#this is mostly due to the zenin and what they did to him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

nana-gumi · 9 months ago

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devoted f.toji

pairings: fushiguro toji x fem! reader

cw: heavy angst, arranged marriage, illness, inaccurate descriptions of heart disease (just did some research lol), megumi is 5 years old, mentions of abuse, some kissing, mentions of pregnancy, drinking, toji is giving mixed signals, suggestive themes, lots of cursing, happy ending. wc: 18k

a/n: this was a filo au that i posted on tiktok, but due to problems posting on tiktok, the story wasn't finished and now here it is with an ending!! sorry for the long wait my tiktok readers 🥹 i'm sorry if the ending did not meet your expectations :') will post the angst ending soon

despite the years his past wife died, he still couldn't move on. it's up for the fate to decide if you could change him.

happy ending | alternate angst ending

being an outcast in your family is the worst. you were forced to marry someone who's like you.

toji fushiguro, an outcast in his family and both of you were forced to marry each other. you've heard rumors about him. mostly bad ones. his father's company is famous after all.

toji have a son from his deceased wife. the time you met his son, megumi, you thought the kid will hate you but it was the opposite. he welcomed you, even told you that he was happy he finally has a mother.

you and toji never really interacted with each other that much, only if needed, like family gatherings or when megumi is around. who would want to show a kid that you're not interested with each other, right? but when it's just the two of you, both were completely a stranger to each other. there were times were you wanted to start a conversation because sleeping in one bed was awkward especially when there's no conversation at all.

you did start a conversation at some point but toji's presence was intimidating enough to shut you up. as time passes by, you're getting used to his presence. he seemed to be scowling at all times but you noticed that, that's just how he is. you continued to interact with him until you and him finally got comfortable with each other, where good morning and good nights were exchanged. but then you've grown attached to the man, especially his son.

when you asked toji why his last name is fushiguro, he told you that it was his deceased wife's last name. toji still refused to bring back his last name which is supposed to be zenin. he told you that his family once forced him to use zenin again but toji simply ignored them. even though toji was an outcast, none of his family couldn't argue with him so he kept the last name fushiguro while you stick with your own last name.

being an outcast, you didn't feel any love from your family and the simple things toji showed you made you feel loved. that night he let you borrow his jacket when it started to snow unexpectedly, those times where he makes extra coffee for you, he would even let you hug him if you have nightmares and most of all, he defends you from your family.

that's what you loved, no– love about him. but you wonder, does toji feel the same? and the answer was already obvious. toji only accepted the marriage because he doesn't have a choice. they will remove him from the business his family owns and he doesn't want that because he needs money for his son, megumi. he promised his deceased wife that he'll take care of megumi after all.

and you adore toji for that. sometimes you think, will toji cherish you the same way he does with his deceased wife? even if his wife died many years ago, he still have the love he has for her, as if she's still around to feel it.

you were currently laying on the couch as you hug yourself for warmth. it wasn't an argument with toji, but you just want to be left alone for now. the words "i love you" accidentally slipped out of your mouth, and you didn't mind if toji doesn't reply and you just hoped he didn't reply to it at all.

"i love you, toji." you whispered, enough for him to hear and his eyes looked guilty as he looked away from you.

"you shouldn't." toji replied. "you'll just hurt yourself."

"i know."

"you know we're married only in papers, we already decided to be just friends." you already know that, but you couldn't just hold back anymore, and of course he would say that. toji thinks no one could replace the love his deceased wife showed and gave him. she was there at his lowest point, she comforted him, told him the words he doesn't know he deserves to hear and toji just couldn't open his heart to love someone, at least not anymore. his wife was enough, megumi addressing you as his mother is enough, even a part of toji doesn't want it.

you glanced at the ring he's caressing on his finger. it should be the ring you placed on his finger on the wedding day but instead, it was the promise ring his wife had gave him. your heart couldn't ache anymore. you're so used at the empty feeling that it doesn't hurt you anymore.

"i'm sorry.." you mumbled as you excused yourself, deciding to just sleep on the couch. there you've grown to realize that being attached with toji fushiguro was the biggest mistake you'll ever done but you'll never regret.

you woke up with a shuffling beside you. you opened your eyes and saw megumi with his small blanket on his hand as he frowned at you.

"mama, it's cold." megumi said as he hurriedly draped his blanket above you.

"it's fine, megumi." you smiled at him as megumi tucked his small body on your arms.

"mama, did papa make you cry?" megumi asked and you pinched his nose as you disagree with his question.

"no megumi, mama fell asleep here while watching." you said.

"okay, i love you mama." megumi said and it has been minutes since he said those words and you were still silent that it made megumi look up at you.

"mama, i love you." he repeated with a hushed tone.

"i―" it was as if you choked on something as you embraced the child. "i love my baby too." you muttered.

after that conversation with toji, everything feels weird as if it's reminding you of your place, that you were forced to marry toji to strengthen your family's bond with the zenin's.

"papa loves you too." megumi mumbled and you just hoped it was true.

toji's mother suddenly visited that day without a notice and toji wasn't around. his family doesn't really hate you but there's always a weird atmosphere around when you're close with them. just when his mother asked where toji was, he suddenly came back from work.

you knew he went here in rush, and the way he wrapped his arms around you as his lips came in contact with your forehead made your heart flutter. but you reminded yourself that it was only for a show. his mother smiled at the scene as toji sat beside you on the dining table.

"what brings you here, ma." toji asked in an annoyed tone.

"i just wanted to visit my grandson." you excused yourself a bit as you made your way towards the kitchen to make them something to eat and drink, and when you came back, the question you and toji were avoiding got asked by his mother.

"when do you plan on having another child?" she asked.

"no plans yet, we're to busy to have another child running around. megumi is enough."

"it's been a year since you're both married. why not give it a try?"

"ma―" you cut toji off before he could say something harsh to his mother.

"we did try it, ma, but it didn't really work so we decided to just wait for the right time." you answered, lied for toji and his mother seemed to buy it.

"ok.. but i am getting old, toji. we need to see a female granchild too." she said before excusing herself to go to her grandson who was playing. toji huffed at her mother's response as he stood up from the chair.

"i am sorry about that, toji." you said because as much as possible, you wanted to avoid answering that question too. toji sighed as he left the kitchen to get changed and when he went back to the living room, his mother was about to leave.

finally. he thought.

"just give it a try." toji's mother told you as she went inside her car.

"why'd she go here without informing me." toji muttered as megumi sat between you and him on the couch, showing the chocolate his grandmother gave him.

"i was surprised too."

"that's fine, thank you for covering up for me." he said as he stood up from the couch and took the chocolate on megumi's hand while carrying him. megumi whined in surprise as his father carried him like a sack of rice as you slowly followed behind.

"papa!" he exclaimed, kicking and punching but it was no use.

"come on, we don't want mama to get mad for eating to much sweets at night." toji said. he wasn't talking about you, you know that.

he placed megumi down beside the refrigerator as he placed the chocolate inside.

"too much sweet is not good for you." toji said as he carried megumi once again.

you just finished washing the dishes as you walked past megumi's room, and their muffled voices made you eavesdrop at their conversation, and you maybe you just didn't.

"megumi, why are you being so stubborn? you don't want mama to get mad right?"

"mama doesn't get mad at me!" megumi yelled as you smile a bit at his words.

"megumi, did you already forget your real mama, hm? she'll be sad in heaven. you want that?" toji said and his words was like a needle that was continuously poking at your chest.

"huh? but mama is here." megumi said, pointing at the door.

"look, (name) is just a replacement for your mama, but your real mama? she loves you, her love for you couldn't be replaced by someone."

"even (name)?" megumi said, and the way he addressed you by your name, you admit hurts. you took a deep breath as you felt a sharp pain in your chest. but that's fine, you're already used to it.

"yes, now go and sleep okay?"

"okay."

megumi started acting awkwardly towards you the next day, he was trying his best to avoid your gaze, maybe even you. he would stutter through his words between calling your name or 'mama'.

"bye bye, (name).." megumi looks away at you as he held toji's hand.

"bye bye." you replied as you forced a smile and megumi looked back once at the front door as they finally left the house.

"papa, i don't want to see mama sad." megumi said as toji placed his seatbelt. megumi might be a kid but he can clearly understood human emotions. when he called you by your name earlier, he saw how your smile disappeared but then you covered it up by a forced smile, and you just let him call you by your name.

"she's not sad-"

"yes she is."

"you don't understand, megumi." toji said and megumi only kept quiet because he knew arguing with his father is useless.

megumi jolted awake. he fell asleep after being in school the whole day as he searched for your presence. he had a dream, a really bad one and he found you in your and his father's room, talking to someone in your phone. megumi heard a sob coming out of you. you said something that megumi couldn't quite hear as you finally ended the call. he watched as you wiped your tears with your palms and took a deep breath. megumi silently close the door as he went back to the living room, sitting patiently as you appeared on his view.

"oh, megumi. how was your sleep?" you asked as you kneeled infront of the boy. megumi observed your eyes, they were a bit red.

"it's fine, mama." you were taken aback. he's calling you mama again. you smiled as you cupped his chubby cheeks.

"are you hungry?" you asked and he nods as you guided him on his feet. he didn't let go of your hand.

"mama, i love you. you're my one and only mama." you felt megumi's small hands squeeze your big ones, as if he's reassuring you of something.

"i love you too, my one and only baby. now let's go and prepare dinner!" megumi noticed that your mood shifted, and he was proud of himself that he was the one who brought a smile on your face.

it's unusual for you to wake up with toji's arms around you. you knew toji didn't do it on purpose, he was drunk last night and you just want to indulge the moment, even just for a minute or even seconds. you felt toji moved and you immediately stood up from the bed.

why do you feel guilty? it's not like you and toji were cheating on his wife. but that's how you felt. toji was still sleeping as you sighed, placing the blanket above him as you went out of the room.

"good morning, mama!" megumi greeted as he closed his ipad off.

"morning, 'gumi. what do you want for breakfast?"

"anything you cook!" he answered as he sat on the kitchen stool, watching you prepare the ingredients you needed.

"pancakes or rice?"

"rice!"

"okay." you laughed at his energetic response.

"mama can we buy art materials later? my teacher said we'll do arts on monday."

"sure, let's go out after we eat."

toji heard you and megumi talking as he arrived the living room. and just as he was about to enter the kitchen, your body bumped on his chest.

"oh, i was about to wake you up. breakfast is ready." you said, about to went back to the table but toji held your arm to stop you for a moment. he placed his other hand behind his head as he looks away.

"did i said something weird? last night." he asked as you look at him for a moment before you shake your head left to right. toji sighed in relief as he let go of your arm, both of you sitting on the kitchen stool. you look at toji, and he looks at you, but you couldn't meet his eyes as you smiled at megumi and place the food on his plate.

you just finished brushing your teeth as you were disturbed with a loud thud outside the bathroom.

"toji? are you there?" you called.

it was as if your soul went out of your body for a second, toji appeared infront of you. a curse slipped out of your mouth as toji's weight fell on you.

this was your first time seeing toji drunk, even your first time encountering a drunk person and you really don't know what to do so you tried your best to pull him with you in the room since he was so heavy.

once you opened the door of your room, you and toji fell on the ground. does his wife encountered this event a lot of times? if so what did she do?

toji was whispering something. you couldn't quite hear him as you placed your ear close to his mouth, the smell of alcohol getting stronger than it was and he was apologizing. you were confused as you move away from him.

"toji, i can't carry you anymore." you said, trying to wake him up as toji's eyes slightly opened.

"my wife." he whispered, you don't know if that certain beat in your heart was because he called you his wife or maybe because he mistook you of his wife.

and the next words he uttered is what you didn't expect as he suddenly placed his hand on your cheek and you were completely frozen in your spot as he continued to speak.

toji's hand finally slipped from your face as his head fell on your shoulder and you sit there, processing the words he said just a minute ago

he didn't mistook you as if wife, he indeed called you his wife and it warmed your heart.

"mama?" you were out of your thoughts when you felt megumi's hand above yours. "are you okay?" he asked as you look at him and then at toji.

"i'm fine, what was it again?" you asked, facing megumi as he smiled at you.

"papa will go with us later!" he said.

"oh? is that so?" you said as you look at toji, waiting for his answer.

he laughs at your reaction.

"looks like you don't want to?" he joked.

"it's not like that! it's always just me and megumi, since you're always busy.." you responded.

"yeah, today's a day off." you cursed internally. you have an appointment to the doctor today, you thought taking megumi with you would be fine, but toji? what reason should you tell him? you couldn't possibly say that you have a family meeting. no, you don't even have someone you can call a family, except for this two. plus toji would be updated if there's a family gathering.

maybe you'll ask the doctor to move appointments.

"are you sure? though i'm not sure when my schedule's gonna be clear again, (name)."

"it's fine choso, i can wait, just update me."

"sorry about that, i'm busy these days plus yuuji's been wanting attention too."

"is that so?" you said as you smile. "i want to meet him soon! looks like he's a good kid."

"soon, i'll bring him to the hospital with me."

"okay, see you next time then?"

"yeah. and (name), don't stress yourself too much, it's bad for the heart." you smiled at his words.

"of course, thank you. bye."

"who's choso?" startled by the voice, you immediately hid your phone behind you.

he was eavesdropping.

toji raised his eyebrow at your reaction as he opened his cabinet.

"a friend of mine."

"really? didn't know you have a friend." toji said in a voice you couldn't recognize, it was as if he's mocking you. you scoffed at him, deciding to just ignore his words.

you were about to leave the room but toji's voice stopped you.

"if you're starting to date someone, don't inform megumi about it. or he'll be sad." he said, mumbling the last sentence as you left. did toji really thought you were dating someone even if you're married already?

sure everything is one-sided, but you just don't have it in you to date someone, not when toji already has your heart, your everything. even if he doesn't know it. but you think it's better for toji to assume that choso is something in your life than choso just being an appointed doctor.

toji was too drunk when he got home and he think he just saw his deceased wife, but when he approached the person, it turned out to be you.

toji noticed that he was at the bathroom and felt your hands on his arms as you place it on your shoulder. he felt drinking that day, he wanted to forget everything or maybe when his wife appeared on his dream last night, the words he told her. he didn't want to wake up that night.

toji already forgot her face, her voice, how her hands felt on his. he already promised that they will meet again. in next life or in another universe. it doesn't matter where, as long as he could meet his wife again. but his wife told him in his dreams that he should move on, and he couldn't just do that.

toji did saw your efforts. he saw how you care for him, especially megumi. but he couldn't just stop himself from comparing you to his wife on his mind. no one could ever replace his wife. toji squinted his eyes, he saw you trying to pick him up.

"toji, i can't carry you anymore." but your words was a blur to him.

toji's hand twitched and moved on its own as he sat up from the floor.

"i'm sorry, i can't." he muttered as he placed his rough hand on your cheek, observing your eyes as he leaned his forehead on yours. "i can't love no more. i can't love you the same way. i'm sorry."

toji was the man of your dreams.

he might not know it but toji saved your life, he saved you from the hands of your greedy parents.

"i can't love you the same way, i'm sorry." the way he said those words were filled with guilt.

sometimes you put yourself on his place. if you were the one that has a past lover who died, of course it'll be hard to move on, especially when that person made you feel love and gave you the world.

toji was miserable back then, not until he met her. she fixed him. just like you and toji, you met him and he fixed you. the only difference was they loved each other. she loved him and he loved her, while you love him but he was stuck in the past.

there were times where you watch him sleep, not in a bad way, but just want to admire him where you whisper your love for him. he won't hear it of course. his dreams must be more entertaining than the words you're whispering to him.

toji's words that night made an impact to you. everything he does for you, you started viewing it as him just doing it for kindness and not for love. maybe toji just doesn't want to hurt you further because he knew how badly your family treated you back then. you were on the same page after all.

now you realized that maybe it was bound to happen, that being married with toji is enough, being a mother figure to megumi was enough. he already did enough for you, for taking you away from your hell life. you'll just pay him back by doing what you should for him and megumi.

you'll just love him silently. you'll bury your feelings deep inside your heart that only you, yourself knew. maybe wait for him to finally acknowledge you. but you knew it wouldn't happen this time around.

for now, you'll just watch him love someone who wasn't even around anymore.

toji was showing you a picture of his past wife because you asked him to see her. she looked a lot like megumi, but a female version. now you know why toji fell in love with her. even in the picture, it was already obvious that his wife was kind and a loving person. but you're kind and a loving person too, aren't you? the universe is so unfair.

"this is when she was 7 months pregnant." toji said as he pointed a specific picture. you smiled at his words as you continue to listen to him. but toji suddenly went silent all of the sudden and closed the album as he cleared his throat.

"why, did you want to see it?" he asked as he placed the album back inside his drawer.

"just curious, she looked a lot like megumi." you said as you lean your head on your knees, facing him. "how did you meet her?"

"it was an arranged marriage too." he said. "i wasn't really favored with it but i don't have a choice." toji smiled. how can a person like her make him smile like this when you can't? "she was simple, i suddenly fell in love with her." toji said with adoration in his voice as he looked at you.

you sighed as you lay flat on the bed and started stretching your arms.

"ah, i wonder if someone would love me that way too." you sighed as you turned your back on him.

"you will, but that couldn't be me." he said straightforwardly as if reminding you that you couldn't change his mind anymore and it made you curl yourself on the sheets.

"are you and that choso dating?" toji asked as you turn to face him. he was leaning his back on the headboard with a laptop on his lap.

"no? why'd you assume we're dating?"

"you've been going out a lot these days, i just thought."

"are you okay with that?" you asked.

"of course." and he didn't even hesitate which hurt you more. "i mean, maybe he's the one you're looking for?" toji said as he closed the laptop, the surroundings being engulfed with darkness, the bright moon outside being the only source of light.

but you're already here. you wanted to say those words but you already knew what he'll respond to it. toji lay flat on the bed as he placed his arms behind his head while you were still facing him.

"not gonna answer my question?"

"oh? what was it again?"

"i said maybe choso is the one you're looking for."

"toji-"

"i just want what's best for you, y/n. you know, i can't really.."

"toji, i already know that. choso is just a friend, nothing more, nothing less." you said followed by a sigh. "at least just let me be by your side." you whispered, hoping that he heard even just a bit of it.

"if you insist, but i already warned you." toji said.

"i know.." toji was just beside you, but he's far within your reach. has it always been like this? every night, you and toji always ends the day with a conversation, same question with the same answers and toji will end up with his back facing you. every night, you couldn't sleep. only whispering those three words to him hoping and praying that he'll hear it and say it back.

every i love you's that was whispered were left hanging on the air. sometimes it was tiring, thinking of the words toji said that maybe he wasn't really for you and you weren't the one for him.

"good night." you mumbled.

"good night." he replied and everything was dark.

i love you, toji.

those words you utter to yourself every single day and night, hoping that he'll say it back, maybe just once, and it might heal the void inside your heart. but not a single day he said it back.

toji felt guilty but he shouldn't be feeling this way. you were just married on papers and already agreed that being friends was enough. yet he couldn't help but watch as you curl yourself, as if seeking for a comfort he knew he couldn't give you. he apologized on his mind, he couldn't say it out loud because he knew how it would hurt you more, so he just stayed silent.

toji switched off the lights as he lay comfortably to the side with your back facing him. he doesn't know how long he's been closing his eyes but sleep just couldn't take over him.

"i love you, toji."

he froze on his spot and his body tensed as he heard you whispered those words. he then felt your fingers caress the scar on his lips.

