#this is my annoying ''check your privilege'' moment

[statisticalcats2]

I feel like a lot of Americans truly do not understand how horrible this country has been before because they weren't alive at the time.

[vamptarot]

Ten Things That Are F### Cool About You | PAC

pile one pile two pile three

how to choose a pile . . . choose which picture you are most drawn to or close your eyes, breath and read the one your eyes land on! ᡣ𐭩

— ⭑.ᐟ today I saw a pick a card that not only pissed me off but also disgusted me due to how mean the reader was in every single pile. I checked. their egoistic approach annoyed me. instead of spreading hate, I wanted to remind you why you are an awesome person. not proof read.

pile one : - cold drink !

𐙚 : the high priestess, eight of wands, nine of wands reversed, death

bottom of the deck: five of wands

♡ ⢷ why you are so cool

1. You always research about a topic before talking about it! I think this is very cool because a lot of people spread misinformation without even knowing it and that’s why fake fun facts exist. You are not like that though! You feel a sense of responsibility and thirst for knowledge, which in itself makes you a reliable person. - and source! -

2. You protect those who cannot stand up for themselves and I think that is very cool! Usually, you might have a hard time standing up for yourself but if it’s someone more vulnerable than you then you will give your all. You will raise your voice, yell, make valid arguments and even fight if necessary. - This differs person to person but the imaginary I am getting is protecting children, animals, women and young teens (from creeps to be exact) -

3. You work on yourself and enter new beginnings even if it’s scary at times, it can be hard and scary but that doesn’t make you back off from actually trying your best to become someone that you can be proud of. There is always a sense of hope within you that is very admirable.

4. You know how to keep privacy! A lot of people don’t, and don’t value it as much as they should. Having a healthy boundary with privacy is a privilege not many realise they have.. also, if you happen to share an intimate moment with someone you don’t run your mouth but rather treasure it as a memory as a form of respect.

5. Some people in this pile have temper issues, obviously, don’t take it if that doesn’t apply to you but I am seeing that for those of you who can resonate with that you are doing a really good job keeping it under control. You are not a hot headed person.

6. You are very experimental with looks! I do think this makes you a very beautiful person, because there are several things that suit you and look cool on you. If you like taking pictures I hope you know that you look beautiful and gorgeous in each one of them, one day you will look back at them with a smile even if you didn’t like that one thing because at least you gave it a try.

7. Zero judgment detected in your soul. Seriously, you could be the sort of person that never freaks out at people’s ‘hear me out’s but rather just go ‘yep, I get why you are into that’ even though you have no attraction to whatever character or person they said. You get their point, it’s just not one that you will make.

8. My fashion babies in this pile are slaying each and every time! You could take dressing fashionable in a seasonal manner mildly seriously. You don’t expect everyone to do it, but it’s most definitely something you take a lot of joy in. It’s really cool, your style is a 10/10. - Yes, even if you change it up often. -

9. Even if you are anxious you can do things so incredibly well. You remind me of a video I once saw of a girl with anxiety making a phone call, her hands were shaking uncontrollably the whole time but she didn’t stop being polite and kind. I think that’s you. Even in moments of being scared, you are kind to people.

10. You have such a beautiful voice. I mean your singing voice, but if you are not confident in that this could of course mean your regular speaking voice too. There is something comforting and yet bittersweet about your voice. It makes people feel home at times when they are sad.

— ✮⋆˙ die with a smile - bruno mars & lady gaga , ‘good luck babe’, 2003 , enha photoshoots , guitar injuries (from the string breaking) , white dahlias , glitter videos (those 2021 ones) , ‘good luck, charlie!’ , wavy hair , not well known ethnicity , taurus , capricorn , pisces

that’s all my beautiful pile one! I do think you happen to be very shy, but I do hope that you know that you genuinely have so much love to offer. there is much more to you than what you show the world, but I think you already know that. thank you for reading

paid readings

pile two : - peace sign ! ✌🏻

𐙚 : page of pentacles, eight of swords reversed, queen of wands, five of pentacles reversed, page of cups reversed, the star reversed

bottom of the deck: judgement

♡ ⢷ why you are so cool

1. YOU THINK YOU ARE SO COOL AND MYSTERIOUS BUT YOUR HEART IS FULL OF LOVE AND KINDNESS 🫵🏻 YOU TREASURE YOUR LOVED ONES AND WOULD RATHER SACRIFICE YOURSELF THAN TO EVER SEE THEM SUFFER !!YOU ARE SENSITIVE AND LOVABLE !!!!!!!!!

2. After all that you have went through you are still here and you are still standing. All that happened but rather than it destroying you completely or bringing you down you allowed yourself to heal and I am very proud of you for that.

3. Your judgement of people are very great! Of course if you don’t like someone of have mean thoughts of them you will keep it to yourself in order to not upset anyone, but you are still really good at telling their personality by their behaviour. Other people might not know but you do.

4. You are a secret little romantic! I bet it makes you shy to express your emotions outward and so freely. Truth to be told, you want to experience so much romantic things and wish to think of them without experiencing negative emotions. This makes you cool because even though you have a hard time with it, you know it’s a part of you and accept it.

5. You are so kind to animals, take care of them and most people reading this pile have a pet too. I think animals are just naturally drawn to you regardless of what they are. - as in pet, stray or wild animal. - It’s like they know they can be safe with you.

6. ‘You can slap a bitch if you need to’. Literally, that’s what I heard.. and I think most people here take pride in it too right? Just make sure to not get into unnecessary fights. It’s not what makes you cool though. It’s that you keep to your word. If you say you are gonna do it, you really will.

7. A lot of you find comfort in the stars and moon. In an aesthetic sense, but also there is a deep sense of appreciation for them that not many people have. They just put you in awe. If you are into astrology you have such a deep and profound understanding of it. One that not many people have.

8. Honestly, your view of life is sort of clouded and not completely “whole” but that’s alright. Exactly because day by day you do your best to learn and never turn an opportunity to see life from a wider perspective down, even if you might have done this in the past.

9. You are sooo talented, and you don’t even realise that. You are amazing in creating things; anything that is physical. This is especially true if you like jewellery, as I think designing or just making your own craft is something that you would/could enjoy doing if you put your own unique twist into it. It’s just something that makes you feel alive.

10. You are so confident! Even if you might not always feel like it, on the outside you always appear confident and aware of your surroundings. Someone composed who wants to present themselves in the best way possible. - You probably pay a lot of attention to your posture. -

— ✮⋆˙ ‘I don’t even wanna do this anymore’ , homework from 1 am ‘til 4am , 9 to 5 , jean purses ? , ditto - new jeans , a bent photocard (of whoever) , 7 - JK , stars , something about the four seasons ? , fave colour = red , ‘letta’ , cappuccino & frappuchino , friendly banter , 111 , 1212 , 2011 , sagittarius , aries , leo

i am sorry for yelling at you at the first point my pile 2 but some younger people in this pile - esp teenagers - like to put on a mean girl persona when that’s not them at all. what’s the point of that? you can’t please people with someone you are not. I sincerely wish that’s something you will remember my sweethearts. thank you for reading

paid readings

pile three : - megaphone !

𐙚 : three of wands, six of swords, knight of pentacles, justice, king of swords, the lovers

bottom of the deck: five of pentacles reversed

♡ ⢷ why you are so cool

1. You know when to walk away from a situation, which is unironically awesome. Like sure this could be considered a negative trait but you aren’t toxic with it. You just simply know your worth.

2. You have a person you are in love with for several years now right? At least, most people in this pile do. You have unwavering loyalty and love in your heart that no one can take away from you, no matter what. I think that’s very cool.

3. You treat children really well! Which should be a given, but many people are way more mean and cruel hearted than what children should deserve. After all, they are humans too and fragile ones at that. You are very responsible and a safe space for them. I wholeheartedly believe that’s cool.

4. When you call people out, you do so with evidence. I do like that a lot, you don’t just accuse people but rather keep collected and calm even if you are angry or despise the situation that you were put into.

5. Did you ever take a look at your side profile? You are quite ethereal, you have such an unique beauty to you. I do also believe that you look beautiful in your home country’s traditional clothing style:

6. You are stubborn, but not in a sense of annoying people or being selfishly caught up in your desires. This is a stubbornness that is found in people with leader like qualities, that people can rely on. You are stubborn in a sense of wanting to create a better future for yourself and those around you who you deem to deserve it. - bc let’s face it, some humans suck. -

7. I am sorry if this sounds weird, but your hand is always occupied with something. You are a very busy person, even if you might not believe so. You gotta do this, and you gotta do that. You have many interests, hobbies and responsibilities too. Yet you manage to juggle them so well, it’s hard to guess when you are stressed out.

8. Whenever you are around you light up people’s day and mood. You are such a sunshine child, people love to have you around. Even if you believe that’s not the case, people do appreciate you a lot more than you realise.

9. If you have a love for photography I hope that you know that you have a beautiful talent. You are amazing at taking pictures, making them pretty and seeing the beauty in every single little thing even if other people might not be able to do so.

10. You are really good with finances and saving up despite the anxiety it causes you. Give yourself a pat on the back because that is not something many people are able to truly say about themselves. Many people in this pile were raised in a way to appreciate money but not let it consume you, which I think you nailed pretty good!

— ✮⋆˙ somewhere over the rainbow - israel kamakawiwo’ole , early 00s & 10s hawaii , crying at night , daydreaming for hours , ‘thank goodness ‘ , my little pony , new hyper fixation , heat , ten to five , hair being washed by someone else , flamingos , pimples ? , papaya - sorry, ik gross to mention right after , pink skincare bottles , 555 , juliet , lucifer , 10th house

my dearest little lamb your energy was the calmest, sweetest and most welcoming out of all the piles. I am truly happy that you decided to read my pac / participate in it. it was truly a pleasant experience to channel for you 🫶🏻 thank you for reading

paid readings

[wileys-russo]

ausenal ‘can you just not sit still?’ travelling to London

steph catley, caitlin foord, kyra cooney-cross

"one two three four, i declare a thumb war!" you chanted, hand locked with kyras as the two of you grunted and struggled. "oh my god." steph mumbled, massaging her temples as the four of you sat in dubai airport for your layover.

"how the fuck are the two of you not tired? you did not shut up or sleep that entire flight!" caitlin groaned from beside her, head resting on her fist as you and kyra ignored them.

"winner!" you screamed happily, jumping on top of the brunette. "ow! steph." you scowled as the defender harshly smacked the back of your calf. "its four thirty in the morning here and people are clearly trying to rest. shut up!" the girl warned sternly nodding to a few other passengers curled up in chairs not far from you.

"that doesn't count we're on aussie time!" kyra slung her arm around you with a scoff. "yeah! and on aussie times its...eleven thirty seven in the morning." you checked your phone and grinned, steph only letting out a deep sigh.

"how much longer till we board?" she mumbled to caitlin. "four and a half hours." the striker answered with a sigh of her own. "we could always drug them, i'm sure theres a pharmacy somewhere in here." steph muttered, both girls seeming to contemplate the idea for a moment before abandoning it with a shake of their heads.

"oh i have cards! lets play." you remembered, swinging your backpack off and rummaging through before you found them, kyra sitting cross legged on the floor beside you.

"come on!" you pinched stephs ankle as she jolted awake and shot you a glare. "works best with four people." you shook the packet at her as kyra had successfully harassed caitlin into playing.

"one game, thats it."

though with all four of your competitive tendencies kicking in, one game quickly became five, and then ten. steph tapping out as they announced your connecting flight was delayed a further three and a half hours due to an engine issue.

"oh you've gotta be fucking kidding." caitlin groaned, you and kyra quite unbothered as you packed away the cards. "ky and i are gonna go find food." you dropped your backpack on top of steph who grunted and pushed it off with an annoyed huff, the two of you racing off before she could say another word.

"do you reckon they accept aussie dollars?" kyra realised as the two of you stood in front of a vending machine, all of the food kiosks closed for another hour due to the time. "no but they should accept this." you grinned plucking your debit card out of your pocket.

"what! i thought steph took yours? caitlins got mine." kyra groaned, the two of you having had your 'pocket money' privileges revoked after you'd decided to buy out basically the entire vending machine at camp, most of which was shared with harper and harley and caused a sugar high chaos.

"sticky fingers ky, sticky fingers." you smirked, having swiped it out of stephs wallet when she was distracted. "oh like in home alone! the sticky bandits." kyra beamed, having admitted to never having seen the movie you'd forced her to watch a whole stack of christmas films over camp.

"see! and you thought you didn't need a christmas movie education."

"jesus christ we're here for a few more hours not a few days!" caitlin shook her head as you and kyra returned, arms laden with all sorts of treats both sweet and savory. "you are not eating anything that has sugar in it before the flight, over my dead body." steph warned sternly, making quick work to try and snatch everything she deemed a danger.

little did they know you and kyra had assumed this would be the case, the majority of the sweet treats hidden away in pockets, kyras bum bag or on your persons.

