#this is not a discussion on whether ppl SHOULD be entitled to x

[chaotic-carnifex]

A Small Selection of Human Rights

According to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), the International Covenant on Economic, Social and Cultural Rights (ICESCR) and the International Covenant on Civil and Political Rights (ICCPR)

1.       The right to life (Art. 3 UDHR, Art. 6 I ICCPR)

2.       The right to legal personhood (Art. 6 UDHR) and a nationality (Art. 15 UDHR, Art. 24 III ICCPR)

3.       The right to liberty (Art. 3 UDHR, Art. 9 ICCPR), including the right to be free from slavery and servitude (Art. 4 UDHR, Art. 8 ICCPR)

4.       The right to freedom from torture and from cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment (Art. 5 UDHR, Art. 7 ICCPR)

5.       The right to food (Art. 25 I UDHR, Art. 11 I ICESCR)

6.       The right to housing (Art. 25 I UDHR, Art. 11 I ICESCR)

7.       The right to medical care (Art. 25 I UDHR) / to the highest attainable standard of physical and mental health (Art. 12 I ICESPR)

8.       The right to clothes (Art. 25 I UDHR, Art. 11 I ICESCR)

9.       The right to necessary social services (Art. 25 I UDHR)

10.   The right to social security (Art. 22 UDHR, Art. 9 ICESCR) including social insurance (Art. 9 ICESCR) and to security in the event of unemployment, sickness, disability, widowhood, old age or other lack of livelihood beyond one’s control (Art. 25 I UDHR)

11.   The right to work, just and favourable working conditions, protection against unemployment, equal pay for equal work, a remuneration that ensures for oneself and one’s family an existence worthy of human dignity and the right to form and join trade unions (Art. 23 UDHR, Art. 6, 7, 8 (a) ICESCR)

12.   The right to leisure, including reasonable limitation of working hours and paid holidays (Art. 24 UDHR, Art. 7 (d) ICESCR)

13.   The right to education (Art. 26 I UDHR, Art. 13 ICESCR)

14.   The right to a fair trial (Art. 10 UDHR, Art. 14 ICCPR) and to seek remedy for a violation of their rights before a court of law (Art. 8 UDHR, Art. 2 III ICCPR)

15.   The right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty (Art 11 I UDHR, Art. 14 II ICCPR)

16.   The right to freedom of movement (Art. 13 UDHR, Art. 12 I ICCPR)

17.   The right to own property (Art. 17 UDHR)

18.   The right to freedom of opinion and expression (Art. 19 UDHR, Art. 19 ICCPR)

19.   The right to freedom of religion (Art. 18 UDHR, Art. 18 ICCPR)

20.   The right of incarcerated people to be treated with dignity and respect (Art. 10 I ICCPR)

[medschoolash]

the reactions to got s8 are rlly making me realize how entitled fans have become. now everytime canon doesn't satisfy every one of their whims they're ready to cry bad writing. everyone thinks they're so smart when most of them couldn't even write a script. i've even seen a dumbass redditor proposing to boycott hbo and force them to remake this season like ppl wanted to with the last jedi. i'm tired.

facts

the entitlement shows so much these days. I love making theories and speculating and analyzing characters but at the end of the day the only things I need  answered by the writing to be content is “Does it make sense for the plot?” and “Does it also make sense for the character?”. If the answer to those things is Yes then there isn’t a writing flaw to me. The problem a lot of people have is they latch on to plots in their heads and think that’s the ONLY plot that makes sense. The worse mistake they make is with characters tho. Got fans love to write mountains of meta on characters and their nuance but when it actually comes to down to it they consistently strip them of their nuance when what they see doesn’t suit their headcanons. 

These days any bad decision made by a character is “wow look at the bad writing” instead of maybe just maybe character X is being motivated by situation Y so they do Z. You see it so much when it comes to discussions about Dany and Jon. 

There was this big hoopla about DnD saying Dany forgets about the iron fleet and talking about how Dany’s terrible strategy decision making is terrible and makes no sense when of you just paid an ounce of attention and thought about it, it makes perfect sense for plot and character.  

