#this is my addition to the bg3 writing community

[dantent]

𝑴𝒆𝒐𝒘𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒆𝒍 [𝑶𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒕]

A/N: This isn't a Raphael x Tav oneshot, it's more of a "Raphael was turned into a cat and Tav takes care of him" oneshot. Goes without saying that this is just a big joke and don't take this seriously. Please.

Blame the discord server for this.

Part 2

Raphael was fuming. He was meant to be the Archdevil Supreme. And yet here he was in the form of a beast, an animal – a cat. Forced, exiled even, to Faerûn. Once a place he schemed at, now his prison. Would he still have any of his humanoid forms, he would’ve already planned his great revenge, alas he was stuck in a ruined house, hiding from something as insignificant as rain. He cursed the entire hells for having such sensitivity to water in his new form.

The Devil never considered how a stray’s life would be, why would he? He was Raphael, a cambion of his rank would never stoop so low to think about the poor animals. If he could he would’ve laughed at that thought. But he wasn’t in any condition to laugh; his brown fur was dirty from being thrown in the mud by the portal that sent him to his doom. Curse Asmodeus, he thought, not even begging will better his fate once I’m crowned. Oh, but would that day even come? 

He growled once more. I’m Raphael, he raged, I will not be bested. It seemed he truly believed that, and yet there was a questioning voice in his mind. Raphael shook his now-tiny head, trying to silence it; but he had to admit that his situation was rather unpleasant. He sent another set of curses to his father, Asmodeus but most of all Haarlep. It was them who mocked his “obsession” with cats; earning him this cruel fate. No matter, he had survived far worse and this temporary setback wouldn’t be his downfall. Once he was able to get back, he imagined all the glorious ways he would kill all three of them.

As Raphael watched the rain, thinking of murder, he heard footsteps coming from the street. The Devil, or rather cat, lazily walked towards the entrance, wondering what idiot would run around in a storm. It was his little mouse. Raphael’s eyes widened, hope rising in him. Hope. He scolded himself for thinking of such things now. But Tav didn’t look towards him, in fact they hurried away from the ruined house. In a desperate attempt, Raphael started meowing as loud as he could, hoping Tav would turn back. And they did. 

Tav was always a kindhearted person, one he could easily use for his own gains; and today wasn’t any different. The hero of Baldur’s Gate rushed towards him, covering themselves with their cape. Raphael smiled but from the outside it looked like a distorted grimace. His little mouse, how ironic, bent down to pet him. In any other case he would’ve cut their hand off, but he reminded himself that currently Tav was the only person who could help him, again. No matter, he was patient after all. Another hundred years was nothing to him. He could wait. 

“Aw, you’re trapped here kitty?” their voice cooed at him. “Come, I can help.”

They took their cape off and tried to make a safe haven for him. Raphael wished he could slash their arms but he wasn’t one to bite the hand that feeds him. Not in this case, at least. He gently settled in Tav’s arms as they did their best to cover him with their cape. 

“Are you ready?” they asked before rushing out.

Raphael hissed as a stray raindrop fell on his head. It was a purely instinctual response, one he hated. The Devil spent so much time learning how to hide his reactions in his devil form; now he had to start all over again. Controlling the tail seemed easiest, as it reminded him of his previous one; but these vocal reactions got the best of him. Thankfully Tav seemed to be occupied with something else to notice. 

In the meantime Raphael started making his plan. First, his little mouses needed to recognise him. That would prove to be troublesome but if he remembered correctly, and he always did, Raphael could recall them using a potion to speak to animals before. He could only hope that Tav still had a potion. Hope, again. Raphael growled, trying to forget her. The last thing he needed was to be reminded of that stubborn fool. 

Before he could even consider where he was, Tav entered a tavern. Raphael didn’t recognize it at first but after looking around, he remembered its name – Elfsong. Not the luxury Raphael was hoping for but he had figured out Tav’s lack of style quite some time ago. His hero rushed upstairs, entering the bedroom. To his surprise, not one soul was present besides his little mouse. Tav set him down before releasing a sigh. 

“Oh you poor thing… You’re so filthy.” they shook their head. Raphael growled at them before setting off to find their backpack, and the potion he was looking for. 

He didn’t quite care what Tav was doing in the meantime, since he only needed them to understand him. Raphael was already sure that his little mouse would laugh at this horrid fate, which they would pay for, but he had to endure it. For now. 

Once he found the bag, he tore the top open with his teeth and claws, and started rummaging around. He hated the messiness of this but he didn’t have another choice as Tav didn’t seem to come after him. Raphael searched around in the hero’s disorganized bag, finding all sorts of things. Scrolls on top of scrolls, food that has been rotting there for at least months, a severed hand. The Devil grimaced just before he set eyes on the potion. He grabbed it with his mouth and began pulling it out before he was snatched away from it. 

“No! Bad kitty! Leave my potions alone, they could poison you!” Tav yelled at him with mocked anger. Once Raphael hissed at them, their expression softened. “Now, now, it’s okay. You’re fine but keep it that way, alright?”

Yet they didn’t put him down. Raphael whipped his head around before setting his eyes on a bucket full of water. Coincidentally Tav was walking right in its direction. Oh no. He took the rain and being thrown in the mud but he was not going to be bathed like some animal. Raphael screamed and tossed around in the hero’s arms, scratching every piece of flash he could get his claws on. He despised how weak he was in this form, unable to stop the fool from dumping him into water. 