"i'm sorry if you ever feel guilty for not returning my love for you. but always know that i understand you." you whispered and your touch disappeared on his skin as he felt your warmth get close to him. "i'll keep waiting, maybe someday.." minutes passed, toji was still waiting for you to say something but you were already silent.

he opened his one eye and the first thing he saw was your back, there were a space between you and him.

is it always this far? are you always this far from him? toji doesn't know. he tried to reach for you but he stopped himself. and then again, another apology had slipped on his mind. he couldn't say it back, not when he swore to only say those words to the person he loves.

toji finally closed his eyes as the sleepiness take over his body. he knew that the one for you, who'll cherish you, love you like how you deserve it will eventually come and toji was already certain that it wasn't him.

it was really true that first love never dies now that you've experienced it and toji was enough proof. you couldn't stop loving him the way he couldn't stop loving his past wife. how can you even wish someone to just die when they're already dead? it was weird but were you too cruel for that?

you just hope that someday, toji will look at you the way you've always been wanting and craving. you'll wait, even if your and his hair turns white or even if you only have enough time to live.

"just this once?" you whispered as toji held your cold hands as he placed it on his cheek.

toji closed his eyes as he placed your hand back on the bed, hospital bed.

"i'm really sorry.." he whispered back and it was enough for you to hear it.

a small laugh left your lips. it's so hard even to laugh now.

"that's fine, at least thank you for being here."

"i'll say it if you want."

"don't say something you don't mean, toji." you smiled at him.

"yeah, i guess so."

you sit up from the bed as you wake up. it was just dream, but it felt to real for it to be a dream.

you couldn't help but cry as you cover your mouth as you felt a hand on your back.

"what's wrong? another nightmare?" toji asked. even in your dreams, in your death bed, toji still didn't love you. even in your deathbed, toji still couldn't love you the way you wanted it. maybe it was sign that toji doesn't have to know your condition.

he doesn't need to know.

"it's nothing, let's go back to sleep?"

you went out again. toji heard you talking to someone on the phone, he guessed it was choso. he didn't mean to follow you but he still did.

toji ended up following you on a hospital and he was confused. are you sick? toji asked himself, but you always looked fine.

he anxiously tap his finger on the steering as he waited for you on his car and it took you more than 30 minutes to finally come out of the hospital again.

why does that doctor have to send you out? even placing his hand on your back.

toji watched you enter your car. he waited for you to leave before going out of his car to enter inside the hospital.

he was hesitant as he finally arrived the front desk.

he cleared his throat as he faced the lady infront.

"is there a patient named (name)?"

"(name)?" the nurse repeated as she looked down the lists but your name wasn't there. "i'm so sorry but there is no patient named y/n here."

"ah, mr. fushiguro. did (name) send you here?" toji turned around at the voice and he was met with the same doctor he saw outside the hospital. toji's eyebrow furrowed as he fully faced him. "i'm choso by the way, y/n's doctor. i guess she already told you?"

"mama?" you heard as you enter the front door.

megumi approached you as he embraced you.

"did you just woke up?" you asked as both of you went back to the living room.

"a while ago.."

"where's your papa?"

"i woke up when he left."

"he left? but he said it's his day off today." you mumbled as you recalled his words. "anyway, what do you want for breakfast, gumi?"

as toji entered the house, yours and megumi's muffled voice can be heard at the front door. it looked like you and megumi is having fun. toji finally entered the kitchen and saw you with megumi baking a cupcake.

"papa!" megumi exclaimed as he jumped down the stool to approach his father, the icing on megumi's clothes being transferred to toji's clean ones.

"welcome back, toji. where have you been?" you asked and it suddenly smelled like cigarettes.

she looks fine. toji thought, but he was trying to stare at you as if it'll reveal something.

"toji?" you called him with concern as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"just went out. who's that for?"

"mama said she wants to try baking!" megumi answered.

"is that so?" toji said as megumi hummed in response.

toji looked at you once again, but his stare was making you uncomfortable. there's something weird about the way he looks at you and it was scaring you.

"i'll rest for a bit." toji said as he left the kitchen.

"mama, did you and papa fight?" megumi asked as he approached you.

"no megumi, he's just tired." you smiled down at megumi to reassure him and he warmly returned your smile.

toji didn't left the room that day.

you lay down beside him, still minding the space with both of your backs facing each other.

you heard shuffling behind you but you paid no mind to it. and when you turned your body to the other side, you were surprised to come face to face with toji.

"hey." you started as you slightly move back to create more space. "are you not hungry? there's still left over from the kitchen.

"i'm fine." toji replied with a low voice as you nod at his words.

"good night, toji." you said as you went back to face the other side again.

you were waiting for his reply but minute passed, he was still silent so you took a deep breath and sighed while closing your eyes. but the moment you closed your eyes, you felt him move close to you. he tucked his arms below your body and then the other above you as he easily pulled you close to him.

"good night." he replied as you look up at him with shock. did he just initiate a physical touch? he's not drunk, right?

"mhm." you simply replied, still surprised. toji didn't move away after that, he stayed still and so were you.

"are you drunk?" you asked that made toji open his eyes.

"i'm not. why asking?"

"well, it's- is this okay with you?" you asked and your voice was too small that toji almost didn't catch it.

you were out of words. it was weird for toji to act this way, especially when he's not even drunk. does he need something from you?

it hurts to think that he's only being affectionate because he needs something from you. either way, you'll still do what he'll ask you because you love him.

"are you not comfortable with it?" the way you immediately stopped him when he was about to remove his arms around you was a desperate move, but you didn't want to lose this chance because it might not happen again.

"no, i like it.. it's just, we've never done this before, shouldn't you be the one who's uncomfortable with this? i mean-"

"shh, let's just stay like this." toji murmured as he pulled you a little more close to him. his warm breath fanning on your neck.

you smiled but if felt like something was missing. you felt complete but at the same time you're not. you placed your hands on top of toji's that was around you as you give it a light squeeze.

"toji." you called his name in a whispered tone as you heard him hummed in response. "i'm not her, toji."

you didn't know why you even said those words. toji was hugging you but there were possibilities of him thinking his wife on you. because why would he suddenly do this if not for that?

as those words left your mouth, the warm presence that was comforting you suddenly disappeared. you weren't even surprised when he did that, just a tiny bit of ache in your heart.

heh, i knew it. but it's fine, i still loved it. you thought to yourself as you ended up curling your own body again, seeking for the comfort that was there just a while ago.

maybe someday, toji will hug you again, but that time, you hope he'll do it as him thinking of you, not while thinking of his deceased wife.

"i'm choso by the way, (name)'s doctor. i guess she already told you?"

"hah?" toji rasped in confusion as he looked at choso. so this was choso and he's a doctor.

not bad. toji thought.

"then why are you here, mr. fushiguro? your wife left just 5 minutes ago."

"i know." toji replied.

choso raised his eyebrow at the man in front of him.

"do you perhaps need something from me?" choso couldn't help but ask because the way toji looked at him was different.

"yes, i want to talk to you."

both of them ended outside the hospital where there were no people around.

toji slammed his hand on the wall, slightly embarrassed as he watch the doctor laugh in front of him.

"what's funny." toji rasped.

"sorry, sorry-" choso replied as he pants, he never had a good laugh these days. "mr. fushiguro, are you assuming that your wife is having an affair with me?"

"i didn't mean it that way, i was just asking if you and (name) have something."

"mr. fushiguro, ms. (name) is just my patient, i'm sorry if it came off that way." choso said as he leaned his back on the wall. "plus i know my boundaries, i wouldn't go with a married woman, y'know." toji calmed his body as he leaned his back on the wall like choso did.

"she's always talking to you on the phone, that's why i assumed."

"(name) told me a lot about you."

"i'm hoping it's the good ones."

"not even once your wife badmouthed you, mister." choso replied as he offered toji a cigarette to which he declined.

"she's not sick, is she?" toji asked.

"mhm, your wife was diagnosed with arrhythmia."

"arrhythmia?" toji faced choso at his words.

"her heartbeat is irregular, mr.fushiguro. are you not taking a good care of your wife?" choso tried to joke him but he didn't expect toji to stay silent. "well, i hope she's not lying when she said she doesn't smoke and drink?"

"no, she doesn't." toji said.

"anxiety or any emotional distress can cause this. are you perhaps having a lot of fight? her condition has been like this for a long time now."

"no, we don't fight." toji said "is it harming her that much?" toji asked

"for now, it's not. but if she doesn't take a good care of herself, it may lead to a heart failure."

"how to avoid this?" choso looked at toji in disbelief. did you seriously kept it a secret to your husband?

"toji." you called him as he was about to leave the house. "i'm sorry about last night." you said.

you frowned as you heard the front door close. toji was ignoring you. you felt guilty for saying those words last night but you just couldn't hold back anymore. it was hurting you. why would you say that when toji only wanted to be close with you?

you sighed in defeat as you turn around, continuing the dishes you were doing.

you knew how toji hated it when it's about his wife, yet you still brought it up.

"toji!" you scolded.

it was yet another night where he came home drunk, you're almost starting to get used of this scenario.

"i said don't touch me!" he yelled back as you stumbled back a bit from the force of his push.

you were getting scared. not even once toji had yelled at you, this was the first time. was the words you said really did have an impact to him? now you feel more guilty than you were. you were scared that toji would start looking at you the way your family did.

only because of the stupid words you said.

"toji." you said in a more calmer tone as you guide him on his feet.

"let go." he mumbled.

"i will. let's go to the room first, okay?" you sighed in relief when toji did what you said without saying anything.

"mama.." toji's voice must've woke megumi up as he look at you with concerned eyes.

toji shrugged his shoulders to remove your hand on his shoulders as he kneeled infront of megumi.

"megumi, mama's not here anymore." toji said.

you were taken aback but megumi was more surprised than you were that he started crying.

he was pushing toji away from him as he cry.

"i hate you!" megumi yelled as he finally free himself from toji and hugged your leg.

"it's okay, 'gumi. go back to sleep." you said as you kneeled on megumi's level while he cried in your shirt.

toji stood up by himself as he entered your shared bedroom, closing the door with a force as you flinch in surprise.

"mama." megumi cried.

"it's fine now, he's just tired."

"you say that a lot of times." megumi said as he wiped his tears. "let's sleep together, mama." you look at your room door as you nod at megumi.

maybe toji needs to have his time alone for now.

you were humming a lullaby as you sing megumi to sleep.

you already sang the lullaby 3 times already and just like you, megumi couldn't sleep at all. he knew you were crying but he decided to not talk to you.

megumi pretended to be asleep as you finally stopped humming.

he heard you took a deep breath as you pulled his small body close to you.

"night night, 'gumi." he heard you whispered as he felt the dip on his bed beside him disappear.

megumi squinted his eyes and saw you walking out of his room as the door finally closed leaving him inside his now dark room.

megumi sat up from his bed as he silently followed you.

he was tiptoeing as he followed you to the kitchen.

you were sitting there, a glass of water between your hands as you stare at nothing.

you were too drained as you wiped the remaining tears your eyes could release.

megumi was lost in his thoughts and didn't hear you walking on his way, but before you could caught him, he showed himself to you.

"megumi?" you called him, slightly surprised at his presence. "what's wrong?"

"um water, mama." he said as he noticed you smile a bit before giving him a glass of water.

"all good?" you asked as megumi tucked you and himself on the blanket as he hug you. he nods in response as he sighed in content.

"mama, i will tell papa tomorrow to say sorry." he said.

"it's fine, 'gumi. he's just tired and mama understands." you said as you brushed megumi's hair with your fingers.

"okay, i love you mama."

"i love you too, now go back to sleep you have school tomorrow."

when megumi woke up the next morning, you were still sleeping beside him. he kissed your tear stained cheek as he went out to start his day.

he found his father on the kitchen counter, holding his head with his hand.

toji noticed megumi's presence as he immediately approached his son.

"where's your mama?" toji asked as he placed his hands on megumi's shoulders.

megumi noticed that his father was restless, but he deserved it for yelling at you last night.

"say sorry to mama, papa." megumi said.

"ha? where's she?"

"in my room. mama was crying because of you!" megumi yelled, he almost wanted to cry as he recalled your unreadable expression last night. "i saw mama drink so many medicine, papa." megumi muttered.

toji massaged his temples as he made his way to megumi's room with megumi following behind.

toji slowly opened the door and sighed in relief as he finally saw you.

megumi's small blanket couldn't even cover your whole body as toji approached you and gently carried you to the bed, transferring you to your shared room.

"let's not wake up mama for now." toji said as he pats megumi's head. "i'll drive you to school."

"papa." megumi called as he fixed the seatbelt of the front seat. toji hummed in response as he waited for the street lights to turn green. "do you hate mama?" megumi was hesitant at his question.

"no." toji responded plainly.

"but you always make mama cry." megumi mumbled. "you always say that she's not my mama and it's hurting her. i always see mama cry, i just stay quiet." toji ignored his son as he started driving.

toji went back home after sending megumi to school and you were still sleeping.

he sat on the bed as he tried to recall anything that has happened last night but he couldn't remember anything.

he felt you moved as he look at you. you were finally awake.

you saw him as you sit up from the bed.

"good morning." you greeted as you rubbed your eyes.

toji was waiting for you to say something about last night but you didn't and instead smiled at him as you stretched your body.

"megumi!" you exclaimed as you realized that you were supposed to send him to school.

"i already drove him to school."

"ah really? thank you." you said as you finally relaxed your body. "then, what do you want for breakfast?"

has it been always like this? toji asked himself as he watched you prepare breakfast.

is it always like this the next day when he came home every night he's drunk?

you were all smile but this was the first time toji noticed that it was forced. is it really always like this?

toji wasn't the one to get nervous but when he recalled the nights he came home drunk, he couldn't recall anything.

he must've said or did something hurtful to you that you do not wish to tell him the next morning.

megumi was always a witness to it but you always tell him to stay quiet.

"i'll go out later." you said as he snapped out of his thoughts.

"okay. want me to accompany you?" toji noticed the way you immediately declined his request and there, he exactly knew where you're headed.

toji watched you drink the hot chocolate in your mug.

"(name)." he called.

"mh?"

"i'm sorry. if i ever did something last night."

not just last night, every time he comes home drunk, toji would say something hurtful and you were even convinced that he means some of it.

the first time he came home drunk, he told you he couldn't love you the way you love him and that was fine for you. but second time he came home drunk, he said the words i love you, but it wasn't for you. he said i love you but not your name in it. the third night he came home drunk, he compared you to his wife saying that you couldn't replace the role of being megumi's mother and you know that.

megumi was there and he cried with you saying that he loves you and don't listen to what his father said to you. but then it happened again. he watch his father get mad at everything, including you, his mother who just wanted to help him get to bed. he knew his father wasn't in his right mind because he was drunk. he cried with you again that night.

megumi got used to seeing you hiding your sobs from him. he already saw you cry silently or sometimes you just sit there to stare at nothing. megumi once caught you breathing heavily on the bathroom and there was a blood on the sink. you told him that it was nothing and megumi was just a kid, of course he would believe you that it was just nothing.

but as megumi continues to grow, he's starting to think that his father hates you. he started observing the two of you and there was nothing wrong with your relationship, except when his father is drunk. don't get megumi wrong, he still loves her real mother but you were the one who raised him. he haven't seen his mother once, only in pictures.

"(name)?" you snapped out of your thoughts as you looked from your plate to toji.

"i said i'm sorry." he said.

"it's fine, you were drunk."

"so i did said something, huh." toji cursed under his breath as he heard you laugh.

"don't worry, it's not that deep."

it was. but remembering it will only hurt you more.

you've been having nightmares these days and you don't know if it's a sign for something. every dream you had was weird. there were times where toji would appear in your dreams. sometimes he hates you and sometimes, he loves you that you don't even want to wake up anymore.

you were currently sitting inside a hospital room as choso stood meters away from you.

"are you even taking a rest like i told you to?"

"yes."

"then why is your condition getting worse?" choso's words made you look at him, he was writing something on a paper.

"really?"

"really. (name), i am telling you this now, you'll suffer the consequences if you don't listen to me."

"but i do take rest."

"taking rest isn't enough, you should avoid your heart from getting tired. have you experienced panic attack these past few weeks?"

"n-no."

"you're lying."

"i'm not."

"your husband's worried, you know." you don't know why choso words made your heart clench, but you just hope his words were true.

"really?" you said as if you weren't convinced. choso looks at you and back at the paper as he sighed.

"i'll add another medicine, make sure to take it on time."

"why do we have to do these things?" you said as choso looked up from the paper to you.

"what do you mean?" choso asked as he raised his eyebrow at you.

"i mean, isn't better to just wait until it's over?" choso got silent, clearly surprised at the words you said. you noticed his reaction as you released a nervous laugh. "what am i even saying.." you said as you laughed at yourself.

"are you even hearing yourself?"

"i know what i said, choso. but don't worry, i was just joking."

"not a funny one. you just don't know it (name) but your husband's really worried."

"if you think your words would calm me, it's not working."

"huh?" you stood up from the seat before choso could say something.

"i guess we're already done here?" you said as choso nods.

"(name). take a proper rest."

you fell asleep the moment you got home and when you went downstairs, it was messy.

the television was on full volume and megumi was nowhere to be seen. toji was on the kitchen sleeping, there was a consumed bottle of liquor beside him.

"toji." you shake him to wake him up but it didn't work at first try so you did it again.

he was awake all of the sudden as he look around the kitchen. toji was drunk again as you thought of the things that happens every night he came home drunk. you hope he would just stay silent and wouldn't say anything anymore.

"let's get you to bed." you said as you helped him stand up but before you and toji reached the room, you fell on the floor as you entered the room. and the scene was so familiar to you.

"(name)." he called as you snapped out of the memory. "(nameee)." he called again.

"i'm here." you said.

"you're here?" he said as he touched your face as if he doesn't believe you. "you're really here." he said as he smiled and embraced you.

and you, you were taken aback, but you just let him.

"why did you leave me?" he said.

there he goes again.

"hey, look at me." he said as he held your cheeks with his thumb and pointer finger.

why does looking at him hurts.

"don't ever think that i don't love you, okay? i'm so grateful that you're here.." you were waiting for it. for him to call his wife's name but you didn't expect that he'll say yours. "if i started loving you, are you going to stay?" he said and you were speechless. "i'm sick of people leaving me." he mumbled as he embraced you. "i don't want you to leave. i promise, i'll love you like how you want it. i'll do it, i'll move on from her but in exchange, don't ever leave, okay? we'll heal you, you'll be fine."

what was he even talking about? it's not like your leaving or something, right?

you sighed, brushing off his words as you placed him on the bed.

"don't force yourself to love someone, toji. go to sleep, i'll look for megumi."

you were about to leave the house as you heard sobs coming from the house. and when you followed the sound, you were surprised to see megumi who tucked himself at a kitchen cabinet.

"mama!" he said as he embraced you.

"megumi, what are you doing inside the cabinet?"

"i'm hiding." he frowned as you wiped his tears.

"from who?" you said with a soft voice to calm him.

"mama.." megumi mumbled as his voice slightly cracked. "papa said you'll leave us."

"he said that?" you said as you kneeled into his level and he nods at your question. "he's lying." you said as megumi sighed in relief and embraced you once again.

"papa said you'll leave just like my real mama." megumi pulled away from the hug as he saw your surprised expression. "it's not true, right? mama."

your forced a smile as you pinched megumi's cheeks.

"of course, mama won't leave. never."

"toji, can you drive megumi to school today?" you muttered as you saw toji who was about to leave the room.

"what was that?" toji asked as he closed the door once again and approached you. you sit up from the bed and your vision started to spin.

"bring megumi to school." you said followed with a small cough.

"yeah sure." he hesitantly said.

"thanks." you mumbled as you lay back down on the bed.

"you okay?" toji asked as you felt him sit on the bed.

"i'm fine, must be a fever." you said but toji wasn't convinced and placed the back of his palm on your forehead to your neck and you were burning. toji was about to say something but he felt your cold hands on his.

"i'm fine, don't worry." you assured him with a smile as you let go of his hand and faced the other side. you were burning but your hands were too cold.