Literally anything that deviates from what they expect is “look at this writing! look at this assassination” it’s also funny when you consider the fact that we’ve had the same writers the entire series. GRRM wasn’t writing the early episodes he HELPED, the majority of that was still done by the people they swear can’t write anymore. People sit on her and pick apart every single thing and swear they care and understand more than the people who have dedicated their lives to something for 10 years now. People feel entitled to their narratives and their narratives only and everything else is trash. 

Most of these people have no clue how to balance creating a TV show from a book while managing a massive cast and a very convoluted and complex story. This is demonstrated every day by some of the “superior” writing suggestions people give on here that make zero sense and would make shitty television but since it’s their personal wish fulfillment it’s clearly the better idea than what we got. 

This all comes from fans who swear they are smart as hell and could see nuance in a glance but then act like they have to be force fed every part of a narrative that’s outside of their personal expectations in order for it to make sense. 

And don’t get me started on this sudden idea that plot and character and inherently opposed to each other and clearly character should take precedent. The way people disparage narrative decisions for the sake of plot, which is literally something you MUST do with writing or else you’re entire story is a massive disjointed and aimless collection of random character studies is so odd. 

They are like “ugh plot dictates that person must do X even tho the character  I personally think they would do Y instead so clearly this writing decision is terrible and makes no sense” not realizing that any given moment if you have a well written character there are 15 different things they can do or say that make sense for them and the ONE thing they do end up doing usually always serves the plot in some way, whether it be short term or long term.

take the Arya and Sansa plot from last season that people hate. Could Arya have handled her reunion with Sansa differently? Sure, I can think of about 5 other ways it could have gone. Was the way she handled it against her character? Not at all if you actually view Arya as a multidimensional character with her own feelings and past that still influence her connection to other people especially the sister she held a contentious relationship before they were separated. The way arya handled her reunion with Sansa did stick to her character even tho it deprived a lot of fans of the instant stark sister fluff AND it served the plot as well. That’s solid writing even if you didn’t get what you personally wanted at the end of the day. Fans need to realize that every writing decision isn’t about their personal wish fulfillment, if it was that would literally be fanservice which is something everybody claims to hate. Which is the problem here.... everybody want’s their own version fanservice from a story and arrogantly think that their version of that fanservice is the only valid version of a narrative that can possible be written. It’s entitlement, arrogance, and delusion at it’s peak when you think about it. 

Look at the way people swear up and down the lack of stark bonding makes no sense when it actually makes a whole lot of sense of you get over your personal desire to see Stark bonding. These characters aren’t fluffy characters anymore, they have their own pasts and mental struggles that will bleed through every interaction. Suddenly being back home with your family members isn’t gonna erase that just because it’s your family. In some ways it makes it even harder, I mean you only have to look at Jon to see a good example of this. Yet with all this going on people still can’t seem to grasp why the Starks don’ sit around the heart tree and laugh and cry about the old days and reflect on their parents and all they’ve lost together all episode before they leave the Godswood as the perfect wolf pact that operates with one mind and consciousness. Instead of getting that instead entitlement overrides all and makes people believe not getting stark fluff in the middle of life or death with all the pressures they have going on it such bullshit and terrible writing. It all goes back to the belief that their version is the only valid version and there is no other alternative. 

Ultimately tho I feel bad for a lot of people. They are ruining their own experience and nothing can stop them. I have plenty of things I would LOVE to see, things that I think would make sense, but I’m not delusional enough to think that I can figure it all out myself and I’m not arrogant enough to think that I already have, so I watch and digest, critique what I’m not sure of or uncomfortable with, mock what I think is funny, and enjoy what I think worked even if it wasn’t what I expected. To me this makes for a much more pleasant viewing experience that what a lot of other people seem to have going on. 

[notesofarichlycolorednight]

Hi,pal! I'm loving "It's the perfect story"! However, the subject I'm talking about doesn't directly to the fic. By what I know, people don't hate Silena because she was the spy,it's more like they think her being seduced/manipulated into doing it is detracting to her character. Many posts say that's very insulting to teen girls, or her cause should be something like "her cabin was being disrespected"(out of character IMO, but I'll talk about it later)...