“Stop that!” they shrieked. “Gods you’re so dramatic, I’m just trying to help!”

Tav raised him above them as Raphael stared daggers at the hero. His little mouse shook their head disapprovingly. Clearly they had not figured out who he was yet. And if they have and were just playing with him, Raphael was going to make sure their soul would suffer eternally. 

“You remind me so much of Raphael, that bastard.” How dare they. “I think I’m gonna name you after him. Wait, he would probably kill me if he found out. Hm.”

That he will. 

“How about Meowphael?” they laughed. “Yeah, that fits.”

Oh, Tav was going to die.

---

Psst, you like Raphael? Why not sign this petition to get a Raphael romance (or at least more content with him)?

[whumptober]

Anatomy of a Whumptober Prompt

We get a lot of questions about prompts, so I thought this might be a helpful post for how to break down a Whumptober prompt and get ideas.

Each day of Whumptober has 4 prompts: a theme trope, then three ideas. You can use any one, two, three, or all four in your work. Each day’s prompts loosely relate to each other but could also be taken individually. They can be interpreted as literally or figuratively as you want.

Let’s look at an example. I’m a writer, so I’m going to talk in terms of storywriting, but just remember that this challenge is open to all sorts of creative works, including art, gifsets, headcannons, crafts, or whatever else you can think of.

ICARUS

cage | “You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high” | crash landing

(Fiona Apple, Never is a Promise)

So the theme is Icarus, with additional prompts of a place, a song lyric, and a situation. Taken together, you could write a story of Icarus, who was caged with his father Daedelus, flew too close to the sun on the hope of freedom, and crashed fatally to earth. But you could also look at each prompt in isolation for ideas.

Icarus:

themes of hubris

themes of freedom from captivity

winged characters

a child trying to prove themselves to a parent figure and failing

Cage:

being literally caged

feeling figuratively caged

breaking free of something (literal or figurative)

themes of imprisonment and freedom or false freedom

“You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high”:

regret

promises made or broken

an accident and its aftermath

bitterness after betrayal

guilt after betrayal or accident

Crash landing:

literally falling from a height

being high (drugs, mania, medications, love, sugar) and crashing

plane/helicopter/airship/dragon/spaceship/winged creature crash

an angel falling to earth or hell

comet or meteor impact

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but just some brainstorming ideas I could come up with quickly. In a few of my fandoms, I could write about Bucky’s fall from the train and Steve’s guilt (MCU), Basch fon Ronsenburg’s fall from grace or languishing in a cage for treason (FFXII), Sephiroth summoning Meteor (FFVII), Chell being dragged back into Aperture after thinking she’s free (Portal), a dragonrider battle (ASOIAF/HoD), crashing into the Chionthar after victory (BG3), Geralt coming down after battle when the potions wear off (The Witcher). Any of these scenarios could be inspired by one or more of the four prompts for that day – my problem is always deciding which one I want to use!

“But Yenn,” you say, “what if I can’t think of anything for any parts of the prompt, or I don’t like the prompts, or they’re too much for me in some way?” No problem! We also have a list of 15 alternatives that can be substituted for any day (once per prompt). If you’re still stuck, you can always come on Discord and ask for brainstorming help. Everyone is super nice there, especially for a community of people that live to put blorbos in discomfort.

I hope this post helps give people ideas. We’re working hard to get everything together and should release the prompts in a couple of weeks! In the meantime, our 2024 playlist will be loading soon...

[alpaca-clouds]

BG3 fans, we gotta talk CPTSD

Okay, I have spend about a week considering writing this blog, but I really gotta say, that it is something people really need to understand. See, I mostly see this issue with Astarion and his depiction in fandom. However, I would argue that it is a thing that affects literally all characters that play some sort of bigger in this entire game. Including many NPCs.

But let me start with Astarion. See, I wrote the blog two weeks ago about people being judgy on people, who do not want to have graveyard sex with him. Mostly people will argue how Astarion should be allowed to have his agency in that moment - while I argued that whoever the player is playing should have also agency in that scene. Including the agency to say "no" for whatever reason. I also included that my Tav absolutely denied Astarion, because he was not trusting that Astarion in the scene really was ready for it, for a variety of reasons. Which is very much a valid reason for someone not to want to sleep with someone else. (Literally every reason is a good reason for that, mind you.)

And obviously there came the comment, that went basically: "As someone who was raped I am very appalled by you saying that raped people cannot consent." Which is very much not what I said.

What I said was, that my Tav did not consent. Yes, he did not consent because he thought Astarion was not ready for it - but he is the one not consenting. It does not matter for this whether his assumption about Astarion is true or not. Tav does not feel comfortable in the scene, so Tav does not want sex right there.

However... If you consider the drow orgy scene, Tav is also very much right. If you do that scene after defeating Cazador, Astarion is enthusiastically consenting to that orgy, but he still ends up dissociating during the scene. (And in that scene, even if your character notices it, you cannot go "Stop!" Which I hate.)

Here is the thing. If you are in the BDSM scene, you might actually have encountered a scenario in real life where someone was enthusiastically consenting to something - only to them realize, that they were not into it at all. And people can withdraw their consent IRL at this point. Only that in this game, obviously you can't. So within the game choices I will just start out with "no" for this character.

Still, that is actually not what I mainly wanted to talk about. No.