"do we stop them?" caitlin sighed, wedged into the chair beside steph as you and kyra took off again to explore. "no, if they run off their energy now maybe they'll actually sleep this next flight." steph pointed out, hopeful but realistic that likely wouldn't happen.

so they left the two of you to it, grateful you'd finally left them be much as they worried what the two of you were up to, the last thing they needed was to have to bail you out of trouble with security in another country let alone in dubai.

"where the hell are they? the flight boards in five minutes!" steph stressed, trying both of your phones again which rang out. those five minutes passed, then another ten, and with seconds to spare before they considered just leaving the two of you behind suddenly you and kyra skidded around the corner into view.

"sorry! we got lost and then kyra-" you started to explain but with a murderous look from both your older team mates you fell silent, accepting your bag which was shoved into your chest and silently filing onto the plane after them.

"no! you two are being separated." steph warned as you tried to sit beside kyra, frowning and moving the seat behind so you were next to steph instead.

getting through takeoff both you and kyra were quiet, steph and caitlin both praying that meant you had indeed tired yourselves out. but as the seatbelt sign went off and steph had just started to doze off she heard you moving about, tossing and turning and huffing.

"can you just not sit still?" the defender groaned tiredly, head turning to shoot you a look as you sent her a sheepish smile. "i'm not tired!" you shrugged honestly. "watch a movie or something then, just be quiet. please!" the older girl sighed deeply as you nodded.

it seemed to have worked as steph began to doze off, but the very obvious opening of a packet of something caused her to shoot back up, catching you in the act of shoving a chocolate bar in your mouth.

"give it." steph warned, holding her hand out as you sighed and handed it over. "all of them." the girl shot you a firm look as you deflated and grabbed out the bag, watching with a broken heart as steph hid them away in her own luggage.

"you know steffy you are the worst travel buddy ever." "funny, could say the exact same about you kid. now be quiet, please!"

[sugarandspicewriting]

Hihi!! I saw that you're taking requests? Do you think you could cook up some headcanons for your choice of DC characters with a s/o that really loves to do extravagant makeup? Thank you 🫶

Super Graphic Ultra Modern Girl Like Me

Summary: DC characters (Starfire, Wonderwoman, and Jason) react to your extravagant makeup

Warnings: Mentions of people making fun of you

Starfire (Koriand'r)

I imagine there are probably some kind of cosmetic routines on Tamaran, but the standards of beauty are different.

I think she would be interested to see what you do and why. She doesn’t judge how extravagant your makeup is, because her frame reference is skewed. All makeup seems extravagant to her

I do think she’d be horrified by fake lashes at first if that’s something you do.

“What are you doing, my star?” 

“I’m putting glue on a fake lash strip to put on my eyes!”

“You… glue fake lashes on your eyes? But you already have eyelashes? How do you get them off?”

“I just rip them off-”

“What?!?”

Seriously we never talk about how crazy fake lashes are.

If you let her, she’d want to watch you do your routine and grill you on what you’re doing and why. It might feel a little weird doing your makeup and she’s just sitting there like :0

Don’t mind her, she just loves you.

Might make you feel bad about how little you know.

“So this liquid goes on your lips? What ingredients are in it? Is it safe to consume?”

Oof. Now I feel stupid.

After careful studying, she’ll ask if she can try

Let her do your makeup for you. A 6 feet tall lady pulling you into her lap and doing your graphic eyeliner under your instruction. Yes. Call me Homotron 3000.

Honestly it might be a little rough the first time but that just gives her an excuse to do it again

She will absolutely defend your makeup if someone comments on it. She considers what you do to be an art worth studying. 

Scary dog gf privileges.

WonderWoman (Diana) 

Fresh from Themyscira Diana might be similar to Starfire.

They didn’t have makeup, but they probably had morning grooming routines. She would have similar reservations about fake lashes and ingredients. 

But if we’re talking about a Diana that has been here a while and is familiar with Earth culture, she’s probably more concerned about your why.

She questions why you do your makeup in this way.

But not in a judgemental way.

“Why is it that you do such exaggerated makeup? It is not how others do it?” 

“I like how it looks”

“I see. It is pretty”

And then she’d go back to whatever she was doing.

She would find your makeup amusing.She finds a lot of what humans do amusing.

Like sorry we can’t all be blessed with beauty by the gods. Damn.

She would still defend your choices though.

If someone were to comment on it in a negative way with her around, all she’d have to do is give them a look and they’d stop. 

Scary dog gf privileges part 2

Red Hood (Jason Todd)

Scary dog bf privileges but he’s actually going to bite people

Biting is more of a Damian thing but he will defend you.

Feminist king balances the “You look beautiful without makeup” and “I think your makeup is so cool” without being annoying. How does he do it?

He is friends with Artemis and Donna so he’s familiar with most of what you're doing. 

He enjoys sitting with you while you do your makeup. His life has been so chaotic that little moments of calm and domesticity mean a lot to him. He might watch you and chat, but he might sit quietly and read a book or check his phone and enjoy the comfortable silence between you.

If you ask nicely he’ll read to you

If someone were to insult you for what you do he would not let that slide.

He’s not going to immediately escalate it to violence; mostly because he doesn’t need to.

He can do that teacher thing where he can just look at someone and they act right.

Because he’s over 6 ft and 200 pounds. It’s giving Bruce energy a little bit but don’t tell him that.

[lxvebun]

Sleepy mornings with Suguru brainrot😩🩷

Notes: fics are a little less edited and checked because I don't have access to my pc rn. So I hope it still looks okay!

Content: Suguru x gender neutral reader. Sickeningly sweet morning fluff! Kissing. Consensual kisses while asleep/half asleep. Eng is not my first language. Not entirely proofread lmk if there are any annoying mistakes!

Suguru is an early riser. He finds comfort in getting up at dawn. birds softly chirping their morning song and air crisp and fresh, gently swaying the curtains as the sunlight filters through . The moment the star clustered dark blue sky begins to show orange and golden streaks of sunlight, he's out of bed and running about doing household chores that really can wait until later but he insists on doing now.

Now while the air still feels fresh, now that it's early enough to set the tone for the day. His heart beats a little easier knowing everything is taken care of. Knowing you are taken care of. Even in the smallest of ways like cleaning up last nights dishes so you awake to a nice and clean kitchen, or putting the throw blanket into the dryer so it's nice and toasty for when you eventually stumble out of the safety and warmth of your bed to face the morning breezes coming through the kitchen window

He doesn't enter the bedroom again other than occasionally peeking his head through the crack of the door when he hears you move. Busy wiping down the kitchen counters or watering the flowers. footsteps coming through in your dreams.

All while your sleepy self is missing his body warmth, the rise of his chest against your back and the comforting weight of his arms around your waist. You're not cold, he made sure of that by tucking you in just a little more before leaving the bed. Leaving behind a constellation of kisses to your warm cheeks and sleep ridden eyelids, airy chuckles floating around the room as you whine for him to stay just for 5 more minutes. His Kisses are laced with tenderness and adoration intertwined with silent prayers soothing you back to sleep. you prefer his warmth over the cozyness of the blankets, but in your sleepy haze you'll settle for it for now.

This goes on until it's around the time you usually get out of bed, something his own internal clock has memorized for you as well.

Only then he'll crawl back in bed with you, breakfast ready to be prepared in the kitchen, a mug of hot tea with honey on your nightstand, words of affection and sickeningly sweet kisses resting on his lips and arms wide open for you to crawl into<3

Oh to have the privilege of seeing sleepy suguru early in the morning😩🩷

[marksmelodies]

give it a rest

parings: idol x fem! reader

genre: angst/fluff

warnings: Cursing, name calling, kisses and cuddling

no proofread

————————————————————————————————————

You lay in bed trying to focus on the movie playing across the screen in yours and Marks shared apartment, you couldn’t help but to yearn for Mark to join you in bed while watching the movie together.Something as casual as cuddling is scarce in your relationship.

Although you two live together it’s rare for you and him to see each other more than a quick “hi” or “bye” whilst you both are in a rush going about your own days. it’s not that you don’t understand, you’re quite the opposite. You know how busy Mark is on a day to day basis, With promoting the dream comeback that just happened on top of preparing for the nct 2023 comeback and the 127 comeback Mark had been extremely busy and with that comes lots of stress as well. You understood what you signed up for when you both agreed to get together, you knew it wouldn’t be a “normal” relationship, lots of it would be spent long distance, even if he’s in the same city as you, living in the same apartment as you, sharing the same bed as you,you don’t get the privilege to see him everyday and that was okay with you… at least it was initially

You and Mark have been together for a little over 3 years, it hasn’t always been smooth sailing but you two were good at working through problems that occurred throughout your relationship However recently you’ve felt extremely distant from him not only physically but mentally, you feel as if you’re worlds away from him, even if you both are in the same room. As you watch the tv while scrolling through your phone you look at the time that reads 12:30am you get the urge to check up on mark who’s been shut in the makeshift office that you and him made out of what was once a spare room ever since he got home from practice. you slowly tip toe to the door slightly knocking on it before you enter,Mark turns around and shoots you a tired smile, you approach his slouched body and wrap your arms around his shoulders while kissing the side of his neck

“come to bed with me it’s getting late” you say in a soft tone

“ in a bit babe i still have work to do” he replies and continues back to work

“ the work can wait mark you’ve been in here for hours, did you even eat dinner?” you ask

“ mhm” he mumbles and places is headphones back on both his ears,you stand there for a moment wondering if he has anything more to say to you than just a grunt of acknowledgment,you huff as walk out of the room quite annoyed at your boyfriend. an hour passes by and mark has still yet to move from his chair,you’re getting restless, you feel your eyes drooping but you don’t want to go to sleep unless mark is right beside you, alas you get up again walking to the office and opening the door,he’s in the same exact position he was in when you left,you walk over to him, it takes him a minute to realize you’re standing there.

“ geez babe i didn’t hear you come in” he says chuckling

you stand there straight faced with your arms crossed

“ mark im tired please let’s go to bed” you say practically begging

marks demeanor changed as he straightens his body

“ y/n, i already told you i still have work to do” he says quite harshly

“ you said that an hour ago, how long are you going to be in here working? you need to get sleep too” you say

“ im grown enough to make my own decisions y/n i don’t need you scolding me like your my mother” he snaps, you scoff and roll your eyes

“ whatever mark im going to sleep” you say

“night” he responds

as you walk out of the room you whisper under your breath and slightly slam the door making your way back to the bedroom with tears welling up in your eyes, you’re laying in bed cold, uncomfortable and really in need of a hug right now,the fact that you seemed totally unimportant to your boyfriend really hurt your heart, you understood that his work was important but was it more important than you? as you cried and cried into the pillow eventually you stoped only because there were no tears left to cry. as much as you want to go to sleep you can’t you stay in bed tossing and turning until you came to the conclusion that you arent going to fall asleep anytime soon,you wish on everything that you could be an independent girlfriend who could have no problem doing things on her own, but that just isn’t you, you are dependent on mark for many things whether you realize it or not…

making your way to mark for the third time you enter the room, this time you aren’t angry or frustrated you’re just in need of your man and thats exactly what you are going to get,walking up to his chair you slowly move it out a little bit so that you can get in between him and the desk, he just stares at you while you crawl into his lap wrapping your arms and legs around him burring your head into the crook of his neck.

“ i’m sorry, i just miss you” you say as you start to cry again

mark finally realizes where he went wrong

“ shh babygirl, i should be the one apologizing, i got so caught up with these comebacks i forgot to give you any of my attention lately, i’m so so sorry” he says as he hugs you tightly

“ let’s go to bed sweet girl” he says and gets up from his chair making his way to the bedroom while holding you,he sets you in bed while he quickly gets ready to sleep,he joins you in bed instantly engulfing you in a big hug and kissing your face all over

“ i’m sorry babe i’ll try harder to spend more time with you” he says

“ it’s okay i get that you’re extremely busy but i want you to know that i’m here for you, i don’t want to be left in the dark” you reply

“ i love you so much, thank you for always being so supportive and understanding”

“i love you too babe, goodnight”

“goodnight princess”

[gowns]

i have made a very funny journey w/ autism which is like...

growing up, mom always tells me she thinks i'm autistic or (90s euphemism pop psychology thing) that i have "einstein syndrome"

and yet she never gets me tested

various accommodations are made for me in school - i am clearly "smart" but also kinda just "doing my own thing" and the teachers are either annoyed but give in to my mom browbeating them, or give me good grades for thinking outside of the box

(various cycles of hyperfixations and limerence and burn out later)

one of my best friends realizes they are autistic and we see the world the same way so we both go "hmm" about that for a while

i maintain i couldn't possibly be autistic because i have worked with high-needs autistic people* *i also tend to be very adept at working with autistic people

i notice that my older child (whose personality is identical to mine as a kid) seems to show signs of high functioning autism

eventually read devon price and other books and take the tests and etc and i'm like hmm ok i guess i have autism

by this point i am so keenly Aware that i am Neurodivergent and maybe that's why i seem to operate in a different reality than a lot of other people, that it seems hard to remember a time when i thought i was "normal" and trying hard to be "normal"

like now i'm just owning being an odd duck and needing my funny little ways of recharging and having fun

and now i find i'm actually a bit annoyed at various influencers who talk about discovering that they have autism because sometimes they don't want to go to parties or w/e and i'm like. "hmm. but is this the same flavor as the thing i have? idk what kind you have but i'm clearly on another level of it."

