rest of your life. 

The next week passes by without a single text message you received being handed a reply. You know your loved ones were very concerned but life had no point without Paige Bueckers. That right there is why Paige left you. Toxic attachment. Everyone that looked at you two could see how the debilitating love was making you worse. Which is more damaging and dangerous, having Paige and being so clingy it would rot away at you or not having her and every step you take being hell?

The consistent cycle of waking up, not caring, crying, putting your AirPods in, going back to sleep, and doing it all over again was the definition of your life. You were merely a shell of the girl you used to be. Nothing more than a zombie trying to hold it together. 

The winter comes faster than you can imagine. Snow falls down at UConn and you have an even stronger reason to cry. It’s down right freezing. 

You have started incorporating your friends back into your life however it’s a tedious process. You still have what feels like an inhalable heartbreak. At least your friends know why now. 

One day you’re sitting in the library with your friend Ariana when you look up to someone clearing their throat. Oh no. 

Paige bueckers stands infront of you.

It all rushes back intensely and you feel your legs go weak. No matter what she’s about to say you’re still gonna love her like a sick puppy loves its owner.

:(

[laurenairay]

Lately you've been on my mind - E. Pettersson

I’m jumping in as a pinch-hitter as part of @wyattjohnston’s winter fic exchange, with an Elias Pettersson story for @typical-simplelove! I really hope you enjoy this Claudia– I had a lot of fun creating something from the prompts you gave me, and I was just so inspired that I wrote it all in one day! And thank you Demi, for being a sounding board for me as I put together my ideas.

Summary: Brock Boeser is the ultimate match maker – he knows he is. And he is determined to set his friends up.

a.k.a. you and Elias are both friends with Brock, and keep finding yourselves in moments alone.

Words: 4.9k

Warnings: idiots to lovers, self-doubt, Brock is a meddler

Title from: Adore you, by Harry Styles

~

2019 was already shaping up to be a fantastic year. The sun was shining brightly, the January air was crisp and cold, and you had Spanish Banks dog park essentially to yourself, seeing that it was excruciatingly early in the morning.

But damn if the views of the North Shore mountains weren’t worth it. Your dog seemed to agree, with the way he was running up and down the sand. You’d lived in Vancouver all your 20 years so far, still living with your parents where you’d decided not to go to university, and it was moments like this that reminded you just how fortunate you were.

Your peace and quiet lasted for all of another half an hour before you heard enthusiastic barking from behind you. Recalling your dog to your side – which only took a couple of attempts, which was an improvement – you turned your head to see what was coming your way, only to freeze at the guy you saw walking towards you.

A guy that was clearly the up-and-coming star of your family’s favourite sports team, the Vancouver Canucks. Brock Boeser, in the flesh.

“Hey, sorry for interrupting your quiet.”

His smile tightened slightly when he realised you clearly knew who he was, with whatever your face was doing, but you quickly shook your head to reassure him. No, he was here just the same as you, to walk his dog. You could be cool with that.

“It’s a beautiful off-leash park – it would be a shame not to share it,” you shrugged, smiling back at him.

Brock immediately relaxed, easy a tension you didn’t realise you had.

“Who’s this beautiful pup, hm?”

“This is Bailey. I’ve had him, like, three months now? He’s only 18 months old so he’s still learning not to jump up, but he tries his best,” you mused.

“He’s perfect…”

Yes, Brock was definitely a dog person.

“…a border collie, right?”

“Yeah that’s right. He was abandoned a few months ago at a shelter my mom volunteers at, and I barely had to beg her to let me adopt him,” you laughed.

Brock just grinned. “Coola was a rescue dog as well. I adopted him back in February last year, after the All Star Game, but he lived in Minnesota with my parents while I finished my rookie year. I know the feeling of not being able to resist a sweet little dog.”

At least he understood.

With a smile, you motioned for Bailey that he was allowed to run again, and within moments Coola was joining him, the two dogs playing in the surf.

“So, you live here then?”

You and Brock walked your dogs for nearly another hour, the two of you talking like you’d known each other all your lives, before Bailey flopped at your feet, a clear sign he was done and ready to leave.

“Looks like that’s my cue,” you said dryly, making Brock laugh.

“Definitely,” he teased, “but hey, maybe we could exchange numbers? I’d love to walk Coola with you and Bailey again, now that I know they’re friends.”

You hesitated slightly, unsure whether he actually meant that, but the earnestness in his eyes told you everything you needed to know.

“Sure, I’d like that. Bailey could use all the friends he could get,” you mused.

Brock just grinned.

“I don’t know, I have a feeling we’re going to be pretty good friends as well.”

~

Nearly five years on and you were (somehow) genuine friends with Brock. He’d been right, against all odds. There was just something about his straightforward friendship that made your life that little bit easier, knowing that you could rely on him to be a breath of fresh air, no drama. And you knew he appreciated your chilled approach to pretty much everything, never judging him, always his biggest supporter – both on the team and for him as a person. Brock Boeser was probably one of the best friends you’d ever had, and you cherished everything about him, like an older brother you didn’t realise you needed.

Brock had always insisted that you needed to be integrated into every part of his life, so you spent more time with his team than you ever thought you would (and hadn’t that been a starstruck moment, when you’d first attended a team gathering). He pretty much brought you to all gatherings, events, and anything to do with Coola (and now Milo), and while at first it had been overwhelming, you’d quickly adjusted when you realised just how ridiculous his teammates were.

So it wasn’t a surprise to Elias Pettersson when he walked into Brock’s house and saw you sitting on the sofa surrounded by dogs.

“Well this looks cosy.”

You grinned at his teasing words, waving him over. “It’s good to see you too, Elias.”

He shared a small private smile with you, lifting Milo’s legs to take a seat on the sofa next to you. The dog in question huffed out his displeasure but didn’t move, allowing Elias to settle in properly.

This guy, more than anyone else, was the teammate you enjoyed spending the most time with alongside Brock. Elias was definitely the most sane of all Brock’s Vancouver friends, and his dry sense of humour always had you in stitches. It was rare that he showed much of himself to anyone, as reserved as he was, but the more you’d gotten to know him over the years, the more you recognised the little signs of his reactions and collated them like hoarded treasure. And the more that Elias had gotten to know you, the more willing he seemed to be to share jokes and smiles and laughter with you, forging a friendship of your own.

And yes, sure, you couldn’t deny that you found him attractive – you’d be crazy or blind to think otherwise - but he’d never shown a hint of interest towards you in that way. And there was no way you’d ever say anything unless you were sure things were reciprocated (there was just no way), so you were more than happy to have him as a friend. Elias Pettersson was an unmistakeable joy in your life, and the last thing you wanted to do was ruin that.

He really was so handsome though.

“I’m surprised Brock isn’t buried under puppies like usual,” Elias said.

“We haven’t been long back from walking the dogs, so I said I’d get them settled while he showered and got ready to head out with you,” you explained, running your hand over your Bailey’s head.

“He does need to look pretty enough to leave the house, that’s true,” he mused.

You couldn’t help but laugh, the both of you knowing Brock needed no help in looking pretty, Elias just smiling widely.

It just goes to show how wrapped up you were in Elias’s attention that neither of you noticed Brock standing at the bottom of the stairs, eyes lighting up at your laughter and Elias’s smile.

~

It was early, far too early, but here you were fulfilling Bailey’s every need. You were wrapped up warm, puffer jacket, woollen hat, gloves, and scarf, walking your border collie through Hadden Park, allowing the travel mug of coffee to wake you up fully while you took in the views surrounding you. Bailey was in his element, trotting about and sniffing every single leaf and twig, and it was only your phone buzzing that broke you out of your silent contentment.

From: Brock Hey, are you walking Bailey?

To: Brock Yeah we’re at Hadden Park Wasn’t sure if you would be getting up early after your game last night so I didn’t text

From: Brock Hah yeah fair enough Do you mind if Petey comes along?

You tried not to fantasise about why Elias was so willing to join you both on a dog walk, so early on a day off. You tried so hard.

To: Brock Of course I don’t mind

From: Brock Of course?

You felt heat dancing across your cheeks. Damn it Brock.

To: Brock You know I think Petey is great.

From: Brock Well I definitely do now.

You groaned, already able to picture the smirk on your friend’s face.

To: Brock Don’t be dumb I’ll see you soon

The last thing you needed was Brock teasing you, especially in front of Elias. The last thing you wanted was Elias to feel uncomfortable around you, just because you find him attractive. The last thing you could bear would be if you lost your friendship with Elias just because Brock was reading into things that weren’t true.

But there was nothing you could do for damage control until Brock was in front of you. All you could hope was that he didn’t make you look like an idiot.

It couldn’t have been more than 20 minutes before you saw the familiar pair walking towards you, dogs at Brock’s side, and you found yourself smiling despite your trepidation. You gave them both hugs in greeting, travel mug long empty and placed in your bag, Bailey barking happily.

“What a beautiful morning,” Brock said happily.

“Cold but beautiful, sure,” you mused.

Elias nodded his agreement, thick scarf wrapped in loops around him, Brock just laughing.

“Petey, you don’t mind taking Coola while I walk Milo, do you?” Brock asked.

Elias narrowed his eyes, as if trying to read into Brock’s words, but Brock just kept smiling at him.

“Sure, I can walk Coola,” Elias eventually said.

“Great!”

The moment that Coola’s leash was in Elias’s hands, Coola darted forward, Elias crashing directly into your body. It was only through his quick reflexes that you didn’t end up on your ass, his hands clutching at your hips while you clung to his jacket.

“Coola! Chill!”

Brock’s giggled words did little to calm his dog down, all three dogs dancing around your feet as Elias steadied you. His face was impossibly close to yours, breath practically mingling. How had you not realised how blue his eyes were before this? His lips were parted slightly, as if he was still processing, but it was only when Bailey bumped into both of your legs that he abruptly let you go, and you dropped your hands too.

“Sorry, sorry,” he blurted, stepping away sharply.

“No apologies needed. It wasn’t your fault,” you said, shaking your head with a weak smile.

“Aww you can’t blame Coola for being excited,” Brock grinned, kneeling down to give fuss to both his dogs.

There was something in his smile that you just couldn’t put your finger on. Hm.

“Shall we walk then, if they’re so excited?” Elias said dryly.

All three dogs started barking at the word ‘walk’, making you laugh and nod, Brock just grinning even wider.

~

From: Brock Petey is taking the roadtrip losses really hard. Come over tomorrow?

~

You don’t know what it was that possessed you, but the moment you received those texts from Brock, you knew you had to do something. Elias was such a stoic guy, so reserved in his emotions, so the fact that it was obvious enough he was suffering that Brock asked for your help? There was no way you weren’t going to do everything in your power to ease any tensions they had, especially Elias.

There wasn’t much you could do, but you could do this.

When you arrived at Brock’s house the next morning, you were only mildly startled to see Elias opening the door instead of Brock, his eyes flashing in surprise before he smiled.

“Did Brock not say I was coming over?” you said hesitantly.

The last thing you wanted was to intrude.

“He said we were going for brunch, but this is a welcome surprise,” Elias said, smiling softly.

Oh. Now you felt stupid.

Wait, a welcome surprise?

“I don’t know what is making your face do that, but I’m not lying when I say it’s good to see you,” Elias said firmly.

“Alright, I believe you,” you mused.

Elias just grinned, walking over to the bottom of the staircase.

“SHE’S HERE!”

“GOOD! YOU’RE COMING FOR BRUNCH, RIGHT?”

You rolled your eyes fondly at Brock’s assumptions. It wasn’t like you had much else planned for today, but still!

“YEAH I’LL COME!”

Elias laughed at your matching volume, making you smile back at him, a light flush dusting across your cheeks. His laugh was magical and you weren’t going to shame yourself for liking it.

“Brock’s just finishing his hair and then he’ll be down. That’s what he said anyway,” Elias explained, sitting down on the arm of Brock’s sofa.

“He’s got an image to maintain, can’t be looking anything less than perfect,” you teased, the familiar joke making you smile.

Elias just snickered, shaking his head. You leaned up against the back of the sofa, standing close enough to Elias that the blue of his eyes was almost hypnotising, before you remembered why you came over in the first place.

“It feels a little silly now, but I heard from a little bird that you were taking things a little rough, so here’s a little something,” you said.

“Brock needs to keep his mouth shut,” he grumbled.

You just laughed, reaching into your bag to pull out the gift. But as you placed it in his hands, Elias froze.

“What’s this?” Elias said, eyes wide in shock.

You bit your bottom lip, before letting out a shaky breath. Here goes nothing.

“You were having a bad day. So I made you a hat,” you said simply, trying to keep your voice light and airy.

“You made me a hat? You knitted this?”

Elias stared down in wonder at the soft light blue woollen bundle in his hand, a look of pure astonishment on his face. It was only then that you realised how close it was to the colour of his eyes.

“Uh, yes, I did? I got back into knitting recently, so it’s nothing fancy, but I just wanted to make something to cheer you up?” you said, trying not to cringe at yourself.

“No-one’s ever done anything like this for me before.”

Your lips parted in surprise at his soft words.

“Really?”

“Really really,” Elias nodded.

“I’ve never had a hat made for me either.”

You flinched at the sound of Brock’s voice coming from behind you, Elias immediately scowling over your shoulder.

“Wouldn’t want to cover up your Prince Charming hair,” Elias grumbled, shoving the hat into the pocket of his hoodie.

You didn’t mention the dark blue hat you’d knitted for Brock that was tucked into your bag. Brock pouted as you snickered, slinking into the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone again.

“Look, I know it’s not really my place. And that we’re just friends because of Brock. But these losses were just a bad blip – you’re going to get over them in no time at all, and be back to destroying the other teams like you were born to,”

Elias smiled wryly. “It doesn’t feel like that right now. But thanks.”

You pursed your lips briefly before huffing out a breath. Telling him what you really thought was hardly the most embarrassing thing you’d ever done.

“You make me so proud. You know that, right?”

“What?” Elias frowned.

“You go out there, every single day, and give this team, this city, your all. Your pour yourself into everything that you do, always give 100%, and as your friend, as someone who has known you for years…I am so proud of you.”

As your cheeks heated from your words, Elias swallowed heavily, a flush dusting across his own cheeks.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this, to deserve your kind words, but I appreciate it. Thank you,” he murmured.

Your heartbeat raced at the intensity in his eyes.

“Brunch? Can we go?”

Elias scowled again at Brock’s grinning interruption but walked away towards the front door. You were read to grumble at Brock yourself, until you saw Elias pull the knitted hat out of his pocket and slide it on over his hair. It looked…perfect.

“Are you good?” Brock asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, I’m great.”

Your voice was far breathier than you would ever admit.

*

Another month, another team event. This time Brock had invited you to be his plus one to a formal gala, hardly the first time he had asked and yet this time he practically begged you to come along. You didn’t need him to beg, you could admit that much – the events were always fun and hey, you got to dress up nicely – but his behaviour was strange, even for him.

