#this is my modded transmasc durge

[dispadaferisce]

Getting some mixed signals here, broski.

[themaskstayson]

Saw some new mods and had to test thing them by making a new Durge

Mods used

P4 Bangs Bangs Everywhere

More dreadlocs and curly hairstyles Vol.02

Alternate Horns

Neck tattoo

Trips' Accessory Collection

New Character Creation Presets

Armors for TMTS Body 1 (I'm so happy for this tbh)

(TMTS) Transmasc Top Surgery for Body 3 AND Body 1

Cyrus is his name, he uses voice 3, and currently a bard but I might switch it. He was gonna be an embrace the urge for Minthara but idk yet. Gale has recently been on my mind cause of my Wyll playthrough so I didn't unalive Gale. Also Astarion has been saying a lot of new things to this durge which is confusing me why he's acting invested but I only romance vampire boy once so I'm tempted to romance him now.....

[picathartidae]

I don't remember if I sent you an ask for the Durge Creator questions.... Would you mind answering 9 and 10?

You have not! Thank you for sending one in!

9. How much did Bhaal influence their design or personality in the end? Did you research lore to purposefully get the resemblance or do you just go with the flow and what feels right for the story you want to tell?

For design? Basically not at all, beyond a sudden desire to mod in him having Bhaalist tattoos on my second run with him, and one incredibly stupid idea regarding his voice I had that isn't in the game at all but I've decided to run with it. I had Durge figured for a Bhaalspawn when I first watched the little introduction, so it’s not like I didn’t know that when I initially created him in my first playthrough; it’s more that I figured that since Durge is customisable, I could make whatever the hell I wanted. And I wanted to make a blue tiefling. 

For personality? I mean, kind of? It made sense to me to make Bhaal the thing that defined Alassane — who he is, what he’s been through, how he’s developed, his wants and needs and fears. Astarion and Shadowheart have my favourite arcs in the game, with Cazador and Shar respectively defining them; so I tried to make Alassane’s situation a sort of mix of the two, with Bhaal as the villain. I wanted his journey to feel like it fit in with the other subplots more than anything.

I did a bit of obligatory reading to make sure I understood the timeline, but it really wasn’t the point. I wanted to focus on the abusive dynamic of their relationship and the power Bhaal held over Alassane because it’s more important to me to have themes consistent with those in the game rather than having painstakingly accurate lore (as much as that hurts my poor autistic brain to say, but it’s true). My version of Bhaal is probably wildly inaccurate, but it’s fanfiction and I’m trying to have fun and write what I want to. No one's yelled at me for it yet, but we'll see.

10. How much of yourself can be found in your Durge? Do you share the same personality, taste, a specific feature? Are they who you want to be or who you used to be? Are they entirely removed from you as a person?

All my male protagonists are way too much like me, it’s virtually unavoidable at this point. I write a lot of introverted awkward nerd asexual cis guys that have big accidental transmasc energy because I am a big dumb dumb and it somehow never occurs to me that I can just. Write trans men. Oh well.

Most of the real similarities are kind of tied up in metaphors and themes and how I use characters and fiction writing and fantasy to reflect and self-actualise and process whatever intense thing I am feeling at a safe and comfortable distance. That’s why his redemption arc is so important to me, and why I’m very insistent about not hiding the fact that he is an objectively terrible person who is nonetheless trying to be better. And why I am playing the power of friendship trope completely straight.

What I’m trying to say is that Alassane is a traumatised perfectionist who clings to hyper-competence and leans heavily into a carefully constructed personality out of a desperation for approval and acceptance while living in a constant state of complete identity crisis because I have some things I desperately need to unpack. Writing about these things is how I do that. That’s easier for me to do when it’s against a backdrop of magic and evil mind-controlling cults and brain worms and dragons.

[vodkacheesefries]

So I figured out BG3 actually runs pretty nicely on my laptop and I remade my Durge and then I was like "oh I could use the transmasc mod for them" and I tried watching a YouTube video on how to install BG3 mods and my brain immediately closed all attention tabs because it sounds fucking hard lmao

[maleficore]

"My transmasc Durge having titties when wearing armour is pissing me off. I know a bit of blender, I will mod them away"

*looks up a modding tutorial*

"Nevermind."

[bg3-brainwormed]

more details on "Tav" please

Anon, I don't know who you are, but you have MADE MY DAY.