(very silly, i went to gatekeeping one side of the gate to gatekeeping on the other side of the gate. hahaha.)

anyway, i try not to be judgmental, it's just interesting that autism and adhd are en vogue right now. #relateable.

i still maintain that the bigger problem is Society. like, having tiny computers in our pockets combined w/ unreasonable employers who want you to be Focused on a Task for 8 hours are definitely doing things to our brains and making us feel deficient if we can't do Productive things. and then the pings. ping. ping. ping. check this. do that. ping. ping. ping.

and then it's like -- when people figure they must be neurodivergent because they take a moment to pause and dip out of the constant noise and they're like whoa i feel better for a moment -- well of course, taking a nap in the middle of the day feels good. it feels good to spend some time alone and in solitude when most of your day is responding to PINGS. and guess what, microdosing meth feels good, weed feels good, looking at wikipedia or reddit instead of doing work feels good, etc etc. the fact that adderall feels good =/= your brain works "different" or is "defective" in some way.

ok. you're probably different. sure.

it's like the same basic question of literature, theatre, art, of the last 400-odd-years, what is a human, what makes me tick, why do i feel a separation between me and others, what is that other person even thinking, why are we both looking at each other like "you're insane"? why are the motivations and inner workings of this other person so inscrutable, and mine are so comfortable and infinitely knowable?

--

however. all that being said. i think it may eventually come to a point where more people are considered neurodivergent than neurotypical, and hopefully, you would think, that would mean more accommodations, which would mean society as a whole would be more accommodating towards disability.

but i fear that on the other end, it may end up in situation where otherwise-typical people with an immense amount of privilege (e.g. average white americans) figure out how to weaponize incompetence (so to speak) and automate more labor away from them and giving the global lower classes more grunt work to shoulder. all while not acknowledging the true source of that "i don't belong" feeling ... and creating more alienation ... hmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMM

--

all that being said, it's fun to share autistic memes with friends

[kasagia]

Bring me a dream pt. 3

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova/general Kirigan x fem! sun summoner! reader

Summary: Aleksander (unwillingly) takes you to the border with Fjerdans. Along the way, you spend more and more time together, but can the two of you forget your differences and be as close as you were in the past again?

Wairning(s): blood, fight, reader and Aleksander circle around each other like a dog around a hedgehog, violence, and so on, TEXT NOT CHECKED, I hope it's good

Word count: 6-8k idk 😅

Taglist: @aoi-targaryen @morrigan-crowmwell @louderfortheback @ludarklina-fan-spot @sayumiht @budugu @howibecameabadassbitch @flostvs1508 @intothesoul

~•♤♤♤•~ Part 1 ~•♤♤♤•~ Part 2 ~•♤♤♤•~ Aleksander Morozova's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~

And all I know is this could either break my heart or bring it back to life...

Taylor Swift - Electric Touch

"Absolutely not." he says firmly as he flips over the stacks of papers on his war table.

"Absolutely yes!" you reply, placing your hand on the pile of papers he was flipping through. His attention is immediately turned to you and you smirk.

"Y/N you are not going with me." he talks to you like to a little kid. You absolutely do not like the commanding tone of his voice. You won't let him tell you what to do.

"I won't be with you, I will be behind you." you reply, teasing him. You bravely endure his stern gaze, not letting him intimidate you with those dark eyes.

"Y/N." he sighs irritably and rubs his eyes with his hand. "You're not going there."

"You won't change my mind." you say sweetly, and turn on your heel to leave the room. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Aleksander roll his eyes. His sigh only widens the smug smirk on your face.

"Y/N Y/L/N."

"That's not mine surname." you say over your shoulder as you approach the door.

Aleksander circles the war table with astonishing speed and blocks your way to the door. You raise an eyebrow at him.

"I've been having your name on my wrist for 500 years." he says, and the frown on his forehead only deepens as you continue to tease him. "I was looking at it. Night and day. For hundreds of years. I know your name, even if I didn't know that belong to you. It is the only thing that hasn't slipped my mind over the centuries." you shiver, analyzing his words for a moment. And your stupid and naive heart clings to that little note of tenderness hidden behind contempt and irritation.

You know that if you were just a regular Grisha, one of his soldiers, he would have scared you with his shadows or sent you to the fold a long time ago. Unfortunately for him, you were his soulmate and sun summoner. You were the safest and most privileged person in the whole, damn Ravka.

"Maybe I'm not your soulmate?" you ask, crossing your arms. You can tell from the look on his face that he's on the verge of a mental breakdown… or maybe he's just so annoyed and tired that he can no longer respond to your taunts.

"Y/N." he says sternly, giving you an appalling look.

"Aleksander." you reply, not flinching under his dark eyes as you shoot him a defiant look.

"I'm not joking."

"Me either."

You stand there in front of each other, both staring at the other, waiting to see which one of you will give in. Both too stubborn to back down and let the other win. If anyone walked into the war room right now, they would burst out laughing at their general fighting for stares with the sun summoner.

Finally, he sighs and shifts his gaze to the war table and all the maps, plans, reports, and wooden soldiers he has there. Like he can't look you in the eye as he voluntarily gives up his original plans.

"For you." the part of you, that still sees him as your nameless boy from ages ago, whispers.

"You will be next to me all the time." he speaks firmly, and you know better not to question his request this time (never in your life will you admit to voluntarily obeying his orders.)

"Good."

"You will not leave my sight." he adds, trying to either discourage you from leaving or somehow make sure you'll always be around him.

"Good."

"You will sleep in my tent." you give him a offended look. He just rolls his eyes at that and sigh irritated as he shift his gaze to you again. "Don't look at me like that. You will have your own bed."

"Fine." you sigh, realizing that you won't be able to get out of his sight… at least at the beginning of your journey to the Fjerdan border. "Do you have any other absurd demands you want me to fulfill?" you ask, crossing your arms, annoyed with the conditions he has set for you.

"They are not absurd. Thanks to them I will know that you are safe."

"So I can be only safe by your side?" you ask, resentful, ready to argue with him even though it's late and you've spent most of the night working on plans and reports anyway.

"No. You can't do anything stupid by my side." you snort seeing his mischievous, amused smirk.

"Very funny." you roll your eyes and bite your lip to keep from smiling when you see his smirk. He has other plans, however, and comes over to you, taking your chin gently in his hand and forcing you to look at him.

"I'm not kidding, Y/N. I can't afford to lose you from my sight… you're too important to… to all of us."

You watch him carefully as he strokes your cheek with his thumb. And you can't help but feel the familiar feeling of where his skin meets yours—the light inside you buzzing, wanting to come out. However, you now have too much control to let your power out again.

But that's not the feeling that bothers you the most.

His dark brown eyes are much more engaging than the heat that spreads up your cheek with the movement of his thumb. And if you were younger, more naive, and less experienced by so many disappointments, you'd lean forward and taste his soft, enticing lips as you were centuries ago.

But you're no longer the girl he used to know. So you pull away from him and clear your throat without looking him in the eye. You know you'd be lost if you gave in to his piercing, mesmerizing gaze any longer.

"So... I guess I shall go now. I need to get some sleep before the trip. You, too, so don't play with your wooden soldiers anymore, Aleks."

"For the last time I'm telling you, it's one of the creative ways to simulate a tactical operation."

"Of course, general. You're not playing like a little kid at the war table with wooden soldiers. How could I ever assume something like that?" he rolls his eyes at what are you laughing at. "Good night, Aleksander." you say with a gentle smile, pleased that you have achieved what you wanted.

"Good night, Y/N." he replies. His eyes are fixed on yours and his gaze is absent, as if he is still brooding in this moment of closeness between you two. Like he regretted not kissing you.

Or at least you want to think that.

You finally snap out of the trance his dark brown irises put you in and nod to him before turning around and walking out.

Closing the door behind you, you hear the upcoming steps of his heavy shoes. You know well that he stands on the other side. With unknown reasons, he does not open the door. He just stands there. And you do not know what directs him that he decided to approach the door.

Your heart is pounding like crazy when you're on the other side of a closed door, and the urge to go back there and sink greedily into his mouth is almost unstoppable... almost.

You shake your head and go to your chamber, leaving him alone at the door.

Alekdander stared at the door. His hand on the doorknob. He bit his lower lip, wondering what would happen if he opened them and took you in his arms just like he has done centuries ago...

Your receding footsteps snapped him out of his little fantasy. He couldn't think about it now. Whatever it was between you, it was in the past. Now you probably wouldn't appreciate his... soft side he had for you.

But he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he kissed you. If only he would do what he has longed for for ages and enclose you in his embrace and listen to your steady, comforting heartbeat which pushed away all his shadows and which was proof that he wasn't as terrifyingly and utterly alone as he had told himself all along.

He sighed long and hard. The cold around him and the shadows that once again took over the war room reminded him that your warmth and light had long ago ceased to be his reach. All he could do was watch from a distance. Like a sinner waiting for deliverance (which he will never get) from his little saint.

With the loss of your grandmother's necklace, your dreams turned into flashbacks of Aleksander's life, interspersed with occasional memories of your past encounters.

This night was no different from any other.

You ran through the forest knowing all too well what was about to happen.

It was one of those nights when the Drüskelle attacked the village of Grishas you were live in with your grandmother.

This time they had the courtesy not to burn down the "demon hatchery" but to stalk you like some fucking forest animals. You ran ahead, only glancing back from time to time.

You only had to run a few metres before you reached the safe place where your grandmother was supposed to be waiting for you. You thought back to your nameless companion. You wondered if your dark-eyed boy had found a shelter.

Halfway through, you began to notice riders approaching you. You had no choice. You had to fight them if you wanted to survive and reach the hideout without the bloodthirsty Grisha killers following you.

You looked around, making sure no one else was around you, and used your light to kill them.

Those you couldn't kill, at least you blinded them enough to fall off their horses. It gave you enough time to run away from them and, for a moment, to lose them in the thicket of the forest.

You didn't enjoy the peace for long.

The Drüskelle surrounded you rather quickly, attracted by your rare skills. Before you had time to look back, one of them threw a metal net at you.

You hissed in pain as you felt the protruding metal spikes digging into your skin. Just as you were about to summon all your light to blind them all, the clearing was plunged into total darkness.

You breathed a sigh of relief, lying on the ground and listening to the screams of suffering of your tormentors, who were slowly beginning to be swallowed up by the shadows. You didn't open your eyes as everything went quiet. You were too tired to move a finger and blood was still oozing from your wounds.

The weight of the metal mesh was lifted off you, and strong, familiar arms lifted you off the ground, placing you on someone's lap. You sighed at his scent and relaxed completely in his arms.

Your moment of calm lasted until you felt an extra pair of hands on you. You tensed in his arms and opened your eyes, panicked and ready to attack the young woman kneeling in front of you.

"Shh…it's okay, sunshine. You're safe." he whispered in your ear, still holding you close to his chest. "Luda is a healer. She will help you."

The woman nodded and smiled. "So you're his famous sunshine... I've heard a lot about you from him. He's been pining for you for months now. Even his mother is sick of him mentioning you all the time and missing you like some puppy in love." she teases as she puts her hands to your wounds. Only now do you notice that you have an arrow in your leg.

"Luda!" he hisses, scolding her. "This is not the time and place. We need to get out of here as fast as possible." The woman sticks her tongue out at him, but she speeds up her work anyway.

For a brief moment, you feel jealous of the bond they have with each other. But you choose to ignore it. It'll be better if he finds someone else. After all, you'll live forever, and he... will just be a wonderful memory. However, you can't help but turn gently in his arms and give him a mischievous glare as you ask, "Did you miss me?"

He freezes for a moment and stares at you intently, lingering on your lips for a moment too long for Luda and you not to notice. But only you hear his soft whisper and the warmth of his breath as he comes back to himself and confesses quietly, looking only at you, "Day and night."

You look at each other and you know that if you had a little more time, even the presence of his friend wouldn't stop him from leaning in and kissing your lips, which he's been longing for since you left him with that mischievous smirk and that lame nickname instead of your real name.

But the pounding of hooves pulls you out of that moment. Luda jumps up first after healing you and waits for the two of you to move on. He helps you get up. You thank the healer for healing you and are about to leave them to run alone when a strong hand on your wrist stops you.

Dark eyes stare at you menacingly, leaving you no room to argue. "You're not going anywhere. I need to keep an eye on you until it's safe." And with that, you are drawn along with him and Luda. The three of you keep running, traversing the forest as fast as you can.

He protects the three of you by creating shadows that hide you in the thicket of trees. Suddenly it starts raining. The three of you sigh with relief, knowing full well that the rain will destroy your tracks and you will lose them much faster. You only stop in some cave, all exhausted from running, when you stay quiet.

He pulls you close, wrapping his arms protectively around you. And despite you don't want to admit it, you know there's nowhere as safe as here in his arms.

You feel his heart racing in his chest and pounding like crazy. You lean against him more, causing him to rest his cheek against your head. His nose brushes your cheek lightly, making you shiver and blush slightly.

