#this is my first time drawing shattereds newest design

[sunnymainecoon]

All I have to say is I had the most fun drawing the (technically) dark cream one

Uhh but I've been thinking a lot about my creatures lately...

[yulesarts]

i have finished designing and drawing them... these are my newest hnk ocs' final designs!!

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Background

Vivianite was born within a deposit of iron on the beach of beginnings, formed between fragments of ancient human bones long since fossilized with the aid of the sea water. They were one of the first gems to be born. Not long after came Erythrite, born near a cobalt ore deposit, thus gaining the colour they have. The two are similar in structure, and became bonded as siblings.

They worked as a pair for a while, but Erythrite was captured by the lunarians and Vivianite was left distraught. Due to this, he isolated himself for decades, furiously doing research into the gem shards that came back from the lunarians. 300 years later, a new Erythrite was born. Vivianite was conflicted over this - the ghost of their old friend has come back to haunt them in a way, although he is completely different from the previous Erythrite in every way possible. Vivianite chose to keep his distance, but watched over the young Erythrite nonetheless.

Nowadays, he simply keeps to himself, either doing research and experiments on things he finds interesting, or out doing fieldwork and noting down new species when he finds them. The younger gems both fear and respect him, as he's the oldest out of all the current gems.

When Phos asks Vivianite to follow him to the moon, he agrees to go. Part of it is morbid curiosity, anothher part of him is tired for having lived so long, and he yearns to see the old Erythrite once more. During the moon arc, he becomes part of the lab team trying to figure out how to bring the shattered gems back.

BIOGRAPHIES

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Vivianite "Vivian"

Hardness level: 2

Stiff, Loner, Morbid

Role: Biology Expert

Relationships

→ Erythrite: Sibling/Ex-partner

→ Rutile: Mentee

→ Padparadscha: Old friend

→ Yellow Diamond: Old friend

→ Lapis: Research partner

HCs:

The areas of him where there is bone are stronger, helping to protect against attacks

Helped mentor Rutile when he came into existence, later on helps him with Padparadscha

Gets excited about the organic life forms easily, wants to know all there is to know about them

An expert on gem biology

His human AU counterpart would be a coroner

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

Erythrite "Eryth"

Hardness level: 2.5

Loud, Energetic, Straightforward

Role: Architect/Patrol Duty

Relationships:

→ Vivianite: Cool senpai

→ Sphene: Close colleagues

→ Red Beryl: Fashion friend

→ Diamond: Gossip friend

→ Euclase: Games friend

HCs:

Fixes broken parts of the building

Learnt how to make glass, favorite past time is making stained glass pieces

Friends with almost everyone, easy to get along with

He goes on patrol very occasionally, and only reports back to the others when he finds a sunspot

His human AU counterpart would still be an architect

[ghastghoul]

My Transformers OC compilation, for funsies:

Okay so the first OC that I designed while watching the G1 cartoon and Transformers: Animated for the first time in forever was Shift Click.

G1 Design (with a bonus sketch where I drew him in a comic style):

I'm not too great at drawing vehicles atm so I decided to make a minibot that became a computer mouse to make up for that. I'd like to think that his best ally/friend would be Blaster since he was actually my favorite side character from the Autobot roster, along with Jazz. Shift Click the type to take up human culture like a sponge but isn't very open about it and he enjoys humanity's various takes on robots in media.

Transformers Animated Design:

In TFA I see him as more open, but he never sees Earth. He hates Sentinel whenever he sees the mech and he's honestly a bit isolated by what he does. When his skills aren't being used to get intel on the enemy then he's not doing much as he's on the lazy side. I'm not sure if his alt. mode is the same as his G1 counterpart (computer mouse), honestly.

I also played around with the idea of him as a Decepticon, not canon to his lore but for fun:

Then I have another TF:A OC named Pulldown:

His alt. mode is a drive-in theater projector. He's an ex-Decepticon that used to work with Swindle, his projection abilities once being used to show off products Swindle tried selling before having a falling out. Pulldown tries very hard to hide his past but he honestly sucks at it, poor fella. He also lies when he ends up on Earth and claims to be part of Autobot intel, but that's debunked fast and it forces him to be honest.

Now we've got my wonderful ✨️babygirl✨️, my ✨️pookie✨️, my love - the Beast Wars OC I designed named Shatter Fang:

Shatter Fang's beast mode is a Moray Eel. His protoform was thought to be lost to the sea after the Predacons dropped his pod into the salty waters below their battle ground, devastating the Maximals trying to salvage him. Cheetor later finds a moray eel swimming oddly close to the water's edge and realizes what happened, that the protoform had not only survived but had taken on a beast mode, and he's elated when he gives Primal the good news.

His processor is a bit wonky as he often confuses similar words with eachother when speaking (Ex: instead of saying "My apologies," he may say "My sorries"), but he has a respectable spark and (later on) the passion of a warrior. When he meets the Maximals he's wary and afraid. Optimus Primal decides to let Dinobot act as his mentor, teaching him how to fight in this war; but when Shatter Fang encounters a Pred for the first time he fumbles and attempts to run from combat, at least until Dinobot accuses him of being a total coward unworthy of respect. After helping his new allies win the fight he decides to dedicate all his energy toward earning the respect of his mentor as well as his other Maximal brethren.

And finally, my newest OC named Wavewader:

Since he's so new I don't have too much on him at the moment, but his submarine alt mode was actually inspired by SuBlue Water Scooters and just stylized submarine/ship designs one may see in animation.

If I had to give any feel for his personality so far, it's very calm and easy to be around. He gets down to business as it's needed.

[lilsk-n]

my original idea for Delilahs makeover actually came from astralspiffs newest fnaf fangame video, i was instantlly enraptured by the so called "withered mermaid babe" and how she moved so uniquely compared to all the other animatronics in canon, say maybe shattered monty.

The fan game Five Nights at Chica's Party World is made by Jurassic ARK Games, and you can find out more about it over here https://gamejolt.com/games/ChicasPartyWorld/491556

(image from DarkTaurus youtube video simply because my computer can't handle playing the actual game)

(immediately had to try and draw her lol)

From the extras mode i found out that Felix the Shark was an actual animatronic who dubiously exists in the fnaf well. everything. From him i found out we actually have an at-least-canon-to-her-specific-book canon mermaid animatronic! Delilah the Mermaid!

in Tales from the Pizzaplex #4: Submechanophobia Delilah is one of the animatronics the novels protagonist is tasked with fixing. according to the books description she has faded red hair and a missing eye, which one of the older versions of the bookcovers depicts actually! She also looks way more human in the oldest version, but there was two other bookcovers, and the newest one has a more anime esque mermaid with blond hair pink eyes and both arms and hands! which, well she didnt originally have. (I've yet to actually read the book in its entirety but its in the plans.)

..shes seen better days for sure!

as you can see i took great care in trying to take stuff into account for this one, but certain stuff just wasnt visible in her original design.

i did debate on wether she had a very faint tattered skirt or a side fin, which is what i ultimately decided to go with!

first i tried to trace and copy what we could see from the cover and then extrapolateda few thing from there, such as her torn off jaw and neck, hands and arms, and her tail!

for her headpiece i decided to give her more pearls, as it looked so sparse and it mightave become broken during all that time, and gave her those really cool sidefins! at first i debated in making htem somewhat operational, like ive seen on some dolls and other irl animatronics, but decided not to.

- like so! (photo credit (and doll credit) https://www.flickr.com/photos/le-tama/10051269873)

Ultimately i think she came out really cool!

though i did have some ideas about how i would design her for my au, which this whole reconstruction was all about, and my firsts thoughts was some sort of cool animatronic mascot buddy! similar to funtime freddy and bonbon, in the way that bonbon replaces ft!freddys hand completely, and the cupcake from the original first line of games!

(you can see my amazing try at drawing th ecupcake from memory before i looked up a reference)

I was also considering some other sea creature as the animal companion to her design in my au.. as my au is a combination of more than one thing but in the Freddy Fazbear Pizzaplexs setting. The whole idea si to try and imagine it without the well. osha violations and most of the murder.

thats it bye!

[ghastghoul]

I actually have more than I thought I did 😭! Didn't even realize it until I saw this post and gathered up some of my better sketches for them!

My first OC that I designed while watching the G1 cartoon and Transformers: Animated for the first time in forever was Shift Click.

G1 Design:

I'm not too great at drawing vehicles so I decided to make a minibot that became a computer mouse to make up for that. I'd like to think that his favorite ally would be Blaster since he was actually my favorite side character from the Autobot roster, along with Jazz. He's the type to take up human culture like a sponge but isn't very open about it and he enjoys humanity's various takes on robots in media.

Transformers: Animated Design:

In TFA I see him as more open, but he never sees Earth. He hates Sentinel whenever he sees the mech and he's honestly a bit isolated by what he does. When his skills aren't being used to get intel on the enemy then he's not doing much as he's on the lazy side. I'm not sure if his alt. mode is the same as his G1 counterpart (computer mouse), honestly.

Then I have another TF:A OC named Pulldown:

His alt. mode is a drive-in theater projector. He's an ex-Decepticon that used to work with Swindle, his projection abilities once being used to show off products Swindle tried selling before having a falling out. Pulldown tries very hard to hide his past but he honestly sucks at it, poor fella. He also lies when he ends up on Earth and claims to be part of Autobot intel, but that's debunked fast and it forces him to be honest.

Now we've got my wonderful ✨️babygirl✨️, my ✨️pookie✨️, my love - the Beast Wars OC I designed named Shatter Fang:

Shatter Fang's beast mode is a Moray Eel. His protoform was thought to be lost to the sea after the Predacons dropped his pod into the salty waters below their battle ground, devastating the Maximals trying to salvage him. Cheetor later finds a moray eel swimming oddly close to the water's edge and realizes what happened, that the protoform had not only survived but had taken on a beast mode, and he's elated when he gives Primal the good news.

His processor is a bit wonky as he often confuses similar words with eachother when speaking (Ex: instead of saying "My apologies," he may say "My sorries"), but he has a respectable spark and (later on) the passion of a warrior. When he meets the Maximals he's wary and afraid. Optimus Primal decides to let Dinobot act as his mentor, teaching him how to fight in this war; but when Shatter Fang encounters a Pred for the first time he fumbles and attempts to run from combat, at least until Dinobot accuses him of being a total coward unworthy of respect. After helping his new allies win the fight he decides to dedicate all his energy toward earning the respect of his mentor as well as his other Maximal brethren.

And finally, my newest OC named Wavewader:

Since he's so new I don't have too much on him at the moment, but his submarine alt mode was actually inspired by one of these:

And the unique designs for submarines or ships that you may see in animation.

If I had to give any feel for his personality so far, it's very calm and easy to be around. He gets down to business as it's needed.

Reblog this and show me your Transformers OCs, please and thank you

PLEASE I love seeing people's transformers OC's so much

And feel free to absolutely info-dump about them, I will read all of it. ALSO if anyone has sparkling oc's theyre willing to share (whether from canon or oc characters) I will die of happiness.

[samsaraandbeyond]

OC Introduction: Cryge

Art drawn by Teh-Ray  

A new character or a fusion of two? Technically both are correct.

Design

FUSE CRY

WITH KAGE

AND YOU GET???

Abilities / Traits

Sonic Voice

Mike Ability (Kirby)

A voice that can shatter glass, ear drums, and blow away objects! Cryge's mastery of this technique enables him to choose who or what is affected by this ear bleeding screech and where its directed.

"First up, Cry's Hyper Voice. Let me cover my ears first, alright?" - Zhel

Electricity Manipulation

Jin (Tekken)

Zed (Disgaea)

An ability Cryge had since his creation. Useful for amplifying blows or bringing technology back to life.

"Next up, the lightning stuff. Hit me as hard as you can!" - Zhel

Adept Fighter

Jin (Tekken)

Cryge is a natural prodigy when it comes to fights. His style implements his electricity based abilities, extending the range of his attacks.

"I didn't think you'd pull off something like that! Seems this was a success!" - Zhel

Personality

Unlike his two inspirations, Cryge is pretty quiet, usually saying just enough to convey what needs to be said or giving one word responses. He's capable of speaking like everyone else, but finds not speaking often to be entertaining as people say "he has an air of mystery around him" as a result.

He still has the thrill-seeking habits of his inspirations however, tending to get into highly avoidable dilemmas.

"Heh." - Cryge

Backstory

Samsara created many forms of life. Zhel wanted to follow in its footsteps, just once.

Zhel recalled seeing Cry and Kage some time ago. Drawing a blank on ideas, they decided to use the brothers as templates for their attempt at creating life. Not wanting to give those two a surprise addition to their family tree, Zhel made sure that their newest creation would only share their looks and not their blood.

Surprisingly, it was a success. Cryge was born without difficulty.

This was great! Zhel's first attempt at creating life turned out well! What could they possibly make next? Servants? Another Zhel? Why stop at one being? They could create a whole new wor-

Cryge had wandered off as Zhel was distracted. The cat looked around confused as there wasn't a trace of the wolf to be found. They let out an exhausted sigh.

"...Guess he can go enjoy himself. What's the harm." - Zhel

[hisunshiine]

To All The Men I’ve Fucked Before ; (M) jjk

↣ When your secret 'sex' journal entries are somehow texted to the people they were written about, including a couple of coworkers and your best friend, you find your quiet work existence turned upside down. based off of TATBILB.

moodboards | playlist | Netflix ReImagined BTS Masterlist | TATMIFB masterlist 

↳ #NetflixReImaginedBTS: Jeon Jungkook x Reader starring in a fake dating au, photographer!JK, stylist!Reader

⟢ pairing: photographer!jungkook x stylist!reader

⟢ word count: 30.7k

⟢ genre + warnings: nsfw 18+, fake relationship, smluff © & angst, kissing, fluffy fake relationship cuteness, jealousy, jungkook needs help with feelings, clothed humping, explicit sexual content in the form of unprotected sex, multiple orgasms, body worship, cunnilingus, fingering, handjob, hickies, blowjob, creampie, begging, strip tease if you squint, baby petname, crying, feelings of heartbreak, oh did i mention angst? namkook fist fight, minimal arguing, minimal blood, other idols make brief appearances, OT7 is present 

⟢ summary: When your secret 'sex' journal entries are somehow texted to the people they were written about, including a couple of coworkers and your best friend, you find your quiet work existence turned upside down. based off of the netflix film and novel by jenny han, but different.

⟢ an: hello, hello! this is probably my favorite story to date that i’ve written and the longest one shot! I am so grateful to everyone who helped me by reading this (most are not on tumblr), but especially my baby hana, @taestulip​, who always reads and hypes me up. the movie/book series it’s based off of is honestly one of my faves, and turning it into an adult version was a lot of fun! I know i took out some characters and changed a lot of the plot devices, but for good reason, as it is it’s own novel, I did not want to encroach on that territory. fake dating au’s are some of my absolute faves and so i hope you enjoy this! sorry for the length, sksksks.

⟢ prologues: NJ & Reader | Love Triangle (coming soon) |

The large glass building was located on the corner of the block, in the heart of the city. A sight to see from all corners of the downtown area, you loved that you worked at BigHit Music. Of course, housing the globally recognized idol duo, SeoulM8, made working there fun. You walked into the building, and swiped your badge as you made your way through the secured entrance and up the elevator to your office. 

The gold plaque on your door highlighted your name and position. To this day you’re still in awe to see your name engraved in sans serif with the words “Lead Wardrobe Stylist” written beneath it. You entered the office, flipping on the lights and smiling at the large board along the back wall. It was covered with the designs you would need for the upcoming shoot for SeoulM8’s fan content, first single off their newest album, and plans for the concert wardrobe as well. 

Placing your empty insulated coffee tumbler on your desk, you set down all of your belongings, organizing your design tablet, notebook, and favorite writing utensils before once again taking the tumbler in hand. A cup of coffee would be perfect to start your busy Monday before your meeting with Jimin and Taehyung about their wardrobe later today. 

Walking into the employee lounge area, you set about making your coffee. Others walked in and out, dropping off packed lunches and grabbing coffee as well, so you can’t help but hear the gossip as two of the women who work with SeoulM8 discuss the latest office drama.

“I can’t believe it. She broke up with him!” Becca said, her colorful pixie cut swaying slightly as she shook her head.

“She’s crazy, Jungkook is gorgeous; have you seen his thighs?” Theresa responded, twirling her dark purple curls in wonder.

You stirred in the caramel creamer slowly, listening to their conversation. Jeon Jungkook and Jeon Somin (no relation) had been dating for almost as long as you could remember. It was surprising to hear that they were broken up. 

“Somin is really pretty too, though, she could have any guy… What if that’s what it was?”

“You think someone better than Jungkook came along and wooed her?”

“I mean… I swore I heard a rumor that she went out on a date with one of the actors, but who knows. All we know for sure is that Jungkook is single.” 

Finishing your coffee, you closed the lid to your favorite cup and left the room, smiling politely to Becca and Theresa who provided you with the information that had your head reeling. The entire walk back to your office, and even once you were seated at the desk, you couldn’t stop thinking about Jungkook and Somin.

Somin was one of the first friends you made at BigHit School for Music and Artists when you transferred in after completing your AA requirements at another university. BHSMA operated differently than traditional universities, converting students to employees at the company associated with the school. It was where you met Jungkook, Jimin, and a few other people that you worked closely with at the company. After that first year though, you grew apart from some of the people you spent that entire first year with, making new friends, like the one walking in through your office door.

So lost in thoughts of the past, you almost knocked over your perfectly made coffee onto your design tablet, where you had been sketching aimlessly. A dimpled smile was the cause of your quickly beating heart, complimenting the face of Namjoon, who startled you when he called your name loudly.

“Joon, I swear, one day, you will be the death of me, and my electronics.”

“Listen, you dropped your phone all on your own, no one told you to be scared when I walked into the room.”

“Stop being so fucking loud when you enter, you startle people!”

He just laughed, his pretty eyes disappearing as he expelled joy. Namjoon was glowing, his tanned skin looking healthy and youthful. You couldn’t help but smile at him as he pushed his falling platinum hair out of his dark eyes and set his gaze on you.

“I think I’m gonna do it today, Y/N.”

You froze, smile still on display, but a little less enthusiastic than when he had first walked in.

“Do it?” You asked, wary as you saw his hand drift to his inside coat pocket.

“I love her, Y/N. I think I’m gonna ask her to be mine, always.” Namjoon removed a small velvet box from his pocket and you reached for it, hand trembling slightly. Namjoon, in his excitement, was oblivious to the way you shook, as well as the sound of your heart splintering. “Do you think Jennie will like it?”

Looking at the ring tucked into the box, you nodded, not trusting your voice. Of course Jennie would. It was beautiful. A rose gold band with an opulent Moonstone set in the middle, and two smaller diamonds set on either side. You knew that the moonstone was Joon’s favorite, he talked about how much he loved the moon countless late nights that you would sit with him in his studio.

“It’s gorgeous, Namjoon.” You said quietly. This time, he noticed the tremble of your voice, and stood worriedly from where he was perched on the corner of your desk.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?” He asked you, concerned by your demeanor.

“Nothing, I’m just so happy for you.” You lied, tilting your head back to blink away the forming tears. Believing you, he enveloped you into a hug and you hugged him back tightly, afraid to let go.

“Ah, you have a meeting soon and I’m here making you cry… I’ll see you after and tell you how it went! Good luck, Y/N!”

Namjoon exited your office, footsteps light as he headed towards his future… and away from you. Sinking into your chair, you take several steadying breaths in order to settle your heart. Why did it hurt so much? You had given up on the idea of you and Namjoon a long time ago. This wasn’t what you expected to have to deal with when you arrived to work, but you were a professional. Wiping your smudged eyeliner to clean up your makeup, you looked down at your design tablet, where you see the sketch of a professional camera held by a large hand up to a large doe eye half finished on your screen. 

Hitting the “new” button, you begin to draw anew on a clean canvas creating the concept for the concert design for your meeting with SeoulM8 later on.

—

Sitting at home, you massaged the soles of your feet as you rested on your couch with your younger sister, Yuna, who was doing her homework at the coffee table. It had been a long day, but Jimin and Taehyung loved your idea for their concert concept: young guys traveling Seoul for group songs, and angelic, soft individual images of them with feathered outfits to match their solo songs. 

“Yuna… Namjoon is getting engaged today.”

Your sister stopped working, turning to look at you with eyes wide. She had been diligently studying for the cosmetology courses she was taking at your alma mater in hopes of getting hired at the same company as you. This news threw her off track.

“What? He—wait, what?”

You nodded, letting out a deep sigh as you turned towards the floor to ceiling windows in the living room. Rain was steadily falling, the perfect backdrop to your mood.

“Both of our dreams are shattered. He showed me the ring and said he was proposing today. To Jennie.”

Yuna flung herself onto the couch dramatically. 

“Can we please drink to drown our sorrows? This homework can wait.” 

You nodded, turning on Netflix before getting up to grab the wine and glasses. While you stood on tiptoe at the edge of the counter, reaching up into the tall cabinet for the long stemmed glasses, the doorbell to your apartment rang.

“I’ll get it!” Yuna yelled, and so you clambered onto the counter, knees digging into the marble as you finally managed to reach your goal. 

“Oh! Namjoon?”

You almost slipped from where you were perched, confused as to why your newly engaged best friend would be loudly squelching his tennis shoes into your apartment and not ravishing his fiancee. You expected a text or call about the engagement, not a personally delivered update. 

You wouldn’t be able to pretend this time. 

Turning to look at the entryway, you see a downtrodden and sopping wet Namjoon, eyes rimmed red from crying.

“Joonie?” Your voice was soft, questioning. He maneuvered across the kitchen with just three big steps and pulled you into his arms. His body slotted between your thighs where you sat on the counter after almost falling, and he let loose a sob that broke your heart even more than earlier.

“Joon, what happened?” You asked, scared.

“J-Jennie… she said no.” Your eyes widened in shock, but you waited patiently for him to continue. “She’s moving to Japan, she took that expansion position… She broke up with me.”

—

It was a long night to say the least. 2 wine glasses turned into 3 once Namjoon had shown up. You grabbed some of his spare clothes for him to change into, threw his stuff in the washer, and joined Yuna and him back in the living room where they had both curled up and began watching The Start Up on Netflix. 

Climbing onto the couch, you wrapped your arm around him and placed your head on his shoulder. He kissed your forehead before settling in to watch TV, and you couldn’t help the way your heart reacted to it. He had always been affectionate with you during your time as best friends, though it had lessened some the more serious he and Jennie became. The difference now was that this time, he was single. A part of you hoped it could mean more in the future. 

By episode 2, Namjoon was asleep on Yuna’s shoulder; no surprise considering how tired he must have been. He had cried on his way to your apartment, and the last of his tears onto your shirt when he arrived. Luckily, you hadn’t yet changed out of your own work clothes, so when you grabbed his garments, you took the opportunity to change into a spaghetti strap tank and sweatpants for couch cuddling. You turned off the TV as you untangled yourself from him, stretching as he roused slightly from your movements. 

“Don’t you two just look like the sweetest couple,” you say yawning, gently teasing your sister who was beet red from your words. Her crush on Namjoon was nothing new, but not something she wanted him to know about. She already knew she was too young for him; seen as nothing more than his best friend’s little sister. A part of Yuna was jealous that you had better chances with him than she did.

“Shut it!” Her whisper is harsh, but Namjoon slept on, unaware of the sisterly teasing. “I already know you’re gonna write all about this in your sex book!” 

You rolled your eyes, having forgotten about your old journal that you kept. You just shrugged, leaning down to gently wake Namjoon so you can put him to bed.

“Come on sleepy… Let’s get up and go to bed okay?” 

His large frame shuffled across the living room and down the hallway to your room. You heard him plop heavily on your bed, probably already asleep without having pulled back the covers. You put the empty wine glasses into the sink and straightened up the living room a tiny bit before you went to your room as well. 

Not yet ready for bed, you sat at your desk with the small lamp on, staring at the old journal your sister reminded you about. The image on the front is faded; you can barely make out what it used to be as you’ve covered it with doodles and stickers that are peeling at the edges. Opening it, you turned through the pages, taking in the lengthy entries about the boys you’ve slept with, starting with the one you lost your virginity to. 

Your finger grazed across the fancy calligraphy where you wrote his name at the top in a purple gel pen in. Jeon Jungkook. You laughed at the way you wrote about him, first describing him as a person before giving the intimate details of the experience, and finally ending it with a brief message of what you had wanted to say to him. Your eyes scanned the page, certain sentences catching your attention as you read it. 

“...and the way he held my neck when he first entered me, I think I’m in love.”

“He said it was his first time too. Does this mean something?”

“Jungkook, having you as my first… I want you to be my last. You looked at me as if the galaxies were reflected in my eyes. I want to feel the way you make me feel all the time. I hope that this does change things between us, but in a good way.”

You cringe a little, remembering how it didn’t turn out that way. Instead, after that night 5 years ago, you didn’t talk to Jungkook for a couple of days due to exam week. You texted him after your last test and he told you to come over; he wanted to talk to you about something too. But when you went to his dorm to see him and confess, you found him with Somin, your best friend at the time. They weren’t doing anything outrageous, just sitting on his twin bed in his dorm room talking, but you heard what she was saying through the door that was cracked.

Somin was confessing. You had no idea that she liked him too. It made your heart tight knowing that he had slept with you a week prior, and now your best friend was confessing to him. To be fair, neither of you had told the other about your feelings towards him. So instead of walking in and telling him how you felt, you left. He had texted you later asking what happened to you coming over but you lied, saying you had gotten busy. 

On the last day of the semester, Somin shared that she was dating Jungkook. Shocked and heartbroken, you wasted no time packing up your dorm for the summer and traveling home. Phone calls, texts, and plans to meetup became less frequent between your group of friends over the following semester until they eventually stopped. Did you stop talking to Jungkook and Somin… or was it them that stopped talking to you? 

Turning the pages, you move on from the thoughts of the photographer and stop at the next blank page. Grabbing a blue gel pen from the cup on your desk, you write with flair. 

Kim Namjoon.

How do I even begin to express how I feel about you? God, you make my heart flutter. I met you at a time when I needed someone. You were the bane of my existence at first, blasting your loud music from the apartment under mine. Going to yell at you turned out to be the best thing. You turned out to be the best thing. Of course, you had just started going out on dates with Jennie and you would be graduating a year ahead of me, but I knew that we would stay best friends. I mean, most BHSMA students intern at and get hired by the company. So for the longest time, I hid my feelings from you. That one night, before you and Jennie were exclusive… when we had sex, I thought my heart would burst. I never wanted a man so badly before that night. You are the moon in my sky, Kim Namjoon. What other body could pull an entire ocean from shore to shore? What other being could wrap me in love from beginning to end? Tonight you have just lost your moon. I am a terrible person because a part of me is happy to not be losing her moon. So now, I will climb into bed next to your sleeping body and hold you close as we sleep, and pray when the morning comes, in the light of the day, you will open your eyes and see me—the faint moon in the sky that has always been there for you. Maybe you will finally see me—and decide you want me too.

Setting the pen down, you reach for your phone. In your slightly drunken state, you decided to take pictures of each entry, in order to move these to a more secure environment and take your journal digital. You snapped a picture of each page (not that there were many) before you checked your phone for messages and plugged it in. You left your room to shut down all the lights now that Yuna was finished putting away her stuff and making her way to bed as well. 

“Hey, can I grab an extra notebook from your stash? I need to finish taking these notes on mixing hair colors.”

“Sure, it’s under the desk in the blue bin.”

She nodded and you continued past her, double checking the door to make sure it was locked before moving to throw Namjoon’s clothes into the dryer. Once satisfied that the house was in order, you went to your room. Yuna was standing over your desk, eyes reading your latest entry into the journal.

“Yuna! Get out!”

“This is beautiful though, he should see it. You need to tell him how you feel!” 

You shook your head.

“No. He just got his heart broken. It’s not the time to tell him.”

“You’re stubborn,” she whispered back at you, “you’re gonna lose him again!”

“Then that’s how it was destined to be. But I am not taking advantage of his vulnerable state.”

“You’re gonna be single forever. Spending every night with your baby sister, drinking wine because all the men you have ever loved have moved on!”

“Go to bed, Yuna!”

She shrugged as she walked out of the room, knowing that she was right. Deep down, a part of you felt like she was right too. 

Climbing into bed, you struggled to lift the covers over Namjoon’s slumbering frame before it pulled free and you could cover the two of you. As you settled into the bed next to him, he instinctively wrapped his arm around you, pulling you to his chest in his sleep. 

You knew that his dreams were imagining Jennie in his arms instead. 

—

That next morning, you checked Namjoon’s phone for his calendar. Having known him for several years, you know his passcode and that he keeps his work schedule exclusively on his cell. Typing in the code, 0613, you saw that his calendar stated that he didn’t need to go to the office until around noon. 

Lucky, you thought, eyeing the time on the phone. It was a little past 6:45am, and you had to wake your sister for her hands-on class before you got ready for the day. 

“Yuna! It’s almost 7,” you say as you knocked on her door and heard a muffled response. You headed back to your room and chose your outfit, knowing that the day would be busy and long with the concept photoshoot for SeoulM8 starting today. Choosing your outfit wisely, you climbed into the shower a few minutes later and spent at least a half hour just trying to cure the small hangover from the wine. 

Once dressed, you found Yuna packing her bag for class. It was getting close to 8, which is the latest that you could leave to be at work on time, so you wrote a quick note to Namjoon and ran back to leave it on the bed. His hand snaked out of the covers just as you were pulling your hand back, a gentle grip to your wrist holding you there.

“Y/N, thank you for last night.” His voice is like a bullfrog’s croak, and you chuckled. 

“Let me get you some water and some pain meds, okay? And of course Joonie, I’m here for you.” You leaned onto the bed with one knee, smoothing his hair back from his face once he’s released your wrist. “Always.”

Pressing your lips to his warm forehead, he pulled you down onto the bed with a hug and you can’t help but laugh.

“I’ve got to go! I’ll see you later, okay?” He nodded before he grips your neck, bringing his lips to your forehead this time. His lips linger longer than usual, and you shut your eyes at the tenderness of his kiss. 

“Go back to sleep, now.” You pulled away from him, going to grab the medicine and water before you and Yuna leave the apartment. 

—

You made it to work with extra time to make your coffee, so after you dropped off all of your extra stuff, you grabbed your tumbler and work tablet with all of your drawn designs for today’s shoot and made your way through the busy halls to the employee lounge. Today, the door was propped open for ease as it was a busier day in the building. 

You stood at the counter, stirring in the caramel creamer that you loved, when you felt a presence enter the room behind you.

“Y/N.”

Turning lazily, you cocked your eyebrow at Jungkook, who was standing awkwardly behind you. He had kicked the doorstop, allowing the door to close so that the two of you stood alone in the small staff kitchen. His hands were tucked into his joggers, while a white button down hung loosely from his frame. 

“Whats up JK?” You asked, expecting him to address something about the shoot. You hadn’t yet seen the men you were to dress, so you couldn’t fathom he was here to complain already about the costuming. “If it’s about the wardrobe, I haven’t even seen Tae or Jimin yet, so—”

“Actually, no. Um,” he rubbed the back of his neck before making eye contact with you, “I know that when we had sex that one time, it was great—”

Instantly, alarm bells went off in your head. What the actual fuck was Jungkook doing talking about the night you lost your virginity to each other?

“—but I just... don’t feel the same way that you do about me. You know? That was years ago, and yeah while it was just as good for me as it was for you, I’m not in love with you or anything, I just broke up with Somin too, so—”

“Jungkook! Wait—what are you talking about?”

“The text you sent me.”

“Jungkook, I haven’t texted you in weeks.” You looked down at the phone you had pulled out of the back pocket of your ripped black jeans, and opened up the messages. You noticed his text thread was now at the top. “Wait, what?”

Opening his specific thread you see the screenshot of the page from your journal that you took last night, sent to him. How the fuck did this happen? In your drunken state, did you send it to him? You begin to ramble as you throw the spoon in the sink with a loud clunk and begin screwing the lid on the coffee.

“Jungkook, stop. That was from a long time ago, it’s not recent at all, oh my god. I am so sorry you had to read that—you know what, I’m just gonna head to the set now. Okay, bye!” You breezed past him, feet carrying you out of the employee lounge with a swiftness. Once back in your office you stared at the horrid message, outraged at yourself for your drunken antics.

Drunk you must really hate sober you.

—

Work was just as hectic as you thought it was going to be. After the most embarrassing morning, you were summoned right away to a last minute meeting with Jimin and Tae, where you made minor changes to their wardrobe. 

“Y/N, you were always good at this in school, but damn. You are amazing now.” Jimin stared at you reflected in the mirror after you had turned his outfit into something fit for the concept with a few movements of the material that wrapped his body. Park Jimin, one of the few people you were still somewhat close with from that first year of school, was now a big shot idol, and one-half of SeoulM8. Kim Taehyung, his best friend, was the other part of the duo. He had met him after everyone split off after that first year. Going by the stage names Jimin and V, the two had met in their vocal lesson classes when Taehyung had switched his major, and BigHit saw potential in them. 

You walked with Jimin towards the set of the photo shoot, one of the bigger production rooms today due to the use of the second level. They would be posing next to a hole in the floor, feathers falling around them. Taehyung was already antsy to get started, and was playing around with Somin, who was one of the group’s managers, while he waited for Jimin to arrive back to the set. Now, it looked like the only person missing was the photographer. 

Walking to the fold out table set up at the back wall, you heard your phone chime. Opening to your messages, you saw a text from someone you hadn’t talked to in a while. 

“Seo Joon?” You question quietly to yourself, but before you could even read the message, you saw a similarly embarrassing photo above his reply.

“Oh God, oh God...” You clicked out of his message thread, ignoring the reply because you honestly didn’t care. What you actually cared about was if you had somehow sent the most recent entry of your journal to the last person on Earth who was ready to read it. Namjoon.