Either way, Brock had looked ecstatic when you said yes, even going as buying you a gorgeous midnight blue evening gown, sleeveless and high-necked, as classy as it was beautiful, so you were going to complain. He could have his secrets – you knew you’d get it out of him eventually.

He picked you up after you’d gotten your hair and nails done, make-up subtle but elegant, wide smile on his face as he drove the two of you to the event. You didn’t have time to be suspicious about his good mood as the two of you greeted his teammates and their better halves, your attention consumed by all the cheek kisses and compliments, but you should’ve known he was up to something. Because the moment that the two of you joined Elias at a table with a few chairs around it, Brock all but disappeared, leaving the two of you completely alone.

“Hi Brock. Bye Brock,” Elias said dryly.

“I have no idea what’s gotten into him tonight, I am so sorry,” you sighed.

“Hey, no, don’t apologise for him. I’m sorry that he’s abandoned you already,” Elias said, frowning.

“Well at least I’m near a chair,” you said, huffing out a laugh, “High heels are not my friends.”

Elias immediately pulled a chair out for you to sit on, and you felt a gentle heat brush across your cheeks at the gentlemanly action.

“Thanks Elias,” you said, more shocked than anything.

Not too shocked to smile at him as he sat down right next to you, after picking up a couple of flutes of champagne from a passing waiter. If he wanted to join you…well, you weren’t going to complain. Not if you got his attention all to yourself.

It can’t have been more than an hour before Brock wandered back over, but by the flush on his cheeks and the glassiness of his eyes, he was more than a little tipsy. Damn it Brock.

“You’re not going to ask this beautiful woman to dance, Petey?”

Elias immediately blushed furiously, eyes narrowing at his friend, making you want to die a little inside – but also to shield him.

“Oh no, these heels are killing my feet already. Elias is just being kind enough to keep me company,” you said sweetly.

Brock snickered, shaking his head, but walked away without any further pestering. You both sat there for a moment in silence, reeling from the short conversation. What the hell was that, Brock?

“You didn’t have to make up a lie to defend me,” Elias said, finally looking at you again.

“I wanted to.”

The mortification that filled your body upon your blurted words was immediate and all-consuming, especially with how surprised Elias looked. How could you save this? How the hell could you save this?

“Besides it’s the least I could do for Brock dumping me on you in the first place,” you said coolly, shrugging, trying to calm yourself down and failing miserably.

Elias hesitated before something flashed across his face, and he looked at you with an expression you’d never seen from him before. It made you shiver. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”

Oh.

Oh.

He…really?

You’d spent so long convinced that he didn’t see you that way, that he wasn’t attracted to you in the slightest, and now that he’d said this? Giving you enough to let yourself hope, to admit to yourself that your sweetest daydreams and deepest fantasies could actually be reality?

While your mind raced, full of swirling realisations that perhaps things weren’t so unrequited after all, Elias just watched you, expression just as intense as before. It wasn’t until you let out a shaky breath, smiling a tiny smile at him, that he nodded, clearing his throat.

“Another drink?”

“Yes, definitely.”

*

Movie nights were sacred. It didn’t matter who they were with, not really, but now that you had your own tiny apartment, a night in watching your favourite movies and eating your favourite snacks was always the best way to unwind. Usually Brock was your only companion, or Brock with a few of his teammates, and that was the plan tonight. Brock and Elias were both joining you for a movie night and you couldn’t wait to have a chilled night in with two of your favourite people. Even if your whole world had been shaken up only last week at that eventful team gala.

The pizzas you’d ordered hadn’t long arrived before Elias arrived at your door, beers in hand, and you let him in with a happy smile.

“Thanks for inviting me,” he said, smiling shyly back at you.

Your breath caught in your throat at the sweetness in his face, and you found yourself just nodding.

“You know you’re always welcome. Come on, pizza just got here too.”

Elias all but raced you to the kitchen, making you laugh as he opened the cardboard lids. But your phone buzzed before you could reach for a slice.

From: Brock I can’t make it tonight. Have fun. Both of you.

You heart started racing at his implications, knowing deep in your bones that Brock never intended to come this evening. Had he known all along, how you felt about Elias? And how you hoped Elias felt for you too?

Surely not.

But then again, Brock always surprised you. You had always tried not to underestimate your friend, but it appeared that you’d fallen for that sweet innocent smile just the same as everyone else.

“Is Brock on his way?”

“Brock isn’t coming.”

“Oh.”

Elias seemed to hesitate, making you inhale sharply.

“Did you want to reschedule?” he asked, wincing.

You could be brave, right? Or at least take a step towards bravery?

“You’re already here…so we can still have our own movie night?” you suggested, unable to stop yourself from chewing your bottom lip.

Elias’s eyes flickered down quickly towards your mouth, before he cleared his throat and smiled softly at you. “Yeah, of course we can. Also means we don’t have to listen to Brock whining that we aren’t watching one of his rom com choices.”

The dryness of his tone made you giggle, immediately cutting through the lingering awkward tension. You could absolutely do a movie night just with Elias. You could absolutely handle being alone with him like this.

Absolutely.

The two of you ploughed through the pizzas while you watched one of you go-to action movies, laughing and talking all the way through, even finishing the popcorn and a couple of beers each by the time the credits were rolling. Bailey had happily sat by your feet the whole time, actually behaving himself for once, and you couldn’t remember a time when you’d felt so content. So relaxed and happy. Brock had always brought that out in you, and now that Elias had too? It just filled you with butterflies in the best way.

“Shall we watch another?”

“Definitely,” you nodded, smiling up at him.

Elias smiled easily back. “You choose? I’ll clear up.”

Before you could protest or even help him, Elias had picked up both pizza boxes and all the empty beer bottles, leaving you alone on the sofa. You heard him opening the trash can, snapping you out of your surprise, so you started scrolling through Netflix again, eventually deciding on a light-hearted comedy just as Elias re-entered the room. Bailey had trotted out to his own bed when Elias left, so it really was just the two of you now.

Something that made your breath hitch in your throat was the way that Elias sat down closer to you this time. Unmistakably closer, close enough to feel the heat from his body and to smell his cologne. He did that on purpose, there was no doubt about it. But his face gave you no answers, nothing more than his usual smile around you, so you let it go. Overthinking things was definitely not the way to go, you knew that much.

It didn’t make your heartrate calm down at all though.

You pressed play to get the movie started, lightly tossing the tv remote onto your coffee table before settling back into the sofa, letting the familiar introduction wash over you.

It took ten minutes for everything to change.

Elias wasn’t a big hugger. You knew this. Brock knew this. The whole of the Vancouver Canucks knew this. So when you felt a pressure along your shoulders, you tried not to flinch, realising it was his arm stretching across the back of the sofa when his hand lightly brushed your opposite shoulder. Elias…Elias had put his arm around you. He’d put his arm around you? You glanced up at him, trying to get any sense of his thought process, but his eyes were resolutely glued to the television, his body a frozen line of tension. All over again, your heart started racing. You were right after all. Maybe…maybe Elias really did have feelings for you, just as he’d finally hinted at the team event, and now he was making a gentle move in the most Petey way ever.

The ball was in your court.

Ever so slowly, you relaxed against under his arm, sinking into his side, head resting on his chest. You could hear just how fast his own heart was racing and it made you smile, feeling giddy that he was just as affected as you were, even more so when his arm draped around you properly. This was really happening. Elias Pettersson had really instigated snuggling with you on the sofa. This was better than any dream you could’ve imagined.

The next thing you knew, you were blinking your eyes open. The sky outside was pitch black, the curtains still wide open, and the Netflix landing page was glaring bright. But the main thing you noticed? You were curled up against Elias’s side still, head resting on his chest, his arm having fallen down to your waist and his head lolling back on the sofa. You’d fallen asleep together? Was there anything more cliché than that? Still, it felt like your heart was going to beat out of your chest with how right it felt to be in Elias’s hold. His hands were so large and so warm, the heat spreading through the contact on top of your sweatpants. His chest was so solid and calming under your cheek. And as you lifted your head, ever to slightly to look at him properly, even just through the light from the TV he looked so handsome. Beautiful and peaceful. But there was no way that could be comfortable for him, and the last thing you wanted was for an aching neck to put a damper on what was the perfect evening.

So you lightly rested your hand on his chest, shaking him gently until you heard him grunt in displeasure.

“Hey, Elias, we fell asleep on the sofa,” you murmured.

He immediately groaned, making you laugh softly, smiling at him as he finally lifted his head.

“I was having such a good dream,” he grumbled.

Then he seemed to freeze as he realised where he actually was, taking note of how you were still tucked into his side, and where his arm and hand were holding you.

“Damn it, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“Hey, no, we both fell asleep eh?” you said, interrupting with a smile and a shake of your head, “It’s fine, Elias. We were both cosy.”

He swallowed heavily before nodding.

“I don’t think I’ve ever fallen asleep on the sofa with someone before,” he mumbled, “It was…nice.”

You felt your cheeks heating up with the gentle compliment, your smile letting him know you felt the same.

“I should go,” he said softly.

No!

Well, now was your moment. Now was the time to be brave where you’d never needed to be so brave before. After everything that had been building between the two of you…now was the moment.

“Or, maybe you could stay, and we could talk in the morning,” you offered as calmly as you could.

You felt Elias inhale sharply where your hand was still resting on his chest.

“The kind of talk that I’ve been wanting to have for a while?” he asked, hope evident in his eyes.

Oh wow.

For a while?

You felt like you were floating as his words sunk in.

“Yeah I think we’re on the same page,” you murmured, your blood thrumming with possibility.

The smile that spread across Elias’s face made your heart soar, and you found yourself smiling just as widely back. And when he leant forward to press a soft kiss to your forehead, you’d never felt more alive.

You could only imagine Brock’s satisfied grin when you told him.

[fallinallincurls]

in picture frames, in all my dreams, you’re the one i want

this is my entry for @wyattjohnston 's winter fic exchange 2k24!! i wrote this fic for the lovely @laurenairay and i hope you love it so much! i had the best time writing this one (which means there will probably be more brock fics in the future). and shoutout to @tonyspep for bouncing ideas around with me as always!

i also made a playlist for this fic as well if you'd like to check it out!

hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated! xx

word count: 3.8k+

~~~~~

This was not supposed to happen. You were supposed to be on a plane back to Minnesota right now so you would be home in time for Christmas. But when you arrived at the airport earlier, the board of departures were full of canceled flights including yours. And when you brought your dilemma to the customer service desk, they informed you that all flights out of Vancouver were either booked or canceled through the 26th. The day after Christmas.

That’s how you ended up where you are now. Frantically knocking on your best friend’s front door and trying to hold back the overwhelming urge to cry.

“Come on, come on, come on.” You mutter to yourself, knocking one more time in hopes that the one person you want to see right now will answer.

At that very moment, the door swings open to reveal a cozy but sleepy looking Brock. He’s wearing a pair of gray sweats with an old Canucks t-shirt. His blonde hair is tousled but still somehow looks perfect and his blue eyes light up at the sight of you. You love seeing him like this, so soft and relaxed. The Brock that the media and fans don’t know, but you do. 

“Uh, hi. Again.” You say quietly while offering a watery smile.

“Y/N?” Brock asks, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. You don’t blame him, it is only six in the morning. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you going home today?”

“Well yeah, but the insane snow storm had other plans. My flight was canceled and I can’t get anything until after Christmas. So I’m kind of stuck here.”

“A week of me wasn’t enough for you?” He teases, that familiar smile brightening up his face. You just shrug in response, your lips just barely tipping up at his playfulness.

Without saying another word, Brock pulls you into his arms for the tightest hug. It takes everything in you not to sob against his sturdy chest as the warmth and comfort he always carries surrounds you.

“I’m going to miss Christmas.” The terrifying admission tumbles from your lips as tears start falling. You’ve never missed a Christmas at home with your family and you can’t imagine spending the magical day stranded halfway across the continent. 

“No, you’re not.” Brock murmurs, smoothing your hair down as he holds you. The small gesture immediately makes you feel more at ease. It’s something only he knows that will help calm you down when you’re upset. Before you protest, Brock makes a split second decision. “You’re going to spend Christmas here, with me. We’re going to celebrate Christmas together. And you can stay here since all the hotels are probably booked or mad expensive, it’s just easier.”

It takes a moment for Brock’s words to register in your mind, but when they do, your heart swells. Of course he would welcome you in for a holiday that you weren’t supposed to spend with him. He would do anything for you and he’s been that way since you were kids. But right now, you’re more grateful than ever for his kindness.

“Are you sure? I was only supposed to visit you for a week.” You ask faintly, voicing the only worry that surfaced at his suggestion. 

When the University of Minnesota, the school that you’re currently a professor at, announced the dates of winter break, you immediately booked a flight out to Vancouver to spend some much needed time with your best friend. It’s tough to see Brock during the season because classes are also in session and schedules almost never line up. But you weren’t letting this opportunity pass by. The past week has been spent catching up and doing everything that was physically possible together. You couldn’t have been happier you made the trip until the debacle this morning put a damper on the unbelievable happiness you’ve been feeling since you arrived in Vancouver. 

“And the weather said a week wasn’t long enough.” Brock says, his tone of voice telling you there was no room for arguments. “I won’t let you spend Christmas alone so we’re doing this, okay? Plus, I don’t think Coolie and Milo will mind having you around for a few more days. You know how much they love you.”

“The dogs aren’t the only ones who love me.” Brock smiles at your playful comment and can’t help but chuckle at the truth of the oblivious statement. The full extent of his feelings for you that he’s been hiding for years is unknown to everyone but himself. And maybe Quinn and Petey. But he won’t admit how he feels about you until he knows the moment’s right, until maybe there’s a chance you feel the same way.

So he shrugs nonchalantly and lets a laugh slip past his lips while ignoring the way his heart races just from looking at you. Before he can say anything in response, you’re surging forward to hug him again.

“Thank you so much, really. It means the world to me. You have no idea.”

“You know I’d do anything for you.” Brock admits, honesty seeping through each word. “Besides, spending Christmas with you just made my holiday a lot more exciting.” 

“Please,” You roll your eyes in response, but the softest smile blossoms across your lips and the insane amount of anxiety that was consuming you a few minutes ago has already started to dissipate.

“C’mon,” Brock starts, pulling you through the door and over the threshold of his apartment. “You’re probably exhausted so let’s get you a nap and we’ll go from there.”

There’s no resistance as he leads you to his bedroom, hands you one of his t-shirts and tells you it’ll all be okay. Before you know it, you’re under the blankets, wrapped up in the warmth and coziness of Brock’s bed, drifting off to a much needed sleep.

When you wake up a few hours later, well rested and feeling much better, you find yourself squished between two large dogs. A giggle slips past your lips at the sight.

“Hey guys!” You exclaim, not wasting a second to give both Coolie and Milo some pets. “Lucky you, I’ll be here for a couple more days which means you’ll get plenty of extra snacks.”

“No, they won’t!” Brock calls from somewhere in the apartment, making a laugh bubble up in your throat. Even if your Christmas isn’t going to go as you had planned, you’re glad that you’ll be spending it with your favorite person in the world. 

The dogs race ahead of you to find Brock as you start making your way down the hallway. Although you’ve spent a decent amount of time in Brock’s apartment over your weeklong visit, you take a few extra seconds to look over the collection of pictures he has hanging on the wall throughout the hallway. Photos of him with his family, smiling with teammates, namely Petey and Quinn who you know have become his best friends, views from his many trips to different places around the world and of course, snapshots of you and him together. 

A smile blossoms on your face as you look over the memories frozen in time in each photo, laughing to yourself at the ridiculous ones Brock has hanging up that feature his teammates and you. But just before you’re about to head down the stairs to find him, one picture catches your eye. You don’t know how you missed it over the last week, but you must have.

Because staring back at you are little versions of you and Brock, flashing big, beaming grins at the camera in front of the sign to the summer camp you both attended for years. That’s how the two of you met and you remember looking forward to the summer just because it meant seeing and spending time with Brock. Even though you both lived in Minnesota, it wasn’t until you were older that you were able to communicate outside penpal letters sent in the mail and the ninety days you spent together on the campground where you both formed memories that will last a lifetime.

You couldn’t have been more than seven in the photo and it’s clear that both of you are happier than ever. That feeling is still present today whenever you’re with Brock, it’s nestled deep within your heart like it belongs there forever and you’ve carried it around for most of your life. It only took you years after he already had moved to Vancouver to realize that happiness can often be mistaken for love. 

Shoving those thoughts away, you bound down the stairs to meet your best friend again. There’s a new pep in your step as you’re determined to make the most of every second this Christmas even if it’s not what you expected. You’re here with Brock which is all you could ask for.

A gentle smile is already on your lips when you get to the bottom floor, but you halt almost immediately when you see the scene in front of you. Coolie and Milo are wearing the cutest doggie holiday sweaters and Brock is softly grinning while leaning against the kitchen counter which is full of a wide variety of baking ingredients. And when your eyes look over the living room, you notice a box labeled “ornaments” sitting atop the coffee table, undoubtedly full of all of the beautiful ornaments that were carefully hanging from the branches of Brock’s Christmas tree just hours ago. 

“What is-”

“I told you we were celebrating Christmas and we’re going to do it the right way.” Brock simply explains, blue eyes twinkling with joy and you see a flicker of nervousness there too. Like he isn’t sure if you like the gesture.

“Brock,” You breathe out, his name just above a whisper. 

“I know you love decorating the tree on Christmas Eve so I just took down the ornaments so we can do it together. And your family always bakes cookies the night before Christmas too and I surprisingly already had most of what we needed for the recipes.”

There aren’t enough words to properly show the gratitude, the love, that’s swelling in your chest so you just cross the room and wrap your arms around him in the tightest embrace. Brock immediately responds, pulling you even closer to him, and for a moment everything feels right. 

“Thank you,” The words are quiet, but Brock hears them and presses a delicate kiss to the top of your head. You pray he doesn’t feel the way your heart skips a beat at the sweet action and he must not because he pulls away with a big smile and a hint of mischief mixed with something else you can’t quite place evident in his eyes.

“Of course, you deserve nothing less. What do you want to do first?” He asks, ready to jump into either activity. But it’s right then that everything clicks.

“Wait, you went out in the snow to get the rest of the ingredients we needed?”

“Well, yeah, it’s not too bad. Compared to the snow we used to get at home, this is like nothing.”

“But it’s cold! And how did you get the recipes for my favorite Christmas cookies without-” You trail off, the realization setting in at the same moment Brock speaks up to confirm your suspicions.

“I called your mom. She was more than happy to share the recipes with me when I explained what I was up to. That was the easiest part actually!” 

If you weren’t already head over heels in love with him already, this moment would’ve sealed the deal. You can’t believe he went through all this trouble just to make the holiday special when you weren’t even supposed to be here in the first place. Nothing but adoration rushes through your veins and you can feel the blush creeping into your cheeks. Without hesitating, you lean up to kiss his cheek as yet another silent thank you and his skin almost immediately turns pink. 

“Alright, let’s do this, yeah?” He asks, distracting you from his reaction to the little gesture the two of you have been doing since you were younger and pulling you into the kitchen. It doesn’t take long for Christmas music to be turned on, filling the air with even more of a festive feeling. Brock makes sure your apron is tied on, just like you do for his, and then you’re off baking. You teach Brock all the techniques you’ve learned over the years from making these recipes and you get the pleasure of seeing him so free and happy.

You want to see him like this for the rest of your life. A big smile on his face, eyes crinkled in happiness and no sign of any stress hanging over him.

“What are we going to do with all these cookies?” The question falls off your lips after Brock slides the last batch into the oven. 

“Easy. You’ll take some back home with you so your mom can see how much of an awesome job I did and the rest I’ll give to the team. A lot of them won’t say no to homemade cookies even if it’s the middle of the season.” 

“If you say so,” You giggle, not being able to picture his teammates willingly accepting Christmas cookies when they’re in the middle of the best season the team has had in a long time. But you don’t argue, just set aside the best looking cookies that you and Brock decorated for Quinn and Petey, and sneak one to Coolie and Milo too, before getting the kitchen back in order.

After everything is cleaned up so the kitchen doesn’t look like a total disaster anymore and you both enjoy the takeout that Brock ordered for dinner, no time is wasted in moving to the living room to decorate the Christmas tree.

“Okay, where do we start?” You contemplate, gently placing your full mug of hot chocolate on the coffee table while surveying the tree glittering in the corner of the room. 

“I forgot how seriously you take decorating for the holidays.” Brock chuckles, opening the box that he put all the ornaments back in earlier. He didn’t really forget, in fact, he missed it more than anything. That’s more than half the reason he spent so much time taking every single bauble off the tree. Yes, he wanted to make sure Christmas was as magical for you as it would’ve been back home, but he also selfishly wanted to share this moment with you too.

And he’d be lying if he said his heart isn’t full to brim right now with what he knows is love. Not that you can tell or would ever know that.

“The tree is serious business!” You exclaim with a chuckle, watching as Brock carefully starts removing ornaments from the box one at a time. He hands you a simple, but gorgeous blue ball to hang up first.

Slowly, but surely, the two of you decorate the tree with the wide variety of ornaments Brock has. He tells you the stories behind the ones his teammates have gifted him, shares the laughter with you when he stumbles across one that has a picture of him as a toddler in the picture frame and recounts the memories of family or solo vacations whenever he hands you one that was clearly bought at a tourist shop. There’s a soft smile on Brock’s face that never disappears and you swear he keeps sneaking glances at you.  

The tree becomes more festive as each decoration once again finds a home on its branches and not for the first time today, you forget that this isn’t where you were meant to be for the holiday. But you’re kind of grateful for the snowstorm now. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have gotten to do any of this with the man who you’ve wanted for years.

“It’s done!” You cheer with excitement when you place the last ornament on the tree. “We did a pretty good job. Don’t you think?” Stepping back to admire the beautiful work you both did, your shoulder bumps Brock’s and that familiar shock of warmth floods through your veins at the brief contact. 

“It’s the best Christmas tree I’ve ever seen.” Brock responds playfully, but there's a faint tone of seriousness evident in his voice. His eyes are glistening in the glow of the lights and you can’t deny how perfect he looks so cozy and joyful like this. 

A few seconds later, without you realizing, Brock slips away to put the box away until it was time to take all the holiday decorations down in a few weeks. But to his surprise, there is one last ornament sitting in the box that was somehow forgotten.

“Y/N,” Brock laughs, picking up the decoration. “We forgot one.”

“No way! What is it?” Nothing but curiosity and excitement is evident in your voice. You cross the room to Brock and lean into his side to see what the mystery ornament is.

And when you get a glimpse, your breath is stolen away. Because in Brock’s hand is a small photo of a grinning little boy and girl sitting together at a picnic table inside a picture frame made of colored popsicle sticks. The two words “best friends” are written in black marker across the bottom of the frame in a neat, but childish looking style of handwriting.

Recognition washes over you instantly.

“I made that,” You start, almost stunned as you look between the homemade ornament and Brock’s face.

“You did. Like decades ago.” Brock chuckles, the sound fills the room with happiness and light. He still remembers the day you gave him this little gift. It was the last day of summer camp and before you both said goodbye with a promise to see each other soon, you gave him the gift. For only being nine years old at the time, Brock thought it was one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for him. Plus, that way he had a little piece of you back home too.

Since then, he’s cherished this adorable, homemade ornament like nothing else. It always seemed a little silly to him, to hold onto a childhood craft, but seeing your reaction right now tells him it means just as much to you as it does to him.

“And you still have it. You kept it all this time?”

“Of course I did.”

“Why?” The question is gentle, but full of genuine interest. There’s a beat of comfortable silence as Brock battles with his thoughts for a moment. He knows this is it. This is the moment he finally tells you how he feels. All of the nerves and worries he had about confessing how his heart beats just for you falls away in mere seconds.

Your brows furrow at the strange look on his face. His blue eyes are full of an emotion you can’t place and the softest smile graces his lips. But more than anything, there’s a trace of clarity on display across his features. His gaze flicks down to your lips a few times before he speaks. 

“Because you’re my best friend.” Brock whispers, each word carrying more weight than ever before. “But I don’t think that’s enough for me anymore.” He admits, a weight lifting off his shoulders as the words hang in the air for a moment.

He doesn’t have to say anything else because you know what it is right then. He is in love. With you.

“And you’re my best friend, but I want us to be more too.” Brock’s face practically lights up at your response, knowing that you feel the same way he does. It almost feels like a dream that after years, he doesn’t have to wonder anymore if you have fallen for him too.

“Can I kiss you?” Brock asks with a gentle voice as one hand settles on your hip before pulling you in closer. “We did somehow end up under the mistletoe.” He points up to where the collection of leaves are hanging in the entryway you’re both standing under. You can’t help but laugh at the sight and nothing but pure elation fills your heart.