The bastard smiles for a moment, still listening to see if anyone is approaching you. Luda gives you two a meaningful look. You ignore her and spin in the arms of the shadow summoner.

"I... I think I will go now."

"Absolutely not." he protests and reaches out to grab your wrist to make sure you don't stray too far from him. You roll your eyes at him and sigh in annoyance.

"My grandmother is waiting for me. I was meant to join her ages ago. She must be worried."

"Then he will escort you there." Luda speaks up, gaining both of our attention. "Don't look at me like that; you'll panic until you see her again, and the saints know when that will be. Please, for my sanity and everyone around him, let him."

We both blushed, looking awkwardly at each other. Neither is ready to look the other in the eye or initiate a cave exit. Luda sighs and pushes us out of our hiding place.

You start walking, and he faithfully follows you, keeping a close eye on the terrain. The silence between you is heavy. You both know very well that you may not meet again, being on the run all the time and escaping the attention of dangerous, hostile people. At some point, you reach a crossroads where you decide to say goodbye to him. Your grandmother's safe place is in sight.

"So… I guess that's it." you say when you stand in front of each other.

"Yes... I guess it is." he says, looking at you absently, thoughtfully. His tone of voice is… sad, regretful that you two just got back together and you're already walking away from him.

"I.. um... I'm not good at goodbyes." you speak awkwardly, not knowing what to say or do. He smiles tenderly, seeing you so lost for the first time.

"Neither am I." he admits, but his posture and gaze convey more composure and confidence than you currently have.

However, you both know what you really want right now.

You stare at each other for a moment longer before moving towards each other and connecting your lips in a long-awaited kiss. You pull him closer by the lapels of his coat, and he entangles his hands in your hair, preventing you from moving away from him. You don't want to. You cling to him, afraid that he will disappear in a moment, catching the last moments you can spend with him before returning to the brutal reality where you can't be together.

You pull away from each other only because you're both out of air. But you don't pull away from each other. If anything, he pulls you even closer and rests his chin against your shoulder, inhaling your scent and trying to obscure every detail of you.

"Take care of yourself." he says while still hugging you. The warmth of his breath caresses your cool cheek, making you shiver.

"I will." you promise as he pulls back just a tiny bit so he can look at you.

"And don't walk through the forest alone."

"How else am I supposed to give you a chance to be my hero?"

You both giggle, staring at each other. The smile on your face slowly fades as he moves closer to you. He places his hand on your cheek and leans in towards you. You hold your breath, captivated by his next move. You close your eyes, waiting for him to kiss you, but instead he leans in to whisper in your ear.

"Aleksander."

You freeze. You stare at him as he reluctantly pulls away from you, dropping a strand of your hair that he has taken between his fingers. And this time it's you staring at his receding silhouette while your heart is pounding like crazy.

Aleksander… your nameless hero soon turned into your villain and the cause of suffering not only for you, but for all the inhabitants of Ravka.

"Rise and shine, Darkling!" you greet him and enter his chambers, after making sure you close the door behind you and only he can hear you.

"I've cut people in half for saying that nickname." he is dawdling and leaving his bedroom. He frowns as he sees that you've changed the colour of your kefta and are now proudly wearing a dark blue, symbolising your allegiance as an Etherealki but at the same time emphasising your uniqueness as a sun summoner.

"But not me. I'm a sun summoner, and we're in your chambers. You won't risk cutting any of your belongings, and you accidentally need me badly for your machiavelous plans, so I feel very safe."

"I can always punish you for your disobedience, sunshine. I am your general, after all." you snort, pretending that using that nickname didn't do anything to you.

"I don't exactly remember the moment I agreed to join your army." you cross your arms and lean against one of his armchairs, glaring at him defiantly.

"That was when you moved into the apartment next to me, didn't you notice?" he asks with a mischievous grin, walking over to you.

"The bed was too comfortable." you say, shrugging your shoulders.

You take his black kefta that was left on the armchair and throw it at him. You snort, amused, and then laugh as he, completely unprepared for your move, lets the kefta slap him in the face.

He frowns and puts on his kefta, studying your smiling face. You don't expect it at all when he suddenly reaches for a pillow and throws it at you.

You gasped in surprise, but then smiled widely, laughing. Amusement sparkled in your eyes as you tossed a pillow at him and grabbed another.

Aleksander dodged your attack and approached you, trying to yank the pillow out of your hands. You fought for a while, you laughing amused, he smiling, hearing your laughter, which for centuries only haunted him in dreams.

He couldn't deny even to himself that hearing that sweet sound again, seeing the dimples formed from your wide smile made him forget everything else.

He finally managed to snatch the pillow from your hands and tossed it behind him. You were pinned to the wall by him. You both stared at each other, breathing fast after the little fight you two had just had.

For a while, you were just Aleksander and Y/N again. Two people who had nothing on their mind except the nagging question of whether the other craves and longs as much what you once had between you.

To feel the familiar scent, the soft, electrifying touch, the softness of lips, the quickened heartbeat uniting in the same sure rhythm as you both lose yourself completely in each other, limiting your world only to the only one you ever wanted.

And you know that if he leaned in and connected your lips right now, you'd give up. You would forget everything, everything but him would be meaningless to you.

That is why you silently thank the saints when, at the moment when he begins to lean in to kiss you after centuries of longing for the comfort only your lips could give him, someone knocks at the door.

You pull away just in time as heartrender enters Aleksander's chambers after a short knock. The man stops, obviously shocked to see you in the general's chambers.

"What is it, Ivan?" Aleksander asks.

His voice is cool, subdued, you know it all too well. You've never heard him speak like that before. Like an imperious general who would not tolerate opposition or interference in his plans. And this Ivan's sudden intrusion obviously didn't suit him.

"It's... time to go, general. Our people are waiting."

"Good. I shall be right there in a minute."

"Of course, sir."

Ivan go out of the room, leaving you two alone again. Aleksander clears his throat.

"Ready to go?" he asks, turning to face you, the tone of his voice is... different. Warmer, more familiar, the gentle way he always turns to you, even when he's mad as hell.

"Yes. I have my favorite weapons and Fedyor made sure I packed a spare kefta. By the way, I don't need a nanny, Aleksander. Stop sending your heartrenders to watch over me."

"Would you prefer me to be in their place, then?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. You don't miss the sparkle of amusement in his eyes as he opens the door, letting you out first.

"Maybe... with your many general's duties, you wouldn't have time to keep an eye on me." you speak cunningly. Aleksander smiles genuinly.

He hadn't expected this morning to be so... peaceful and carefree. Things weren't always like this with you, and he feared he wouldn't count on it to happen especially now. But he was wrong... and strangely he could get used to it. As long as you were the only one to ruin his plans and expectations.

"That's why you would participate in them with me." he says teasingly which makes you roll your eyes.

"You know how to entertain a girl, General." you snort, slapping his arm with yours as you shove him lightly, speeding towards the exit of the Little Palace.

Aleksander frowns as he sees the black steel, shining in the sunlight, sticking out of your boot.

He speeds up, catching up with you again. Your kefta flapping behind you two as you walk at a brisk pace, ignoring Grishas' gazes at you.

"Well, it seems that I'm so memorable that the girl can't part with a memento of me. It's my dagger, isn't it, sunshine? The one I gave you ages ago."

"What? No. Do you think ordinary steel would last that long?" you ask, trying to mock him, but Aleksander knows better.

"Under the protection of good Durasts? Undoubtedly." he says confidently as he takes advantage of your moment of inattention and pulls out your dagger.

He turns it over in his hands, smiling when he realizes he's right. However, you quickly take the steel from his hands and put it back in your shoe.

"I... you know, even if it is the same dagger, it doesn't matter, because you are already more under my 'unmemorable spell' that you decide to take as your sign the one I made for you."

"What do you mean?"

"Please... the sun in the eclipse? It was my idea." you say, pointing to one of the banners on the walls of the Little Palace.

"Maybe yes, maybe not. It was centuries ago. Who would remember that? But you, sunshine, are so sentimental that you kept this dagger. And I tought you were too smart to be seduced by me."

"Do not flatter yourself. It's just a good weapon." you say, trying to brush him off, but that goofy smirk on his lips doesn't disappear even after you leave the palace walls and go into your stable clothes.

"Surely. Because it was mine."

"Be careful. Your ego is starting to get bigger than the fold."

The memory of the fold effectively destroys the playful atmosphere between you two.

And you kind of regret bringing it up on purpose as you watch him tense next to you and walk off without a word, to talk to his most trusted men.

You look away from him and tighten your hand on your grandmother's bracelet. You promised to stay away from him. Meanwhile, you were going to a war against Fjerdans with the man who was the reason why you lost everything what was precious in your life. The only family and shelter you had known.

Aleksander could be your soulmate, but your potential relationship wouldn't do any good.

At least that's what you were trying to tell yourself, watching out of the corner of your eye as the man who created the fold made sure all his soldiers were ready to leave and for the coming fight.

And in that moment, he seemed to you who he wanted you to believe. Protector of all Grishas. Their savior. Starless Saint...

You flinched, looking away from him as he climbed onto his horse. His dark coat over his kefta wrapped around him like shadows, and the deep blackness reminded you of the horrors of the fold.

No. He was just a Black Heretic. An unfeeling, power-hungry monster who has caused millions to suffer.

At least believing in it was an easier solution for you. Unlike him, you've always been looking for easiest way of solving problems... and you couldn't help, but wander maybe you were the selfish one after all?

The neighing of a horse break you out of your reverie. Aleksander rides up to you on his black horse and extends his hand in your direction, inviting (or rather commanding) you to ride with him.

"I can ride a horse by myself." you snort, crossing your arms.

"I didn't doubt." he says in a serious, cold tone, looking at you defiantly in the eyes. His hand is still open for you to take.

You look between his hand and his dark eyes. Behind you, you hear the murmur of other Grishas talking.

One stern look from Aleksander silences everyone. They begin to prepare to leave again, only a few have the courage to cast furtive glances your way.

"Please, Y/N." he whispers so only you can hear him. You know why he wants you to ride with him. The Fjerdans took more from you than both of you would like to admit. He was afraid of losing you… even though you were still an annoying brat to each other.

You roll your eyes and take his hand. You sit in front of him. His hands embrace you and hold you. Enough to respect your privacy and enough to make sure you don't fall. Always a gentleman. You take the horse's reins and, with his order, you all ride out of the palace.

Two weeks. That's how long you managed to stay out from any troubles. (Or rather, how long it took you to get to the Fjerdans border and settle into the camp.)

More than once you fought, you ran, you tried to survive, holding on to your dear life as the only precious thing you had.

But you've never been in a war before. You did not know the realities that awaited you. And Aleksander took great pains not to let you know them or stick your nose out of the camp.

Which annoyed you a lot. That's why you decided to sneak out for a walk when Aleksander was too busy to notice.

And that's how you ran into Drüskelle.

You weren't looking for trouble, really. And you would have made it safely past them and back to camp if they hadn't had other Grishas at the end of their blades.

Therefore, without thinking much, you summoned your light and attacked them.

You managed to free some of the Grishas. They quickly joined the fight against Drüskelle. Some of them (the most wounded) took advantage of the opportunity and ran towards the camp.

Blood was pouring around you. You could feel the familiar thrill of power as you unleashed your light. You rarely summoned them in large numbers, but since Aleksander announced your existence to the world, you've had to get used to it.

You couldn't hide anymore. The summoner of the sun had to go on the scene and save the world... even if you weren't ready for it or wanted to be a saint or a hero.

You got so lost in thought that you separated yourself from the group of fighting Grishas. You were alone with a few Drüskelles in an empty field. You decided to summon a huge ball of light and blind them all, burning out more than their eyes in the process.

Before you could do it, one of them approached you from behind. You stabbed him in the chest with a sword, but another approached you and handcuffed your hands, preventing you from summoning.

He kicked you to the ground and stood over you, sword in hand, ready to kill you.

But suddenly he froze. Blood gushed out of him, falling partly onto you as his lifeless body fell to the ground, cuted in half. Black, shadow-tainted blood oozed from his wounds.

You looked up to see Aleksander. He comes to you worried. He breathes a sigh of relief when he sees that you're fine.

"Still don't need my help?" he asks, extending his hand to help you up. "I should tie you to me."

You huff furiously as you stand up by yourself. More annoyed that he was the one who helped you than that he killed Drüskelle. You shake off your blue kefta and look around the clearing and the halved bodies.

"We could have questioned them first." you say mad. He sighs as he looks at you. You see a flicker of tiredness before he puts his mask back on.

"Is there anyone other than you who does things right in your eyes?" he asks, rummaging through the pockets of the dead Fjerdans and pulling out the key to the handcuffs.

"A lot of people. Of course not you." you say as you walk up to him and lift your handcuffed hands.

"Maybe I should have left you in those handcuffs then." he turns and walks away from you towards the camp.

"Aleksander!" you shout after him, not caring if anyone hears you, and run to catch up with him. Aleksander looks at you reprovingly and sighs, shaking his head.

The moment you are about to grab his hand, you stumble. And if it weren't for the man's quick reflexes, you'd have landed on the ground.