Continuation. Or “the demigods were being mistreated by the gods”(not a bad one,but Silena didn’t really feel the worst of the gods IMO. Not like Luke, Chris or Tori in the fic). People are entitled to their opinions, but I disagree. About the “disrespected cabin stuff”,Silena is defensive in a blunt, straightforward way when it happens. Examples: how she wanted to fight the Huntresses when they said love was worthless;or when people were surprised by her magic knowledge,and she looked offended.

Cont. Besides, those behaviors show that Silena can be quite passionate and proud, what probably made her vulnerable to manipulation(her romantic nature didn’t help). Besides, Silena herself thought she was saving lives. I believe Luke’s words would sound truer to her if she cared about him than from a dispassionate perspective. Besides, if Luke managed to lure Percy to near death with a friendly smile and soda,despite Percy’s instincts saying no,I believe he could do it to Silena…

Cont. By what I read, your only issue was the age. However, I think that was something like “death of the author” in canon,as she didn’t get one. In fact, I rather like the idea of Silena being an older camper,including than Charles(if 18 years old girls date boys in their 20’s…),both in canon and in your fic. In your fic,it could make her Tori ’ s peer. In canon,it’d fit the whole “role model” stuff we had going on HoO.

what’s up dude! thanks, i’m glad to hear you’re enjoying it!

that’s how i interpreted it when i read the books (or how i remember interpreting it, at least, i haven’t read the series in a while) like, being the spy meant she was a traitor, which is also a comment abt her character (i.e., may she’s not the greatest person–for the lack of a better word–bc she was a traitor). when clarisses declares she’s a hero, i assumed it was supposed to be juxtaposed to her being a traitor. which is a roundabout way to say that the ultimate end is the same, whereas the perspective is different? but i can see where others are coming from–that the campers would be more mad bc of the fact that she was easily manipulated by luke, rather than her being the spy

i guess i can see where ppl are coming from regarding it being an insult to teen girls (i’d really like to see those posts tho, bc i actually haven’t seen anyone talk abt that–i somehow manage to avoid discourse like we’re two opposing magnets, my d-list x-men power), bc it plays off the stereotype that teen girls are so boy crazy, they’re easily manipulated by any good-looking guy that smiles in their direction. it doesn’t help that she’s a child of aphrodite. and what i mean by that is, i think, ppl often water down what aphrodite is the goddess of. when ppl say, “she’s the goddess of love and beauty” ppl often think she’s the goddess of, “being vain and romantic/sexual love” (not true btw, fite me, i will gladly jump into that discourse)

but anyway, back to my main point, i can see how it may play off a teen girl stereotype (rick is good at doing that sometimes, which isn’t entirely his fault, bc like i said abt toxic masculinity, it’s so ingrained in our society, it’s hard to unlearn and we often fall into those stereotypes if we’re not fully aware of them and consciously thinking about them), but i also don’t entirely agree with that argument, either

now i could be wrong, esp since i haven’t read any of this discourse, so i haven’t read ppl’s reasoning or arguments, but it sounds very surface-level White Feminism™ and what i mean by that is that there are more grey areas to this argument, okay, so put away your pitchforks and put out your torches and, i mean, also that this argument is coming from ppl who want to seem like they’re woke, but then turn around and continue to do or say things that are insidiously bigoted

like i said, i can see how it plays into a stereotype, but if we’re going by rick’s canon (which we totally don’t have to, but for this argument’s sake we are) she’s young and impressionable, luke is handsome and charming–if another young person were in her position, we’d probably see the same thing. young ppl are easy to manipulate, they just are. they’re still learning abt the world, and how it works, and that maybe not everyone has good intentions. not to mention they’re still trying to find themselves, and they look to peers, mentors, and ppl who are respected (for whatever reason) for cues to how they should act and think. it’s like trying on clothes or taste-testing foods–they’re trying out opinions. if they don’t like the “taste” of an opinion, then they learn, grow, and change. some ppl instantly connect with an opinion (which could be bigoted or not) and not explore further, or could be sheltered and just not have the opportunity to experience anything else.

