#this is neither the gruff man nor the evil dog this is the guy who i accidentally asked if he wants to pay to be pegged

[sadclowncentral]

i drunkenly scheduled a friendly brawl with an acquaintance of mine and we both completely forgot about it. that is until we were sitting next to each other in class and both of us get google calendar alert that reads VIOLENCE AGAINST LEW i about lost my fucking mind. what do you mean violence against me.

and then i fucking remembered i completely shitfaced told him to send me an invite to the brawl and even more that i insisted to type something into the notes of the meeting to make it look "less worse" and he opens the invite and it just says PREMEDITATED. most sinister calendar event ever created i laughed so hard i cried

[needleanddead]

hi!! can i have 🤥, 😭, 🍰, 🌺, 🍁, 🙉, 🎀, 🎁, ☁️, and💓 for lucas and teddy pretty please <33

hi!! 🤥, 😭, 🍰, 🌺, 🍁, 🙉, 🎁, 🎀, and 📦 for lucas and teddy please <33 (if this is too lengthy, just choose the ones you want to do!!)

fngbjknfg anon assuming you are the same person so i am putting them together for the few differences between them! below the cut for lengthy post~

🤥 LYING - are they good liars? do they have tells to show they're lying?

Lucas is not a good liar because he doesn't like doing it; he's a little awkward and stilted and gruff. Of course, he's like that most of the time too, so many people still don't catch on to it!

Teddy is a good liar; he's an actor, after all. He doesn't like lying either, but if the situation calls for it, you probably won't notice he's doing it.

😭 CRYING - what makes them cry? do they cry easily?

Lucas doesn't cry easily. He's very solid, very good at keeping his emotions off his face - even when he's extremely upset, he doesn't really turn to tears. The last time he cried it was because one of his chickens died.

Teddy does cry easily; he's the kind of guy who sees a really cute dog and is just in floods of tears because what a good boy. He's more likely to happy cry than to sad cry!

🍰 CAKE SLICE - favourite cake flavour? are they specific about types of cakes?

Lucas has a sweet tooth and will eat most things, but prefers plain old vanilla; he's kind of traditional in his tastes! Too many fancy additions will have him mistrustful of the recipe.

Teddy's favourite cake flavours are strawberry and funfetti! He likes things that are tooth-rottingly sweet. He's not that picky, though; he's a one man black hole who can and will eat anything that's put in front of him!

��� HIBISCUS - do they have any allergies?

Neither Teddy nor Lucas are allergic to anything! Hardy men.

🍁 MAPLE LEAF - what is their favourite season? why?

Lucas likes Spring. He likes seeing all of the leaves and flowers change and spring up; he likes seeing baby animals about the place, likes the opportunity in the air.

Teddy also likes Spring, because he likes the pastel colours and he also loves baby animals and flowers - but honestly, every season has its charms for him! Winter has the holidays, Summer gives him a chance to ogle men wearing very little, Autumn has cosy sweaters and has Halloween--

🙉 HEAR-NO-EVIL - what is the worse thing your oc could hear from someone?

For Lucas, hearing from his captive/beloved that they hate him and will never love him.

For Teddy, hearing from someone he's fond of and considers a friend that they do not really like him, that they're merely putting up with him because they can't figure out how to get rid of him.

🎁 PRESENT - what types of presents would they be most happy to receive? are they good at gift giving?

Lucas would honestly rather spend time with people he loves than receive gifts; he's not a particularly material-minded man. He's not good at giving gifts unless someone has said specifically what they want - if they've done that, his memory is good, and he'll remember. But if it's 'giving gifts off of his own back and choosing them with no help', he's not good at it.

Teddy is happy to receive any gifts, but he has a sentimental nature and loves stuffed animals and pink things and things that really 'match' him best of all - that is, if the gifts aren't practical, which he also deeply appreciates as he's so awful with money and can't always afford to replace the things he needs to! He's good at gift-giving, though his limited budget is often a problem. Many, many people receive stuffed animals as gifts from Teddy - but they are at least very well thought out ones!

🎀 RIBBON - how would they fit into other worlds / aus? what aus would you like to try out? what fictional world would they fit / not fit into?

Both of them are actually from other universes/ projects of mine, gently pushed into the 'murdersim' category! Lucas is from a post apocalyptic zombie universe in which he's the untrustworthy leader of a ragtag band of survivors (and very angry about it too), and Teddy is from an urban fantasy universe in which he's a fairly well-known paranormal vlogger who is really, really trying to get picked up by some kind of unnatural creature (and film it).

📦 PACKAGE - what are some "most likely to..." that can apply to them?

Lucas's high school definitely did this kind of thing; his yearbook, were it still to exist, probably has a picture of him and his childhood sweetheart under the 'cutest couple' category, and definitely they're 'most likely to get married first', 'have children first', etc!

Teddy's most likely to's are probably pretty obvious. Most likely to get murdered trying to get laid. Most likely to die in a very dumb way.

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

Lucas, when he gets too stressed and lonely, talks to his chickens about his day and occasionally responds to them as if they've spoken back to him.

Teddy can't sleep unless he's cuddling something. Usually, that's his partner; but when he's alone, it's some kind of stuffed animal.

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

Lucas is incredibly easy to do this to, if he likes you; let your hand brush against his, smile at him, choose actively to sit as close to him as possible. Just . . . showing that you like him is enough to make his heart start beating a tango in his chest.

Teddy sees someone hold a knife and gets all blushy and flustered. He watches someone beat someone up and doesn't know what to do. Somebody alludes to being able to throw a punch hard enough to knock him out and he's jelly. He's very simple!