Aleksander catches you and helps you stand up again. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the sleeve of his kefta slip down, revealing the tattoo of your name on his wrist. You stare at it for a moment, somehow captivated by the black writing that resembles your handwriting.

You've only seen his name on your wrist twice in your life. You always made sure you had a bracelet from your grandma which hid it. And now, seeing Aleksander just wearing a tattoo of your name like it was the most ordinary and normal thing to do, makes you feel kind of guilty.

Especially after he glances disappointedly at your bracelet wrist and pulls away from you, covering his soulmate sign with his sleeve.

He clears his throat and tosses you the key. You catch it and look at him carefully.

"In five minutes at the camp. If you don't come back, I'll bind you to my heartenders." he speaks coldly, and even though you can't see his eyes and his tone remains neutral, you know he's hurt. You know that you hurt him. And you don't feel good about it at all.

"As you wish, general." you reply in an equally unemotional tone, and somehow the fact that you named him by his title creates an even greater gulf between you.

He walks away, his black cloak billowing behind him as he leaves you alone in a clearing full of corpses.

You've done it to him hundreds of times. And yet the taste of your own medicine is more bitter than you thought. And you can't help but wonder if it was killing him as much as it was killing you right now.

You came back to camp in a bad mood. Whispers about how Sankta Y/N saved Grishas from the Drüskelles group didn't make you feel any better.

You tried to spot Aleksander's black kefta in the crowd of people. You needed to talk and work things out between you two if you were going to work together to win this war against the Fjerdans.

It's not that you didn't like it when he spoke to you coldly and act distantly towards you. It didn't bother you at all. Not even a little bit...

You return to the camp and as you go deeper, into the zone where the highest rank soldiers are, you feel the atmosphere change to... more tense.

Finally, you see Aleksander. He's talking to Ivan, his expression is... stoic. He wears his mask again, hiding his emotions when Ivan gives him some information.

You approach them and manage to overhear what Ivan is saying. You freeze, standing right behind Aleksander. The king sent soldiers of the second army to the front, where the Fjerdans forces were at their greatest.

The king sent them to slaughter… certain death. You both knew it. Aleksander nodded to Ivan and walked briskly towards his tent, not wanting to hear any more about Grishas' losses in his army.

You sigh, shifting your gaze to the heartrender. "How many?"

"Hundred. More or less." you nod, whispering a silent thank you. The guilt begins to build up inside you.

You were the summoner of the sun. One of the most powerful Grisha… and you still couldn't protect your people. You spent hundreds of years in hiding, developing your obsession with destroying the fold that you failed to see another, more sinister problem in the heart and borders of Ravka.

You let your personal grudge overshadow everything else. And on your way to Aleksander's tent you couldn't help but wonder… was the fold really the problem?

You hesitantly enter Aleksander's tent and pull down the tent's curtain behind you. As you'd expect, his shadows roam the room as he darts around the room looking for some papers.

"What? Are you going to give me another lecture about my incompetence? Or remind me that I'm a monster?" he asks, not hiding his anger as he hears your footsteps inside his tent.

"That's… wasn't exactly my intentions…"

"So say what you want and get out of my sight." he growls in frustration as he flips through the various plans, sheets, notes, and maps on his small desk. Other papers and books lay scattered around the tent, cluttering it.

"I have… some idea how to solve this problem."

"What? Will you make a big ball of light that everyone will be scared of?" he asks sarcastically, mocking you as he reaches for his glass of whiskey.

"Aleksander..." you sigh, hurt, and try to put your hand on his shoulder in comfort, but he pulls away from you as if your touch burns him.

"No, Y/N! You have no idea what's going on here. You've been hiding for hundreds of years from the eyes of others and you didn't care about the fate of the Grishas! Leave me alone and let me take care of my people."

"There are my people too! I want what's best for them too!" you argue with him, furious that he treats you this way. None of this was your fault...or so you thought.

"For how long? How long will it be before you leave them when they need you the most?!" you frown, understanding the slight allusion and hint of resentment in his voice.

"Are you really doing this about us? You're pathetic." you say and turn on your heel to go to your part of the tent, don't want to talk with him anymore today.

"Says a woman who can't defend herself and runs away from everything." he taunts, sipping alcohol from a glass as he watches you avoiding confrontation.

"I can take care of myself!" you scream in fury, walking up to him in three big strides to stand in front of him and prove him wrong.

"Somehow you always end up saved by me! And you always treat me worse than the dirt under your shoes."

"Because you are my curse. The reason I fell, the reason I lost everything! I hate you! I hate you for being the Black Heretic! I hate you for creating the fold! I hate that your damn name is on my wrist!" you scream, pounding his chest with every sentence you say. He grabs your wrists and digs his fingers hard in the place where his name should be on your wrist.

"Oh, believe me, it bothers you less than me. For hundreds of years I have been forced to suffer because of your immaturity and indecisiveness." he growls furiously in your face as you both send a hostile stares at each other.

"My immaturity? My indecisiveness?"

"I wasn't the one of us who denied having a soulmate for hundreds of years. If anyone of us is pathetic here, it is you, sunshine."

"Me? Denying you? Look now."

You speak and step across the space between you. You pull him to you by the heel of his black kefta and kiss him passionately, aggressively, putting all your anger and desire for him into the kiss.

You are to pull away from him and sneer at how he is charmed by your lips when he suddenly pushes you against the desk. Your hips hit the wood as Aleksander presses his body against yours, kissing you greedily as his hands cup your cheeks - making sure you won't leave until he's taken what he wants and needs, what he's so desperately longed for over the centuries.

You answer him with equal passion, tugging on his hair at the base of his neck as you pull him as close to you as possible.

Nothing else in this world matters to you now. Volcra and Drüskelle could invade that tent and you and Aleksander would still be kissing, perhaps just sending your light and shadows against them to keep them out of your way when you finally get what you want.

The desk digs into your hips uncomfortably, but you'd be damned to move away from him now as he continues to kiss you and trails one hand up your body and begins to slowly lift the fabric of your kefta up.

You moan into his lips as his fingertips meet the skin of your waist, amplifying your powers. You can swear that for a moment the rays of the sun flow from your fingers.

Then you pull away from each other. You both breathe heavily, looking at each other as you try to process what just happened between you two.

"Aleksander Morozova… I hate you." you gasp, leaning against his desk as you try to catch a breath. You hate him... for always making you want him more.

"I know." he just whisper, looking at you. You can't read the expression on his face, and his dark eyes take you in completely.

You clear your throat and take a step forward to avoid him and exit the tent, but he blocks your way.

He tentatively raises his hand and places it tenderly on your cheek. You automatically lean into his touch. His eyes move from yours to your mouth. He licks his lips and stares at you silently, thinking of his next move as you stare at him in anticipation.

"What are you doing?" you whisper, your voice barely audible, as if you are afraid that at any moment you will break this moment between you and he will pull away from you when the warmth of his touch is all you want to feel right now.

He doesn't answer you. Instead, he leans forward and gives you enough time and space to move away from him. But you don't. That's why he digs himself greedily into your lips again.

He pushes you back onto the desk, this time you sit on it and wrap your legs around his waist, needing him to be as close to you as possible.

"We should stop." he mumbles, pulling away from your lips and resting his forehead against yours. His eyes are closed as if he's trying to pull himself together to pull away from you.

"We should." you agree, but lean in to kiss him again. He doesn't protest, he wraps his arms around you, pinning you to the desk.

"I have people to safe." he whispers, moving his kisses to your jaw and neck. You shiver at the feel of his warm breath and soft lips against your cold skin.

"We have." you correct him and slowly undo his kefta.

"I shouldn't want you."

"Neither should I." you agree with him, sliding the black material of his kefta off his shoulders. Aleksander picks you up from the desk and kisses you passionately, carrying you to the bed. In the meantime, you're working on undoing his shirt.

The feel of your fingers on his bare chest sobered him up. He hovers over you, watching you intently as he engages in an internal battle with what he wants to do and what he should do.

"Y/N." he whispers, his eyes locked on yours as you play with his hair.

"Aleksander." he sighs, resting his forehead against yours as you stroke his cheek.

His beard tickles you slightly, but you don't mind. In fact, you think he's much better with it... handsomer. Aleksander closes his eyes, rubbing his nose against yours.

"Say you didn't want this. Say that you hate me. That you despise me, that you loathe me. That you wish I died in the fold centuries ago." he says, cupping your cheek tenderly with his hand and opening his eyes, waiting for your response.

"You know I can't... you are everything... everything I have left." you admit. And apparently that's all Aleksander needs to dive into you and take your lips again in a passionate kiss.

You moan into his mouth as he starts ripping off your navy kefta and throwing it behind him. You have the feeling that after this night you will only be able to wear the black one he gave you earlier. But somehow you don't mind anymore.

And you think... that maybe you could be his soulmate for a while... or at least for this one night... to feel his electric touch once again.

[buildarocketboys]

Me looking at prompts list: I am Weak. Uhhh. Peterick anddddd uh. 4, 6, 12 or 15 😅😅🥺🥺🥺 🥺🥺

Thanks baby! I did 12 and 15 for you 🥰 sleepy boys time

Send me a prompt from here and I'll write a little fic!

12: tummy rubs

Pete climbs into Patrick's bed next to him.

Patrick groans. "Do you have to? My stomach hurts."

"Awww, does wittle baby have a tummy ache?" Pete mocks.

Patrick kicks him in the shin.

"Ow!"

"Can't you just leave me alone for once in your life?" Patrick gripes. But he's not really that mad, Pete can tell.

Mostly because when Pete shuffles closer to him and tucks his arm around Patrick's body, Patrick doesn't shrug him off.

He doesn't even tell him to stop when Pete sneaks his hand under the hem of Patrick's t-shirt and starts rubbing big, slow circles over Patrick's soft, gorgeous belly.

In fact, he hums and leans into Pete's touch.

"That's nice," he says. "Keep going."

Pete smiles into Patrick's back. He's under no misapprehensions what a privilege it is that Patrick allows him to do this. He's pretty sure Patrick even makes his girlfriend turn out the lights before he'll get undressed. He's so self conscious.

It makes Pete upset. Patrick is beautiful, every inch of him. But whenever he tries to tell Patrick that, he snorts or rolls his eyes or pushes Pete away and the moment is gone. So he just lies there quietly, giving Patrick belly rubs.

"Yeah..." hums Patrick. "Can you go further down?"

"Further...down?" Pete repeats. Further down is under Patrick's waistband.

"Yeah," says Patrick. "Unless you don't want to." He begins to pull away from Pete, uncertainty written in the lines of his body.

"No, I want too!" Pete says, too fast and too eager. Patrick chuckles.

"Shut up," Pete mumbles into his shoulder as his fingers pull Patrick's waistband away from his waist to let his hand sneak under. He grasps at Patrick's flesh, squeezing just a little, until Patrick yelps and he goes back to rubbing and stroking, oh-so-innocently.

"Y'know," says Patrick, yawning, "You'd make a great boyfriend if you weren't so annoying all the time."

Pete freezes. He waits for Patrick to notice, but Patrick has started snoring. He's fallen asleep in Pete's arms.

Pete keeps stroking Patrick's tummy, holding him tight in his arms while he sleeps.

He tries not to think about what Patrick said, or what it meant. It probably didn't mean anything.

Anyway, what he and Patrick have is special. This, falling asleep together on the tour bus in the middle of the afternoon, is just one of the reasons why.

Pete's never gonna jeopardize that.

15: humming / singing them to sleep

Patrick's phone rings and Patrick blinks blearily into the darkness before reaching for his phone and checking the time. 3am.

Only one person calls him at 3 in the morning. Rolling his eyes, he answers the call.

"Hey Pete," he whispers hoarsely. "Do you know what time it is?"

"I know, I know, I'm sorry," Pete says. He sounds on the verge of tears.

"Pete, Pete, I was just kidding," Patrick says. "You OK?"

"Yeah," says Pete, Patrick's reassurance apparently working wonders to calm him down. "Yeah I'm fine, I just- can't sleep."

Which isn't exactly a rare occurrence, but it's also not the first time Pete's called Patrick in the middle of the night because he can't sleep. He waits for Pete to continue speaking.

"Would- can you sing to me?" Pete asks, voice a soft and frightened animal. "That...it sometimes helps," he finishes lamely.

Patrick has to swallow a lump in his throat. "Sure," he says. "Sure, Pete, of course."

He starts singing - lullabies and rock songs and jazz standards, tunes he makes up on the spot and a couple from their albums. He sings through the night, till his voice is hoarse, and they see in the dawn together before Pete's breathing finally, finally slows and deepens on the other end.

"Pete?" Patrick whispers. When he receives no reply other than a gentle snore, he smiles. "Good night, Pete," he murmurs, then hangs up.

He falls asleep immediately and sleeps well into the afternoon.

[goodluckclove]

Hey. Hey you, young person. Is there an art museum near you? Do you have access to going there?

Go there. Go look at some art.

Most museums offer a youth or student discount that also covers college students. Depending on your city there might even be a free contemporary museum or a smaller local gallery. Or you might be able to get free tickets to a bigger museum through your library card.