“Yes, please.” 

He cradles your cheek with one hand while the other stays on your hip, keeping you pressed against his body. You can’t help the smile that blossoms on your face before his lips catch yours in the softest, most passionate kiss you’ve ever experienced. The rough feel of his scruff against your smooth skin makes you giggle a little bit, which Brock responds to by deepening the kiss even more.

It’s absolutely perfect. You’ve dreamt of this exact moment more times than you’d like to admit, but it’s everything and more. And by the way Brock is holding you, it’s obvious he’s been waiting for this too.

When he reluctantly pulls away a few seconds later, there’s a new glimmer that you’ve never seen before in his bright blue eyes. He looks like the human form of sunshine right now and you can’t take it. You reach up to brush a lock of blonde hair back off of Brock’s forehead. He gives your hip a reassuring squeeze, a reminder that this is in fact real.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.” Brock murmurs, his smile just mere centimeters away from yours.

“I think I do.”

And without hesitation, you lean in to kiss him again. Once because it’s been a long night, twice because it’ll be alright, three times because you waited your whole life.

Before any fears or worries can creep in and ruin the moment, Brock wraps you up in a tight hug. Your head rests against his chest where you can hear his steady heartbeat.

“We’ll figure everything out. I promise.” He says calmly, somehow knowing what your next thought is going to be. “But it’s Christmas Eve and I don’t want to do anything else but enjoy being here with you.”

“I’ve never been so grateful for a snowstorm in my life.” You laugh, pure bliss humming through your body.

“Me either. Who would’ve thought that’s all it would’ve taken for this to finally happen?”

Later that night, when you’re snuggled up with Brock on the couch watching Home Alone while Coolie and Milo sleep nearby, you realize that you did in fact get to spend Christmas at home even though you didn’t make it back to Minnesota. Because Brock is home. Just being in his arms brings you the same kind of comfort and love you cherish so deeply.

Almost as if he can sense that you’re getting lost in your thoughts, Brock raises a brow in silent question when you look up at him. You just smile in response before leaning up to kiss his cheek which earns you a sweet grin.

“Merry Christmas, Brock.”

“Merry Christmas, Y/N.” Brock murmurs softly, brushing your hair behind your ear. “So happy my Christmas wish came true this year.”

[ellethespaceunicorn]

Touch and Go: A Detective's Romance

Rating: Explicit, 18+, Minors - DNI 

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Detective!Female!Reader 

Fandom: Night Hunter 

Word Count: 3.3K 

Summary: What happens when a touch-starved detective who isn’t well-versed in human interaction meets their match?  

Warnings: touch starvation, awkward conversation, unprotected p-in-v sex, creampie, crying during sex 

A/N: It’s apparently winter in this story, damn Minnesota weather. Honestly, I was watching the movie while writing so it ended up being snowy. Unbeta’d, we die like people who tried their best.  

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics 

Support/Reblog banner by me 

Cover Art by me 

My Masterlist 

It’s not like you never noticed your fellow officer. Of course, your attention has been pulled to Detective Walter Marshall once or twice, or several times throughout your time working together. Damn, ok the man was a presence. His very existence should have a warning label on it. 

Not that he’s a bad person. Far from it, in fact. You thought the world of him. Not that you’d admit it, but you found his grumpiness endearing. His monosyllabic responses to questions made it a bit hard to get to know him. You weren’t exactly an open book yourself. But you forced yourself to try and get to know him. 

You didn’t make it a habit to get to know people very often. You had trust issues, and rightfully so after what your ex-partner left you with. A broken heart and a fractured view of your self-worth. You hadn’t even let anyone touch you in so long. A handshake here or there, maybe a pat on the shoulder but nothing more. 

And now here you were, a touch-starved mess who had grown to be a bit more than interested in another detective. You wanted to make him smile and that was a foreign feeling to you. So, you started with an olive branch. 

Asking if he wanted a coffee on your way to the break room. After the fifth time, he relents, requesting a cup of black coffee with three sugars. While you’re there, you pick up a granola bar from the cabinet. Handing him the paper cup of coffee, you also pull the treat from your back pocket and toss it on his desk. 

He tilts his head like a giant puppy at the snack. 

“Humor me and eat something. I’m curious if you’re eating enough if I’m being honest.” You bite your bottom lip unconsciously, and the beginnings of a smile appear on his face as he rips open the bar and takes a bite. 

Chewing slowly and staring at you, he seems to look right through to your soul. You look down at your feet to break eye contact and he clears his throat, getting your attention back.  

“You know, I actually love food. I love to cook almost every night.” As the words come out of his mouth, it’s like they’re fighting their way out. As if each syllable is a punch to the gut. 

“I love food, too. But I hate cooking,” You suddenly had a very dry throat, so you sip a bit of coffee before speaking again, “I’m not inviting myself over or anything, but if you’d be up for it sometime...I, uh...yeah.” You look everywhere but him as you trail off. 

“Yeah, that’d be nice. I normally eat alone. Be nice to have someone...there...to eat with.” It’s like speaking makes him physically nauseous, the way his jaw tenses like that. 

“Well, I’m free most nights, so...just let me know.” You move to turn and leave his office, but he stops you with an offering. 

“You wouldn’t happen to be free tonight?” He’s even surprised by his question but plays it off by folding his hands on his desk and maintaining eye contact. 

“Yes. I’m free.” You know you sound desperate but at this point, this is the most contact you’ve had with the man since you’ve been here so who cares? Well, you do, but you can worry about that later. 

“Good. Yeah. So, uh, I guess come and grab me when you’re ready to go. You can follow me to my place. Sound good?”  

“Yeah, that sounds great. Um, I’m gonna leave so I don’t say something embarrassing. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. I just—” 

Walter cuts you off, saving you from yourself. “Don’t do this a lot?” 

“No, I don’t. Been a long time and I don’t want to fuck this up, ya know? Not that playing it cool was ever my style. Why start now, right?” You surprise Walter by laughing at your self-deprecating joke and he follows suit. 

The little duck of his head doesn’t stop you from seeing the way his eyes crinkle at the corners. When he picks his head up again, a broad smile is painted on that normally glum face. If you had 1% less control over your face, you would have drooled. 

This man should smile more. 

And you know you hate being told to put on a smile but fuck, his face was made for it. You realize you’re still looking at him and a faint rose-tinted blush dusts across his cheeks and the tips of his ears. 

You should not be allowed to be that adorable. 

“What?” Walter’s question brings you back to where you just said that sentence out loud. 

“I think I just called you adorable. So, I’m gonna see myself out and try not to throw myself into traffic on the way to my desk. I’ll be back when I’ve calmed my brain down a bit.” You wave awkwardly and exit his office before you can notice the smile inching back over his features. 

You spend the next two and a half hours hoping you didn’t make a complete ass out of yourself in front of the only man you’ve talked to in the last few months that wasn’t a delivery driver or your boss. The only person who you’ve talked to for more than a few minutes about something other than work.  

When 5:30 p.m. comes around, you gather your things and drag your feet to Walter’s office. He’s already standing, putting away some files in his desk drawer, looking up when he hears your polite throat clearing. 

“How do you feel about Spaghetti Bolognese? I have a recipe from Jamie Oliver that I’ve been meaning to try out.” He says, putting on his parka and moving toward you where you stand in his doorway. 

“Um, pasta is life. Pasta with meat sauce? Even better.” You brighten at the mention of a familiar dish, your previous nerves all but forgotten. 

“Great. Shall I help you with your coat?” He hinted once he realized you weren’t moving toward the exit. 

“Uh, yeah. Thank you.” You set down your purse and handed over your fluffy overcoat.  

Walter holds it out for you as you back your arms into the sleeves. As it comes to rest on your shoulders comfortably, his hands smooth over the fabric that covers your forearms, your hands ending up in his for a moment. 

You freeze at the sudden contact but if Walter notices, he doesn't make a big deal out of it. He just squeezes your hand quickly and hands you your purse so you can walk out together. You are grateful to be among the stragglers leaving the office so that you don’t draw too much attention. 

Walter walks you to your car and has you put in his address to your GPS, ‘just in case you get lost’ he jests before heading to his truck. As you watch him walk away, one thought comes to your mind. 

Is this a date? 

You park behind Walter’s truck in his driveway, climb out of your car, and crunch through the snow behind him. In your clumsy state, your foot slips, and strong arms catch you so that you don’t completely bust your ass on the unforgiving ice below.  

This time when he touches your arms, you are beyond grateful to be able to pull yourself upright again. Once you’re stable, Walter keeps one of your hands in his until you make it to his front door. He lets you walk in first, turning on the light to the short hallway after you chuckle in the darkness. 

Walter takes your coat and hangs it up with his, your wet boots left by the door. Walking into the kitchen, he pulls out a bottle of red wine and two glasses. Opening the wine, he pours each glass and brings them out to where you are standing in the living room. Handing you a glass, he raises his own.  

“Shall we toast to something?” Walter smiles softly, expectantly waiting for you to suggest what to salute. 

“To...being pleasantly surprised that you still wanted to cook for me despite every awkward moment I’ve had since earlier today. You are a gentleman and a scholar and I'm gonna shut my mouth and drink this wine before I just...keep talking.” You cringe inwardly before looking back up at Walter. 

He is watching you with rapt fascination, a slow smile forming. “Let’s toast to practicing human interaction. I’d say we could both use some assistance in that area. We’ll help each other, deal?”  

“Deal.” You tap your glass to his and take a sip of the now-aerated wine. Your cheeks warm at the blackberry finish of the cabernet sauvignon.  

Maybe there is something to the whole liquid courage thing. 

Dinner turned out lovely. You were pleasantly surprised that Walter could cook. There were moments watching him cook where he didn’t have to measure things, or he added a little extra of this or that. He didn’t use a recipe while making the garlic toast like it’s a staple of his repertoire or something. 

Sitting on his couch with your feet tucked up under you, you look around the living room at the lack of family photos or little touches that scream Walter Marshall. Not that you would have any idea of what those little touches would be. It just doesn’t feel like a home. It feels like a house, just a house that someone lives in. 

When he comes back to the couch with freshly poured wine, you accept your glass with a smile, and he returns it.  

“It is a Friday night. We are enjoying our second bottle of wine. You made me a delicious dinner. And I still can’t figure out if this is a date, Walter.” You fiddled with the glass in your hand, looking into it as if the answer was inside the wine. 

Walter’s thumb and forefinger on your chin have you looking up at his face. “I’ve used almost every excuse to touch you tonight. I kept talking to you earlier when you thought you’d lost me. I feed off your awkwardness because you say what’s on your mind without a filter. I’m not exactly one to speak a lot but I enjoy talking to you. Because you make me feel like I’m not alone.” 

Unshed tears gather at the corner of your eyes. You swallow the lump in your throat, clearing it loudly before you speak. “Can you tell I’m touch-starved because you are too?” 

At his quiet nod, you take his wine glass and set both of your glasses on the coffee table. You lean forward, your elbows on your knees. He watches as you have a silent moment with yourself, going over different scenarios before you reach a consensus with yourself. You look back up to him and your face softens. 

Reaching out your hand, you intertwine your fingers in his curls. As he turns his head to push it further into your hand, his breathing picks up. He grabs your fingers as they migrate to his jawline.  

“I want...I need more than this. I'd like to say I could wait, but all I can think about is kissing you until you can barely breathe.” Walter forces the words out, his breathing in time with yours. Erratic. 

You climb into his lap, one hand still in his, the other hand fisting his wool jumper. “Then kiss me until I can barely breathe. Fuck breathing. I just need you.” 

No sooner are the words out of your mouth, than Walter’s lips are on yours. It’s like he was starving and the breath from your lungs was the only meal he’d had in weeks. You could feel his hunger as he licked the seam of your lips, letting him in was the only option.  

As your tongues fought for dominance, he took the lead in a way you couldn’t ignore. His arms wrapped around you, pulling your torso flush to his. You felt so small yet so special as he held you. So new yet so treasured as you broke the kiss and rested your forehead against his to calm your nerves and catch your breath. 

A moment passes between you where you both just breathe. Until you lean your head back, locking eyes with Walter again, and you nod. He understands your non-verbal request, picking you up and walking toward his bedroom. Kicking the door behind him, he lays you down in bed and gets to work undressing you. 

You lift your hips as he pulls your jeans and underwear down your legs. You remove your top and bra, and he watches as your body is exposed to him. He stands to make quick work of his jumper, and you salivate at the sight of his hardness through his boxers when his jeans are pushed down his legs. His hefty dick springs up against his abdomen as his boxers are removed. 

Your hands roam over his hairy chest as he climbs onto the bed. With a hand under each knee, he pushes your legs back as far as they will go. He admires the shiny wetness that your pussy leaks. Shifting closer, he pushes the head of his dick through your folds and groans. 

He looks up into your eyes and asks silently if he can continue. When you nod, he enters you and your body accepts him fully. Allowing you to get adjusted to his size, he wraps your legs around his waist and pulls out until just the tip remains inside you before he slams back into you. This time you both groan, you at the fullness, him at the tight squeeze. 

“Fuck, you feel amazing. But please, keep moving.” Your words are all he needed to begin an all-out assault on your cunt. 

If it had been a while for him, you’d be none the wiser with the stamina this man possessed. He held your legs open while he fucked into you. He allowed you to just take it as he did most of the work. You could hardly keep up with his thrusts as you melted beneath him. 

“You’re so fucking close, just let go for me. I can feel you squeezing my fucking cock. Be a good girl and come for me.” While he whispered in your ear, he ground his pelvis into you to stimulate your clit and G-spot at the same time. 

When your resolve finally breaks, you try and hide your face in Walter’s neck to no avail. He tangles a hand in your hair and pulls you back so he can watch your orgasm play out on your face. 

“Don’t hide from me when I’m making you come. I want to watch you fall apart under my hands. You are so fucking gorgeous when you come for me, girl.” He talks as you come down from your orgasm and the warmth that spreads over your body is palpable. 

“Thank you,” You blurt out before you can stop yourself. 

Walter all but runs with it. “Fuck yes, you fucking thank me for your orgasm. That’s my good girl.” He pulls out, turning you on your side and sliding in behind you. Entering you again, he reaches a hand around to play with your clit. Circling your nub, then flicking it to keep you stimulated enough to come all over his fingers. 

You come for a second time within a few minutes, and he fucks you through it. Your words are clipped while you try to thank him once more and it just comes out as breathy whispers. 

Your moans are music to his ears and he pistons in and out of you. As your walls massage his cock, he starts to falter in his movements. You reach back to grab his hand, lacing your fingers together before pulling your hands to your chest. 

Getting the message, Walter wraps his other arm around you to pull you even more impossibly close to him. He slows down his pace, dragging out your moans as he unhurriedly moves inside you. He leans into your ear and speaks softly. 

“You have no idea how much I needed this. How much I wanted you. I didn’t know how to talk to you. Fuck, you feel amazing. Need you every day, girl. Just like this, wrapped up in you. I won’t last much longer. So perfect.” He babbles near the end, whimpering your name. He latches onto your neck as he stills inside you. 

His teeth nip at you and his tongue soothes your skin as you feel his cock twitch and paint your walls with his spend. You can hear him groan in your ear as his arms hold you tight. You haven’t felt this safe in someone’s arms since you were little. You don’t notice you’re crying until Walter wipes away the tears that fall down your face. 

“I’m sorry, I—” 