“Fuck. Oh no. Oh no.�� Sitting there, you saw the message clear as day with the small read receipt that it indeed had been read by him. The door to the set opened and Jungkook came waltzing through with his assistant. Before the door had a chance to swing closed all the way, you saw Namjoon’s form enter the room. 

“Alright, let’s get started!” Jungkook’s voice was loud and called everyone’s attention except for Namjoon. His eyes were on you. He beelined your way, and you readied yourself to apologize to him, but before either of you could say anything, Jungkook interrupted.

“Hey Joon, good to see you hyung! I’m so sorry though, we got a closed set and need to get started… tight time schedule and all.”

“I just need to talk to Y/N.”

Jungkook took in Namjoon’s demeanor; eyes red, hair disheveled, voice wobbly. It was so unlike Namjoon to look this way that Jungkook looked at you before speaking. Your expression was confusing to Jungkook, as he knew Namjoon was your best friend. Your eyes were wide in fear with tears forming… when you didn’t say a word, Jungkook took charge. A part of him saw that fear in your eyes and wanted to protect you.

“Look Joon-hyung, normally I wouldn’t mind, but we need Y/N on set the entire time today. Wardrobe is important for concept photos, you can understand right? Maybe at break time or something?”

Namjoon nodded as Jungkook’s arm wrapped around your waist and he led you away from the table and back towards where the staging was set. When you finally chanced a look back, you saw the assistants leading Namjoon and a few other non-essential workers out of the room. Everyone else on set had watched the exchange between the three of you, including Somin. Her eyes narrowed as she took in the way Jungkook’s fingers curled around your frame.

At break time, you hid out, avoiding Namjoon who had, reluctantly, waited several hours until break was called. He would have to go into the studio soon, which you knew since you saw his calendar, and after the short 30 minute break, Jungkook retrieved you from the small side room you were hiding in when they resumed the next set of shots using black leather and wings. 

The shoot kept your thoughts off of the incident, as you so aptly decided to call it in your head, until it was time to leave. You walked out with a large group, stealthily making it to your office. You sat on the floor with your back to the door, reviewing how many received these drunken messages of yours, happy to see that only 3 actually went through, since most of them were no longer in your phone anymore or had changed their numbers. 

Park Seo Joon, an ex from your second year at BHSMA, had moved to Japan for work, and while he did respond, he figured it was a mistake and as the smart person he was, he noticed the date in the corner and was aware that it was old. You breathed a sigh of relief, glad to have avoided that potentially awkward scenario.

Hearing your phone ping, you checked the message and saw it was Jungkook. A series of messages came in from him, and you read them in succession.

Shaking your head, you stand, grabbing the white outfits from the rack an assistant had brought in earlier after the set change. Throwing them over your arm, you head off to the set in a rush, shooting back a quick text to let him know you were coming.

Most everyone from earlier was back on set, expressions showcasing various stages of irritation. You handed the clothing to an unusually quiet Somin, and lifted your now free arm to wave at the artists. Somin walked away, throwing quiet looks over at you and Jungkook, who you were standing near now that you had approached the table. Jungkook was leaning on that same table, arms crossed as he reviewed the printout of what was needed.

“You know they sent us an updated list 2 hours after we started shooting? While we were all here, they thought that we could somehow read their minds. Then when I uploaded and sent the file over to have them double check, they responded that we had to finish it tonight.”

“It’s annoying for sure, JK, but you know Jimin and Tae will deliver. Once they’re dressed I bet we’ll be done in like 15 minutes, max.”

He nodded, smiling at your optimism.

“Hey, are you gonna tell me what earlier was about? With Namjoon hyung?”

You froze, not expecting the question, but you were saved from having to answer right then, since Namjoon walked in at that moment. It was too late for you to go anywhere; you were standing too close to the door, trapped between the table and Namjoon, who looked hurt. Jungkook read the situation and took several steps away to give you some privacy with Namjoon. 

“You’ve been avoiding me all day. After that message—did you think that I wouldn’t read it? I just broke up with Jennie, Y/N, it’s… I’m not… You can’t just say this shit to me right now.”

“Namjoon—I didn’t mean to, I was drunk and I promise you it’s not what you think, I don’t feel that way, okay?” You try and take it all back, wishing more than anything that he hadn’t read what you had written the previous night. 

“You don’t feel that way? Are you kidding me? I read it!”

“No, I don’t feel that way, okay? I’m with someone else.” You lied. You hoped that he would buy it.

“Y/N, I’m your best friend. Don’t you think I would know?”

“Yeah, you're my best friend, but you and Jennie are always together, it’s been forever since we actually caught up, so yes, it’s recent okay?”

“Who are you dating then?”

You say the first name that popped into your head. The person closest to you.

“Jeon Jungkook.”

“I don’t believe it.” His words come out harsh, and a part of you, the part that already feels like shit because Namjoon chose to be with Jennie a couple of years ago, lashes out in hurt.

“Why? Cause someone like him could never date someone like me?”

“Yes, Y/N. You guys are too different!” His voice was getting louder, and you knew that you had to do something in order to get him to believe your lie. So you do the only thing you can think of in your heated state. You take the several steps needed to cross the space between you and Jungkook, who looked up from where he was absorbed into his phone. 

“You ready?” he asked, looking down at your small frame. 

“Yeah baby, I’m ready.” Your hand snaked behind his head, and firmly grasping his neck, you leaned up on tiptoes as you pulled his mouth toward yours. You kissed him, and in his surprise, his free hands gripped your waist and he pulled you closer to him, before you were separating from him, slightly breathless. His grip tightened before it rested gently on your hip and you settled back onto your heels. 

You see the back of Namjoon’s coat trail behind him as he disappeared out the doors, pulling them shut loudly behind him.

You look back up at Jungkook, whose fingers squeeze your sides quickly to grab your attention.

“You’re definitely gonna have to explain after that kiss... baby.” 

—

Later that evening, you sat with Jungkook in his car. A black Mercedes Benz GT63S to be exact, with dark grey leather and a small bit of wood grain along the spacious dashboard. Your fingers trailed along the wood grain as you explained to Jungkook what happened, starting with the accidental drunk text messages, leading up to the reason behind your kiss. 

“So now what?” Jungkook asks, looking sideways over at you.

“I don’t know. I feel so stupid.”

“Look, Y/N… I think this could be mutually beneficial.”

You meet his eyes, a look of incredulity across your face.

“Please explain Jeon.”

“Look, earlier when I stepped in and kicked hyung off set, Somin was already eyeing the way we were behaving. She may or may not have texted me about it. Of course, I told her we were broken up, so she didn’t need to concern herself with my business. And then, when we came back to set, she made a face when they asked me to text you to come back too.” He smirked.

“I may or may not have peeped it, and may or may not have used it to my advantage. Of course, you kissing me definitely helped.” He glanced down at his phone as it lit up. Once again a message from Somin tiled above 17 other messages from her. He had been actively ignoring them while the two of you talked.

“So I say that we date.”

“We what?”

“Date. I can teach Somin a lesson about how to treat me and you can keep hyung off your back.”

“Teach Somin? I thought she broke up with you?”

“It was mutual. But this always happens. And I for one am tired of the back and forth. So this can teach her that other people want me, and I can move on, or she can stop with the drama and we stop breaking up every other week.”

You nodded. It sounded like a feasible plan, and you told him as much.

“So it’s agreed. We’re now together.”

“Not so fast, Jeon… I think we should have a backstory, get some things straight, set some rules.”

“Rules, Y/N? You sure know how to take the fun out of it.”

You rolled your eyes.

“When did we start dating?” you asked, ignoring his snide comment.

“We got together… at the beginning of the week. Somin and I broke up 2 weeks ago, though we didn’t make it public because she always does this shit...” he trailed off, before smiling back at you. “So yeah, let’s say we’ve been talking here and there everytime me and Somin would break up, and then we went on a couple dates during that first week we broke up and made it exclusive this week.”

You commit this to memory, then pull out your tablet and begin jotting it down with the stylus.

“Okay, so this is new, but we’ve been on each other’s radar for a bit. I think that’s believable, especially since we’ve known each other just as long as you and Somin have. How do you plan to make her jealous? It has to seem real, you know?”

“Trust me, she already thinks this is real,” he nods to his phone again, now at 28 unread messages from Somin, “so I think something that we can do is start arriving together. Maybe do little things for each other that are cute coupley things, be seen together. Kiss at work. Maybe I can sleep over a few nights or you at mine?” He winks at you.

“I thought you didn’t see me that way, Jeon.” You looked down at the tablet, furiously scribbling what he said in order to avoid looking at him and showing the way he caused your cheeks to warm.

“I said I wasn’t in love with you, babe, not that I wasn’t interested in sleeping with you again.”

“Yeah, well that’s off the table Jeon. This isn’t real.”

He just wagged his eyebrows at you seductively, but you laughed and moved on from it, reviewing the list you wrote out.

You made sure to underline number seven so he could see it easily. 

“And when does this end?” You asked.

“Um, I don’t know. I guess we just play it by ear. Let it be natural. Obviously not too early or too late, and it should be mutual. I mean, if Somin learns her lesson, we would obviously have to end things, but I don’t see that happening sooner than a month.”

“Okay,” you tilt your head, thoughtfully, “So we can re-examine this in like a month then.”

“So is this like a contract or what?” he jokes. “Want me to sign it?”

“Sure,” you say, playing along and offering him the stylus. He took it from your hand and signed his signature, and then handed you back the pen, gesturing for you to sign as well. You followed suit, a quiet chuckle as you saved the page to your tablet’s files.

“Wanna drive me home, boyfriend?”

—

Dating Jungkook was… interesting, to say the least. You were a little surprised when he texted you the next morning asking what your coffee order was, and you weren’t expecting him to be so punctual when he pulled up to your apartment. But as you and Yuna exited the apartment that morning, he was already parked at the curb, music a little too loud for the early morning transit, but you were thankful nonetheless. 

“Why are you taking us?” Yuna asked in her very blunt manner. She, of course, had heard of Jungkook, more so due to your falling out with Somin, but Jungkook took her question in stride.

“Because I’m dating your sister.” 

He handed you an iced caramel latte with a soft smile that you couldn’t help but return. Jungkook looked stunningly handsome, hair floofed to your desired preference and an all black outfit to match. His pants were the perfect fit to his well-toned body and the black bomber jacket gave him a bad boy edge that was softened by his doe eyes.

Yuna coughed, choking on her strawberry flavored poptart as you turned to look out the window. Yuna, seated behind you, hit the back of your seat.

“You’re dating him? And you didn’t tell me?”

“I wanted to be sure it was going to work out this time… He and his ex used to be on and off a lot and I didn’t want to tell you if they got back together.” You answer, mixing the truth into it.

“Ohhhh, I see. You a player Jeon? Gonna break my sister’s heart?” Yuna eyed him, pupils narrowed as they stared at him. 

He cleared his throat, not expecting to have to defend himself against the small pitbull in the backseat.

“Not planning on it, Yuna.” Jungkook reached over and took your hand into his large one, interlocking your fingers before he kissed the back of your hand sweetly as he released the brakes and pulled off. 

Walking into the BigHit building, Jungkook held the door open for you before placing his hand in the back pocket of your black skinny jeans as you walked to the elevator. You wore a black knit sweater that fell slightly off the shoulder, and you knew it looked like you two had coordinated outfits. His other hand held the strap of the backpack he had slung over his shoulder while you clutched your coffee and your bag. 

You started to walk off towards your office once you made it to your floor, but Jungkook’s hand on your ass pulled you back towards him. He leaned down to your ear, whispering quietly.

“Where are you off too in such a hurry?”

“Um, my office… why?”

“Come with me to mine first, let me drop off my bag and I'll walk you back.”

“Oh-kay?” 

Letting his pocketed hand guide you, you fell in step with him down the hallway. You passed several other people, including Jin, an actor signed to the company who was known for his gossip, who nodded their hellos to Jungkook before ducking their heads together or reaching for their phones. It felt like high school all over again. Jungkook removed his hand from the warmth of your ass in order to open his office door, to which he then pulled you inside. Closing the door, he backed you into it rather loudly. The windows in the door are frosted, but you knew that pressed to it like this, anyone who looked could see your outline against it. 

Jungkook pushed his body into yours, lips following suit as his hands found purchase on your hips. He kissed you languidly, the mint from his toothpaste clashed with your coffee, though not unpleasant. You kissed him back, enjoying the feel of his soft pout as it glided to your neck. He wasted no time in latching on, suckling your neck for a few seconds before he pulled away with a loud smacking noise. 

“I must say, we put on quite the show this morning. My roommate was out there, and he will definitely have everyone talking about our PDA.” He grinned, eyes still glued to your neck. “Once that hickey sets in, it will really be the talk of the town.”

You blinked, finally coming back to your senses. Of course. This was all a part of the plan. Jungkook stepped away from you, moving to put away his belongings in his office. You stepped away from the door, looking around as you willed your body to cool down. That kiss had been quite an experience, and you yourself had gotten carried away with the plan. 

Turning on the spot, you notice all the different camera equipment lining the walls, the beautiful still photography of various buildings throughout the city, but the most surprising was a photo from the first year you had all met. The picture had you, Jungkook, Somin, Jimin, and a few other friends in it; smiles wide as you stood at the fairgrounds you attended, ferris wheel lighting up the sky behind you. You walked towards it, taking in how carefree you looked, arms wrapped around Jungkook’s waist and his arms thrown over your and Somin’s shoulders, who was making the peace sign with both hands at her eyes. Jimin was making a silly face, arm wrapped around Somin’s waist. Simpler times.

You moved on, turning to the small polaroid camera and you couldn’t help but grab it. Turning, you snapped a photo of Jungkook, who was caught off guard. You took the developing film from the camera and set it down on his desk as he smiled at you.

“Hmm, that’s a good idea. Let me take a few photos of you, I can place them around my office.”

You tried to reject his idea, but he takes the photos anyways, pinching your cheeks and tickling you until he gets what he wants. Finally, 6 clicks later, he stood next to you, facing the camera to the two of you before he said your name softly. You looked up at him, and he surprised you with a kiss. That 7th click captured a kiss, and he placed that one in the back of his phone case.

“You are such a… a lover, Jeon.” You say, pointing at his phone. He shrugged, ignoring your jab.

“It’s something Somin always wanted me to do… I never did though. So seeing this will piss her off.”

You nodded, understanding. Everything he did had a purpose for getting at Somin in some way, shape, or form. You chided yourself that you would do well to remember that. 

—

Lunch was a whole new ball game. Used to sitting with Namjoon and Jennie, or some of your assistants, you were now eating lunch with Jungkook, who ate in the employee cafeteria. You followed his request to meet him there and stood in the doorway lost until you heard his voice call out to you.

Noting his waving hand, you wove through the circular tables until you reached the one he was at with Jimin, Taehyung, Jin, and Yoongi, a producer friend that you knew through Namjoon.

All of the seats were taken, but before you could stand there looking out of place, Jungkook scooted his chair out and all but pulled you onto his lap. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he nuzzled into your neck, breathing in your clean scented perfume and strawberry shampoo.

“Get a room, JK.” Yoongi said, face contorted with a mock look of disgust.

“What? She’s just so cute and warm.” His fingers drifted towards the hem of your sweater and disappeared up into the material, cold fingers pressed against the soft skin of your belly and you shivered with a giggle, pushing his ice box hands away.

“You’re cold as fuck, Jesus Jeon! Were you hanging out in a freezer?”

“You could say that...” Taehyung laughed while elbowing Jimin, and you raised an eyebrow at them, wanting in on the joke, too.

“He was reviewing pictures with us and our managers.” Jimin clarified, and you nodded. 

“I take it that Somin wasn’t very warm?” You asked, leaning more into Jungkook.

“Not at all,” Tae disclosed, “she was very icy, had a lot to say about our dear JK over here, didn’t she?”

“Nothing we haven't heard before.” Jimin answered, and the two laughed, but you didn’t find it all that funny. Hearing that Somin trash talked Jungkook to his friends while working didn’t sound like the kind of person anyone would want to date. 

“Well she can talk shit all she wants, she’s just mad he’s moved on.” You defended, and are surprised to hear a quiet ‘thank you’ just for your ears as Jungkook tightened his hold briefly.

“I really dislike that girl,” Jin said, “I for one will be glad to not see her trashy ass around the apartment anymore. You are a breath of fresh air, Y/N.”

You smile shyly at Jin, enjoying how well everyone seemed to have welcomed you into their group.

“So, Y/N, we were just talking about the party Yoongi was throwing. He and Hobi live together, and they’re throwing a small rager this weekend. You’re coming with JK, right?”

Oh, this was not something you were expecting. You hadn’t gone to a party with co-workers in a long time…

“Um—”

“Of course she’ll be there, she’s coming with me. Right, babe?” Jungkook’s doe eyes looked up at you and you couldn’t say no. It’s not like you had plans anyways. You nodded and smiled at him, and he leaned into you, lips seeking yours in a quick kiss. You feel your body react to it, like it had been doing since this started, and pulled back before he could turn it X-rated. 

“Okay, seriously you two, get a room.”

—

Standing in the mirror in your bedroom, you turned from side to side to take in your outfit. As a head wardrobe stylist, you had a pretty good sense of fashion, but liked to stick to basic pieces and blacks, dressing up your look with delicate jewelry or layered pieces. 

Tonight was no different. With the beginnings of winter creeping in, you wanted to be comfortable in the weather once the sun set. You had on black sheer leggings that disappeared into a cute black skirt with thin white lines that had a revealing thigh split. Your top was an asymmetrical design, having one long sleeve and turning into a bandeau style on the other side. You paired it with black velvet boots that had crisp white laces, then finished the look with a matching set of simple dangling skinny diamond earrings, bracelet, and necklace. 

Despite this thing with Jungkook being fake, you wanted him to still feel proud to showcase you on his arm at this party. People were already talking about the two of you, and tonight would fuel the gossip even more. You were nervous of course, knowing who typically attended these types of parties, but Jungkook had assured you that he would keep you safe tonight.

The polite knock on your bedroom door had you turn your head to the sound, a tossed “come in” over your shoulder to who you thought was Yuna, but revealed a very handsome looking Jungkook, who was in his typical all black attire. You stood there, body warming as you took in his height, broad shoulders, and long legs. 

“Wow.” 

His voice was low, but his eyes looked like they sparkled as he took you in. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Jeon,” you responded, reaching to grab your bag off of your bed.

Jungkook snapped out of the daze he was in and pulled his phone out of his pocket. 

“Let’s take a photo for the ‘gram.”

You nodded; for a second you thought he wanted to have a photo of you because you looked good. Posing in the mirror, he pulled you close by your waist and adjusted his phone to capture both of you in the frame. He took a few photos, switching poses slightly each time.

“Hey,” he said, gaining your attention. You turned to him, shocked when his lips met yours. You melt easily into the kiss, hearing the camera shutter click several times as you tangled tongues, his hand sliding from your waist to cup your butt and pull you closer. You were unable to stop the moan from his action, and when he pulled away, lips a bit fuller and pinker from kissing, he quirked his eyebrow at you, paired with his signature smirk.

“Y-You messed up my lip gloss,” you fake huffed, turning away from him to rummage through your bag to grab your gloss and reapply. Your attempt to avoid him from seeing the way he affected you didn’t go unnoticed, but Jungkook kept quiet on it.

“It was worth it, these pics are hot. Plus, you taste good. What flavor is that?”

“Strawberry,” you mumbled, still feeling the heat from the kiss warm your neck and face.

“Strawberry is slowly becoming my new favorite.”

—

Yoongi and Hobi knew how to throw a party. The music was playing at the perfect level that you could still hear people talking to you, a variety of alcoholic beverages were supplied in ample amounts, and several games were being held in various rooms of their home. 

Currently, you were seated on the couch with a few other women from the office. Unfortunately, one of them was Somin. Across the room, your ‘boyfriend’ was engaged in a game of beer pong against Taehyung and Jimin. They had challenged him solo, citing he was good at everything and didn’t need a partner. As you watched him toss the small ping pong balls into the same cup, you knew their concern was right. 

“Y/N, you and Jeon?” Seline, one of the girls seated next to you, asked suggestively.

“Yea,” you giggled, the cup of something or other making you a little... giggly.

“Color me a little surprised. He’s like, such a social butterfly, and you’re...” 

“Oh, Y/N used to be a social butterfly, but she thought she was too good for us back in college.” Somin piped up. 

Her statement caught you off guard. Somin was once your best friend, but when she started dating Jungkook, she had distanced herself from you, not the other way around. 

“I never thought that. Some people act differently once they start dating people though. I never changed.” You sat back with a huff, crossing your arms. She ruined the buzz the alcohol had given you. 

Seline leaned closer to you, interested to hear more. The other’s seated nearby also tuned in with interest.

“Oh, you knew them in college?” 

You nodded, and Somin got up and walked away from the couch, seemingly annoyed at the attention you were getting for being Jungkook’s new girl.

You told the brief backstory of your friendship, leaving out the obvious part of losing virginities and finding out your best friend confessed to Jungkook when you were on your way to do the same thing, but ending it on good terms, saying that it was just the process of naturally growing apart. 

Seline nodded, and you saw her eyes widen as she looked past you. Following her gaze, your eyes narrowed at the view. Somin was all over Jungkook. You weren’t exaggerating; both of her hands were holding on to him as if she was too drunk to maintain her balance. She was falling into his arms and he was holding her, one of his large hands pushing her hair back from her face and a look of concern etched upon his own. 

Two feelings hit you at once. Nausea at the sight of him looking so tenderly at her, simultaneous with a boiling fury of jealousy that it wasn’t you. 

“Looks like Somin wants him back.” Seline snickered towards the other girls, and you stood up abruptly. You made eye contact with Jimin, who’s eyes were unnaturally large as he registered the scene before him.

Jimin was relieved that Somin interrupted the end of the game so that he could escape before he had to drink more, but he also felt annoyed seeing her all over Jungkook. Jimin had been glad when Jungkook told him and Tae that he was done with Somin; even more glad when he heard that Jungkook started seeing you. 

Back in college, Jimin was the only person, other than you and Jungkook, who knew what happened between you two. Both of you had confided in him your actions and feelings for one another. Color him surprised when he found out that Jungkook was not dating you, but instead your best friend, Somin. He wasn’t sure what happened but soon after, you stopped being around as much and Somin was around all the time. 

Watching Somin pretend to be too drunk to function and fall all over Jungkook made Jimin purposefully search the room for you. Watching you stand, drink clutched in your hand, Jimin had a feeling something was about to happen.

The drink you were nursing was downed in its entirety within a single swallow. You were now several drinks in, and you were feeling the alcohol start to hit as you stood up fast. Pushing your shoulders back, you walked over towards your ‘boyfriend’, whose back was turned towards you, and slid your arm around his waist.

“Heyyy babe,” you leaned into his body, staking claim on Jungkook as you stared daggers at Somin. She had taken a few steps back when you had approached, but now, seeing the challenge in your eyes, she stepped closer once more.

“Ggukk-ah, I don’t feel so well...”

“Min,” Jungkook stepped out of your hold, hands moving to cup Somin’s face as she feigned weakness in her knees. The level of concern in his voice let you know exactly how he felt. You scoffed, not believing Jungkook would behave this way in front of everyone. He was the one who had came up with this idea for ‘mutual benefit’ and here he was fucking it all up.

“She’s fine, babe. She can handle her alcohol.” You felt yourself growing hotter, the alcohol actually having an effect on you, as it always had. Your increasing body temperature only made you more frustrated.

“Seriously Gguk, I’m getting so hot...” Somin reached for the hem of her shirt, and in one fell swoop she had exposed the lacey bra she wore underneath. You could hear people talking over the sound of the music, taking in the scene of a shirtless ex making a brazen show.

“Jungkook!” Your voice is no more than a harsh whisper, but he’s so scandalized at Somin’s action, the protective boyfriend in him coming out to aid in shielding her body from onlookers, he doesn’t hear you. 

You hate the sick feeling bubbling in your stomach, unsure if it's from watching your ‘man’ flirt with his half naked ex or if it’s from the alcohol not sitting right with you.

Throwing the scene one last look, you turned on your heels and headed off to the kitchen for a bottle of water, or perhaps, another cup of something stronger.

Walking past him and Taehyung, Jimin caught sight of the look on your face before you blew past on your way towards the kitchen and he knew he should warn his friend.

“Jungkook, hey.. Jungkook!” Jimin yelled, his voice louder the second time he called his name. 

Jungkook had been leaning towards Somin, hands cradling her face as he continued to speak quietly to her. When he looked up at Jimin, his face appeared slightly annoyed at the interruption as he was taking care of her.

“What, bro?”

“Um, your girlfriend? Y/N? She just went into the kitchen and she looked a little upset.” Jimin said, his face trying to communicate to Jungkook what it looked like that he was holding his ex that way and his new girlfriend had stormed off. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Jimin, can you?” Jungkook gestured his head towards the kitchen and Jimin thought his eyes were going to pop out of his head.

“How about I take Somin and you go find Y/N? Your girlfriend. Remember?”

Jungkook paused for a millisecond before depositing Somin into Jimin’s arms. He made his way to the kitchen, where he found you engaged in taking shots with Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jin, the latter of which was shit talking Somin with a smile. When you felt his presence enter the kitchen, you ignored him, gesturing for your now fourth shot in as many minutes.

Sensing the tension, Yoongi decided against more shots, instead leading Hobi and Jin out of the kitchen, much to Jin’s complaints of having to be around the ‘trashy tramp’. The three headed back to the party, a bottle tucked under Yoongi’s arm as Hobi carried the shot glasses out. 

“We were enjoying our new friend, JK. Stop keeping her to yourself,” Jin said with a drunken glare. 

Sighing audibly, you turned to walk out of the kitchen but Jungkook’s grasp on your wrist stopped you.

“Hey, why are you ignoring me like this?” He asked, confusion tinting his voice.

“Um, maybe because you’re supposed to be dating me and you were too busy with Somin to remember you even had a girlfriend.” You said back harshly, spitting the words at him with such vehemence you wobbled precariously on your heels.

“Come here.” Jungkook said, dragging you behind him through the bodies in the hallway until you had made it into one of the unoccupied back bedrooms. Shutting the door, he turned to you as he dragged his hand through his hair. The action only made him more handsome, tousled hair falling gently to frame his face.

“Look, it’s... complicated with Somin right now.”

“I get that you’re trying to teach her a lesson, see if you want to be with her or whatever, but not at my expense. You said mutually beneficial. Making me look like your second choice and embarrassing me does not benefit me.”

During your speech, you poked him in the chest several times, the alcohol starting to take its effect on you. Stumbling slightly, Jungkook caught you to steady you, keeping his hands on your waist. The warmness of his palms felt nice as he helped keep you balanced.

“You’re right, Y/N. I’m sorry. Like I said, it’s complicated. We dated for a long time. I still care for her. She’s... been making this difficult.”

“Oh? Difficult how? By faking being drunk so you can take care of her?”

“She’s a lightweight, that’s not fake,” he defended.

You were once close enough with Somin to know that she was not a lightweight, since she had been drinking at parties since she was 14; her earlier interaction was indeed, all an act.

“Whatever, Jungkook. So what is she doing that’s so difficult?” you asked, cutting him a look of narrowed eyes until he answered you.

He walked backwards, tugging you gently along until he was seated on the bed. You stood between his parted knees, waiting patiently for his answer. Realizing you weren’t going to drop it, he rubbed the back of his neck gingerly.

“She’s, you know.. She still texts me all the time, saying shit and sending pics and stuff. She says she wants me back, but I just,” he looked up at you, his doe eyes unable to hide his emotions.

“I don’t know if I believe it. I want to. But she’s hurt me, and I’m tired of it. I want her to feel how I felt.”

Your ire towards him faded as he opened up to you. Cupping his face gently, you leaned in and rubbed his nose with yours softly back and forth.

“You’re amazing Jungkook. Until tonight, you’ve treated me like a princess the entire week we’ve been dating. But she won’t learn if you give in. You’ve got me now, okay? When she texts you, text me instead. Don’t entertain her. She’ll think I’m not enough for you if you keep responding, and that doesn’t show her you can move on.”

You had sunk into him the whole time you talked to him, and he shifted your body so you were now straddled over his lap, head resting on his shoulder. You yawned sleepily, the loss of the anger leaving you feeling the tired effects of the alcohol. Unlike Somin, you were a lightweight, and 3 shots was over your limit.

As you got comfortable on Jungkook, he thought over what you said, smoothing your hair carefully.

“You’re right. You always were so smart in school... ” Jungkook said, and you nodded your head on his shoulder in agreement, humming an affirmative.

“Let’s get you home though, you’re halfway to passing out anyways.” Pulling out his phone, he ordered an Uber. He held you like that, your strawberry scent surrounding him until the Uber driver was outside. His hands gripping you under your thighs, he stood up and carried you out of the party, nodding bye to his friends and hosts of the party.

Placing you into the Uber, he climbed in after you and you curled into his lap, seeking his warmth in your drunken half-slumber. Jungkook chuckled, noticing the way his chest reacted to the action but ignored it. This was an arrangement, you seeking him out wasn’t real, and your anger earlier wasn’t jealousy, he told himself. You were worried about being embarrassed. He still loved and wanted to get back with Somin, right? 

As he looked down at you in his lap, enjoying the weight of you pressed against his body, he wasn’t so sure. 

“This the correct address, sir?” The Uber driver asked, verifying with Jungkook once he shut the SUV door.

“Yea, both of us are headed there.”

—

The weekend passed by fast. Waking up at Jungkook’s place Sunday morning had been a little shocking, but his bed was soft and clean, and smelled of him. You had snuggled deeper into the sheets until he woke you up to go get breakfast and get his car from Yoongi’s place. He detailed to you what had transpired to you being in his bed, expressed that he had not taken advantage of you, per rule number 7, plus the basic concept of consent, and promised to take you home as soon as Jin was awake and could take the two of you to go get his car. 

He gave you some clothes to change into, and while you weren’t surprised to find he had jeans to fit you, neither one of you asked or shared the obvious: they were Somin’s. At least the shirt he gave you was his, and you also stole a hoodie to wear. December may have only just started a week ago, but the cold was pervasive.

Breakfast with him was fun. Getting to know Jungkook again was just as exhilarating as it had been the first time, during that first year at BHSMA. He had changed, but in a good way. More mature, but still playful. An adult who was a hotshot photographer, but still humble and considerate. How someone could be built like that and have such a big soft heart was beyond you. 

The trip to get his car was slightly awkward, as Jin, Jungkook’s very nosy roommate, commented on how bad drunk sex must be with Jungkook if you were able to keep so quiet. 

“Somin was always so loud, I swear she was exaggerating. No one’s dick is that good; sorry JK.”

Once Jin dropped the two of you off at Yoongi and Hobi’s, it ended up turning into hanging out with them for a bit, talking about work and your relationship with Jungkook. Hobi swooned with oohs and ahhs while Yoongi cringed, faking disgust at such a cute story, as was his trademark. 

Jungkook apologized once the two of you escaped to his car, for both Jin being cringey, and for staying longer than anticipated with Yoongi and Hoseok, but you weren’t mad. You enjoyed meeting his friends and getting to know them. You were only a little concerned because Yoongi was also friends with Namjoon, who worked in the same department as him.

Jungkook turned to you before you climbed out of the car, not wanting to say goodbye just yet, but unable to think of a reason to get you to stay. Afterall, the relationship was fake. 

“Hey, thanks for your advice last night.”

“Honestly, I barely remember what it was, but if it helped you, I’m glad.” You smiled at him, and he had to blink a few times to remember what else he wanted to say.

“So, um—I was thinking we could go on, like, a formal date Monday? After work? Monday should be a chill day. I know the comeback is planned for January, so going out sooner than later is best, right? Get it out of the way? That way we won’t forget, and we won’t be too busy with work to try and squeeze it in, and—” 

Jungkook knew he was rambling, feeling nervous despite it being you, someone he had known for several years now. For fucks sake, he’s seen you naked. He felt his cock twitch and internally scolded himself. This was not the time for remembering the way you felt beneath him, the sweet sounds he had pulled from you as he learned your body, shared with you in giving each other your virginities. 

When his cock twitched again, he took a deep breath and tried to focus on your answer.

“You okay, Jeon?” you asked, noticing he had zoned out slightly.

“Yeah... ” he responded, shifting as if uncomfortable.

“Well, I said I would love to go on a date with you. What did you have planned?”

“It’s a surprise. Just dress for the weather.”

You nodded thoughtfully, a small smile gracing your face as you gathered your purse and stepped back out of the doorway of his car to shut it. He rolled the window down, smiling back at you.

“Can’t wait,” you say, standing outside his car on the sidewalk through the rolled down window, waving your fingers at him cutely.

Jungkook’s signature smile spread across his face as he winked at you just before he pulled off, turning his music up loud as he whipped his Benz out of your complex. 

—

Now sitting at your desk, you clicked through the selected shots that Jungkook emailed you of the photo shoot from last week as you reminisced on the weekend. You were supposed to be checking the outfits, detailing the different designers for the credits. But your thoughts kept drifting to Jungkook, and what should have easily been a 15 minute task took 45. 

Finally sending the email, you stood to stretch when a loud knock announced a visitor. Walking to the frosted door of your office, you opened it and revealed a large bouquet of tiger lilies. 

“Delivery for Y/N Y/L/N,” Kim, one of your assistants sing-songed as she walked into the room.

“Where did you get this? And why?” You searched the flowers until you found the card inside.

“I’m not supposed to give any details other than to read the note!” She pranced away, a smug smile on her face for knowing the secret you wanted to know.

Opening the envelope, a small polaroid fell out, fluttering to the ground. You picked it up, noting the image of a small park nearby. At the bottom, in Jungkook’s neat writing was a time. 2:30PM. Glancing at the clock, you see that the time listed is in roughly 15 minutes, so you gathered your purse, plucked a flower from the bouquet and headed out to meet Jungkook.