I know living somewhere with accessible museums is a luxury and I think that's a tragedy. I also know that there are younger people here whose parents won't allow them to take public transit to the local museum or gallery. I was severely neglected as a child and because of that I'm learning I had some strange privileges other people of that age don't usually get. But my point stands - if you live near an art museum, and you are able to, visit it. Preferably alone. At least check the website and see what exhibits are on view at the moment.

It's extremely valuable to see the scope of art in modern and classic ages. You don't have to be an artist to get use from this. Virtually everyone should have as much access as possible to be in the same physical space as a painting, sculpture, or photo that moves them.

There's also an opportunity to hear from voices you might miss otherwise. I checked the museum I went to growing up at least like once a month (youth tickets were six dollars) to see what was there right now and saw this exhibit. And like. I'm jealous. That sounds so cool. And then I looked up what was coming up to the San Jose ICA, and now I'm annoyed. I spent so many days taking myself to see art in person alone and then thinking about it.

Most modern art museums change exhibits more often compared to other museums. Some of them are artists from eras you might be familiar with, as they're pieces from the museum's individual collection. I saw an Edward Hopper painting in person and I stood so close to it that I practically touched my nose to the glass. But they also have new artists, underrepresented artists, and exhibits covering themes relevant to the world today.

See art if you can. Tell me about the art you see. Take a picture maybe - but ask permission first.

[sombrashe]

content afab gender neutral reader, chubby reader, no plot, toxic undertones, nipple play, cunnilingus, non-safe sex, kinda breeding kink note(s) y/n and troy have just a terrible toxic relationship but it's okay because you're both so good in bed

I'm so sorry. I was a complete dick, and I know a stupid text won't fix what I said. I just need to say this to you because you deserve better. I would love to be able to come over and talk about this. Apologize for real, to your face.

He had been ignoring your texts for days now, a direction you're not used to. You sigh as you stare at your message, the green bubble causing your stomach to turn. Throwing down your phone, you're annoyed. If you two were really broken up this time how were you supposed to get your stuff?

I'm at war with the wo-

You snatched the phone from its sunken position within a discarded blanket. The text was short, a simple let's talk and you grin giddy as you run through the routine. Making up always started with you dolled up and ended with bruises on your knees. Hair done, lip gloss shining against your plump lips, and a loose pair of jeans for easy access and you're ready to go.

Tugging on a plain color hoodie you rush out the door and obsessively check yourself at every red light. Staring at yourself with sad eyes you consider some lines before settling on the I'll leave... since you don't want me here option.

Clicking the metallic button you hear the faint ring of the small apartment's doorbell. The Arizona heat makes you tug on the collar of your hoodie but you can't remove it just yet. Looking nonchalant you give the vertically privileged man a friendly smile.

"I won't take too much of your time. I was wondering if I could also pick up my things while I'm here?"

You made sure to sound gentle, giving him the illusion of choice.

"Whatever you need." He tilts his head scanning you before taking a step off to the side.

"May I?"

You gesture towards the coat rack which was tucked snugly between the wall and the front door. He nods and holds his hand out ready to take the article of clothing from you. You peel off the hoodie making sure to catch your shirt with your pinkie so the mossy green bra you choose specifically for this moment would be shown off.

The smile plastered to his face doesn't leave even as he gathers your hoodie into his arms and tosses it onto one of the arms of the rack. He rests his hand on the small of your back and leads you towards the sandy couch which sits immaculately matching the rest of the living room set. You take a seat furthest from him, your knees pressed together as you smooth out your thighs.

He waits a beat before turning on his heel and confidently walking through the few rooms the apartment provides. He returns about ten minutes later with a moderately sized basket filled with miscellaneous items all of which belonged to you. Taking the basket you rest it on your thighs feeling the pinch of wicker through the denim.

A beat and the softest voice you can muster. "Did you want to talk?"

He never did, and neither did you if you were being honest. This cat-and-mouse game was so much more fun.

"Not really." He shrugs and stares at you with storms brewing within his irises.

You sigh loud enough to sound sad, "I should go. I don't want to be a bother." You love this part.

On cue, he reaches out and wraps his ring-cladded fingers around your elbow. Keeping his fingers pressed into your skin he takes a seat. Your knees are so close to touching. God, he was too far.

"Stay a minute. I can order pizza?"

He scoots closer and you turn your knees towards him feeling the way your bare knees brush against the baggy jeans he wears low on his hips.

"Pizza sounds nice."

He hums in agreement. His lips turn up in a small smile and you get a moment to admire the way his cheeks dimple. Leaning closer you place your hand daintily against his thigh.

"I've missed you."

He mumbles ever so sweetly against your glossed lips. System of a Down serenades you as you both close the atom of a space between you. His lips move in sync with yours, years of this off-again-on-again bullshit has given you two plenty of time to know just what makes the other tick. His rings press into the bone of your jaw as he angles your head up.

Breaking the kiss he licks a stripe up the tendon of your neck. Pausing he bites down on the opposite tendon and watches with barely concealed glee as you hiss. Wasting no time you thread your fingers through his hair and shove him against your delicate flesh. His nose presses painfully against your skin and you can feel the heat of his breath.

"If you're going to bite, then fucking bite, Troy."

He's halfway on your lap, your basket knocked over and scattered across the milk spill of a carpet. He presses his knee against you as he whimpers against your skin. Pressing kisses against your neck and jaw he replaces specific kisses with bloody marks. Your fingers never leave the soft bits of hair at the base of his skull. Lapping at your wounds he only pulls away once the blood has stopped staining your skin. His breathing is collected, his hair only slightly displaced compared to your heated skin and soft gasping breaths.

"Fuck it, come on."

He towers over you as he stands with his hand out to help you up. Finally, Placing your palm against his he drags you to his bedroom and down onto the mattress. You each spend a moment taking turns planting kisses and removing articles of clothing. First your shirt then his, his pants then yours until you're the only one left in nothing but your underwear.

You lean back ignoring the ever-present complaints from your frazzled brain. Cupping one of your breasts you rub your thumb over your perk nipple and let out a whine. He was only a step away and closes the gap between you within a blink. Cupping the back of your hand with his palm he forces you to squeeze your hand tightly down before letting go at your digression.

He lets out an airy breath as he bumps his forehead against yours. His eyes jump from yours to gaze hungrily at your chest. Pressing hot kisses down the skin of your neck and ends up exactly where he wants to be. Moving forward he forces you onto your back, his face eye level with your chest the entire way down. Once you're settled he takes his time pressing open-mouthed kisses to the very tops of your breasts, following each and every mark. Each one gets its moment with Troy, his eagerness only evident with the way his hands twitch against the soft expanse of your stomach. Moving in a clear pattern he spends a few moments tracing his lips and the tip of his nose across your areola licking softly at the pigmented skin. Once he feels satisfied with the teasing he's subjected you to he takes the longest on your gorgeous perky nipples. He can't help the low groan that ripples across your sensitive flesh. He laps at those tiny buds for what feels like hours. Your moans and whines for him only spur him on to take more and more time with you.

Pulling away from your white hot flesh he admires the way your arm is thrown over your face only exposing your bruised and puffy lips. Running his thumb over your bottom lip he gently removes your arm from its relaxed spot and presses a small kiss to your temple.

"Need your eyes on me while I make you cum."

His words send a sharp shiver down your spine which settles restlessly against your lumbar. You watch with pent-up energy as he moves from your chest down your stomach leaving wet kisses in his wake. You absentmindedly spread your legs and fight back the urge to immediately snap them closed as he lets out a guffaw. His teeth are on wide display as he marvels at the growing wet spot sticking to your underwear.

He brushes his thumb across the mark and sucks a breath in through his teeth. Dragging the digit across your matching set you avert your eyes to ease the growing heat resting within the hollows of your cheeks. You grow impatient at his teasing, no words spoken, only the brush of his thumb and the hollow pleasure that never goes anywhere.

Finally, finally, finally, he gets to the point and slips that same thumb under the edge of your underwear feeling the slickness as he brushes his calloused thumb against your sensitive bud. You shutter and let out a soft mewl spurring him on further. He hooks his other thumb under the elastic and tracing your skin with his nails he hooks his knuckles under and over to pull the last remaining article of fabric keeping you two apart over your plush thighs.

The chill from the fan above sends goosebumps over the expanse of your exposed skin. Troy traces over a few of them and tilts his head watching his finger. He always spent moments pressing and pinching the fat that spills around your frame. He enjoyed the way you rolled so perfectly around his fingers, his rings leaving marks in the soft flesh. Sometimes he would sink his teeth into the fat around your thighs, but luck was on your side today and you wouldn't have to worry about the feeling of raw flesh being pinched by your jeans.

Breathing softly making sure to exhale directly onto your labia making you shift trying to grow more comfortable with the heat searing between your legs. Reaching down you tangle your fingers in his shaggy waves. Using the blunt ends of your nails you gently rake them down and across his scalp hoping to encourage him. He picks up the pace and with a sigh an emotion you don’t get to see often crosses his face. He spreads your lips apart using his thumbs and bares his teeth in a wide smile.

He takes a moment to just admire you, his excitement evident by the way he shifts on his knees. Using the tip of his tongue he gently ghosts in across your clit. With a small breath, you relax further into his grip and give yourself over to the pleasure bursting through your limbs. His beard brushes against your hairless thighs. The burn that would come with him between your legs was something future you could deal with. Right now you only have one thing on your mind. Pressing the flat part of his tongue fully down on your clit now has your eyes fluttering as a lopsided grin ghosts over your face with every lick. He spends most of his time working your clit. Using the smooth part of his teeth he gently scrapes it against your darkening clit causing your knees to snap together disorienting him for a moment. With a quick flex of his arms, your knees are pinned beneath his arms and his finger starts to replace his tongue.

At every switch, he moves his way down until his tongue is pushing between your walls. He draws shapes against your insides as you wiggle beneath him. Your breathing is uneven as your walls flutter around his erratic tongue. His unoccupied hand keeps a bruising grip over the flesh of your thigh making your movement sluggish in comparison. Soon you feel that familiar coil of heat building up in your abdomen. He grins against your cunt and looks up at you through long eyelashes. With a huff and a, “Fuck, Troy!”, you're cumming against his tongue as he lets out a soft whine lapping you up like a starved man. Once he pulled away, only at your insistence, he ran his thumb across his bottom lip and licked your very essence off. He looked absolutely gorgeous, eyes bright and lips shiny. You worked your way onto your elbow and shifted him closer to you. He walked his arms up to position beside yours and you pulled him in for a gentle kiss. One that lasted only a few seconds, time spent gently pressing your matte lips against his before darting your tongue out and helping clean him up a little.

He grips your plush hip and leaves bruises in his wake. You gently scratch your nails down his shoulder blades. Feeling every inch of his back before ghosting the backs of your nails back over his skin leaving goosebumps behind. Leaning back he rolls his shoulders and gives you an eager smile, his eyes darkening as he tilts his head.

“You ready?”

You smile and shift alongside him. Letting him use his farmer-boy muscles to pull and twist you further down the bed until your legs are awkwardly hanging off the side. You try lifting your legs and resting your feet on the side of the wooden box spring. Instead, you're left slipping and huffing as Troy watches with small laughs before he swoops in and saves the day. Keeping his fingers wrapped around your ankles he bends you at the knee and shifts your ankles up and over his shoulders. Giving your butt a little wiggle he gives you a sharp smile in contrast to your warm one. He was so so so close, but you needed him closer. Reaching down between the two of you, you take the opportunity to brush your fingers over his swollen tip. Moving your hand further he watches with interest as your stomach folds to allow more leeway. Smearing droplets of pre cum around your fingertips you slide them down further until your palm is like a platform for his cock. Guiding it downwards, you pull it away from his abdomen until his tip is nudging your hole.

You bite your bottom lip for a second before wetting it and give him soft eyes, eyes so unlike others that he sees daily. Eyes full of adoration and shiny now with lust. His heart picks up speed and he has to force himself to look away. You were so much for him, but he couldn't think even for a moment he could live without you.

“Troy.”

“I know, I know.”

He went through the motions. Freeing your hand, he wrapped his own fingers around his length. Guiding it past your lips and up across your swollen clit a few times. Listening to your huffs as you keep from snapping at him. His smile faint as he finally gives you what you've been wanting… no needing this entire time. He pushes past your walls and settles comfortably, a kiss away from your cervix. Giving you time and allowing himself a moment to stare at you; The way your hands covered your heated cheeks, the feeling of you trying and failing to not squeeze the life out of him, the feeling of your heartbeat beneath his fingers as he presses against your ankles pulsepoint. Finally, those hands fall away and they're instead directed towards him. One hand held out in a silent attempt to meet his while the other snaked its way down between your thighs and pressed ever so softly against your clit. You suck in a breath and he chuckles, he hasn't even moved yet, and look at how worked up you were.

Shifting your ankles to a higher point of elevation, he reaches forwards linking your non-dominant hands together. Slowly he slips out of your suctioning pussy watching until he can see the very beginning of his swollen tip before snapping his hips against the swell of your ass. He does this over and over again forming a pattern that has your teeth clenched and eyebrows furrowed. Squeezing your fingers he slowly starts to build up speed as the lewd sounds of your soaked pussy fill the small space of his room.