First off, you may already know this, but for those who don't - My Tav is from my fic "How to Save the World (one companion at a time)" on ao3.

This does, unfortunately, mean that some things shouldn't be revealed just yet. Which has me gnawing on the bars of my enclosure but alas, such is life. But! There is plenty of non-plot relevant information that I can share, only some of which has been revealed in the fic thus far. (As of chapter 8.)

The Basics

Pre-Nautiloid, "Tav" was also known as The Dark Urge, chosen of Bhaal. Yes, my Tav is just a Durge in disguise.

Tav, short for Tavern, short for Tavernus. ...It's a long story. (See white text/first paragraph in "History" and white text/last paragraph in "Present Day" for details.)

Lawful Evil pre-Nautiloid, Chaotic Neutral after

Chosen of Bhaal -> Chosen of Jergal -> Currently ???

Wild Magic Sorcerer

...has always had an interest in music (eventual Bard dual-class)

He/They, transmasc build 3

Not a dragonborn, not a drow, but a secret third thing. They are more drow than anything else, though. (see: Appearance)

Demi-aroace, eventual QPR with the companions. Loves all their companions equally.

However, did have a situationship with Halsin in another life and used to be closest to Gale (see: fic context/present day).

Past Durgetash (future ??? due to ~spoilers~)

Uncanny valley but cute about it. More creature than "human" in actions and somewhat in appearance. Has vocal mimicry skills. Can change sex and minor physical characteristics at will.

Still a cannibal

Hates the majority of the gods and general divinity. Jergal is one of the few who gets a pass.

Honorable mentions include Eilistraee and Loviatar.

Trust, Self-worth, and Abandonment issues. Tries to do the right thing, but their version of the right thing can be... interesting. Also quick to give up on doing the "right thing," especially when someone they care about is in danger.

And most importantly: Ride or die personified

I haven’t been able to find the right mods to make their appearance accurate in-game, but scroll to the end for a wip sketch of what they actually look like.

Now, a read-more. Because oh, is there more.

History/Pre-Nautiloid

They only ever went by "The Dark Urge" before meeting Gortash. Their Unholy Father forbid them from using any other name. It was Gortash who suggested their other names:

Durge (pet name/teasing)

Dark (The Dark Urge, just... without The Urge. Only Gortash was allowed to call them this, though Orin, Ketheric, and Sceleritas all learned it in time. Their 'truest' name.)

Tav (an alias for the outside world)

Keeping in mind that they age like a drow -

Their very early childhood is a blur, spent wandering the planes, fae wild, and Underdak as more creature than thinking being. Eventually, they were found and captured by a group of drow at age 13. They were brought back to Menzoberranzan to serve the group's House.

They were treated less like a person and more like a pet/weapon due to their... abnormalities (see Appearance) and the way they grew up. Was taught language, the lyre, and various fighting styles as part of their role as entertainment. Learned magic on their own. Their only saving grace was having a "female" body and thus some measure of worth. They also hated every moment of it. Hated being the Matron's "tamed beast," hated having to stick to one form/being seen as female, hated the whole society.

When they turned 24, Sceleritas appeared to them the first time and began telling them of Bhaal, promising them freedom and bloody vengeance, etc. The ability to do whatever they wanted whenever they wanted forever.

They resisted only because they had several friends among the fellow servants, but they eventually disappeared one by one. Some were sacrificed, some killed or sold, others bought into the society and religion that Tav hated.

Eventually, the person they were closest to betrayed their trust and revealed to the Matron that they were learning magic in secret. The Matron planned to have their magic sealed and threatened with further punishments, etc.

At the betrayal of one of the few they had left, they snapped and slaughtered the whole House. They have no memory of that night and don't know what happened to their former friend, but don't regret it.

Sceleritas then guided them to Baldur's Gate, where they took up their role as Chosen of Bhaal and began leading the cult age 30. They also learned how to shift sexes and minor characteristics (hair color, etc.) at will, though that was the extent of their ability. Have since spent ??? years loyally following Bhaal and growing the cult.

They tended to give into the Urge very easily but was also very loyal to their people. This led them to gain better control over The Urge, as they had to learn how to direct it away from "their people," much to Bhaal's ire. However, it also put them at odds with Orin after Sarevok began influencing her, as she would just as easily sacrifice a cultist as a stranger.