What I wanted to talk about is the other thing. I absolutely know that for a variety of reasons a lot of SA survivors do identify with Astarion, and I do not want to take that from anyone. I think it is amazing that we got a character with whom we see this issue portrayed seriously. And let's face it. Especially in tumblr fandom circles, we will have a lot of SA survivors, because the userbase of this website is majority afab, and many are queer. And we know from statistics that queer afab people are even more likely than non-queer afab people to experience SA at some point in there life. So, yes, Astarion is going to be embraced by this community makes sense - even without his dashing looks.

But here we get to the actual meat of the issue: Astarion was not just raped. Astarion was abused in a variety of ways - some of them sexual - over the course of 200 years. He went not through a single traumatic event, but an ongoing trauma that, again, lasted for 200 years.

Or to put different: Astarion does not have PTSD. He has C-PTSD. Complex trauma. The kind of trauma that develops when the trauma lasts over a long, long time, without the survivor getting a chance to ever really properly ever relax. Something that was very true for Astarion's time under Cazador. He was under constant threat of rape, torture, and other forms of violence.

While CPTSD is a form of PTSD, it has some differing symptoms - and additional symptoms from plain old PTSD.

I found this graphic on this blog here, and found it fairly good in the depictions. (If you google CPTSD you will find several graphics like this.) It shows very well the additional symptoms, compared to normal trauma.

Generally speaking, CPTSD brings a lot stronger issues with self-worth, interpersonal problems, and emotional regulation. CPTSD folks are often prone to emotional outbursts (this graphic names anger, but technically it can be all other kinds of emotional outbursts - which is why at times CPTSD gets confused with BPD).

And Astarion is written like this. He shows very much all the symptoms of CPTSD. And let's be honest: That is an issue he will have to deal with for a long, long while.

But... As I said, the same is actually true for pretty much all the characters.

If you look at the companions, it is obvious.

Gale spent at least a year in constant fear of blowing up. While Mystra's abusiveness towards him within the relationship prior the orb is more fanon than canon (though the relationship was defnitely not an easy one), the "one year in constant fear of death" is very likely going to instill some form of CPTSD in him.

Karlach was a slave for 10 years, forced to fight in the hells. While she will also probably suffer from certain forms of PTSD more common in soldiers. Additionally I would argue that she also has some CPTSD from tiefling-racism. While she does not bring it up often... She does seem to have a thing there.

With Wyll it is a bit more complicated. Yes, for him I would see the kind of CPTSD I have - parental abuse related. Ulder was not openly abusive, but neither was my mother, and guess what fucked me most up in my childhood, despite experiencing some really bad violence elsewhere.

Shadowheart was abused by Viconia and midwashed and tortured and was forced to kill her fucking pet mouse. Bonus points that a lot of it happened during her childhood. She very much is gonna suffer the consequences.

Lae'zel... Do I really need to say something about her upbringing among the Gith?

Then we have Halsin. We know fairly little about his background, given that he is very coy in talking about it. But his "three years as a drow slave" definitely make it likely that he has developed some form of CPTSD.

And then we have Jaheira and Minsc. For whom just the... Well, look folks, the adventuring lifestyle would logically also leave you with CPTSD of some sort.

Even if you play a Tav who entered the game after having a very untraumatic life... They will spent what has to be at least two months with a tadpole in their head threatening to kill them - while half of Baldur's Gate is trying to do the same. They'll have PTSD after this at the very least, if not CPTSD. (Even though, let's face it, chances are we all gave our Tavs more than enough background trauma to go along with it, right?)

And same goes for so many other characters. The tiefling refugees. Our main villains (especially Gortash and Orin). Cazador. The other vampire spawn (duh). The list goes on.

So, what am I trying to say here?

Well, for once I just want to make sure folks understand that CPTSD is a thing that exists and while being similar to normal PTSD differs in some points. Including the fact that people with CPTSD have a high likelihood to make very rash decisions driven by instable emotional states, that might be harmful to them on the long run.

And mind you. In real life most people with CPTSD have it because either they were bullied for a long time, or were in an abusive relationship of some sort. (Abusive parents, abusive partners, abusive friends/roommates.) But even in those heightened scenarios the game represents for the most part - the issues are gonna be still mainly the same.

[vampiricgf]

hi everyone! i just wanted to put together a lil post detailing that im opening commissions for stories :3 it's something ive been thinking of doing while im going through job interviews, and I figured it'd be sensible to have something breaking down info on it and how to commission me if you'd like your very own reader insert tailored to your preference

ive written a variety of fics, you can look through my masterlist and ao3 (also vampiricgf), for a variety of fandoms. jjk, zzz, bg3, re, and hellsing. I focus on fem reader insert works for the most part and unfortunately I don't have a wealth of experience with ocs, so I won't be accepting commissions for oc works

im not opposed to writing about nearly anything outside ed content but specifics like that can be discussed privately of course! I will say my work on here is reflective of my particular skill set, so a male reader or gn reader I would not accept a commission for

Below you'll find more details!

to request a commission please dm me here on tumblr, it's the most reliable way I'll see your message! If you have my discord feel free to reach out to me there, too. in your message please provide a brief overview of what you're looking for, potential requirements, and any specifics you're hoping to see in a story