Walking into the elevator, Namjoon suddenly entered just before the doors shut, trapping you inside with him.

“Why are you avoiding me?” He asked. You studied him, momentarily at a loss for words at his ambush.

“Joonie, I—I’m not avoiding you. I’ve just been busy...”

“Too busy for your best friend? Jennie left me, and now I feel like I’m losing you too.”

Hearing his voice crack as he mentioned his ex hurts you more than you let him know. In all of the panic of the secret sex journal being released and fake dating Jungkook, you had forgotten what Namjoon had been going through.

“I promise, you’re not losing me, Joonie. You’re my best friend. I’m sorry that I haven’t been acting like it. I swear, I have been busy.”

“Yeah, busy going to parties with your new boyfriend. I saw him carrying your wasted ass out of Yoongi’s house.” Namjoon sounded a little irritated as he spoke.

“Listen, it’s complicated.. Can we talk about this later, please? It’s not a conversation for the elevator.”

“Okay, where are you going? I’ll go with you.” The doors opened and you both stepped out, Namjoon following you like a lifeline.

“Joonie, I—Look, I’m going on a date with Jungkook, I’m sorry!” you halted your steps and explained to him as a look of hurt flashed across his face.

“You know what? Forget it. Hit me up when you remember your best friend, if I’m even that.”

Namjoon walked away from you, ignoring you as you called after him. You sighed, giving up as he disappeared around a corner of the lobby, guests and coworkers looking at the exchange with interest.

You rubbed your temples and took a deep breath before braving the cold to walk to Ttukseom Park.

The walk was surprisingly pleasant. Despite the temperature, the sun was warm on your face whenever you were able to evade the shade along the sidewalk. It may have been the very beginnings of winter, but the scenery was anything but the cold melancholy you tended to associate with this time of the year.

The grass was vibrant still, and as you made it to the spot that matched the small photo you still had clutched in your hand, you noticed how the butterfly art installation along the wall of the J-Bug Cultural Complex glittered in the sunlight seeping in. Jungkook was seated on a bench right underneath the art with his trusty camera hanging from his neck, a picnic basket next to him.

“This is beautiful,” you said in awe, taking in the entire view. Jungkook followed your gaze, humming his agreement before picking up his camera. You heard the shutter of the camera several times. You looked over to him glancing at the small screen on the device before adjusting the lens and taking several more. 

“Have you never seen this?” He said as he stood and grabbed the basket. You stood as well and followed him, falling into step beside him as he walked out from the shade and into the grassier area.

You shook your head no. “Don’t really have the time I guess. I’ve always wanted to explore the J-Bug though; Namjoon said the museums all along the Hangang are amazing.”

“I’ve taken photos at several of the murals nearby, they’re some of my favorite locations actually.” He smiled at you, and you can’t help the way your heart squeezes. He nodded his head to an area that had a decent amount of sunlight to combat the winter chill.

“Yea, I remember seeing some of them in your office. You’re really talented Kookie, I remember how passionate you were about photography even back then.” You helped spread the blanket he produced from the basket and once seated you leaned back on your palms, eyes closed. 

Jungkook looked at you, taking in the way the midday sun made you glow, how pretty your lashes looked leaving shadows across your content cheeks. He couldn’t hold back the smile that took over his face upon hearing you use the endearment he hadn’t heard since that night so long ago.

“Ah, yeah, but my photography wasn’t that good then.”

“Stop being so humble, the photos you took were amazing, even then.”

You opened your eyes, catching him staring at you, and you felt yourself grow self-conscious.

“What? Is there something on my face?”

“Oh—uh, no sorry, it was just the sun—you know, lighting and all.” He gestured to his camera.

“Ah, I guess the talented eye never rests. Though I don’t know why you would want pictures of me,” you laughed and Jungkook tapped your knee in reproach.

“You’re a pretty good subject, don’t downplay yourself.”

You nodded, looking in the basket to hide the way your cheeks had warmed at his comment.

“Seriously, Y/N, I used to want to take photos of you all the time back then... you should’ve seen my camera roll. It was embarrassing. Jimin used to tease me all the time.” Jungkook helped you set up his small spread of food and you used the meal as a distraction.

“Ooh, did you prepare all of this?”

“Ah, some of it,” he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I had some help from Jin hyung.”

“It smells delicious.” You took the proffered chopsticks from his large hand and dug into the bowl of japchae before placing it on your rice to gather for one bite; Jungkook followed suit.

The rest of the lunch date went incredibly well. Jungkook was just like you remembered him to be, except he was more filled out, and a little taller with a jawline that could cut glass. But his humor, his compassion, his deep thoughts that led you to fall for him all those years ago were still painfully there. Spending more time with him one on one did nothing but show you that the feelings you once had for him were still easily accessible. 

As he led you back to the office, his hand swinging yours between your bodies, you couldn’t help but wish this was real. How nice it would be to just pretend that Jungkook really was yours, allow those creeping feelings to spread like spring, blooming across your chest until it was vibrant and unforgettable. You couldn’t imagine what it would be like after; after when you were single again and Jungkook had either gotten back with Somin or moved on to someone else.

“What are you thinking about?” Jungkook squeezed your hand. You hadn’t even noticed that you were not only back at the office, but standing at the door to your locked office.

“Oh, sorry. Honestly, that lunch date was just so nice… It felt good to get out and do something different for a change.”

“Oh, well yea, I remembered you used to like stuff like this, I figured you probably still did.”

You nodded, hope blooming. 

“Take a look at this post, let me know if it’s okay.”

He handed you his phone, and you admired the way he had caught you off guard, a photo that looked like it could be moving, the way your hair frames your face as you looked longingly off into the distance. The caption was simple. “It’s not about where you go or what you have, it’s about who you’re with along the way.” 

“It’s perfect.”

“Okay, post it then. And post a few more pics of me on your page too? I’ve been posting and tagging you...”

If you didn’t know any better, you would think that Jungkook sounded… upset? You nodded as you clicked the post button, and as it loaded, the phone vibrated in your hand. Thinking it was a like or a comment on the image of you, you glanced at it. His phone had locked by this time, and instead of seeing notifications for Instagram, you saw a message notification instead. 

Handing him back his phone, you push down that blooming sensation. It would be foolish to think Jungkook was upset that you hadn’t posted him as much as he had posted you. Clearly he must’ve spent time with Somin after he dropped you off yesterday. 

“You got a message. Umm, I’m gonna finish up here and then head home, you don’t need to wait for me. See you tomorrow?”

You wanted to get away from him desperately. Jungkook looked at you, confused at your sudden shift in mood.

“I thought I was driving you home? Jin said he was staying out late tonight, I figured we could hang out for a few—”

“We’ll see! There’s still so much to do for the album release.” You leaned up and kissed his cheek chastely before unlocking your office door and all but disappeared inside of it.

Jungkook stood there, staring at your closed door for a few more seconds before he felt his phone buzz in his hand. Checking his notifications, he saw a series of texts from Somin. 

Looking around confused, he noticed Somin standing across the office area, a deadly smirk on her face as she waved her phone at Jungkook. All Jungkook could do was sigh. Somin wouldn’t leave him alone long enough to sort out his thoughts, and now she was sending purposefully misleading texts? Jungkook didn’t know how to explain to you that what you saw was untrue.

You clearly believed it.

—

Jungkook gave you two days of space before he decided to track you down. He always hated that Somin would know he was upset (typically because it was her fault) and immediately pounce on him, forcing her company upon him and not allowing him the ability to forgive and move on. He wanted to give you that time, so after two days, Jungkook felt that it had been long enough, and the two of you should reconcile whatever misunderstanding there had been.

You posted a photo with him yesterday, and from the caption you wrote it appeared like you had a fun time with him on Monday despite the way you left him standing at your office door. 

The image you posted on your Instagram with Jungkook was a candid shot; he hadn’t realized you had taken a photo. While it brought about that warm feeling in his chest seeing the photo appear in his feed, it didn’t clearly depict his face. 

Instead, the focus was on your fingers intertwined. Jungkook’s profile could be seen, blurred from lack of focus, but it matched the caption you had chosen so well. “Even if someone shakes this world, please don’t ever let go of this hand you’re holding...”

Motivated, Jungkook made sure to be bright and early at your door ready to drive you and your sister. 

You weren’t expecting to see the flashy Benz outside of your apartment. Yuna was excited to not have to take public transportation, leaving you behind as she all but ran to the passenger rear door.

“Morning JK! We missed you these past few days.”

“Ah, sorry about that, I had to be at the office way earlier; didn’t want to make you guys wake up even earlier than you already do.”

Yuna waves off the apology and you finally followed; feet moving across the pavement until you’ve climbed into the car and buckled your seatbelt.

“Morning princess,” Jungkook says, leaning towards you and pecking your lips. You were caught off guard, not expecting him to be so lovey, but you returned the kiss, a double peck that you started and continued on as the traditional way you greeted each other.

“Morning.”

“Didn’t sleep well?”

“Yea, been a bit out of it these past few days...” You trailed off, not wanting to talk about it in front of Yuna. Catching on, Jungkook turns up the music and shifts into drive, pulling off towards the University for Yuna.

The drive to the office isn’t too long from the school, so once Yuna was out, Jungkook wasted no time in asking you to talk.

“So, can we talk about Somin?”

You huffed out a sigh. It was too early in the morning to deal with the Somin issue, but you nodded, allowing Jungkook to breach the topic.

“I know you saw her message. I want you to know that nothing happened. She sent that text because she saw us. She was doing the same bullshit she always does, part of the reason I don’t think she’s learned anything yet, like you said.”

You nodded, still not sure what to believe. He had no reason to lie to you, it’s not like you were actually in a relationship. He could go back to Somin anytime. 

“I hate that you’re mad at me.”

You turned your body towards him. 

“I—Look, I’m not mad, okay? Not at you. I just hate that Somin gets under my skin so much. That she’s a bitch to you. Neither of us deserve it, especially you.”

Jungkook reached over, encasing your hand in his.

“I’m learning that now. We’ve been together so long, I never noticed at first what she was doing. But I think subconsciously, it was making me resent her. And you really said some shit that had me thinking. And you’re right. I—I’m really glad to have you back in my life, Y/N. Having you in my corner has made all the difference.”

You looked down, eyes staring at the tattooed hand to hide the warmth on your face. 

“After work, come over. Let me buy us dinner and we can hang out.” You felt his smile as he stared at you while pausing at the red light before your office, and you met his gaze.

“Okay.”

“Good, we need to make Jin believe we’re having hot, loud sex, since rule 7 prevents you from experiencing the real thing.”

He let out a shout of pain as you punched his shoulder.

—

Walking to get food was not the smartest idea for 3 reasons. First, because neither of you checked the weather. Second, due to number one, neither of you had an umbrella. So naturally, third, running in the rain while carrying takeout was almost a disaster.

And still, the two of you laughed the entire way, bag clutched in one arm while your fingers were intertwined between your sprinting bodies, one block left to get to Jungkook’s apartment. By the time he’s unlocked the door, you're both sopping wet, rain water dripping onto the floor of the entryway to the apartment. After getting the food situated to stay warm while you guys got cleaned up, Jungkook gave you a towel and led you to his bathroom.

You appreciated that he was such a clean guy, his apartment and subsequently, the bathroom was pristine, and he actually had a trashcan and stocked toilet paper, unlike some men you knew. He planted folded clothes for you to change into on top of the sink counter, and surprised you with a kiss.

“What was that for?” You asked, dazed.

“Practice.” He said with a wink, and he backed away, closing the door as he left you alone. 

—

While Jungkook showered, you heated up the food, your mostly dried hair now up in a messy bun as you danced around his kitchen. His sweats were a little (a lot) too long, so you had rolled them up so you could avoid tripping. 

A knock at the door made you jump, before you moonwalked over to the entryway, now clean of the rain water the two of you had trudged in. Thinking it was Jin, you didn’t check to see who it was and opened the door. You froze as you took in a young man that was not your ‘boyfriend’s’ broad shouldered roommate. Instead, doe-eyes similar to the man currently naked in the shower stared back at you.

“Oh, hey… I thought my brother lived here. Sorry about that!” The man stepped back, checking the number on the apartment again before his eyes landed on your shirt—or rather, his brother’s shirt.

“You’re not Somin...”

“Hi, and no, I’m not,” you laughed, “um, but this is Jungkook’s apartment.”

“Ahh, okay. I’m JungHyun. His older brother.”

“Oh! Come in!” You stepped back so that he could walk past you, and you led him into the living room once he had shed his shoes. 

“Oh, did I interrupt dinner?”

“Oh, no we haven’t even started eating yet. No worries.”

The two of you sat down, and you tucked your feet up under your bottom, turning to face Jungkook’s older brother.

“So, I know who you’re not...”

“Oh, fuck, manners.” The look on your face is sheepish, and you smiled to cover your nerves. “I’m Y/N, Kookie’s girlfriend.”

“Oh, you’re the famous Y/N! Finally got you, did he?”

His words confused you, Jungkook had been with Somin since forever, when had he ever wanted you? Smiling to cover your confusion, you’re saved when Jungkook appears in the hallway, a loud laugh as he barreled over to his brother and all but jumped on the man.

“Hyung! What are you doing here?!”

“Oh, I finished that project at work early, so I’m headed to visit mom and dad. Staying with them through Christmas before the next contract at work starts.”

“Ah, it’s good to see you!”

Jungkook’s enthusiasm is abundant; it’s clear he loves his brother dearly and misses him. He pulled back from a hug and sat comfortably in the space between you and JungHyun, his palm resting lightly on your leg absentmindedly.

“So, I’ve met your new girlfriend. I must say you didn’t do her justice when you described her to me.”

You felt the blush creep across your face, and Jungkook also seemed to turn red, his fingers rubbing at the skin on his neck.

“Yea, seeing her in person is best.” He says awkwardly, and you can’t help but laugh.

“So? Does dad know? Mom is gonna be so excited. She hated Somin.”

“What?” Jungkook says at the same time that you say “Really?”

JungHyun nodded, sitting back into the couch comfortably.

“Yea, no offense, lil bro, but Somin was a bitch. Mom thought she was so fake.”

“Wh-why didn’t you guys ever say anything?”

“Eh, you know, cause you were in love or whatever.”

You get up and go to the kitchen, grabbing bowls and the last of the heated food, hoping to avoid being present for this part of their conversation, but still curious all the same.

“Definitely not.”

“Mmhmm, sure.”

“Seriously. I wasn’t actually in love. Or if I was, it faded. I think for a lot of it I was just… dependent or whatever. I thought it was love, sure. But it wasn’t; I know that now.”

“Ah, so Y/N showed you what love is?”

“She definitely cares more about me and my happiness than Somin ever has.”

You cleared your throat as you walked back into the living room.

“Ready to eat?”

Dinner with Jungkook and JungHyun is, in so many words, fun. They bantered and joked and you spend the time eating and laughing, enjoying your time with the brothers. You didn't even realize how late it had gotten, not until Jin waltzed into the apartment, noting the late hour for you all to be chatting so loud. 

“Shit, Yuna messaged me an hour ago.” 

“Just stay here. We can pick Yuna up in the morning when you go home to change.”

“Are you sure? Your brother’s visiting, I don’t want to be in the way.”

“Y/N, don’t worry, I’ll take the couch. I was going to anyway.” JungHyun smiled at you, and you nodded back. Standing up, you stretched, not realizing how tired you were. Jungkook took the opportunity to tickle your exposed sides, and you squealed, causing the brothers to laugh as you squirmed away from Jungkook, who didn’t let you get far.

“Let’s get you to bed, princess.”

Turning in Jungkook’s arms, you looked over his shoulder at his brother.

“Good night, oppa.”

Jungkook stiffened as JungHyun and Jin laughed, enjoying the way the youngest one reacted to your words.

“Ah, if it doesn’t work out between you two, hit me up.”

“Hyung!” Jungkook glared at his brother, not enjoying the joke.

“What? At least she wouldn’t need to meet our parents twice! She is coming for Christmas, right?”

The two of you looked at each other, a little thrown off by the question. The holidays were coming up, but you hadn’t discussed this far into the relationship. It wasn’t real after all, did you have to go through such lengths to teach Somin a lesson?

“I haven’t told mom and dad yet about her...”

“No worries, I text them ages ago. They’re expecting her for Christmas.”

Jungkook sighed, dropping his forehead to yours, so all you could see was his eyes staring into yours.

“Is this okay? Do you wanna, you know? Meet my parents?” Jungkook’s voice was low as he whispered the question.

“I—Yes.”

The look on his face when you agreed was beautiful, a scrunched-nose smile that is reminiscent of a bunny. You couldn’t help but smile back, lost in the mahogany of his eyes.

“Are you guys over there kissing when I’m waiting for an answer?” JungHyun broke the tension filling the air between you and his brother.

Jungkook smirked before capturing your lips with his own, a breathless kiss that lasted only a couple seconds before he pulled away to smirk at his brother.

“You can tell mom and dad I’ll be bringing her home for Christmas.” With those words, Jungkook whisked you down the hall and tucked you into his bed before climbing in behind you. Wrapping his arm around your waist, he pulled you closer to him. His hands skimmed your body before he began tickling you again, a squeal leaving your mouth. You retaliated, hands attempting to tickle him before he pinned you to the bed, and the two of you began to wrestle for a bit. 

You were unaware of how sexual the wrestling sounded; his headboard hitting the wall roughly and the two of you grunting and groaning as you fought for dominance, some added squeals and moans when Jungkook decided it was a good idea to bite you in his quest for submission. Finally winded, you gave in, laying back on the mattress in defeat. Jungkook tugged at your sweatpants, removing them swiftly and throwing them onto the floor, his own joining the pile. He then grasped your face, peppering it with kisses.

You were about to ask him what he was doing, when someone knocked. Jungkook called out a ‘come in’ and his brother walked into the bedroom, his sights set on the bathroom.

“Don’t mind me, just gonna wash up before bed. It seemed safe to enter now.”

He disappeared into the bathroom as Jungkook continued to hold you, affectionate even after his brother was out of sight. Even if this relationship was fake, you could pretend in this moment that it was real, that Jungkook pulled you closer, not to fool his brother, but because he wanted to be close to you, that he was falling in love with you. 

For one night, it should be okay to pretend it was something more, right?

—

The next two weeks passed by in a blur. Namjoon had basically confined himself to his studio at work, intent on avoiding you. Seeing you hand in hand with Jungkook seemed to bother him, and because you couldn’t tell him the truth (or wouldn’t), you left him to his own assumptions. He ignored all of your texts attempting to reach out to him, despite him saying he wanted you to let him know when you had time for him. This just made you more frustrated, and you were done trying to chase Namjoon, romantically or otherwise. When he was ready to behave like an adult, you would be willing to talk to him. 

After telling Yuna about how you were asked to go home with Jungkook and meet his family, you received a call from your own parents. Yuna had told them about Jungkook, and you were bombarded with questions until you too agreed to bring Jungkook home.

It took some discussing, but it was finally decided: the 23rd and Christmas Eve would be with your family, and Christmas Day and the 26th would be with Jungkook’s. You were a little worried that the parents would be able to see through your ruse, despite having fooled everybody else at work, but Jungkook assured you that it would be easy enough to trick his parents. 

On the train ride to Daegu, you sat a few rows away from your sister, who had her headphones in as she watched the latest K-Drama she missed due to her busy school schedule. The ‘arriving soon’ message plays throughout the cabins of the KTX, and you figure it’s important to bring up your parents. 

Turning to Jungkook, who was drawing on his iPad, you removed an airpod from your ear, pausing the music. You take a moment and admire his face, the way his jawline was so angular, the sharp planes of his cheekbones, the concentration held in his eyes.

“Like what you see?” Jungkook’s voice is teasing, but you still felt embarrassed at being caught staring at him.

“I just think we should talk about the next 2 days.”

“Y/N, listen. Parents love me. Despite the tattoos and long hair.”

“Cause you’ve met so many parents? You’ve been dating Somin since we were 20.”

“My friends have parents too, you know. Don’t worry. Just be like we always are and it’ll be fine.”

“Your parents may be easy to trick, but mine? They’re a bit more… scrutinizing. Plus, they’ve heard me talk about Namjoon, and probably don’t remember me talking about you...” you trailed off, a slight warmth subtly coloring your cheeks.

“So you used to talk about me?”

“Well, yea, first year, you know? I had a crush on you, so my mom heard all about it. Not about—you know, but I told her I thought we might date.” You buried your nose in your phone to avoid looking at Jungkook. 

“You know, you never told me why you nev—”

Jungkook’s words were cut off by an attendant walking through the aisle, asking everyone to start packing up their belongings as the train would be pulling into the DongDaegu Station momentarily.

“My dad should be here to pick us up—Yuna!” Your sister turned to you, a smile on her face as she waved her phone.

“Dad’s here!”

The drive to the house was short, and you spent most of the time taking turns with Yuna filling in your dad on your life in Seoul. Your mom was busy in the kitchen when you arrived, and she shooed you all upstairs to your rooms. Unsurprisingly, your parents were having you and Yuna share her room while Jungkook would be across the hall in your room. 

Your parents were more conservative, and while you were an adult and perfectly able to do as you pleased in Seoul, while under their roof, they wanted to make sure that you remained as pure as they could keep you. 

Dinner that first night went well. Jungook and your dad bonded over sports, despite Jungkook not playing any team sports, he was still well-versed on the topic and joined your dad in watching a basketball game while you, Yuna, and your mom cleaned up after dinner and then sat in the sewing room. 

Your mom asked you all about Jungkook, which she surprisingly did remember you talking about. It seemed you had her and your father fooled, but while you sat at her embroidery machine, she shared she was confused about the lack of presents you had for each other to open tomorrow night. Saying it was because you still had to wrap them and she would find them under the tree tomorrow was an easy enough excuse, and paired with a very real yawn, you excused yourself to get ready for bed.

Sleeping with Yuna was uncomfortable; she was a wild sleeper. Restlessness won over sleep, so you got out of bed and made your way downstairs to grab a bottle of water from the kitchen. Your parents were already in bed in their first floor room on the other side of the house from the kitchen and the stairs.

When you returned back upstairs, you noticed the light on in your bedroom, so you knocked softly.

“Come in,” Jungkook’s voice was subdued, and you pushed the door open gently.

“Hey,” you said, eyeing Jungkook’s lean, topless form as he sat at the edge of the bed. You never tired of the view when you would sleep over at his place. 

“Can’t sleep?”

“Yea, Yuna isn’t the best person to sleep next to, flops around all night, hogs the sheets.”

You walk into the room, joining him on the bed. He’s swiping through images from the SeoulM8 shoots he’s recently done. You watched his finger move across the iPad leisurely.

“Ahh, sounds like you miss sleeping next to me.”

You scoffed, shoulder bumping into his.

“You snore a bit. And your body temperature runs pretty hot. I wake up sweating half the time.”

“Ah, not the first time I’ve made you sweat, love.”

You raise your eyebrow at his insinuation of your loss of virginity.

“Kidding, babe,” he jokes, locking his iPad and setting it down to charge on the bedside table.

“Can we go into town tomorrow? I want to do some last minute shopping.”

“Sure.” Jungkook yawned and you took that as your cue to leave so he could get some sleep after your journey across the country.

“Where ya going? I thought you couldn't fall asleep with Yuna?”

Jungkook pulled the covers back, making space for you to climb in in front of him.

“Well, yes, but my parents—”

“Sleep downstairs and wholly expect us to pretend to sleep apart but know that you’re going to sneak in here anyways because we’re madly in love.”

You had to cover your mouth to keep from laughing loudly.

“And how do you know that?”

Jungkook smirked, still waiting for you to get into bed.

“You’re dad told me. He also said we need to give him grandchildren, sooner rather than later.”

Stunned silent, Jungkook leaned forward and grabbed your wrist, pulling you towards him. He turned off the light and you climbed in over him, keeping him at the front just in case. 

“C’mere,” he rolled over and pulled you to his chest, snuggling into you as he got comfortable. “We have to look madly in love. No funny business though. I know you think I’m irresistible, but we are in your parents house and must be respectful.”

You elbowed him in the rib, and settled into the comforting darkness of your childhood bedroom with Jungkook’s arm wound around your waist, holding you close. 

——

Christmas Eve, in your family, is the night that presents are opened. As a child, this tradition was done in order to make room under the tree for Santa’s presents. As adults, your parents keep the tradition alive, instead putting stockings with 1 or 2 of the more expensive gifts for you to have on Christmas morning. 

After shopping in town and spending time wrapping, you had finally placed a few gifts for Jungkook under the tree that Yuna was now passing out. You were surprised to see a couple gifts for you from Jungkook in the small pile you amassed, and when you caught his eye, he winked at you. 

Yuna opened her gifts first, then you and Jungkook, where you saw that he gave you a matching jewelry set: necklace and earrings in a soft rose gold, a small cherry blossom bloom dangling from the small hoop of the earrings and from a small hoop on the necklace. It reminded you of your date at the park. The two of you sat under the winter sakura tree that day, the only blossoms that bloom twice a year, where you told him how much you loved cherry blossoms in passing. 

“It’s beautiful, Jungkook.” You almost can’t believe it, but he just smiles softly at your gratitude and helps put the necklace on you. Your parents looked happy, enjoying seeing their daughter so happy. Jungkook was excited to see what you had gotten him; a special lens for his camera that he had talked on and on about purchasing soon. He was giddy, running upstairs to grab his camera, testing out the new lens on pictures of you and your family.

Once again, you found yourself in your old room, curled up with Jungkook, but this time you were unable to sleep. Rolling over, you faced Jungkook, who cracked one eye and peeked at you.

“What’s wrong, babe?” he asked, voice laced with sleep. You noticed how easily the endearment rolled off his tongue even with no one around to convince.

“I—the gift you got me,” your fingers fidgeted with the small cherry blossom on the necklace. “I hope it didn’t cost too much. You can return it once we break up if you need to.”

“Y/N, that gift is for you. For being such a great… friend. Helping me do this. I really think it’s working.”

“You deserve to be happy Jungkook. I’m glad you were able to get space long enough to work out how you feel, and that you’re working your way to being happier.”

“Yea, I think I’ve been much happier lately...”

You watched his tongue run along his lips, and you couldn’t help but train your eyes on the movement. He caught your eyes, his hands gripped you a bit tighter as the tension in the dark room grew.

“...much happier...”

You weren’t sure who moved first, you or Jungkook, but at that point, it didn’t really matter. The way your lips sought his, the way his hands pulled you closer, the two of you were acting on instinct. This kiss wasn’t for practice or for show, who was to know what happened here, in this room tonight, but the two of you?

You let out a moan as he dipped his head lower, tracing kisses from your neck to what was exposed of your collarbone. His touch is impatient, tugging and kneading, unable to stay still on your body. His scent alone, a musky vanilla scent, engulfed your senses and you wanted… more.

You threw your leg over his body, turning the two of you until you’re straddled on top of him, able to press your core down onto his very firm cock. His boxers and your sleep shorts are the only things holding it back from assaulting you, and you’re annoyed that they’re in the way. Reaching down, you slide your hand roughly into the waistline of the boxers, fingers gripping him.

Jungkook groaned into your neck, the feel of your hand as you palm him building the craving he had for you. He wanted you. Not just physically. But you had those stupid rules, and he couldn’t just break them. He respected you more than that, and falling in love with you? Well that wasn’t part of the plan.

Jungkook slows the way he’s kissing you, slows the way he was thrusting into your hand and pushes you gently off of him and back to your side of the bed. You’re both panting, barely able to catch your breath as he pulled your back to his chest and held you close.

“We’ve got a long trip tomorrow morning to Busan, babe. Let’s get some sleep.”

“Oh… okay?” You were so confused. You had never been turned down before, especially not when you were so far into the act, practically ready to pull your panties to the side and ease him into you. You were throbbing, body aching with want, and you knew he was too; could feel the hardness as it nestled in the dip between your cheeks.

You felt him kiss your head, followed by a soft double peck to your neck, and not 10 minutes later his breathing slowed as he drifted off to sleep. 

You, on the other hand, laid awake, thoughts running wild.

——

Christmas morning you had an early breakfast with your family before opening stockings. Your parents had only a couple of weeks to prepare for Jungkook, but they had prepared a stocking for him as well; your mom embroidering his name onto it and stuffing it full to the brim. 

You were surprised at the gifts; a couple boxes of polaroid film, a bag of banana kick chips, individually packaged egg snacks, and colorful candy canes. Yours were similar as well, a small collection of sewing items for designing, and your favorite snacks. Your mom ruffled Jungkook’s sleepy-head hair as he offered his thanks to your parents, and you couldn’t help but feel your heart swoon at the sight. You realized something heartbreaking at that moment: breaking up with Jungkook once this was over would hurt more than just you. 

Heading to Jungkook’s parents house was a different experience after the previous night. Yuna had obviously stayed with your parents, and would be catching the train back the same day you left Busan. 

This was the first time the two of you had been alone since the rejection the night before, and you were doing your best to ignore the hurt feeling that would bloom every time you caught yourself dwelling on it. You focused on your phone instead, posting a few photos on Instagram so that you were sticking to your end of the deal. Somin would see these posts some way or another, and it would hopefully do what it was intended to.

Jungkook didn’t seem to think twice about the rejection, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and treating you like you were really together, a true couple going to meet his parents for the first time. 

“Nervous?”

“A little. I’ll be meeting your parents, and we’re not really together,” you looked down at your hands, missing the way Jungkook’s face fell for a few seconds before working it’s way back to a smile, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

“I think we’re together enough where it counts. No one watching us would doubt it,” he intertwined your fingers and gave it an encouraging squeeze, “sometimes even I forget you’re not my real girlfriend.” He laughed, and the sound leaves an ache in your chest.

“Same, haha...” You looked out the window of the KTX, ready to breathe the fresh air of the nearby sea. Jungkook released your hand and you both went back to your tasks, Jungkook reading emails and you sketching designs for work.

Jungkook’s parents treated you much like yours had treated Jungkook. Like you were the greatest thing to happen to their child.

“Y/N, you’re so pretty! Oh, thank heavens, we have a chance at cute grandchildren now.” Jungkook’s mom bowed her head in thanks to a higher power, and you couldn’t help feeling a little bad that you weren’t actually dating Jungkook. You would have liked to deserve the praise she was giving you.

“He looks so much happier, happier than we’ve seen him in a long time.” She smiled at his father and their eyes, so similar to their two sons, crinkled in the corners. JungHyun greeted you with a hug, and you reciprocated it.

“Hi, Oppa,” you teased, and Jungkook glared at you. 

“Yah! That’s Jeon JungHyun to you,” he leaned closer to your ear in a mock whisper, “only I get called Oppa.”

JungHyun cringed back in mock disgust.

“I do not need to know about your ‘Oppa kink’ in the bedroom.” He shivered as he walked back to the living room, where he put away his laptop to make space for gifts.

Their dad, who you were very glad had not heard his eldest son’s comment, gestured to you to leave your suitcases in the entryway and come sit down.

“Kookie, pass out the gifts please. Your mom has been waiting all morning in excitement for you two to get here. We can have lunch after you guys get situated.”

Jungkook, ever the dutiful youngest son, began to distribute gifts amongst you all, while you handed your own gifts that you had gotten for his family out to them. 

“You didn’t have to get them anything,” Jungkook whispered as he dropped a gift off for you from his own parents.

You gave him a pointed look, gesturing subtly to the gift.

“I did.”

He shook his head with a smile and continued until the space under the tree was empty.

“So, we just open them all at the same time! Save your thanks for the end, ready?” His dad looked at you, and you nodded.

“Let’s get it!” Jungkook shouted, and everyone laughed at his phrase as you began to open your gifts. You didn’t have many, one from his parents and JungHyun, and 2 from Jungkook. His family had given you a Pantone Color Swatch book that was easy to carry around, to help while on set working. It was very thoughtful, and you knew it could not have been cheap. You bowed deeply, on your knees and forehead to their floor as a show of your gratitude and respect.

They motioned for you to sit back up, waving off your thanks as if it was no big deal for them to get this gift for you. You turned to Jungkook’s gift, eyes already threatening tears at their sincere treatment of you, and once opened, you did cry.

Nestled inside a satin lined box was a beautiful set of Dwikkoji, traditional hair pins, that came with a small card identifying them as from the Joseon era.

“Jungkook!” you gasped, sure that they couldn’t be real.

“Don’t worry. I didn’t have to pay for them. But they would look much better displayed in your office as our head fashionista then collecting dust in storage.”

You couldn’t hold back your feelings any longer. Acting on instinct, you tugged him towards you, wrapping your arms under his own and around his frame as you let your tears fall.

“They’re beautiful, Kookie.” 

Jungkook reciprocated your embrace, his hand smoothing down your hair as his parents smiled at the scene in front of them.

“Ah, young love, remember when that was us?”

—

Unlike your parents, who wanted to pretend that the two of you were a modest young couple, Jungkook’s parents assumed that the two of you would room together. His dad had clapped him on his shoulder and congratulated him on bringing home such a fine woman. Apparently in the two weeks that JungHyun had been home, he had raved about you to his parents, showing pictures from your social media accounts of the two of you together, as well as your fashion talent. Jungkook too had talked on the phone to his parents, you came to find out, which was why his parents were so enthralled by you, despite only dating Jungkook for a short time.

Lunch was fun. Spending time with the Jeons was full of laughter. His family was like him, generous and kind hearted, and you enjoyed spending time with his mom in the kitchen making cookies for dessert.

That night you went out for a drive to look at Christmas lights, before you all stopped off at the town center where they had outdoor ice skating set up. Jungkook had his camera with the new personalized strap you made him (yay fashion classes!) around his neck, taking photos of you and his family as you glided across the frozen water. You spent an hour there before heading home to warm up with hot cocoa and Christmas movies. You found out that this was their tradition every year, and it made you happy to know they wanted to share it with you. Even if it was only for this one Christmas.

