#this is not even tewiifying

[nightguide]

FUCK THE CAMERA: sarcasm turned physical

LIKE THIS WILL HELP YOU SOUND LIKE A SMARTASS WITHOUT YOU SOUNDING LIKE A JACKASS ON TV (INTERVIEWERS HATE YOU BEING SCIENCY WITHOUT YOU BEING AN ASSHOLE FIRST) FUCKING LEE PACE MY ASS IF HIS EYES NOW TURN INTO HIS HAIRY STRAWBERRIES GONNA MAKE YOU DROOP FOR DROOP HIS WORD MAY TRYNA BE YOUR ROPE

P. 357

NEW COMPLEXES HATE TO DIVIDE YOU: PERSONA

I DONT REALLY THINK THEY KNOW THE REST OF IT, EVERYDAY IS FRIDAY SO THEY CALENDAR IRRELEVANT

BILABIAL (RATIO + SCREEN) : ASSHOLE ENERGY

P.22

'IN A MODERN DEATH SCENE, HOPE TURNS TO THE PROFESSIONAL 'HEALTH CARERS' WHO NATURALLY AND PROPERLY CONCENTRATE ON THE EXERCISE OF THEIR TRAINED SKILLS. THE EXPERTISE CAN INCLUDE THE GIVING OF EMOTIONAL SUPPORT, BUT INEVITABLY WHAT IS CHIEFLY REQUIRED IS THE ABILITY TO PREVENT, POSTPONE, OR REVERSE DEATH.'

RATIO: YOU'RE ACTUALLY THINKING ABOUT THE TIME WHERE YOU *BLACKS OUT* AND YOU *JIMMY FALLONS SMILE* AND YOU *STAMMERING OVER 'THE TRUTH' WITHOUT YOU CAMERA SOUNDING RACIST*

SCREEN: THAT IS NOT EVEN ALLOWED SO YOU LET THE INTERVIEWER (FUCKING GOMEZ ADAMS) SCREW YOU UP, SO SELENA TOOK YOUR JEWELLERY FOR FREE

POINT: THAT DUMB. ASS FUCK. STOLE MY CREDIBILITY FOR FREE

BILABIAL MEANS YOUR LIPS, SO SHE STOLE YOUR MICROPHONE FOR A SHITTY SINGLE SHE AINT GONNA WEAR

LABIODENTAL: (SCREEN + CAMERA MAN AT THE BACK) : BIG DICK ENERGY

P. 55

'MANY SUCH PATIENTS REPORTED HEARING A LOUD NOISE WHICH MIGHT BE MUSIC, SEEING DARKNESS, FLOATING ABOVE THE HOSPITAL BED, RAPIDLY REVIEWING THEIR LIVES WITH SELF-CRITICISM, FEELING DRAWN THROUGH A TUNNEL TO A BRILLIANT LIGHT WHICH AT FIRST COULD BE FRIGHTENING,'

SCREEN: IF YOU KNOW YOUR PASHTO (LANGUAGE THAT CAN ACTUALLY BE HEARD IN THE INDO-AFRICAN REGIONS OF THE HIMALAYAS) THEN YOU KNEW ONES ABOUT THE END TIMES, YOU KNEW ABOUT THE WORLD IF YOU'RE ABOUT TO TURN INTO STONE ONE DAY THAT YOU'LL EVENTUALLY LIVE THAT BIBLICAL VERSION OF THE END TIMES LIKE YOU SEEN ON AMERICAN DAD THAT HAD NO POINT THAT YOU HAD SOME INTEREST IN 'LEAVING' LIKE DEMI'S RACIAL BACKFIRE TO YOU

CAMERA MAN AT THE BACK: YOU HATE BEING 'THERE' SO YOU HATE WEDDINGS AS MUCH AS THAT ONE PASHTUN SPEAKER DOES IF SHE WAS DISABLED, NOW TO THE POINT WHERE LEE PACE IS NOW KNOWN AS AN HONOURED MAN. HE CANNOT SPEAK IT BUT LIVED IT, NOW U BLACK AUNTY THAT ESCAPES THE PRISONBREAK SITUATION IN YOUR MIND

POINT: THERE IS NO CAMERA. THE OBJECT IS YOU, THERE IS NO JW UMMAH KILLING YOU

LABIODENTAL MEANS LIPS AND TEETH SO SELENA MADE YOU REJECT YOUR BREATH FOR HER WILL TO GO ON (THAT CONTRACT IS DESTROYED INSTANTLY, THERE IS NO KING OF SWEETHEARTS)

INTERDENTAL: (SELENA GOMEZ + HATER) : STONE COLD (DEMI LOVATO COVER)

P. 137

'IF YOU CRY TO GOD TO PITY YOU, HE WILL ONLY TREAD YOU UNDER FOOT'

SELENA GOMEZ: DIALOGUE IS COMPLETELY YOU BUT THIS IS NOT EVEN WHY YOU HATE HER, YOU HATE ME FOR NOT BEING WITH YOU BUT YOU HATE THE VIBE THAT SHE IS GIVING, SO YOU HAVE A VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD RIGHT NOW THAT SAYS 'DONT DO' THEN OPPOSE THAT, SHE AINT YOUR BOSS OR GOD, YOU SERVE YOUR HEART NOT YA FUCKN MIND.