“If you’re about to apologize for crying in front of me, please don’t. You deserve to express your emotions no matter who is around. Least of all, me.” He places a kiss on your neck, attempting to soothe you. 

“Fair. I haven’t been held or even touched in so long and it’s a little embarrassing that my first reaction is to cry.” You sniff, rolling your eyes at yourself. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. I know that’s easier said than done. But trust me, we just experienced some intense sex. And it was emotional for both of us. Trust me. Can’t you feel how fucking hard I am still inside you?” He moves his hips just slightly and is rewarded with a shiver going down your spine. 

“Walter...please.” You let your whimpers be heard and you get what you want.  

He moves to his knees while keeping you on your side. He pushes your leg up to a 90-degree angle and leans forward to fuck into you. The sound of slapping flesh fills the room as well as Walter’s grunts as he buries himself deeper inside you than before. 

“I’m gonna...please, don’t stop!” You reach up to hold his cheek in one hand and he shuts his eyes at the contact. When they open again, his pupils are blown wide. 

“Not stopping until you come again for me, girl.” The hand on his cheek migrates to his forehead to wipe away sweat-slick curls from his brow. 

“Come with me, Walter!”  

“Ugh, fuck!” 

The hold you have on your orgasm falters and your walls flutter around him, his hands curl around your thigh as his hips pound into you one last time. As his cock spurts inside you, your cunt continues to milk him until he softens and is released from your hold on him. 

He collapses next to you, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you close. You reach an arm across his chest and settle in to catch your breath. Looking up one last time to Walter’s face, you’re pleasantly surprised to see a smile on his normally grumpy face. His eyes are closed, and you feel at peace knowing you are the cause of that serene expression. 

“Stay with me tonight.” You’re startled by his words, but you can’t deny the smile that crosses your face.  

Leaning up to kiss his stubbled neck, you revel in the grunt that follows. “Good night, Walter.” 

You feel him kiss the top of your head, nosing at your hair. “Night.” 

You fall asleep with your hand in his chest hair, your legs tangled together. You are held, you are safe, and you couldn’t be happier. Talking about what all this means could wait until the morning. For now, you bask in the feeling of warmth that this man and this moment give you. 

Touch and Go: The Morning After

A/N: Shout out to @sillyrabbit81 for her Detective Grumpypants Spotify playlist which helped me so much in writing this. 

**Tag List** 

@brattymum96 @ambinxe @avengersfan25 @kebabgirl67 @thabiddie23 @astheskycries @enchantedbytomandhenry @rebelangel1102 @peyton-warren @geralts-yenn @raccoon-eyed-rebel 

Let me know if you wanna be added (or removed) 😁 

[adrienneleclerc]

The First Date

Pairing: Walter Marshall x Latina/Hispanic! Reader

Summary: Walter and Y/N go on a proper first date since they kissed in the interrogation room

Warning: spelling and grammatical errors because I don’t proofread

A/N: “Don Refri” is very popular, considering the fact that my followers are mostly because of my previous work, and I’m so happy! But would anyone be interested in being tagged in my other Henry Cavill fanfics? I have 2 Walter Marshall one shots out, I’m working on 2 August Walker ones, AND I really want to write a Mikey (I am watching Hellraiser as I write this, btw) one because he’s the main reason why I fell for Henry Cavill so I thought it would be fitting. LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED IN MY OTHER HENRY CAVILL FICS, also send requests if you want.

On the bright side, Walter was not suspended for punching Tyler Delgado in the face…twice.

However, he did have to do desk duty with Y/N for a week which is anything but a punishment. Walter and Y/N have been having lunch together every day and have being working late together every night. And of course when everyone else has left the station, they have a little fun, nothing more than making out though because there was no way in fuck the first time they have sex will be in the workplace. Walter considered himself to be more romantic than that.

It was the last day that Walter had desk duty (Tuesday) so he was at Y/N's desk, eating a doughnut while Y/N was typing the reports. She turns her head to see Walter's lips covered with icing.

"You could help me, you know? It would make this workload a whole lot lighter." Y/N said.

"I could help but you look so beautiful when you're typing." Walter said, leaning in to kiss her cheek but Y/N pushed him away slightly.

"Not when there are other people here, I thought we dicussed this." Y/N said.

"Well then I guess I would just have to wait until our date." Walter said. Y/N furrowed her brows.

"Our date? I don't remember being asked out on a date." Y/N said. Walter turned Y/N's chair so she is facing him.

"Y/N, my dear, will you do me the honors of accompanying me to dinner Saturday night?" Walter asked.

"What a gentleman. I would love to have dinner with you." Y/N replied. "now please wash your hands so you can help me file this in the records room." Y/N said.

"Of course, my lady." Walter said, getting up from his chair, he kissed Y/N's cheek quickly before she had time to react. When Walter left, Rachel sat down in his chair.

"How's it like working with detective grumpy so close to you? Has he been correcting the way you fill out forms?" Rachel asked.

"No, not really. He has been fine to work with, he has just been observing me, I guess. Makes me nervous, but it is fine." Y/N said, telling Rachel half of the truth. Yes, having Walter work next to her made her nervous, but thats because he is a good looking British man that wants to kiss her all the time.

"I get that. But at least he'll be back doing his thing tomorrow. I got to do something real quick." Rachel said.

The following days were normal, Walter went back to his detective duties. He would ask Y/N to his office as usual, get in a few kisses here and there, he would sometimes bring her mexican baked goods from a coffe shop, it was business as usual and no one suspects a thing.

Y/N and Walter were almost done for the day. Luckily Saturday has been very a slow day. Y/N was cleaning up her desk when Walter came out of his offcie.

"You ready to go?" Walter asked her.

"Yes I am." Y/N replied. They both left the department and kissed each other goodbye.

"I'll pick you up at 7." Walter said, walking to his truck. Y/N followed him.

"Great, where are we going?" Y/N asked.

"It is a surprise." Walter said, getting in his truck.

"What do I wear this date?" Y/N asked.

"Whatever you're comfortable with." Walter said.

"You're not helping, just thought you should know that." Y/N said.

"Darling, it is winter in Minnesota, wear somehting comfortable. I'll see you later." Walter drove off and Y/N did the same once she got into her car.

Y/N made it to her apartment and realized it was already 4:30. She can't really prepare for her date on an empty stomach so she quickly made 3 quesadillas and ate while she began contemplating what to wear. Obviously she could not go wrong with a little black dress. But she is Latina so a red dress would compliment her more and make her stand out. She took a big bite out of her quesadilla.

"Ay, que dificil es ser yo." Y/N whined, she got out her phone and played music, connecting it to the charger because there is no way she's going on a date with her phone at 43%. "I could always wear a skirt..."

Walter wasn't having an easy time picking out what to wear either. He put on a Henley shirt and flannel of the same color, he was totally okay with the outfit until he looked at himself in the mirror.

"Oh god, I look like a Winchester brother." Walter said before he took off the flannel. The navy blue henley looks fine with his jeans and snow boots. Then he started thinking if a button down shirt would be better but he settled on the blue henley.

Y/N on the other hand was still choosing.

"Ugh, why am i like this?" Y/N questioned. "Fuck it." Y/N said, pulling out a dark/emerald green long sleeve sheer lace top, a black camisole, and black high waisted jeans. Once she changed, obviously wearing thermal leggings underneath the jeans because it is fucking winter, she put on her black combat boots and add some jewelry to dress up the look. Was debating whether or not to do her makeup to she decided on...(Your choice whether or not to do makeup). She sprayed her favorite perfume, and now was looking in the mirror...staring at her hair. (Again, your choice if you want to style your hair or not).

Walter was doing his hair, actually taking care of his curls this time. He wet his hair and started styling it with whatever hair products he bought at target that his barber recommended. He diffused his hair to speed up the drying process. When he finised, he trimmed his beard, sprayed cologne, texted his friend to see if the surprise for later was almost ready and he got the thumbs up saying it should be finished by the time they go. Walter looked at the clock and saw that it was 6:30. He drove to the florist to pick up a boquet of Y/N's favorite flowers (mine are peonies, you can tell in my other work) that he had ordered earlier, and then drove to Y/N's apartment.

Y/N was walking around the apartment, overthinking about her date. Am i overdressed? Am i underdressed? What if it is a disaster? What if he realizes we are better off as friends. Or even worse, friends with benefits. Like good enough to make out with but not enough to pursure a relationship with. She was pulled out of her thoughts when she heard the doorbell ring. Y/N walked over to her door to buzz up Walter. A few moments later, there was a knock and Y/N opened the door to see Walter. Ugh, he looked so handsome.

"Good evening, my lady, these are for you." Walter said, handing Y/N the bouqet he had hidden behind him. Y/N smiled and smelled the flowers.

"These are so beautiful, Don Refri, my favorite. Come in, I'll put these in water and then I'll grab my coat so we can go." Y/N said, moving over to let Walter through and closed the door.

"You look beautiful, by the way. Green is definitely your color." Walter said, following Y/N into the kitchen.

"Thank you, I was panicking. Your curls look beautiful, by the way. Why don't you style them like this for work? Not that i don't love your hair all the time. And you trimmed your beard, you did all this for me?" Y/N asked when she finished filling a vase with water and unwrapping the bouqet to place them in the vase.

"Of course i did. I am afraid with how much I run my had through my hair, these curls won't stand a chance at work. Let's go, our journey awaits." Walter said. Y/N had her coat in hand and Walter helped her put it on (such a gentleman) and they left the apartment, Y/N locking the door behind her. When they make it outside, Walter opened the passenger door for Y/N, helping her in the truck and closing the door. Then Walter got in the truck. There were times when Walter was driving that he would drive with one hand (which i find hot) and had his right hand on Y/N's thigh. They make it to their destination and Walter helped her out the truck.

"no way, you brought me too La Grolla? I always wanted to eat here." Y/N said.

"I know, let's go in, shall we? We have a reservation." Walter said. He took her hand to his lips, placing a kiss, and they entered the restaurant. "Table for two under Walter Marshall."

"Ah yes, right this way." The hostess lead them to their table, Walter had his hand on Y/N's lower back, guiding her to their table, he then pulled out Y/N's chair and pushed it in once she was seated.

"Wow, Don Refri, you are making me believe that i should have dated British men years ago." Y/N said, taking off her coat.

"I'd say that you should have but I feel quite honored being your first British man." Walter took off his coat and Y/N would have drooled then and there because the way this muscles look in the henley was nothing short of sinful. Her eyes looked him over and Walter chuckled. "I take it you like the henley."

"There is just somehing about men wearing henleys that is so slutty and orgasmic." Y/N said

"Then maybe I'll start wearing them to work." Walter teased, winking at the end.

"Don't you dare, I wouldn't be able to concetrate." Y/N said.

Dinner went well, Walter ordered wine for them, they talked, then Walter got a text that it was finished.

"Do you want dessert or are you ready for the next part of the surprise?" Walter said.

"Another surprise? Wow, yes, lets go, I'm ready." Y/N said. Walter laughed lightly at her excitement. He asked for the check, he paid, and they left, walking to his truck. He drove to a lot where the winter carnival is. "Wait, i thought Friday was the last day."

"it is, but I helped the owner once and he said he owed me one. This is it." Walter said. Thats when everything turned on, the lights were beautiful. "So, my lady, what do you want to do first? I think its tradition as carnival dates go is to win you a prize."

"Okay then, lets see if you can win me a prize at the ring toss." Y/N challenged. She knew he was going to win but its fun to tease him. The owner was the one monitoring everything so wherever Walter and Y/N went, he followed to host the game or operate the ride. So far, Walter has won Y/N 5 stuffed animals. "Okay, Don Refri, I think this is enough." she said.

"Yeah, we need to talk about that nickname. I love it, I really do, but you said that you would stop if i started expressing my feelings, right? I started expressing my feelings to you, I think it is time that I get called something else." Walter said.

"I still have to call you that at work though, just until we tell everyone we are dating. Are you okay with that, corazón?”

"Corazón? That means 'heart', right?" Walter asked.

"Yes it does, because you have my heart." Y/N leaned up to kiss him.

"Mm, you know what else is tradition to carnival dates? Going to the ferris wheel and kissing at the very top." Walter said.

"Is that so? Then lets go, it is tradition afterall." Y/N said. Y/N place the stuffed animals on a table since they are the only ones there and went to the ferris wheel where the owner set them up and everything. It started going until it stopped when they were at the top. "The view is amazing up here."

"Yeah it is. You know, I'm very glad that you came to my police district. We never would have met otherwise." Walter said.

"True. Even though you were kind of an ass when we first met." Y/n said.

"And I am sorry for that. But now we're here. Now lets follow tradition." Walter said, leaning in to kiss Y/N. It was a soft and gentle kiss until it started to become more passionate and full of need. Walter pulls away. "You make me act like a teenager whenever you're around, and I love it so much, I never felt like this before."

"Me neither." Y/N said, kissing him again.

The night came to an end, Walter dropped off Y/N at her apartment, kissing her goodnight.

"See you at work tomorrow, my lady." Walter said, bowing.

"See you tomorrow, corazón." Y/N said, she closed the door and leaned against it. This was the best first date ever.

The End

Hope you enjoyed reading it!

Taglist: @shellyshellshell @warriormirkwood @secretdream2

[homeofhousechickens]

Know someone who loves wolf research? Let them know that the Voyagers Wolf Project is seeking donations to support their winter field season.

"We need some help here folks! We need 939 donations by the END of today to unlock an extra $6K for the project (and likely more other monetary prizes). Donations can be of ANY size ($5, $10, etc) and go towards supporting our winter field season.

So if you enjoy following our project, please help us out by making a small donation. Each and every donation helps us toward unlocking some sizable prize money!

Why is today special/important? Today is Give to the Max Day in Minnesota—a day of giving to non-profits—and there are a bunch of other monetary prizes handed out and so the more donors we get, the more likely we are to win other prizes too. For example, last year we won an extra $13K in total because so many folks donated!

In particular, the project with the most donors gets an extra $6K. Last year we won this prize with 1,481 donors and think we will win again if we can get 1,500 donors— so far we have 561 donations so over a third of the way there!

Donations go toward our upcoming winter field season where we estimate the number of wolves in each pack, the number of pups that survived in each pack, the size of the wolf population, and social dynamics of wolf packs."

I'm in no way affiliated with this group personally. I just think what they are doing is very important. If you have seen new information regarding wolves it's likely its from this project's hard work.

Here is a link to the fb post

[quintessenceofdust88]

ooo 30 + bathena for the kiss prompts please!

Hii Ellie! ofc my love, thank you for the ask!! I had a great time writing this little Bathena piece for you, and I hope you like it! I dipped my toes into some h/c territory and I hope it's good💖💖💖💖

Athena sees Bobby in the living room when she wakes up, and she knows. This is one of those days where he's not entirely her Bobby. She supposes it's very common for people who marry later in life. They have pasts, and some days, those pasts are louder than their present. Lord knows, some days she feels more Emmett's than Bobby's. And some days, Bobby is more Marcy's than hers. Athena can see it in his eyes; there's a dull ache behind them, an ache that she knows all too well, an ache that brings screams from a winter night in Minnesota so many years ago. "Morning, baby", she says softly, placing a hand on his shoulder and rubbing gently. "Everything okay?" Bobby looks up at her, his eyes bright and slightly red-rimmed. He tries to smile at Athena, but it's subdued and small. He takes her hand in his, giving it a gentle kiss. "Hi, love" He says, and his voice is hoarse. "I'm fine. It's just..."

"Your ghosts?" Athena asks gently, sitting by his side on the couch. Bobby looks down at their joined hands, a broken sigh escaping his lips. "It'd be Bobby Junior's birthday today. He'd be 20. A man", he says, sounding between proud and mournful, and Athena's heart squeezes in her chest. She can't imagine what that must feel like, not seeing a child grow up. She doesn't even want to. "I... I just keep thinking what he'd be like, you know? What profession he'd have chosen. If we'd get along. Things... Things I'll never know"