the opinion here: the gods are bad. the person she’s looking to for guidance: luke. plain and simple

and, as you say anon, percy even fell for luke’s charms (despite the warning signs!! and percy is most def Not Straight, so luke was also using that fact against percy as well, whether rick luke knew it or not). so, ya know, there ya go

now, i think rick chose a child of aphrodite, and a girl, bc he thought he was turning a trope on its head–you’d never expect (from the stereotype of what aphrodite stands for) silena to be a spy, to work for kronos of all ppl titans. do you see what i mean? i think he was going for an elle woods effect–except in the polar opposite direction. the ends is the same, where this girl who is often underestimated (like elle) turns out to do something no one expected of her (in silena’s case, being the spy, which takes a lot of guts, nerve, and smarts–the opposite of what ppl expect from aphrodite, based on a reductive stereotype)

and that’s where the real issue lies, not that she was a teen girl, but rather some of the decisions the author made under wrong assumptions

i agree that the alternatives aren’t as sincere or make as much sense. silena didn’t experience a whole lot of strife regarding her mom or the gods in general, so she’d have no reason to hate them as luke does–she’d have no reason to be the spy for luke if he were to simply use that argument to get her to kronos’s side. and maybe she would’ve joined kronos under “her cabin was being disrespected,” however, it was’t being disrespected by the gods themselves, right? not like the minor gods, not like nemesis or hecate. the disrespect comes more from the ppl around her–the ppl who assume the wrong things abt aphrodite when they hear the words “love” and “beauty.” so that alternative reason doesn’t hold a lot of water if you really think abt it

i also agree with you: that her passion and pride made her more easily manipulated, and also that luke’s words would mean more coming from a more passionate and personal perspective. luke fed her lines that played into her character (like how kronos fed luke lines that played into his hatred for the gods). if she felt passionate abt helping save ppl (and it’s coming from someone she likes, someone she looks up to), then she’d  be the spy for sure. if she had a crush on luke, more for him to use against her, right? that’s just how it goes sometimes, ya know? her crush are her rose-colored glasses, add that on top of “you’d be saving lives” and, well, luke’s got her wrapped around kronos’s finger

yeah, the age thing is a big sticking point for me, just bc based on the timeline of things, she’s several years younger than luke (which make his kiss, in my story, really gross). if beckendorf was going to college during tlo, he was probably at the least 18, and silena was probably around the same age. by this time, luke is 23, so that means that she’s abt 5 years younger? is five years a huge deal between older ppl (like mid- to late-twenties and beyond)? not at all. but with younger ppl (teens and early twenties), it’s a HUGE gap in age, and a HUGE deal.

but like you say, i think rick is hitting that point of “death of the author” (esp with more recent events…btw, jason is totally alive and well, and if you think or try to tell me differently, then you can meet me in a denny’s parking lot at 3am), so we can totes not follow canon and age both silena and beckendorf up. not to mention, there’s no specific age that ppl go to college (just in general most ppl starting college are from 17-20) so it’s completely fine for beckendorf to be going to college at 22, 23. and a 2 yr age difference (regarding beckendorf at 20, dating silena at 18) is totes better than a 5 yr difference for sure

i really like tori and silena being peers, and i if i had been more comfortable breaking canon (and knew what i know now, then), it would’ve been fun to write (but eeeyyy, it’s fun to think abt, so there may be headcanons in your future regarding this). finally, you’re right, i think it would make “silena as a role model” so much more powerful if she had been/was older in canon

thanks for sending these in! i had a lot of fun talking and thinking abt all the points you brought up/made, and i hope to continue this discussion, if you want!

[malachitelibrary]

How to Make a Magic Learning Discord Server That Won't Fail

Many people make discord servers for the purpose of learning and sharing magical experiences, which is wonderful! However, many times these servers eventually fail. Here’s some advice so your server doesn’t end up being one of them.

As a general tip, a more specific discord will foster more learning than a general one. In a more specific discord, everyone already has common purposes and experience, thus more chances for complementary knowledge. A green witchcraft discord would get further than a simple “magic” discord; a shamanism discord would have more learning than a spirit work discord. A discord for specifically vampiric spirits/spirit companions would have more learning than a spirit work discord.