HATER: LIKELY GOING TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU LET 'THE NEW DEMI LOVATO SURVIVE' THAN THE LATTER OF, YOU KNOW YOUR BESTIES BY BABY THOUGHT AND THATS HOLLYWOOD

POINT: YOU KNOW A GUY AND THATS THE GUY I REFERENCED, KEEP A HEALTHY CATALOGUE OF UR JOURNEYS IS WHAT SELENA HATES, SHE HATES IT IF YOU'RE BETTER THAN HER (PURELY JW)

INTERDENTAL MEANS THE GAP BETWEEN THE TEETH, SO SHE TOOK YOUR WORTHINESS THAN YOU BEING THERE FOR YOURSELF TO LIE AND LET IT ALL BE BECAUSE YOU HATE EVERYTHING

VELAR: (MATT SMITH IN DOCTOR WHO THAN YOU BEING THERE + I HATE YOU DICKHEAD FUCK ASS BITCH DICK HEAD 2) : PEOPLE DYING PURELY BECAUSE THE SHITTY SCENARIO EXISTS TO MAKE SURE THE DEAD IS DEAD OUT OF PETTY TALK

P. 136

'SUCH A CREATURE WOULD BE BOUND TO GO ENDLESSLY MAD.'I WILL CALL NO BEING GOOD'

MATT SMITH IN DOCTOR WHO THAN YOU BEING THERE: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS 'PRIDE' LIKE BE IN THE SHOW IF YOU WANT TO BUT YOU KNOW YOUR FICTIONAL BADASS IS YOU (WHAT LEE KNOWS ABOUT RIVER SEA IS TRUE)

I HATE YOU DICKHEAD FUCK ASS BITCH DICK HEAD 2: YOU HATE EVERYTHING TO LOVE YOURSELF BACK, THIS AINT THE END

POINT: YOU WON. THATS IT.

VELAR IS THE UVULA (DANGLY THINGY AT THE BACK OF UR MOUTH) SO SELENA KNOWS A FAMOUS FAMILY WHO THEY USED TO CONTROL YOU

PALATAL: (YOU + NATIVE LANGUAGE RELATIVITY ON SCREEN WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND ENERGY) : HATE IS ALREADY THERE IN FRONT OF YOU

P. 136

'HELL HAS BEEN BELIEVED TO BE THE FINAL DESTINY OF THE VAST MAJORITY OF HUMANKIND.'

YOU: EVERYBODY HAS A SEQUENCE WHEN THEY'RE WATCHING PUSHING DAISIES THAT I KEEP MOTION REFERENCING YOU TO FIND AND NOW YOU'RE IN IT, AND YOU NOTICE A GIRL WITH LACE OVER HER FACE AND YOU TALK TO HER, WHAT WILL SHE SAY AND WHY?

NATIVE LANGUAGE RELATIVITY ON SCREEN WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND ENERGY: YOU'RE ACTUALLY IN PUSHING DAISIES NOW YOU KNOW MY PIN BOARD CALLED 'SOMEBODY CITY' IS A DAVID BOWIE REFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!

POINT: YOU IN DAVID BOWIES M/V ON HIS WAY BACK FROM MARS, BRO!

PALATAL MEANS TONGUE ROOF AN THATS HOW SELENA EATS UR DREAMS CUZ SHE THINKS SHE DOESNT EXIST, SHE BILL NIGHY DEAD IN THE CAR IN SHAUN OF THE DEAD, SHE LONG GONE BRO. LEAVE HER ALONE

ALVEOLAR: (NOW U IN A ZOMBIE MOVIE WITH SIMON PEGG AN NICK FROST + SARCASM IS YOUR BRAIN) : BRATZ IS YOU NOW

NOW U IN A ZOMBIE MOVIE WITH SIMON PEGG AN NICK FROST: NED STARES AT YOUR PUSSY (MAN OR NOT) U IN HIS ENDGAME LIKE HE MASTERED THE SELENA GOMEZ MAN-FECTION MAN-FUCKTION, THAT IS ZOMBIE DAZE ZOMBIE DAYS AN HE LIVED IT (PD) HE AN THAT STRAWBERRY SQUIRREL CREAM PUFF AT THE SIDE LIKE ALL THE FCKIN TIME (HIS PURE ANTI-WATCH CLOCK ASHLEY TISDALE 9YO CUTE PATOOTIE)

SARCASM IS YOUR BRAIN: GOD HATES BLACK PEOPLE NOW, YOU'RE DEAD (ROOTS: TV SHOW IS COMPLETE)

POINT: YOU EATING WHO?

ALVEOLAR IS LIKE THE BRAIN THINGY FOR THE 'MMMM, YUMMY' BUT EVERYBODY TAKES THAT SHIT FOR GRANTED BUT WITHOUT IT, ITS LIKE THAT FOOD WILL EXPERIENCE THAT SAW RIDE YOU SAW AT THORPE PARK ON YOUTUBE BUT ITS ROCKY AND TERRIFYING TO EAT WITHOUT THE ROOF NIGGA ON THE TOP TAKING YOUR FOOD AWAY TO HEAVEN AND SELENA ATE YOUR PUSSY FOR FREE THINKING YOU THE ONE ON OMITB