"I am so sorry, Bobby" Athena tells him earnestly, because there's nothing else she can say. There's no platitude that will help. She can only be there. "Is there anything I can do for you?" She's asked this question many times over the years, and it always fills her with dread, because there's always a chance of Bobby shutting down and asking to be alone, which means Athena won't be able to help at all. But the way he's looking at her, expectant and fragile, tells her this is not one of those occasions. "Just... stay with me? I... I need to remember the good I have now, 'Thena, or I'll suffocate in the bad that was" He confesses, and Athena doesn't need to hear it twice. As gentle as possible, she places a hand on his cheek and kisses him, tenderly and slow. Bobby kisses her back, urgently and desperately, and she can taste a few tears. Once they grow apart, she presses a kiss to his forehead, and he sighs brokenly, resting his head against her shoulder. Athena gently caresses the hairs at the back of his neck. "I'm here. I'll always be here, baby" That's all she can promise; she can't take his pain away, can't kiss it better like she did with her kids' bruises and scrapes. But the smile Bobby gives her, though still sad, makes it feel like enough. Like they are enough for each other. -- Send me a ship and a number and I'll write you a kiss scene!

[uconnwbbcrashout]

last winter break

chapter i: “this is the love that we won’t get right”

paige x azzi

word count: 3.1k

content: mentions of underage drinking (of which i do not condone), swearing, even more angst

chapter list: here

author’s notes: back with some more angst (as requested)! a couple things: for the sake of this fic, they get longer than just a few days off for winter break before they have to start playing again. also, reminder again that azzi’s high school is in minnesota (like 15 minutes away from paige’s).

oh, and things will get worse before they get better :) enjoy!

Winter 2020-2021

Azzi is no stranger to pain.

It’s more or less the price you pay when you decide to dedicate your life to basketball—physical injuries are basically a given. Granted, you never know what the extent of those injuries might be, but it’s essentially a guarantee that there will be something.

And Azzi has dealt with her fair share of physical injuries over the years—bloody cuts, bruised legs, shin splints, pulled muscles, sprained ankles. They’re annoying, for sure, but Azzi has mostly learned to deal with them, doesn’t see them as excuses for having an off game. She’s learned to fight through them.

Then, of course, there was her ACL and MCL tear last year.

That had been a different beast entirely. One that she was wholly unprepared for.

A sharp, stinging sensation radiating through her knee, unlike anything she’d ever experienced before.

Perhaps the hardest part of it all, though, was the mental toll it took on her.

Azzi’s learned that basketball is as much of a mind game as it is a physical sport. It takes resilience, an steady mental fortitude to endure all the challenges it throws at you—blocked shots, missed game-winning buckets, losses in a championship game. Azzi was used to that, had been building up her mental toughness since the first time someone stole the ball from her at recess in first grade.

Going through a major injury like that, though, left her in a prolonged state of turmoil. It took away basketball, one of the greatest constants in her life, and turned it into an impossibility. It kept her glued to a seat, to the bench, helpless to be at her teammates’ sides when they needed her most. It fabricated nightmares late at night, making her wonder if she’d ever get to play the game she loved again.

It was almost too much to bear.

So, yeah, Azzi’s been through it all—all sorts of physical injuries and all sorts of emotional anguish. Anything you can think of, really.

At least, that’s what she had thought.

The way Paige had shattered her heart, though? Had left her alone to try to stitch the pieces back together?

Well, that was certainly up there among the worst of it.

It’s the heaviest ache, the deepest sorrow permeating throughout her entire being. The type of feeling that leaves a person completely hollow, numb to the world around them.

It’s not something you move on from.

Not for a long time.

If ever.

And how could she, really, when Paige was everywhere around her?

Over a thousand miles away yet still fucking finding a way to sneak into everything she could see, everything she could hear, everything she could feel.

Paige was in the creaking park swings across the street. She was in the lingering scent of cologne on Azzi’s pillows. She was in the warmth of a late August sunset. She was in the drip of a melting ice cream cone at the state fair. She was in the rustle of the leaves in the fall. She was in the bounce of a basketball on hardwood. In the soft fabric of a well-worn tournament hoodie. In the unwrapped birthday presents shoved into her closet. In the laughter ringing out across the neighborhood. In the music thumping in her car. In the first snowfall cascading down from above. In the sparkle of lights on a Christmas tree. In the burning of her lungs against the frozen winter. In the empty space beside her, in the ground she walked, in the air she breathed.

In everything.

Azzi has tried to forget her. Honestly, she has.

But Paige hasn’t made it easy on her. Always so damn talkative and blowing up her phone with message after message, even though she was the one who ended things between them. Never seeming to understand that every text, every word reopens the stitches holding her wounded heart together.

Even basketball is hardly an escape, not something she can throw herself into now. Game after game being postponed or cancelled. Practices with her teammates few and far between, cloth masks and distance between them. And the ever-present reminder of Paige that comes with anything even remotely basketball-related.

Needless to say, these last few months have been literal hell.

In hindsight, she should’ve known that this was only just the beginning.

*****

Azzi steps back from the bathroom counter, screwing the cap to her mascara back on and giving herself a once-over in the mirror. It’s just a New Year’s Eve party, so her outfit isn’t anything too crazy—her St. John’s varsity letterman jacket, a pair of tighter-fitting jeans, and some new Air Force 1s that she got from her parents for Christmas. Hoop earrings and a simple chain around her neck. She pulls at the twin curls framing either side of her face before tightening the hair tie holding up the rest of her hair.

It'll have to do, she relents, slipping out of the bathroom and grabbing her lanyard before making a beeline for the front door. Her hand is on the doorknob, just about to rush out—

“Azzi Fudd, where is your winter coat?”

Azzi drops her forehead against the doorframe, sighing dramatically.

So close.

“Mom, it’s, like, a five-minute walk. I’ll be fine.”

She catches her mother throwing her arms up in exasperation in her periphery. “It’s 15 degrees outside, Azzi. Just put on a coat.”

“No, I said it’s fine,” she protests. “I don’t need—”

But her mom is already in front of her, pushing her puffer coat into her hands.

Azzi opens her mouth to respond, but she sees the challenging look in her mom’s eye and decides not to test her tonight. She quickly shrugs the coat on and rolls her eyes. “Fine. Whatever. Can I go now?”

Her mom smiles and steps backwards into the living room, lifting her hands in the air. “You’re free to go.”

Azzi nods and reaches for the doorknob a second time.

“Oh, actually, I forgot to tell you something,” her mom says from the couch.

“Oh my god,” Azzi mumbles, pivoting to face her mom again. There’s a suspicious glint in her eye that’s making Azzi feel uneasy. “What is it? I’m already supposed to be at Taylor’s house by now.”

Her mom smiles and takes a sip from her coffee mug. “Okay, one, it’s not my fault you’re late. And, two, I just wanted to let you know that I saw her the other day.” At Azzi’s blank expression, she continues, “Paige, I mean.”

Fuck.

Azzi hates the way her heart rate quickens, the way her mouth feels dry, the way her throat tightens. She tries to mask her initial shock with disinterest, pretending to pick at something on her fingernail. “Oh, really? That’s cool.”

The grin on her mother’s face tells her that she’s failing miserably.

“Yeah, we were both in line at the grocery store. She asked me about you.”

Azzi’s eyes widen and she pulls at the collar of her coat, suddenly feeling like she’s suffocating underneath all these layers of clothing. “Yeah?” she asks quietly. “What’d she say?”

Her mom gestures with the coffee mug in her hands, a wide smile still adorning her face. “Oh, you know. Just wondering how you are and where you’ve been.” She shrugs. “Said she missed you and was hoping that maybe she could see you over break.”

None of this is news to Azzi—she’s heard this all before in the endless string of texts she’s gotten from Paige since July.

Even still, her breath catches in her throat at her words.

She wants to see me.

God, but what does it matter, really? Paige made it very clear that this wasn’t going to work between them. And Azzi made it very clear that she couldn’t go back to just being friends with her.

That should be the end of it.

So why isn’t it?

Why do I still care that she thinks about me? Why do I care that she misses me?

Why can’t I just let it go?

“Azzi?”

Azzi blinks hard a few times and glances back up at her mom, flashing her a smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes. “Oh, yeah. That’s um—that’s great. Thanks for letting me know that.” She hooks her thumb over her shoulder towards the door. “I’m gonna go. For real now.”

“Be safe!” She hears her mom call before she slams the door shut behind her.

Azzi inhales raggedly, feels the sting of the cold night in her lungs, then releases her breath into a cloud in front of her.

I’m so fucked.

*****

It’s not the usual celebration this year. Normally, she’d be hanging out with her family, or perhaps Paige’s family, playing games and sharing smiles well into the night. Paige by her side, the warm press of her hand on her lower back, her laughter echoing off the walls of Azzi’s mind.

Obviously, nothing has gone to plan this year.

That’s why she finds herself here—in the basement of her friend Taylor’s house, sitting in a circle with the rest of her teammates. Half empty beer bottles are strewn across the floor and the midnight countdown sits abandoned on the TV.

With a warm buzz dulling her racing thoughts and the giggling of her teammates flowing through her ears, she thinks she likes this alternative, too.

It’s a welcome distraction from the chaos that her senior year has devolved into. Social distancing, cancelled basketball games, college decisions. Lost friends, new future teammates, empty spaces.

The breakup. The constant fight between anger and longing, between trying to move on and fantasizing about a life where everything just worked out.

She doesn’t have to think about any of it.

She’s hardly thought about Paige at all, actually. She hasn’t wondered what it would've been like to spend tonight with Paige instead. Hasn’t counted how many steps it would take her to get to Paige’s front door from here. Hasn’t even thought about the last time she counted down to midnight, the hungry look in Paige’s eyes, the way she pulled their bodies together and kissed her senseless, her breath caught in her throat and her hands wandering—

Okay, fine.

Maybe Paige crossed her mind once or twice.

Maybe she misses her. Just a little.

She’s still pissed at her for breaking her heart, though. And no amount of alcohol can make her completely forget that feeling.

*****

It’s well past midnight by the time Azzi finally makes her way home, probably at least 2 A.M. if she had to guess. Her parents are not going to be happy.

She’s sobered up a bit now, thoughts finally feeling a bit clearer in her head. The wind has picked up considerably, forcing Azzi to duck her head down into her coat and shove her hands into her pockets. She's suddenly glad that her mom had forced her to wear something warmer.

Just a few more blocks to go.

As Azzi approaches the corner ahead, her ears pick up on the sounds of distant chatter over the howling wind. Curious, she lifts her head up and settles her gaze upon the group ahead of her. A rambunctious bunch of people, probably around her own age.

She stops dead in her tracks.

Even with just the dim orange streetlight, Azzi doesn’t need to move closer to be sure—that lanky 5'11 frame is unmistakable.

Paige.

Azzi is frozen in time, completely entranced with the figure before her. She can barely see anything—can just make out blonde hair settled around broad shoulders and the strong line of a jaw—but it’s enough to capture all of her attention.

She isn’t sure how long she’s standing there, her mouth agape, before she realizes that the figure is moving towards her now, is calling out to her.

“Azzi? That you?”

Azzi snaps out of it then, the reality of the situation starting to unfold, and she’s spinning away and striding in the opposite direction before she can even think twice about it.

There are footsteps now, quickening, thumping louder in her ears.

“Azzi! Hey, slow down!”

The sound of snow crunching under sneakered feet.

“Yo, wait up!”

Azzi speeds up her pace.

“Azzi?”

The voice is clear now, merely a few feet behind her.

“Hey!”

Azzi steels herself for impact, tries to remind herself to keep her resolve.

A hand curls itself around her forearm and Azzi half expects to see a hole burned through her jacket when she looks down at it.

The hand is turning her now, spinning her to a stop right in front of icy blue eyes.

“Azzi,” Paige exhales, her breath rapidly coming out in puffs that disappear into the air. Her eyes are bright, her smile is wide, and Azzi’s heart aches. “Hey.”

She doesn’t look all that different from the last time Azzi saw her—it’s only been a few months, after all. Hair down, in a UConn sweatshirt, some sweatpants, and old basketball sneakers. That same stupid grin on her face, the one she reserves just for Azzi.

Against her will, Azzi’s body reacts instinctually, urging her to move closer into Paige’s space, and she has to use all of the strength she can muster to hold herself back.

“Hi,” Azzi whispers, biting her lip to stop herself from saying anything less than coherent.

“Hey,” Paige says again, her gaze still locked onto Azzi’s.

They stay like that, unmoving, for several long seconds.

Paige is still grasping onto her forearm, and Azzi clears her throat to get her attention.

Paige blinks and releases her hold on her arm, sheepishly glancing away. Maybe it’s just the cold, but Azzi swears she sees a pink tint spread its way across Paige’s face. “Sorry ‘bout that,” she mumbles. “It’s good to see you, Az.”

Azzi feels her resolve crack ever so slightly at the nickname, the ease at which it falls from Paige’s lips. She straightens her shoulders out and crosses her arms. “How you been, P?”

“Good. Real good.” Paige grins. “Love it at UConn. You watch any of our games?”

Azzi shrugs, aiming for indifference. Maybe she’s seen one or two.

Paige doesn’t need to know that.

Paige nods her head, shifting her balance from one foot to the other. She ducks her head a bit to catch Azzi’s eye. “You doin’ okay, too?”

“I’m fine,” she lies, rubbing her hands against her arms to try to keep herself warm.

Paige gives her a disbelieving look, her eyebrows furrowing in that familiar way. “You sure?”

“I’m fine, okay, P? I’m fine.” It comes out harsher than she means it to, and Paige brings her hands up in front of her.

“Okay, okay. I believe you.” She focuses her attention on the ground, cracking ice beneath the heel of her shoe.

A quiet moment. And then—

“I miss you.”

“Paige,” Azzi sighs.

“Listen, I know you decided on Maryland and all that, but you’d be so good at UConn, Az.”

“Paige, I don’t—”

“You were made to be there. You—you’re just perfect for the team, you know that? Just—"

“Paige—”

“—exactly what we need. I talked to Nika 'bout it. You could be that last piece, for real. And I’on wanna be the reason you turned it down—"

“Just stop! Okay?” Azzi brings up a hand in front of her, effectively silencing her. “I can’t fucking do this right now, Paige. I can’t.”

Paige takes a small step back, a canyon forming between them. Her voice is quiet when she says, “Just want what’s best for you, Azzi.”

A dam breaks open inside Azzi then, sending white-hot blood pumping through her veins.

“You think I can’t decide that for myself, P? First the breakup and now this. You think I don’t know what’s good for me?”

Paige’s eyes widen and she steps forward, waving her hands in front of her. “No, no. Didn’t mean it like that. I swear, I just—”

“Hey, P, you comin’?”

Azzi peers past Paige’s shoulder, squinting into the night to find the source of the voice—a smaller figure standing on the same corner Paige was just a few minutes ago.

“Hol’ up!” Paige yells back, but Azzi hardly hears her.

There’s something about the figure that looks so familiar, so much like something she’s seen before. Azzi’s wracking her brain, rewinding time, desperately searching for an answer as to who this could possibly be.

All she has to do is replay the last few minutes before it clicks.

It comes back to her in flashes then.

How could she have missed it? So caught up in a trance of Paige, Paige, Paige that she didn’t even recognize the scene that was in front of her—Paige, under the streetlight, standing tall. A woman, next to her, leaning into her space. Whispering in her ear. Laughing at one of her jokes. Grabbing onto her bicep. Trailing her fingers down her arm.

Azzi tastes bile rising in her throat. She nods her head toward the woman, eyes cold. “Who’s that?”

Paige looks between Azzi and the woman, her expression faltering. “Oh, she’s just someone I went to Hopkins with. I swear it’s not—I swear, it's nothin', Az.”

“It’s fine, Paige.”

“Nah, I’on even really know her that well. She’s the one comin’ onto me.”

Azzi scoffs. “You weren’t exactly pushing her away.”

“Azzi, look,” Paige pleads. “I know, I know, it looks bad. Like, so bad—"

“You know what?” Azzi cuts her off. “It doesn’t matter. There’s nothing here anymore. There’s no us, remember?” She backs up, putting some much-needed space between them.

“Azzi, please, come on. I promise there's nothin' there.”