Having showered first, you traveled down the hall to get water from the kitchen while you waited for Jungkook to finish his. His family had a one level house; His parents’ room was located on one side of the living room and kitchen, while Jungkook and his brother’s room was on the other side. 

You heard his parents talking at the table and you slowed down, resting the back of your head on the wall as you heard them say your name.

“Oh, honey, Y/N is so darling! I haven’t seen him this happy in years.”

“He looks so in love with her.”

“Well, remember, he used to have the biggest crush on her.”

“But that was years ago. They were what, 20? And somehow he chose Somin?”

“Sometimes, people aren't ready. Now, they’re older. Better chances of them working out. Oh, honey, I hope they work out. She would be such a cute daughter in law.”

“I know, but don’t pressure them. Let them realize how in love with each other they are on their own.”

“Do you think she loves him too?”

“I don’t have a single doubt in my mind. I saw the way they were together.They’re in love, whether they realize it or not.”

“Ahh, so we could have grandchildren soon? JungHyun seems like he’s never going to settle down... ”

“Aish, grandchildren? I’m too young to be a grandpa!”

Instead of interrupting them, you headed back to his room, mind racing with their words. Jungkook had a crush on you? They thought the two of you were in love? Daughter in law? Jungkook chose that moment to come into the room, towel wrapped low around his waist as he checked his phone and you couldn’t look away.

“You’re starting to drool there, babe.”

You swallowed and looked away, grabbing your hair and running your fingers through it to put it into a bun on your head.

“I just uh—I wanted to talk to you about the contract.”

Jungkook, who was facing his dresser where his suitcase was opened up, froze. His eyes sought yours in the mirror, his reflection giving away nothing.

“Oh? What, uh, what about it?”

“Well, our parents seem to like us together, I mean, they’re talking about grandkids, and well, I would hate to break up so soon after having met them. I know this was only supposed to go on until you figured out what to do about Somin, but if it’s alright with you,” you look away, twisting your fingers in nervousness, “I would like for us to continue to date.”

Jungkook’s mind was racing. He understood what you meant. Your parents seemed to love him, discussing future visits for the holidays and his family had been no different. And thinking about ending the contract? Well, he had already been thinking about doing that. So he could date you, for real. Somin texted him while he was in the shower, upset about missing Christmas with his family. Jungkook thought that it would bother him, his first holiday without her, but he realized he couldn’t care less. 

Somin treated him like a prize to be toted around and shown off. He was good for bragging; his face, body, high paying job, it all granted her status. She had no ambition to grow within the company, still a one act manager after graduating as an interning manager’s assistant. But you? God, you were different. You had ambition, you didn’t care about what Jungkook could provide for you, and you listened to him, to his dreams. You were thoughtful, appreciative, and everything you had done was to help him be happy. Even fake dating, while it benefitted you as well, you had gone above and beyond for him.

You stood up, walking closer to him where he was lost in his thoughts.

“Jungkook?” you intoned, your fingers softly settling on the back of his shoulder, waiting for his response.

“I think, yeah. I think that would be a good idea. My parents and brother love you.”

Your heart soared. He wanted to continue this. Not go back to Somin right away. He barely brought her up this whole trip. You felt giddy, hopeful that maybe one day, this could be something more.

“So then, it’s settled.”

Jungkook turned around, catching your hand before you could drop it back to your side.

“I think we should reexamine that contract, but tonight, I’d really like to say fuck it.”

Jungkook stepped into your space, and in a heart’s beat, he had ensnared your lips, his arms pulling you closer to him. Your own arms snaked up his body, hands pulling his head closer to you, your fingers playing with the wet strands at his nape. His kisses were fervent, lips almost rough as he pressed them to yours before he was swiping his tongue across the opening of your mouth, seeking entrance. 

You groaned as you arched your back, seeking to deepen the kiss as you pressed higher on your tiptoes, wanting more of him. His palm skimmed your back down to your butt, where he applied pressure and lifted you with brute strength. You pulled away with a gasp, not expecting to be lifted up. He just looked at you with pupils blown, one eyebrow raised suggestively as he carried you to his bed.

“I think we should practice making ‘grandchildren’ for them.”

He set you down, long enough to grip the hem of your shirt before he pulled it over your head. His eyes moved to your chest, and he closed his eyes as he sighed in defeat.

“You’ve been keeping this from me?”

“You’ve seen me naked before,” you remind him, but he just shook his head.

“Years ago, Y/N, and let me tell you, my memory didn’t do you justice. I think I need a reminder.”

You throw him a suggestive look, knowing that you’ve both had some experience with sex since your shared first time all those years ago. This time, there was no fumbling, no nervous laughter, or apologizing. This time, Jungkook was in command of his body, and of yours too. He rid you of your shorts, leaving you naked on his sheets as he dropped his towel. 

You marveled at how his body had changed: the muscle gained and the chiseled jaw you loved to admire. Jungkook bit his lip and did the same to you, eyes roving along your curves, the way you weren’t shying away from his touch as his fingers trailed up your thigh.

“You’re beautiful, Y/N.”

You didn’t get a chance to respond, as Jungkook kissed you again, this time with less fervor, his body crawling above yours as he joined you on the bed. His hands touched you everywhere, fondling your breasts and your ass as he kissed down your neck, nipping the skin and leaving marks along your neck. You feel the ache as your wetness pools between your legs, and Jungkook’s growing member sits heavy where it’s pressed against your thigh. 

“Jungkook, please—”

He nips a bit harder, the sound of you begging for him made him infinitely larger. He wanted to be in you, but he didn’t want to rush it, wanted to savor you for as long as he had you under him. Kissing down your body, his tongue leaves a cool, wet trail and you writhe, ticklish to his tongues path to your core. 

Parting your legs wider, he smirked at you from where he's sat on his knees, your thighs on either side of his gloriously naked body. Leaning forward, he never breaks eye contact as you watch his lips meet your mound. Gentle kisses pressed to your lips, and then his tongue is parting them, flicking your clit in greeting. Your head is thrown back, you know you should be quieter, but the onslaught of his lips and tongue as they pleasure your sweet spot has you reduced to base instincts only. And right now, they want Jungkook to know that he had better not stop.

You rolled your hips, seeking more, and he gives in, thick fingers immersing themselves inside of you. You clench, walls shocked at the intrusion but welcoming it all the same. He felt so good, and you tell him as much, so he continued to finger fuck you as he lapped up your release, carrying you through your orgasm.

He was so hard, cock throbbing as he kissed back up your body, and after spitting into your hand, you reached down to stroke along his shaft, palm twisting and gliding as he nuzzled his face back into your neck, quiet little moans rolling out of his mouth with each stroke. You made him feel so good, your body warm and soft as your smaller hand stroked his larger ego, in more ways than one.

Without preamble, you positioned him at your opening and lifted your hips, allowing him to feel how warm your walls were, waiting for him. He pushed up on his palms on either side of your head and the look he gave you was indecipherable before your own eyes shut; he engulfed his cock in the swollen velvet that was your cunt, buried to the hilt.

He had tried his best to prepare you, but every glorious inch stretching you out was a breath you needed to take in order to grow accustomed to his size. You counted nine breaths, then opened your eyes, taking in the trembling of his arms as he held himself back from pounding into you.

“Move, Kook, please,” you whine, and he wasted no time following your orders.

His hips grinded into you as he rolled them, angling himself to take you as deep as humanly possible. His pace started off fast, but soon he was slowing down, head dropped into the crook of your neck as your nails dragged red marks down his back. You rocked your hips in time to his thrusts, using your grip on his back as leverage to meet him halfway. 

“You feel so good, so wet for me,” he murmured with each thrust, and you bit his shoulder, afraid if you didn’t gag yourself, you would say the wrong thing.

Everything about you enveloped him, your scent, your arms and thighs that were holding him close; he could barely think straight as he tried to get you to cum again before he got himself off. But you felt so good, tight clenches as your arousal gushed and coated his cock, he didn’t know how much longer he could last. Then you bit his shoulder, and he sped up his stroke, hips rolled in fast succession as your body jostled underneath him.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m so close baby,” you mewl into his ear, and he lifted his head up out of your neck, resting his forehead on yours. 

“I want to watch you, don’t close your eyes,” he pleads and you try your best to keep them open, not closing them for long as the coil builds in your lower abdomen. He adjusted your bodies, lifted your legs up slightly which allowed him a deeper angle that hits your g-spot. Your mouth hangs open, a fucked out expression on your face and Jungkook loses it.

The first spurt of his hot cum sends you over the edge, and you're spiraling down, pussy contracting around his cock, milking him for every drop. You maintain eye contact, watching each other for a few seconds before you can’t help but close them, the pleasure too great.

Jungkook pressed his lips to yours as you both cum, using them to cage in the words he wanted to say, wanted to shout from the rooftops, but wasn’t yet sure you felt the same way.

——

Waking up in Jungkook’s arms, you felt sore. So sore, but also satisfied. You hadn’t slept this well in ages, and if Jungkook’s deep slumber and dead weight arm draped over your waist was anything to go by, he hadn’t either. You moved his arm slowly, headed for the shower, and let out a small gasp as JungHyun also exited his bedroom at the same time.

“Well, don’t you look... rested,” he trailed off, a look of knowing on his face.

Your face burned in embarrassment.

“Don’t worry, as soon as I heard little brother start to get a little… feral, I turned up my TV while I gamed. Parents didn’t hear a peep.”

“Thank you, oppa.” You bowed, gratitude seeping out of each of your pores.

“Now, those marks on the other hand,” he gestured to your neck, “might I suggest an ice pack for 20 minutes and then some really good makeup?”

You hurried into the bathroom as he laughed his way towards the kitchen. A minute later he knocked, passing you a small ice-pack through the cracked door.

“20 minutes,” he reminded you with a wink, and went back into his room with his cereal.

—

Saying goodbye to Jungkook’s parents after a late breakfast was tough. His mom cried, saying her baby son did not visit enough and that she would miss him. She also said she would miss you greatly, and that you better come back with him soon to visit.

It was tough to promise her that you would, knowing that there was a very real chance that you wouldn’t. This was fake after all. You had just agreed to extend the contract briefly, to get through the holidays and while Jungkook said ‘fuck it’ last night, with the rising of the sun came the clarity of the situation. 

Jungkook behaved much the same, holding your hand and showering you with PDA, and while you reciprocated, you couldn’t help but feel like the magic of Christmas was over. Heading back to Seoul meant back to reality. You weren’t sure you were ready for that. For the first time in your life, you felt like you could see a future with someone, with him, despite the relationship being fake thus far. To be honest, it hadn’t felt fake since the night of the party. 

The entire trip, all 3 and a half hours of it, you ruminated on last night and what it meant. You hated to admit that you had fallen for Jungkook, and had given up rule number 7 on a whim. For all you knew, he would be going back to Somin at the end of this. 

In his own little world, Jungkook too couldn’t stop thinking about you and what last night meant. He wished he had said to forget the contract all together, instead of just for the night. He wanted to see if you felt the same way, but he wanted to be sure that his Somin chapter was done. He needed to see her and make sure he was over her, and not just using you as a rebound. You didn’t deserve that.

Jungkook’s body language had you on edge, as his foot tapped incessantly as the train got closer and closer to Seoul. You placed your hand on his knee, a reassuring move for both of you. 

“Jungkook, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just—Somin messaged me.” He had been thinking about it the whole trip back to Seoul, about how her messages didn’t affect him anymore. Before, he could barely go a few minutes before responding. Now, almost 18 hours had passed and he wasn’t bothered.

“When?” Your voice came out sharper than intended, and Jungkook flinched back from you.

“Uh, last night, right after I got out of the shower.”

Your brain began to connect dots that you didn’t want it to.

“Oh,” you respond, trying to keep your voice light. Jungkook was confused at your reaction; usually you were jumping to keep him and Somin apart. This response felt like you didn’t care, like if he met up with Somin, it wouldn’t impact you at all.

“She just… I think that you’re right. The plan is working and I’ve been happier than I’ve been in a long time. But I guess there’s that part of me that needs to talk with her, express how I feel. I want to be sure.” Before I confess my feelings to you, he thought.

“Right. Well, that was the goal, getting you to figure out what you want.” You turned your head away from him and deeper into the neck pillow, trying to get this conversation done and over with before he said something that really broke your heart.

“I know. I guess I’ll meet up with her when we get back? The sooner the better I guess.”

“True, the faster you meet with her, figure it all out, the faster we can move towards breaking up.”

Jungkook freezes, but you don’t notice, too focused on not looking at him.

“At breaking up?”

“Yea, that was the plan right? We date for a couple more weeks, then break up, so you can get back with Somin, if she’s changed, you know?”

“You—”

“Hey Jungkook? I’m really tired, can we talk about this later?”

Jungkook stared at your form, taking in how closed off you were from him. He didn’t understand what changed. He sat back, finally replying to Somin’s text, agreeing to meet at a cafe by his apartment later that evening.

—

Jungkook saw you home, worried the entire ride to your place about what was happening between the two of you. He thought everything had been going well, and after last night, he didn’t know how he could have possibly fucked up. He hoped you were just PMS-ing, like Somin used to always blame moods like this on. 

You let him carry your suitcase upstairs to your apartment and when he leaned in for a kiss, you kissed him back, but he felt it was almost out of obligation; your sister was sitting on the couch watching the two of you. Jungkook paused at your door, but you had turned away from him, so ready to be alone. So he let you close the door in his face, let you have time to yourself.

Jungkook got to the cafe, eyes searching for the long black hair of his ex. When he approached her she smiled at him. Jungkook saw the way her face lit up, the way the smile graced her pretty face, and felt nothing for it. Sitting down, a cafe worker took their drink order and left them alone.

“So, you said you wanted to talk?” Jungkook asked, fidgeting with his fingers drumming on his knee.

“Kookie, I miss you.” Somin leaned toward him, chest pushed out in her off the shoulder zebra print dress. Her black heel nudged against Jungkook’s leg, rubbing it suggestively.

Jungkook moved his leg out of reach and sighed.

“Somin—”

“Minnie.” She pouted, red painted bottom lip jutting out after she cut him off to correct her name.

“Somin. I—I’m sorry.” Jungkook felt awkward. Here he was, sitting in front of his ex, who was undoubtedly a gorgeous woman. But after all they had been through—all she put him through—and all the healing you had done to his heart, he realized he had fallen out of love with her a long time ago. “I know you had hopes of us getting back together.”

“Well, of course we’re getting back together Kookie. We’re made for each other. Since we were 20! I know this thing with Y/N is just revenge. You wanted to make me mad, teach me a lesson,” she said as she reached out and grabbed Jungkook’s hand in hers, “and I have learned it. Christmas without you was so sad. I had no one to go out to all the holiday parties with.”

Jungkook shifted in the metal chair. “Look, Somin—”

“Why do you keep calling me that?” she interrupted again, and Jungkook let out a loud sigh as he tried to maintain his cool.

“Because, I’m trying to tell you that I—”

“Jungkook! Somin!”

The loud yell of the barista reading out orders cut Jungkook off for the third time, and he groaned, running his tattooed hand over his face. With a huff, he stood up, walking through the crowded cafe to get the drinks so he could just tell Somin the truth; he may have initially wanted to teach her a lesson, but he ended up being the person who learned something from it. He was in love with you; wanted to spend more holidays like the one that just passed, with you. He truly didn’t feel anything for Somin anymore, other than friendship.

While Jungkook was up, Somin noticed his bag was open, a fancy camera strap hanging out of it. It was embroidered; the phrase ‘you shine brighter than anyone’ apparent once she pulled it free from his oversized black backpack. Somin threw a glance over her shoulder at Jungkook, seeing him still busy, so she stuffed the strap into her purse. Grabbing her phone, she sent a text to Taehyung.

Jungkook set down the drinks before sitting down himself and commanding the attention of his ex. 

“Look, Somin, I just—I’m sorry.” Jungkook looked down at his hands before making eye contact with her. “I don’t see us getting back together. I—” he paused, taking a deep breath before he spoke his truth, “I’m in love with her, Minie. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I want to be happy. I want you to be happy with someone who feels about you, how I feel about her.”

Somin stared at Jungkook before she laughed. He was unsure of the emotions she was actually feeling; perplexed by her reaction to what he just told her. He didn't want to be with her anymore, and he wasn’t looking for her to beg, but he expected a little more... sadness? Push back? Once she was done laughing, she leveled her gaze at him.

“You, you’ve barely been seeing her Jungkook. How can you love her?”

Jungkook took a sip of his drink, gathering his thoughts before he answered her. The judgement that laced her tone made him angry, but he didn’t want to give Somin the upper hand. He wanted to be an adult about the situation. In retrospect, he hadn’t been honest with Somin when she first confessed to him, and you deserved for him to share that honesty now, even if it was coming 5 years later.

“I think—I think a part of me has always loved her. Since that first year. Don’t get me wrong, I think I loved you too and at some point we just… I think we just broke up and then made up too many times because it was easy… familiar. I love you Minie, and you were a huge part of my life. I’m just not IN love with you.” Jungkook leaned forward towards Somin, placing his hand over here, hoping that she would see and feel his sincerity and his benevolence. 

“Wow, I—You’re serious?” Somin’s voice was quiet as she questioned him. “I guess I didn’t think I’d be starting the new year without you.”

Jungkook watched as she slid her hand out from under his and placed it in her lap.

“Please, be happy for me Minie, and when you’re ready, I’ll be happy for you too.”

The loud chime from Somin’s phone went off. Jungkook watched as she looked at her screen, eyes growing wide.

“Shit, an emergency with Tae.” Somin looked up at Jungkook, her face soft and apologetic.

“Koo—I mean Jungkook, I was just surprised is all. I—I am happy for you and Y/N. Or, I guess it’s more like, I will be. I’m sorry, I have to run, but thank you for meeting with me.”

Somin gave him one last smile, as if showing she was throwing the towel in, before she stood up and left the cafe in a hurry. Jungkook watched her as she dashed off, disappearing down the sidewalk towards the nearest bus stop. He thought the meeting had gone well, or at least better than expected. Maybe Somin has grown up, he thought to himself, unaware of the way she made off cunningly with his gifted camera strap, using a text that confirmed the time for the next morning’s meeting with Taehyung as an excuse to escape.

——

After closing the door in Jungkook’s face, you retreated to your room, claiming that a headache was creeping in from the long train ride. Your sister nodded, engrossed in her latest K Drama. You rolled your suitcase into your room, stripped your travel clothes from your weary body, and entered your shower. 

Free to do as you pleased, with the water to cover the sound, you wept. How foolish you felt, letting Jungkook close to you once again, only to see him rush off to Somin. It was almost like what happened 5 years ago, when you had gone to his dorm room and found her confessing. Just like then, Somin was winning Jungkook; once again he had slipped through your grasp.

That night you texted Jungkook to tell him you would be going to the office early and that he needn’t pick you up.

Jungkook was relieved upon seeing your text. He had spent the better half of the evening and the morning tearing apart his apartment. He had called his parents, his brother, and overturned his luggage onto the floor. He could not find the camera strap you made him. 

He knew that he shouldn’t have taken it off the camera, but he spilled a bit of leftovers from his mom on it while on the train and removed it to make it easier to clean once he got home. 

Unfortunately, it was nowhere to be found. 

Jungkook was frantic; he knew that you made it for him that night you sat in the sewing room with your mom and sister while he was with your dad. Your mom had an embroidery machine, and so you snuck in there under the premise of bonding time and worked on it. He loved the phrase you chose for him; it reminded him of your love letter to him, the way you had written about him making you feel as beautiful as a night sky. “you looked at me as if the galaxies were reflected in my eyes...”

Dumping out his black backpack for the umpteenth time, Jungkook sifted through notebooks, film, wrappers from snacks, a small hygiene bag, and loose photos. He doesn’t know why he continued looking through the same places. It’s not there. Glancing at the clock, he realized he would be late to the Monday morning meeting. Giving up and putting everything he needed back into his bookbag, he stepped over the mess and headed out to his car.

Walking into the conference room, everyone looked tired from their holidays, but with the New Year around the corner, it was important for everyone to attend before January. SeoulM8’s comeback was fast approaching, and making sure everything was moving smoothly was imperative to whether the next holiday was spent relaxing or spent stressed out. 

Stirring your coffee, you walked through the propped open door and maneuvered your way over to where your assistants sat. Kim, the same one who brought you the tiger lillies several weeks ago, smiled at you as she slid you the stapled packet she printed out from the email.

“I think we’ve done all our parts, the photos Jeon emailed over have been approved by the boss, and we double-checked the designers they are wearing. I think all that’s left is to get final approval on the outfits for their comeback shows and interviews during comeback week.” 

You nodded, sipping the still hot coffee as Kim spoke quietly about the role you played for SeoulM8, eyes on the printed email. It didn’t help the way you could feel the mocha eyes of a certain ‘missing in action’ best friend burning into the side of your face; or the way the empty seat across from you saved for a certain ‘boyfriend’ of yours had your anxiety on edge.

With 5 minutes left until the meeting commenced, you had done a pretty good job at tuning out all of the mindless chatter around you, that is until Somin’s nasally voice interrupted your response to Kim.

“Oh, this? It’s just a little gift for JK.”

“But you broke up? He’s with Y/N now...” Hobi said, cutting off a reply from one of the assistants sitting near Somin.

“But we dated for 5 years, he’s still important to me. I think he’ll love it.” She turned her back to Hobi, who tried to make eye contact with you. You looked down at your coffee instead.

When Jimin and Taehyung walked into the room, everyone quieted down and took their seats if they weren’t already, assuming Bang PD, the head boss, would be quickly approaching behind them. Before the glass door could swing fully shut, Jungkook sprinted into the room, out of breath.

“Oh Jungkook, here!” Somin stood up, making a big show out of handing him the small gift bag that had been on the table in front of her. 

“Oh? Uh, thanks Minie.” Jungkook said, looking for the head boss. Bang PD was still missing from the room, so he grasped the colorful tissue paper from the bag and removed it in one swift pull. As the paper fluttered to the table, Jungkook’s eyes lit up as he took in the present.

“Oh my God, thank you!” Jungkook wrapped his arms around Somin in a huge hug, surprising everyone in the room watching, including you. Despite all of your negative thoughts about you and Jungkook’s future, seeing him react that way was unexpected and you felt your heart ache seeing him hold her in an embrace.

Sitting down, Jungkook turns to talk to Somin when you notice Bang PD walking down the long hallway towards the closed glass doors. 

You turned to the front of the room where SeoulM8 was seated next to the only empty chair in the room, fully intending to pay attention, but Jungkook’s movements directly across from you pulled your attention away. When you see the embroidered strap that YOU had given to him for Christmas a mere 2 days ago slide free from the bag, you see red. Before Bang PD can enter the room, you’ve already stood up. 

Both Namjoon and Jungkook look at you, followed by everyone else’s gaze; it’s too late to hide the tears that fall down your face. 

“Y/N, I can explain—” Jungkook said as you make your way around the table toward the door. He grabbed your wrist to stop you, but you pulled it from his grasp.

“Save it, Jeon. It’s over.”

You leave the meeting, walking brusquely past your boss with your head down. You type out a quick text to him as you take the elevator down, apologizing for leaving and saying that an emergency came up. Bang PD responds within a few moments.

Back in the conference room, Jungkook attempted to call you, but you sent him to voicemail twice. Giving up, he grabbed his bag, fully planning to follow you, when he saw Namjoon stand before he could. Throwing a dirty look at Jungkook, Namjoon shook his head at him before quickly following you out the door. 

You haven’t gone far, making it only to your office where you gathered up the rest of your belongings when Namjoon burst in.

“Y/N,” he sounded a little out of breath, probably from running to the elevator and then to your office, you assumed, “I—”

“Save it, Joon. You didn’t want to talk to me these past few weeks, so I don’t know why you’re here now.”

“Because I realized I love you.”

You stopped packing up your laptop, eyes slowly moving to meet his.

“What did you say?”

“I said I love you. I didn’t realize it until you started dating Jungkook, but I do.”

You shook your head back and forth, unable to hear or deal with his feelings right now.

“No, Namjoon, you don’t. You just miss Jennie.”

“Y/N, listen, I should’ve realized it was you. It’s always been you. You can’t honestly tell me that you’re in love with Jungkook?” Namjoon said this last part with contempt.

Tears fell once again, and you dropped your hands uselessly to your side.

“I do, Namjoon. I honestly love him.”

“Well, I hate to say I told you so, but-”

“Then don’t,” you voiced, cutting him off with an edge to your voice.

“You and Jungkook? Please. Anyone can see how different you are. You and me, though? We’re better for each other.”

“How different we are? Why? Am I too out of his league? Not pretty enough?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying, and you know it. You guys just aren’t compatible—”

“And how the fuck would you even know?! You saw us together at what? One party? And then at work? What do you even know about our relationship, Joon?! You’ve been angry at me ever since you found out!”

“Because you and him together isn’t right! It’s supposed to be you and me!”

“Oh please, Namjoon. If Jennie hadn’t taken that Japan job and dumped you, you wouldn’t even be here right now. I wouldn’t have even crossed your mind. This is a pointless conversation.”

You walked towards the door, bag over your shoulder and laptop case in hand. Namjoon blocked the doorway, and behind him you could see nosey coworkers watching the interaction. 

“Move, Namjoon.”

“Not until you talk to me.”

“No,” you go to shoulder past him, and you were able to back him up into the common area outside of your office. He grabbed at your shoulders, holding you still. 

“Namjoon, let go of me!” At this moment you hated that you had dressed up for this meeting; a tight a-line pencil skirt and heels that don’t allow you the movement that you needed.

Before you can shimmy from his clutches, he’s leaning forward, his lips meeting yours in a kiss. In shock, you don’t move at first, not until your free hand shoved his shoulder and pushed him a step back.

“I can’t believe you.” 

The look you gave him could burn the sun, and this time you were able to push past him; the elevator getting closer and closer as you approached. You saw Jungkook, motionless, at the platform in front of the elevators; his eyes low in a glare aimed at Namjoon, who had followed you in your haste to escape.

“Hyung, you need to leave her alone.”

“Me? I’m her best friend. I would say you were her boyfriend, but we all heard her break up with you when she left the room crying.”

“That was just a misunderstanding. So like I said, leave her alone.” Jungkook stepped forward to his full height, chest to chest with his hyung, who prior to watching him force a kiss on you, he respected a lot. The tension on the floor was thick. You were mere steps from freedom, from Namjoon and Jungkook, when his words stopped you dead in your tracks. A misunderstanding? 

Did he not understand what the words ‘It’s over’ meant? That the contract, the relationship between the two of you, however real or fake, everything was null and void? 

“It wasn’t a misunderstanding, Jungkook.”

Big, confused, doe eyes turned to face you. “Y/N, please let’s just talk about th—”

“Why don’t you take your own advice and listen to her, Kook. You could never treat her how she deserves.” 

“Why don’t you go mind your own business Namjoon.” Jungkook bit back, fists clenched as he shook, holding back his anger. He just wanted to be alone to talk to you, but Namjoon was making it difficult.

“She is my business, she’s my best friend. She’s nothing to you now. Though, knowing you, that’s probably the reason she broke up with you. I bet you didn’t treat Somin right, and now you fucked up with Y/N. Can’t do anything right, can yo—”

Jungkook’s fist flew through the air before you could tell either of them to stop talking about what they don’t know. The sound of Namjoon’s jaw connecting to his fist echoed through the large room, and the crowd of bystanders yelled out in shock at watching a full on fight start in the building.

You yelled as Namjoon tackled Jungkook around his middle, tackling him to the ground before he reared back his fist to punch him back. 

“Namjoon, stop, STOP!” you yelled as Jungkook flipped Namjoon onto his back, swapping places as he took the liberty to return the blow. Putting down your laptop and bag haphazardly, you rushed closer. Leaning down, you grabbed at Jungkook’s arm that was cocked back to throw another punch, yelling his name frantically.

“Jungkook, Kookie, PLEASE STOP!”

The two men looked at your face, their chests rising and falling rapidly as they tried to catch their breath. Jungkook’s eyes were dilated. As he took in your state, he seemed to come back to his senses. He started to climb up off of where he straddled Namjoon, pinning him to the floor, his hand reaching up towards you from where he was kneeled on the ground.

“Y/N, I’m sorry baby, please just talk to me.” Jungkook’s bottom lip was split, a small bit of blood leaking from the cut. His cheekbone was red; you knew a bruise would form there. Namjoon too tried to sit up, leaning on his elbow as his split eyebrow spilled his blood down the side of his face. He too would be sporting a shiner for the next week or so. 

You almost reached for Jungkook, returned the gesture to cradle that beautiful face, but you couldn’t. Him fighting Namjoon changed nothing about the fact that Somin had the present you gave him, that she brought it to him as if she had given it to him, let alone the response he gave her when he saw it. Backing away, you almost tripped over your belongings before you thought to collect them, and then dashed into the elevator, leaving the two men bleeding on the floor as the doors shut, cutting off the view.

——

Dealing with the aftermath of the fight was not something you thought would be so difficult to do. 

Working remotely meant not being able to turn off your phone so you didn’t miss any important calls or texts. Unfortunately, it also meant you had to deal with the barrage of texts and calls from friends and co-workers wanting to know about the fight. 

According to Jimin, the only person other than Kim who you were responding to, the whole office heard about the fight. With Jin being Jungkook’s roommate, and of course being the resident gossip, news traveled fast that the two men got into a fist throwing match over you. This only had you double down on avoiding messages, calls, and not posting to social media. It was unlike you; as a fashionista who worked with models and artists like SeoulM8 and Kim Seokjin, people looked to your accounts for updates. 

Your silence was killing Jungkook, the one person who had not given up. Jungkook hated to not give people time, but he had the feeling like the more time you had, the faster you would slip from his fingertips. You stared at your phone, watching his name light up on the screen as a picture of the two of you, set as his contact photo, taunted you with memories. 

All you could do was lay there, curled up on your bed in your pajamas for the second day in a row, hating yourself. Hating the fact that you allowed yourself to break your rules, that you let Jungkook into your heart for a second time, only to watch it all come crashing down because he couldn’t let go of Somin. What did Somin have that you didn’t? How was it that she always won?

5 years ago you lost Jungkook to her, after giving him your virginity, something he knew was a big deal, as he had given his to you in exchange. And now again, you had so foolishly fallen into bed with him again, and he ran back to Somin. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? You were already blaming yourself heavy for this one. 

Another day passed before you finally pulled yourself up out of bed long enough to shower and get dressed in a different set of sweats. A knocking sound at the front door had you tense up. Luckily, your sister answered the door, able to field away anyone who wanted to see you.

Creeping silently to the door of your bedroom, you cracked it open and listened to see who was there. From the angle you could see your sister, but not who was outside, nor could they see you. The warm tone was instantly recognizable, and your eyes widened as your sister looked back at you. Shaking your head profusely, she denied entry and shut the door, walking over to you. You back away from the door, letting her in as you sit on your bed. Crossing your legs, you grabbed a stuffie and clutched it to your chest.

“Hey, can you tell me what happened? Why are you hiding out at home and not answering Jungkook’s calls? What’s going on?”

You sighed, taking a much needed breath before you recounted the whole story. You told her about the journal entries being sent out, about how Namjoon had confronted you leading to you lying and saying you were with Jungkook, who came up with the plan to fake date each other until the Somin and Namjoon issues calmed down for both of you. 

She listened intently, shocked to hear that it was all fake, and she told you as much once you finished sharing about the fight that ensued on Monday.

“Sis, that man loves you. I could see it when he came to the door. I think you should talk to him.”

“No. It’s all my fault all of this happened anyways. If I hadn’t been drunk and sent those messages out, I would have never had to lie to Namjoon and start all of this.”

Yuna squirmed in your computer chair, her mouth twisted as if holding herself back.

“Actually, you didn’t do that.”

“What are you talking about Yuna? I saw the messages. I took the photos the night before because I wanted to upload them to an online journal platform.”

She nodded her head, wringing her fingers in her hand. “I know that, but you didn’t send them… I did.”

You stared at her, anger silently rising as you waited for her to continue. 

“I waited until you got into the shower. You know I read the entry to Namjoon, and so when you got into the shower, I used your phone and sent a message to each guy who’s name was both in the book and in your phone. I wanted you to have someone, instead of always spending your evenings at home, bored.”

“Yuna, you knew that I did not want Namjoon to know, he and Jennie had just... and I was trying to protect him, do you see what this did?!” You threw the plushie at her angrily, standing abruptly.

“I can’t believe you would invade my privacy, you could have ruined my career, if one of those messages had been sent to the wrong person, god damn it Yuna! You’ve ruined my fucking life!”

Yuna was crying, but she set the stuffed bunny back on your bed gently before she got up and headed to leave your room. Pausing at the door, her hand poised on the door knob, she turned back to face you.

“I didn’t ruin your life. You finally had a life. You’re the one running away from it now.”

With those parting words, she left your room, closing the door and leaving you alone with your thoughts.

After Yuna left you, she went to her own room, where she scrolled through social media to find Jungkook. You already blamed her, though she felt like it was misplaced, but she felt like she might as well do something to help fix the situation. Finding Jungkook’s IG account from the photos you tagged him in, she followed him. When he returned the follow, she messaged him to contact her. 

It didn’t take long for him to respond, and she asked him to meet her out somewhere. Agreeing on a local park, Yuna changed her shoes and left you moping in your room, a note on the counter that she was headed out.

Sitting on the bench, it wasn’t hard to spot Jungkook. His tousled black hair peeking from under his black beanie and the familiar black jacket was easy to spot against the white snow that had recently fallen, but like a Seoul snowfall, it wouldn’t stick for long. Carrying a hot cocoa for him and herself, Yuna held it out to him before she sat down, sipping on the warm drink.

“Yuna, I will say I’m surprised you reached out to me.” Jungkook’s usually bright voice was tinged with sadness as he looked over at her.