They also had a soft spot for animals and was often punished for sparing them, feeding the stray cats, etc. Was always a bit sad when The Urge took over and killed them, but followed their Father unquestioningly nonetheless.

Joined forces with Gortash and eventually Ketheric to enact the Absolute Plan. Their own motivations? Their relationship with Gortash? Etc.? To be revealed later, I'm afraid.

They did, however, have fun breaking into Mephistopheles' palace. Absolutely vandalized the fuck out of it on the way out, unknowingly gaining Raphael's regard. They also have plans to kick a certain gnome into either Cania or Menzoberranzan.

And then Orin happened.

Fic Context/Present Day

The first time around after waking up on the nautiloid, everything went to shit. All of their companions (except Halsin, Jaheira, and Minthara) got 'bad endings.' They had been closest to Gale due to their shared curiosity and distrust of the gods, but had not romanced anyone. Had, however, shared a night or two with Halsin, and were in a situationship with him.

The loss that hurts them the most are Gale and Karlach, partially because he thought he could save both of them.

With Karlach, he had thought they had more time, had tried to convince her they could go to Avernus together. In the end, she died too soon for either option.

With Gale, they had grown concerned about the Crown after watching everyone else become corrupted or die and begged Gale to leave it be. He agreed... only to go around behind their back and fix the Crown for himself, disappearing one day without a word. Tara was the one who broke the news to them and thereby pushed them off the edge into a downward spiral.

Before Everything Went to Shit, they also got rather close to "Withers," becoming his Chosen after rejecting Bhaal and taking on a role similar to Arabella's with him. At the 6-month reunion, Withers finds them near the river, mourning the version of their friends they once knew. He gives them the chance for a second try, but only at a "cost."

Tav doesn't know what the cost is, partially because Withers - of course - didn't explain shit, and partially because they're an amnesiac twice over now.

They woke up on the nautiloid with no memories of either past. Additionally, Withers made some... modifications... when he sent them back. On the bright side, they still have access to some of their powers and subconscious manipulation of the tadpole. On the downside, ???

All they have are half-forgotten instincts and faded memories to guide them. They don't know their own name, who they are, or what happened to them, but they do know that these strangers they keep meeting, these broken companions they've gathered? They're worth everything, and they'll do anything - become anything - to protect them. They have also adopted Us and will beat the ass of anyone who even thinks about hurting their creepy little Friend.

I'm sure none of this will have any consequences whatsoever.

Meanwhile, regarding names -

Of the memories Withers yoinked, he also took Tav's names - besides The Dark Urge, that is. However, they have an instinctive hatred of that name - especially after it tried to convince them to kill Gale and Astarion - so they decided to drive me mad by going nameless for the first 8 chapters. Astarion has been internally calling them "Horns" (see: Appearance).

Eventually, the companions came together to try and help them pick a name. One of the ones Gale offered was "Tav." Shadowheart jokingly asked if it was short for "Tavern," and Astarion, who is half-convinced Tav is a demon and just doesn't remember it, replied that "Tavernus" was more likely. Lae'zel approved of a powerful name inspired by the hells, and the group devolved into teasing and debating about it.

Tav found the situation so funny that they decided to keep all three names as a reminder of their companions and new purpose.

Appearance

Unlike the Default Durge we all know and love, Tav is not Dragonborn. ...Not entirely, at least.

I am of the firm belief that nothing created from the flesh of the murdergod will be a plain or straightforward anything. Bhaal has too many doppelgangers and Slayer-shifters and just straight up shapeshifters in his bloodline for me to believe Durge would JUST be a dragonborn, etc.

For this Urge, that manifested a couple ways. First, as mentioned previously, they can change genders and minor things like hair color at will. However, unlike Orin who can shapeshift into anything, they were "born" puzzle-pieced together and permanently stuck that way.

Tav is a dragon/tiefling/drow chimaera, created by Bhaal getting a little too over-eager in unmodded character creation. Their base is a drow, but they also have dragon horns and scale patches from default durge. Their tail is scaled and overall shaped like a dragonborns, but also tipped like a tiefling's. Their eyes are tiefling's and they have natural fire resistance.

Along with these come claws and fangs/sharpened teeth, though both can be changed to "regular" form at will. Tav doesn't actually know this one yet and has only subconsciously activated them once.