Note that the point is learning. Servers where you simply hang out with other practitioners are fun, however their often general nature is not conducive to learning in depth. “Yeah, this spirit species exists and is cool!” does not have the same depth quality as “I had this experience with your X spirits, this is how they manifested to me, this is their energy signature; my experience was different because Q…..but it was similar in Y….”.

On to the rest of the post,

Failure of a server defined as:

People rarely talked in the first place; a lot of people joined but nobody talks, so eventually everyone just leaves

There’s so much drama/BS that nobody wants to go on/people leave

Learning conversations never reach a certain amount of depth; only shallow knowledge is communicated at best. Nobody learns anything.

The server is so poorly organized/structured that nobody has any idea where anything is and therefore defeats the purpose of learning

STRUCTURING THE SERVER:

Add channels as needed, more channels are always better than less. With the “mute” function and the ability to turn off notifications yet still be able to see new messages, there is no reason to limit the amount of channels.

Have resource channels. These are channels centered around a very specific purpose; they are reference channels where only the resources are posted and no discussion should take place. Discussion on things posted should take place in OTHER channels. These are extremely important for organization! Suggested reference channels are bolded, below.

Suggested Base Channels (and explanation):

Rules -duh

Introduction- duh

Structure (roles, suggestions, server-wide announcements)

General -anything goes

Magic general -anything vaguely magical can go here

Divination_readings

Nsfw -duh

Resources_library

Salt_vent -Any salt or vent topics. (May want to set/limit rules to amount of salt [or not]. As some people feel morally bad just for being in a server where people are salty)

Again, make more channels based on what your server is around. The more specific each channel, the better. For example, in an energy work discord, the channels #energy_healing, #energy_experiments, #energy_classification would be more useful than a single #energy_work channel.

Suggested Introduction for a magic learning discord:

Name, Age, Pronouns, What I do (Labels), What I know, What I want to know, General About (Anything else like interests/hobbies/etc can go in the general about).

Feel free to customize this to your server’s needs!

Screening People:

NO MINORS. NO FUCKING EXCEPTIONS!!

Whether they’re mature or not is literally like playing russian roulette (and often times, they won’t be mature/their true maturity level will show at the tiniest problem)

Often poor magical discernment

Often beginners who will have nothing to contribute

Can’t talk about dicks/vag/other sexual adult topics (whether ur bangin spirits or other ppl)

Through tumblr you WILL get those minors who expect you to tag every single “trigger” ever instead of having the maturity to, you know, leave the conversation if a conversation makes them upset/has triggering content. And those minors who do not know the difference between their legitimate triggers  (things that cause panic attacks) versus things that make them uncomfortable (not actual triggers by the psychological definition).

If you let minors in you WILL have to play babysitting, mediator, teacher, advisor, etc; in addition, some minors will feel entitled to it and will get offended if you do not fulfill those roles for them.

My dude if this isn’t enough to convince you to not let minors in. Make a server with minors and see me after class

Do not make the server public/let anyone join freely- trust me, even if you start with only your friends, it WILL grow.

This is also because many people will not be open to talking about certain parts of their practice with absolute strangers. Therefore, trust is necessary to having in-depth conversations.

Limit 30 people. Think of actual classroom sizes- it always gets hectic when numbers go above 30. (talkin actual classrooms where discussion takes place, not lecture halls)

Do not invite anyone you know is easily offended/can’t handle disagreeing without feeling insecure

Do not invite anyone who is very much into the “tumblr mindset” (fits into the above point)

DO invite people who have basic critical thinking skills (will often correlate with not being of the tumblr mindset). Some basic critical thinking skills are:

Understanding that just because someone has a different experience, it doesn’t invalidate theirs

Understanding that a word can have multiple definitions

Knowing that analyzing something and bashing it are two completely different things

Understanding that there are often multiple methods to do things and that they can all be “right” simultaneously

Understand that even with the above point, methods may still be improved upon and some are/can be more effective than others

Able to extract applicable, impersonal info from personal experience

Etc...definitely not limited to this list.