“I have something to tell you.” Yuna started, and Jungkook’s nerves grew.

“I was the one who sent the journal entry to you. Not my sister.”

“Oh? Okay. Thank you for telling me I guess.” Jungkook took another deep pull from the drink, letting the heat fill his body as he swallowed.

“I mean, I sent it because I didn’t want her to grow old and be alone. Every night, coming home bored to drink wine with her baby sister and watch reruns on Netflix? I wanted her to fall in love. And she did. With you.”

“I don’t think so, Yuna. She wasn’t in love with me.”

“She was; she still is! She told me everything that happened. About how dating you was all fake. But I know it wasn’t. Not for her. And not for you. No one acts the way you two acted. I know my sister; when she told me what happened, I knew that she was hurt because she’s in love with you. Like, still in love with you. She just doesn’t believe you love her back.”

Yuna stared at Jungkook, watching the way her words sank in, waiting to confirm what she already knew: Jungkook was in love with you, too.

Jungkook’s voice was quiet when he finally spoke. “How do I convince her? That I love her back?” 

“I wish I knew Jungkook. I wish I knew. But if you don’t do something soon, I think you’ll lose her.”

——

Friday was New Year’s Eve, and you had to put up with Yuna running around like a lunatic cleaning the apartment to ring in the new year. You had finally resigned yourself to forgiving her for sending the journal entries. It was over and done with, and there was nothing more to do. Monday, you would be back at work like nothing happened, and didn’t want to go into the new year holding onto this year’s anger or sadness.

Yoongi, surprisingly, had reached out to you the day before about a party he was having to ring in the new year, and at first you didn’t want to go, but the longer you thought about it, you figured you should. Why spend the new year at home, where your sister would relentlessly tease you until she left. She had her own plans this year, going to a classmates to drink and watch the fireworks; so if you stayed home, you would be alone.

And you were tired of being alone. Sleeping in, you didn’t get up to join your sister in cleaning until later in the afternoon, going through your closet, bedroom, and bathroom.

You were scrubbing your shower when you heard the doorbell, but your sister, ever the nosey one, yelled that she would get it, so you continued cleaning, forgetting that someone had come to the door by the time you finished cleaning the bathroom. 

When you finally stopped cleaning for the day, it was close to 9 PM, so you decided to get ready for the night out at Yoongi and Hobi’s place. After about an hour and a half, you were dressed, makeup done, and ready for the party. You ventured out of your room, noticing a large blue hatbox on the kitchen counter.

“Yuna! What’s this blue box?” you yelled, and her reply carried from down the hall.

“A delivery, for you, from earlier!”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you grumbled, cursing your sibling as you reached to remove the lid off of it. Inside was what looked like a photobook, a beautiful ombre of pinks and purples decorating the cover. Removing it from the box, you flip it open, noticing right away the neat handwriting that could only belong to one person. 

Sighing, you carry it to the couch, where you read the inscription he penned inside. 

“Right at this moment, I think of you.” 

Flipping through the pages, you see he’s created a scrapbook of the past month spent together. Pictures of the two of you at work, the park, each other’s places, and visiting each other’s families. Pictures of you sleeping in his arms, candids where you aren’t even aware of him taking the photos.

Each photo is vibrant, in his style of catching the light just right as it caresses your face, and you’ve never seen yourself look so beautiful. He’s scribbled little notes here and there, of what he noticed or what was happening when he snapped the camera, and you can’t help but blush when you see a photo in there of you after the two of you had sex. 

“I reach out my hand, and feel your breath. With eyes closed, before we know it, we’re together.”

Your fingers trace over the photo, where Jungkook’s face is, looking at you so lovingly as you sleep on his chest, the bed sheets from his childhood bedroom covering you both strategically so nothing indecent shows. 

The last page has a handwritten letter, not unlike the one you wrote for him all those years ago, with a tiger lily pressed inside. You looked up the meaning of the flower earlier in the day when you found the large vase while cleaning. Please love me. With shaky hands, you held the photobook and began to read.

Y/N, 

5 years ago, you thought you were in love. I can tell you with certainty that 5 years later I pray that you are, because I am so in love with you. The way you see me, I don’t think I’ve ever been seen before. My whole life I’ve been behind the camera capturing others. And somehow you have taken the camera from me and now I’m the one being captured and seen. And I love it. You make me feel like I’m not just made up of the same ingredients that make up the stars in the sky, you make me feel like the very galaxy reflected in your eyes when you look at me. You’re beautiful, and I, Jeon Jungkook, am so in love with you. When I say I’ve always loved you, that there is no start, so there can be no end: we are fated—destined; you are mine as much as I am yours. These photos are only a fraction of the way I see you, the many shades that make up who you are, how could I ever capture them all? Please know, I want to spend the rest of time trying. So in case you didn’t see it, or weren’t sure: I love you. I want to be with you. No contracts, just you, wholeheartedly as mine, and me as yours.

——

It was nearing 11 when you reached Yoongi and Hobi’s house, leaving the Uber driver with a confused look at the way you dashed out of his car. You could care less; the man you were in love with was inside that house, right now, and you would be damned to let him get away again.

Pushing through the crowd of bodies, you looked side to side, searching for the familiar black tresses, ears straining to hear his musical laugh or catch someone saying his name. Entering the living room, your eyes fell on the beer pong table, where Jimin and Taehyung were playing against Yoongi and Hobi. 

Destination set on getting to that table, you wade through the throng of people with the obligatory happy new year. Some attempted to stop to ask you how you’ve been, fill you in on the latest office gossip, or inquire about the exact relationship status of Jungkook. Those in the latter category were met with major side-eye. Plastering a fake smile on your face each time, you finally shake the last of them, jogging the last few steps until your right on the edge of the game.

“Y/N! Glad to see you!” Hobi was his typical cheerful self, greeting you with his signature smile as he watched Taehyung try and line up his shot in the cups Yoongi just re-racked.

“Hey Hobi, Happy almost New Year! Have you seen Jungkook?” you asked, skipping straight to the point.

“Um, yea, he came by earlier to drop off a few kegs for us, helped us move the furniture, but he went home. Said he wasn’t really feeling like celebrating.”

Yoongi, who had just grabbed the ping pong balls before they bounced off the table, handed one to Hobi as he gave you a pointed look.

“Yea, looked pretty heartbroken all week, if you ask me.”

“Well, no one did Yoongi. Give her a break,” Hobi answered before turning to you, “he’s probably at home. You can get there before midnight if you get an Uber quick.”

Thanking him, you threw your arms around him and Yoongi in a shared hug before waving to the other two on the far side of the table. You had someplace to be.

Outside in the quiet, you requested an Uber, happy to see one not even 2 minutes away. Thankfully, Jungkook only lived 10 minutes or so from the guys. You hoped traffic would be on your side. You knew you were cutting it close; 11:30 was approaching fast.

The ride to Jungkook’s apartment gave you too much time to think. Those 15 minutes (thanks drunk pedestrians) on the car ride over allowed the nerves to settle in, along with the doubt and fears. What if he didn’t feel that way about you anymore? What if he just wanted to bring you the photobook as a goodbye?

Shaking the thought from your head, you took a deep breath before you climbed out of the car and into the hushed cold of the last day of December. You had never shown up to his place unannounced like this, so used to trailing him into his apartment. The closed door was daunting to you, but you didn’t have much time now.

Knocking louder than you needed to due to those pesky butterflies in your stomach, what feels like an hour is only 10 seconds or so until Jungkook is standing before you. 

“Hi,” you said, breathless from the cold and from the sight of him after so many days apart.

“Hi,” he responded, looking just as mesmerized to see you at his doorstep, “uh, wanna come in?” Jungkook took a step back, giving you space to come in and you stepped forward into the welcomed warmth of his home.

The scene before you is not what you were expecting. Jungkook had been sitting in the dark, a half eaten pizza and a beer bottle on the coffee table, with his favorite blue and grey plaid blanket haphazardly cast aside on the couch; most likely from when he stood to welcome you.

Shucking off your boots, you walked into the living room, Jungkook silently trailing you.

“I—I’ve missed you.” His voice is low, as if afraid he would spook you.

“I’ve missed you too.” You turned to face him, the light from the paused Netflix show reflecting in his beautiful orbs. You took in his face, split lip mostly healed and the bruise faded along his cheek.

“I got your gift.”

“I’m glad.”

The conversation between the two of you was static, neither sure of what to do. The silence ticked on for a few more seconds before you decided to stop being a pussy.

“Did you mean it? What you said?”

“Of course I did.”

“I’m glad,” you repeated his earlier phrase, stepping closer to him. You placed your hands on his chest, solid muscles reacting to your touch as he subconsciously flexed them. “Because I love you, too.”

Rising on your tippy toes, you pressed your lips to his, your body relaxing when you heard the sigh he let out from the contact. His hands pulled you closer, deft fingers gripping you in all the right places as he deepened the kiss. He tasted faintly of pizza and beer, and smelled so strongly of his vanilla musk. You couldn’t believe how much he felt like home to you. Being in his arms felt right. 

Bending slightly, Jungkook wrapped his arms under your thighs and lifted you up, never breaking the kiss. Hoisting you up, he carried you down the hall to his room, foot kicking the door shut behind him. So turned on by his show of strength, you rolled your hips down onto what was his growing length, seeking any friction that would help ease the ache between your thighs. 

Letting out a groan, Jungkook’s hands guided your hips roughly to where he wanted you, lining up your sweet spot so you could grind on him better. Licking into his mouth, your hands tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. A slight tug exposed more of his neck, where you planted markers of your territory as you continued rolling your hips in time to his movements. 

“I want you.” The whispered words went straight to your core; hearing Jungkook’s voice break with need, need for you—you couldn’t get out of your clothes fast enough.

“Bed. Now.” You demand, and he laughs as he follows your directives, setting you down once he approached the edge of his queen sized mattress. You tug your jacket off, tossing it to the foot of his bed before peeling your shirt up over your head to reveal your bra to him. He doesn’t get to look too long; you’ve gripped the waistband of his grey sweatpants and pulled them low enough to free him from it’s confines. His cock sprung free, and, licking your lips, you switch positions with him. 

With his back to the bed, you pushed him down, and he went easily. Pressing your hand to his chest, you lay him back as you bend at the waist, bringing your mouth to his leaking head. You lick the bottom of his shaft up to the slit, collecting the pre-cum with the tip of your tongue before you take the head into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the sensitive tip. Under your hand, you feel his abdominal muscles contract as he lets out a moan letting you know how good you feel as you take him farther into your mouth. 

Speeding your ministrations, you hollow your cheeks as you slurp around the head, using your hands to massage the dripping spit along the exposed skin you can’t reach. His hands grip your hair creating a makeshift ponytail to keep it out of your face so he can watch you. And wow, does he love the sight of your lips wrapped around his cock, innocent eyes blinking coyly up at him while your mouth is stretched around him. Keep it up and he could cum too quickly in your mouth.

When your free hand traveled to his scrotum, he jumped, feeling an overwhelming sense of pleasure as his sack tensed up.

“Wait, baby, I don’t want to cum yet.” Jungkook panted, and you pop off of him with a lewd sound that filled the quiet of his room.

Tugging you towards him, he scooted back on the bed until his head was flush with the headboard. 

“Strip for me,” he urged, and you did, undoing the button on your jeans and sliding them down until you were naked from the waist down. His eyes stared pointedly at your chest and you unclasped your bra, adding it to the growing pile of clothes the two of you had made. Watching as he shed his shirt before laying back fully, kicking his sweats free from his body, you climbed onto the bed, and he directed you farther up his body until he could maneuver your thighs to either side of his face. 

“Jungkook—”

“I’ve wanted you like this for so long, baby, please.”

Giggling softly, you lowered yourself slowly and he wound his arms around your thighs until his palms were wrestling lightly on them. The slow caress as he drew patterns on your skin matched the same pattern he drew with his tongue, you realized once he had you fully seated. Gripping the headboard, you threw your head back, rolling your hips as his lips and tongue ravaged you, the sexual sounds of him eating you out creating more for him to drink down. 

Curving your back to make you hunch forward, you adjust as the pleasure builds and you see his eyes, those bright galaxies staring at you as he pleasured you to climax and you tensed as the coil in your abdomen snapped, a mix of curse words and his name pouring from your lips as he worked you through it.

Placing your hands on his sweat laced forehead, you pushed to try and pull away from the overstimulation as he let out a laugh.

Scooting yourself down his body once he released you, you fell back and to the side of his muscular thighs, trying to catch your breath. You feel him moving, a low chuckle released as his hands grasped your wrists. Pulling you up, you see he’s now seated flush to the headboard, back against the soft grey padding. He guides your hips so that you straddle him, sitting your still sopping wet cunt onto his cock. Pressed against his stomach, he can feel the warmth emanating from your opening, and groaned, wanting to be inside of you.

Pressing his forehead to yours, his eyes meet yours as he intertwines your fingers before resting your interlocked hands behind your back at the curve of your ass.

“I love you.” His voice is strong, sure and confident in the words he says as he bares more than just his body before you. “I wanted you so badly back then, I want you even more now.” He presses a kiss to your lips, causing you to grind down on him. 

He kisses down your neck, hands still holding you in position over him. “Want to be inside of you, baby.” He nips at your neck, making you gasp, and when you rock forward, he’s rocking his hips down. 

The head of his cock presses against your core, and you settle back onto it, walls stretching to accommodate his girth. The two of you move in tandem, lips once again reunited in a raunchy kiss that only serves to turn you on more, sending enough slick between your lower lips to allow him to slip further into you until he’s bottomed out, a snug fit as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix. 

Releasing your hands, his large palms hold your back to pull you closer to him as you swivel your hips, rocking so the shaft slips in and out of you in short bounces. You rock, arms wrapped lazily around his neck as you play with the wet locks of hair as you ride him at your leisure, just enjoying the feel of your bodies connected as one. Chest to chest, you can feel the speed of his heart beat; it matches your own. 

“Can I go faster?” you asked, not wanting to go at a pace he wasn’t comfortable with.

“You can use me however you want, baby,” he replied, eyebrow cocked smugly as he gripped your waist tighter, “but please tell me I can cum inside.”

Nodding as you sped up, you bounced with more friction, his pelvic bone rubbing against your clit as you chased your high, fucking yourself on his formiddable cock.

“That’s it, fuck, baby, right there—” Jungkook’s moans, musical as he egged you on, brought you to your peak for the second time that night. Your walls clenched around him, and as your body froze, he took advantage of the moment to shift your bodies so you were on your back with your head to the foot of the bed. Bracing his feet on edge where his mattress met the headboard, he began to piston his hips into you, chasing his own high.

“Fuck, Jungkook, I’m gonna—again—” You can barely get the words out when your third orgasm is crashing around you, legs shaking from where they’re wrapped tightly around his narrow hips. Your release makes it wetter, and your swollen walls ache to feel his cum fill you.

“Gonna fill you up so good, baby, fuck a—baby into you, fuck, I want to see you carry my—my kid,” Jungkook’s cock is drowning in your essence, and hearing him talk about kids with you causes you to tighten around him, and he’s cumming, long ropes of his hot cum filling you until it’s seeping out around him as he continues to thrust indiscriminately, velvet muscle milking him dry.

Laying skin to skin in his bed, you laugh as the alarm clock numbers alert you to the fact that you had missed the New Year by 38 minutes. 

“What’s so funny?” Jungkook asked, eyes alight as he takes in your smile. 

“We missed New Year’s.”

“We didn’t miss it, we were simply enjoying our New Year’s kiss for longer than most.” He quipped back, fingers tracing patterns along your back. Your own nails were lightly scratching shapes into his chest as you rested your head on his shoulder. You spent the next 20 minutes of the first hour of the new year listening to him explain what happened with the camera strap, though you had already forgiven the incident. 

He wasn’t sure how Somin had the camera strap, though he suspected she stole it from his bag at the cafe. Jungkook told you about the meeting, how it helped him see that you weren’t a rebound; he was in love with you and while it was obvious to him, a part of him wanted to be sure before confessing to you. He didn’t want you to think he was rushing into things to get over his ex. He also apologized for fighting Namjoon, saying he was worried that seeing him fight would change how you viewed him, change his chances of being with you, this time for real.

“I love you, Jungkook, in case you didn’t know.”

“I love you too, in case you didn’t know.” 

“Hmm, but, I think we need to talk about children though, I think it’s a little too soon, despite our parents' ideas.” You giggled, and his cheeks turned red in embarrassment.

“It was just sex talk, we’re still just practicing, okay?”

Stretching, you roll away from his body, and he follows your body heat subconsciously, his body not wanting you far from him after almost a week of radio silence. 

“Hey, get back here, you’re mine.”

“Oh am I?” you teased, staying just out of his reach.

He pouted, accent slipping out as he moved closer to your retreating body.

“Yes, you’re mine, no rules, no contracts; just mine.”

“ ‘m all yours, baby,” you mumbled as you rubbed your nose to his in an eskimo kiss as he gathered you up in his arms, “and you’re mine.”

UPDATE (5.18.21): 1st Prologue is Out Now!

BTW, ily ⟢ summary: Taking place in the To All the Men I’ve Fucked Before (TATMIFB) AU, this pre-story is the backstory to you and Namjoon’s friendship. A year after losing your virginity to Jungkook, you meet Namjoon, who becomes your best friend… and who you want so much more with. Before you and Jungkook get it together in To All the Men I’ve Loved Before, there was BTW, ily.

Thank you all so much for reading! I plan on doing an epilogue and some drabbles to get more insight into the pasts of these characters! I love them so much, I don’t think I am ready to let go. The masterlist will be updated as more are added! TATMIFB Masterlist

↣ all rights reserved © hisunshiine 2021. please do not repost. translations & modifications are not allowed.

[pinkplantmakesstuff]

Introducing my newest Guild Wars 2 character: Proto!

There were going to be a bunch more drawings of how they worked but I kinda had a weird day so I didn't get round to it, but I’ll write up their info anyway! I’m gonna put it under the cut coz otherwise this post is LOOOONG.

General About

Proto is a small robot orb designed and made by the inquest - the point was to make a sentient weapon they could control that changes shape on the battlefield to confuse enemies and kill them with ease. Problem is this was the very first one they ever made, and Proto actually didn’t want to kill people or be told what to do. Before they could calibrate it or remove their sentience or whatever, Proto managed to escape from the lab!

Some balooney science coming up: but the orb that Proto actually is, is protected by the light shield that forms the form they are currently projecting. The shield/hologram feels like very hot glass (think a window that’s been in summer sun all day) and can shift into whatever form Proto wants. The larger the shape, the more energy it drains however, which is why they very rarely assume the form of a Charr or Norn. Asura form the can go without recharging for a week, Human or Sylvari Form they can go every couple of days, and Charr or Norn or anything bigger then a person they have to recharge within a few hours.

Their original form was obviously of a glowing red Asura, but to spite their makers they use the colour blue, and also personally feel uncomfortable with looking like an Asura, though they do often give themselves bigger ears like their creator.

Proto choose the name Proto them-self. They are a small orb with not much world experience (at the moment) and are now disconnected from any and all asuran networks. They didn’t want to be called Prototype Designation (And then a bunch of numbers) so they just took the first part of the word Prototype. Their name and the use of they/them is the only thing they know solidly about themselves. They HATE being referred to as an It and hate when people refuse to call them by their chosen name (Which I think makes sense and probably fairly relatable but also they are an orb so are desperately trying to cling onto any form of identity they can claim as their own)

They do however quite like the form I drew them in; I’m trying to find a way that they saw Casey (Alec’s friend who I still haven’t drawn or properly written about) and decided they liked the way she looked so assumed parts of that for their own appearance. 

Proto doesn’t use traditional weapons, instead their body shifts into whatever shape they need. They often shift their arms into very sharp swords for combat, though sometimes turns one arm into a bow to shoot protected light arrows. And yes the hologram/shield HURTS. It’s very very hot, incredibly sharp light so yeah that can slice you in two. The inquest knew (mostly) what they were doing when they designed Proto.

With enough force you can shatter the hologram shield though to reach the orb, I have a scene I wanna draw where someone does that and crushes the orb because I need me some edgy scenes.

If they get injured/damaged they cannot repair them-self and have to seek help.

Initially Proto doesn’t have any legs on the orb part so they have to roll around which they find humiliating (they only do this when they need to sneak away, have run out of enough power to form the shield hologram or are too damaged.) At some point someone kindly makes them some small stumpy robot legs that they will kick you with (though it won’t hurt at all) if you call their orb form cute.

Their orb form is just as expressive as their hologram shied form too, as I tried to show in the drawings. It’s about the size of a baseball I think.

Personality/Behaviour

Proto is very playful, they love telling jokes and tricking people for fun. The biggest problem is they currently have no real concept of what is and isn’t acceptable.

 They also have very very limited capacity of Action and Consequence. For example, they might push you out of a tree because it’ll be really funny, but they won’t want you to get injured. Problem is you have to hit the ground at some point and might break and arm. Proto didn’t mean for you to get hurt but in that moment they wanted to do something becasue it was funny but hadn’t thought it through. This is partly because they initially weren’t designed to think of things like consequences (they were designed to murder on a battlefield with no remorse) and they are a tiny orb with very small rooms for data processing  and very little outside experience/experience with dealing with people and how they work.

Proto also isn’t stupid by any means. They are actually very intelligent. The problem is they initially have very cheap and small memory/data banks much to their own frustration so they find it very difficult to currently learn and expand their thinking. And without being connected to any network they have to try and keep their knowledge of the world itself at the forefront so they can literally survive as this little orb in the big world of Tyria.

They can learn however with time and experience (and maybe some updated memory banks), but will still retain their love of playing tricks.

They can also feel emotions, albeit in a way that most people wouldn’t understand. A real life example would be that Proto has Alexithymia - they can have limited emotions but don’t have the capacity to understand or process them (And don’t come at me about “You can’t compare people with Alexithymia to a robot” Most people haven’t even heard of Alexithymia and it’s something I very much have and I specifically decided I wanted to write into Proto so I could characterise them in a way I could understand. Wick also has alexithymia and so does Axelia. If people want/ I might do it anyway, I think I’ll make a post about alexithymia coz it genuinely has a massive impact on how I interact with the world and people compared to others)

They actually have a voice and it’s the blooming Google US English robot voice synthesizer. So you can definitely hear that they aren’t a ‘real person’.

ANYWAY that’s MOST of the stuff I could currently think of, I wanted to do a bunch of drawings of their weapon form/asura form but I had a kinda weird/bad day so I didn’t get around to it but I still wanted to post this. Overall Proto is like a poltergeist who doesn’t actually mean harm and just wants to make friends. Also I haven’t made them in game yet. I’ll probably make them as a blue sylvari and then try really hard to get one of those fancy effects infusions, but I’ll do that...at some point XD

Also just saying...it’d be neat if other people came up with hologram orb things too XD

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

S.T. REWRITE - S2:E8; Chapter Eight, The Mind Flayer - [Pt. 1]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

An unlikely hero steps forward when a deadly development puts the Hawkins Lab on lockdown, trapping Will and several others inside.

A/n: This series has blown up so much, I don’t know how to thank you guys! I love you all!!

Warnings: Domestic violence, and a homophobic slur. Ugh, just Billy's dad in general. jc, this guy sucks. If you feel you need to skip this scene altogether, I completely understand. I will place the usual marker [●●●] at the beginning and end so you can scroll quickly. Safe reading, loves!

||3rd Person POV||

As Hopper gazes into the inky darkness, a great unending bellow erupts from within the pit. The elevator cables are struck by something below, indicated by their sudden whip that fell into a dull vibrating blur and soft twang. Immediately, a slender grey claw erupts from the shadows digging into the concrete edge. Emerging after it, was the figure attached, the beasts they could barely make out on the live feed. The same monster from the previous year, that thing this damn lab unleashed unto El and her poor friends. Hopper couldn't believe his eyes or his piss poor luck. Seemingly, neither could Dr. Owens who had numbly stepped closer to the window, next to Hop.

"Mother of God."

With stilled silence, everyone watches, eyes trained on the creature not knowing what to expect. And upon first glance, neither does the mutant. It stalks forward. It's eyeless bud-shaped head inspecting the glass before it rises to its hind legs, placing it's front claws on the glass. On the opposite side, Hopper leans closer to the pane, brows furrowed and ears perked as he takes advantage of seeing this unknown species up close.

The advantage doesn't last long, however, when the mutant takes one glance at Hopper and Owens individually - as if sizing them up, frighteningly enough - and it lets out a foggy huff before ramming its now open head into the glass. The two men jump back alarmed as it continues this, each strike against the glass is with more and more force and aggression.

"It's... It's polycarbonate. It can't get through." Dr. Owens utters, shuffling back despite his words.

On cue, the four-legged Demogorgan split it's head, and a bone-chilling shriek pierced the air. The shrill cry carried through the air, bouncing off the walls and deep within the caverns, continuously feeding into itself. The echo was enough to worry everyone, that was until they saw the elevator cables begin to move once more. It was then they realized, it had not been an echo, but the voices of dozens of its siblings. And they were all scrambling up the walls, out of the pit, and to its aid.

"Mother Mary and Joseph," murmured the man at the coms.

Another screech and they all fell in line taking orders. Not a single creature hesitated, and it was only a matter of moments before the pristine, spotless glass was near shattering. Hundreds of webbing cracks painted the glass to a point the creatures became harder to see.

"You sure about that glass?" Hopper piped.

His face flushed, Owens steps back to the panel, knowing what has to be done.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

The shrill alarm has reached the rest of the lab, bouncing off the cold white walls and alerting Bob and Mike.

"What the hell?" Bob asks, his protective grip on Mike feigning.

"We're too late," Mike realizes, voice grave.

"What?"

"We're too late!"

Mike escapes Bob's grip with ease, sprinting for Will's room where Joyce rises from her seat beside Will.

"What's going on?"

"We're under attack." Mike pants, face flushed.

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"What's going on down there? Does anybody copy?"

The officer's voice echoes out of the speakers in the control room, though stifled by their panicked cries and the scuffle of their shoes on the floor as they run. Hopper is the last to exit, assuring everyone has made it out safely. The steel door slams shut just in the nick of time, no sooner does the splintered glass windows shatter into a thousand pieces, and the swarm floods in.

In the hall, Hopper and Owens flee with the other workers. That is until Owens finds a shortcut.

"Stairs, stairs!" He pants, shoving Hopper for the door. "Come on,"

The two men are able to safely retreat to the next floor, returning to the main floor. The same could not be said for the remainder of the team, who found themselves cornered in the elevator as the army broke free.

In Will's room, Mike spots the bottle of anesthesia and quickly snatches it up in his hands, turning to Joyce.

"We need to make Will sleep," He orders.

"What?"

"He's a spy! If he knows where we are, so does the Mind Flayer!"

Will sits up, his actions are suddenly frightened and hasty. He's furious. His once hazel eyes are almost completely black now. He quickly turns to Joyce and cries out.

"He's lying!"

"He killed those soldiers and he'll kill us, too!" Mike warned.

This only angered Will more, he shot up in his bed now fighting against Joyce's efforts to hold him down. He is screeching now, utterly infuriated and desperate as he fights against Joyce.

"He's lying! He's lying! HE'S LYING! HE'S LYING! HE'S LYING!"

The elevator has arrived on their floor, and when the designated guards arrive, the doors open revealing the several torn up bodies of the extraction team. The army of Demogorgan mutants don't hesitate on their newest targets, they stalk forward, their speed quickly climbing. In a flurry they scramble for their guns, shooting the evermoving targets as they pounce.

The gunfire echoes throughout the entire floor, including Will's room. Bob is at Will's bedside, aiding Joyce in restraining him, and he is the first to hear them.

"Those are gunshots!"

Everyone looks to the door, but their attention is quickly pulled back to Will who is still fighting.

"He's lying! HE'S LYING!"

Frightened, and short-fused, Joyce grips Will's arms.

"Okay, Will, Will, listen, listen. Do you know who I am?"

Will only looks dumbstruck, he looks at the woman before him, his body still half attempting to escape. At that moment, she knows Will is in there, but he has to fight for control.

"Do you know who I am?" She yells.

"You're..."

He falters, sending another crack through her heart as he searches his mind for her identity. And every moment seems to last an eternity, but when he finally spoke, she knew Will was losing his battle.

"You're... You're Mom."

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she looks to Bob with a determination in her eyes. Her pain is turning to anger.

"Hold him down."

Bob complies as she retrieves the needle and vial from Mike. Will comes alive, his anger - the mind flayer's anger - erupts from his frame and he is kicking and screaming with every ounce of energy he can muster.

"No! NO! LET GO! NO! NO! LET ME GO! LET GO!"

She steps forward, needle in hand, and quickly pins his arm down. She knows it is the mind flayer's doing, but she can't help but see the look of terror in Will's eyes and feels a wave of guilt. But she does not stop.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO-!"

"I'm sorry," she cooed, fighting to keep his arm down. "I'm so sorry."

"LET ME GO!"

Mike tries to cover his ears, Will's frightful and all-too frightening shrieks pierce his skull and heart. And he can't help but think, he knew now more than ever it was the Mind Flayer, not his best friend. The only other time he had seen him this angry - this threatened - was with Y/n.

The needle breaks his skin and not a moment sooner does his cries begin to die down, and from there, it is only seconds before he is completely subdued by unconsciousness. At that same moment, Hopper and Owens burst through to the door, to find an unconscious Will, and Joyce, needle in hand. They manage to put the pieces together when without warning, a thunderous crash and inhuman howl grab everyone's attention. Everyone turns to see the pair of oak doors at the end of the hall begin to crack and splinter, piece by piece falls to the floor with each forceful strike. The creatures have reached the main floor.

Hopper pales. "We gotta go. We gotta go,"

He spins on his heel, racing for Will's bed and he swiftly sweeps the boy's small frame up with ease. Joyce, Bob, and Mike follow, not without making off with more morphine before their haste escape. The new group makes it to the outer rim before they witness a pack of these creatures take down several lab employees just up ahead. Before they can flee from where they came, the sound of rapid gunfire comes first. They are forced to pilot away and out of the hall through a narrow doorway where they find themselves in one of the labs' surveillance rooms.

Owens is the last to enter, closing the door behind him and Bob is the first to take note of the chaos unfolding on the many screens.

"Oh, my god," he gasps, drawing everyone's attention to the screens.

Everyone stops to gape at the many images of scattered bodies sprinkled throughout the labs' otherwise empty halls. Every monitor displays the contorted figures of the otherworldly creatures stalking the halls, prowling. Hunting. The lab is overrun.

The fluorescence lights above their heads begin to flicker, and just as quickly, all power has been lost, the monitors first to go. Amidst the pitch back, the group huddles close as the strident battle cry of the swarm echoes through the darkness making one simple fact abundantly clear;

Hawkins Lab has officially become the hunting ground for the army of the Upside Down.

[●●●]

On the other side of town, Neil and Susan Hargrove pull into their driveway in a rusty '71 pickup. Stepping inside, placing her shopping bags onto the dining room, Susan calls out to her daughter and step-son.

"Hey, guys, we're home." Receiving no reply, she wanders down the hall in search of any sign of life. "Guys? Hello? Max?"

She reaches Max's room first, opening the door to find the room empty, save for the abandoned taped up skateboard, and the open window. The drapes dance in the wind, reflecting the soft yellow light from the girl's bedside lamp, and it was clear to her that the room had not been touched all evening. Attempting to stifle her growing concern, she steps forward and closes the sliding window shut disregarding the chill the autumn night brought.

Inside his room, heavy rock music blaring from his stereo, Billy takes a long and deep breath, letting the smoke of his third cigarette of the day fills his lungs. He bounces on the balls of his heels to the rhythm of the beat before his mirror as he preps himself for his night out. The moment is almost perfect had it not been for the persistent knocking on his door and the sound of his stepmother.

"Billy?"

"Yeah, I'm a little busy in here, Susan," He calls.

"Open the door," Bellows his father. "Right now."

Now his night was completely ruined.

Stuffing down his fear and anger, Billy marches across his room and throws open his door. As it always seemed to go, he found his father looking down on him, seething, and a troubled and anxious Susan at his side.

"What's wrong?"

"Why don't you tell us?" His father spits.

Billy shrugs, perturbed. "Because I don't know."

"We can't find Maxine," Susan says.

"And her window's open."

Billy looks away, hiding his inward sigh. Getting on his father's bad side was never a good thing. It was rare to come out on the other side without a welt or bruise or two. And Billy was always his favorite target. That is after his mother left the picture. Whatever hell Max had just cooked up, was more shit he'd have to pay.

"Where is she?"

Biting the bullet, Billy shrugs.

"I don't know,"

"You don't know?" Neil scoffs, rage quickly rising to the surface.

All Billy can do now is throw water on the fire, but he knows he's only buying moments.

"Look, I'm sure she just, I don't know, went to the arcade or something." He says, retreating into his room. "I'm sure she's fine."

Neil follows, swiping at his mouth, a habit of anger as he follows his son to his closet.

"You were supposed to watch her," He growls.

"I know, Dad. I was," Billy sighs, throwing on his coat. "It's just you guys were three hours late, and, well, I have a date."

Pulling his mullet out from under his coat, straightening out he shrugs. "I'm sorry, okay?"

His father crosses his arms, glaring at him as he gestures to his mirror. "So that's why you've been staring at yourself in the mirror-like some faggot instead of watching your sister?"

"I have been looking after her all week, Dad." Billy snaps. "Okay? She wants to run off, then that's her problem all right? She's thirteen years old. She shouldn't need a full-time babysitter. And she's not my sister!"

Billy steps forward, slamming the off button on his stereo. The music stops just as he feels the force of his father shoving him into the wall. Neil steps closer, his grip on Billy's jacket tightening.

"What did we talk about?" He growls.