"i'll be back." toji said, immediately leaving the room as you heard the doorknob clicked.

toji was back after sending megumi to school. megumi insisted on seeing you before leaving but if he found out you're sick, toji knew megumi wouldn't want to go to school anymore. you weren't in the room when toji entered.

he started looking for you around the house and the kitchen was the last place he expected to see you. he sighed in relief when he saw you sleeping on the table with a glass of water in your right hand. toji's eybrows furrowed as he silently approached you. he can hear your soft snores as he went closer and closer.

"(name)?" he said in a whispered tone and you woke up within a second as you look around.

"oh?" was the only word you let out as you felt toji's hands on your shoulders. "i fell asleep."

"what are you doing here?" he said as you tried to stand up but you failed. you don't have the energy even to stand up.

"i got thirsty but i got tired before i even drink water." you said as you finally drink the glass of water.

"you should see a doctor." toji suggested.

"i'm finee." you said as you let toji guide you back to the room.

slowly, you sit from the bed as toji helped you to lay down. he placed a blanket above your body and went straight to the bathroom inside the room. he went back with a wet towel and a bucket of water as he started wiping your face with it.

"thank you." you whispered, even your throat was hurting. toji didn't respond as he continued on his task and after that, toji took another towel and placed it above your head.

"toji." you called as he stopped at the door he just opened.

'can you stay please?'

how badly you wanted to ask him to stay with you, but the dreams you had before started replaying in your mind. maybe you shouldn't. "it's nothing." you said as you pulled the blanket above your chin.

toji seemed to notice your distress as he silently closed the door and approached you again.

"i will be back. i'll just buy you food." he said as you covered your whole body with the blanket.

"okay." you said and you couldn't stop yourself from smiling.

do you have to be sick for toji to look out for you? maybe being sick is not that bad after all.

toji came back after five minutes, it's not that you're counting though, you were just bored.

"where did you go?" you asked as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"i'll just order, what do you want- i mean, you can't eat anything for now, let's just order a soup." toji looked at you as he heard you laugh at his words.

"there's no need, toji. it's not that hard to cook a soup." you said as you sit up from the bed, only for toji to push you back down on the bed as you let him place the blanket above you.

"don't be stubborn."

"toji, don't tell me you can't cook a soup." you said.

"it's not like that, okay? i just-" he paused for a moment before turning his back on you. "you seemed like you want a some company, that's why i am here." he said.

speechless, that's how you describe yourself now.

"is that so?" you said as you watch him scratch his head.

"i'll do this on my own way, okay?"

"okay. but let me, i know exactly where to order a good soup."

"this looks plain as hell." toji said as he opened the soup you ordered.

"but it's delicious, and why are you complaining?" you said as you raised your eyebrow at him. "i'm the one who's gonna eat it, not you!" you exclaimed as toji huffed in response.

toji started pouring the soup on a bowl before placing a chair beside the bed. and for a moment, you look at him and he looks at you.

"it's fine, i can do it myself." you said, trying to reach the bowl on his hand but he moved it slightly away from your reach. he hesitated for a moment before taking the spoon on his finger.

"ahh." he instructed.

"toji, this is embarrassing." you muttered as you move away from the spoon.

"how are you gonna get better if you're being stubborn?"

"just let me!!"

"tch, let me handle this." he said as you, again, tried to take the spoon from him but it was useless so you did what he said as he slowly placed the spoon with soup in your mouth.

it was quiet as toji continues to feed you, until it's the last spoon of the soup, you suddenly let out a cough as the soup dripped from the corner of your mouth and to the duvet.

"oh." you mumbled as toji reached out for the tissues. "sorry." you mumbled as you started to wipe the soup on the blanket and then the corner of your mouth. "we have to change blankets, i guess."

it was too sudden that you didn't have time to process everything when toji leaned close to you. you can feel his hot breath on your cheek as he pressed his lips on the corner of your lips, with him tasting the soup he just fed you.

you were sure you were losing your breath as he pulled away as if nothing happened.

"ah, sorry." he said as if he just didn't kiss you. he started to gather the paper bag of the soup earlier and took the blanket on your hands. "i'll get a new one." he said as he finally left the room.

why is he acting so normal when you're there sitting on the bed, trying to calm your speeding heart at the moments earlier.

you cursed under your breath as you hide your face with your palms.

why are you even embarrassed when kissing is normal to a married couple? it was normal but it was unusual for toji to act like that, you haven't even hold hands with him but a kiss? that's way more unexpected.

toji gently closed the door of the room as he leaned his weight on it.

"fuck." he muttered as he clutched the blanket on his hand.

seeing you wipe the soup on the blanket with that smile on your face urge toji to do that. he himself didn't expect it too. he cursed once again before proceeding to the task in hand.

you were startled when the door opens.

it was toji carrying a new blanket.

"i'll pick up megumi soon." he said.

"what about your work?"

"i took a day off." you hoped he did because you were sick. "you can't be left alone." he said as if he just read your mind.

"oh. thank you."

"not a problem. make sure to do the same when i got sick too." he joked, but it didn't fail to put a smile on your face.

"of course, i would love too! but i'm not saying that i want you to get sick!"

"mama!" you can hear megumi's voice from afar as he finally entered your room, throwing his lunchbox bag somewhere as he approached you.

"megumi, don't get to close." you said.

"mama! are you okay?"

"megumi, stop yelling." toji said as he entered the room, picking up megumi's lunchbox bag he threw minutes ago.

"you said mama is not sick!"

"megumi, don't yell at your papa." you said as megumi finally faced you, his face turning into a frown as he faced his father once again.

"i'm sorry, papa." he muttered.

toji was impressed that you could make megumi easily obey you. a thing he couldn't do when megumi was 3 years old.

"come on, change into your home clothes." toji said as he carried megumi like a sack of rice.

"i'll be back, mama!" he said before he and toji disappeared from your view and toji came back after a minute before closing the door with a sigh.

"come and rest." you said as you pat the empty space beside you.

toji sat beside you as the surroundings became quiet. he cleared his throat as he took the plushie megumi bought you and squeezed it.

"i'm sorry." he said.

"why?" you said, completely confused at the apology he just uttered.

"earlier. i didn't mean it."

oh.

"w-well, it's fine." you said as you conceal your stutter with a cough. "it's not like i'm complaining.."

"ha?"

"i mean- don't get the wrong idea!" you said, trying to find the right words. do you say it's okay, i liked it? or it's okay, i enjoyed it? "but.. did you regret it?" you asked, and the tension suddenly became heavy.

he was quiet and must be thinking about it.

"i did-" he paused, and that small pause sure made you nervous. "not?.." toji said in a questioning manner. you felt nervous and relieved at the same time.

"what about you?" he asked and you were more than confident at your answer.

"no. if i'm being honest, i really.. liked it." the last sentence were whispered.

"was that your first kiss?" he asked and you only hummed in response. it was true that toji was your first kiss, even if it was just a peck, his lips still touched yours.

you felt toji shift on the bed as he faced you.

"come closer." he said and you hesitated for a bit as you finally faced him and crawled a bit closer to him.

you were looking anywhere but his eyes as he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. and then he's leaning close again.

"tell me to stop and i will." he mumbled, forcing you to look in his dark blue eyes.

"toji, are you sure about this?" you mumbled as you clutched your pajamas under the blanket. "don't do something you'll regret, toji."

he cuts you off by finally kissing you and it wasn't just a peck like you expected it.

he continued and deepened the kiss, until you're laying on the bed and when he finally pulled away, his hands was between your head as you clutch his clothes on his shoulders.

"toji-"

"shh.. i do not regret any of it."

"i need to confine you for 15 days, so i could monitor you properly."

"but i am resting!"

"yes you are, but it's not enough. it's better if it's being observed that you're taking a rest."

"is there another way?" you said as you clutch your phone in your hand. "i actually don't know how to tell my husband." you said as choso looked at you.

"but i already called him. he said he's on his way here."

"huh, what do you mean?" you said, completely surprised that it made you stand up from the chair. "he doesn't even know that i am sick." you said. "choso, i told you to keep it a secret right?"

"i'm sorry, he accused us of having an affair. i needed to." and then there was a knock on the door, and you knew who exactly it is. toji entered the room and you look away from him.

"take a sit, mr. fushiguro." choso said as he instructed him to sit beside you. you weren't looking at him but you can feel toji's burning gaze at you. choso left the room for a moment and being alone with toji became suffocating right now.

you suddenly felt his hand above yours. you thought he would judge or even get mad at you but you but he didn't.

"we'll talk later, okay?" he said as choso finally came back.

"15 days? if that's enough. as long as you treat my wife." toji said. he's doing all the talking while you sit there in silence and.. he really did call you his wife.

toji thanked choso after that as he held your hand and pulled you with him. you gave choso a last glance, a glance as if he just betrayed you and he was looking at you with his apologetic gaze, and there, you and toji left the hospital.

"when did you found out?" you asked.

"a few weeks ago. i followed you." toji said as the signal lights turned red and there was a faint sound of music in the background. "why didn't you tell me?" he asked and you hesitated for a moment as you sit up straight on the front seat.

"choso said it wasn't that life threatening, that's why i thought i don't have to tell anyone." you were mumbling that toji almost didn't understand your words.

"not life threatening but now you need to be confined for 15 days?" toji said and you went silent. "do you not trust me?" he suddenly asked and you immediately disagreed at his words.

"no!" you said. "sorry, i just don't want to be a burden and.. i thought you wouldn't care." you said, whispering the last sentence as you wait for his response. and he didn't respond anymore, until both of you reached the house.

"toji, i'm really sorry." you said and he finally looked at you.

"we're in this together, why would you think i wouldn't care?" he asked and you frowned.

"i'm sorry toji. i just didn't have enough courage to tell you because.. it's because of your wife."

"my wife?" he scoffed, raising his eyebrow as you nod.

"i don't know how to tell you because all you could think of is your wife!" you were frantic as you explain, trying not to say the wrong words because it might trigger him in some way as your emotions get the best of you. "i thought you wouldn't care because i'm not her." you said as you look down on the ground, trying to hold the tears that was eager to come out.

"but i do care, this is not about her. this is about you."

"you don't understand it, toji." you said.

"then i apologize if i came of that way, that you thought i wouldn't care because all i think of is my wife." toji said, emphasizing the words with sarcasm. "but you're my wife too, my wife now." he said, the sarcasm dropping on his voice.

"but i'm not the presence you've been wanting for, i know my place, toji. you reminded me a lot of times already." you said.

when did talking about your illness turned into fighting over his deceased wife?

toji sighed at your response and you took a step back when he stepped forward.

"i'm sorry, i want to be alone for now." you mumbled as you went to your shared room.

you and him were fine just last night? what happened now? it was all because of your stubbornness. it was obvious that toji was worried and cares for you but you're pushing him away.

you couldn't help it, you aren't used at him caring for you. you're mistaking his kindness into something, that maybe he's saying all of it out of pity or guilt.

that's right, now you realized why toji was weird the past few weeks. it's because he already found out and he just didn't tell you.

toji forced the door open with a key and he saw you sitting at the edge of the bed. you didn't even notice him until he sat beside you.

"i'm sorry." you said at the same time.

"sorry, i involved her again." you said as you felt toji's hand at your back.

"i didn't know you felt that way." he said.

"it's okay. i know how hard it is to move on from someone." you said as you held his free hand. "this will be the last time, toji." you said.

"what do you mean?" he asked.

"i'm not dying." you said with a laugh. "what i mean is this will be the last time i'll involve her. i finally realized it, toji. that no matter what i do, i still couldn't do anything for you to love me the way i love you." toji was about to say something but you cut him off. "but it's fine! like you said, we're married only in papers. i think i'm getting it now."

he was silent and you felt his touch disappear on your back.

"i just want to sort everything out before i stay in the hospital for 15 days." you mumbled as you sighed deeply. "sooo, friends then?" you said, the same exact words he told you before you two got married by force. but you saying it hit something in him, it made his chest ache.

he felt your hand take his and shake it, as if both of you just had an agreement. you didn't even wait for his reply as you finally sit up from the bed and started packing some clothes you'll be needing and he could only watch.

"don't worry, it'll only be 15 days. mr. fushiguro can still visit everyday but only around 10 AM to 5 PM." choso said as he glanced at your way.

"choso, did you know there was a theory that being hospitalized will only worsen your state. what if that happens to me?" you said.

"that's a lie, you're here not to worsen your state but to heal you."

"but what if? you know, everything is unexpected."

"why'd you even ask?"

"i don't know. i guess i'm ready?" you said and choso was looking at you with his judging expression. "just kidding." you said as you laugh.

"think of the people who cares for you. be strong for them because they're waiting for you to come home." choso said and megumi was the only person you could think of.

"my son." you said with a smile.

"yes, megumi's waiting for you so stop with your negative thoughts."

"ok, i will."

"mama!" your mood shifted as you heard megumi and he finally entered the room.

he was on his school uniform as he approached you, his upper body leaning on the bed as he tried to reach for you. you leaned close to him as megumi's small hands held you by your cheeks.

"mama, why are you here?" he asked as he frowned.

"mama needs to stay here for now but don't worry."

"why?"

"megumi, don't ask too many questions." toji said.

"it's fine." you said.

toji was watching you and his son interact.

megumi was still mad at him but megumi just didn't show you. toji mentally slapped himself as he recalled the happenings yesterday.

it was megumi frantically looking for you around the house.

megumi was running around the house as he call for you.

"where's mama?" he asked toji as he pants.

"she'll be staying at the hospital for now." toji said.

"why? is mama sick?" megumi said as he approached his father who's ignoring his question. "papa!"

"megumi, you won't understand. and yes mama is sick. now stop asking."

"why is mama sick!" megumi yelled, asking questions, eager to know the answers.

"she needs her heart to be healed. there, now go to your room megumi, you have school tomorrow."

"heart?" megumi muttered as he forced himself on his father's sight as toji sighed. "it's all your fault!" megumi yelled and toji ignored him. "you always make mama cry! now her heart is sad because of you! you always get mad at mama when you come home drunk!"

"what did you say?" toji said as he held megumi by his shoulders.

"i hate you! i wish it's you in the hospital not mama!" megumi said before he could even realize his words as toji let go of megumi. toji sat back on the couch and megumi ran out of the living room.

megumi cried to his sleep as he craved for your presence.

megumi was laying on top of you as you lull him to sleep.

"say sorry to your papa later, okay?" you said as megumi sniffed before nodding.

toji went to buy foods outside as megumi told you everything he said last night.

"it's not your papa's fault why i am here. remember that."

"mama get home soon, okay?"

"of course." you said as you pinch his nose. "stop crying now."

after some minutes, toji finally came back as you and megumi ate the food he bought.

megumi sat at the back seat as he hug his knees.

"i'm sorry, papa." he mumbled. "mama told me what i said is bad. i'm sorry." toji kept quiet as he drives.

he carried megumi who fell asleep at the back seat to his room, giving him a kiss on the forehead before leaving.

toji thought megumi was right, that maybe it was better that it was him in the hospital and not you. he didn't want to lose anyone anymore and toji hoped that he isn't too late.

he was blaming himself.

he already considered himself as a curse, because if he started to love someone, something bad will happen to them. worst is they disappear from his life.

is it a right choice to finally love you?

maybe not.

first week of your stay in hospital wasn't that boring as you thought it would be.

toji would visit you at the starting hours and will bring megumi from school at the last hour, though megumi always sleep on top of you since he wanted to be close to you.

toji would sit there in silence as you hum megumi a lullaby he once heard his son humming while doing his assignments.

toji knew megumi were attached to you but he didn't knew he's that attached to the point that megumi always cry every night, looking for you and will end up sleeping beside toji occupying the space you usually lay at.

"mama, i counted and it's 8." megumi said as he sat on the hospital bed beside you.

"that's right, 7 days more and mama can go home."

"but 7 days is too long." megumi said as he frowned.

"it's not if you stop focusing on it."

"okay, i will not!" you and megumi laughed at the same time and he kneeled towards you as he started wiping your under eyes with his thumb.

"mama, are you sleeping enough?" megumi asked.

"i am. it's just so boring here when i'm alone." you said as megumi embraced you.

"don't worry, mama. i will pray so you can go back home."

"thank you, 'gumi."

"mama." megumi whispered after a minute of silence as you hummed in response.

"papa is not sleeping well." megumi said as he look around as if someone was there to listen but it was just you and him since toji left when someone called him.

"why?" you asked.

"papa misses you, mama."

"he does?" you said as megumi frantically nods.

"he said it to me!" megumi exclaimed excitedly.

megumi was sitting on the kitchen stool as he stared at the cereal on the table.

he hates cereal, he loves the food you cook for him but since you weren't around, he needed to eat it for now.

"stop crying megumi. she'll be back soon." toji said as he drink his black coffee.

megumi wiped his tears as he sniffed.

"i miss mama." megumi mumbled followed by another sniff and toji sighed as he sat beside his son.

"i miss mama too but don't worry, okay? let's have faith and be strong for her too."

"okay. but papa if mama is back you better not make her heart sad again." megumi said as he waited for his father's response and minutes passed, he noticed his father was spacing out. "papa?"

"oh?" toji snapped out of his thoughts as he smiled at megumi. "of course."

"bye bye mama." megumi said as he look away from you and you knew he was holding his tears back.

"come here." you said as he slowly approached you. "don't cry, you'll be back tomorrow, right?" megumi nods as he wiped his eyes with his sleeves. "bye bye." you said as you kissed his forehead before he went back beside toji as he held toji's hand.

you made an eye contact with toji "see you?" you said and he only nod in response.

why are you expecting something when you and toji already settled everything as friends.

toji looked at you for the last time before he and megumi left the room, leaving you alone again.

what are you even expecting? it's not like he would do something.

you just hope that he did something though. maybe a kiss on your forehead? or just a simple words of affirmation, but nevermind.

you sighed as you hug your knees, you should stop thinking about something that'll hurt your own feelings, you didn't want to worsen your state more, do you?

as if it was a coincidence, choso entered the room with papers in his hand.

"hi." you greeted as choso entered the room.

"how are you feeling?"

"nice, i guess?"

"good job, there's a lot of progress." he said.

"wow really?!" you said excitedly.

"yes, you don't have to stay for another 7 days. did your husband left already?"

"they just left."

"call them back so you could finally go home with them."

"mama, do you hate papa?" megumi suddenly asked as he looked up at you, both of you laying on the couch with book in your hand.

"why are you asking that question? of course i don't."

"really? but why do you and papa always fight?"

"we aren't fighting, megumi. that nights you saw him getting mad was because he wasn't in his right mind and he was drunk."

"oh, okay." megumi said as he lay down back on your chest as you started playing with his hair again.

"i love your papa so much, 'gumi. more than i love myself." you whispered as you smile.

toji is currently helping you with the laundry since he couldn't force you enough to take a rest.

"take a rest." toji said for the nth time as you wait for the laundry to finish.

"i'll just finish this." you said.

toji sighed, another attempt to force you failed and he could only wait for you.

he was getting impatient as he stand just at the door. he couldn't leave you alone, he's worried something might happen if he lose sight of you.

the same lullaby you're humming for megumi can be heard at the background as he watch you attentively.

but a sudden gasp left your mouth, your humming getting interrupted as you felt him hug you from behind.

"just take a rest." toji said.

"i'm almost finished." you said, an unexplainable feeling stirring in your system. it was as if you're uncomfortable at the physical touch he just initiated.

weren't you craving for his touch? now that he did it, why are you complaining?

"come on. i'll finish that. listen to your doctor, will you?" toji said as he held you by the wrist and pulled you going to the room.

"do you know what you'll do?"

"yeah, i do the laundry before." he said.

"okay, let me know if you're done."

you've met toji before, back when you were in middle school. maybe he doesn't remember you but you remember him.

that time when someone was making fun of you, he involved himself and protected you. it wasn't really a fight, it was just him pushing them away that made them run away from the scene.

"thank you." you mumbled and when he looked back at you, you noticed a band aid on the side of his mouth that was already red in color. he only looked at you as he walked away. but before he could get away, you held him by his hand. he made an irritated expression that scared you for a moment as you stutter through your words.