2-3k words : 15 USD

4-5k words : 25 USD

5k+ : 35 USD

Each additional 1k words will be an extra 5 USD

im accepting payment through paypal or cashapp, which will be provided privately

I require half of the cost upfront, so if you're shooting for a solid 5k I would ask for 15 upfront. At a midway point I would send you the rough draft for your review and upon continuing to completion would request the remaining half so it would equal the 25 dollars. depending on your preference the work would either be emailed to you in a pdf format, posted here, or both (I would recommend both so you do not lose access to the work in the event something happens like my blog gets deleted by staff or something like that)

If for whatever reason I'm unable to complete a commission the portion already paid would be refunded to you immediately

turnaround time depends on the level of complexity, required detail, and length of the project. For work that someone is paying real world money for I want to make sure you get something more than fair in exchange, so please do not expect it to be instant or as fast as I occasionally post work here. No matter the length of time there would be constant communication, updating you on story progress as well as any potential issues. through various points I would send the draft for your review up until the finished result

absolutely, you'll be sent rough draft updates consistently through the process to ensure any specifications are being met or if there's anything that needs extra attention in the story itself that I am aware. This also ensures you're happy with the finished project and that your requests are being met to the best of my ability

It's your choice whether the work is shared or not, if you're uncomfortable with it being posted here (never specifying or @-ing you directly, only saying the work was a commission) or if you'd just like to keep the pdf of it for your own enjoyment, it's all up to you. upon completion I will ask what your preference is regarding the work being posted to my blog

feel free to dm me! im here to answer any questions you have :3

[mercurial-cool]

💜Ambrosia Progress Update 💜

Hello lovely Bloodweave community! Since my last post was me nearly four months ago saying that a new Ambrosia chapter would likely be coming by the end of the year (lol), I just thought I'd pop back in here to give a quick little "proof of life" post and reassure anyone still wondering that, at least in theory, it still has not been abandoned -- I just took a little time away from working on it for various reasons.

[That's the important part of what I wanted to share, but I'm inserting a cut below for some additional self-indulgent rambling for anyone who wants a bit more context.]

One reason for the hiatus was that my job got crazy towards the end of the year, which both took away from my writing time and also my BG3-playing time, making it harder to jump back in and capture the characters' voices as accurately as I felt I could when I was playing more regularly. And the other, more recent and much sillier reason is that I accidentally and unexpectedly stumbled into an obsession with Formula 1 and had some writing ideas for that fandom that my brain demanded that I act on immediately... so, if you subscribed to me for Ambrosia updates and get a notification soon that I've de-anoned 45k words of (AO3 member-locked) Formula 1 RPF, I am so sorry for the possible bait-and-switch lmao. (But congratulations to the, like, three other people who might exist with me at the center of the Venn diagram of those two fandoms haha... I'd love to know if you're out there!)

I'll admit that I've felt guilty for doing that other writing while Ambrosia was still unfinished. I've never had anything I've written come anywhere close to the level of popularity that Ambrosia has reached, and it was something I've truthfully found a little overwhelming at times. At the very least, it's prompted me to feel quite a bit more anxious and perfectionistic about whether any new chapters I put out "live up to" the bar that's been set by how much people have enjoyed the previous chapters. None of that is to diminish how unbelievably appreciative I am of the people who have taken the time to read and comment on Ambrosia -- I still read and am grateful for every single comment that comes through, even though I've done a shit job of responding to them lately (another source of no small amount of guilt).

But I think I needed to take some time to do some writing that didn't have the self-imposed pressure of quite so many eyes. And now that I've done that, I'm excited to return to Ambrosia refreshed and with a healthier perspective. I know better than to actually try and give a timeline this time around for when the next chapter might be out, but just know that I'm once again actively working on it, and I'm very excited about some of the writing that I've already completed. :)

Thank you (and/or I'm sorry) to anyone who bothered to read this far, and hope you're all doing well. <3

[novarex]

Pinned Stuff

Hello! If you are here, you are probably interested in Baldur's Gate, D&D, the Forgotten Realms, The Legend Of Drizzt, and ANYTHING DROW. Please enjoy.

MY FICS:

KINKTOBER 2024 - Welcome to my BG3 Kinktober 2024 AO3 link! We are going to have lots of fun. Read the tags. 18+ NSFW (duh)

A Personal Blessing - Nere/Tav 18+ NSFW smut/romance/slowish burn fic. Tav is an Eilistraee worshiping drow, and can't get Nere out of her head. She convinced him to leave the Absolute, but where will he go now? Tav is determined to rescue this sad, lost drow man with her vagina.

Unworthy - Kar'Niss/Tav 18+ NSFW Dead Dove fic. Please read the tags. This is not a romance story. Tav stumbles upon a weeping Kar'niss in his nest at Moonrise. She discovers the source of his distress, and through the tadpole she gets a glimpse of his past. Kar'Niss has suffered greatly at the hands of Elnira, his Matron Mother's wicked eldest daughter. Rated Dead Dove for damn good reasons.

Punished - Shadowheart, Viconia DiVir, others - 18+ Dead Dove fic. Shadowheart and two others, a female high-elf and a male drow are caught masturbating - Mother Superior Viconia DeVir administers the appropriate punishment. The Cloister of Somber Embrace has Strick rules against self pleasure, and a clear outline for the punishment. The is pure porn. And I mean... the plot is a wet tissue here. Dead Dove. Please read tags. Really isn't that bad, no body horror or blood.