His son does not answer, and his fist swings up to meet Billy's cheek. Susan looks away fearfully, unable to witness his beatings yet neglects to step in. Neil brings his hand near Billy's throat in an act to threaten him, his sign of warning.

"What did we... talk about?"

Billy swallows the urge to fight back, no matter how demanding and he has to spit out the words his father wants to hear.

"Respect and responsibility," He repeats, hating himself for the waver in his voice that his father always seemed to bring out in him.

His father nods. "That is right,"

He shoves Billy further into the bookshelf, the boy fights a wince as his spine digs further against the wood.

"Now, apologize to Susan,"

Billy takes a deep, shaky breath. The only thing keeping him from any act - any sign - of defiance is the fiery, hostile glare he is held under.

"I'm sorry, Susan," He says.

The woman shifts uncomfortably in the doorway. Fearful of anything she says, less it inflict more pain on Billy, or herself.

"It's okay, Neil," she eases. "really, I-"

"No," he roars, jostling his son once more. "it's not okay. Nothing about his behavior is okay."

He waves a stubby finger in Billy's face, reluctantly letting him go and stepping back once he felt assured the lesson had been instilled.

"But he's going to make up for it," He turns around to look in her frightened eyes. "He's gonna call whatever whore he's seeing tonight and cancel their date. And then he's gonna go find his sister. Like the good, kind, respecting brother that he is."

He returns his attention to his son, who stands frozen, tears misting his eyes.

"Isn't that right, Billy?" He steps forward at the boy once more, voice rising when he receives no reply. "ISN'T THAT RIGHT?!"

To the best of his ability, Billy swallows the lump in his throat, his voice hoarse. "Yes, sir."

The man sighs heavily, inching closer, head turned. "I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you."

"Yes, sir."

Somewhat satisfied with Billy's response, his dark eyes return to Billy's, drilling holes with his threatening glare.

"Find Max." He orders.

Finally, he falls back, marching past his wife - who quickly steps out of his way - leaving a vulnerable and broken Billy behind. The door closes and only then does he let his tears fall in heavy streaks down his cheek. Expressing his emotions the only way he knows how, he chucks the nearest object - in this case, a cologne bottle - and it shatters at his feet. Another broken mess.

[●●●]

Max kicks yet another chunk of gravel in her path as she walks, trying as best as she can to keep up with Y/n's tale. How Max found herself in the middle of this confusing shitstorm, she would never know.

Steve, on the other hand, having known only half the story from the previous year, was gaining new information himself. About Eleven, Y/n, the experiments, everything. Just when he thought he knew everything about his hometown.

"You mean, he actually, like, yelled at you?" Lucas gaped. "Will?"

Y/n nods, eyes trained on the tracks below her feet. After a confusing roundup, the group found themselves walking the path the swarm had disappeared on. Having no choice but to answer their many questions, Y/n was recounting to them - without mentioning El or her trip to Chicago to the best of her ability - the events in the past 48 hours. It was proving a very difficult feat.

"'Get the hell out of my house', does not sound like Will. Like, at all."

"Exactly," Y/n insists. "I'm telling you, he's not himself."

"Clearly," scoffed Dustin.

"So I left. He didn't want me there, he made that clear enough."

"That still doesn't explain why you're dressed like that, or the fact that you came in, hands blazing, and fought off an army of Demogorgons,"

"It's complicated, alright?" She snapped defensively, rubbing a hand over her eyes. "I..."

The words died on her tongue, not even knowing what they were. She had no idea how or where to even begin. All she could do was choose her words carefully.

"I had to clear my head," she paused briefly when she saw the worried look in her brother's eyes, and sighed. "I had to get away, so...I did. Long story short-"

"Too late," Steve quipped.

"-I ran into some trouble. My clothes got trashed, so I got my hands on some spares, and I made my way home."

Satisfied with her careful recount of the events, she continued.

"And on my way, I-" she sighed once more. "Well, I figured out how to use my... powers."

The word still felt foreign on her tongue, still felt silly to say.

"Turns out, facing your shit helps."

"Wait, what does that mean exactly?" Max asked.

Y/n shrugged. "I was hurt, and angry, and confused. Apparently, that helps me control it."

An uneasy quiet falls over the group and she looks around to see her friends staring at her with intrigue. Even Steve stole a few glances at her hands, but she merely stuffed them in her oversized pockets.

"No," she scoffs, hiding a small smile. "You were all there at the junkyard, you already got a glimpse. Besides, I need to save my energy for those things."

Confusion flashes across her face and she looks between the four. "What about you guys? Why the hell are we fighting these things?"

Lucas looked past Y/n, gesturing to Dustin who had grown awfully quiet. "It's all thanks to Dustin, and his little 'pet'."

Y/n frowned. "You're sure that thing was Dart?"

"Yes," Dustin nods. "He had the exact same yellow pattern on his butt."

"He was tiny two days ago," Max pointed out.

"Well, he's molted three times already."

"Wait, m-malted?" Steve asks.

"Molted," Dustin corrects. "Shed his skin to make room for growth like hornworms."

"Well, when's he gonna molt again?" Max asks.

"It's gotta be soon. When he does, he'll be fully grown, or close to it. So will his friends."

Y/n grows more and more concerned by the moment. "Like, actual Demogorgan size?"

"Possibly."

"Yeah," Steve cuts in, scoffing. "and he's gonna eat a lot more than just cats."

Everyone halted immediately, Y/n's eyes grew wide and Lucas throws a hand out at Dustin.

"Wait, a cat?"

Dustin freezes, his eyes as wide as saucers they flick nervously in Y/n's direction and Lucas gives him a firm push.

"Dart ate a cat?"

Y/n steps forward, advancing slowly. "Dustin, what is he talking about?"

He scoffs nervously, shaking his head.

"No, what? No,"

"Dustin-"

"What are you talking about?" Steve asks, clearly confused. "He ate Mews."

"WHAT?"

Max looks feverishly between everyone, once more completely lost. "Mews? Who's Mews?"

"You let that thing eat our cat?!" Y/n shrieked, now stomping closer to her brother.

Max gapes, having gotten her answer.

"I knew it!" Exclaims Lucas, joining Y/n's side. "I knew it! You kept him!"

He jabs an angry finger in Dustin's chest

"No!" Dustin shot back, albeit a bit weakly. "No. No, I... No, I... He missed me. He wanted to come home."

"Bullshit!" Lucas spits.

Dustin sees at the pointed looks of his friends, more importantly, the hurt in his sister's eyes and it is hit with a wave of guilt.

"I- I didn't know he was a Demogorgan, okay?" He looks to Y/n, reaching out for her. "Y/n-,"

He only manages to graze her shoulder, and he notes she is hot to the touch, proof that her powers were bubbling to the surface. She flinches, shoving his hand away and he winces at her scalding hands.

"Don't touch me," she huffs, avoiding his gaze. "You knew! You knew this whole time, and you kept him! We talked about this, Dustin! As a group. We agreed he was from the upside down-"

"He was my responsibility-"

"and you kept him and it murdered out cat! And, to top it all off you sent mom on a wild goose chase-"

Steve groans, knowing the fight will only intensify.

But the siblings did not hear, the fight-turned-screaming match.

"Like you're one to talk, you went off on some idiot side quest playing dress-up while the rest of us-"

"Excuse me?!" She turned on him, her fist bunch up at her sides and several waves of heat radiated off them. "That's some sexist hunk of bullshit! While the rest of you what, Dustin-?"

She gestures wildly around her.

"Yeah, 'the rest of you' are cleaning up your mess-!"

"Guys," Max tried. "It doesn't matter. Who cares, let's just-"

"It does matter!" Lucas retorts. "It does! You put the party in jeopardy! You broke the rule of law!"

"So did you!" Dustin shot back, pointing his flashlight at Max, gesturing to her. "You told a stranger the truth!"

Max guffawed, now just as invested and just as furious. "Stranger?!"

By now, Steve contemplates whether or not to leave the herd of bickering children and continuing on the path, seeing if they'd follow or even notice. But something in the distance catches his ear.

"Real nice, Dustin. Don't try and blame anyone else-"

He creeps forward, flashlight in hand, and aimed into the darkness of the trees. All the while, the screaming match continuing uninterrupted behind him.

"You wanted to tell her too!"

"But I didn't, Lucas, okay?" Dustin shrieks. "I didn't tell her!"

Steve hears the sound once more, the sound of distant cries - the same cries he heard at the junkyard. The swarm was close.

"We both broke the rule of law, okay? So we're even we're even!"

"-No, no! We're not even. Don't even try that!"

"You're so not even Dustin!" Y/n fires back. "At least when he broke the rules, it didn't end with a dead cat!"

"Oh, you're never gonna let that go, are you?"

"Let it go? Let it go? I just found out!"

"Jesus, is that what really matters right now?" Max shouts.

The broken party was now at war with one another, no one individual member speaking at once. They all continue to shout at one another, besides Steve, who is now completely on edge, wary of their surroundings.

"Hey, guys?" Steve calls.

"You're dumb pet could have eaten us for dinner!"

"He wasn't gonna eat us!"

"Oh, so he was just coming to say hello?"

"GUYS!"

The children stop finally, looking up at Steve and his angered - and frightened expression. They have only seconds to question his worry until another screech echoes through the trees. Everyone pales, and Steve's spiked bat comes to rest over his shoulder as he marches off into the woods, the founding members of the party following. Leaving an exasperated new member behind; Max.

She is suddenly filled with dread, and she shakes her head along after them.

"No, no, no. Hey, guys, why are you headed towards the sound?" She asks, getting no answer. "Hello?"

She watches dumbstruck as they disappear over the small dirt hill, and into the trees.

"Hello?!"

She huffs, her head practically rolling off her shoulders and cursing herself for what she is about to do.

"Shit,"

She breaks out into a light jog, begrudgingly joining the rest of the group.

They follow the unending calls to the top of a hill, overlooking a small portion of Hawkins. Fog covers the lands, and the only other noise filling their ears are the croaks and ribbits of the marshy lands nearby.

"I don't see him," Dustin says, defeated.

A small click brings everyone's attention to Lucas as he takes out his binoculars, unfolding them. The lenses scan the town below until they stop on a darkened building Lucas recognizes all too well.

"It's the lab,"

His voice is grave, and it infects the others who all quickly dawn a similar, horrified expression.

"They were going back home."

+++

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A Beauty and the Chat

Summary: A young seamstress looking for adventure becomes part of a chaotic situation when her father is captured by a beast. Love and kindness give her courage and strength to free her father from captivity, only to lock herself in the castle with her hopes and dreams shattered into pieces.Friendships form, kindness blooms, a family reunited, and a rose waits for its final ending.Will she learn to love a beast? And will he learn to love again?

Ao3

Chapter 1

Once upon a time, in the hidden heart of France, a handsome young prince lived in a beautiful castle. Although he could have everything his heart desired, the prince did not have the one thing he wished he could afford – a love to call his own. His mother had died shortly after his thirteenth birthday, and to protect the only heir to the throne, his father selfishly held him behind the walls of the castle, far behind where the young prince could socialize with others. The love he wished to have from his only remaining family member never reached the light of day and the prince’s broken heart shattered into a million pieces.

As the prince grew older, his loneliness and despair only grew worse.  Once his father passed away after his 17th birthday, the prince fell deeper into the abyss, not wanting to leave the castle for fear that death may soon follow him too. No one was allowed in, and the staff on hand were the only ones who could leave on their own accord. The kind-hearted staff chose to stay to be with the boy, lest he shatter away the only glimmer of hope that may still linger in his heart.

Then one night, an unexpected intruder arrived at the castle, seeking shelter from the bitter storm. As a gift, she offered the prince a single rose. Feared by the connection to the outside world and the unwavering darkness that surrounded her, the prince turned the woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by unexpected kindness, for beauty is found within those unforeseen.

When he dismissed her again, the woman's darkened appearance melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress.

The prince begged for forgiveness, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love or kindness in his heart. As punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there.

As days bled into years, the prince and his servants were forgotten by the world. For the enchantress had erased all memory of them from the minds of the people they loved. But the rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose.

If he could learn to love another, and earn their love in return by the time the last petal fell, the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time.

As the years passed, he fell into an unshakable despair and lost all remaining hope that had entered his heart all those years ago. For who could ever learn to love a beast?

-----

Marinette sighed wearily as she wiped the dusting of flour from her brow. The last of the early morning baking was done, ready for her father to distribute to the villagers outside the bakery doors. Slowly, she tidied up the workspace before she walked towards the stairs leading to her home. She made her way back into her room and promptly changed into a garment that would prove comforting while out in the warm June afternoon.  

She fluffed the light petticoat before placing a blush-colored skirt over it. A white wrist-length blouse was buttoned up to her neck with the tail tucked into the skirt. She slipped on a pair of ballet slippers and tied a white apron around her waist in a pretty bow to finish the outfit. She looked at herself in the mirror, swiping off any remaining evidence from her morning work in the bakery, and tied her hair back into a low pony with a thick red ribbon. Giving herself one last look in the mirror, she breathed a sigh in contentment before turning on her heel to finish her morning duties.

Marinette was radiant and lovely, or as her father always told her, she was downright beautiful. She was a petite young lady, filling nicely into her pretty features at the tender age of 16. Bluebell eyes were full of passion and wonderment, while the raven-stark hair and pink puckered lips accentuated her fair skin. Her calloused fingers were ones of a seamstress who pricked her fingers one too many times, while her strength was of a baker’s daughter who could lift a large bag of flour without succumbing to the weight.  

With the bit of her chores completed for the morning, Marinette made her way to the village of Conques to collect a few items for a dress she was in process of creating. As she moved across the common, she greeted the many shop keepers standing in the market as they called out to the villagers who had come out looking to replenish their bare cupboards. She could see florists calling out for men to bring a bushel home to their wives. A farmer calling out that he had plenty of goat’s milk and fresh laid eggs to spare. Down the way was a man with his horse and cart waiting for men that needed a barber to trim their beards. A shoe-shiner and his stand sat idly in front of the hat shop that had been popular with the ladies. Beside them was the little brick shop that held the many samples of fabric from the various countries their counterparts had traveled to.

Marinette hummed quietly to herself as she held the small wooden basket tightly in her hand dreaming of all of the possibilities she could only hope to have one day. She dreamed of a day where she would be able to design and create garments freely for other women to enjoy. With her mama gone, her father needed as much help as he could get in the bakery. It was the best in the village, and while she was biased, her father’s hard work was proven worthy as the villagers could not wait to buy fresh bread and pastries each morning.

She reached her destination with a smile. “Bonjour, Madam Chamack.”

“Bonjour, Mademoiselle Marinette. Creating a new design already?”

“You know once a design crosses my mind, I have to make it come to life,” she let out a breathy laugh.  

“As I do know.” Mdm. Chamack mirrored Marinette’s laughter. “Do you need assistance or should I let you wander to your heart’s content?”

“I will come find you if my decision needs assistance.”

Marinette walked towards the many bolts of fabric waiting to be used. Beautiful bright colors and soft fabrics made her smile as she brushed her hand softly against the array of choices. None of those stood out for the design in mind, though. She continued to hum the song her mother would sing to her during her restless nights, giving her solace as she thought over the many choices. As if the world shifted into position, a pale blue fabric had come into view. Marinette sashayed her way over to the fabric to inspect it further. It was the pale blue color that her mother adored, and it had white flowers embroidered to the edge of the bolt. The softness and color were exactly what she had in mind, and the flowers only added to the uniqueness and favorability.

The young lady purchased her cut and said her goodbyes, venturing through the common back towards her home. She walked in a comfortable silence, greeting the fellow villagers as she basked in the warm sun. Her mind was already thinking of new possible ideas for aprons and she took the opportunity to sit at the fountain steps to sketch out some designs.

Marinette enjoyed moments like these. Her father understood Marinette’s passion in design and allowed her freedom to do as she wished. It was all he wanted for her until things had been difficult a few years back. But he never did waver from her desires. He only asked that she help at home before turning her attention elsewhere.

Some of her favorite areas to think and draw are the ones that were bustling with people. She enjoyed seeing the garments that the women wore in the village, some of which inspired her to create better pieces, items that could be useful in the home. One time, she noticed a woman using her apron as a basket, holding her eggs so they wouldn’t fall from her hands. It inspired her to design an apron with almost 20 slots, each slot large enough to hold one egg each. A few of the woman loved the idea so much that they commissioned an apron from her.

Humming her mother’s tune as she sketched, she didn’t notice the tall blond and his brunette friend watching her from the edge of the common.

---

“You know, Lila, she is the most beautiful girl in the village. No other can compare to her.” The tall muscular blond said as he watched her keenly.  

“You’re right. She’s simply the best.” Lila said with an eyeroll. “So, what are you going to do about it?”

“I’ve told you. I swear I wonder if you have anything working up there in your mind.” Felix glanced at his companion then sighed. “But she is simply the best. I’m going to ask her to marry me. I deserve the best to be by my side.”

Felix made his way towards the flower cart and grabbed a bushel of flowers. “I’m going to woo Marinette and then find her Father and ask for his blessing. It won’t be hard to find the old man. Best baker in town, you know! But I need to woo her first.” Felix said as he straightened his overcoat. “That girl has avoided me one too many times.”

Lila crossed her arms and watched her partner in action. She chose to stay near the cart, watching another failed attempt of Felix trying to impress the blue-eyed beauty.  

---

Marinette finished another line of her newest design when a lingering shadow crossed over her sketchpad. Looking up, Marinette noticed the specific features that she had come to learn over the last few months. Pausing her work, she placed the pencil on her book and looked up to see the blond standing confidently in front of her.

“Felix.” She said with sugar-covered annoyance. “Lovely seeing you here.”

“Not as lovely as you are, my dear Marinette.” Felix bowed and offered her the flowers. Marinette grabbed the bushel hesitantly and made her way to stand.  

“Thank you, Felix. You really didn’t have to-”

“But I do!” Felix cut in sharply. “Marinette, you are an absolute delight. Anyone would love to have you alongside them.”

Marinette gave him a lopsided smile, one that was disgusted at the words but still trying to show gratitude in the action, no matter how much it pained her to do so. “Is that so? Luckily, I have my father for that.” She smiled to him sweetly.

Felix’s bright smile dropped to a confused glare. His voice, whether it was purposeful or not, was laced with threatening sincerity. “Marinette. You shouldn’t waste time waiting for things. That includes a suitor. The last thing you want to become is a spinster in this village. People are none to kind.”

Marinette looked cautiously at Felix before looking back down to the flowers in her hand. This was not how her life would be. She knew that there was so much more out there to the world and being stranded in this quiet village seemed suffocating at times. But being with Felix? Felix, the boorish man who believed that she should be another trophy for his home? That was the last thing she wanted.

“Thank you, Felix,” she said as she handed back the bouquet, “but I have plenty of flowers in my garden and adventures in my heart that need to be lived. I must go. I know my father needs me.”

Marinette gathered her things and made a quick trot towards the bakery. Felix, stood frozen in his position and stunned at the swift interaction, watched as the blue-eyed beauty walked away. Anger started to fester in his chest.

Lila sauntered towards her friend and placed a hand on his shoulder. “And that makes rejection number 52. Ready to give up lover boy?”

“Lila,” Felix seethed as he tossed the flowers to the ground, “she will be mine. I will make sure of it.”

-----

Marinette made it to the doors of the bakery where she caught a glimpse of a large burly man with his tray of fresh breads. Marinette smiled as she reached her father, placing a quick peck to his cheek.

“Bonjour, papa.”  

“Bonjour, mon cherie. Thank you for cleaning the kitchen and completing your morning chores.”

Marinette smiled, “Of course papa. Maman taught me well.”

Sabine was a petite woman with fierceness in her belly. She took care of the family well, serving her husband and daughter with all the love and care in the world. She helped her husband in the bakery while also making time to teach Marinette how to sew. Her laugh was contagious and her passions were ever present around them. She fell ill and passed a few years ago and her lack of presence left a hole in their lives. But they trudged forward in memory of her.  

“Papa?” Marinette questioned as she picked up the last baguette on the tray and placed it on a full one. “Do you believe there is so much more out there than what our village offers?”  

Tom looked sadly at his daughter, taking in the hidden meaning behind her words. “Of course there is. The adventure is out there. You have to listen to your heart and follow it.”

Marinette looked to the tray and added a few more rolls to it. “Felix believes that I'm waiting for nothing. He implied that marrying him would be better than what my heart wants.”

“What is it that you want?”

Marinette looked to her father for a moment and then out the large window that showcased the rolling hills on the outskirts of the village. A cool breeze entered the bakery, bringing in a coolness in the otherwise warm space. She closed her eyes, allowing the air to circulate around her, filling her lungs with encouragement and strength as she listened to her heart. “A life beyond the walls of this village.” She turned back to her father. “I want to live a life where I can be at peace with myself and be loved for my kindness and warm heart. I want to face adventures with someone willing to take me along. I want to spend my days looking forward to tomorrow. I want to feel free.”

Tom walked to her and engulfed her in a hug. “You will have all that,” he assured her. “Life is an adventure all in itself. Follow your heart and it will bring you to the life you were destined to live.”

“Thanks, papa. You mean the world to me.” She pulled back and smiled. “Now let’s get your cart ready for tomorrow. You have a long night of traveling if you want to make it to Grande-Vabre by morning.”

He smiled brightly back to her. “Then let’s not waste any time.”

Characters:

Belle - Marinette Maurice (Belle's Father) - Tom Gaston - Felix LeFou - Lila Prince (Adam) - Adrien

[pumpkinpatchdrabbles]

Missing You - Part Three - James “Bucky” Barnes/Reader

Part One | Part Two | Part Four | Part Five

He knew. The moment he looked into their eyes, Bucky knew something was wrong. Not because of the way they pulled back that first time, but in the visit that followed, not once had they said his name. And now finds himself here, one of a small handful called to the compound's conference room. A scant twelve hours after his entire world fell to pieces after four. simple. words.

"I’m sorry. I...don’t."

Retrograde amnesia. He repeats those words. Once, to make certain he heard the doctor right. Then for a second time, because there was no way this could be happening for real. But the more he thought about it, the more it all made sense. The wide-eyed stare of confusion, the hesitation for contact, everything. Uncomfortable, he shifts in his chair, a heavy knot of anxious nerves coiling tight in the pit of his stomach.

Tony is the first to break free from the shock. His favorite pair of designer sunglasses tossed onto the table in frustration. He leaned back in his seat, eyes closed and furrowed brow as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “You’re sure about this, doc? One-hundred percent?”

“Positive,” Dr. Belo nods, turning to the flat screen monitors mounted on the wall behind her. In the hours that followed she flitted about the compound busy as a bee. Ordering everything from blood tests to an MRI scan. The results of which she put on display for all to see. “As for how long it’ll last? I can’t say. Some patients recover in a few days, others take years. There is also a possibility that those memories could never come back.”

Natasha sits to Bucky's right, stoic expression, posture straight. She is the calmest out of everyone in the room following the doctor's blunt statement. Unwavering. Yet from here, he can see it. The subtle tremble in her fingers, reflective of the same fear lodge deep within his own chest.

At the end of the conference table, positioned opposite of the good doctor, Steve shifts forward. Where the others had questioned, seeking answers to their how's and why's, he chose to listen. Piecing together every bit of information she had to give. “Is there anything we can do for them? Anything that might improve their chance of recovery?”

“Aside from prescribed medications and therapy?” Remote in one hand, tablet in the other, Dr. Belo shuts off the wall of monitors behind her with the push of a button. Attention focused on the man seated across of her, she replies, "Talk to them. Reminding them of things they may have forgotten should help to 'jog' things along."

While Steve thinks over the best course of action to follow her advice, Tony resumes the lead. Rising to his feet, he approaches the doctor when she starts to make her way to the door. One hand hovering at her back as a guide, the other pushing the heavy glass door open. "Thanks for your time, doc. We'll call you if anything happens. Pepper has your number?"

"Of course. She'll know how to reach me." Tablet tucked safe under her arm, Dr. Belo takes a half-step out of the room but hesitates. She turns, gaze sympathetic toward those still seated around the table. "I know it won't be easy for any of you at first, but please. Try to have some patience with them."

She doesn't think to receive any sort of reply. Not after the troubling forty-five minutes spent together, but they do. A faint 'thank you' here, a 'goodbye' and 'take care' there. Only one member with brunette hair and a prosthetic arm chose to remain silent, too lost in his own thoughts.

Nothing more left to say, Dr. Belo bids the group one last farewell, then continues on her way out.

It isn't until the door slides back in to place that Tony returns to his seat. Days worth of fatigue catching up to him in that moment, and expressing itself in a long, weary sigh. “We never should have gotten them involved.”

“You know how stubborn they can be sometimes." From his side of the room, Steve chimes in, mouth curved down into a rather prominent frown. It had been there since the moment he entered the room and saw those charts on display. He might not have understood them, but deep down he knew whatever they had to prove couldn't be good.

And he was right.

"They never would have listened." Throwing in her own two cents to the conversation was Natasha. Gaze fixated on the intricate wood-grain pattern of the conference table. After several pregnant seconds of silence she looks away, eyeing first Tony, then Steve. "They would have fought us tooth and nail if we told them to stay behind."

"I blame you for that particular trait of theirs, by the way." An accusatory finger pointed in her direction, Tony eyes the fiery redhead. It had taken her only days to win over Stark Industries newest intern. Two years later and to his utter dismay, they were near inseparable.

A touch of playful banter ensues, a momentary distraction for both Natasha and Tony of a better time. The weary billionaire lamenting how one of his brightest had turned due to 'bad influence'. At some point Clint joins in, jumping to his partner-in-crime's defense. Reminding the now pouting business man that their becoming a field agent had always been a given.

It was a losing battle, two against one. And for a time, Steve seems content to watch the exchange happen. That is until his attention falls upon his still silent best friend. No matter how hard they kicked themselves mentally for what happened, no one took it quite as hard as Bucky. From the moment they landed in the Quinjet, not once had he left their side. He had been there through the surgeries and days of unchanging sleep. He was there when they woke up, and was the first to realize something wasn't right.

He notes the way the brunette's jaw tenses, swears he can hear the faint grinding of teeth. His concern doubling as the intricate gears of the shiny prosthetic arm whir. That hand gripping so tight at the armrest of his chair, the leather and wood in his palm begin to strain.

Without thinking Steve shifts closer, lips parted to call out to Bucky--

--when the sharp trill of a text message alert shatters the moment. The room falls into a still silence, all eyes turning toward the source.

Phone already in hand, Tony reads over the message. Expression serious, he slips the device away before looking once around the room. “That was the missus, asking for an update. Anyone care to come with to help break the news?”

“You’re on your own, bud.” Meeting drawing to a close, Clint rises from his seat and turns for the door. He pauses on the way, patting Tony once on his shoulder for encouragement. Behind him, Natasha follows suit, nodding once in silent parting.

"Cap?" Turning away from the leaving duo, he sets a hopeful gaze on the still seated Captain. A firm shake of the head is all it takes to dash any prospect for company, so he too pushes up from his chair with a sigh. Maybe F.R.I.D.A.Y. could help break the news to a no doubt anxious Pepper Pots...

The departures of the others unnoticed, Bucky spends some time in contemplative silence. Should he head up to see them? Would that even be a good idea? They already admitted to not knowing him, he didn't want to make things awkward. But then Dr. Belo did say talking to them should help.

By the time he decides that yes, he will go see them one more time, the gentle hand gripping his upper arm stops him.

Steve.

“Buck. You okay?”

He doesn’t answer at first, doesn’t even look at his friend holding him in place. A part of him wants to lie, to spare the man reason for concern. But he knows Steve. He knows that he'll never let go when every fiber of his being screams that no, he is not okay. So after a few tense seconds, he surrenders.

“It’s my fault,” what little bit of courage he managed to build leaves in an instance. Consumed with guilt anew Bucky drops back into his seat, shoulders slumped, head down. "I did this to them, Stevie."

“Come on Buck, we’ve been through this.” The only two left in the conference room, Steve moves to close the gap between them. Worry etched plan as day on his chiseled features. “What happened out there wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t anyone’s fault.”

“But it was. If I hadn’t been so distracted I could’ve...I could've...” He trails off, pulled back to that terrible day. Smoked filled the air, the remains of what had once been a Hydra lab all around him. Their assault had been precise, well-executed. The agents subdued and awaiting processing. Except for one; a lone gunman that had somehow managed to slip past them. He couldn't let them go, not after all they had done. But if he hadn’t been so hellbent on stopping him, if he had only heard that shout of warning in time, then--

“Buck? Bucky?”

He blinks. Once. Twice. As much as it takes to clear the cobwebs from his mind. He refocuses, locking onto a desperate gaze of deep blue and a longtime friend clutching at his arm.

A sigh slips past Bucky's lips, his body leaning back into his chair. He doesn't say anything for a long time. Only sits there, rubbing his face with his good hand as he thinks. The knowledge that someone so close to him had gotten hurt because of his own mistake eating away at him. “What if they never remember me, Stevie. What am I supposed to do?”

Hand moving from the upper arm to his shoulder, Steve gives it a light squeeze in reassurance. “We’ll figure this out, buddy. Don't worry.”

[eleanor-writes-stuff]

like my heart longs for an ocean [one-shot]

Within minutes of meeting, Rey Niima and Kylo Ren immediately confront each other for having the audacity to be biologically compatible. 

Within weeks, they start exploring that compatibility.

Within months, it turns into something more.

This is the story of them getting their shit together, one step at a time.

Yeah, I did it: I wrote an ABO fic. This is rated M for mild, awkward, embarrassing attempts at smut interspersed with flashbacks to our favorite idiots trying to fight destiny and biology. If you need me, I’ll be in a corner drinking to forget the fact that I decided to share this with the world for some reason.

New content alert, @orkindofamazing @senauma. (If anyone else would like to be tagged whenever I post content, let me know!)

Also available on AO3. (I’m hi_raeth there, in case the link doesn’t work. Thanks, Tumblr.)

The arm tucked under her pillow has gone numb.

Rey lifts her head, stretches out her arm and wiggles her fingers until the unpleasant pins and needles sensation fades. Next time, she thinks, she’ll sprawl out on top of him; it’ll probably be much more comfortable that way. Next time, she thinks, and promptly stops herself.

There can be no next time.

To keep herself grounded in the present she presses closer to him, sighs in contentment as Ben’s arm curls tighter around her in return so that his chest is flush against her back. Liquid heat floods her as he hooks one leg over hers and inadvertently pushes deeper into her, prompting him to muffle a groan against her neck.

“Again?” Rey asks incredulously as more cum trickles down her thigh to join the damp spot pooling underneath them. Ben closes his lips around the tender gland on her neck in response, sucks on it as he does his best to thrust into her with what limited mobility he has. The slow drag of his knot against her sensitive walls draws a low moan out of her as her muscles flutter around him, an instinctive reaction to keep him inside her.

Obviously her body hasn’t gotten the memo, because they’ve been tangled together for a good while now and Rey wants nothing more than for this to be over with so that she can throw his clothes at him, kick him out of her apartment, and pretend that this never happened when they see each other at work tomorrow. Because as great as this has been, as earth-shattering as they are together…

“How long has it been?” she sighs, bats Ben’s hand away when he goes to rub at her clit. That’s how he got her to agree to a second round hours ago – riling her up while they waited for his knot to go down, leaving her wanting as he made himself at home in her kitchen, keeping her on edge as he urged her to refuel. But that was before the sun went down, before she realized how easy it would be to let him stay the night so that they can fall into an endless pattern. 

Ben huffs into her neck, his warm breath ghosting against her gland, and the part of her that only comes to life around him urges her to take his hand, to guide him back to where he wants to be, to make up for upsetting her Alpha. This is exactly why there can be no third round, no next time.

“Longer than ever before,” he admits, presses his palm into her abdomen with enough pressure to make the both of them twitch. God, he’s right there, his hand over the head of his cock with only her stomach between the two, and with heat crawling up her spine and flooding her cheeks she remembers fawning over the fit of him, keening and sobbing and babbling Alpha so big so good oh god I can see you inside me–

He sighs, lips brushing against her temple as he brings up the forbidden topic. “You know what this means, Rey–”

“Don’t,” she warns and pleads in the same breath, inches as far away from him as possible so that she doesn’t have to feel his racing heart against her back. The fact that his body refuses to let go of hers doesn’t have to mean anything. None of it does.

“Just…” Rey closes her eyes, takes a deep breath. She’s upsetting him, hurting him, and her stupid Omega hormones aren’t the only ones unhappy with the notion. As much as she hates him sometimes, she doesn’t actually want to hurt the man who makes her heart race, makes her blood sing, makes her want to give it all up for even the slightest possibility–

But she’s come too far for that, worked too hard to risk it. “Just don’t,” she whispers, and of course that’s the exact moment their bodies decide to finally, finally let go.

“Okay,” Ben murmurs, presses one final kiss to her temple before he wordlessly gets out of bed. Her room feels unusually cold without his warmth curled around her, and when the door clicks shut behind him two minutes later, Rey tells herself the odd feeling in her chest is her lungs shaking, not her heart sinking.

The first time Rey meets Ben Solo, she immediately excuses herself to the bathroom to splash a gallon of cold water on her face and waste a shit ton of tissue dabbing at her inexplicably drenched underwear.

She’s been antsy all morning, just the slightest bit off and on edge and oversensitive, and everything falls into place when Leia emerges from her office with a tall, brooding hulk of an Alpha by her side and introduces the team to their newest addition. Rey is forced to just sit there, pressing her legs together and praying no one can smell her, while Leia and the inconsiderate asshole move ever closer to her cubicle as introductions are made. She jumps out of her seat the minute Leia turns to her, greets her boss and exchanges brief pleasantries with the newbie even as his scent floods her senses, and then promptly announces that she needs to pee before she scurries away.

A ton of cold water and a roll of toilet paper later, Rey emerges from the bathroom with a wince on her face as she relives her awkwardness on a mental loop. Thankfully, she’s quickly snapped out of it by a new distraction. Unfortunately, that new distraction proves to be–

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Ben Solo hisses, nostrils flaring as he crowds into her personal space and forces her to back up until she hits the wall.