"i have a band aid here." you said as you look at each pocket of your clothes until you found it in your hoodie. toji was watching with an unimpressed look as he stand awkwardly. he hissed in pain when you removed the band aid from his lip and replaced it with a new one.

"there." you said. he didn't even thanked you as he left and when toji saw his reflection on a random store, the design of the band aid was really, embarrassing.. a hello kitty design.

you were at the middle of college when your parents told you to stop. they had arranged a marriage for you that you didn't even want. you didn't want to stop college, you wanted to be free but they wouldn't let you. when you met your soon to be husband, you thought he was familiar but couldn't place your finger with. you were sure that you saw this man somewhere, you just couldn't recall where.

the scar on the side of his mouth made you curious as you stare at it and it suddenly made toji self-conscious.

"ah this scar?" he said as your eyes shifted from his scar to his eyes. you were on your first 'date' with toji. the one both of your parents said to get to know each other more.

"i got this from abuse." he said straightforwardly as you laugh nervously.

"um.. did it hurt?" you asked.

"no." he said as he placed his hand near his scar and as if something slapped you mentally, toji's current position reminded you of someone. that kid from the playground, the one who defended you from the bullies, the one that you gave the band aid you just bought because you accidentally scraped your knee, but you gave it to him. toji noticed you genuinely smile at him followed with a wholehearted laugh.

"what's wrong?" he asked and you only shake your head in response.

what a coincidence. who would've thought that the kid you kept on searching for, the reason why you stayed at the playground for who knows how long, hoping to see him again was being married to you? what an unexpected turn of your life.

getting to know each other means getting to know everything in your life. personal or not. it was as if that 'date' made your heart full and ended up being broken in the end. toji was the kid you've been looking for, for a long time now but then he suddenly told you that he was already married and they had a son together.

he clarified that he only accepted the marriage because he didn't have a choice. he told you he just didn't want to disobey his parents and megumi just need a presence of a mother.

"being friends will do." he said as you hesitantly nod.

you didn't even know why you suddenly remembered the past.

"(name), where did you put-" the words died in toji's throat as he opens the door, only to find you standing at one of his drawers, a folder in your hand as you continue to stare at the paper.

the folder was immediately snatched at your hands as toji placed it back on his drawer.

"that's–" you gasped.

"no, listen–" toji mentally cursed himself. he forgot to throw the divorce papers he requested back when it's the first month of your relationship. he forgot to throw it when he was cleaning his drawers the day you were at the hospital

you looked at him, and he hated that look in your face as another curse left his mind. what should he say? how should he explain it.

"well, if that's what you want."

"no." toji said as he moved close to you but your instinct told you to step back and you did. "that was, that wasn't.." he was stuttering through his words as he heard you sigh.

your heart was aching but you have to ease the pain. you didn't want to go back to the hospital again.

"it's fine, toji. you don't have to explain." you said as you sit at the edge of the bed.

"that was before. first month of us being married." toji explained and the small shift of your mood got unnoticed by him.

"is that so?" you said, looking up at him. "maybe i did something you didn't like to ask for divorce papers, huh." you chuckled as you recalled the first month of your marriage. it was megumi finally addressing you as his mother.

toji admitted that day that he didn't want megumi calling you 'mama' but he didn't want to wipe the genuine smile on his son's face so he just let him call you his mother.

"i'm sorry." he said followed by a strong curse.

"why?"

"fuck, i'm sorry. i didn't- that was before. i don't want a divorce now." toji said and the ache in your chest suddenly disappeared as you gave him a teasing grin.

"why? don't tell me mr. fushiguro is finally starting to love me." you joked and it was clearly just a joke, but the tension suddenly changed. he wasn't laughing at your words but was looking straight in your eyes with something in it.

"i'm just joking.." you said as toji finally looked away from you. he couldn't stop cursing mentally. he was lost in his thoughts and didn't feel you moving close to him and when you were about to place a hand on his shoulder, to simply get his attention, he suddenly held you by the wrist.

"toji, what's wrong?" you asked. he started gripping your wrist tightly and both of you were interrupted by the knock on the door.

"papa! lala wants to talk to you on the telephone!" megumi yelled as you look at the door but when you look back at toji, he suddenly leaned close to you, giving your lips a peck, as if it was to reassure you and suddenly he was at the door.

you were frozen in your spot as you watch him close the door, your hand flying to your lips and caress it and instead of an ache, your heart was beating with happiness.

it was one of those nights where toji couldn't sleep again. it happens when something is bugging his mind. he was staring at the ceiling with a deadpanned expression and your shifting caught his attention. both of you were surprised when both met each other's eyes.

it suddenly became awkward.

toji sat up from the bed as he leaned his back on the headboard. you stayed at your position as you stare at the ceiling. there are questions that wanted to be answered, but you think staying quiet would be the best option for now.

toji side glanced your figure, and there were space enough for another person to fit. has it always been like this? now toji is sure that it has been always like this.

toji doesn't know what to do as he continuously stare at you until you finally look at him. (his gaze was burning holes into you.)

there, you sat up from the bed too, doing what he did as you cleared your throat to ease some of the awkwardness that was around.

"can't sleep?" he asked.

"yeah, what about you?"

"can't sleep." you chuckled at his response as you bend your knees close to your chest. why is it starting to get cold?

"about the divorce-"

"i already told you that it was before.. i have no intention in pushing the divorce."

"why?" you asked and toji thinks he doesn't even know why. you were itching to know the reason when toji could've pushed through the divorce long ago.

"why? don't tell me mr. fushiguro is finally starting to love me." you recalled those words you said last morning and to your side, it was clearly just a joke so you removed that as one of the reasons why.

"was it because you found out i was sick?"

"no." he felt embarrassed on how quick he disagreed with your question. "i mean-"

"hm, what could be the reason.." you mumbled as if you're talking to yourself and toji couldn't help but observe you.

"it's best if we sleep for now." toji said as you hummed in response and started tucking yourself at the duvet, facing the wall. you weren't even surprised when you felt him pull you close to his chest. it was as if you're expecting him to do that. and he really did and there, you faced him as you wrapped your arms around his figure with your face hiding on his chest. toji inhaled your shampoo as he sighed in satisfaction.

"will this help you to sleep?" you asked as you look up at him. toji looked down at you with that stupid smirk on his face.

"i could ask you the same question." he said as he chuckled when you went back to hide your face on his chest.

"it will." you whispered but toji surely heared it clearly.

"then that goes the same for me."

"mama loves to cuddle." megumi said as he looked at toji's plain expression. megumi copied his father's expression after looking away from him, continuing the assignment he was doing.

"that's all?" toji said as megumi scoffed at him.

"you asked me what mama likes the most!" megumi argued as he fully face his father. "that's the most, mama loves cuddles!"

"okay okay, stop yelling." toji said when he heard your footsteps approaching them.

"good morning, mama!" megumi greeted as he ran towards you to hug you.

"good morning, megumi." you said, looking at toji as you nod at him.

"morning." he said as megumi pulled you on the table at the living room, showing his little drawing to you and toji.

"what's that?" you asked as megumi smiled.

"this is mama," megumi said as he pointed at you. "this is papa and this is 'gumi."

oh. it was a family drawing. your heart started beating through your ears as you look at megumi.

"my teacher said our assignment is to draw a family!" megumi exclaimed excitedly as he faced you and toji.

family? could you even consider yourself as one of their family? megumi could've drawn his real mother, why did he have to-

your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a hand on your back. you looked back and saw toji looking at you, it was different, the way his eyes calmed you. you awkwardly smiled at him as he pulled you close to his side while placing his other hand on megumi's shoulder.

"what's this?" toji asked as he pointed at a drawing which is color white and black.

"it's my dream dog! i want white and black." megumi said. your heart was racing as you feel the warmth of toji's palm on your side.

"why is mama carrying a stick?" toji asked as megumi huffed.

"so she can beat you when you hurt her again." megumi said as you laugh, finally joining in their conversation.

"that's cruel, megumi. i couldn't hurt your papa." you didn't even feel when toji already removed his hand on your side as he watch you and megumi, a smile making its way on his face.

"there.." you said as you dropped the pencil at the table.

"wow!" megumi exclaimed as you revealed some changes in his drawing.

"what are you holding, mama?" megumi asked.

"roses, mama loves roses." you said as you pat megumi's head.

"oh okay! then 'gumi loves roses too." megumi said as he grinned at you.

"but there are many types of roses." you said as you fixed megumi's disheveled shirt.

"really? what's your favorite among them, mama? megumi asked.

"the purple one!" you said as megumi nods at you.

"why not red, mama? red is famous one right?"

"yes, but i love purple more. because it means love at first sight." you said as you bump megumi's nose with your pointer finger.

you watch him look to the side as you follow his line of sight. he was looking at his father. you forgot that toji was even there as you look away with embarrassment. clearing his throat, toji stood up from the couch as he brushed his hair with his fingers.

"i'm gonna prepare for work." he said before leaving as megumi watch his father disappeared from his sight.

"mama, is papa your love at first sight?" megumi asked when his father wasn't around anymore. you smiled as you recalled the very first day you laid your eyes on him.

"he is." you said with admiration in your tone. "did you know i met your papa when he was a kid?" you said.

"really? what's he like?!" megumi asked with excitement as he leaned close to you.

"hm, he's still the same.. but he saved me from bullies." you said as megumi kept quiet, wanting to know more. "i scraped my knee but i gave my band aid to him because his lips were bleeding."

"is that why papa have a scar?"

"i guess?" you said as you ruffled megumi's hair. "it's just a secret between us, okay?" you whispered as megumi nods at you.

unbeknownst to you, he heard everything you told megumi as he recalled that day where he first got the scar on his lip, that hello kitty band aid. so it was you, huh.

toji left after eating breakfast and it was past lunch when you heard a knock on your front door.

but you weren't expecting visitors, who could it be?

you were surprised when you're met with, no one. but there was a bouquet of purple roses on your doorsteps.

you picked it up as you read the note.

'this is for you, i hope you like it.'

you bit your bottom lip to suppress the smile but it couldn't be helped.

you inhaled the scent of the roses as you finally went inside the house.

"thank you for the roses, toji." night finally approached as toji looked up from his laptop and to you.

"what roses?" he asked as you look at him in disbelief.

"that- you, weren't you the one-" toji suddenly laughed as he closed his laptop.

"i'm just kidding." he said as you glared at him.

"not funny!" you said, almost embarrassed when you stammered with your words just a minute ago.

"did you like it?" toji asked as he started preparing the duvet.

as if it was already planned, you move close to him as he finally covered both of your bodies with the duvet. "i love it."

toji's arms automatically made its way to wrap securely around you.

"how's your check up with choso?" toji asked as he switched off the lamp.

"he recommended me another medicine."

"huh? why? i thought you're getting better?" toji asked as you silently laugh at him.

"yes i am, it was just a vitamin, i mean."

"ah, is that so?"

"mhm."

"sleepy already?" toji asked in a teasing tone and you only further hide your face on his chest. "goodnight." he mumbled.

"i love you, toji." you mumbled against his chest. "you can say it back when you're ready." you said as you look up at him and toji lightly smiled at you.

"i'm almost there.." he mumbled.

"i can still wait.." you said as you looked at him with glint in your eyes. toji let you kiss him on the lips before you went back on hiding your face. he chuckled as he pulled you closer with his hand behind your head.

it was a random night, a random song that was being played on the radio can be heard as you sit down on the couch of the living room. the lights were all closed, the street light outside being the only source of light inside your home.

toji wasn't home yet and megumi is already sleeping in his room.

your head almost fell on the couch when the click of the door woke you up.

toji sighed as he closed the door.

"i'm home." he muttered, but didn't expect to see you approaching him in the dark.

"welcome back." you greeted as you took his bag on his hand, guiding him on the living room.

"have you eaten?" you asked.

"ye-"

"let's eat together, i'm hungry!" you exclaimed as you held him by his hand, guiding him to the kitchen. well maybe eating dinner for the second time wouldn't hurt. toji thought.

"megumi?" he asked.

"already sleeping." you replied with an almost sleepy voice as toji sighed.

"you didn't have to wait for me." he said as he stand beside your almost sleeping form. "let's get you to bed." toji said and carried you in a bridal style.

"toji.. let's sleep." you said as he unbuttoned his almost tight polo.

"yeah, i'll just changed my clothes."

"hurryy."

"did you drink?" toji asked as he lied beside you.

"no."

"why are you being clingy?" he asked.

"miss you." you mumbled, wrapping your arms on his figure. "did you miss me?" you asked and toji couldn't help but smell you.

you didn't even smell like alcohol.

"i'm not drunk, i'm just sleepy." you said as if you just read his mind.

"alright."

"you didn't answer me yet."

"i did." he said as you squealed in happiness.

"okay, good night. i love you." you mumbled.

toji gaze softened as he pulled you close to his chest.

"good night." i love you too.

it was late at night again and toji was still not home. megumi was sent back home by a school bus last afternoon.

you haven't eaten yet. you were waiting for toji so both of you could eat dinner at the same time again and the door clicked as you stood up from the couch.

"i'm home." toji mumbled.

"welcome back!" you exclaimed.

if yesterday you were sleepy, today you have a lot of energy. you took the bag from toji's hand as you walked ahead, only to be pulled back when toji held your wrist, placing a kiss on your forehead as he loosened his tie.

it sure caught you off guard as toji walked past you as if nothing happened.

"well, have you eaten?" you asked, almost stuttering.

"yes." he responded and you mentally frowned.

"okayy." you said as you help him remove his blazer.

"what about you?" he asked, but before you could answer, your stomach growling did it for you. embarrassing.

"well, i guess eating dinner for the second time wouldn't hurt, right?" he said.

"hi, welcome back.." you slowly said as you took toji's bag in your hand.

"i'm home." he muttered, walking past you but suddenly he went back and give your forehead a kiss before removing his watch.

"bad day?" you asked, helping him remove his blazer.

"yeah, i think i couldn't eat dinner with you tonight." he said with a frown.

"it's fine! you go and rest." you said, giving him a smile of reassurance.

toji frowned once again when you made your way to the kitchen. you were humming a song but you were stopped when you saw toji sitting at his usual spot. you blinked twice at him as he sighed.

"well, i got hungry." he said, not looking at your way.

"okay! i'll re-heat some more then." you exclaimed with a smile and toji couldn't help but mirror it.

"thank you for the food."

another bad day.

you noticed it the moment toji entered the house with a slumped shoulders.

"welcome back." you greeted, doing the same routine.

"i'm home." he responded, hooking an arm around you before placing a kiss on your.. lips? "what's dinner for today?" he asked as he started unbuttoning his polo. "(name)? what's wrong?" he asked.

"w-well, i made your favorite." you stammered as you made your way infront of him, helping him remove his blazer.

toji made his way first at the kitchen, taking a mug from the cabinet and it caught your attention.

"coffee?" you asked as he nods and suddenly, you placed a hand on his back.

"take a seat. i'll make you one." you said.

"i can do it myself."

"just let me take care of this, okay? you're tired from work." you said, turning on your back to make him a black coffee when you suddenly felt his weight behind you.

"thank you." he mumbled before going back to sit and it made you proud of yourself.

"welcom-" you were cut off when toji harshly kissed you, his hand flying at the back of your head as he pushed you, until your body collided with a wall. "toji-" you mumbled through his kisses as you pat his shoulder. "can't breathe!" you said as he finally pulled away, with him leaning his forehead on yours as both of you catch your breaths.

"bad day again?" you asked but he only clicked his tongue, continuing his task on you, the food you made being forgotten as he carried you and made his way on the bedroom, and also not forgetting to lock the door.

thank goodness it was saturday today.

your whole body was aching and toji was out of sight as you sat up from the bed.

"mama?" megumi's voice can be heard at the door as he knocked three times before opening, only to see you on the ground. "mama!" megumi exclaimed as he approached you. "papa help!" megumi yelled as he struggled to help you stand up.

"megumi look out for the food in the kitchen." toji said as megumi followed what he was instructed.

"it hurts." you said as toji easily carried you, placing you back on the bed.

"guess i went rough last night." he mocked.

"shut up!"

"i'm home." toji said as he entered the house. you smiled as you approached him.

"not a bad day anymore?" you joked as he laughed, hooking a hand around you as he placed a kiss on your lips. you were used to it now.

"yeah." he replied as both of you did the usual routine.

after the dinner, you were quiet. it was unusual for you to be silent.

"toji-"

"what's wrong?" he asked, cutting you off. the night you both shared was 2 weeks ago, you were supposed to have your period 2 days ago but none came.

"i'm late." you said, starting to get stressed. "i'm scared, what if i ended up being pregnant-"

"then that's good. megumi will have a playmate. is it not?"

"but-"

"it's okay." he said, taking your hand on his and you were surprised when he removed the wedding ring on your finger, placing a new one. "wear this from now on." he said, placing a new ring with a rare design on it.

"thank you.. i love it but, why?"

"i want to get married again." he said, looking straight in your eyes.

"but we're already married." you said as you frowned.

"but for real this time." he said with a smile. "you know, before, i wasn't-" he paused, he couldn't say it but you already understood what he was saying.

"i understand." you said as you laughed.

"will you marry me again?" he asked and you couldn't contain the big smile that was on your face.

"i would love too!" you said as you embraced him, with him spinning you around.

"i love you (name).. thank you for staying with me and megumi. thank you for not giving up on us.. on me." he said and you couldn't help but tear up.

finally. it's finally happening.

"i love you too." you responded with a shaky voice as he wiped your tears with his thumb before finally connecting his lips with yours.

it was worth all the wait.

#nana.gumi #toji fushiguro #toji fushigro x reader #toji x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk angst #toji x you #toji angst #toji fushiguro angst #megumi angst #fushiguro angst #jjk #toji smut

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rekino2114 · 5 months ago

Note

Nobara kugisaki, Maki Zenin and Utahime Iori with a boyfriend that's pretty much an affectionate airhead and appears to be weak but he gets revealed as a special grade sorcerer which they didn't know cause it never occurs to him to tell them

Nobara, maki, utahime and mai with an airhead special grade reader.

A/n:I hope you don't mind me fusing your two requests and adding mai cause they were pretty similar.

Nobara kugisaki

Nobara doesn't really mind your personality. She can be a bit of an airhead herself sometimes (especially with yuji), so sometimes she gets swept up in your demeanor.

She enjoys your affection quite a lot even if she may not always show it, there is nothing she loves more than hugging you in public to show off how cute you are together, especially when she gets jealous of another girl.

During a mission she asked you to try to take one of the curses arms so she could use resonance on it, she was left with her mouth wide open when you indeed brought her the arm....complete destroying the curse in the process, the following explanation that you're a special grade left her even more in shock.

"So.....You're a special grade like gojo-sensei?"

"Yep"

".....why the heck didn't you tell me?"

"I mean, you never asked"

"*sighs* You're lucky I love you"

Maki zenin

Maki gets annoyed because of you....a lot, even if she loves you the amount of times she has to explain things to you and drag you away from stupid situations gets to her sometimes.

The same thing goes with the affection you give her. She doesn't like it, she will mostly push you away but seeing you sad hurts her so if you continue to ask her enough times she might accept hugs while blushing a lot.

She was hesitant to train with you at first due to how weak you looked but her opinion quickly changed when she found out you could keep up with her physical power even with her heavenly restrictions.

"H-how did you- You're so strong!"

"Thanks, it's nothing a special grade can't handle"

"..........what?"

"Oh did I forget to mention that? I'm a special grade sorcer- ow! That hurt"

"That's what you get for not telling me"

Mai zenin

Unlike her sister, mai really likes your personality. You look cute in her eyes even if she might get annoyed sometimes, she can't stay mad at her cute little boyfriend for too long.

She also loves how affection you are, it makes her feel more confident in your relationship and she likes to show you off to everyone.

She's not that strong either so she was surprised when you two were paired up for a mission and was worried you were gonna get hurt but she was quickly proven wrong by your strength.