But Azzi is already backing up, already knowing how this will end, already on her way out. “Do whatever you want, Paige. You’re free from me now.”

“Az—"

“Goodbye, P,” she calls over her shoulder, trudging back towards home.

Her mind is swirling now, distorting reality to the point that she can’t be sure of what she saw. Was Paige leaning in towards that woman, too? Was she laughing along with her? Was she brushing up against her side? Was she looking at her lips? Was she reaching out? Was she ghosting her fingers over her skin?

A thought occurs to her then: Paige is already moving on.

Or at least she’s thought about it.

And here I am, thinking she still cares about me.

She doesn’t let the tears fall, doesn’t let everything tumble out until she finally turns back onto her street.

And then it all floods in.

God, how could I be so stupid?

[ladylooch]

The Aftermath of Us - [Liv X Luca]

A/N: The ending of their angst... for now, because let's be real it's me. BUT! of my planned angst for them, this is the end. This was quite the rollercoaster both in the angst and for me to write. I hated putting these two through this. Because I love them, but felt they needed to have this break in order to grow into what is next for them ☀️

Word Count: 5.2k

Part 1 | Part 2| Part 3|

She didn’t want to be an option. She wanted to be the only conceivable choice in this man’s life. And if that’s not what she was, she didn’t want a lick of what he had to offer down on his knees, begging for her to marry him after everything he had done to them.

With her chin in her hands, Livia Meier reads through the last paragraph of her writing. A lump settles into her throat, feeling the ache for these two imperfect characters she has been curating through written word for the last few weeks. This story, which had started off so discombobulated, has flown through her so well this week. The pieces her editors had balked at weren’t entirely without merit, but now that she isn’t running from things in her personal life, she sees exactly where she wants this all to go. 

She just wishes her writing success would cost less.

Her chair creaks as she leans back, letting her sore shoulders rest against the leather of her desk chair. She rubs at her eyes for a brief moment, then glances at the clock below her monitor. She has five minutes to get downstairs. 

With that in mind, she hauls herself into a standing position. She completes her stretching routine quickly to work the writing kinks out of her muscles, then walks towards her front door to grab her boots, jacket, and keys.

The cold New York winter keeps Liv inside her apartment building, scanning the street for the black Yukon that will be delivering her parents. Her mind should be here in New York, but instead it floats states away to the colder landscape of Minnesota and she wonders what Luca is doing at this exact moment. She hugs herself tighter, closing her eyes and willing the moment to pass. She doesn’t want to think about him right now. She doesn’t want to worry about how he is doing or if he is broken up about being traded from his hometown team. She wants to greet her parents and disappear in the comfort they will provide.

But it’s Luca. She should know after the last few weeks how impossible he is to forget.

Liv found out about the trade from her older brother. They had been out to dinner last night when Lio had snapped back from his phone, looking at her with cautious eyes.

“Uh….” He clears his throat. Liv froze. Her unflappable brother is never shook by anything. She resists the morbid thought that one of her family members has died.

“What?”

“I think you might want to see this.” He murmurs, then slides his phone, face up over to her. There she sees the trade announcement from the Minnesota Wild. Luca’s name is printed in white lettering on the forest green backdrop, announcing a swap between the team and the L.A. Kings. Liv’s heartbeat rushes through her ears. She looks at Lio who takes his phone back, looking over the details again.

“Damn, this is a good trade for the Kings. Luca will work well in their system. They need a little more grit with their flash. And he is tough to play against.”

Liv nods, maybe in agreement, but mostly in shock. Her hands itch to grab her phone in her purse. She wants to reach out, ask him how he is doing, if he needs anything. But… she also knows that isn’t her place right now. 

But maybe, if he needed her, he would reach out. This would be when she would finally hear from him. She hasn’t since they got off the FaceTime call almost 5 weeks ago now. But this is huge, life changing. He won’t be able to resist hearing her voice.

Luca didn’t call last night. Nor has he in the 13 hours of the current day either.

Liv can’t quite believe how that is possible. Doesn’t he want to talk to her? Doesn’t he need her assurance that it is going to be okay? Or has he really already faded away that much from her?

A timeline of images rolls through Liv’s mind. All the moments that got them to this point. She second guesses everything, critiques all the ways she could have been better too and leaned in instead of out. But she got so tired of feeling like the only one who was holding on to them. She needed Luca to try harder, but had no words for how to tell this to him. She has them now. But if he was standing in front of her today, that’s not what she would say to him. She would tell him she loves him and misses him and is willing to take on the whole world again together.

The black Yukon comes purring to a stop in front of her apartment door. Liv feels her shoulders drop in an exhale. Finally, they made it. Their oldest may be in the next city over, but they are here for her, at her request, because she missed them. It’s that simple. And when she called her mom, asking for her and dad to come over, her mom didn’t hesitate. 

“I’m booking our flights right now. Which weekend? How about at the end of February? We will celebrate your birthday- late of course, but better than never, huh baby?”

Her mom had no idea what happened with her and Luca, but she still managed to make everything okay, even if it was only for five minutes. 

Now they are here, still unknowing about her and Luca as they step out of the SUV and gather her into their arms as quickly as their limbs will move.

“Hi Livy!” Her mom squeals when she sees her. Liv beams at her mom, rushing into her outstretched arms, letting her catch the full weight of her. Timo comes to the side, grabbing both women into his arms and squeezing hard. In the embrace of both her parents, Liv feels the first crack of her resolve. 

“Mama, you’re blonde again.” Livy murmurs.

“Yeah, Auntie wanted to try some new products.”

“It looks good. Got that California glow.” Liv murmurs, looking at the strands of her hair, trying to ignore the growing tears in her water line. “Beautiful.”

Her mom pauses, cupping Liv’s cheeks. Liv chomps on her bottom lip, trying not to blink the tears down her face.

“What’s wrong, baby?” Her dad asks, never one to beat around the bush. His hand rests between her shoulder blades, rubbing soft circles there.

“Is it Luca? We saw he got traded this morning. Daddy texted him some encouraging words.”

“You texted him?” Liv gasps.

“Yeah… Was I not supposed to?”

“No, um… What did he say?” She asks, staring her dad down.

“... Thank you…” He trails off, confused. 

“Oh. Just that?” Her parents share a glance. Liv swallows hard.

“Well, yeah. I’m not sure there was anything left to talk about at that point. I’m sure he is reeling from everything. It’s a whirlwind, even when you want it. How is he doing?” Liv’s shoulders sink and her tears spill over her lashes as she shakes her head. 

“I don’t know. We um…” She struggles to get the words out. “Broke up.”

The shock on her parents' faces could energize the entire city for minutes. She looks down at her boots, then shrugs her shoulders. Her bottom lip wobbles, which breaks her dad out of his trance first. 

“Baby.” He sighs, pulling her into his strong chest. She falls into him completely, burying her nose into his armpit, losing it completely. Her mom’s hand comes to her hair, smoothing it down as she steps into the otherside of her dad’s chest. 

“It’s okay, honey.” She murmurs. “Daddy and I are here now. You don’t have to be strong anymore. We will take care of you.. Of everything.” 

Liv nods. She may be grown, but there is something magical about your parents taking care of you when you need it most.

An hour later, Liv is curled into the couch with her mom, resting her cheek on her shoulder while her mom combs her nails through her hair. She just went through everything that happened from start to finish, including the confusion of Ryder. Her dad listened from the kitchen table, making no noise except small slurps of his espresso. Her mom nodded and gave miniscule words of encouragement through the story, waiting until Liv seemed completely done with her story. 

“What about now? How are you feeling?” Liv shrugs, bringing a small piece of her sleeve to the corner of her eye to absorb the tears threatening to fall again.

“I miss him. I don’t know what I expected from this break, but nothing about this has changed how I feel about him. If anything, I’m more in love with him. I wish he was here. I wish I knew what he was thinking as his whole world shifts.” 

“Have you reached out?”

“No.” Liv sighs. “I feel like he doesn’t want to hear from me right now.” She bites her lip, contemplating. A piece of dry skin flakes off from the scraping of her teeth on it. “If he did, he would have reached out by now. Like, why hasn’t he called me, mama?” Liv shrugs indifferently, then brings her knees up to her chin. “I guess it’s fine. I understand if he doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“Maybe he is on a plane right now thinking the same thing about you.” Her mom points out. 

Liv looks out the window of her apartment, watching the reflection of a plane flying overhead in the buildings next door. 

“Maybe I just messed it all up.” Liv whispers. Her mom brushes Liv’s hair back from her cheek then kisses her hair. 

“If it’s meant to be, it will be. We have talked about that, but sometimes fate requires our participation. This doesn’t need to be the end of your story.” Her mom looks across the room to her dad. “Sometimes it takes a couple tries together before you get it right.” Liv lets her mom’s words sink in. They settle in next to her heart and spread out through her chest like wild flowers in the spring. They bob and weave in her chest like a hopeful promise. 

Her dad’s phone pings, filling the room. 

“It’s Lee. He’s asking if we want tickets for tonight.”

“Up to you, baby.” Her mom says to Liv. “We are here for you.”

Liv contemplates, figuring it would be a good distraction, ironically, for all this heaviness she feels inside of her chest. 

“Yeah, we should go.” Liv smiles. “But first, espresso martinis?”

Her mom grins widely.

“Woo, yeah! That’s my girl!” She pats her thigh.

Yeah, this is exactly what Livy needs.

- - -

As she brushes on the final swipes of mascara onto her lashes later that night, Liv cannot help the pull of her phone to her left. The screen keeps lighting up with texts from friends and her brothers, mostly from the family group chat where they are asking their parents to bring back various American delicacies like Cheetos and Starburst. 

But it’s not her text messages or social media notifications that have Liv’s attention tonight. It’s the three grad school acceptance emails that have been starred in her Gmail, forgotten until she has the capacity to think clearly about a future, one that may no longer include Luca.

She has five days left to make a decision. Her choices are incredible. One includes staying in New York, in a city that she has come to adore more than she ever expected to. The other is Washington University which would require a move to the center of the country. The other is on the West Coast, nestled inside one of the world's largest cities- Los Angeles. There are pros and cons to each of the schools, both academically and personally. But if Livy was honest, UCLA has always been her top choice. Now with Luca there, it seems like it should be a no brainer. But her mind races and trips over itself, trying to figure out the next right direction for her life.

He probably doesn’t want you there, a mean voice whispers.

Liv steps back from the mirror, throwing her hands on her hips in annoyance. 

“Why are you like this?” She snaps at her reflection. “If you want to go to UCLA, then go to UCLA. If you want to go to Wash U, go there! It doesn’t matter what anyone else has to say about it. This is your life.”

But staying in New York is tempting… where she is closer to home. Mack is moving here in the summer too. It would be nice to be close to her.  Liv looks at the way her eyebrows concave inwards, the deep frown on her lips pulling them down earnestly. 

How could she stay here when her whole entire heart is moving to Los Angeles?

“Hey, the car is going to be here in five minutes. Are you ready?” Her dad says from the doorway of her bedroom.

“Almost!” She calls back to her dad.

With haste, Liv begins to throw her makeup back into their respective drawers. She fluffs her hair, then swipes off some of her lipstick that smudged into the crease of her upper lip. She pauses, thinking about what else she needs before she is ready to go. Shoes and a purse come to mind. 

A knock at the door sounds and Liv assumes it’s a package she ordered from Amazon for same-day delivery.

“Daddy can you get that?” Liv calls down the hall as she rushes into her closet. She needs to find her other crossbody bag otherwise she is going to need to stuff things in her mom’s purse. “Where are you?” She mutters to herself, clawing through her closet. She swears it was hanging on the back of her closet door last time she saw it, but her closet is a mess of clean and dirty clothes, plus shoes strewn every which direction from kicking them off after class.

“Livy.” Her dad says quietly from behind her, startling her.

“I’m almost ready.” She assures him.

“Baby, Mama and I are going to head to the game without you.”

“Dad, I just said-“

“Luca is here.” Liv freezes. She slowly falls back, thighs hitting her heels where she is kneeling. Her blue eyes look into her dad’s identical ones. They soften at the pure terror on her face. She still has no idea what to say to him and now he is here. But also he is here.

“Oh.” He steps forward, giving her his hands. With his help, she stands up, smoothing her sweating palms down her jean covered thighs. “What if I asked you to stay?” Her dad smiles sympathetically.

“You don’t need us for this part. You know what you wanna say. Speak from the heart.”

Her dad walks from the room and Liv slowly follows behind, staring at his broad shoulders. In the living room, her mom stands with Luca, who is smiling and nodding along to whatever she is saying. He looks so good, it almost stops Liv mid-step. His hair has been cut recently, a few days of stubble growing on his face. He laughs at something her mom says and his perfect, white teeth accent the twinkle of his brown eyes. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of his dark jeans while a white, designer shirt rests against his chest, a gray flannel on his shoulders. 

When he turns to look at Liv, the weeks apart and words unsaid stretch between them. The urge to run to him and press her cheek to his solid chest makes her limbs buzz, wanting her to make them move. She doesn’t. Instead, she comes to a stop just inside the room as her dad continues forward.

“Hi Liv.” Luca greets her, eyes casually glancing at her dad as he comes to his wife’s side. 

“We will leave you two. Hang in there, Luca. It gets better. Remember, it's a whole new opportunity to be your best.” The former NHL winger encourages him.

“Thank you.” Luca nods sincerely. His eyes follow her parents for a moment, but once they pass Liv, his orbs remain only on her. She swallows hard, moving with her parents to the door. 

Neither of them seem willing to save her from whatever this will be. Her mom winks at her, then squeezes her hand before they head out the door. Quietly, Liv shuts the door, then tucks her hair gingerly behind her ears.

“I’m sorry to take you away from Lio’s game with your parents. I didn’t realize they were in town.”

“It’s okay. It’s Lio. He doesn’t really care if I’m there or not. But I’m… surprised to see you here.” She bites her bottom lip. 

“Not upset though, I hope?” Liv shakes her head no.

“I’d never be upset seeing you.” She whispers. Luca sighs heavily, removing his hands from his pockets to twist together in front of his body.

“I was hoping we could talk.”

“You could have called.” She points out in a whisper.

“No, I couldn't have.” He murmurs with a small smile. “Not for this.”

They stand there, five feet apart looking at each other until Luca hesitantly raises his hand towards her to take. She traces the lines in his palm with her eyes, then up the squares on his forearm to his eyes. The way he looks at her makes her ache for him. She can see how much he is hurting from all that has happened. All she wants is to make this better for him. For them. Her fingers glide up his to his palm, then circle his wrist. She leads him over to the couch where they both sit together. Their bodies turn inward towards each other, knees touching slightly. 

Luca brings a hand up, raking his fingers through the side of her hair. Liv closes her eyes, leaning her cheek into his palm, letting herself savor his sweet, protective touch. His thumb brushes her cheek bone as her blue eyes open to drink him in. 

“Tell me you’re still in love with me.” It’s a beg from his sweet lips.

“Always.” She murmurs. He smiles, clearly relieved.

“I love you. And I’m so sorry.” He swallows hard, brown eyes deepening with regret.

“I know. I am too. Everything got so sideways, so fast. I hate what happened.” He combs his fingers completely through her hair, then runs his fingers down her back before letting his hand fall away. 

“I understand my part in it. You were right, I don’t think I did before.” He says to her. “I recognize that I was putting you so far on the blackburn, it was like you weren’t even there. I let every mile of distance grow between us because I was worried about my career.” He sighs heavily. “And it didn’t pay off at all. Look at me now.”

“Luca, the Kings obviously really want you. They gave up a first round pick and a star prospect for you.” He shakes his head, waving her words away kindly.