“Me?” Rey demands incredulously, shoves at him with both her hands and makes the executive decision to ignore the fact that she can feel herself literally dripping after less than two seconds of physical contact. “What the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of arrogant, selfish Alpha asshole walks around without taking blockers–”

Ben crosses his arms – massive – over his chest – broad – and glares at her. “Very funny. I’m not the one out in public without suppressants, Omega.”

She hates, hates, hates being referred to by her designation, has even gained a reputation for pulling some pretty violent stunts whenever someone dares to reduce her identity to a genetic label. But the utter ridiculousness of his accusation coupled with the low growl in his voice sends Rey reeling, and without a moment’s thought she’s ripping her blouse free from her skirt and holding it up to show him the silvery scar at her hip. “Implant, you fucker. Just because you’re not taking the appropriate precautions–”

“I am,” Ben whispers, sounding miles away as his wide eyes hone in on her implant mark, the one that proves she’s on the strongest suppressants available. It feels like a small eternity before he finally tears his attention away from her bare skin to look up at her again. “I am,” he repeats slowly. “On blockers. Three times a day.”

Oh.

Oh.

Rey knows she’s probably staring and gaping at him like a fool, but wiping the dumb goldfish expression off her face becomes the least of her concerns as his admission rings in her ears and bounces around her skull and settles into her veins.

“But we still…” she gestures vaguely between them, thinks of the slick gathering between her thighs and the way he’s breathing through his mouth as if that’s any better, as if he can’t taste her in the air, as if they aren’t going crazy for each other even with the strongest possible suppressant and a triple dosage of blockers between them. “We can still…”

Ben squeezes his eyes shut, takes a step away from her. “Yeah,” he says on a shaky exhale.

She presses her back to the wall, tries to make herself as small as possible. “That’s… that’s not normal.”

He laughs. It’s curt and bitter and barely even counts, but god does it make her toes curl. “You don’t say, sweetheart.”

And that, oh that seals her fate even as Ben backs away from her, puts enough distance between them that she couldn’t reach for him even if she wanted to. “We should stay away from each other,” he suggests, his voice firm and resolute even as his eyes plead for her to say otherwise.

“Good idea,” Rey forces herself to agree in a breathless voice that sounds nothing like her own.

“Right,” Ben nods, moves away from her a little bit more. “Okay, good,” he mumbles, and promptly turns on his heel to get the fuck away.

Even as a long-dormant part of Rey’s body cries out at his departure, a bigger part of her knows that he won’t be able to stay away for long.

There’s a next time, and a time after that, and a time after that.

The fourth time Ben rolls away from her to get dressed and leave, Rey surprises the both of them by jumping out of bed to wrap her arms around him from behind. Ben stills, his shirt clutched in one hand, and she presses her lips to his spine in a request she’s not ready to voice.

He hears it anyway, drops his shirt and comes back to bed for the rest of the night, and when she wakes up in his arms the next morning Rey finds she’s a little less scared of this thing between them now.

After the tenth time they start leaving things at each other’s places, and on nights when she’s denied herself his company she sneaks a shirt out of the drawer she’s started thinking of as his and goes to sleep drowning in his scent.

The twenty-seventh time marks three months together, as well as the last time Rey allows herself to keep count. A good thing, probably, because after that they spend more time together than apart, and while Ben will never stop being an overwhelming, all-eclipsing, larger-than-life presence, she starts getting used to him, starts learning how to look past the eclipse to see that everything else still exists. The fact that everything else does still exist, that being with him doesn’t automatically cancel out a lifetime without him, allows her to put the last of her lingering fear to rest.

Seven months after she first showed him her implant scar, Rey sighs and presses closer to Ben as his thumb traces circles over the silvery mark. It’s the Alpha in him tugging his lips into a frown against her shoulder, she knows, but still–

“I’m supposed to replace it next month,” she murmurs unthinkingly, warm and content and sore in all the best ways.

Ben’s thumb stills, and moments later is replaced by his hand curling around her hip, fingers applying the slightest bit of pressure to dig into her skin. Rey thinks she can hear an audible gulp as he considers her words, and she closes her eyes to resist the temptation of turning around to gauge his reaction.

“Are you going to?” he asks an eternity later, voice hushed as the pad of his thumb starts moving over her scar again.

Rey shrugs; it’s easier to feign nonchalance when she doesn’t have to look him in the eye. “I don’t know,” she says casually. “They don’t advise getting the implant more than three times, and this is already my second. Something about causing permanent damage if I don’t let my body go through heat, I think.”

Again a hand gripping her hip, almost urgently. “When was the last time you… I mean, do you usually… you know, with someone?” he trails off weakly, the crux of the matter hidden in a barely-audible whisper.

Rey shrugs off his arm, finally turns around and props herself up with an elbow sinking into the mattress. Ben can barely meet her eye, and what little moonlight there is illuminates the barest hint of a flush on his cheeks. She doesn’t blame him for asking, though. People who don’t believe in more, who aren’t interested in more – people like the person she was when they first met – are known to enter long-term arrangements for the sake of convenience. Some arrangements become more, some don’t, but nearly all of them turn personal and meaningful in their own way after a period of time.

At some point between their second and third time, Rey had actually considered asking Ben if he’d be willing to enter such an arrangement with her. Now, she brings her free hand up to his jaw and gently guides his eyes to her.

“Never,” she admits quietly. “I’ve never…” wanted to, with anyone else. Mated Omegas tell her there’s nothing like it, that you don’t truly understand your Alpha’s love for you until they’ve seen you through heat and cared for your every need. Forums for unmated Omegas tell her that it’s transcendent, that nothing else will ever come close. But that kind of vulnerability, that kind of trust… there’s a reason she’s never, ever allowed herself to have a heat since her first one ten years ago, when she presented at the very late age of seventeen.

And yet – “I didn’t have anyone, before,” Rey whispers, puts it out there and immediately hides her face in Ben’s neck under the pretense of nuzzling his gland.

A low, content sound rumbles from deep within his chest, and he cards one hand through her hair until she pulls away from his sensitive skin. Ben gently rolls them over so that he’s looming over her, so that she’s pinned underneath him with nowhere to go.

Rey minds it a lot less than she should, than she would’ve even six months ago.

“Sweetheart,” he murmurs, and god, the tenderness in his eyes, his voice, his touch – how did she ever think they’d be able to stop after just once? “Are you saying…?”

She loves the way Ben holds her face like the most precious thing in the world cupped in that massive hand of his, but right now it means Rey has to look him in the eye and tell him yes, yes she’s saying she wants him to fuck and feed her through her heat, she wants and trusts him to care for her when she can’t. “I mean,” she licks her dry lips, darts her gaze down to his throat. “You don’t have to–”

Ben laughs, a low huff of amusement that draws her eyes back to him. “Of course I have to, Rey,” he tells her with a smile, shaking his head at her fondly. “It’s an Alpha’s responsibility to care for his ma–”

He catches himself just in time, stares at her with wide, terrified eyes until Rey surges up to kiss his fear away. Some words can never be taken back, and they both know exactly what he was about to say, what he was about to imply. And yet…

Of course Rey isn’t ready, probably won’t be for a good long while yet, but it’s nice to know that it – that he – will be waiting for her when she is. For now, though–

“I’ll get it taken out, then,” she whispers against Ben’s lips, wraps her legs around him as one hand reaches down to guide him into her. “The implant, I mean.”

“Just let me know when,” he says, and it’s the last coherent sentence between them for a while.

It takes two weeks for their luck to run out.

Leia calls a floor-wide meeting, and all twenty-three of them squeeze into Conference Room 2, which is standing room only by the time Ben arrives. Of course Rey, one of the lucky few who’d arrived early enough to snag a seat, is sitting just five feet away from the door. And of course Ben chooses to just close the door behind him and lean against it instead of venturing further into the crowded room.

For the life of her, Rey cannot figure out what the meeting is about. Leia stands on the opposite end of the room, going through slides that Poe dutifully changes for her, but even the big, bold headers on the screen seem to blur together as Rey does her best to hold in the last lungful of clean air she’d gotten right before Ben appeared.

Her throat closes up, her lungs burn, her eyes water – and finally, finally, Rey is forced to inhale.

The effect is instantaneous and devastating, heaven and hell rolled into one as her blood heats up and her skin itches and her toes curl and her stomach cramps. If she were a braver woman, if she were a dumber woman, she might risk a glance at Ben to see how he’s faring, to check if he’s noticed her reaction to his scent. Instead, Rey nods along as she squints at the screen and discreetly presses her thighs together as tightly as she can.

If this keeps up, she might need to start keeping a change of underwear at work.

Mercifully, the meeting is short and to the point as it always is with Leia. She turns her back to the screen, Poe clicks out of the slideshow, and chairs start scraping against the floor as everyone prepares to get back to work.

“One last thing,” Leia says before the first brave soul can ask Ben to stand aside and stop blocking the only exit from this packed room. Oddly enough, he tenses at the sound of Leia’s voice, the only noticeable bit of body language she’s noticed since he walked into the room.

“I’m sure by now you’ve all met our newest addition, my son Ben Solo.”

A round of hushed murmurs sweeps across the room, the cat finally out of the bag for the scant few who hadn’t thought to make the connection between Leia’s husband and the newcomer. Out of the corner of her eye Rey catches Ben crossing his arms over his chest and drawing himself up to his full height, almost as if he’s daring anyone in this room to comment on his parentage.

None of this comes as news to Rey, of course – Finn had informed her of their new addition’s connection to the big boss before she’d even known there was to be a new addition – but for just a second the unexpected reminder slams into her hard enough to take her mind off her current situation. Instead a bolt of horror shoots up her spine at the belated realization that she’s lusting after her boss’s son, and Rey thinks that’s almost as bad as the biological compatibility thing and all that it hints at.

“I’m very happy to finally have Ben with us after all these years of using my motherly guilt-tripping skills against him,” Leia jokes with a raspy laugh, but the joyful twinkle in her eyes is clear for anyone to see as she gives her son a soft, fond smile.

Ben ducks his head almost shyly, a small smile playing on his lips, and Rey’s heart jolts as if someone’s fashioned endearment into a blade and plunged it into her chest. A fresh wave of slick quickly ruins the moment, and she can barely hear Leia’s next words over the faint, panicky ringing in her ears.

“–looks like I brought him aboard to do my dirty work, and I completely understand why some of you feel this way. Unfortunately, the truth is that we’re just long overdue for some serious downsizing, and this would have happened with or without Ben around.”

Panic of an entirely different breed settles into her bones as Rey finally makes sense of Leia’s words and the sudden tension that’s settled over the room. Realistically she knows she’s probably safe – she was promoted just last month and easily does the work of three regular employees – but the part of her that’s never found a home that wasn’t taken from her in some painful way freaks out anyway.

There are times when the light in Leia’s eyes makes her look twenty years younger, and then there are times when her shoulders slump under the weight of the world and she looks ten years older than she really is; this is the latter. “I wish you all the best these next two weeks,” Leia sighs before she plasters on a sincere smile. “And please know that whatever comes next is in no way reflective of your worth as an employee or a person, because I can honestly say that all of you are so, so appreciated here and if it were up to me, I wouldn’t let a single one of you go.”

A faint aww fills the room amidst a smattering of polite claps, and just seconds later Leia ends the meeting with a strained smile and a dismissive wave of her hand. Ben is the first one out, wrenching the door open with such force that it slams into the wall as he leaves. Rey gives him a short head start, counts to ten in her head before she joins the small crowd filing out of the room and shoulders her way past the bottleneck forming at the door. In her haste to get to the nearest bathroom, though, she fails to notice that she’s moving fast enough to catch up to him, and an accidental shove from a colleague who’s in as much of a rush as the rest of them sends her crashing into the one person in this building she really, really can’t afford to touch.

Ben’s hands instinctively wrap around her shoulders to steady her, and even through the fabric of her sleeves his touch burns. She stumbles backwards as a pained hiss escapes her, her inner muscles desperately contracting around thin air, and he emits a matching sharp inhale as his hands drop back down to his sides and his breathing grows heavy.

“Sorry, didn’t see you–”

“This is getting ridiculous,” Ben snarls, more to himself than her, and quickly looks left and right before he practically sprints to the nearest door and opens it. “We need to talk,” he declares, and disappears into the darkened meeting room without waiting for her reply.

Rey does a quick sweep of the hallway – it’s somehow emptied out in the last few seconds, everyone in a rush to get back to work or head out for lunch – and throws caution to the wind. He’s right, after all: this is getting ridiculous, and maybe talking about it will bring them closer to the elusive solution.

There’s always the obvious solution, but as far as Rey’s concerned, that’s not an option – not even as her insides retaliate for the aching emptiness with a vicious cramp.

She closes the door behind her, reaches out to turn on the lights while Ben paces the length of the room with a table between them.

“Look, clearly we can’t work together–” he starts, and the heat his presence fills her with quickly turns to ice. Between Leia’s announcement just minutes ago and the stories Finn’s told her about Ben, about his previous life working for the First Order where he couldn’t play nice with anyone and easily got rid of everyone who displeased him in any way, Rey’s brain is quick to jump to the worst case scenario.

“No,” she snaps, stomps up to the table and slams her palms down on the glass. “I don’t care that this physically hurts me, I don’t care if you can’t get any work done with me around – you are not firing me for this stupid thing I didn’t even ask for, it’s not my fault and there has to be some kind of law protecting me against this, so don’t even think–”

“Rey,” he says quietly, and her rant dies a sudden, undignified death as a whimper fights its way past her lips. It’s the first time he’s ever said her name, and suddenly she wants to collapse against the table and press her whole body to the cool surface of the glass because she’s dying, her blood is boiling in an entirely new way and this is hell, this is the literal ninth circle of hell–

“I’m not firing you,” Ben assures her through gritted teeth, and she fights her way through the haze clouding her mind to realize that he’s stopped pacing and his fingers are now curled so tightly around the table that his knuckles have gone white. Rey swears she can see tiny hairline fractures racing across the surface of the tempered glass from where he’s gripping the table. “Why would you think–?”

She’s flustered and turned on and still a bit uncertain, a bit scared, and oh this is a bad combination because for some godforsaken reason Rey hears herself saying coldly, “Well, it’s what you would have done back in First Order, isn’t it?”

Ben’s eyes narrow as he leans over the table, subconsciously moving towards her. “What do you know about First Order?” he demands in a low voice that signals danger in more than one way.

“Enough,” Rey shrugs, feigns disinterest as she casually moves away from the table, backs up incrementally until she's pressed against the door, as close to the exit as possible.

“You know nothing,” Ben rebuts forcefully, almost defensively, and Rey watches him straighten up and stalk around the table with equal measures of dread and heat pooling low in her belly. He comes to a stop right where she was just a minute ago, leans against the table and crosses his arms, stares at her with a clear challenge flashing in his eyes.

So naturally Rey does the stupidest thing possible and falls for it. “I know all about Kylo Ren,” she spits, all thoughts of a swift exit quickly abandoned. “I know how selfish you were, how you’d get people fired for the smallest, stupidest things, like a petty, spiteful child who–”

In the blink of an eye Ben closes the distance between them, cages her in with both hands on either side of her head. “Could a child do this to you, sweetheart?” he whispers, and everything moves in slow-motion as he brings one shaking hand up to brush her hair back from her neck and ghost a fingertip over her inflamed, desperate skin. “Could a child make you fall apart in my arms with just…” he leans in and Rey wants him closer, “one…” he drops his head and her traitorous hands rise of their own accord, slide into his hair just as his lips find her mating gland, “touch?”

“Ben,” she gasps as a feeling of rightness washes over her, as her hormones demand more, more lips and tongue and teeth. Her fingers instinctively, roughly yank at his hair, and Rey registers a broken moan muffled against her neck in response. Good. Good. Let him be as desperate as she is, let him discover exactly what he’ll be going without–

–because the second she breaks free of this madness, Rey rips her hands out of his hair, shoves at his chest until he stumbles into the table. Ben is slow to look up at her, blinking the haze away, and when he does his eyes are dark with a need that matches the one in her soul.

It’s the kind of thing that could easily consume you whole, and Rey has no plans of letting it. So she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to center herself, ignores the way his scent sets her nerves on fire all over again, and quickly reaches for the doorknob.

“Let’s…” her voice is a barely audible rasp, and she has to clear her throat and try again while Ben continues to beg her with his eyes. “Let’s go back to ignoring each other,” Rey manages in one breath, and quickly steps out of the room.

“I’m not going to work today,” Ben announces blearily when Rey gently shakes him awake at seven in the morning as per their usual weekday wake-up routine.

“What?” Rey yawns and collapses back into bed, undoing what little progress she’d made in pulling herself into a sitting position. “Why not?”

He reaches for her out of habit, pulls her back against him even as his eyes remain closed. “Rut leave,” Ben mumbles into her neck, nosing at her gland in that absentminded, comfortable way that makes her want things they’re not ready for.

Rey struggles in his arms, finally turns around to find him slowly opening his eyes as he frowns at her in confusion. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asks, hooking one leg over his. “I could’ve given them early notice. Plus we wouldn’t have had to wake up at seven.”

Ben blinks at her for the longest time. “Rey,” he finally says, the sleepiness in his voice replaced by something more awake, more careful. “If you disappear during my rut just weeks after I called in sick during your heat, people will figure it out.”

“So?” she shrugs, because in all honesty a part of her had forgotten that no one else knows, that she’d seen this as some shameful secret to be kept hidden away in the beginning. It’s been a year since then, and there are days when Rey can’t believe how fast time’s flown by but there are also days when she can’t believe they haven’t been together their whole lives. Ben being in her life just… makes sense in a way that nothing else ever has or ever will, and it’s hard to remember that there was a time when she didn’t want this, didn’t want him.

“So,” he echoes, drags himself up to sit against the headboard. “Everyone will know. My mother. Your friends.”

She pulls herself up to mirror him, takes Ben’s hands in her own. “I don’t care,” Rey says softly, offers him a gentle smile when she catches his eye. “You were there for me when I needed you. I want to be here for you.”

“Sweetheart,” Ben sighs, and she knows the battle is won when he leans in and presses his forehead to hers even as he continues to question her. “Are you sure about this? You know what they’ll say about us, what they say about… about Alphas and Omegas.”

He whispers that last bit like it’s something shameful, something not to be brought up in broad daylight. In a way they’ve treated it like that, danced around the foundation of their relationship and never, ever referred to each other by designation outside of bed.

But it’s been a year.

Rey looks at him, at her Ben, and thinks of the way her heart flips when she opens her eyes first thing in the morning and finds him with her, of the way she feels with him and around him, of all the ways they’re perfect for each other that don’t involve him being an Alpha and her being an Omega. She looks at her Ben, and knows that their relationship is so much more than what it started out as.

“Let them say whatever they want,” she decides, presses a quick kiss to his lips and delights in the way a smile instantly blooms on his face. “I don’t care about any of it,” Rey assures him, slipping one hand free from Ben’s to cup his jaw. “I just care about you.”

A part of her does care, but – she cares that she won’t have to hide her smile behind her hand whenever Ben walks past at work, cares that she’ll be able to hold his hand and rest her head on his shoulder when the team goes out for lunch, cares that this moves them into new territory.

All she cares about right now, though, is the way Ben hauls her into his lap in response to her little declaration, pulls her in for a proper kiss and breaks away only to pull her nightshirt over her head.

“When does it start?” Rey asks as she hooks her fingers into the waistband of his boxers and Ben automatically lifts his hips to help her along. He’d only stopped taking his blockers around the same time she’d traded her suppressant implant for a basic contraceptive shot, but even on blockers he’d gone through yearly ruts, giving him the added advantage of being far more familiar with this process than she’d been with her heat.

“In a few hours, probably,” Ben answers distractedly, holding her in place as he kicks off his boxers. “Honestly, though?” he gives her a grin, the boyish one that she’s only recently grown familiar with and loves with all her soul. “I’ve felt a few hours away since the day we met.”

How does he do that, make something both endearingly sappy and unbearably hot? Rey rolls off his lap and onto her back, hooks her arms around Ben’s neck and pulls him down with her. “That was a ridiculous day,” she huffs, thinking of how negatively they’d both reacted to their instant attraction.

Ben hovers above her, hands on either side of her shoulders as he looks down at her. “If someone had told you then that we’d end up here… how would you have reacted?”

“Not well,” Rey says honestly as she reaches up, slides her fingers into his hair. “I was… god, Ben, I was terrified. And you know why, you were too,” she reminds him. “But… but I’m glad this is how it played out. I’m glad we ended up here.” Her voice has grown soft, and she’s probably wearing the most ridiculous, lovesick smile possible, but that’s okay because he is too.

“Me too, sweetheart,” Ben murmurs right as he lowers himself so that every inch of them is pressed together. She loves it when they’re like this – her Alpha a comfortable, familiar presence above her, reassuring without being suffocating.

Rey uses her hands in his hair to pull him in for a kiss, wraps her legs around him and sighs happily when Ben shifts to balance his weight on one hand while the other snakes between them to part her folds.

“Fuck, Rey–” he mumbles against her lips like he always does, as if after a year together and all the chemistry in the world he’s still awed by the fact that she wants him too, that she exists at all. Rey hums into their kiss, a wordless reassurance and acknowledgement all in one, and is all too happy to lose herself in the moment until the shrill ringing of her phone bursts their bubble.

“Tell me again why we need two alarms?” Ben grumbles lightly as he rolls off her so that Rey can grab her phone from the nightstand and shut off her 7:15.

“Because someone has a habit of getting distracted whenever I try to get us out of bed the first time around,” Rey reminds him teasingly as she unlocks her phone and taps on her email.

Ben turns on his side to grin at her. “Well, maybe if you weren’t so distracting I wouldn’t get so distracted,” he retorts. “What’re you doing? Come back here,” he frowns when Rey doesn’t immediately put her phone away.

“Just a minute,” she assures him. “I need to let work know I’m not coming in either. How many days off did you get?”

“Three,” Ben tells her as he turns to his own nightstand for the bottle of water he keeps there, offering it to Rey after a swig. “That’s the standard amount, usually. What are you going to tell them?”

She could probably call in sick the way he did during her heat, but why waste perfectly good sick days? Rey hands the bottle back to Ben and wraps up her email as he returns it to the nightstand. “That my partner is in rut,” she shrugs, deliberately casual as she puts her phone away and turns back to him.

It’s not quite the m-word, but it’s still something, especially in an email to work. Ben smiles, holds his arms wide open and pulls her on top of him.

“I like the sound of that,” he whispers against her lips.

“Yeah,” Rey smiles, thinking of the future that awaits them. “Me too.”

The final straw comes a month after their confrontation in the meeting room.

“Hey!” Rey calls out when Ben rushes past her, finally giving in to her natural inclination to chase after him rather than run away from him. He turns to her with a carefully guarded mask, feigns disinterest and impatience as if her proximity isn’t setting every cell of his body on fire.

Two can play at that game, Rey decides, and takes a vicious joy in the telling way his Adam’s apple bobs when she steps into his personal space. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” she demands before Ben can speak, and his eyes widen in shock for a split second before he catches himself.

“What now, Miss Niima?” he sighs, takes the excuse of crossing his arms to subtly move backwards a step.

“Oh, don’t you Miss Niima me–” she seethes, only to be interrupted by a faint squeak from somewhere behind her. Rey turns just in time to see a Beta colleague make a one-eighty and scurry down the hallway in the direction he came from, and it’s only then that she realizes they’re out in the open.

She gingerly pinches the fabric of Ben’s rolled-up sleeve between her fingers and tugs at him. “This way.”

“All this trouble just to get me alone?” Ben chuckles as he follows her down the hallway, and the smugness in his voice combined with the low rasp of his laugh just–

Rey snaps herself out of it, yanks him into a somewhat secluded corner before she crosses her arms and goes toe to toe with him. “The entire networking department? Really? Are you just that much of an asshole that you’re willing to fire seven people over what is clearly a piss-poor excuse for you to get rid of your father?”

The teasing light in his eyes, the slight curve of his lips – all of it drains away as he draws himself up to his full height and glares down at her. “It’s an obsolete, overpaid department. Maybe the consultancy needed a dedicated networking team when it was first started, but it’s made more than enough connections since. So I can either let go of a department that’s outlived its usefulness, or I can make the cuts somewhere else, from a department that’s actually useful. What would you suggest, sweetheart?” he sneers, and god, she just wants to punch him and knock him down and possibly straddle him.

“Don’t call me that,” Rey snaps, irritated at both herself and him. “And don’t even try to pretend that this was purely a professional decision. You’ve hated your father since the day you got here–”

Ben ducks his head and mumbles something under his breath, and it’s out of character enough for her irritation to be momentarily replaced by confusion.

“What?”

“I said,” he huffs, looks down at his shoes, “I don’t hate him.”

Bewilderment slows her down, softens her enough for her squared shoulders to slump as she tilts her head and considers the unexpected sight in front of her. Ben’s… not relaxed, never that, but certainly nowhere near as tense as he usually is around her. Something about the way his eyes refuse to meet hers, the way he’s the slightest bit curled into himself, screams resignation at her.

It’s not unwarranted, his assumption that nothing he says will change her mind. After all, it’s been six weeks since Ben showed up and ruined her – ruined her life, that is – and she’s proven herself to be remarkably disagreeable since, butting heads with him at every possible occasion because all of that tension has to go somewhere, and she’d rather channel it into bickering with him while Poe and Leia watch them like the world’s most fascinating ping pong match than use it to fuel this thing between them.

But just this once… “Then why?” Rey asks quietly, gently enough for Ben to slowly raise his head and meet her with something like tentative hope in his eyes. “Why all of the…” she thinks of the way he leaves a room the second his father enters it, the way he ignores Han’s attempts at conversations and brushes past him with a little too much force, the way he undermines the older man in every meeting they’re forced to share, and encompasses it with a vague wave of her hand and a furrowed brow.

Ben shakes his head with a sigh. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me,” she retorts unthinkingly, stupidly, and the second his lips twitch Rey knows she’s fucked up.

“Careful there, sweetheart,” he murmurs with a smirk, and the heat of his gaze sets her skin on fire, raises all of the little hairs on the back of her neck and her arms. “That almost sounds like an offer.”

“God,” Rey huffs, rolls her eyes and takes a step backwards even as her body aches for him. “You’re impossible,” she declares, and makes to turn on her heel and walk away.

It’s their pattern, after all. Creeping closer, and closer, and closer in the world’s most ridiculous game of chicken until one of them realizes the very real danger they’re in and decides to back down.

Lately, she’s been the one doing all the backing down. Something tells her that maybe Ben isn’t quite interested in the game anymore, that he would draw more satisfaction from luring her in than watching her lose.

He still chuckles faintly every time she runs away, though, and oh does it grate on her nerves but for this, for the sake of everything, Rey is willing to swallow her pride and be the chicken every time.

Only this time, Ben doesn’t let her.

One second she’s turning away from him and the next he’s pulled her into his arms, warm fingers curled low on her hip while the other hand slowly, slowly makes it way towards her neck.

“And yet, Rey,” Ben murmurs, staring at her like he can’t quite believe she’s real, like he expects her to disappear into thin air any second now. “And yet,” he sighs, and ducks his head to replace his fingers with his mouth.

One brush of his lips against her gland and she’s gone, she’s tired and she wants and how futile is this, anyway, denying her biology, denying herself, denying him as if he isn’t the only thing she’s ever wanted. Rey gives in with a shuddery exhale, lets her spine melt into a useless puddle and trusts Ben to hold her upright.

“We really need to do something about this,” she whispers with her chin on top of his head, raises one shaky hand to finally tangle itself in his hair only to find that it’s as soft as she dreamed it would be.

Ben scrapes his teeth across her gland, applying only the slightest bit of pressure. “Please,” he mumbles against her skin. “Please, Rey, please.”

Biology and society dictate that she should be the one begging him, that he should’ve thrown her over his shoulder and hauled her off to his home by now, that they should’ve given in to each other the day they met. Biology and society, Rey thinks as she lifts her head and uses the hand in Ben’s hair to pull him away from her neck, are exactly why she didn’t give in.

But Ben, Ben the Alpha who walked away from her when he should’ve done anything but, Ben the Alpha who lets her walk away from him time after time, Ben who looks at her now desperate and pleading but if she were to deny him again he’d let her, he’d take his big, warm hands off her back and watch her leave and never corner her or confront her–

Ben is why she gives in.

“No one can know,” she warns him, heart in her throat as she takes them past the point of no return.

“Of course,” Ben nods quickly, eagerly.

“It’s just a one-time thing,” Rey stipulates even as a voice in the back of her mind chants liar liar liar.

He hesitates for a moment, but then– “If that’s what you want.”

She nods, just once. “It is. Just one time, to get it out of our systems. And then we can put this behind us and move on.”

It’s laughable, it’s ridiculous, it’s sheer idiocy to think she can get this out of her system when it is her system, to think that the universe and the fates and their physiology perfectly aligned so that they could have just one amazing fuck and then go their separate ways.

But then Ben nods again, curls his fingers around her hips and squeezes, and it can’t be that ridiculous if two perfectly sensible and intelligent people are agreeing to it, right?

So she yanks him down to her and finally, finally kisses him, pretends the world isn’t falling to pieces around her as she bites down on his lower lip and eagerly swipes at the bead of blood emerging from her cut, her mark. “My place is ten minutes away,” Rey manages to inform him between kisses.

Ben answers by pulling her back in for one final kiss before he wrenches himself away with a pained groan.

“Lead the way, sweetheart.”

“Please,” Ben whines, his skin clammy with sweat, his hair plastered to his face, his eyes wide and desperate and trusting as she releases him from her mouth with a wet pop. “Please, Rey, need more, need you–”

It’s her favorite thing about his rut – how soft and needy he gets, how he trusts her to take care of him. Her Alpha lies spreadeagled on their bed, fists clenching around the headboard’s slats in desperation, begging and waiting even though rut is supposed to drive him out of his mind, is supposed to drown out all consideration for her wants and needs with his own single-minded purpose.

“You have me, love,” Rey promises him, moves from between his legs to settle her own on either side of his hips and slowly lower herself down. He shakes from the effort of keeping his hips still as she takes him into her, letting her set the pace even now because some part of his brain still remembers that she must be sore after three days of taking his knot more times than she can keep track of.

Ben removes his hands from the headboard, settles them over her hips as she begins to move. “Want you,” he babbles, looking up at her like she hung the moon and the stars and everything in between. “Just you, always you, fuck, Rey, so good, so perfect for me, made for me, I love you I love you I–” he chokes on a desperate sob as she stills, rolls his hips to try and get her to move again.

“Please, sweetheart, please–”

Rey leans forward, stretches over him to push his hair back from his face and press a kiss to his heart. “Just a second,” she assures him, locks her legs around his waist and twines her arms around his neck before she carefully rolls them over.

“I’ve got you,” Rey murmurs as Ben drops his head to her shoulder with a moan and gives an experimental thrust, the last vestiges of his self-control disappearing in light of his newly-acquired control over this, over her. “I’ve got you, Alpha,” she sighs, closes her eyes as Ben begins to move at a frenzied pace she doesn’t even try to keep up with.

She whispers a string of pretty words into his ear instead, digs her nails into his shoulders to anchor herself as he grows closer and closer to the end. “Just like that, love, so good, my Alpha, my mate–”

He comes with a muffled cry against her neck, breath warm on her gland. It’s not lost on her that the word mate was what finally pushed him over the edge, the way it has for the last three days.

But then he’s stretching her in the most delicious way, and all she can focus on is him inside her, his spend filling her up, this is right this is what we’re meant for this is how we start a family–

It’s just harmless Omega babbling, the kind she’s grown familiar with ever since she went off her suppressants, and the birth control shot she got a year ago sets her mind at ease as she comes down from her high to find Ben rolling them onto their sides.

Rey loves him, loves the idea of their life together and the years that await and the family that will come, but one step at a time. And the next step, for them–

“You called me your mate again,” Ben whispers into her hair as Rey curls one leg around his back and takes his knot as deep as it’ll go.

“You liked it,” she mumbles defensively against his bare shoulder, sighing in contentment when the familiar weight of his hand settles on her lower back, pulling her as close as she can possibly be.

Ben huffs a silent laugh against her temple, presses a kiss to her heated skin. “I love it,” he assures her. “But Rey…” God, the way he looks at her, all barely concealed hope as he puts his heart in her hands. “Rey, I need to know.”

The thing is, on the first day of his rut the word had slipped past her lips entirely by accident, just another one of those things she knew would please her Alpha. Rey keeps a careful catalogue of these things, uses it to her advantage whenever he’s in rut; it’s why she finds herself begging him to put a baby in her every three months even though they’ve both decided that kids aren’t in the cards just yet.

So at first… well, at first it was just like the baby thing. But then Rey said it again, and again, and while Ben napped to recover his strength she’d gotten lost inside her own head until she decided that maybe, just maybe, they’re finally ready.

And now here they are.

“I think,” Rey says carefully, reaches out to tuck a lock of hair behind Ben’s ear before she cups his cheek. He instinctively turns into her touch and nuzzles her palm, and his gesture sends a tidal wave of fondness and adoration and warmth washing over her, and Rey, Rey can’t imagine ever living without any of this.

“I think this is something we should discuss when you’re not in rut,” she smiles, an answer in its own way if Ben’s grin is anything to go by.

. . .

When she wakes up the next morning, one arm nestled under her pillow and the other draped around Ben’s waist, the first thing Rey does is sniff at the air.

“It’s over,” Ben informs her quietly, opening his eyes to give her a sleepy smile, the one that makes her want to burrow deeper into her pillow and him and their bed so that she’ll never have to leave.

She hums in acknowledgement, shifts closer to him. “That’s good. I’ve got something to ask you,” Rey announces through a yawn.