"Wow you're strong! You might even be on a special grade level"

"Thanks. That's because I am one"

"You are? How come you never told me?"

"I guess i didn't think you would be interested in knowing that sorry"

"It's fine, I think I deserve a kiss as an apology, though"

Utahime iori

Utahime is very conflicted about you. She loves you, but you remind her of a certain white-haired sorcerer who is the bane of her existence, she tries her best to stay calm with you though.

She's not fond of affectionate gestures, but she'll accept hand holding if you insist. Please don't do that in front of gojo, though. If you do, he'll never stop teasing utahime about it.

She tried to use her technique to power you up during a mission, but you told her it wasn't necessary before attacking, leaving her absolutely flabbergasted.

"W-what? How? Uh?"

"Why are you that surprised? I am a special grade and that curse was basically nothing"

"Y-YOU ARE?"

"Yeah. I never told you?"

"NO YOU DIDN'T"

"oops, well you know now"

"I-*sighs* I should have known"

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen #nobara kugisaki x reader #maki zenin x reader #mai zenin x reader #utahime iori x reader #nobara kugisaki #maki zenin #mai zenin #utahime iori #nobara kugisaki x male reader #maki zenin x male reader #mai zenin x male reader #utahime iori x male reader #x reader #x male reader

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orivaa-kun · 1 year ago

Text

BAD ATTITUDE | Chapter 3: Sex, Drugs & Toxic Affiliations

ch. 1 | ch. 2 chapter word count: 13k warnings: mature (18+), violence, drinking, drug use, smut, fluff, angst, feels, rough s*x, emotional manipulation pairings: Gojo Satoru x Fem OC, Geto Suguru x Fem OC, Nanami Kento x Fem OC, Fushiguro Toji x Fem OC series summary: Jujutsu Kaisen Yakuza AU where Riku Ozaki (OC) is really good at getting herself into trouble. Though the Ozaki family is ranked #10 out of the 15 clans of the Tokyo Yakuza syndicate in terms of power & strength; and the Gojo, Geto, and Zenin families fall at #1, #2, and #3 respectively; that doesn't keep her from getting in the mix with these highly ranked, highly dangerous men. Her clan's bodyguard, Nanami, can hardly keep up with all the compromising positions she constantly finds herself in. Will she ever learn her lesson? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ba-

fic playlist: Spotify YouTube

Gojo sits at the center of the Table of 15 Families, a massive circular structure of a table that’s white statuary marble flat is intricately polished and lined with small bronze and silver squares. It’s a place that only each of the leaders of the Tokyo families can touch, and an emergency meeting between all the clans had been called due to Toji’s uprising with a third of the Zenin clan’s men.

He leans back in the uncomfortable chair made of similar materials as the table, crossing his arms over his chest as he glares across the room at the family leaders currently seated at the table – most of which are from lower rank clans, of course. He usually appreciates them for their their timeliness; as the higher-ranked Zenin, Kamo, Inumaki, and Fujiwara clan leaders were always fashionably late; but today he’s pissed. And understandably so, as his home as well as the entirety of the Tokyo Yakuza had been threatened.

Gojo taps his pointer finger on his opposite bicep out of impatience, currently dressed in a black dress shirt, black slacks, and black combat boots. It’s the kind of yakuza getup that mostly serves one purpose – concealing blood stains.

Geto sits at his side in the 2nd rank seat, arms similarly crossed but eyes closed as both him and his friend had not gotten any sleep since they’d dropped Riku off at the Ozaki residence. They’d been up working, of course, designing a plan to retaliate against Toji and the Zenin clan. Though Toji had gone off the grid and was unable to be found in the early hours of the morning, at least not by their folks, Gojo and Geto had decided to take action and wasted no time using the strength of their clans to stage and carry out attacks on the Zenin clan’s properties.

Just then, the Zenin clan leader, Naobito – who had shoulder-length gray hair and a pointed mustache, storms their meeting room in a fit of rage. Geto opens his eyes, narrowing them at the man currently entering.

Gojo smirks to the look on his face. At least he has the Zenin leader’s anguish to be happy about.

“Three warehouses?!?!!” Naobito wears an ivory kimono and black hakama, screaming the words as he approaches Gojo.

Gojo and Geto’s retaliation had come in the form of destroying three of the seven warehouses where the Zenin clan built and stored the illegal weapons they sold, just a few short hours ago. With the entire Tokyo Yakuza syndicate outraged by last night’s attack, it was fairly easy for Gojo and Geto to band their forces together and burn the warehouses to the ground. Gojo rises from his seat, wickedly grinning at Naobito as the older man strides directly to him.

Naobito grabs handfuls of Gojo’s black shirt, balling it up as he grits his teeth at the other, “How fucking dare you! You’re going to pay for this!!!” He spits between clenched teeth.

Gojo easily pushes the man a few steps back with a single movement of his muscular arms, then returns them to their crossed state, still smirking but expression brimming with anger, “What? Did you think I would just stand by while a third of your men destroy my property?” He leans over a bit so he is eye-level with the man, facial expression turning into one of hardened rage, “You really think I wouldn’t make you all pay for that?”

“That wasn’t our doing – it was Toji’s, you bastard! Those factories and facilities will take months to restore!!!” Naobito explains, angered but simultaneously aware of Gojo’s power… He doesn’t want to upset the man even more than he already is.

Gojo is able to calm down just slightly at Naobito’s words, shrugging, “Not my problem. If you’d kept Toji and your men under control, none of this would’ve happened. Plus, how do I know this isn’t some scheme of your clan to destroy me?”

Naobito has no sufficient answer and turns with a grunt, moving to sit in the 3rd rank seat on the other side of Geto, “You disrespectful, piece of shit…” He grumbles under his breath.

“You’ve got a lotta nerve, Naobito… Seeing how every clan in this room was impacted by what members of your clan did last night.” Geto joins the conversation, pissed and sleep deprived. He wears a deep brown suit and white button-up, the toned muscles of his back and arms just barely contained by the expensive fabric that is noticeably dusted with the black ash of explosives they’d used to destroy Naobito’s warehouses.

“Where’s Toji?” The only other white-haired yakuza enters the room and takes a seat in the 6th rank chair. He’s much younger than most in the room as he’s only 21 years old, and is a bit shorter than most as well. His hair that usually has small spikes in it is currently in a straight, bowl cut – his choice of high-end streetwear over a suit especially telling to his age. The inumaki clan business consists of finding, controlling, and selling insider information regarding any and all business trading markets, politics, and even celebrity relationships in Tokyo.

“Long time, so see, Toge.” Gojo smiles, returning to his seat at the table once more.

“We don’t know.” Naobito answers as honestly as he can, “We’ve been tracking him for hours and still, nothing. We’re still looking.”

Not acknowledging Gojo, Toge glares at the Zenin leader in silence for a moment, then speaks up again, “He’s telling the truth, unfortunately.” He concludes with a sigh. It’s one thing he’s sure of as he’s dealt with liars his entire life.

“Well, you better find him quick. I have personal business with that man and would like to see him dead.”

The clan leaders currently seated turn their heads as Jin Ozaki speaks, entering the room in a tan suit and buzz cut. He’s the last member to join them, and sits down in the 10th rank chair, noticeably angered and stressed by this predicament, “Sorry I’m late. It appears that Toji has gotten in contact with my niece this morning via phone.”

All eyes around the table widen to this information, and Gojo and Geto exchange a look.

“Do you have her phone?” Noritoshi Kamo speaks up from his 5th rank chair – leader of the clan that deals in illegal tech and machinery. He wears a long, black kimono with gold embroidery.

Jin retrieves a black iPhone from his pocket and slides it across the table to Noritoshi, “Got it from her before I left home.”

Noritoshi slips the phone into the sleeve of his kimono, “We’ll do what we can to trace the location of where the call came from. Toji’s actions are unacceptable and he must be killed for the atrocities he continues to commit.”

“I’m sorry, your daughter?” The Okamoto family leader, Haruki, asks from his 12 rank seat – an older man in a gray suit who leans forward to this information that’s new to him. The Okamoto clan directs the black market of car trading, racing, and illegal car importing in Tokyo.

“Yes, seems like she got in some trouble with Toji last night and hit him where it hurts.” Jin clears his throat.

“That’s one way to put it.” Gojo chuckles.

“Where is she now?” Geto asks.

“Working.” Jin replies plainly, “We still have businesses to run, but I’ve hired more men to protect her in the meantime. And I doubt Toji is dumb enough to strike in broad daylight.”

A few around the table make noises of agreement, and there’s silence for a moment.

“I did receive a written message an hour ago, about Toji’s demands…” Noritoshi admits.

“Then why didn’t you say anything before, fucking geezer?!” Gojo asks, irritated, “The fuck does he want?”

“100 million…” Naobito says, deciding to ignore Gojo's name-calling this time around before moving his gaze to Jin, “…and he says he’ll cease his attacks for a week, if we hand him your niece.”

A rage brews in Jin Ozaki and he’s hardly able to contain it, hands shaking for a second, “You expect me, to give away my family…?!!” His hands tighten into fists on the flat of the table.

“I’m just repeating the message I received. And if less attacks mean less people being hurt or kille-”

“Then, what? My niece’s life is worth it?!?!!”

“That’s not an option.” Gojo interrupts, strangely calm, “Plus, a week is hardly any time. That offer is honestly just disrespectful to your family’s worth, Jin.”

“So what do we do now?” Haruki Okamoto questions outright.

“Well, that’s what we’re here for.” Gojo smirks before glancing over at his friend, “Geto and I have a plan.”

Riku sits across from two of her best friends, Nobara and Maki, who always had lunch together on Fridays at one of their favorite cafés that was locationally at the center of all three of their workplaces in the city. She’d told Maki and Nobara what happened with Toji the night prior, including that he’d called and threatened her this morning.

“Oh, so that’s why you didn’t pick up earlier…” Maki nods to herself, a bit stunned from hearing this information.

“Mhm.” Riku finishes her bite of the mixed greens salad she’d ordered before responding, “Got a new one on my way to work, though,” she retrieves it from her purse and unlocks it before placing it on the wooden table between the three of them, “so put your numbers in please.”

Nobara is in complete shock, “Are you insane?” She asks with a horrified expression on her face, her fork of fluffy cheesecake poked in Riku’s direction, “You kicked Toji in the balls?!” Nobara picks up Riku’s phone, regardless, beginning to navigate to her contacts.

Maki shrugs, “I mean, it’s not like he didn’t deserve it,” she takes a sip of her iced green tea.

“See? Maki gets it.” Riku smirks, “But then again, you are the baby of our group.”

Nobara rolls her eyes, “I’m only two years younger than you both… 23 is not that young, okay!”

“Oh, and you’re still an idiot, Riku – I’m just saying I get why you did that.” Maki says, taking the phone from Nobara once the other is finished entering her number and beginning to do the same.

“Yeah, like, do you want to die?!” Nobara shouts.

Riku shushes her, holding a finger to her mouth as there were other patrons in the café, and Nanami was only seated a few tables away, sipping from a mug of black coffee. She glances across the room, only to find that the blond man’s eyes were still trained on her. She sighs dramatically, “Ugh, he’s so annoying…” She trails off.

Maki follows Riku’s gaze to find Nanami at the other end of it, then turns back to her once more, “I’m guessing Jin upped your protection as a result?”

“Yeah,” Riku groans, dropping her head into her hands, “there’s even three of our muscle outside.”

“Yikes. And the guards follow you everywhere?” Nobara leans in, asking in a quieter voice.

Riku drops her hands from her face, sitting upright once more, “Yes. Kento even stood outside the door when I used the bathroom at work earlier.”

“Ew.” Maki says plainly, “That seems excessive.”

“That’s what I said!” Riku whisper-yells.

“Maybe it isn’t, I mean you’ve all heard the news, right? Gojo destroyed a bunch of the Zenin clan’s property in retaliation this morning, so they kind of have every right to be angry with Gojo and anyone seen with him – i.e. you.” Nobara says just above a whisper as she stares directly at Riku.

Maki jumps in, “Well, they don’t have every right, but since Riku humiliated Toji like that, I can understand why him and his men would be after her.”

Riku’s eyes light up when she recalls an important bit of last night’s story that she hadn’t told her friends yet. She suddenly grins, leaning in and lowering her voice when she speaks up again, “You won’t believe what happened before Satoru and Suguru took me home, though.”

“Oh my god, what?” Nobara mirrors Riku’s expression, grinning back at her with intrigue.

Riku glances between her two friends with her next words, “So we stopped somewhere to eat on the way back because I was hungry, right?”

“Mhm,” Maki nods along.

“And so, we went to Chinatown and had this really good dim sum and roasted duck, but these guys were being super secretive about shit and kept, like, whispering to each other mid-conversation, and even left me completely alone at the table at one point to meet in some room in the back of the restaurant,”

“…okay,” Maki says, nodding to the waiter who sets a plate with her ham and cheese croissant sandwich down on the table before departing to help another party.

“Probably were planning the clan revenge shit.” Nobara adds, taking a bite of her cheesecake.

“and so obviously I had to go see what they were up to.” Riku explains.

“You didn’t, but sure,” Maki takes a bite of her sandwich while Nobara nods in agreement.

“And so, they caught me snooping around…” Riku clears her throat, speaking her next words just above a whisper, “…and one thing led to the next and, Suguru kind of ate me out while Satoru talked me through it.” She finishes, shyly looking down and scratching the back of her head.

Maki chokes on her sandwich with a loud cough, hitting her chest a few times before she’s able to swallow and then speaks again, “Bitch-”

Nobara stops eating and her jaw drops, “You’re fucking kidding me. Wait – both of them were there?! At the same time?!?!” She whispers the questions.

Riku nods, biting her bottom lip to hold back a grin.

“How did you…?!” Maki starts, then stops herself, “Riku, bitch…” she pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration, “now why the hell would you get mixed up with those two in that way, of all people?!!”

“I know, I know, they’re big, scary, dangerously powerful guys—”

“The biggest, scariest, most dangerously powerful yakuza in Tokyo!” Nobara jumps in, clarifying Riku’s statement.

“—but they’re also so hot.” Riku whines out.

“Well, yeah, but still – are you fucking crazy?!” Maki whispers, now fully understanding Nobara’s point of view from earlier in their conversation.

Riku inhales slowly before speaking, “They’re not so bad. To be honest, I think they’re a bit overrated when it comes to the whole scary thing. I mean, these are the same guys who’re trying to keep peace between the clans! Doesn’t having the ability to be extremely scary and powerful kinda come with the job description?”

Maki sighs, “Yes, but getting caught between those two also means you getting stuck in all their yakuza drama, violence, and craziness… You do know that, right?”

Riku pauses for a few seconds, breaking her gaze to look up in thought, “Yeah, I can see how that could be a bad thing.” She grits her teeth at her next thought, and Nobara immediately catches on.

“Fuck, Riku. What else?” Nobara asks, perplexed.

“I kind of might have a date with Suguru tonight at his clan’s onsen…?” She winces as she says the words, returning her gaze to her friends.

“Bitch…” Nobara drops her fork entirely, allowing it to clatter onto the wooden table. She runs both of her hands through her short, ginger hair, visibly stressed, “Drug lord Suguru, of all people?! I almost would’ve preferred if you said Satoru, but apparently that guy’s really insane.”

Riku smiles, “Suguru’s so sweet, though! At least from what I can tell so far. He’s a total gentleman; and you’re right, Satoru is kind of an egotistical asshole and talks a lot of shit. But he’s also not so bad.”

“Takes one to know one.” Maki notes, taking another bite from her sandwich.

Riku chuckles lightly, “Please, I’m not that bad! Confident, sure, but you don’t get anywhere in our world without that – it’s the bare minimum for survival.”

Maki curves the corners of her lips down and cocks her head to one side in a contemplative look that says, ‘I hadn’t considered that before,’ “I guess you have a point.” She can agree with that, at least, “Just be really careful, alright? And call us if you need us.”

Riku runs a hand through her long curls, “I don’t even know how this bodyguard thing would work with me over there, and he doesn’t have my new number after the Toji shit that happened this morning, so who knows – maybe I won’t be able to go after all.”

Nobara claps a few times, “Yay!” She fake cheers, “This is your chance to escape the date and never talk to him or Satoru ever again!”

“Well, that’s not exactly realistic, but it could work temporarily.” Maki puts her sandwich down, “Who knows, maybe they’ll get preoccupied with all this yakuza clan craziness and forget you for a little.”

“I don’t know,” Riku slightly puts her hands up in mock-surrender, “I am a pretty memorable bitch.” She admits with a small grin.

“One, two, three and four… Five, six, seven, eight and…” Riku counts through the short routine she’d just spent the past hour teaching her last intermediate-advanced level pole class of the day, her hips and legs easily gliding through the slow sequence of turns, spins, and elevated holds. She continues to count even through the inverted moves, her upside down body only held in the air above the ground by her thighs’ grip on the pole or the strength of her arms. She solely wears a black sports bra and spandex shorts, as more skin allows her to hold herself up on the pole a lot easier. The routine ends with a pirouette around the pole and a reverse body roll, and when Riku is done, she turns back to face the six women on the individual poles behind her, “Are we ready to do it with music?”

The girls chorus a ‘yes,’ and Riku walks over to her bag in the front of the room, retrieving the new phone from her pocket to turn on some music, “Let’s do the routine a final time, then freestyle a little, okay? Now five, six, seven, eight…”

Riku allows herself to get lost in the music, taking her time with each movement as it’s a slow ballad, much unlike the faster paced hip hop and R&B songs she usually plays for her pole dancing classes. Her hips, back, and shoulders roll smoothly with every move she makes, a kind of ease that’s only earned with years of practice. Riku incorporates a bit of floor work into her freestyling near the end of the song, ending with a slide into a floor bridge. She pops onto her knees when the song finishes, applauding her students who join in to clap with her, “Nice work, ladies!”

It isn’t until after she sits up that she spots an additional figure standing next to Nanami just on the other side of the glass wall that splits the back of the pole room from the hallway—Geto. He wears a black suit and black gloves. Riku feels her face redden and removes her gaze from the man that had obviously been watching her, instead turning to walk back towards her duffle bag that has her sweats in it. She slips into the loose gray pants and matching long-sleeve crop top crewneck sweater, bending over to zip up her bag and step into her plain, green-colored cushioned slides.

As she exits the room, Riku waves to the group of ladies who are at various stages of putting back on their outerwear and shoes, “Thanks for coming! See you all next time.” She smiles, turning her attention to the long-haired man once she’s on the other side of the door, “Suguru? What are you doing here?”

“Here to pick you up for our date, of course.” He gazes down at Riku, offering her a wink.

Nanami sighs, obviously not thrilled about having to speak his next words, “There’s been an update, you’re staying in Suguru’s territory for a few days – Jin’s orders.”

Riku quirks a brow, “Suguru’s territory? Why? And wait, Uncle Jin decided this?”

“It was Satoru’s idea, actually. Jin just agreed.” Geto clarifies, smiling.

“As much as I hate the idea,” Nanami glares at Geto, “and I do fucking despise this idea,” he glances back to Riku, “it is the safest place for you to be right now. The Ozaki estate is too much of a hot spot and it’d be easy to hit… And Suguru’s clan is the only one with territory in Tokyo’s mountains that’s more difficult to get to with its elevation and web-like network of underground tunnels and roads. And he has a lot more muscle and trained guards who could protect you.”

Riku blinks up at Geto, “And why do you have a web of tunnels underneath your property?” Riku looks genuinely confused.

“Easier to ship product that way.”

Right, of course. Geto’s clan handles the underground drug market, underground in more ways than one it seems… Riku nods with understanding.

Geto turns to Nanami, “Don’t worry, Nanami,” he reaches out to tug Riku by her wrist, easily pulling her into his arm, “I’ll take good care of Riku.”