Balancing the Scales - f!humanDurge/Gortash NSFW Dead Dove Fic - Who wants some absolutely unhinged, vile, filthy, degrading Durgetash smut? Earlier in Gortash and Nyxana's plans, back when Enver was purchasing all the infernal iron he could get his hands on, Nyxana slipped up and murdered their most valuable suppliers. Frustrated with his otherwise brilliant partner's slipup, he teaches her a lesson she will not soon forget. AKA they have some kind of fucked up BDSM humiliation/punishment kink agreement they can use on each other if they mess up. Gortash takes full advantage of this with Nyxana. dom!Gortash in this one, although it's implied that it goes both ways.

Caught In Her Web - Malice/Zaknafein/Rizzen NSFW Dead Dove Fic - Do you like pathetic, crying, suffering drow men? Perhaps with a side of evil femdom drow lady? Well, step right up to Novarex's Crying Jaluk Show. In this tent we get off on torturing sad elves and making them cum. Chapter 1 - Malice calls Zaknafein to her bed, whereupon he arrives and is sucked into her wicked games of punishment and pleasure, of which Rizzen has been subjected to for days already. Bound and in torment, Rizzen is made to watch as Malice has her way with Zak. Chapter 2 - A few days after then events of chapter 1, Zaknafein corners Rizzen in the public baths and make it up to the sulking patron in the only way he knows how.

Discord -

Are you here for all the drow stuff? Obsessed with BG3 drow, especially Nere? How about the Drizzt books? Well, come on down to Dungeons & Drow - Novarex's Drow SIMPosium - its the discord server where you can be free to be an unhinged weirdo about drow with zero judgement.

Other Posts of Note -

Links to digital copies of FR/D&D books with information on drow

List of Menzoberranzan Houses and rankings in the last couple hundred years

List of ADDITIONAL drow houses and names in Menzoberranzan, both noble and non noble

Drow language translator - I don't know how accurate this site is, but I use it anyway.

[lirotation]

My Reaction to BG3's Latest Update

I just read Community Update #24 on steam. While others might be overjoyed, I was devastated. 

The impact was so profound that I still find myself nursing a throbbing headache

After finishing up BG3, and got slapped on the face by the ending, I was told by kind people on tumblr that a lot of content were cut. In an instant I believed it. I had to. The thoughts of Larian maliciously holding content for future paywall never occurred to me, I thought the cut must be because of time constraints or budget limitations. Dertrava replied to me on youtube, "Not all is lost yet, I think. Let's hope for additional content after such a resounding success of the game." I think that was a shared sentiment amongst Astarion fans. I won't mind paying to get more Astarion. A DLC, definitive edition, anything.

But you cannot tell me nothing was cut. That requires me to believe Astarion's arc was intended to be so limited and disjointed.  You cannot tell me his personal quest is supposed to be just a detour in another companion's quest, you cannot tell me Cazador was supposed to be a character so lacking in depth and nuance that it raises questions about the creative investment. With all the build up in act 1, You cannot tell me Cazador barely made any attempt to try to get Astarion back, and you cannot tell me he was meant to start the ritual without his first spawn like that. What? Was he aiming for a partial ascension?

How does any of that make sense?

If you tell me there is no content cut, then compromises became laziness, opportunity tradeoffs became just plain bad writing. 

I accepted that Astarion isn't necessarily a central love interest like Alistair in Dragon Age soon after I started the game, fine, but at least make him a Zevran? You know what his story feels like now? Sebastian from DAII! A DLC character that had nothing to do with the main story and inserted forcefully after everything else was made. If it is intended, why make him the poster boy? 3 years in EA, didn't Larian know how popular he is? 

Almost all of his good scenes are in Act 1, which we experienced in EA. They feel like a bait now, truly.

I thought the worst thing Larian could do to me regarding Astarion Romance is the Lord/spawn dynamic, but no, how I underestimated them. They just hate this character. He was thoroughly used and discarded.

I still love the game and will never leave a bad rating, and if there can be an Astarion DLC like Witch hunt or Trespasser, please, take my money.

[cryptid-crafted]

oh lawd, the cryptid's craftin'

Hey-ho, writeblr! After some life upheaval and major goal/process restructuring, I'm back (if the profile picture looks familiar, you've got good eyes - I used to be @/goinggremlin).

The Basics:

Alex (he/they)

Late 20s, Midwest USA

Trans man, aroace, AuDHD

On Writing:

My genres: fantasy, horror, sci-fi, occasional contemporary fiction

My influences: Tamsyn Muir, Mark Lawrence, Joe Abercrombie, Robin Hobb, Martha Wells, Yasuhiro Nightow

My favorite themes/tropes/topics/etc: death and rebirth; found family and queerness; "this shit sucks but we stay silly"; body horror; characters with guard dog vibes; "it's rotten work" / "not to me. not if it's you"; banter and witty comedy, esp. as a juxtaposition to The Horrors; trauma and its cycles; shitty people doing shitty things; grumpy (with a heart of gold) x sunshine (with a soul black as night); 2nd person POV

About Me:

I am NOT a writer with any formal training - I'm self-taught, but always interested in learning.

I've been writing consistently for nearly seven years now. I started with fanfiction and over the last year and a half have begun transitioning to more original work.

I'm really bad at interacting consistently, as most of my limited energy goes toward writing. I love sharing resources and prompts, however, and will more often participate in ask games than tag games ❤️ Community is important but I'm most often found on the fringes.