Ben’s lips quirk into a knowing grin. “Funny, so do I.”

And she knows, the way she knew he was meant to be hers the second they met, exactly what he’s about to ask. An unfamiliar giddiness takes hold of Rey as she playfully suggests, “On the count of three?”

“All right,” Ben laughs, taken aback by her suggestion but happy to play along all the same. God, she loves his laugh, loves the way it makes his eyes crinkle, loves everything about this man.

They lock eyes, the pair of them grinning like idiots, and count in sync.

“One… two… three–”

“Be my mate?”

“Be my wife?”

Ben lifts the hand between their bodies, holds up a ring he must’ve retrieved before she woke up. It’s not at all the question she was expecting, but Rey–

Rey laughs and nods and kisses him until the ring is lost and forgotten in the tangled mess of their sheets.

It only took me two whole weeks to write this disaster, no big deal.

As usual, this is nowhere near what I originally envisioned and I’m not all that pleased with it, but it’s time to let go. I hope that this was a fun read if nothing else, and I’m sorry if the back-and-forth jumps were jarring; the story just wouldn’t let itself be told any other way. To avoid confusion, I did mess around with some of the usual ABO details, especially re: how suppressants work. It deviates from the norm a bit, but then again this whole fic is one big deviation because ya girl can’t smut to save her life.

As always, thank you for reading! If you enjoyed this or have any thoughts you’d like to share, please don’t hesitate to like/reblog/comment.

[sanjayaaditi-blog]

STEVEN UNIVERSE STRANDED: THOUGHTS AND **SPOILERS** AHEAD!!

You know I’ve been mulling it over for a bit now, so I’m gonna bat around a few thoughts on our newest gem behb. Most distracting to me, this: *There seems to be this sort of assumption from the fandom running around that Pink is the ‘youngest’ Diamond. And while I am not refuting this idea, and her childish attitude and whiny demands do support this, we don’t actually have any proof of this. In fact, for all we know, all of the Diamonds were produced at the same time. Are Blue and Yellow essentially her ‘mothers’? Or are they closer to her ‘sisters’? And then imagine how very different those dynamics are and how one is plenty appropriate, while one is utterly demeaning. ((Note that I don’t consider Stevonnie calling Dr. Maheswaran “mom” in the beginning of the dream as any concrete evidence that Blue and Yellow are any older than Pink. I think this is just to draw parallels and demonstrate the powerplay between the Diamonds. Once the ‘memory’ portion of the dream begins, Stevonnie never refers to Yellow as “mom”.)) Yes, Pink Diamond is absolutely a brat. Yes, from what we’ve seen, she was in no way ready to have a colony of her own at that time. But is her incompetance and frustration because she’s a child? Or is it because she’s “defective” and therefore has been treated as incompetent since day one? If she’s not educated, informed, and given the same opportunities to thrive and grow as the other Diamonds- essentially treated like, well, a ‘child’- Then what else is she going to act like?? She would have no frame of reference. All she would know is that ‘She’s a Diamond too.’ but she isn’t treated like one. ‘Why doesn’t she get any planets of her own?’ ‘How long does she have to wait??’ ‘She deserves at least ONE.’ Her mounting frustration is hard not to understand with that inferiority complex being kicked into high gear. Now all that said, my gut does sort of lean with this idea that she was produced post Yellow/Blue. But I still wonder, was she brought up and treated the same way as they were? Were they ignored and expected to wait? Or did they pop out, ready to go and start conquering worlds, while Pink conversely was put on the back burner? Other thoughts: *If Yellow is stern momma, I think we’ve all guessed that Blue is soft momma. Her grief over Pink’s untimely demise is definitely starting to look like it’s colored with a sense of guilt and personal responsibility; I agree with the notion that’s running around that Blue probably pushed for Pink to be given a colony of her own, and would therefore feel Pink’s death is a direct result of her ‘mistake’. *I’m seeing a lot of wondering if Diamonds ‘age’, or have a different growth process, since Pink has been previously portrayed as bigger and badder than she is in her reveal. I think this could easily be explained away as stylistic choices or design changes over time- but even if not? Maybe Pink behb liked to shapeshift to present herself as the unquestionable authority she was to her subjects?? Purple Puma style, anyone?? *I’m starting to see a motivation for why the Diamond Authority would want Pink shattered. No, not because Pink annoyed the everloving crystalpiss out of at least one of them. Because Pink was a direct threat. First off, Pink was working on producing a colony of Quartz soldiers. Soldiers that apparently have no real place in Gem Society. ((Remember when Holly Blue mentions that the Zoo houses and staffs the “otherwise useless quartzes she produced”??)) What was she gonna do with these soldiers then? Um... maybe, take them back to Homeworld and attempt to topple the Diamond authority that held her down for so long, while proving “defective” gems such as herself can be equally powerful and starting a new regime...?? I mean... Pretty sure that’s what I would be doing with that army, if I was Pink... X’DDD But even if there was no such intention, Pink was STILL a threat, simply because of what she represented. Giving a “defect” her own planet and treating her (not quite) like an “equal”, would naturally stir unrest in society. This is exactly the kind of symbolism that may rile their less than perfect gems to revolt, or even regular gems to revolt in their name. Enemy or not, isn’t Pink just the kind of figure to inspire a gem to do something like... I dunno, start a rebellion? BUT! All will be revealed in good time and Rebecca Sugar has quite the knack for surprising us when we least expect it. ^__^ It was a helluvan event, and the hype is FLOWIN’. Until next time!! Pink behb love! <3

[killscreencinema]

Mega Man-a-thon - Mega Man (NES)

I’m so psyched about Capcom’s announcement for Mega Man 11, that I’ve decided to play through all of the games in preparation for the Blue Bomber’s glorious (albeit 2.5D) return!  Truth be told, as a mega fan of Mega Man, I’ve been eager to cover these games on my blog for a long time, but I tend to get sidetracked with games I’ve never played (whereas I’ve played most of the Mega Man games rather obsessively).  What better time than the 30th anniversary to celebrate the ups-and-downs of the series before culminating in playing the newest game?

Mega Man, released for the NES by Capcom in 1987, is set in the not-too-distant future of 20XX, where most of the hard labor is performed by robots (stoopid robits, takin’ our jerbs!!!).  However, the world is disrupted when the evil Dr. Wily reprograms six robot masters to go rogue and attack humanity.  It’s up to Mega Man, a battle robot created by the brilliant Dr. Light, to fight the corrupted robots and bring Dr. Wily to justice! 

By the way, as a quick side note, I will probably copy and paste this synopsis for every game because that’s... pretty much always the plot.

This game is infamous for two reasons:

1.) The game is notoriously difficult, especially the last few levels.

2.) The atrocious box art.

I mean really take a good long look at that thing.  Man oh man is that ugly.  Everybody who is anybody on the internet has already taken shots at this thing, but it’s like the Mona Lisa of terrible box art - it’s a timeless piece that begs constant academic analysis and debate.  In fact, the Angry Video Game Nerd performed a fine analysis of the cover:

My own take is that somehow Keiji Inafune’s quickly drawn concept art for what would eventually evolve into Mega Man (or Rockman in Japan) somehow got mistaken for the box art and they had already printed it on thousands of boxes before realizing their mistake.  Even if that were the case, how anyone could look at that - AT THAT - drawing and think, “Yep - that looks like finished promotional art” is frankly astounding.  When you get right down to it, that’s the real phenomena here - the sheer level of incompetence at play that allowed for this cover art to slip by quality control.  It’s no wonder that Mega Man undersold in the United States and that, as a kid, I had never even heard of the game until the sequel was released.

Yes, while Mega Man was the first game in the series, it’s not the first of the series that I played, not for lack of trying.  The game was so hard to find, I would not even have the opportunity to play it until I discovered emulators in high school.  As a matter of fact, Mega Man was the first game I booted up on my beloved NESticle once my friend gave me the rundown on the wild world of emulators and ROMs.  What a world shattering day that was by the way.  I was spending the night with a friend, and when I arrived, I walked into his bedroom to immediately see him playing Super Mario 3 on his PC.  It was one of those moments where my sense of reality was completely subverted and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing.  Then when he showed me that Super Mario 3 was just one of HUNDREDS of NES games he could play FOR FREE... I had to sit down.

Anyway, back to the game.  Mega Man is also notoriously difficult, which is valid, though it certainly isn’t among the hardest NES games I’ve ever played.  Like any Mega Man game, once you know the proper order for taking on each robot master, the game gets much easier.  The difficulty only amps up once you get to Dr. Wily’s castle, where you not only have to platform through tricky stages, but take on some hard-as-balls bosses, the most infamous of which is the appropriately named Yellow Devil.

This guy is a bastard.  He disassembles, with each piece of him flying to the opposite end of the room, before reassembling and briefly being vulnerable to attack.  While there is a consistent pattern to dodging his various pieces, the tricky part is that each hit takes off a significant amount of your health, while the most damage you can deliver with each shot is at least *half* of the damage he inflicts on you.  So it can be a slow, laborious process taking this guy down, or you can die super fast, all of which is ESPECIALLY stressful when you consider that getting a game over means you have to repeat the entire stage again before you get another shot at him.  So stock up on those 1-ups!

Like in every Mega Man game after this, you have to also go through a gauntlet of boss battles with the robot masters you’ve already defeated before taking on Dr. Wily himself.  This can be tricky as well since the bosses can soften you up considerably, depleting both your health and weapons, before you get a fair shot at Wily.  Thankfully, Dr. Wily is pretty easy, just as long as you carefully dodge his projectiles and know which weapons to use against each of his forms (Fire Man’s weapon for the first, and Cut Man’s weapon for the second).  Once he’s down, Mega Man returns to Dr. Light and peace is restored to the land... for now.

Mega Man is a solid enough game, even though the game is too short and the level design is rather bland compared to what’s to come later in the series.  While the next two games are significant improvements to Mega Man in every way, the impact of this first game must be appreciated.  The ability to choose what order to defeat each level was a pretty novel concept back then.  In fact, it’s widely agreed upon that Mega Man was the very FIRST game to introduce the concept of non-linear level selection! 

Stay tuned for more Mega Man-a-thon mania!  If you could care less about Mega Man, don’t worry - I’ll have normal reviews coming up as well!

[whiskeyworen]

Evolution of Sonnya’s Powered Armor

I decided I wanted to do an Iron Man-esque rundown of all of Sonnya’s versions and upgrades of her Powered armor suits, with some descriptions as to their capabilities, just to show how she’s advanced her tech. Took a while to sift my screenshots for enough armor shots to make it worthwhile, so enjoy!

Mark 1 Semi-Powered Armor Suit Contains a basic under-armour layer of myomer motion-assist systems to raise user’s strength between 10% and 30%. No additional power shielding, basic battery powercell. A proof-of-concept design. There were several other Mks of this suit, each one with a progressively stronger powercell and refined muscle-enhancement units. None are notable except as advances on a base design. Mark 1.7 finally finished with a muscle-enhancement modifier of 50% to the user’s natural strength, and a VERY basic, temporary shield system with a barrier lifespan of three seconds at a time. It would take 15 seconds for the barrier to regenerate after it absorbed enough damage to pop.

Mark 2v2 Fully Powered Armor Suit (Maguuma Variant “Buzzsaw”) The initial Mk2 had an improved power-assist system and stronger internal structure that lent the user an additional 100% to their natural strength. Barrier strength was enhanced with a larger power core mounted behind the chestplate, with an unlimited lifespan (until the barrier is popped), and a recharge time of only five seconds. This model is the first time Sonnya diverted energy to add holographic wings as a personal aesthetic. The Mk2v1 and 2v2 were created in direct response to the Maguuma War against Mordremoth. Upon learning they’d be heading into the jungle, Sonnya modified the Mk2 to have semi-retractable energy blades instead of a barrier system. The edges of the blade units, when used, would generate a molecule-thin sharpness that no Mordrem vine could shake off easily. It became standard behavior after the crash of the fleet, for Sonnya to either leap into a group of enemies, or be thrown by a teammate, to wreak havoc with the glowing edges of her blades. Certain of the pact nicknamed it the ‘Weedwhacker’ suit, though Sonnya preferred to refer to it as the ‘Buzzsaw’ The Mk 2v2 had minor modifications; some energy was rediverted from the blades to add a skin-tight energy barrier, weaker than the Mk1.7′s, but in addition to the energy blades, and a flip-out mapper display in the gorget.

Mark 3 Advanced Incindiary Powered Armor (Burner Bulwark) New advances in power distribution and relay systems permitted the spreading of small, intensely powerful energy cores through the structure of the armor. Each segment had its own dedicated core and capacitor, as well as shield unit. An Aether-energy collector was added to the left shoulder to draw in vast amounts of power should it be needed, as well as a failsafe system to vent excess power into specially designed channels in the body of the armor. The shield system was unique in that, the more damage it took, it absorbed and converted into contained heat energy. When the shield finally popped, Sonnya would be able to vent all that heat at once from any point on her armor she chose, though it would leave her without a shield once the energy was vented. It would take 15 seconds to ramp up enough energy for each unit to bring its shield online, though the time was cut down by half if she let the capacitors draw from the chestplate’s powercore. The visor contains a more compact, advanced version of the Maguuma mapper of the previous Mk, as well as various other sensors. Most of them were dedicated to the function of the suit, but some were for locating allies and foes, as well as threat analysis.

Mark 3v5 Advanced Incindiary Powered Armor (Burner Striker) (Used in the story “Shatterpoint”) Refinements in crystal energy storage brought about a minor adjustment to the Mk3. Even more power could be funnelled into the suit, now equipped with a small Mist-energy reactor. Muscle enhancement motor assist was upped to a whopping 200%. Shield system was upgraded so that each shield unit would integrate and overlap its shields with its neighbours, sharing power and structural strength. If used at 100% battery power, a user could shrug off cannonshot, though the armor would temporarily lock and render them immobile for the time the shields linked. The visor system is identical to the Mk3, with the exception it also contains power usage meters in the HUD and a structural damage model in the corner of a user’s vision (to indicate damage to the suit). It was also the first armor system to feature connections to Sonnya’s experimental and illegal implant system, which was directly connected to her body. When engaged, the implant systems magnified all parameters by 200% or higher, though the armor itself and its components were not rated for that kind of strain for longer than a few seconds. This unit suffered catastrophic failure in the bringing down of Shatterer #137, and was entirely scrapped, though its designs were successful enough that Sonnya eventually used it as a NEW base design for her armor.

Mark 3v7 Advanced Incindiary Powered Armor (Burner Striker Beta) Functionally identical to the Mk3v5, the only notable differences to this suit is an increased linkage system to the Implant system within Sonnya, a refinement of the shield and power systems based off the wreckage of The Warmachine of Balthazar, and an upgrade to the holographic wing generators. A minor addition replaced the gauntlets with a pair of modified and customized Nightmare gauntlets, threaded with the newest shield and Implant linkage technology. A failsafe system was added to armor to cause break-away if any section dropped to fatal levels of power, to prevent the catastrophic failure seen in the Mk 3v5, and the injury of Sonnya herself. There IS no helmet to this unit; an armor barrier of energy will pop up in reaction to any attack to Sonnya’s head. The HUD of the visor is now directly incorporated into her vision via the Implant linkage with her suit, superimposed on her vision. (not shown here.) Implant technology has advanced to the point that Sonnya alone can lift 200% her own weight unassisted (when the implants are engaged at 50% ‘safe’ levels). Integrated with the additional 200% of the Mk3v7, she can punch through basalt with ease. Shield system is even further refined from the Mk 3v5 after it’s nominal success during Shatterer #137

Mark 4 Advanced Incindiary Assault Powered Armor (Dragon Crusher) Simply nicknamed “Dragon Crusher”, this is the current Mk of armor Sonnya wears. Developed for the fight against Kralkatorrik, following the fall of Joko, it carries all the improvements of the Mk 3v7, and refines them with increased linkage to the Implant system, kinetic dampeners, reactive armor plating (kinetic absorbers) and an enhanced and micronized distributed power cell system with Mist-collector redundancies. It also incorporates a new kind of volatile magic absorber, which funnels any stray volatile magic directly into the shield and muscle-assist systems, taking some of the strain off the built-in power systems. The more raw magic is around her, the stronger Sonnya’s suit gets, and the tougher she gets to bring down. The gauntlets were ‘upgraded’ (read as ‘they grew into and around and adjusted for’) increased structural strength and durability. To a degree they can feed off the power of the suit now, but as is tradition with Nightmare gear, they draw their true power from Sonnya herself... who draws her power from so many sources now. There is no visor. She no longer needs one, or a helmet. The suit shields her head, and all her sensors are now part of her vision and body. ------- If you got this far, thanks for reading! This was just something I kinda wanted to do. I wanted to do basically a before and after evolution of Sonnya and her gear, and this is what I came up with. I think the Emperor would be proud of the fact Sonnya’s kinda turning herself into a goddamned Astartes piece by piece.

[seriouslyhooked]

HOLY (The CS Mixtape) Part 132/?

Series of CS oneshots inspired by music. Collection on FF Here.

A/N: Future CS fic where Emma and Killian are married. They’ve got a little one already and are expecting another child in the next few months, and as such this is basically just 100% fluff. It’s told from Killian’s POV and I’m tying it along with another reader request for the song ‘H.O.L.Y’ by Florida Georgia Line. Rated M because when in doubt always smuff. Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy!

Sleep was a precious commodity for any parent, but when those parents also happened to be the protector’s of a small, magically inclined town, and self-proclaimed heroes fending off many a dark force, it was all the harder to come by. A sane man would cling to every opportunity he had for some shut-eye, and yet here Killian was, wide-awake in the earliest morning hours smiling like a fool over the sight before him.

With the new morning’s rays of sun moving through the curtain, the room was bright enough for Killian to make out every detail of his lovely wife and there was nothing about her Killian wasn’t entranced by. Her golden hair was all over the place, tousled and tangled around her on the pillow, begging Killian to fun his fingers through it. The delicate freckles that came out more and more during the sunny summer months were clear as day now, and her lips were curved into a half smile, as if Emma’s dreams were lovely enough to keep her happy even in the depths of slumber.

Killian traced every last detail with his gaze, moving down her body and finding the surest sense of joy when he saw her hand, gently placed upon her abdomen that was currently swollen with their child. Even in sleep Emma was protecting that little boy or girl, and Killian’s hand moved there too in a silent show of support and love.

The action had Emma shifting in her sleep, stirring awake, her green eyes opening and a smile forming as they did. She made for the most beautiful picture right now, with her calm sense of serenity and a genuine aura of happiness hanging around her. Years ago Killian never could have dreamed of mornings like this one, but now they were the norm. Gods he was a lucky man.

“Why are you awake?” Emma asked, stretching slightly as she did, her movements shifting the sheet that was covering them and drawing his attention to the lithe lines of her body only shielded by a thin nightgown.

“It’s morning, love,” Killian replied with a soft kiss to her lips.

“It is, but I would think you’d need a little extra rest after the night we had.”

And what a night it had been. After getting their daughter Hope to bed, Killian tried to do something romantic for his Swan and had apparently been successful. They’d gone out to the porch swing and there he’d had some candles and a few flowers ready for her along with cocoa and a bit of dessert that he thought she might enjoy. Killian wanted to give Emma something beautiful and thoughtful after a string of busy days, and the next thing he knew she was tearing up and telling him that it was perfect and that he was perfect too.

Of course that was far from the truth, but Killian eventually conceded that perhaps they were perfect for each other. Emma agreed, and after enjoying the coastal breeze and staring up at the stars for a while together, he brought her back inside so that Emma could have her way with him. Their exploration of each other had been thorough and started and stopped more than once during the night thanks to Emma’s insatiable wants that came around each time she was pregnant, but Killian had been a very eager and willing participant every step of the way. Just the thought of it now all these hours later had Killian grinning uncontrollably.

“What can I say, love? It’s a gift.” Emma laughed, the gravel of sleep clinging to the sound and making the melody of it even richer to his ears.

“A gift huh? Who for?” Emma asked, her hand trailing down Killian’s chest in a slow, tantalizing fashion.

“Well for my insatiable wife of course,” Killian countered before moving above Emma and getting her to admit that she was just as desirous for this as he was right now. She might pretend otherwise, but Emma was always right there with him in this need for more between them and honestly, that was just the way Killian liked it.

It was impossible to tell who started the kiss that came next, but Killian took comfort in the sound of impatience that passed Emma’s lips when he moved away, his mouth trailing down her neck and then to her breasts that he exposed by moving the straps of her nightgown off her shoulder and then down her body. They were all the more sensitive from the presence of their baby and begging for his touch, and though it was always easy to rile Emma up with the right amount of attention and purposeful, meticulous care, in this state, emboldened by her hormones and baby-induced cravings, she was a conduit to bliss itself.

Under his ministrations, Emma shared all of her honest responses and pleas for more and it left Killian feeling eternally grateful for the spell she’d managed to conjure when their daughter was born that kept any noise from exiting this room while leaving them privy to outside influences. Killian could listen out for anything that might draw their attention elsewhere in these early morning hours and still have the life-affirming words and moans of his lovely wife too, and that was a precious treasure indeed.

After riling her up to a point of clear frustration, Killian had mercy on Emma and with the use of his hand, and the gentle swirl of his thumb against her clit, he sent her gasping into her climax and releasing that gorgeous flush against her creamy skin. She was a siren here in their bed, a goddess made real, and Killian was in awe of her and everything she’d given him, not the least of which was the baby on the way who Killian murmured loving words to as he kissed Emma’s stomach and then headed further down her curvy figure.

“You know with two little kids running around here it’s going to be so much harder to find time for this,” Killian growled against the delicate flesh between Emma’s thighs and felt her jump at the sensation. He grinned at that, loving how everything about the way they were together made Emma more desirous.

“We’ll just have to get creative then, Swan. Won’t be the first time, and it certainly won’t be the last.”  

Emma looked liable to ask what he meant by that, but before he could make mention of his hopes of having at least one more child after this baby with her, he set about pleasuring Emma with his tongue. He could easily have made quick work of this, but drawing out Emma’s anticipations was a luxury Killian didn’t dare toss away. It was risky to go so slow, not only because his stubborn wife grew more hot and bothered with every second, but because interruption could come at any moment. But still Killian ran that risk, holding off on letting her shatter again until she begged for release.

“Killian, please!”

The simple words were everything to him, and Killian felt revitalized in every way when he realized that he was the only man who could give this to Emma, the only man that his lovely wife wanted or trusted enough to be here. It was a miracle to love someone as much as he loved Emma and have that love returned, and as he moved back up her body after letting her fall apart again, he brushed some hair away from her face and told her exactly how he felt.

“There is nothing in this world that compares to loving you, Emma. You’ve given me everything, my love. Everything.”

Her soft green eyes lit up at his words the way they did every time he attached any possessive turns of phrase that drew them closer together. Sometimes she did the same thing, and more than once he’d heard her describing him as ‘her Captain.’ That was easily his favorite moniker, aside from when she called him her husband or her true love.

“And you’ve given me everything too. Everything we have, everything we’re going to have, it’s all possible because we found it together.”

“Aye, love. Together.”

With those sweet words of affirmation, Killian thrust home, part of him worried for their child though he knew by now that there was no real danger. He started slow and steady, filling her with his hard length over and over, but soon enough (thanks to the sheer brilliance of his wife and her hastening pleas) his softness deteriorated and gave way to a hard and fast claiming, designed to sate them both on this glorious morning.

When they both gave way to that pleasure, basking in the afterglow of their love, Killian felt more alive than ever and ready to greet the day, but he noted that Emma was still tired and he knew if he gave her the opportunity she would doze some more. He wanted that to be sure, and he knew just the way to make it happen.

“I love you, Emma. With all my heart,” Killian said, pulling a lazy, sleepy smile from his wife as he kissed her one last time.

“I know,” He chuckled at Emma’s reply, his hand tracing a delicate pattern on her back and Emma fell back into sleep once more, appearing as serene and peaceful as he’d ever seen her.

Hard as it was for him to do, Killian eventually eased his way out of bed, leaving the perfect sense of completion he got from holding Emma in his arms as she slept in the hopes of granting her a little more peace and quiet. The Jones family was a clan of early risers, but Emma was more tired than she otherwise would be thanks to the baby on the way. In three more months they’d meet the newest member of this family, and Killian could hardly wait to meet the little lad or lass and prove to them that their father would always love them and this family more than anything in all the realms.

As Killian slipped on clothes for the day and went about his morning routine silently, his mind wandered to the truth of how he’d been blessed a million times over when he found Emma. She was the reason for his redemption, the guiding light that had brought him back from darkness, and everything he had in this life he owed to her. Every ounce of happiness he’d tasted these past few years were a gift from his beloved wife, and that didn’t make Emma a savior – it made her an angel, one that Killian truly believed had fallen just to bring home.

Yet Emma wasn’t the only divinely sent person in his life, and as Killian heard the fast patter of little footsteps moving around inside his daughter’s room just next door he knew his darling girl was awake bright and early, just as he was.

“Daddy! Daddy!”

Killian smiled in spite of the volume and he shushed Hope lovingly, causing her to giggle and shush back. She was the sweetest thing he’d ever seen, with curly brown hair and her mother’s eyes. She was a rascal and had all the makings of a pirate, but to Killian she would always be his princess. At nearly four years of age, Hope was growing far too fast for his liking, but there was still time to watch her grow, and Killian planned to make the most of every moment that he had with his little girl.

“Good morning, little lass. Sleep well?”

“Of course. I had Henry.”

Killian smiled at the stuffed bear that his daughter carried with her more often than not. It had been a gift from her elder brother for Christmas one year, but none of them could have imagined how attached Hope would be to it. It was her placeholder for her brother when he was away at college, and even when everyone said she could give the bear any name she wanted she maintained that the best name was Henry. After all, there was no one else who protected her like her big brother, aside from her parents who Hope reasoned were always there no matter what.

“I’m glad to hear it, love. Now, what do you say to a new mission? Operation ‘make your mother breakfast.’”

“Can the breakfast be pancakes?” Hope asked and Killian pretended to consider. “Please Daddy! Mommy loves pancakes especially when I help make the faces with the blueberries.”

“Alright, love, pancakes it is.”

With a fast forward motion Killian scooped his daughter up in his arms, pulling another giggle from the little tyke as he peppered kisses to her face. Gods it did his heart good to hear his daughter laugh like this. It was an incredibly powerful thing – knowing that the two most important women in his life were happy and safe.

“Do you think you can keep very quiet as we go down the stairs?” Killian asked and Hope nodded immediately.

“Super duper quiet,” she promised and Killian shook his head at the strange phrasing, chalking it up to one of those sayings Hope had learned from her grandparents or some passing townsfolk, and heading down the stairs and into the kitchen where they would set off to work.

Killian knew that he and Emma were incredibly lucky to have a daughter like Hope. Despite her boundless energy and curiosity that was bound to get her into trouble sometimes, she was a dear, always looking to help with anything, and better behaved than any young child Killian had ever met. She was going to make a remarkable older sister, and as if she could read Killian’s mind she brought up the new baby while sprinkling in her blueberries into the pancake mix.

“Is the baby coming today, Daddy?” she asked, still not understanding the time parameters of this sort of thing.

“Not today, angel,” Killian confessed helping her reach when her lack of height kept her from doing so.

“Tomorrow?” Hope asked, clearly wanting the arrival to be sooner rather than later.

“Afraid not. We’ve a few more months to go.” Killian realized she likely didn’t understand that concept and corrected himself. “Many more mornings and many more sleeps.”

Hope gave a little sigh, the sound almost sad in its sincerity. It pulled at Killian’s heartstrings even though there was really nothing wrong. The pregnancy was going fantastically, the doctors had assured them of that, and though Emma was still working hard at the station, they had a system designed to keep her healthy and happy and to keep the ship afloat despite the changes to their once normal routine. A few more months were actually necessary in order to get everything prepared and baby proofed again, and to thoroughly explain to Hope what exactly would come with the arrival of her new sibling.

“I wish the baby would come today. I love him already,” Hope claimed.

“Him?” Killian asked with an amused expression. Emma and Killian had decided not to find out the sex of the baby just yet, planning to do what they’d done with Hope and to be surprised instead.

“My baby brother,” Hope stated matter-of-factly.

“You know, Hope, it could be a baby brother. But it also could be a baby sister. You’d love the baby no matter what though, right?” Killian asked, smiling as he brushed away a bit of flour from his daughter’s cheek.

“Yes. But he’s not a baby sister. He’s a brother. Maybe the next baby can be a sister, but not this one.”

Killian had to wonder then in the face of his daughter’s sureness if this weren’t one of those moments when Hope’s magical abilities were manifesting again. Her being so young made it hard to tell, but if there was one thing Killian knew it was not to bet against the women in this family. If they were certain they were right, it wasn’t Killian’s place to question them. Not without definitive proof.

“Well I guess we’ll just see then won’t we?”

“Yes, sir,” Hope gave a mock salute and Killian laughed, fluffing up her curly hair as he did and then letting her lead through the rest of what she felt the morning needed.

For the next half an hour, Killian kept Hope entertained and managed to finish the breakfast spread for the three of them. They still set a forth place though, for Hope always wanted Henry to have a spot, even if he was busy at school for the time being. It was a sweet gesture, as was her desire to give her mother one of the roses from the bushes outside. Killian helped his daughter remove it from the greenery, careful to remove all of the thorns and then watched as Hope touched it with the tips of her fingers and shifted the color of the petals from pink to yellow. It still amazed Killian what his daughter was capable of at so young an age, but he made sure to smile and encourage her gift since it was used sparingly and in the hopes of making Emma happy.

“Now it’s like the sun,” Hope said excitedly. “And Mommy’s hair.”

“Aye love. That it is.”

“Look at all of this,” Emma’s voice came from the doorway and instantly Hope was off, bounding towards Emma at a sprint and then barely stopping in time when she remembered the baby. Her little hand came out to pat on Emma’s stomach lightly before she wrapped herself in a hug around Emma.

“Good morning Mommy! Good morning brother!” Emma hugged Hope tight and made eye contact with Killian.

“Brother?” She mouthed his way and Killian shrugged, pulling out her seat and placing a light kiss to her cheek.

“Just go with it, Swan,” Killian murmured and his wife instantly smiled again, falling into Hope’s surmises on the coming day and her dreams the night before.

Their daughter was a definite talker, giving even her grandmother a run for her money, but both Emma and Killian loved that about Hope. Even at this age it was apparent that their little lass was getting something neither of them ever had – a steady stream of love from two parents who were present and nurturing. It felt like undoing a great wrong, and for Killian and Emma it was the most important work they’d ever done. Forget finding passage out of the Underworld or defeating the forces of evil that came and went; this was the hard stuff, and yet still the most rewarding.

Just when breakfast was wrapping up, a knock sounded at the door, and on the other side were Emma’s parents and her siblings, hoping for a chance that the whole family could go to the park. Hope was thrilled at the prospect, begging and wishing for the opportunity to go, and since Emma and Killian were wrapped snugly around her finger, they caved instantly, planning out a day away that would no doubt be exhausting and lovely all at once.

“You know a trip to the park means Hope will be out for a while during nap time today,” Emma whispered when they were just about to leave and Killian swallowed hard.

“Aye. Any thoughts on how we might make use of all that free time?” Emma’s seductive smile shot through him, leaving a dull ache low in his gut.

“I’ve got a couple ideas, and I think you’ll be very impressed,” she whispered.

“Sounds like a date then,” Killian countered and Emma laughed, taking the blanket he’d grabbed in her arms.

“I’ll be the one wearing your ring.”

“Damn right you will,” Killian growled low before kissing Emma, unable to hold back.

“Daddy! It’s time to go. No more kissing,” Hope cried from across the room.

“To be continued then,” Killian whispered, taking Emma’s hand in his.

“I certainly hope so.” And luckily for both of them, they got exactly what they wanted, and it was just one tiny moment in the scheme of a very happy, and loving life together.

………..

When the sun had left and the winter came And the sky fall could only bring the rain I sat in darkness, all broken hearted I couldn't find a day I didn't feel alone I never meant to cry, started losing hope But somehow baby, you broke through and saved me

You're an angel, tell me you're never leaving 'Cause you're the first thing I know I can believe in

You're holy, holy, holy, holy I'm high on loving you, high on loving you You're holy, holy, holy, holy I'm high on loving you, high on loving you

You made the brightest days from the darkest nights You're the river bank where I was baptized Cleanse all the demons That were killing my freedom Let me lay you down, give me to ya Get you singing babe, hallelujah We'll be touching, we'll be touching heaven

You're an angel, tell me you're never leaving 'Cause you're the first thing I know I can believe in

You're holy, holy, holy, holy I'm high on loving you, high on loving you You're holy, holy, holy, holy I'm high on loving you, high on loving you

I don't need the stars 'cause you shine for me Like fire in my veins, you're my ecstasy You're my ecstasy

You're holy, holy, holy, holy I'm high on loving you, high on loving you You're holy, holy, holy, holy I'm high on loving you, high on loving you

You're the healing hands where it used to hurt You're my saving grace, you're my kind of church

You're holy

Post-Note: Hey all! So I just want to assure those of you who have requested baby fluff that this is not the only chapter of this kind I will be writing. Some of you had different visions for what a baby chapter would look like, and I plan to get to all of them (because CS baby fluff is essentially what I live for). Just be a little patient with me because I have so many wonderful, thoughtful readers and a list of more than 20 songs/prompts I am still working on for this series. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed and that it brightened your days a little bit. Thanks so much for reading!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24, Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31, Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38, Part 39, Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45, Part 46, Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53, Part 54, Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60, Part 61, Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68, Part 69, Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75, Part 76, Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83, Part 84, Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90, Part 91, Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98, Part 99, Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103, Part 104, Part 105, Part 106, Part 107, Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112, Part 113, Part 114, Part 115, Part 116, Part 117, Part 118, Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123, Part 124, Part 125, Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129, Part 130, Part 131