Riku blushes, a bit uncomfortable about the weird relationship triangle she currently finds herself in, “Well then, I guess I’ll see you in a few, Ken?” Geto releases Riku from his arm and she gives Nanami a hug.

Nanami hugs her back tightly, then grasps her chin after they let go of each other, staring down at Riku with an expression that contains a mix of concern, care, possessiveness, and unmistakably – love, “Call me if you need anything. Okay?” He says low, just loud enough that she can hear.

Riku nods.

“You ready, beautiful?” Geto asks, before taking the duffle bag from her hand.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” Riku says, a little caught off guard by this recent turn of events, “wish I’d brought some clothes with me.”

“I’ll send some men to pick some stuff up for you.” He says, pressing his free hand to the small of her back as they pass the front desk and begin to approach the main entrance to the studio.

“Okay, but I don’t want a bunch of guys snooping through my underwear drawer. Do you have any ladies you can send?”

Geto chuckles, “I’ll send some ladies, then. Fair?”

Riku remembers something and turns to Nanami, “Oh, do you know if the wall remodeling guys finished upstairs?”

“They just left. Paint crew will be in tomorrow.” He replies, eyes not on Riku but instead glaring at the hand Geto has on her back.

“Thank god,” Riku sighs in relief, “I’ll be back tomorrow to check it out, okay?”

Nanami nods, folding his hands behind his back as he sees the two of them off when they exit the front door of the studio.

“Bye, Ken!” Riku waves, and Nanami returns the gesture.

Theres four men outside in similar black suits smoking cigarettes, and when Geto cocks his head towards the parking area they split into pairs, two of them each unlocking and entering the two identical dark gray BMW X5 SUVs on either side of a different car.

Riku figures that the car in the middle is Geto’s, as he clicks a button on his key and the trunk door lifts open for him to place her duffle. It’s an all-black Mercedes AMG G63, and Riku tries to contain her excitement as she’d always wanted to have a G-Wagon of her own, “Nice ride.” She notes, visibly perking up a bit.

“You like it?” Geto smirks at Riku, clicking the button once more so the trunk closes. He moves around the car, opening the passenger door and helping Riku into the seat, “It’s simple, but reliable.”

“If by simple you mean pricy, then yes.”

Geto chuckles as he closes her door, only responding when he slips in the drivers seat and starts the engine, “You think this is pricy? You sweet, summer, rank ten yakuza child.” He laughs.

Riku rolls her eyes, and their trio of cars pull out out of the dark side street, beginning to head toward Tokyo’s mountains.

Geto looks into his rear view mirror, shaking his head with a slightly apologetic look when he spots Nanami still watching them at a distance from outside the studio, until their SUVs are out of view, “Damn, he really loves you, huh?” Geto notes, “I kinda feel bad for the guy.”

“Don’t.” Riku says with a long breath, looking out the window at the passing street lights, “It’s not his fault that he feels that way about me, nor is it my fault that I don’t feel that way about him.”

Geto glances over, taking a good look at Riku before returning his eyes to the road, “It’s gotta suck for him, though.”

Riku meets Geto’s eyes briefly, “You think I don’t know that? That I don’t think about how it hurts him?”

There’s a beat of silence, and they both focus on the road ahead of them for a while.

“You two always just been friends? Nothing else ever happened?” Geto eventually asks.

“You ask all your dates shit like this?”

Geto chuckles, then shrugs, “Just curious. It’s not everyday you see a guy that love whipped for a girl he’s never been with.”

“We kissed once when I was tipsy,” Riku admits with a sigh, “I tried to have sex with him, too, but he stopped me. That was three years ago.”

Geto winces with a hint of a smirk on his lips, “Ooo, fuck, he’s a great guy. I mean I already knew he was, but damn.”

“It’s the bare fucking minimum.” Riku clarifies.

“True that,” Geto turns the truck onto a narrower street, following the SUV with the two guards in front of him onto the road that snakes up the mountain, “But it’s gotta suck. I mean imagine his point of view; you want this girl so fucking bad you’d do anything for her, and she usually never pays you any mind but all of a sudden she’s throwing herself at you. Of course you say no, but it’s still gotta sting like a motherfucker.”

Riku lifts her brows briefly before dropping them back down to their relaxed state, “Funny part is, I actually wasn’t that drunk.” She crosses her arms over her chest.

Geto glances at Riku with a small look of surprise, then back to the road, “No fucking way.” He grins, “So you actually wanted him that night?”

“Yeah. But don’t tell him that, though. You gotta promise me, okay?”

Geto frees one of his gloved hands from the steering wheel to cross an ‘X’ over his heart and lifts his hand in the air, “I swear, Ri. But fuck…” He laughs, “So all this time he’s thought you were drunk, but you really did want him, too? Oh, this is some tragic shit, Ri! This is my friend we’re talking about, here…”

“I know, but he can’t know.”

Geto nods once, “So let me get this straight – that night, you’re all over him, but he keeps pushing you away because he thinks you’re drunker than you really are?”

“Yeah, basically.” Riku sighs.

“That’s fucking heartbreaking!” Geto guffaws, “But what changed? Couldn’t you’ve just told him how you felt when you were sober?”

“After that night, I didn’t feel the same. We were friends and I didn’t wanna ruin that with sex or anything like that. I still don’t. Plus…” Riku trails off, unsure if she should say what she plans to say next.

“Plus?”

“Plus, to be honest, I knew I could never give him what he wanted – for me to love him back. I didn’t want to get his hopes up for something that was never going to happen.” Riku finishes.

“How do you know that for sure?”

“Know what?”

“That you could never love him?”

“I’ve fallen in love before, with different people and… You just know. I mean, don’t you?”

“Sure, I get what you mean,” Geto chuckles under his breath, “not really much of the romance type, though.” Geto admits, turning the wheel of the car smoothly, gently accelerating the car as they began to hit a steeper incline in the mountain.

“Really?” Riku asks, honestly surprised, “I mean I know what Satoru said about you both not doing the whole relationship thing, and I can definitely see him not being a romantic but, not you?”

Geto turns to look at Riku briefly, smirking lightly, “What makes you think I'm the romantic type?”

“Everything. The way you talk, your whole chivalry thing, the way you touch... Everything about the way you act, at least towards me, so far, has been pretty romantic.”

“You like that, don’t you?” Geto grins, returning his eyes to the road while reaching over to slide his hand over Riku’s thigh; he gives it a gentle squeeze.

“It’s nice,” Riku admits with a small smile, glancing out the window, “But you’re not a romantic?” She turns back to Geto.

“Furthest thing from it, beautiful. I’m just really good at knowing how to make you feel good.”

“Me? I’m guessing all people you're trying to please at the moment are included in 'me?'” Riku questions.

Geto makes sure to look Riku in the eyes with the next of his words, hand pushing up her leg and to her inner thigh, “You’re the only one here, Ri.” Geto’s gaze is so straightforward and intimate that it would’ve tugged on Riku’s heartstrings if she was just a few years younger and still immature when it came to these things.

Riku suddenly breaks their shared heated gaze, chuckling a bit to herself, “Like that?”

“Just like that.” He confirms, looking back at the road with eyes completely devoid of the feigned emotions he’d acted out just moments prior.

“Wow,” Riku claps her hands a few times, genuinely impressed, “bravo. And that’s fun for you?”

“Sure. It allows me to be in control.” Geto replies, his tone a bit clinical.

“I can understand that. I mean it’s kinda fucking twisted, but in an unexpectedly sweet way.” Riku thinks aloud.

“I sell drugs, beautiful. Never promised anyone I was a good guy.”

“And that absolves you of responsibility for any hearts you may break in the process?”

Geto pauses, and makes an expression hinting that he may or may not have thought too hard on this prior to now, “It doesn’t.”

Riku doesn’t know if it’s an answer, or rather, an admission of guilt. She doesn’t ask for clarification about that, and instead asks a different question, “What about you and Satoru?”

Geto moves his hand from Riku’s thighs, sitting up as he returns it to the steering wheel. Touchy subject, huh? Riku thinks, wondering if he’s even aware of his body language in this moment, “Satoru Gojo is… a completely different monster.”

“No pun intended.” Riku adds.

Geto laughs, “Exactly.”

“But seriously, what’s the deal with you two?”

“Hmm… It’s hard to put in words but, I’d die a thousand times for Satoru.” Geto says, completely straight faced.

“So you love him?” Riku can’t help her curiosity.

Geto shakes his head, “That’s such a… bullshit, flimsy-ass word. What Satoru and I have goes much deeper-”

“In your opinion.” Riku interjects.

Geto laughs once, continuing to look at the road, “Ri, you don’t know fucking shit… Seriously.”

She raises her hands in mock-surrender, “Alright, so let’s go with your definition. But what does that mean for the two of you?”

“It means, we share everything that matters.”

“Fascinating answer.” Riku says, her tone of voice a bit dramatic but still completely honest in her response. She doesn’t know if she’s more or less confused by Geto’s answer, but ponders on it for a moment in silence, “Whew, this conversation deserves a drink. Maybe a good meal, too.”

“Baby, this is still the shallow end of it all.” Geto chuckles, slowing down their speed a bit as they reached a flattened peak in the the mountain. Suddenly, a large collection of buildings and their lights glow in the far distance; even in the bright light of the setting sun, Riku catches when they pass a few ‘onsen’ signs.

“Really?” Riku raises her brows.

“Really.” He smirks, “What do you want for dinner tonight?”

Riku turns to Geto with an unconvinced look, “Is this an I’m-acting-nice-so-I-can-make-you-compliant-and-be-in-control-and-reap-the-benefits-of-that kinda thing or are you seriously asking me because you want me to have whatever I want for dinner?”

“Mostly the former,” Geto says honestly, pulling into a private, reserved and underground garage that is separate from the one his guards drive into, “but I also don’t wanna hear it from Jin if you don’t eat and enjoy your stay while you’re here with me, so the latter, too. And I do cook a little.”

“Okay.” Riku nods with a smile, satisfied with Geto’s answer, “I’m in the mood for… kaisendon.”

Geto laughs, “Of course you are. Kaisendon. That’s easy; I can do that.” When the gates open, they pull into a vast, 18-car garage with all rare, expensive, new, and old sports cars.

“What do you mean, ‘of course I am?’” Riku asks,

Geto parks the G-Wagon in the only open space, then gets out to open up Riku’s door for her, “You girls and your seafood.” He shakes his head, helping her down from the truck. Geto then pops the trunk.

“Mr. Geto.” Riku doesn’t see or hear the two girls approach until they’re already there, right behind her in matching black suits. She quickly turns around. One of the girls has light brown hair that’s in a high bun, and the other has a black, shoulder-length bob. It’s easy to tell that they’re twins.

“Hey Nanako, Mimiko,” Geto gestures to Riku, “this is Riku.”

“Hi,” Riku waves to the two girls and smiles brightly, to which they only glare at her in response. Jeez, what is it that makes young people hate me?!

“Ozaki family.” The girl with the bun concludes, as if Riku’s family name is a multiple choice answer on a quiz.

“Ding, ding, ding! That’s right, Nanako. Now, can you organize some girls to grab some of her clothes from her family estate? Riku’s going to be staying with us for a few days. Mimiko, I need to to get all the ingredients for kaisendon and get them in the fridge at my house.” Geto removes Riku’s duffle from the trunk, handing it to Mimiko, “and put this in one of the guest bedrooms. Got it?” Geto asks, closing the trunk. The G-Wagon’s horn sounds a few times when he locks it.

Nanako looks like she’s trying to fight back a look of annoyance, “Isn’t the Ozaki estate like, an hour from here one way?” Her eyes narrow at Riku.

“Yes, it is. That a problem?” Geto asks.

The girls immediately straighten up, facial expressions quickly snapping out of their previously annoyed states in sync, “No, sir.” They say at the same time.

“Good. Now get going.”

The girls immediately spin on their heels, walking in different directions.

“Nice to meet you…?” Riku says but the girls pay her no mind, already far off in the distance.

Geto turns to Riku, “Don’t mind them. They hate any women I bring over… especially when they’re pretty.” He pauses before asking his next question, “You ever been in a trap house, beautiful?”

Riku shakes her head.

“Didn’t think so. I have some business things to handle quickly so quick rules: One. Don’t touch anything. Two. Don’t talk to me or anyone unless I say you can. And three. Put on the mask when I tell you to. Understand?”

“Got it.”

“I need your word, Ri.” Geto says seriously, leaning down so that they’re nearly face-to-face and holding the sides of Riku’s face with his hands.

“You have my word.” Riku says, starting to feel a little anxious.

Geto continues to hold and study Riku’s face, then presses his lips to hers in a deep kiss. He controls their pace and doesn’t pull away until he feels the tension begin to leave her body, “Relax, alright? I’m not going anywhere.” He smiles, then drops a hand from her face to interlock fingers with one of hers.

Geto turns, beginning to guide Riku by her hand towards a white door in the corner of the garage.

When they’re inside, Riku is surprised by how dark it is. There’s no way there’s any windows in here. She thinks, simply following Geto’s footsteps as it’s nearly pitch-black. They enter another door, then another, and then finally Riku is able to make out one of Geto’s muscle standing outside of a white door that’s similar to the one they’d initially entered. He offers both Riku and Geto pm 2.5 masks, to which Geto declines with a wave of his hand.

Geto looks back at Riku, “You put one on.”

Riku does what he says, fastening the elastic bands of the mask around the backs of her ears. She looks up at the man, “You’re not going to wear one?”

“Rule 2.” Geto glares down at Riku with an expression so cold and without emotion that it honestly sends a shiver through her spine.

Right. Don’t talk to him or anyone else unless he says so. Riku offers Geto an apologetic look.

He turns away from Riku and shakes his head in a bit of disappointment and annoyance, “Don’t fuck up again. Follow me.” He commands, and when the guard opens the door up, Riku enters behind Geto.

Riku’s eyes widen at the sight of at least 150 workers in white, full-body hazmat suits and gas masks. All worked in various supply lines – some bottling pills and others cutting and packaging pounds of white powder.

“Mr. Geto!” A shorter man in a gas mask and a gray suit and red tie approaches them; from behind Geto, Riku can only see that he’s balding and that he has a cute, round belly, “Welcome home! How are you?”

“Hi Hiroshi, thank you. I’m doing well. You have some new product to show me?”

“Yes!” He clasps his hands together, right this way.”

Geto looks back and down at Riku, “You stay here next to the door. Got it?”

She nods, and Geto departs to a supply line a few meters away with Hiroshi. They stop in front of a woman in a hazmat suit and mask who was currently cutting and measuring a white powder before transferring the small amounts into miniature ziplock bags.

“We’re trying a new formulation of 3,4-methylenedioxy-methamphetamine that has twice the strength and lasting effects in the system as our usual MDMA,” he explains.

“Has it been tested?” Geto asks, turning to Hiroshi.

The older man nods, “We’re on week four of trials as we speak. There’s been no adverse effects or drug dependency as of yet. Would you like to try it?”

“Of course.”

The woman in the hazmat suit hands Geto one of the small baggies, which he easily snaps open and taps some of the white powder onto the crook of his thumb and index finger. Geto eyes the powder for a fraction of a second before bringing his hand to his nose and inhaling sharply. His eyebrows raise and winces, “Wow. Hm, that burns a lot more than expected, no?” He glances down at Hiroshi.

“Yes, Mr. Geto, we have heard that from a few of our trial partners.”

“Then why didn’t you lead with that?”

The man laughs awkwardly, then wipes a bit of sweat from his forehead, “Apologies, Mr. Geto.”

“Fix it.” He says plainly, “I don’t want anymore trials of the old version amongst our higher ranked trial partners.”

“Yes, of course, sir!”

Just then, a man in a white button up shirt and black pants barges in the door without a face mask or gas mask on, “Mr. Geto!”

Geto turns with a sigh, “Yes, Kei?”

He glances at Riku, visibly choosing his next words carefully, “There’s some... men from the Kyoto syndicate here to complete their purchase.”

“Right now…?” Geto says under his breath, mostly to himself. He reaches around to his back and tucks his hand underneath his black suit jacket to retrieve a silver hand gun. Riku’s eyes widen as she hadn’t realized he’d had it on him this whole time. She flinches at the clicks it makes when he loads it.

Geto’s eyes dart back over to Riku, “Get Ms. Ozaki up to the onsen level and make sure she has whatever she needs. I’ll meet you there in a few, Ri. Okay?”

Riku nods a few times.

“Sir!” Kei shouts loudly. He glances down at her, “If you would please follow me, ma’am.”

When she’s changed and escorted outside, Riku is shocked and in awe at the sight of the onsen’s outdoor pool on the cliff’s edge – overlooking the vast outskirts of Tokyo at night with a few mountains in the background. As the pass the outdoor showering area, Riku begins to understand why her uncle had agreed to the idea of her staying in the Geto clan’s territory for a few days; as it looked incredibly difficult to sneak up on a place like this. And – in the event of some trouble with Toji and his men – if there really is a web of underground tunnels beneath the mountain that she can quickly escape to and through, then all the better. For now, she tries to temporarily forget that Geto is meeting with some people with a loaded gun, many floors below.

The massage therapist leads Riku to a set of massage tables on a wooden patio that sit a few yards before the steps of the natural hot spring, turning to her with a pleasant smile as she taps one of the beds, “Please get comfortable under the covers, and I’ll return in about five minutes so we can get started with your full-body massage.”

“Thank you.” Riku nods.

The massage therapist bows her head respectfully, then retreats back into the indoor area.

When the woman leaves, Riku looks around the extensive outdoor space, slowly easing out of her complimentary, white fluffy robe before hanging it on a nearby hook on the makeshift wall of the patio. The night air feels cool on her naked skin as she strides back to the massage bed before slipping under its thick sheets. She’s surprised at the warmth of it, immediately realizing and appreciative that it’s a heated table.

Riku lays face down and sticks her head into the cushioned, circular opening in the bed, allowing her eyes to flutter shut to the warmth of the heat that radiated from the table to all throughout her body. She already begins to feel herself drift off to sleep, but her senses awaken a bit when she hears a door reopen and close in the distance.

Riku hears small footsteps approach and stop at her side, “Feeling comfortable and ready to start?”

“I’m ready.”

“Okay. Let me know if the bed temperature is okay. First, we’re going to start with legs. Are there any concerns there?”

“No, not particularly, though I did use my thighs a lot today.”

The woman flips up the heavy sheets of the massage bed, but only so Riku’s legs are uncovered, “Do you run, or dance often?”

“Yeah, I teach dance sometimes… How did you know?” Riku asks, curious.

“It’s not hard to tell when you’ve massaged and talked to hundreds of different people.” Riku can’t see the woman but can hear that she’s smiling by her tone of voice, “That, and it’s pretty easy to tell if someone’s a dancer.” The masseuse rubs her hands together to warm them up, then picks up a small bottle of oil from under the table opposite to Riku’s to spread on her hands.

“You know, that’s the second time someone’s told me that in the past day…” Riku lightly chuckles from the opening beneath the table. Her eyes flutter shut when the woman begins to massage her hamstrings, kneading the muscles there in a circular, repetitive motion.

Riku is unsure of how much time passes throughout the leg massage as she floats between consciousness and a light slumber every so often, but she appreciates the woman’s movements, vaguely aware whenever she switched legs or ran her thumbs down the back of her legs to knead her calf muscles.

Riku twitches out of her sleepy state when she feels a light tap on her shoulder, though, eyelashes fluttering in a series of blinks when she’s awakened.

“Ms. Ozaki? Just letting you know that another masseuse will be taking over from here to do your back. Enjoy, and have a good night!”

“Oh? Thank you, you were amazing…” Riku trails off, voice breathy with sleep.

Riku’s legs are covered with the sheets once more and it doesn’t take much for her to doze off again with the comfortable heat of the massage bed. Her breathing slows and deepens, and she doesn’t even notice the new person enter until they remove the covers from her shoulders and peel them down all the way under the dimples of her back. She makes a small noise to the sudden coolness on her back and is too sleepy to greet or question the person who doesn’t introduce themselves.