I won't post large chunks of WIP often, because I am slow (but also like privacy during drafting). I will post fun snippets of dialogue or description because I crave validation and am unashamed about admitting that.

I love swapping tips and tricks, or just generally talking about the writing process!

You can also find me on my more fan-focused blog, @thechaoscryptid! I'm a firm believer that transformative work is a valid (even necessary) part of the creative world. You may (will) hear about some of my fanwork on this blog in the context of craft or process.

Published works:

That Bright and Bitter Dawn (Queer for the New Year, Balance of Seven, 2022)

Wintersong (Many Hands, Duck Prints Press, 2024)

It Watches (Cryptid Carols To Sing In the Dark, Memento Vivere Press, 2024 - upcoming)

WIPs:

(to be updated at a later date)

Behind the Blog:

In addition to writing, you'll also hear about cooking and knitting and cat parenting, oh my! I've been passionate about food since I could pick up a knife; knitting is a recent but rewarding hobby I pick at when I need something to do with my hands.

I have three cats (Shino, Rorschach, and Chaos) and two snakes (Jormungandr and Oda).

I work third shift (at a book warehouse!) and am usually pretty brain/pain foggy, so if I space on an ask or tag game...it's not you, it's me.

I fandom hop SO much, largely around the anime scene (Trigun, Naruto, SK8: the Infinity, BNHA, Bungou Stray Dogs...so many more...). I'm also a huge BG3 and FE:3H enthusiast, even though video games aren't usually my go-to.

This year I've been plowing through a lot of fantasy and sci-fi books that I hope to be able to sit down and write down my thoughts about!

I'm also a huge music enthusiast, and listen to a lot of metal and folk music. Favorite bands include (but are definitely not limited to) Sabaton, Fish In A Birdcage, Autoheart, Faun, Delain, and Port Sulphur Band.

That's about it! My ask box is always open (my DMs are not, unless specifically invited please), and I'm looking forward to dipping my toes into the writeblr waters once again.

[warmhealerr]

18+ - Minors Do Not Interact.

Adult content sometimes. Even if it weren't the case I just don't want minors here. My Instagram is not my Tumblr.

I am Barnabas, though you can also call me Barney! I use he/they pronouns interchangeably.

I'm a hobbyist who writes and draws. I am currently deep in a DND phase kickstarted by BG3. I am fond of all things Gith- peoples, though Githyanki especially. I also love Deep Gnomes, and undead, go figure.

I am otherwise writing The City Of Dust aka TCOD (name to be changed) which I might post about from time to time. It has been my personal passion project for 7 years now.

If that information matters to you I am a French in France who stays awake at ungodly hours and wants out of here HAHA.

BOUNDARIES/"DNI"

I feel childish adding more to this section for some reason but it is necessary, so might as well get on with it.

I know how to curate my online experience like any other, and I also love dark media and kink, but I genuinely politely ask that you do not follow me (assuming you've read this) if you post or reblog fetish incestuous content. I like quickly checking and/or following people's blogs when it seems we've common interests! There's only so much curating I can do when someone with no specific warnings anywhere on their account does not tag it, which has been a more common occurrence than I'd prefer. This also goes for adult/minor fetish content. Please and thank you.

No gen AI.

I otherwise block whoever I please for reasons completely unrelated to former points. My blog history and bio might give you insight as to what. I also do not like people who revel in being the most shocking, mean spirited, judgemental and edgy in the room.

Finally, petty intercommunity validity discourse is the bane of my existence.

TAG INFO AND MORE UNDER THE CUT

NOTE 1

I suffer from serial social media liking disease. Apologies, I don't mean to spam/be obnoxious.

NOTE 2

I am ND and very mentally ill. My casual everyday (like you are reading right now) writing might be noticeably overcompensating, too cold, too warm, far too descriptive, or redundant alongside suffering at times from poor punctuation and vocabulary (though that is also on the fact English is not my first language). I am well aware though I'm trying to avoid awkwardness, sorry about that.

TUMBLR STUFF

ASKS

I welcome any ask no matter its content (that includes asks of an adult nature).

TAGS

I am God awful at tagging things even though I have been using Tumblr for at least 5 years now. I am especially forgetful when it comes to character or ship tags. This is an attempt at changing that.

#rambling for when I talk about... Nothing.

Feel free to request ship or character tags (as I usually forget them) in my ask inbox. My ship tag format usually goes #x/y.

I usually do not tag suggestive content (I just don't think about it, this blog is already 18+). I will tag explicit adult stuff with #nsft.

Content warning tags will use a single word, like #gore. This is to avoid typing gore cw instead of cw gore (for example) in case someone doesn't have that former tag iteration blocked.

I usually do not phobia tag (I might sometimes tag specific living beings like #bugs or #spiders. It is for archive navigation purposes but perhaps you could find it useful to hide them).

Feel free to request CW tags in my ask inbox.

MY TAGS

#myart for my visual art : from sketches to fully rendered, anything goes. I describe my rendered art for the visually impaired, and/or comprehensive visual clarity for an easier analysis. I usually do not describe sketches especially if posting a bunch of them.

#my writing for any kind of writing I put out. I don't write lots of polished stuff though. It's mostly summaries, script drafts and ideas I use to communicate with myself first, and then other people. It's hardly literature imo.

My individual OC tags go "#charactername tag" for easy navigation purposes.