Since I haven't been able to find mods that can give them horns, fangs, and/or a tail in drow form, their screenshots only have their base form + transmasc mod. I do have a WIP character sheet for them, but have only had time for a quick sketch so far.

[maleficore]

@hylorien ask and you shall recieve!! it's a big one tho so lookie under the cut

UI and general must-haves

Diamond Dice - the prettiest dice

Infinite Dyes - self-explanatory, with no preview of how your armour is going to look like it's pretty much necessary unless you want to go broke

Extra Dyes - the Ocean Tides dye from this pack is my go-to, I just love it sm

Remove Bloodless VFX - makes for a less annoying capri sun experience

Camp Event Notifications - LOVE OF MY LIFE... there were so many cutscenes I have never seen before installing this mod and resting every time a notif pops up

Purchasable Camp Clothes and Underwear - to get Gale out of his jammies and put Shadowheart in something that does not look excruciating to sleep in

Party Limit Begone - I just hate switching people around, and yeah the battles become a bit easy but that's nothing switching to tactician can't fix

Dynamic Sidebar - a must have with the above mod because at some point the game makes you scroll through portraits and it's such a bother, plus it looks nicer to have the thing disappear unless hovered over

Some Melee Weapons On Hip - puts shortswords and a few other weapons on the characters' belt instead of back, has a version that adds visible shields too and that's the one I use because it's a bit weird for Shadowheart to seemingly pull her shield out of her ass during combat

Stackable Items - what it says on the tin, items that used to take up your entire inventory screen after skipping vendors for a bit now stack

No Intro - because it takes too much time lol

Contextual Dialogue Buttons - most only show when hovered over, makes for nicer screenshots when you want the subtitles visible (so no F10)

Gameplay

I try to not go too overboard on these and stick to stuff that's lore-accurate but

Paladins Deity - lets you swear your paladin oath to a specific god, a feature that's technically there, but unusable in-game for some reason

Immersive AI - rewrites combat AI for nearly every enemy so that they act in-character even when fighting, author has plans to add companions to the list too, but in the meantime...

Companions AI - it's a bit whacky and I admit they don't act the smartest when you turn it on, but it makes for a fun experience when you're playing the game for the 26737859 time and can't be bothered

Better Dark Urge - makes Durge actually feel unique to play, causes you to go whacko mode if you fail a saving throw during combat

Divine Soul - ngl I got this one for Durge specifically because I want them to be a sorcerer, but none of the subclasses available fit the vibe for me

Tiefling Claws - because it's cute and I think they should be able to

Half-Tiefs - not that lore accurate for 5e, but I like variety and being able to visually do whatever I want

Cosmetics

I'm not gonna babble much here, these are what they say lol

Unique Tav Custom Appearance - putting this one first because to me not having custom bodies show up on NPCs is a must, no more boobless Minthara when you make your Tav flat-chested

Horns of Faerun

Transmasc Top Surgery

Transmasc Clothing Pack

Ellian's Hair

De-Accessorized NPC Hairstyles

Loulette Heads

Vemperen's Other Heads

Male Heads - FF14 Emet-Selch - this is where Ezra's head model is from tehehe

Alternate Wyll Horns - because in vanilla he looks like a coat rack

Faces of Faerun

Astralities' Hair Color Supplement

New eye colours

Weeviljester's Ethereal Heads

Vessnelle's Hair Collection

New Character Creation Presets WIP

Ghouls Customization Compendium

Some Heads For Bodytype 2

Basket Full of Equipment

Transmog Enhanced - to put BFoE visuals on regular armour and camp clothes

Tav's Dadbod - I think this one is usable with Unique Tav, but I use it as a replacer to make Halsin chunky

No Abs for Companions and PC - restores balance to the force

Natural Breast Shape - I use the small version of this if I don't feel like making my character completely flat

More Mage Gear - for Gale ❤

I downloaded the Better Dark Urge mod to give the origin some more actual gameplay and the main feature of it is a small chance your character will lose control of themselves for a turn after making an attack. Which makes it an absolutely hilarious combination with the mod I use to have the companions act on their own accord during combat because it's like...

Ezra uses firebolt, fails a saving throw against the Urge, turns to a party member in a fit of bloodthirsty rage, the party member's AI goes "Oh fuck you, no you don't" and they immediately knock him flat on his ass 😂