Do not invite anyone who does not fit the salt level (or lack thereof) in the chat

Have mostly people with established practices and experience. Limit beginners to only those you know will put in the work on their own, know how to ask the right questions, and won’t obligate you to hold their magical hand.

This is because with too many beginners, learning/lesson/info/discussion/theoretical conversations will be shallow at best, because they will constantly be interrupted by “What is X??? What is Y?? How does (x basic thing all the experienced people already know) work??” And of course, since beginners have no idea what is going on, they will have nothing to add to the discussion.

Suggested Rules/Base Rules:

Feel free to literally copy/paste these! In fact I encourage it because they are good rules that have stood the test of time. Italicized is commentary/explanation/examples.

Welcome! Please read all rules before you post anything, and write a little introduction for yourself in the #introduce_yourself chat.

RULE ZERO: This is a dictatorship channel. Admins reserve the right to boot people without notice, override our own rules, etc. We say this because we will not tolerate attempts to manipulate loopholes in the own rules.

Yes, you must make it clear as fuck that you rule the server. If your rules and hand of justice are even, then as ADULTS (hint hint) everyone in the chat should understand.

Concerning Publicity/New People

-Do not post the link to this server publicly. Some of us are not comfortable with being publicly associated with paganism/the metaphysical. This includes tumblr and any other internet website.

-Please ask some people for an okay before adding someone new.

-18+ ONLY. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Concerning Problems/Drama (Aka “reasons to not have minors”)

-If you have a problem with anyone in the chat, deal with it privately unless it involves them breaking the listed rules.

-As an 18+ chat you are expected to have the discernment of offensive things of an adult, and the maturity to handle it if offended.

-Since this is an adult chat and adult topics will be discussed, if you ever feel uncomfortable with what it being talked or are triggered, about please remove yourself from the chat; it is your responsibility to leave the channel and calm down. We are all adults here. We are not going to stop a conversation because someone is upset.

-What happens in the server stays in the server. Keep drama that occurs to yourself and don’t go making public posts about it. Don't be gossiping or sending screenshots about what has been discussed here in an attempt to instigate drama or whatnot. If found out, you will be banned.

-Criticism/analysis is not the same as outright insulting/bashing. If you are not mature enough to handle this, please refrain from participating in the debates and/or remove yourself from the server.

-If questioning/analyzing different working methods, paths, etc, makes you uncomfortable, insecure, or feel invalidated, then this server is not for you.

-No reading, scanning, or visiting people, and interacting with their spirits/entities/companions without permission. For privacy, respect, and ward reasons.

-Keep salt/vent discussion to the salt/vent channel(s). Do not dump it in another channel if the vent channel is already busy.

-Yes, we know All Paths Are Valid(™). This assumption should already be obvious before debates. Do not bring this up as a way to distract from a debate/argument as it should already be known.

^^^I’ve seen this happen a lot. How it usually goes down:

P1/P2/P3: (discussing something experimental/controversial, but enlightening nonetheless)

A4: “but we should remember all paths are valid!!!”

A5: “yeah, all paths are valid! We can’t judge anyone, you guys should stop trying to compare different working methods”

A4/A5: (begin complaining about how someone found them invalid)

(the conversation P1/P2/P3 had never continued)  

Learning/Asking Questions

-If someone is asking a legitimate question, if you're going to joke/reply sarcastically, follow up with what you actually know or do not reply in the first place.

-Remain respectful when asking questions. Do not try to force someone to answer a question, especially if it is a personal question/on a topic that makes them uncomfortable.

-You are not obligated to answer questions that delve into territory that is uncomfortable/too personal. If a question is something you do not want answered, just politely say so.

-If a reading/experiment is going on in another channel, please do not interrupt the reading to ask for context that you could easily scroll up for, or attempt to make casual conversation in the middle of others’ experiments. Save your questions/comments for after the reading and/or comment in a different channel.

Server Structure

-We are not super strict on staying on topic, but please attempt to do so and switch channels if necessary.

-Channels (#list resource channels here…)  are resource channels, meaning that they are for very specific purposes. Discussion on things posted should take place in OTHER channels.  Sometimes we forget, that is understandable- but note that comments will be deleted after a time by an admin or mod.