"#Fist of the Comet" additional tag for Ta'rath post BG3 campaign

"#underdark siblings" for Joufos/Oulmat/Zilkon, their other family members and Oulmat's patron.

#TCOD for TCOD (until name changes).

I will add more tags here once relevant. Thank you.

Ta'rath spin...

[des-no9]

11, 12, and 60 for the writing asks!

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

Does this mean 3 of my fav I've written? Or 3 others? My dumbshit brain crying. Anyway I'll link 3 of mine.

I'll just pick one from BG3 and it's probably this one so far.

V. The second fic in my Vanquish/Voss series and it meant I could really get my hands into the meat of their developing feelings, characters and this strange, initially, transactional relationship.

These two are from JJBA pt5 and I think they're some of my peak works (if you can get past the stupid names of jojos lmao). I wrote a lot for that fandom. Canon/canon diverge, AUs, rare pairs galore. Lots of unhealthy and abusive relationships. Anyway, these two are my fav.

oh, but what a terrifying view trying to leave your abuser is hard six rounds don't make a right a rekindled relationship between two lovers who tried to kill eachother, focused around russian roulette.

12. how does receiving or not receiving feedback/support impact you?

Unfortunately (or fortunately for receiving feedback/support) it can impact me a lot. I have BPD (v open about it. needs to be talked about more normally) so for things like this it can be very one end of the scale or other. I struggle a lot to find that nice middle ground of acceptance and moving on. But it's something I try desperately all the time to work on.

Getting feedback, support, comments, reblogs, kudos etc. is probably my biggest motivator full stop. All I want is for my words, my art, to reach people and move them. Linger with them. Create a memory.

I want my words to be my legacy.

60. Have you had a writer you admire comment on your fic? What was that like?

Yes, often! I'm usually in small ponds in fandoms writing for rarepairs, sometimes creating them/there at the beginning so it's so often that I get to know the writers for the ships I'm writing for very early on and we become fandom friends etc.

It always means the world when the writers I admire comment on my work. They take the time out of their day to read my stuff, say they liked it, often what they like about it, and I can get into their head about what about my writing they like. Sometimes it surprises me, sometimes I totally get it lol. I try to not be parasocial. I try to be more community focused, but when someone else you look up to says they love something you did, it's always a wonderful feeling.

Addition to the above - especially because many of the writers I really admire are close in style to me. Or a little experimental like me it really sparks the joy.

[bumblerhizal-art]

2023 Writing Roundup

thanks for tagging me @shivunin! this is a cute little game and real test of my sloppy bookkeeping XD

words posted: 44,806 (Ao3)

additional words written: 5370 (google drive) and i have so many misc scrawlings handwritten in journals or lost in my notes app or god knows wherever else but i will not be hand counting any of those ty 😅

grand total of words: 50,176

fandoms: Mostly Dragon Age! But also a little token Legend of Zelda and Dungeons & Dragons, and if we're including unpublished, i've also written a tiny bit of BG3 and Fire Emblem

highest kudos: Blood Lotus at 19 kudos

highest hit oneshot: Tangled at 209 hits

new things I tried: this was my first time doing any sort of longfic (which 30k may not qualify by all people's standards but definitely by mine)

fic I spent the most time on: Rites of Passage is the longfic in question! It was one i had brought with me from the previous year and continued to spend a lot of time on, and now it's my longest published work

fic I spent the least time on: Diminishing Returns was written i think across maybe 1 or 2 afternoons

favorite thing I wrote: To Aid and Abet It's a hard choice, but in the interest of not repeating fics here... 😅 For this one, i got to combine apostate!Soris and baby Tabris shenanigans! Technically for a prompt but still so self-indulgent XD

favorite thing(s) I read: Oh boy, i did a terrible job of reading this year and even worse at keeping track of the ones i did find the time to sit down for. So this is more of a splash of fics published/updated this year by the two mutuals i read the most because the only course of action i can think of is to go to their Ao3 accounts

The Battle of Ostagar by Heniareth (23,773 words): Astala Tabris wakes after her Joining in the Warden encampment at Ostagar. As the battle approaches, she negotiates her employee contract and spies on war tables. Then, when the darkspawn forces arrive, it all goes to shit. Multiwarden

The Naming Day by Heniareth (3,469 words): Zevran and Astala Tabris's adopted children learn about naming days. On the first one they get to celebrate, the naming day girl has a delightful time on her treasure hunt while her younger brother struggles to communicate through his still-limited sign language why he is so worried

Have Warden, Will Travel by wild_houseplant (244,394 words): Autistic Warden recruits Zevran. Shenanigans ensue. Follows the Blight through Zevran's POV with a focus on his relationship with Rhodri Amell. Disclaimer that i am not caught up

Fruit shopping for the remarkably well-moneyed by wild_houseplant (497 words): Is it cheating to list a fic that was gifted to me? A cute little scenario around our BG3 multiplayer wherein my noble Ellyrian gets made the butt of the joke for having zero sense of personal economics

writing goals for 2024: I want to keeping track of my writing throughout the year in such a way that next December i can do an end-of-year wrap up where i can present an excerpt from each month i've written like how i already do with my drawings (also continue writing and publishing in general so i can make my spreadsheet beautiful!)

new works: 11

[jynxeddraca]

My Personal Infernal Dictionary

While writing fanfiction I realized that there is not really any 'official' Infernal sources online outside of what the script itself looks like. So I've made my own little ongoing reference for it for when I write. Some is taking directly from the game itself, some from random places online and I just tweak it so it sounds good to me. For anyone who's interested, below the read more is what I currently have written and I'll be adding to it as I need to.

