#this is not a prussian education system fanblog

[noster-tempus]

I have Covid, for seemingly the first time.

I'm trying to compare it in severity to my normal colds and coming up blank. For one, I just haven't had many colds since the pandemic started. But also, all the colds I can specifically remember were when I was in school. Even though I might stay home from class, I still had to make some effort to keep up with homework, then face a stressful period of catch-up. Sheer adrenaline might make it seem like I had a near-normal amount of energy, but keeping up was even harder than usual.

Now, I've spent the last couple days mostly hanging out on the couch, but I'm able to do the very few things I actually *need* to do. This makes it feel like I simultaneously have more and less energy.

(Another complicating factor: for years, I was confused as to why I sometimes found it easier to concentrate on certain things when my nose was stuffy. My initial theory was that the sensation of a stuffy nose was constantly pulling me out of my daydreams, thereby making daydreaming less appealing and allowing me to focus on the task in front of me. Now, I'm pretty sure it's because Sudafed is a stimulant, and since combining Sudafed with ADHD meds is not advised, the effect is no longer present.)

[noster-tempus]

I think I just figured out why I dread group work so much:

As a "smart kid," I always felt like I was punished both for helping my peers and for not helping my peers.