The hands are much bigger and a bit more calloused, but they move skillfully on her back, strong thumbs massaging up the straight lengths of muscle on either side of her spine. Riku instinctively releases a breathy moan to this motion, unaware of how tense her back had been until now.

“You’re pretty tight here, huh?” The words are lowly uttered right beside Riku’s ear, and she gasps in surprise, immediately recognizing the other’s voice.

She whips her head towards him, “Suguru?!” Her eyes widen when she sees the long-haired man standing above her in only a white robe, the sliver of exposed skin on his chest covered with a mix of dragons and other colorful, yakuza tattoos.

His hair was away from his face and tied up in a messy bun, a grin on his face at Riku’s surprised expression, “I told you I’d rub this little back of yours, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, but…!” Riku’s cheeks redden with embarrassment. She turns from the other and shyly puts her head back into the massage table, “You should’ve said something.”

“Surprise.” Geto smirks, continuing to knead his fingers into Riku’s back.

“How did the Kyoto syndicate purchase go?”

“As well as it could’ve.” Riku hears a smirk in his voice, “What, were you worried about me because I brought a gun?”

“No…!” Riku’s face blushes from beneath the table.

He bends over to whisper his next words beside her ear, “Liar.” He stands up straight again, “Just brought some extra protection is all.”

“Whatever. I mean it’s not like I want you to die or anything.” Riku says, and there’s silence for a moment.

Riku groans in pleasure every so often, especially whenever Geto massages a knot out of the muscles in her back and shoulders, “Are you even licensed to do this?” She moans out, words contradicting the obvious pleasure she feels from the work of Geto’s hands, “I’m calling the authorities…” She grumbles, relaxed and sleepy from the other’s massaging.

Geto chuckles, “I own the place, beautiful. Can do whatever I want.” His hands finally cease after a while, “All right, you’re done. Wanna shower and get in the hot spring?”

Riku grunts childishly when Geto stops massaging her back, really living up to the brat allegations, “Keep going…”

Geto’s hand connects with the curve of Riku’s ass with a loud ‘smack,’ even through the thick fabric of the massage table’s sheets, and she jumps with a high-pitched yelp before turning her head back to look at Geto, “You don’t tell me what to do, Ri” A devilish grin is on his lips, “Now get up and shower with me.” The back of his hand lightly brushes Riku’s exposed cheek as he speaks.

“Fine,” she grabs the sheets at her lower back and pulls them up so her body is hidden from Geto’s eyes, “but you have to undress first.”

Geto rolls his eyes, smirk remaining on his lips as his hands move to unfasten the cloth belt of his robe. He quickly makes work of the white, towel-like fabric, removing and tossing it entirely to the side so that it falls nearby the hot spring.

With his robe now gone, for the first time Riku is able to see the fullness and extensive nature of Geto’s colorful tattoos that cover all of his torso and arms… vivid, red and green dragons twisting and dancing up the length of his arms, chest, and back. Part of her wonders how many hours it took to ink so much of his body. Riku’s eyes finally dart down Geto’s cut abdomen and between his legs, widening a bit at the size of his dick, even in its half-hardened state. She could tell it had a lot of girth, and blinks in a bit of surprise.

“Like what you see, Ri?” He chuckles to her dazed expression, “Your turn.” He crosses his bulky arms over his muscular chest, eying her.

Riku slowly sits up, lightly biting her lower lip as she allows the sheet to fall from her shoulders, exposing her bare, perky breasts that were a tad large for her frame. The sharp indent of her small waist comes into view when she hops off of the massage table to stand in front of Geto; her wide, toned hips and legs that he’d gotten a preview of last night now more visible in the lights of the onsen’s patio. Her wavy, long black curls dust her shoulders as they fall down to rest at the center of her back.

Geto doesn’t hold back and looks Riku up and down shamelessly, taking his time as he engraves the image of her into his memory, “Wow. You’re like a work of art, Ri.”

“Like?” She quirks a brow to the word, confidently.

Geto laughs once under his breath, shaking his head to Riku’s ego, “Shut up and come here.” He grasps Riku’s hand and pulls her along towards the traditional Japanese shower area on the side of the patio. Geto turns on the handheld shower head and squats to sit down on one of the stools, leaning over to pull another stool in front of him before glancing up at Riku who’s still standing.

She smiles brightly, “You’re going to help me wash my back, too? Aww…” She turns and sits down on the stool in front of Geto so that her back nearly presses flush against his front.

When Geto reaches to retrieve the handheld shower head from its holder, his free hand brushes her thick hair over her shoulder and he presses a soft kiss to her newly exposed neck. Riku allows her eyes to flutter shut to the sweet interaction, leaning back a little so that her back gently rests against Geto’s toned chest.

Geto sprays the hot water on the two of them, next passing the shower head to Riku so she could rinse her hair while he frees his hair from its bun and snaps his hair tie around his wrist.

“This is a first.” Riku notes, passing the shower head back to Geto and leaning forward to squeeze a number of pumps of the onsen’s complimentary shampoo into her hand. She rubs it over and through the length of her hair.

“What? Showering with someone?” Geto asks, drenching his own hair with the hot spray from the shower head.

“No, I’ve done that – just not in a Japanese style bath… at a private onsen on top of a mountain, at that.” She turns to one side while she lathers her hair, glancing back and up at Geto for a moment.

“Well, I’m glad I could give you a new experience, beautiful.” He winks down at her. Geto puts the shower head back in its holder, directing it so that it sprays on Riku’s chest before sitting up once more and moving his fingers to her scalp. He gently massages the shampoo into the roots of her hair.

Riku’s hands fall from her hair at the blissful sensation of Geto’s fingers massaging her scalp, mouth falling slightly agape and eyes closing as she softly hums to his small, circular movements, “Fuck, that feels amazing…” She breathes out, brows knitting together in pleasure.

Geto chuckles right beside Riku’s ear, “Yeah?” He coos, one of his hands retreating from her hair after a minute to slide down her shoulder and over the curve of her breast before squeezing. He uses the hand still in her hair to turn her head back towards him, lips pressing to Riku’s agape ones in a heated, passionate make out. Geto’s tongue dances with Riku’s, the two of them beginning to set a pace as he lightly bites and sucks her bottom lip into his mouth between kisses.

Riku senses a familiar heaviness building in her abdomen and feels Geto’s erection twitch firmly against her ass, breaking their moment of heated passion to pant heavily and look up at the other.

The moment quickly fades when a bit of the shampoo suds fall into her eye, “Ow,” she rubs at it a little.

A grin plays at the corners of Geto’s mouth and he grabs the shower head again, beginning to help Riku rinse her hair, “You okay? Need me to blow in your eye?” He teases.

Riku simply grumbles, leaning back into Geto’s shoulder so some of the spray from the shower head could flush out her eye. The bit of foundation she’d put on earlier drops from her face and the red and purple bruises underneath begin to come into view.

Geto gently brushes his fingers over her bruised cheek with his free hand, to which Riku flinches in a bit of pain, “Sorry,” he says low and apologetically.

“S’okay…” she blinks up at Geto, eyes directly meeting his in a long silence.

“Does it hurt bad?” He asks, genuinely.

And Riku thinks she finally understands why so many women in the yakuza syndicate swoon over this man. It’s almost too easy to fall for his sweet and attentive ways, “No, looks worse than it feels.” Riku says, picking her head back up and taking the shower head from Geto to finish rinsing her hair. She’s careful not to look into his eyes for too long, as she definitely is not interested in falling for anyone right now, let alone a yakuza drug lord.

“Wanna smoke a little?”

“Sure.” After thoroughly washing their bodies, Riku wrings her hair out a bit more before tying it up in a high ponytail and stepping into the hot spring. She sits on one of the rocks beside Geto who’s already inside.

Geto sits with his back pressed against one of the unyielding, straight rocks inside the edge of the hot spring pool, facing the vast view of the city at night before them. He reaches back to grab the joint and lighter from the pocket of the robe he’d abandoned on the ground earlier. Geto easily lights the joint in a practiced sort-of-way, evenly burning the end and lightly puffing the filter a few times to make sure it’s well lit.

He holds the joint between his lips while he places the lighter back on his robe behind him, then glances to Riku, passing the joint to her to hit, “Ladies first.”

Riku takes the joint from Geto between her index and thumb, eyeing it before finally pressing it to her lips to take a few small puffs. She hadn’t smoked weed in a while and didn’t want to embarrass herself by coughing so much. She exhales smoothly, blowing the smoke out from the corner of her mouth and away from them.

“Don’t worry, beautiful. It’s not laced with anything.” Geto winks, “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

She shrugs, teasing, “Ya never know, you being a drug lord and all.” Riku passes the joint back, and Geto takes a long, heavy drag from it, ending with a French inhale when he expels the white smoke from his mouth.

Geto chuckles, holding the joint between his fingers, “You’re… different, Riku.” He takes another puff, turning his gaze to the beautifully cultivated scene of nature and city lights before them.

“Different how?” Riku raises a brow at Geto, resting her elbows behind her on the rock edge of the onsen.

“Well, none of the women I usually hang around would ever give me as much back-talk as you,” Geto admits, beginning to smirk, “that and the fact that you expect men to do whatever you want them to do.” He turns back to Riku and hands the joint to her.

“As they should. It’s better that way.” Riku says coolly, then takes a longer drag from the joint compared to her previous puffs. The back of her throat stings from the smoke but she’s able to refrain from coughing, “And shouldn’t I be able to have anything I want?” She says in a cute, pleading tone as she gazes at Geto with big eyes and slightly pouting lips. It’s the kind of look that would undoubtedly make most men crumble.

Geto simply looks at Riku for a moment, straight-faced; almost caught in her spell. He blinks, then retrieves the joint from her hand, a small grin on his lips, “Shit, you’re good.” He takes a puff, “They teach all the Ozaki girls how to put on an act like that?”

“Nah, we may be masters of the arts, but that part’s just genetic. And I guess I should take that as a compliment, coming from you.” Riku smirks, turning her head to appreciate the city lights once more.

There’s a lull in their conversation for a moment, but they both simply observe the view with the background sounds of running water.

Geto speaks up again, “I’m not saying a man shouldn’t treat you like a princess, he definitely should, but,” he pauses to take another drag from the joint, returning his gaze to Riku, “you don’t seem like the type to reciprocate at all. Not even a little.”

Riku laughs under her breath, cocking her head to one side in agreement, “Well, you’re right about that. I’d rather not do that kind of work if I don’t have to.”

Geto responds with a single chuckle, “Hah, work? Damn, Riku, not out of the kindness of your heart or because you love someone, but work? Shit. Who hurt you?”

Riku shakes her head, lightly smiling at the view before them as the other continues to gaze down at her, “It’s not like that. I’m sort of like you in a way – just not the romantic type. I’ve never been disappointed when men do me wrong or don’t meet my expectations – men are always going to fail when it comes to that. It’s what they do best,” she takes the joint from Geto again, poking it between her lips to take a hit – now beginning to feel her head floating, “I’m just not interested in investing in that sort of dynamic when I already know there’s no return on it.”

“Ah, so you have had your heart broken…” Geto smirks.

“Sure, I mean who hasn’t?” She passes the joint back to Geto, “But honestly, even when I do think back about past lovers and past relationships – which is a rare case in itself… I think, why would I want things any other way than how I operate now? It’s very efficient, and who would even want to lift a finger for a man’s sake if they didn’t have to?”

“Yeah, you’re a brat through and through.” He concludes, nodding to himself as he takes a hit from the now much smaller joint.

Riku laughs lightly, but it’s an honest one – probably the most honest Geto’s heard her utter in the short time he’s known her. She suddenly moves closer to Geto and closes the gap between them, naked thigh pressed against his beneath the hot water as she looks up at the man, “You say that like it hasn’t worked on you.” She nearly sings, expression smug.

Geto quickly finishes the joint before placing the bud of it on the rock behind him, turning back to offer Riku his undivided attention. He furrows his brows as he looks down at her in a mix of confusion and amusement, “Please, baby. I see through it.”

Riku turns up the brattiness a notch, “Do you? I mean, it’s hardly been 24 hours since we met and you’ve already eaten me out, treated me to onsen, given me a massage, washed my hair… and you even promised to make me dinner tonight.” She says, counting each of Geto’s actions on her fingers, a bit mockingly. There’s a devious glint in her eyes, “And what have I done for you…?” Riku pretends to think for a moment, “Kiss you and look pretty?”

Geto’s gaze on Riku narrows, and all of a sudden, he’s grabbed her hips with one hand and moved her onto his lap, water splashing around them at the speed of his movements. Riku makes a high-pitched noise of surprise when she’s maneuvered, eyes wide as she’s now face to face with with Geto’s cold expression, “You’re mistaken, brat. Don’t you gloat too fucking much,” he snakes his arm around Riku’s waist and locks it there, causing her back to arch and her hips to jerk into his, “I’ve done those things for you because I like doing them.”

Riku feels her heart beat a bit quicker, but somehow regains some of her composure as she sits on the man’s lap, feeling his naked erection prod at the crook of her inner thigh, “Mhm, but the fact still remains, no?” She leans closer, pressing her lips to his ear with a sultry whisper, “You wanna treat me good; and there’s countless men out there who’d line up to the same exact thing for the same exact reason as you – that you’re infatuated with everything about me.” Riku runs her slick tongue along the length of Geto’s neck, beginning to kiss and suck small red marks onto the skin there. She simultaneously grinds her hips forward in a smooth, fluid, and controlled movement that only a dancer could, rubbing over Geto’s hardened dick.

“You’re a piece of fucking work, Ri…” Geto slips his free hand up Riku’s back, slowly and gently combing his fingers through the roots of her hair before abruptly grabbing a handful and jerking her head back, “Gojo was right. We need to teach you a lesson.” His near-black eyes peer down into her brown with an examining gaze.

“Can’t wait.” Riku smiles, eyes beaming with exaggerated excitement.

Geto rolls his eyes, unable to help the smirk on his lips when he suddenly pushes Riku off of his lap and tosses her back into the hot spring water.

“Agh—” Her scream is cut off when she falls into the pool. She breaks the surface a few seconds later, long curls straightened slick against her face and shoulders from the moisture of the water, “Hey… That was mean!” She pouts, pushing her wet hair out of her face before crossing her arms over her bare chest.

“You kinda deserved that one, Ri.” Geto begins to rise to his feet, wading over to the steps of the onsen and then walking out, “Gotta teach you to stop your back-talk somehow.”

Riku shamelessly admires his muscular form emerge from the water, especially appreciating the bulk of his toned arms, and his tight butt that sticks out when he picks up her robe for her. He grabs his own as well before putting it on and fastening the waistband.

Geto turns back to her, tucking her robe in the bend of his arm with an outstretched hand to help her out of the onsen, “Come on, Ri. Let’s get out of here. I still gotta make you dinner, right?” He smiles, this time honestly.

Riku lays back on the black leather couch of Geto’s vast, modern style living room, legs stretched out over the length of it as she scrolls through her phone and replies to a few messages – most of which were from Nanami who kept asking her for updates. A cooking show softly plays in the background from the large TV in front of her but she doesn’t pay it much attention at the moment. As she hadn’t planned for or previously known that she’d be staying with Geto for a few days, Riku wears some of his clothes as makeshift pajamas, currently and solely wearing one of his white t-shirts and a pair of his boxer-briefs. Both were far to big for her but especially the extra large t-shirt that drapes and loosely hangs off her shoulders – basically the length of a small dress.

Riku knows that Geto is in the kitchen finishing up preparing their dinner but hears a door loudly open in the distance, and suddenly his white-haired best friend is the one to stride into the living room first, eventually followed by Geto.

“Hey, Ri,” Gojo is fully dressed in his all-black getup when he enters the room. He smirks down at the sight of Riku on the couch, arms folded across his chest as he admires the view, “damn you look fucking good in his shirt…”

Riku locks her phone and places it on the flat of the couch’s arm rest, a bit caught off guard when Gojo suddenly leans over and captures her lips with his own in a heated kiss; Riku can’t deny it’s a bit embarrassing with Geto right behind him and blushes, lightly moaning into his mouth when he easily slips a large hand beneath the shirt to grasp her bare breast.

“Hey,” Geto warns, “I’ve been working on that one all night,” he quickly explains to Gojo, “don’t ruin dessert.” He grins wickedly.

Gojo breaks the kiss, standing upright again, “Well, when you put it like that…” He trails off, grin matching his friend’s.

Riku sits up, smoothing the shirt back down, “Is that all I am to you? Something you want to eat after dinner?” She plays along, only pretending to be offended in the way she asks the question.

Gojo plops down beside Riku on the couch, aimlessly watching the cooking show for a moment, “What is for dinner, anyways?”

“Kaisendon,” Geto sits on the opposite side of Riku, joining the two of them on the couch, “already prepped the sashimi and just waiting on the rice to finish cooking, now.” His eyes dart over to Riku, “This one had to choose something expensive, of course…” the pads of Geto’s fingers brush under her chin.

Riku rolls her eyes, “Oh please, a few hundred bucks spent on quality fish is nothing to you.”

“Still acting like a brat, I see…” Gojo tears his eyes from the TV and leans close to Riku.

“Oh she’s been even worse today,” Geto pokes two long fingers to Riku’s lips and slips them into her mouth – and Riku immediately starts to lick and suck on them lewdly. Geto glances to Gojo with his next words, “all kinds of smart shit’s been coming out of this pretty little mouth.” He looks back at Riku with a dark, heated gaze, “Such a shame when she could be using it for something better.”

“You’re such a slut.” Gojo laughs, hands slipping up Riku’s shirt to squeeze her breasts again, pausing every so often to tease her hardened nipples with his fingertips, “You’re barely even ashamed of wanting to please both of us at the same time, aren’t you?” Gojo then talks low, breathing hotly into Riku’s ear, “Go on, show him how you’d treat his dick.”

Riku moans soft and wantonly as she laps and swirls her tongue around Geto’s fingers, eyes locked on Geto’s until he suddenly pulls them from her mouth. Geto’s gaze lowers to Riku’s body as he trails them down her exposed stomach, slipping them under the waistband of the loose boxer briefs and starting to gently rub small circles over her clit.

A breathy but louder moan falls from Riku’s lips at the pleasurable friction Geto creates, brows knitting together when Gojo pinches her nipples at the same time. She looks back and forth between the two men, both of their eyes locked on her as they continue their sinful movements on her body.

Riku glances down at Geto’s hand that moves beneath the fabric of the black boxer briefs, unaware of how much her body had been craving his touch so badly until this very moment. She moans again and grabs the thick of Geto’s forearm, pulling it closer as she wants him to touch her more.

“That good, huh?” Geto says slyly, “Or is this just what you’ve been thinking about all day?”

“That feels so good…” Riku pants out between heavy breaths, honestly surprised by how perfect and skillfully his fingers move on the tiny, swelling bud of flesh between her legs.

“I know, baby.” Geto pecks Riku’s forehead with a kiss, and the innocence of the gesture mixed with the contrasting, wicked movements of his fingers drives her a little crazier.

Gojo pauses and retrieves one of his hands away from Riku’s breasts, popping his middle and ring fingers into his mouth to wet them before removing them from his lips with a ‘pop.’ He reaches down between Riku’s legs, slipping his hand under the stretched fabric of the briefs and beneath Geto’s that circled over her clit to press his long fingers into her tight, slick hole.

“Hah…!” Riku cries out, instinctively squeezing around Gojo’s fingers.

“Shit, you’re tight, babe…” Gojo notes, “And so wet. You haven’t been fucked in a while, have you?”

Riku props up her leg on the edge of the couch so that the men have better access to her. She moans messily in response to Gojo’s words, looking up at him to shake her head as she currently finds it difficult to speak with all the pleasure she’s receiving.

Gojo’s fingers move at a slow, steady pace in and out of Riku’s pussy, deeply massaging her from the inside with each thrust of his hand.