Headcanon on the language itself:

Infernal is the language of the Hells and by proxy, tieflings. Infernal is notoriously dependent on context and double meaning to really gain what is actually being said. Infernal Legalese is even more so dependent on these as well as literal translations of words in addition to generally understood meanings - and example being Mizora's contract with Wyll saying he'd hunt "Devils, demons, the heartless, and the soulless." with "heartless" being the phrase used to order him to hunt down Karlach who - literally - does not have a heart.

Not all tieflings know Infernal due to many of them being raised by non-tieflings or having been abandoned. Generally though, tieflings raised by other tieflings will be fluent in Infernal, and those that weren't raised by tieflings normally will gravitate towards tieflings in communities where they can and often pick up infernal even though they may never be fluent. Because of this there are many pidgins and local dialects of Infernal, though they are generally understandable between speakers.

Words/Phrases

Sharee: Meaning 'cheers' or maybe 'turnip'

Source: BG3, Danis at the tiefling party. Tav did furrow her brow when Danis said 'Or maybe turnip' so I don't think it would.

Mragreshem: Going with the idea of 'shit stain'. 'mrag' = shit 'reshem' = stain

Source: BG3, tiefling at the Risen Road watching the githyanki kill the Flaming Fist. She calls Tav this and it doesn't sound nice. Tav says "You're the mragreshem for taking that tone with me."

Komira also says "I don't give a mrag" which is why I think this is probably a compound word.

Hrasting: Could be like 'dang', 'darn', or 'damn' depending on context

Source BG3, tiefling on the Risen Road watching the Githyanki kill the Flaming Fist. "Nobody, just another hrasting fool trying to stay alive."

Duzzdy Aly: "Little one"

Source: Partially from a random Infernal translator online and then tweaked to my liking. Used in the fanfic.

Kch-kch/Chk-chk: Not so much a word as a sound mimicking a chicken or metal boots walking depending on context.

Tiefling urchin warning that some kind of peace keeper/lawman is coming and to leave quickly.

Te-te: Casual and affectionate way to say 'little sister'

Not necessarily always used for blood siblings, can also be used by close friends. Especially if those friends are younger than you or physically smaller than you.

Kakiz: 'Ass'

Zizzy: Generally used to refer to a daughter, normally aimed at eldest daughter.

Kakiz Kach: Literally 'ass resident'

Used to refer to an extremely shitty situation.

Daj: 'A steady repeating beat or rhythm' loosely 'heart'

When used about music, it is referring to the pace of the music itself, but can be used to refer to any steady or repetitive sound such as marching, clapping, etc…

When used to describe someone, you are referring to that person as being the beating of your heart and/or the rhythm of your life.

Muz: 'mouse'.

Very quick and sharply said when you want to call someone a coward.

Source: https://www.worldanvil.com/w/axora-amazingchi/a/horrons-guide-to-infernal-idioms--insults-article

Nu'pyt: 'no soul'

Someone who shows very little or no empathy towards other people, generally does not care about others at all. Cold and detached person.

Kydiv zurzum kakiz: Literally 'sword', 'up', 'ass'.

Essentially, you're wishing for something sharp to find its way up a place where something sharp really ought not go up.

Source of original: https://www.worldanvil.com/w/axora-amazingchi/a/horrons-guide-to-infernal-idioms--insults-article note that I have tweaked it for my own personal dictionary.

Nul: 'piece of', 'part of'

Could also be used to say something isn't whole.

[in-the-belly-of-dragons]

The disparity of content between comoanions truly saddens me, this is a good additional context

I live in a vain hope that Larian will add some extra scenes for other characters (I hsvent heard of the Wyll re writes but as im in act 2 it justs as how blabd he deels compared to the other, he has building blocks forva really cool and engaging character with a good va but the racist "feedback" from EA would not surprise me with how some chunk of dnd and gaming communities are)

It does seem taht even if it wasnt malicious to favour Astarion with the scenes, it seems luke such an oversight. I was surprised to see that the kead writer graduated in 2020 and eems to not have experience with a game that has so much writing as bg3 (from my gkance at their portfolio). Larian games have so much writing, so maby lines of dialogue and narrator, main and sude quest and unique lines for npcs and it seems to me that with the sheer quantity of text, it takes some skill to not loose the sight of things. Which is not an excuse for the writing team or the head writer with bot balancing how much content companions get, but it might be a conteibuting factor.

I'm not sure how much can be added postcrealease but if we got a better ending for Karlach maybe we can some extra scenes. I do hope they'll think about doing that, I wish there was a specifi roadmap of uodatesvto come but I couldn't find any

i had not seen the "durge/astarion is canon!" post until earlier today with that discord screenshot and honestly ... a writer being like "i managed to shove in all this extra content for astarion/dark urge, but then we simply ran out of time for the other characters" is not good, actually. that doesn't mean your ship is the most canon. it means that astarion kept getting extra attention and other companions kept getting neglected. that other companions simply do not have the amount of content astarion has is not a good thing, it is a bad thing.

and like i'm saying this as someone who really loves astarion/durge. it's unplatable to me and that larian writers are sitting in fan discords going "yeah we just didn't do that for other characters but somehow i found the time for this!" is kind of gross to me