-List of channels and explanation of each channel:

#channel name…….explanation….. (obvs fill this part in)

Writing New Rules/Writing Your Own Rules:

Group rules by type rather than number them. Please trust me on this one, it really helps for organization (plus there’s a 2000 character limit so you cannot have all rules in one post anyways.)

YES HAVE THE RULES IN AN ACTUAL RULES CHANNEL AND NOT TO AN EXTERNAL LINK (like linking to a google doc rather than writing the rules directly into the server).

Admin Skills/Requirements:

Structure/Organization: Poor organization will defeat your learning server very quickly.

Ability to read people and social context: THIS IS HOW YOU BOTH PREVENT AND FIX DRAMA!!

Guts: You’re going to have to kick people. You’re going to have to ban people. You’re going to argue, deal with gross people, etc. Some people won’t like it. Some people won’t like YOU because of it.

You Shouldn’t Be An Admin If You:

Lack most of above AND cannot find someone else who can do what you cannot 

Are conflict avoidant: if conflicts or issues give you anxiety/stress to a debilitating level, do not fucking admin. They WILL happen and if you cannot handle it, you should not admin.

Lack social skills/are not personable: Admin openness sets the tone for a chat.

Are easily offended: Self explanatory.

Hate being questioned: People WILL question your rules/authority occasionally. If you just throw a hissy fit or get passive aggressive when it happens, nobody will respect you, which will result in even more questioning; it becomes a vicious cycle.

Lack critical thinking: self explanatory

Picking Other Mods/Admins:

Of course, they should have the qualities listed in “Admin Skills/Requirements”

Have different strengths; get admins that can do things you can’t.

Pick people who think different from you; they’ll approach problems in other ways and thus you’ll be able to see many ways to solve a problem.

Things to be careful/wary and thus prepared about:

Admins/mods bringing in close friends/significant others/etc: Have you ever had an issue where your best friend/significant other in one friend group and your best friend group in another friend group disliked each other? Even if you haven’t, think about all the ways this could turn ugly. Exercise caution.

Be strict about keeping salt/vent posts to one channel: One thing I’ve seen happen is that if there’s already a conversation going in the salt/vent channel, people suddenly think that it’s alright to start venting in another channel. This interrupts learning/relevant conversations in that channel. If it’s not relevant to the channel (a not-spirit work complaint going in a spirit work channel) the salt/vent should not go there. 

Judgement/Discernment: Let’s make an example. Relevant to the previous point, someone is complaining about a problematic spirit in the spirit work channel. Would this fit your server or not? Now for another example. The vent channel is busy right now, so someone goes to the spirit work channel to complain about their human boyfriend. Would this fit your server?

Enforcing Rules/Kicking/Banning People:

Someone doesn’t have to be a Bad Person for you to kick them. Personality conflicts are a perfectly good reason; and often personality conflicts will lead to more drama than being a Bad Person. While it is possible to work it out with them, often reaching that point of needing to find a workaround already shows that there is an issue. If unresolved, more likely one/both/all of the people with clashing personalities will leave. It's also important to respect that people shouldn't have to budge. But hell, sometimes people dislike each other for pure miscommunication reasons; they may grow to truly like each other but be prepared as that’s usually the exception and not the rule.

It’s generally better to PM an iffy person and tell them in private to knock their shitty behavior off rather than embarrass/make an example of them in front of everyone. People are often more willing to coalesce in PMs where they can be personal/private, rather than in public where they must worry about everyone ganging up on them.

Typical, Example Issues You Should Be Ready to Deal With:

Note: This is not like a school test where there are solid right answers. Issues will always be contextual; these are simply some common examples so you’ll know how vague the “right answer” can be. 

-Someone new enters the chat and it’s clear that everyone is uncomfortable around them due to their personalities. But nobody wants to say anything because they want to be nice. How do you resolve this issue? Do you kick/ban the discomforting newbie? Do you PM the newbie one-on-one?

-You invite your best friend/significant other to the chat. However, quite a few people don’t get along with them. It’s reached the point where a number of members want them to leave or will leave themselves. What do you do?