“I don’t care about any of that, Liv. I don’t care about hockey or the NHL or the money. It means nothing without you. If I’ve learned anything over the last couple of weeks, it’s that.” He shakes his head, running his hand through his hair as he sighs again. “I just want you.” He whispers. “You’re the only thing in this world I truly need.”

Tears build in Liv’s eyes. She drops her gaze down to her thighs, contemplating what to say to him. Sure words are her thing, but when it comes to her feelings for Luca, they never seem to convey the depth.

“If you don’t feel the same way anymore, that’s okay. I’ll figure out how to live without you, but I need you to know that.” His voice is soft, barely speaking loud enough for her to hear his words. A drop falls down from Liv’s eyes, splashing onto her thigh- a navy dot in the denim. Luca rubs at it with his thumb. “I am going to lay all my cards on the table right now.” Liv looks back at him. “Come with me to L.A. We will start over, a new chapter with a deeper respect for each other, and a bigger love. We will stumble and make mistakes again, but we will do it together. I don’t want to spend any more time apart. I want it to be you and me in L.A., making a life together. No more dreaming about the days when we can go to sleep together. It’s time to start living it.” Luca searches her eyes. “After you graduate, of course. But um, I’m hoping you will come with me now to help me get settled. We could look at some places to live. The team is on a long homestand right now.” 

Liv brings her hands up to Luca’s cheeks. Her thumbs stroke over the stubble on his face and the slight pink on his cheek bones. He is literally asking for her to allow him to make their dreams come true. Nevermind the time apart. Nevermind the choices that got them here- both hers and his. He is asking her to patch this up and come build a life with him. He makes it so simple while still presenting it as if it’s her choice. She can’t help but smile, thinking back to the passage in her book from this morning about not wanting to be someone's option. She wanted to be the only choice too. And now here Luca Fiala is, telling her she is his choice. His one and only- forever, as long as she still wants that with him. 

Her eyes and fingers trace over his lips then she slowly lowers hers to them. Luca inhales deeply, hands coming to the back of her head and hip. He tilts their faces, absorbing her mouth into his completely by connecting their tongues. This is it. Everything that Liv has been looking for the last few weeks was already in her hands. It breaks through like a rainbow after a thunderstorm- a soft glow at first, then vibrant and demanding of attention. She whimpers into their kiss. Luca pulls her into his lap, not letting one inch of air separate them. 

When they pull away, Luca wipes her tear streaks off her cheeks, collecting them all in two swipes of his fingers. 

“I have one request for where we live.” Liv finally murmurs, threading her fingers at the back of his neck. She pecks his swollen lips gently. Luca seems almost drunk as he looks at her through hooded lids.

“Anything. Mmm, anything you want is yours. Just name it.” He mumbles against her lips again. Liv giggles, running her tongue over his bottom lip. Luca rolls her hips into his zipper, building a friction that makes Liv forget her train of thought for a moment. “Tell me. What am I going to find for you, beautiful?”

“It needs to be close to school for me.” Luca blinks, coming a bit out of his lusty haze to look more clearly at her.

“I can… get you a picture of Columbia to hang up in the living room?”

“I don’t mean my undergraduate school. I mean my graduate school…. UCLA.” She widens her eyes at him, giggling at the bright excitement that fills his face immediately.

“Excuse me!? WHAT! UCLA!” 

“Yes!”

“BABY!” He yells, hauling her up into his arms to carry her victoriously around the living room. Liv grips onto his big shoulders for dear life as he basically tosses her around in the air. “I knew it! You were so nervous and I knew it! Of course you got in!” 

“I also got into NYU and Washington University, but my heart wants L.A. It wants to be where you are.” Liv confesses. Luca freezes in place, waves of gratitude and relief swaying in his brown eyes. “Because this also means nothing to me without you. You’re it for me, Luca Fiala. Forever.” She grins at him, then wraps his cheeks up in her hands so she can taste him properly in her mouth again. 

Luca’s hands grip her ass tightly in his hands, then lowers them both back down to the couch. They kiss long and hard, tongues winding into each other until they need to separate for gasps of air.

“I love you.” 

“Oh my god, baby, I love you so much.” Luca groans, forcing her lips to his again. “Fuck, I cannot live without you. Not for one more second of my life, babe.” Liv starts to laugh joyfully, big dimples piercing her cheeks. Luca chases them with his lips, kissing her happiness as if to memorize the taste of it on his lips. 

“Let’s never do that again?”

“Never. Ever. Gonna put you first, I promise. You have a permanent seat right in the front row of one.”

“When do we leave?”

“After you pack a bag. A private plane is waiting for us at Newark.”

“I… have class on Tuesday.” Liv stutters. Sure, she has senioritis but she has to finish out her undergrad strong to be prepared for the horrors of grad school in the Fall.

“We’ll get you back by then, even if I have to fly the plane myself.”

“Oh no.” She chuckles. “I’m gonna pass on that option.”

“I already worked it out with the Kings. We'll tell them tonight you need to be back by Monday night.” Liv nods. Of course, Luca is taking care of all these details. “Your parents?”

“They have another kid here to keep them company. Wanna help me pack?” She asks, stroking the pulse in his neck with her thumb. 

“Mhm.” He murmurs, then picks her up and carries her to the bedroom. 

Sprawled on her bed, Liv texts her parents that she isn’t going to make it to the game or brunch tomorrow, or the rest of the plans they had together. Her parents understand completely, filling her cup with their happiness and I love yous. Liv smiles to herself, then sits back up to see Luca filtering through her clothes. He is picking out all his favorite clothes of hers. He jokingly chucks a Minnesota Wild sweatshirt behind his shoulder to discard in a wilted lump on the floor. 

“Black on black on black, baby.” He holds up black jeans and her black leather jacket. 

“Oh yeah that looks good. Grab that white shirt too.” She gets off the bed, then goes into the closet with him to finish getting everything together. 

When her suitcase is zipped, Luca kisses her, then folds their fingers together before they exit her New York apartment, bound for an sunny, L.A. wake up call tomorrow.

 - - - 

The next morning, Liv and Luca wake up tangled in each other. Their calves hug together, fingers curled up, gripping opposite arms. Liv’s hair is a tangled mess on the pillow the two of them are sharing in the big King bed. It’s early in California. The sun isn’t even up yet, but the timezone change hasn’t caught up to their bodies yet despite their crazy travel schedule. 

That’s okay with them.

They have other things to catch up on.

Like the craving for sleepy morning sex to wash away the weeks they spent apart appropriately. There is no need to ask if there has been any others. Because it’s so evident there hasn’t. In the way Luca leaks pre-cum all over Liv’s stomach from excitement. In the way, Liv begs for Luca to touch her slick folds immediately. But mostly in the way they trust each other. That if there had been others, they would tell the other out of the deep love and respect that has been healing between them since they got up from the couch in her New York City apartment.

The couple settles onto their sides, Liv’s leg tossed over his hips as he adjusts her up to rest on the pillow. His face finds it’s place against the top swells of her breasts for a moment. His lips kiss her sensitive skin, awakening gooseflesh and tightening her nipples. 

“Mmm.” Liv moans into Luca’s hair as he slides into her. Her walls clench around him immediately, drawing him deeper to welcome him home to where he belongs most. He groans, putting his forehead on her collar bone.

“Not gonna last.”

“Me either.” She smiles, kissing his hair. “Move, baby.” She coos when he stays frozen for a few more seconds. “We have forever together.” She reminds him. Luca pulls away, grinning up at her. She kisses his lips, then lets her moan fill his mouth as he thrusts in and out completely. His tip plays with her entrance before bottoming out again. 

“My perfect Livy.” He moans back to her, stroking his tongue along hers. 

Her wet heat pulls him in deep with each pump of his cock. His face buries again into her breasts, nuzzling them with his stubble before taking a nipple into his mouth. Liv’s heart rate increases. Her walls collapse tightly around his. Luca quickens his pumps, using the hips and thighs hockey gave to him to make his girlfriend come so hard she sees white dots fill her vision.

“Shit.” He hisses into her breasts as he comes too, painting her walls with him, coating her the only way she should be for the rest of her life.

Their hungry breathing fills the room, even after they have been satiated once. A dewy, warm glow rains over them. Hope blossoms in their stomachs as they pull apart, moving everything to the shower so they can prepare for the rest of their busy day. 

Liv isn’t sure how she’s going to let them separate for him to go to practice and her to check out her new campus. 

“I’ll see you later?” Luca asks her as she drops him off at the Kings practice facility. 

“Yeah. There’s nowhere else for me to be.” She smiles. 

Luca laughs, then leans into the car for one more kiss. 

“You taste better here.” He compliments her. “Like..” he kisses her again. “Hmmm what is that?” One more smooch grazes across her mouth. Liv feels buzzed on a high from him, anticipating his next words. “Oh I know what it is.” 

“Hmm?” 

“Tastes like wifey material.” 

“Oh stop it.” She laughs, shoving his face out of the car. “Go play hockey.” 

“Laugh now, baby. But I’m telling you, the last time you set foot on that campus for graduation, you’ll have a new title.” 

Shivers of excitement roll off Liv as she pulls away, letting his words echo in her mind. Then she heads south, driving as fast as she can to keep working towards her dreams. 

Read more Liv and Luca here.

[myloveforhergoeson]

ash's november 2024 reading round up

find all the books and fics i read (or didn't read...) this month under the cut with a link to the synopsis and my reviews/ratings attached :)

this is just for fun! i'm not a professional, i just like to read <3

booklist:

despite buying so many books this month. i finished none of them. currently working on funny story by my goddess emily henry....

fic list:

1. assorted works of @partiallypearl/ @praetoravila <3

promise me, i'm never gonna find you fake it

i know you know (i got your heart thumping)

it's nowhere close to closing time ch 2

all over again ch 9

the way you toyed with my emotions this month... jesus christ... from lolive to kogan i love my oblivious idiots in love so much. when i tell you i think about ikyk (igyht) like once a day im being so serious - that is peak lolive to me!!!!!!!!!!! promise me... is just so adorable as well. something about our sweet California girl olive not knowing how to dress appropriately for the winter especially in minnesota.... lord... logan is so attentive!! he loves his gf so much augh!!!! these snippets fuel me while the main timeline lolive are thrust into... whatever they're doing rn... olive's birthday chapter had me in tears ngl. if you need someone to come and beat up her parents, put me in coach! so masterfully written though, the emotions were swirling in my brain ages after i finished the chapter. augh! and nowhere close to closing time... save me... the introduction of the boys were so sweet - it's always interesting to see everyone's takes on majors/areas of study hehe early friendship kogan means sooo much to me... don't worry logan! those glances sure mean something!!!!!! <333

2. assorted works of @selangkir <3

jocy story!!!!

omfggggg god the way you write is just so gorgeous; painting pictures with your words is so hard to do and you make it look so EASY RAUGH!!!!! i really love how you take lucy and jo's typical characterization and flip it, where lucy is a lot more unsure + unconfident whereas jo was the one pushing her to start playing again. i can't really explain why that stood out to me, but i sure loved it!! excited to read more of your work in the future hehe!! <33

3. assorted works of @naquey / @ithinkyouhealedmyheart <3

ghostwriter ch 9-17

30 days of November!!

Drake loves Marnie

Carlos x Reader

such a productive writing month for you - i am so inspired by your creative spirit. the time and effort you put into each one of these projects is clear throughout the work!! wonderfully done and you always leave me wanting to read more... then just my luck a new chapter appears haha! though i'm slowly making my way through ghostwriter, this subset of chapters i read this month had me howlingggg kenonnie (affectionately) make me want to tear my hair out!!!! i love how ridiculous they are and reluctant to admit they like each other (even if i am admittedly team curt... just a teeny bit...) they compliment each other so well! the starstruck chapter was *chefs kiss* in addition, the 30 days of November prompts was such a wonderful way to get to know a lot of the other characters in the story, as well as some of your other characters too!! the flower series is woven together so interestingly + i can't wait to read more!! additionally, i loved getting to know more about drake + marnie in their wedding one shot, it was adorable! idk anything about drake and josh so i'm taking your word as gold on this one... i love them soooo much!! and of course!! your carlos x reader story had me rolling on the floor with laughter!! your take on rames is everything to me.... <3

4. assorted works of @icegirl2772 <3

Take A Shot In The Dark ch 17

AHHHHHHH!!!!!! IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!! STAY CALM EVERYONE IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!!!!!! to be here for this monumental moment in james and kaelyns relationship... wow..... AJFBAJFB im so excited for the next chapters... kendall is going to have to get cool w some things superrr quickly👀 this chapter had everything, action, romance, tension... augh.... like james, i feel similarly about neil. so it was great to see him get knocked around :) love it when my boys get into fights in the name of those they love :)))))))))))))) <3333

5. assorted works of @fiyero33053 / @fiyero0533

promptober one-shot 27!!

promptober one-shot 28!!

hello!!!! once again learning so much about TUA from your stories... prompt 27 was just adorable. had me kicking my feet and giggling and shit. the idea of such a tough guy still being able to get silly and mess around with his daughter.... leading into 28 too! from what i saw of the show, i don't remember diego and allison interacting a whole lot, and i never really got to see them as parents, so this was such a cute idea to bring the two of them together! such a great fall memory together too :)) diego on the phone had me laughing so hard. "[my kids] know when shit's lame" rlly got me rolling! so happy you found a little more inspo from my prompt list heheh!! <33

[oonajaeadira]

Hi Adira!

’Tis the season for some holiday asks!

What is your favorite holiday or winter tradition?

Have you been naughty or nice this year? 

What is your favorite holiday movie?

Kat, my beloved. I got swamped and this ask has been sitting and waiting so patiently. Apologies for the delay, and thank you. <3

What is your favorite holiday or winter tradition?

My big winter tradition rolls around in January-February and it's called Art Shanty Projects. I really don't love to go outside much in winter, but if it's one outdoor activity, this is it!

Unique in all the world, Art Shanty Projects takes place out on a frozen lake in the middle of Minneapolis. Around 20 artists each year build art shanties--like ice fishing shanties, but art instillations! They're open to the public for four weekends and range from just about anything you can imagine. I've seen bands in shanties shaped like a boombox, climbed into a human-scale birdhouse, visited the "world's smallest national park," had documents notarized while learning what notaries do. I've done yoga on the ice, simulated a bee dance with other pollinator cosplayers, meditated, set things on fire, looked through gigantic kaleidoscopes, and helped to weave a massive found-yarn tapestry. (Every year it also coincides with the annual Kite Festival out on the ice and that's when things really get wild.) I've even been an artist myself--once with a performance shanty that was built to look like a Victorian house, and once just being observed wasting time in a beautiful, working mechanical clock shanty. It's fantastic.

(My SO is a carpenter and built both of them.)

I highly recommend just googling "art shanty projects" and just look at the images that come up. It's been going on for 20+ years now, so there's plenty of weirdness to see!

.

Have you been naughty or nice this year? 

I don't know that I've had the time to be either! I feel like I've been under the thumb of time the whole year. I'm hoping I've made an effort to stay nice to people throughout though....

.

What is your favorite holiday movie?

I mean, I will gladly follow the horde with Muppet Christmas Carol, because it is brilliant. I also have a real deep soft spot for While You Were Sleeping. I feel like a lot of the big big Christmas movies are the classics and I didn't grow up with many of those. Never seen It's a Wonderful Life or White Christmas all the way through (not my favorite era of film) and while I loved the Rankin and Bass movies as a child, I'm happy to let them live in my memory. I know a lot of folks love Charlie Brown, but having grown up in Minnesota, all things Charles Shultz always felt shoved down my throat, so I'm not a big fan. I will happily watch Nightmare Before Christmas one million times though. And Edward Scissorhands. This is also the time of year I watched Game of Thrones for the first time and binged Mandalorian seasons 1 and 2 like 5 times in a row, so I'm often in the mood to watch those too.

Do you have any movie recs????