“God, fuck. Darlin'. ‘re you g’nna cum for me? Sugar, Sugar, fuck! I’m close.”

His accent felt like nails scratching at your scalp the way you tingled. The way it dripped off his tongue and fell against the shell of your ear has you weakly wiggling against him.

“Troy.”

You managed to choke out his name. Two fingers working tirelessly against your clit. He loosens his grip against your ankles and lets your knees fall to the side and over top of his chelidons. His hips stutter and snap against your thighs as he slowly untangles in front of your eyes. His hair sticks to his forehead as his chin lowers. Your eyes snap closed as the coil in your stomach snaps as you cum against his cock. You're so lost in your own feelings of euphoria you don't realize he came until after your high finally cools enough for you to open your eyes. He's staring at you with lidded eyes, his hands absentmindedly petting the lower part of your stomach. You push at him with the bottom of your foot feeling exhaustion start to settle in your limbs.

“Can I spend the night?”

He gives you a short snort as he pulls away from you completely. The soft wet sounds of him pulling out of you has your cheeks heating up despite the tiredness. Yanking you up you let out a grunt as your feet hit the ground. Your knees jiggle for a second as you struggle to make it out of his room and into the cold tiled bathroom. Going to the bathroom you spend a moment fixing yourself in the mirror. Cold water to help the puffiness and a little borrowed face wash to remove the lip gloss that stuck to your chin and mouth. After drying your skin you stretch and make your way back into his small bedroom. Not even bothering with any clothes you simply crawl into his bed and under the plush covers. His giant cushy bed was your favorite part of his insufferable family, their wealth decking his small apartment out to the nines. Yawning you relax against the oversized blanket overlapping the both of you. The soft scrapes of pencil lull you quickly to sleep.

[artiststarme]

What If Steve Were To Leave Hawkins? Part 13

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

This was a really long chapter lol! We’re almost at the end for this fic, probably a few more parts and then I’ll start posting what I have for the next story. I hope you enjoy this and if you have any ideas for the upcoming parts, let me know!

~*~*~*~

Later that day, Steve sent Eddie to pick up carry-out from his favorite Chinese restaurant a few blocks over. He was bursting at the seams to check in on Robin and update her on his happiness. She was working the night shift at Family Video and he knew from his own past experience that it would be a slow day so there wouldn’t be too many interruptions. 

With a peck to the lips, he shoved Eddie out the door and grabbed the phone in a single movement. 

“Family Video, this is Robin speaking. How can I help you?”

“Hey Robin, it’s Steve,” he said, running a hand through his hair. He had so much to say and so little time before Eddie got back with their food.

“Steve! How are you? How’s Eddie? You haven’t called since I last saw you so I wouldn’t know. What if you were dead in a ditch and Eddie was wanted for murder again, huh? Who would tell me? That’s why you need to call.” She rambled in obvious distress. 

Steve’s brow furrowed in confusion, “How would I call you if I was dead in a ditch? I’d be dead. And I haven’t been murdered yet so I think I’m good, I obviously have a good track record.”

“What? Why did you say ‘yet’? Do not jinx yourself, Steve. If you end up murdered because of that statement, I will find a way to bring you back just to kill you myself. You’re not allowed to die, Dingus,” Robin asserted. 

“Okay!” Steve breathed through a laugh. “I won’t get murdered. At least not before I ask Eddie to move in with me.”

“What?!” Robin shrieked. “Why didn’t you lead with that, you dingus? You just started talking again and now you want him to move in? I think that might be moving a little fast. Like, no offense, but are you even gay?”

Steve hummed and scratched his chin, “I’m bisexual, everybody knows that. And I’m dating Eddie now, he’s my boyfriend. I really like having him around and I know he doesn’t like it much in Hawkins. Do you think he would say yes?”

“Okay, we’ll come back to that later. I can guarantee that not everybody knows that, Steve.  But I know he’ll say yes. He’s liked you for months even though the idiot refused to use his words to talk to you about it. I’m worried that he’ll steal my best friend roommate privileges when you ask him though,” Robin said, more serious and comforting than Steve has heard from her since their last encounter with the Upside Down. 

He thought about her words for a moment before speaking. Best friend roommate privileges? “Wait, what? Why would Eddie steal your roommate privileges? Are you planning on moving?”

Robin giggled dorkily into the phone, “My acceptance letter from University of Illinois came yesterday. I’ve been accepted into UIC! And I know a certain dingus lives really close to the campus and might hopefully be on the market for a roommate.”

“Robin, that’s amazing! Congratulations! Yeah, I’d love to get a place with you. We could get a two bedroom and ask Eddie to move in too!” Steve started thinking about the idea in excitement before his insecurities caught up to him once more. “Wait, but what if Eddie doesn’t want to move in with me? I mean, I know I’m great in small doses but I know I irritate people if I’m around too much.”

“What?” Steve heard outside of the phone’s receiver. When he looked up, Eddie was toeing his combat boots off by the door. “Steve, I want to be around you all the time. I think you’re amazing. I was worried to ask if I could stay because I know I’m annoying and I didn’t want you to get sick of me.”

Steve was in shock. How could anyone be annoyed with any of Eddie’s antics? Anytime he thrummed his fingers against the counter, stuck his tongue out of his mouth, or rambled on about DnD, Steve fell more in love with him. “No Eds, I could never get sick of you! I find all of your habits hot as hell. I’d love for you to move in with Robin and I at our new two bedroom apartment. You’ll have to bunk with Robin though.”

Eddie let out a loud guffaw at his words. He had tears in his eyes as he grabbed Steve’s face and ran his thumb along the light stubble on his jaw. “Jesus Christ Stevie, I love you so much.” 

And with that, he planted a bruising kiss on Steve’s eager mouth. He would’ve taken it further had Robin not been a cockblock that decided to cough (i.e. hack) into the phone. “Excuse me! Be mindful of the lesbian ears, please. My god, you guys are ridiculous and living with you is going to be unbearable. I can't wait! It’ll be so much better than the dorms!”

Steve laughed in her ear, “We can’t wait to live with you either! We’ll start looking for some vacancies around here in the paper to see if we can get a good deal. When do you want to move out?”

“As soon as possible,” Robin groaned. “Both of my parents are talking about trying to set me up with local guys and I need to leave before I accidentally out myself or something. Find something quickly and I’ll start packing tonight.”

“If you’re really worried about your parents, you can stay in my living room here for a while until we find a new place. Eddie and I have to head back to Hawkins to pick up his van and pack up his room. Sometime next week probably, on my next day off. Will that be enough time for you?” Steve asked. She was his best friend and he had more than enough experience with shitty parents to sympathize with her. If she wanted to get out early, he’d make that happen for her.  

“I’ll be ready. School starts next month anyways so I should probably move to the area and find another job. Thanks Steve, and Eddie too I guess. Is he still there?”

Steve looked over to Eddie sitting at the small dining room table. He had noodles dripping down his chin and his wide eyes trained directly on Steve’s ass. He snorted, “no, he’s eating our dinner. I’ll call you tomorrow and we’ll work out the details, okay?”

She agreed and they both quickly said their goodbyes. Steve had Chinese lo mein and more importantly, a very sexy boyfriend to attend to. 

~*~*~*~

Roughly thirty minutes after she and Steve had ended their call, Robin noticed Dustin walking up to the door of Family Video. She rarely saw just one kid, usually they traveled in hordes. But today, Dustin was all by his lonesome and was stomping alongside his bike with a dejected expression marring his face. She almost felt worry for the kid but that quickly melted into annoyance when he lugged his bike through the doors with him. 

“Hey! Leave that outside, I have to clean these floors. I don’t want you trekking a bunch of dirt in,” She said with a tone full of judgment. 

Dustin turned back around and set his old bike to rest against the outside wall before heading straight to the counter and resting his arms on the surface. “Have you heard from Steve or Eddie lately?

She sighed, “yeah, I just got off the phone with him. Why?”

He pinched his nose in a manner he adopted from Steve and mumbled, “I haven’t talked to him since he left. I just want to know if he’s okay.”

Robin was shocked. She had no idea why Steve wouldn’t have called to speak to or even just to check in on Dustin, the kid he viewed as a surrogate little brother. It hasn’t come up in their conversations but she had assumed that everything was back to normal between Steve and the others. 

“Yeah, he’s fine. I don’t know why he hasn’t called you but he’s coming back to town next week to help Eddie and I pack so you’ll be able to see him then.” She assured him. 

Unfortunately, her words did not have the soothing effect she was going for and caused Dustin’s neck to snap back so quickly in surprise, he may have gotten whiplash. “You’re leaving now? Why? What did I do to you?!” Dustin exclaimed in shock. 

Robin looked absolutely perplexed, “what do you mean? You didn’t do anything to me. I just got my acceptance letter from the University of Illinois and Steve said we could get a place together in Chicago.”

Dustin’s eyes welled with tears, “He’s in Chicago?”

“Yeah, him and Eddie. After he comes back to help us pack all of our stuff up, we’re all going to get a place. It’ll be so much better than the dorms. And we can still come back and visit! Steve says it’s only a four hour drive! Eddie says he’s going to come back every so often to visit Wayne. We’ll still be around,” She reassured. 

Dustin looked absolutely heartbroken, “What do you mean pack all of your stuff? Wayne said Eddie was just taking some time to himself, now he’s not coming back? Does Wayne even know? I feel like that’s something he should discuss with him!”

“Hey! Dustin, listen, Chicago is not that far away. I’ll be busy with classes and work and Steve will have work too, maybe Eddie, but we’ll make time to visit you and the other kids. You don’t have to worry about us. I mean, I know the Upside Down is like completely gone but just in case, we’re not going super far. We’ll still be here if you need us,” Robin rambled. She saw the tears dripping down his face and tried to reel them back in but nothing was helping. Oh god, she was not the one that should be comforting him. Every word she said caused his lip to quiver more. Oh god. Shit, should she call Nancy or something?

Dustin’s emotions reached their limit and he burst into sobs. First Steve, then Eddie, and now Robin. Did he have to tempt fate and push all of his older friends to want to leave the state? Chicago?! Might as well be a different planet for all the good it did him. He had a bike, how the hell was he supposed to visit them when they were four hours away and across state lines? His shoulders shook as the sobs ripped their way through his chest. His breath left his chest in short pants and no air was entering his lungs. 

“Oh no, oh no, Dustin. Oh no, oh god, shit. Um, Dustin, I think you’re having a panic attack and I don’t know what to do with that. Um, take a deep breath and think happy thoughts. You’ll be fine! Oh god, please don’t die. Steve would never forgive me. Wait, I shouldn’t talk about dying, that’ll freak you out now! Oh no, breathe!” Robin’s pleas became more frantic as Dustin’s breath got less and less steady. “I’m going to call Steve. He’ll know what to do, right? Let’s hope!”

She ran from her spot next to Dustin on the floor to the phone situated behind the counter and dialed his new number. “Come on Steve, pick up, pick up…”

“Harrington and Munson residence.”

“Oh thank god. Dingus! Dustin is having a panic attack and I need you to calm him down. He’s freaking out and it’s freaking me out and-”

“Dustin? Okay, give him the phone. Calm down, Robs,” Steve softened his voice and started speaking to Dustin once he heard the labored breathing through the line. 

“Hey Dustin, it’s Steve. I need you to focus on your breathing, okay? Take deep breaths and focus on your chest moving up and down. Okay? You’re doing great. You just have to calm down a little bit more,” Steve could hear his breathing becoming more regular and kept up his reassurances. “Dustin, everything is fine. You’re alright. What happened, buddy? What caused that?”

Dustin sniffled, “Everyone is leaving. You left and I couldn’t talk to you. Then Eddie left after we had a fight and I couldn’t apologize. And now Robin is leaving! Is it because of me?”

“Of course not! I left because my parents didn’t want me around anymore and I didn’t think anyone else did either. So, I left and I found a place that I really like. Eddie hasn’t been happy for a long time in Hawkins and that’s not on you either. And Robin is going to school. You can’t blame yourself man. You didn’t do anything to force us to leave, you do owe Eddie an apology though for what you told him. That was a real dick thing to say, Henderson. But, we’re not leaving because of you. We're just growing up and leaving home,” Steve explained calmly in a tone he only reserved for the kids.

“And you’re coming next week to help them pack, right? Can I see you then? I’ve really missed having my big brother around.” Dustin whispered vulnerably into the phone. 

“Of course! I’ll take you out to ice cream or something while Eddie whispers sweet nothings to his guitar or whatever else musicians do. Just stay calm and I’ll see you then, okay?” Steve promised him.

“Okay! I’ll see you then!” With that, Dustin handed the phone back to Robin and practically skipped out to his bike. He felt like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. Steve was coming to see him next week and he didn’t hold any resentment for him. Phew, what a relief. He was still leaving town but at least now Dustin knew that they would stay in touch. That was all he could ask for and all he really needed.

Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20: Epilogue

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[haechanhues]

chapter seventeen : mark lee

S I D E : A

Word count : 1k

Warnings : none except the usual - swearing. *sexual* tension I guess. Rizzless flirting that gets a green light when it shouldn’t.