-This person has been in a while, and many people have noticed that they are…rather noticeably immature. You check their blog. You find out they’re a minor. Do you kick them immediately? Do you make sanctions based on their behavior?

-This person has been in a while, and many people have noticed that they are…rather noticeably immature. You check their blog/intro, and find out they’re 30+ and act this way despite their age. They’re older than you. Immediate kick? Do you try to talk to them?

-Your server was previously a flourishing place where conversations could be taken to extreme depth; discussions with many viewpoints and clashing opinions were common, but everyone had the maturity to not take disagreement as a personal offense and this allowed everyone to learn the best. However, ever since some new people entered the server, these discussions have stopped because disagreement/clashing viewpoints offends them. Do you kick these new people? Do you say they can stay, but they have to suck it up (especially since they are adults)?

-Someone is talking about how they had a bad experience with a deity/goetic demon/other Large Spirit, and clearly needs advice/help. Instead, a devotee of that Large Spirit swoops in claiming any/all of the following: “UMMM Large Spirit NEVER does anything wrong!! You’re a terrible person for saying that!”, “It’s impossible for Large Spirit to abuse humans, so you must be imagining things!”, “Large Spirit only does things in someone’s highest good, so you must have done something horrible, meaning you deserved it!” What do you say in response? Do you tell them publicly, or do you PM them? 

-Someone is suggesting that a magical issue correlates with a mental/emotional illness, with no reasoning other than “I believe in this so it must be!!!” Additionally, it’s very clear that they’ve never had any formal education in psychology or at least read legitimate sources (not tumblr posts) on mental/emotional illness issues. Other people are agreeing with them. Do you school them all? Kick em all?

-Drama happened in the server, and it leaked to someone outside of the server who then confronts the person on their blog. Every shred of evidence points to one person leaking the drama, but when you PM that person about it they claim it wasn’t them. Do you kick the person anyways? Do you keep em but maintain a close watch on them?

Variations on the above one: 

Many people believe it was that one person who leaked it as well.

Most people don’t think it was them, but evidence points otherwise. Additionally, that one person is extremely popular and you think people would like you a lot less if you kicked them.

Nobody is able to pinpoint someone; rather, people believe it is one of the many lurkers of the server. However, that’s still quite a few people, and many of them are your friends who haven’t been actively lately and never gave a reason. 

-People have been coming to you in PMs that they believe one of the admins is abusing their power. You agree; you notice they tend to step on others in conversations, use their admin tools to set demeaning roles to people, and other gross things. You decide to PM that admin about it; what will you say? Should you have a kind or firm tone?

Variation: Some brave souls come to you in PMs saying that you have been abusing your power! Are they wrong? What do you do to the people who say so?

Obviously, the issues are not limited to this list.

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As with all of my posts, this will be updated occasionally as I get better info/advice. Always check the permalink for the most recent version. 

Current Version: September 26 2017

[herefortheace]

lol nothing amuses me as much as all the ppl who get pissed and shitty about us daring to have “discourse” blogs or posting in the tag without wanting to “discuss” all that stuff

Listen 1) we’re not the ones who named it “discourse” and I barely see anyone who thinks this is largely a toxic mess calling it that unironically, we just use the tag bc it’s the (annoying) name that stuck 2) discourse does not mean just a direct debate anyway, 3) I literally do not give a shit u think you’re entitled to my time and energy by virtue of me using a tag

And like you realize ppl from all sides frequently post stuff like “x is depsicable don’t to it ever” and callouts in that tag? And regardless of whether or not we block shitty responses we’re not open to “debate” a lot of stuff as if all views should be listened to?

So you should realize u can generally put stuff in that tag and not want to discuss it... like u know, tends to be the case with tags for basically any topic and issue, so I can’t believe we need to tell ppl to stop trying to get others to not utilize the block function. I respond to ppl often enough but I’m not in this to “debate”, I’m here bc there’s so much blatant anti-ace/aro crap and toxic shit going around that I could not let be.

So yeah respect ppl’s boundaries maybe and stop trying to mock them for them. It’s not surprising how many ppl in this mess have outright ignored mine, including by trying to circumvent my block just to be nasty to me

Toxic crap remains toxic