The face that opens the door is a familiar one, but not a friendly one. He immediately scowls and he practically hisses, “Ew, you’re here again.” 

Then the door is slammed in your face. 

You pause for a second, slightly surprised but not entirely as you mull over what to do. So you just stand there, like an idiot, until the decision is made for you. 

The face that opens the door this time is again,  familiar but a polite one. More than polite - he’s awkward, unsure and embarrassed. You have no idea why but Haechan says that Mark was embarrassed to be caught checking you out, “Chenle you can’t just shut the door in someone’s face-” 

He looks at you with eyes that you found love in, “I’m sorry for that, uh- Haechan isn't here but you’re welcome to come inside-” 

You follow after him, making sure to remove the shoes and line them neatly against the wall You notice that Chenle has holed himself back into his room to which Mark sighs at. He figures he should do the polite thing, even though he is still somewhat bashful around you, “Do you want tea or coffee or something?” 

“Ahh, I’ll take whatever you’re having.” 

He accepts it with a nod, but he’s already lost in his own head. Mark understands Chenle’s grumpiness most times, in fact, he and Haechan find it entertaining mostly. But neither have any idea where Chenle’s anger towards you stems from. Nor does Chenle say a damn word about it. 

The strangled yelp you make is not one of pain, but complete surprise and that is what pulls Mark’s complete attention. His orange juice. Not in the glass he just poured you subconsciously, but all over your t-shirt. All over your pretty and probably expensive or at least somewhat valuable t-shirt. 

Shit. 

Shit. 

“Oh fuck, I’m sorry,” Mark rushes into action, grabbing at the end of his own t-shirt clumsily before dabbing at the developing stain. He ignores the transparency of the shirt and focuses on the task at hand, no doubt the bashfulness creating a pink swell on the apples of his cheeks. 

You feel the heat circulate through your body, getting increasinglyflustered by the way his frame seems to hug you. You can’t help but feel a familiar tingle and you hope the sound your throat makes wasn’t as audible to him as it is to you. You can’t help the wince that escapes your mouth at the touch of his gentle fingers skimming across your skin, goosebumps in their wake. 

He freezes, letting the fabric fall from his grasp and stick to your skin, “Actually, how about you let me wash that for you and like…give you my shirt or something. I’d ask Chenle since he’s got nicer shirts than me but he- uhm, he’s…uhh- him.” 

You nodded. 

“For now,” Mark starts, before he removes the jacket from his back and gives it to you to use, “Use this jacket.” 

Mark is forgetful and clumsy. But he’s terribly cute and endearing. You can’t help but gravitate towards him. 

You want to tell Yves that you weren’t swayed by someone’s looks like you have been many times in the past. You want to say that you kept it simple; attractive but with more substance. Character over all. 

But…that would be a lie, not a complete lie but enough of one. 

Mark Lee was an extremely handsome guy and his pretty privilege gravitated towards you. Naturally. With the amount of times he spilt shit on you, from the very first moment and since, you were never as annoyed as you thought you would be (Everyone else did that for you seeing as you never got mad at Mark Lee). 

He leads you into his room where you manage to fuck yourself over in the best way. You knock over his abandoned bottle of jack on the floor, cursing at yourself so ferociously you forget you are practically half naked, pawing at the mess with Mark’s jacket  and unable to fathom that that the owner of said room, upon hearing your spluttering had decided to play white knight and save you. 

So he saw you. Oh, did he see you. Bent over, skin exposed cleaning up after an expensive bottle of jack. Mark audibly gulps and you’re left completely mortified. Terribly fucking mortified. In fact, you’ve never felt so embarrassed in your life (and that’s saying something, considering you have been publicly humiliated and shamed for existing.) 

But because he is Mark Lee, he swallows his surprise before he kneels down beside you, taking your hands in his and lifting you to both feet. He’s so soft and gentle when he tells you that it’s okay and that you didn’t have to pay him back (You did. It was such an expensive bottle of alcohol) 

When he cards a loose strand of hair behind your ear, you almost melt into a puddle. Because he is so sweet and you love it on him. The onslaught of endearment you have towards him flusters you so much you’re self conscious about how he sees you. But you can see the way you manage to have the same impact on him, and it softens you right up again. 

“Okay.. I know I fucked up the first time, but- do you want anything to drink? Tea…coffee? Juice? We had Jack Daniels but-” 

Purposeful pause and a giggle. Yours. 

You can’t help the giggle that passes your lips and he wants to hear it more. It’s clear and it’s melodic and it’s sending his heart into overdrive the more he hears it. 

“Anything you’re having,” You repeat, grin permanently etched onto your face. 

Mark grins, his right cheek protruding, “Okay, I’ll be waiting.” 

You get changed, taking your time as you process what just happened before you walk into the hallway, spotting Mark place your drink on the bench. Tea, you assume. 

Though you love him with all your heart, when Haechan walks through the door with his signature grin and ‘double down’ chunky boots you want to knock him out, “LOOK AT THIS - MY HOES ALL TOGETHER IN ONE PLACE!”

S I D E : B

THE SERIAL LOVER

in which a girl farewells every boy she’s ever loved (or at least had romantic feelings for) in order to prove that her feelings for one particular boy are very real and unwavering. 

chapter seventeen : mark lee

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[abcd-adventures]

I saw this absolutely gorgeous flower yesterday on my walk! I had to stop and take a picture. I feel like--especially this year--life is going by so fast that it's insane and it's really grounding to take a moment to just STOP and focus on something small, real, and beautiful.

This weekend, we are meeting my best friend and her family at a cabin in Fredericksburg to check out some German Christmas markets, hike, and generally just spend some time together and relax. She is a SUPER planner and she always packs her itineraries, but I told her that B goes to bed at 7 and that all I want in the evenings is some time with wine around the firepit and in the hot tub and I will not be leaving after 6:30! Lol We've been friends almost 40 years now, so she gets me. I'm looking forward to that downtime with people I love very much! And, there are some decent wineries in Fredericksburg, so we should have good wine, too!

I am part of two "working groups" for my organization--one re: antiracism and one on harm reduction. I am constantly annoyed by the tediousness of the process of exploring how "difficult" it is to "strike the right balance" in what we can bring to the larger team...because it honestly reminds me of the same garbage with school libraries or teachers not being allowed to talk about critical race theory or have certain books available...are we reallllllly right to be that concerned about how difficult it is for people with more privilege to simply hear about what it is like to have less? Should we not be more concerned with how to delicately but directly facilitate conversation and address anger/discomfort/sadness/fear/WHATEVER when it arises? I used to be a teacher. I used to facilitate discussions on difficult topics all the time because teaching kids how to think critically is supposed to be the point of teaching even though it feels less and less like that now. My rules were that you could say or argue anything but you had to be prepared to explain your reasoning behind your thoughts/opinions and I reserved the right to stop you at any time and make you explain them. We talked about other people's life experiences and how words and beliefs shape policies and shape societies and how they impact others directly and indirectly and we explored how comments affected us in real time. It was really cool to see the transformation over the course of a year from at the beginning of the year when kids would fumble and stare at me when I would ask, "Ok, why do you believe that?" to the end of the year when they could site evidence and share insights they'd received from discussions with others. If my students can do it, I think it's fair to expect that from adults. Is it difficult to navigate emotionally-charged, stigmatizing topics? Of course. But, nothing changes if we don't.

[softguarnere]

hello! :) i'm working on a bob fanfiction right now, and i wanted to know if you had any tips for aspiring bob fanfic writers (or if you had talked about this before?) i'm especially curious what you have to say about balancing the historical accuracy of the story vs deviations from history, as well as how to weave an oc into the original plot of the show while still keeping the content fresh and (somewhat) original

oh! and also how you go about doing your research (if you do any)

your writing is a huge inspiration to me, so thanks so much!! i hope you have a good day :D

Hi Anon! I answered something similar here if you want to check that out

Aside from just going for it and having fun with it, I do have some thoughts (everybody act shocked), but I'll try to keep it concise 🤗

Balancing historical accuracy with fiction

First and foremost, I feel like it's helpful to point out that Stephen Ambrose made some mistakes in BOB. Not trying to disparage his name or anything, just to be clear! Several of the men (Speirs, Shifty) pointed out mistakes he made about them in the book.

Why am I mentioning this? Because I'm a historian and I'm annoying about it lol Because the historical narrative we're drawing our inspiration for fics from isn't a narrative that everyone agrees on -- then again, good luck finding one that people do, but I digress -- I think it gives some wiggle room for bending the story a bit to make it work for the narrative that we as writers are trying to create

Similarly, I feel like it's important to invoke the disclaimer that many of us put on our fics: these stories about fictional representations from a show (though it is based on real people and events)

In the end, we're all taking liberties with the narrative for the sake of our writing. Most people in the fandom probably won't bite your head off if you use plotlines that are alternate histories because most of us are doing them, too -- and a lot of writers here have some very cool ideas and plots with alternate histories that are really good reads!

At the end of the day, don't feel pressured to stick directly to the historical narrative. After all, we're writers -- having imagination is what we do

Weaving an OC into a well-known narrative

Oh boy. I'm not sure if there's a great way to answer this. Personally, I knew who my OC was, what her background, wants desires, etc. were, and then I just sort of . . . set her free into the story? There are moments directly from the show where I wove her in and made her a part of that scene, and then there are interactions and plotlines that I came up with myself.

Honestly, it probably depends on your plot and your character. No one really wants to read a re-write of BOB -- after all, that's why we're all out here writing fics with our own ideas and stories. However, if you feel that a certain scene would further your plot/advance your character, and that you can weave them into it, then go for it! It's all about how you write and what feels right to you for your story.

Research

Have I abused some of my historian privileges during my time in this fandom? Perhaps 👀 But if you don't have university archival access, never fear! There are still lots of good ways to research

In terms of background, I found that reading the memoirs and biographies of the Easy Company men was really helpful when figuring out how to write them. It was also good for learning stories and experiences that did not make it into BOB. Watching interviews with them on YouTube and watching interviews with the actors was also extremely helpful for things like speech cadence, mannerisms, etc.

Definitely branch out, though! I was lucky in that I had to do some projects about WW2 around the time that I joined the fandom, so researching different aspects of the period was helpful for me when I started writing. Don't feel like you have to rush out and read every WW2 book or watch every documentary, but it can definitely help with learning different perspectives and experiences, as well as providing context.

If you ever want book recommendations, feel free to reach out! Especially if you need book recs about paratroopers in general, because I have a whole shelf space dedicated to those haha

Lastly, thank you so much for the lovely compliment, Anon -- and thank you for trusting me enough to reach out! 🥹 Feel free to reach out if you ever want to chat, and I look forward to reading what you write in the future 💕

(Other BOB writers feel free to add on!)

[sunflowergem]

9 and 13 for the oc asks!!

9 Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

It took me 2 hours to remember this but I knew there was like an actual quote that I think of for her and I want to include it somewhere in the story! So it's actually when I think about a lot when I write like richer characters. I think because I'm not from a super affluent background and I'd like to think I would be a generous person if I became rich.

noblesse oblige

And I'm having a hell of a weird moment right now because I thought this was said sometime in the National Treasure movie and that's where I picked it up. But I'm looking into it to try and find the original quote and I'm not finding it at all! I don't have the DVD anymore nor a DVD player in my apartment so I can't like fully check, but I think I might have made this up in my brain somehow??? In my head Nicholas Cage says"noblesse oblige" and then goes on to explain what that concept means in like a more modern term in combination with some patriotism so the next part of it would be "It means if there's something something wrong, those who have the ability to take action have the responsibility to take action" But apparently only that second part is from the actual movie???

Apparently it's originally a A French concept and it still fits with her character because it is about nobles doing what they can to help those less fortunate but I am so confused how I ended up Mandela affecting myself to think this came from National Treasure at some point???

According to the Wikipedia article,

The Dictionnaire de l'Académie française defines it thus:

Whoever claims to be noble must conduct himself nobly.

(Figuratively) One must act in a fashion that conforms to one's position and privileges with which one has been born, bestowed and/or has earned.

I am also more confused how I messed this up because I'm reading more on the Wikipedia article and apparently it was used in something I definitely saw in my childhood that would have made a hell of an impact. But it's Mary Poppins, not National Treasure!

Also from the Wikipedia page:

In the song "The Life I Lead" from the 1964 Disney film Mary Poppins, the character Mr. Banks (played by David Tomlinson) uses the phrase: "I'm the lord of my castle! The sovereign! The liege! I treat my subjects, servants, children, wife, with a firm but gentle hand—noblesse oblige."

I don't think I ever fully internalized what he was saying at the end of that, but like I can hear this in his voice in my head! I have been on a ride with this question. Thank you for this experience 🤣

13 If you met your OC, would the two of you get along?

Considering she's pretty similar to me I think so? Although sometimes if people are too close to how you act then it kind of gets annoying. Also people pleasers meeting people-pleasers is kind of a recipe for hurt feelings over time because people start repressing shit. So maybe limited contact would be best. We could definitely work easily together I think like maybe favorite co-worker kind of status.