“Tell us how long it’s been, beautiful.” Geto speaks up again, his sultry voice just slightly demanding.

Riku whines, somehow mustering up the strength to speak coherently, “Uh… a l-little over a y-year…”

“A year?!” Gojo and Geto simultaneously chorus, both of their hand movements ceasing for a few seconds, before eventually continuing again.

“Shit, babe, no wonder you’re such a slut for a little bit of friction.” Gojo says, still pushing his fingers in and out of Riku deliciously slow. He tries curling the tips of his fingers forward when he slides them deep into her pussy, pressing against the soft spot at the front of her drenched walls.

“Ah—!” Riku loudly yelps, hips jerking forward when Gojo touches her g-spot while Geto continues his feather-light circling of her clit.

“There it is…” Gojo grins, softly chuckling to Riku’s response, “You like it right here, babe?” He whispers the rhetorical question into her ear. His hand abruptly picks up speed, the toned muscles of his arm rippling beneath his black button up shirt as he begins to harshly thrust and pound his hand against Riku’s cunt.

Her mouth falls agape and loud groans continuously fall from her lips, “Fuck, ah, S-Satoru! Too fast…!” She turns to look up at him, free hand gently grabbing the bicep of his arm that moved at a crazy pace. Her eyes are pleading and the expression on her face is a helpless one as she’s at the mercy of these two powerful, cruel yakuza men.

“Shut the fuck up and take it like a good girl, yeah?” There’s not a hint of care or kindness in Gojo’s tone – only nastiness and impatience.

Riku’s hardly able to register how quickly she’s drawn to the edge at the command of Gojo’s pounding, curling fingers; the sharp contrast of Geto’s gentle, circling ones only driving her closer to her climax. Geto speeds up his movements to match Gojo’s, and Riku’s body shudders with anticipation of the big orgasm she feels approaching. She nearly reaches the edge, chest shaking as she loudly hyperventilates at the strong sensation that’s so close she can almost taste it…

… and Gojo and Geto exchange looks, nodding at each other once in sync before quickly removing their hands from between her legs.

Riku is dazed for a moment, not having expected the men to stop, and her moans turn into a long whine. She pulls at their arms, looking between Gojo and Geto with begging eyes, “Please…! ‘M so close!”

The two men simply pull out of her grasp in response and rise from the couch, leaving her there. Geto laughs loudly.

“That sounds like a personal problem, Ri.” Gojo yawns, turning to Geto with a shit-eating grin, “I’m hungry. You, Suguru?”

“Yeah. The rice cooker’s probably finished by now, too.”

“Oh, fuck you two.” Riku’s helpless, pleading tone is already long gone and she spits the words bitterly, obviously pissed and angry from having been edged and denied her orgasm. She dramatically throws herself back onto the couch so she’s stretched over it like she had been before. Riku picks up her phone once again, looking at absolutely nothing in particular as she truly just felt like ignoring the two men who’d teased her.

“Aw, look who’s mad!” Gojo pokes fun at Riku, laughing, “What’s wrong, babe? We’re only giving you the punishment you deserve.”

“Maybe next time you’ll think twice about giving us attitude. Now come, Riku. Let’s eat.” Geto says.

Riku turns on her side and away from the men so that she directly faces the back of the couch, “No.” she grumbles childishly, tapping away at her phone, “I wanna cum.”

Riku suddenly feels her arm harshly being grabbed and pulled back so that she gets off the couch and stands on her feet, Geto’s sharp eyes glaring down at her with a coldness that’s downright scary, “Don’t make me say it again, brat. You don’t get to cum unless I fucking let you. Now you better fucking eat this good ass dinner I made. It’s what you wanted – right, slut?”

Riku’s stunned and honestly a bit frightened by this dark side of Geto, as he’s usually so sweet and she hasn’t really experienced him act like this until this instant. That’s right, he is Tokyo’s most vicious drug lord. She feels her heart rate hasten and drops her phone to the floor, “Yes!” She replies obediently.

“Then come on and fucking eat it then.” Geto leans in so he’s face-to-face with Riku, peering down at her.

Riku regains some of her confidence, not wanting to cower under the man’s gaze and instead changing her expression so that she glares up at him.

Gojo watches their interaction, deciding to break the tension. He brushes the back of his knuckles over Riku’s smooth cheek, genuinely smiling to the pissed off look on her face, “You’re so fucking cute when you’re angry, Ri.”

“That’s toxic!” Riku shouts, turning her attention to Gojo.

Geto laughs, his fit of anger leaving him as quickly as it came, “Not the fact that he’s the highest ranked yakuza, but the fact that he likes the way you look when you’re angry? That’s the red flag?” He laughs a bit more, “You’re hilarious, Ri…”

13 notes · View notes

jasy0urs · 3 years ago

Text

Fushiguro Megumi Imagine 💙💜

"Seasons Changing"

A/N: hi lol this has a whole plot. I was gonna turn it into a narrative, but I was too lazy to, so here's a straightforward and bulleted one. If you want to know more about your cursed technique from here, message me?

Slight angst || Mostly fluff || Some hurt w/ comfort || Slow burn-ish?

• Fushiguro Megumi was winter. Cold, uninviting, harsh; hauntingly beautiful.

• You were picked up as a new first year before Yuuji and Nobara came into the picture, so it was just you and Megumi.

• You both had a professional relationship, though with constant prodding from Gojo, you two eventually became not-talking friends.

• Aka, just hanging around the dorms and enjoying each other's company through silence

• This newfound friendship helped increase you two's teamwork since your cursed technique pairs well with his.

• Even if you consider yourself friends with Megumi and he probably does as well, you knew you were both still hesitant about telling each other more personal info.

• Considering your technique is both dangerous and self-destructive, you have lied throughout your life about the true nature of it.

• Only Gojo and Principal Yaga seem to know the full extent.

• Though considerably weaker than Gojo and Yuuta, your technique was still classified as dangerous and thus, to be kept under lock and key.

• You didn't mind; you were sick of having to committ a heinous crime just for a taste of true abyssal awakening.

• Because of the cover up, other sorcerers have speculated that your technique might be a variation of the Zenin clan's due to it being related to shadows (though, yours doesn't necessarily rely on shadows; simply darkness).

• You vehemently denied this rumor though, and for some reason, Megumi appeared relieved after you denied his suspicions.

• Once again, you weren't that close of a friend to him, but you knew you both had an equal amount of respect for each other, which is saying something if it's Megumi.

• He did say the only one he truly admired was Yuuta, but you came in close.

• Your time training with him has always been fruitful, learning to create new strategies for one another's benefit.

• Overall, you had a solid foundation of friendship with him.

• You just wished you could get over your anxiousness about personal matters to be able to speak to him casually.

• Talking to him felt like you were walking on eggshells, but it's mostly just from your overthinking that you felt that way.

• He didn't seem to mind some of your rambles.

• His heart just didn't appear to be in it, so it was a surprise for you when he suddenly questioned why you stopped talking to him about certain things.

• Shocked as you were, you also felt warm at the prospect that he listened to you.

• Perhaps, one day, he'll realize you're willing to listen to him too?

• You saw autumn in him at that moment. A winter's end, and a possibility of something new and warm arising.

💙

• When Yuuji and Nobara came into the picture, you two were the sole level headed ones of the new group.

• However, as much as you wanted to watch them in the sidelines and laugh at their antics, you also wanted to join their shenanigans, but you just weren't that close yet.

• Maybe they'll be easier to befriend.

• And guess what? Mustering up the courage to add in your opinion about which shop's mochi taste better ended with you sharing more than a few laughs with the duo.

• During the entire time, you noted that Megumi didn't even try joining in.

• Try as you might to include him in conversations, chiming in occasional snippets like "Oh, Fushiguro-kun once fought a curse..." that were related to the topic, he just wouldn't engage fully.

• You stopped trying to and simply focused on your two new hopeful friends.

• You respect his boundaries, you thought.

💜

• Yuuji was summer. Hot, adventurous, the most awaited, oh so friendly; the one you relate to the most.

• As much as you adore Nobara, you weren't really cut out for the fashion thing wherein you're supposed to dress by the latest trends.

• She respected it, but still wanted your opinions about certain outfits, which you would always happily oblige to giving despite your limited knowledge.

• Yuuji, on the other hand, was well-versed in internet happenings, as he constantly referenced his favorite movie and main actress from the said movie.

• Your interests and humor aligned with his almost perfectly, so banter between you two were fresh and easy.

• You noticed that Yuuji was trying to include Megumi into your new friend group, but an antisocial guy like him evidently wasn't interested much in your hobbies.

• Safe to say you were feeling rather defeated after numerous more attempts with Yuuji.

• You felt like your quiet friendship with Megumi was starting to crumble, as your once quiet hangouts turned loud and chaotic with the two new additions.

• "He'll come around eventually!" He would say with full confidence, and a part of you believed it too.

💙

• One day, you were supposed to go to the mall with the rest of the first years, yet Yuuji and Nobara suspiciously bailed on you last minute.

• "I completely forgot that Gojo-sensei wanted to train with me today! I'm so sorry!" Pleaded Yuuji, hands clasped together and almost begging on his knees to forgive him, which you immediately did.

• "I also forgot that Maki wants to teach me these new defensive tactics with some cursed tools. I've always wanted to do that, so please? I can come next time, I promise." Said Nobara, guilty expression on her face, so you also quickly reassured her that it was fine.

• You presumed that the hangout would have to be postponed due to half the group backing out, but Megumi said something that absolutely shattered your perception of your friendship with him.

• "We could still go, if you want to." His voice was so quiet – quieter than yours, you'd guess – that you almost didn't hear him. It made you blink.

• "Ah, huh?"

• You remembered how he clearly looked like he was avoiding turning to you, gaze downcast and hands shoved in his pockets.

• "You kept on rambling about the new arcade that opened there, and this is a rare free day we get to have, so... let's not waste it?"

• As much as you wanted to believe that, you still considered his feelings.

• "Are you sure YOU want to go with me?"

• He almost snapped his neck from looking up at you too fast. You flinched and blinked in confusion, recoiling at the sudden reaction.

• "What do you mean by that? I always like being... with... you..."

• Oh...

• "Huh?" You stuttered out.

• His face turned pink, expression pinched.

• "I thought it would be nice to hang out together like before. With just us two."

• "Fushiguro-kun..." So, friendship saved? "I would love to."

💜

• After that fateful day, you and Megumi began to hang out more.

• You learned to balance your time between Yuuji, Nobara, and Megumi so you'd be able to hang with them equally.

• Though, Megumi started to evidently become your new favorite when you would turn down the other two's invites and simply stay behind with him.

• They once caught you two in your own room, doing nothing but leaning on each other and reading a novel you loved.

• While you were alright with them barging in, even inviting them over to lie down with you, Megumi was surprisingly uncomfortable with it.

• When you asked why he wanted to go back to his own room, he turned his head away and a noticeable flush was seen on the back of his neck.

• You were oblivious to this newfound reaction, but Yuuji and Nobara took one single look and immediately understood.

💙

• You swore you didn't mean to eavesdrop when Yuuji cornered him once

• "Dude, what are you waiting for? Just tell them!"

• You peaked around the corner and watched as Megumi crossed his arms and looked down

• "Tell them what exactly?"

• "You know what I mean! It's getting sad, man."

• "Look, I really don't know what you're talking about, so stop getting in my damn way–"

• "You like them, don't you?"

• All you heard was silence before they both walked away.

• Megumi... likes someone?

• Oh.

• As much as you wanted to pester Yuuji about it, you respected Megumi's boundaries.

• You never brought it up even when you two hung out again.

💜

• Training sessions with Megumi were a reoccuring theme. Sometimes, he even invites you to train with him outside of your proposed times.

• You didn't mind; the stronger you can control your technique by learning from him, the better.

• It was a routine at this point. You knew you would never have it any other way, and had an inkling that he felt the same way.

• It was painful and therapeutic, in a way. Silent but filled with deadly jabs.

• Just as Megumi summoned Nue, Gojo-sensei appeared, carrying a squirming Yuuji.

• "Gojo-sensei," greeted Megumi, deliberately ignoring a whining Yuuji.

• "Itadori-kun, are you okay?" You asked afterwards, concerned at how he was being held.

• Gojo simply smiled and dropped him, causing him to cry out.

• "Megumi-chan! Yuuji will be replacing you for awhile so he can train with them. He needs to get used to the teleporting... Plus, I need to talk with you~"

• Megumi was stunned while you were getting excited over a minimal change in the routine. Training with Yuuji? Sounds fun! You always wanted to train with a more hands-on person to improve your close combat skills.

• Just as you helped Yuuji up, Megumi barked out a "no".

• Yet eventually, Gojo managed to drag him towards the entrance in order to not get caught with your training.

• You and Yuuji didn't really know how to start at first, but after suggesting to simply go all out towards one another, you found a working system with him.

• It was a breath of fresh air, trying to not use your technique much when handling him – which was the complete opposite with Megumi – and you could feel your reflexes sharpening with each punch he swung.

• Once you started laughing, enjoying your training with him, he also began to laugh with you.

• After all, "work hard, play hard," right?

• While you were training with Yuuji, you once again overheard some of their conversation; Gojo wasn't the type to tone down his voice, anyway.

• You also didn't realize it, but the whole time they "talked", Megumi was silently watching you both and subconsciously glowering.

• "So, what do you say?" Gojo asked, grinning since he noticed Megumi was focused on something else during the whole talk.

• Megumi blinked and shrugged.

• "What's up with the staring? Got something on your mind about..." Gojo attempted to whisper your name, yet it was still heard.

• Megumi flushed a deep red and stayed silent, glaring at his sensei the whole time. Gojo laughed at his face.

• "I knew it! Oh, that's adorable, but you know..."

• He leaned closer, only then turning his voice down so Megumi's the only one who can hear.

• "Yuuji-kun would be a better match for them than you."

• You, the eavesdropper, flinched when you suddenly hear Gojo yell out what seemed to be a sound of pain.

• Yuuji whistled, "Doesn't he have his infinity still? How'd Fushiguro touch him?"

• Maybe Gojo thought he deserved it? You hummed, shrugging at the thought.

• Megumi was walking back towards you two when Yuuji managed to catch you offguard, swinging a leg underneath yours and making you trip backwards.

• Ow.

• Without another second wasted, Megumi was by your side, helping you up, yet not saying anything. Yuuji was busy apologizing to you.

• You brushed both of them off.

• "I'm fine, I'm fine."

• Yet, as you tried to walk, a sharp pain in your ankle made you realize you might have sprained it.

• Before you could fall down again, both Megumi and Yuuji were ready to catch you.

• "Let's take them to Shoko–" Yuuji started, but Megumi subtly pulled you in closer to his side.

• "It's fine. I'll take them. You tell Gojo-sensei what happened."

• As you two were heading to the clinic slowly, you decided to break the silence.

• "So... what did you and Gojo-sensei talk about earlier?"

• Unexpectedly, he turned bright red and turned to the side, not letting you see his face.

• "It's nothing important."

• "Oh, okay... if you still wanna talk about it, I'm all ears?"

• "Not necessary."

• "... Oh."

• "Wait, no, it's not like that–" he began fumbling. You simply chuckled.

• "No, I get it. If it's personal, then I won't poke you anymore."

• You may not know it, but Megumi was grateful you decided to drop the subject.

💙

• A solo mission turned your life upside down.

• You were excited about going on your own, though a bit scared, as well.

• When you talked to Megumi about being offered the job, he was immediately on your ass about not going.

• "It's way too dangerous," he said, "What are they thinking sending just one student?"

• You reassured him that it could just be a test and the curse was a grade two, anyway. You were more than capable of handling it.

• He was hesitant even up to the day you were going to leave for the mission.

• "Just... be careful, okay?"

• "Okay."

• The mission was easy at first. There was a young girl trapped in an abandoned convenience store where the curse was staying in. She was evidently younger than you. The locals who heard her screams inside, about being stuck, contacted the fire department. Try as they might, they couldn't pull any windows or doors open.

• Cue you, a jujutsu sorcerer.

• As you were fighting the curse, you didn't notice that the curse could separate its limbs.

• You only heard the girl scream again, making you whirl around in alert and watch as the curse's hand was about to plunge into her abdomen.

• "Stop!" You yelled, opening a portal underneath the girl to transport her into your pocket dimension for awhile.

• "I'll get you back, I promise!" You reassured her as she looked at you with wide eyes filled with tears before being pulled inside the portal you made.

• After getting more freedom from not having to protect someone while fighting, you defeated the curse easily.

• So, the only thing left to do was to bring her back.

• You summoned a portal, waiting for her to walk back out, and yet...

• She never did.

• Panicking after waiting for a few more minutes, you entered the portal yourself.

• Inside the empty pocket dimension, you couldn't find her. You searched everywhere, even calling upon your trusty "search units" – the bat terrors, to search with you. Even with their sensitive echolocation, there was no trace of her.

• The thought of sending her into that place sent chills down your spine.

• You couldn't have opened a portal to the abyss for her... right?

• With great hesitance, you opened it and looked inside.

(tw: slight gore)

• You were greeted with the mass of abyssal horrors gnawing on her flesh.

• "Human... Warm..." You heard their distorted voices say in their language, causing you to stumble back.

• With wide eyes and a horrified expression on your face, you watched as you subconsciously closed the portal slowly.

• As if to mock you, a finger was thrown out of the portal before it entirely closed, splattering blood on your face and unto the floor.

(end of tw)

• The rest of the day happened in a daze. When your supervisors asked you where the girl was, you couldn't speak.

• Gojo seemed to understand, sharing a nod with Principal Yaga.

• They let you go back to the dorms after giving you a grave message to be more careful next time.

• They didn't provide reassurance, simply telling you that it was part of the job that some citizens may die.

• Yet they failed to include that it was rare for someone's cursed technique to cause death upon an innocent.

• You were... traumatized.

• You may have killed lowly criminals in order to utilize more of the abyss, but you never thought to kill an innocent.

• And now you have.

• A young girl who had so much to live for, who was simply inside of an abandoned store trying to have her own adventure, and was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

• You couldn't sleep.

• It was 3am and you were debating upon your own existence.

• It may have been selfish of you to do so, but you walked yourself to Megumi's dorm room, numb.

• Your feet seemed to have lead you to the place where you found the most comfort in.

• Even though it was 3am, Megumi still took you in, locking his room and making you lie down on his bed with his arms around your waist.

• "Do you want to talk about it?"

• You shook your head.

• "Okay."

• There was a comfortable silence where you simply laid your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.

• Your tears soaked his shirt, but he didn't mind.

• "... Megumi."

• He hummed questioningly.

• "Are we still best friends?"

• He pulled you in closer, letting his lips brush against the top of your head, giving himself the chance to plant an unnoticeable kiss on your hair.

• "Of course." Even if he wanted more, he'll just stay where you could still see him.

• After a few more minutes of silence, you decided to tell him about your cursed technique and its origin.

• How your grandfather on your father's side made a greedy choice to satisfy the abyssal horrors by sacrificing the first born of his following generations.

• How they would have to learn to spread the horrors of the abyss by offering people in exchange for glory upon your family name.

• How you never even chose to bear such a responsibility just to be able to use more of the abyss's power to help you in missions.

• "I hate it... I wish I–" You couldn't bring yourself to say it.

• Megumi was silently listening in, finding himself in pain after hearing your broken voice tell him how much you hated being yourself.

• "I've killed people, Megumi. I'm essentially a serial killer."

• He only nodded.

• "I miss my family. I miss my mom. I miss my brothers. I... I miss when we had fun. I miss–"

• Talking about it made you cry even more. He held you closer, pulling a blanket over both of you.

• After your cries, you started to reminisce about your childhood. You started to tell him how your brothers used to annoy you, how your mother always seemed to take their side... But there was a slight smile on your face as you told him this, as if you were happy by simply oversharing about your memories with them.

• He treasured that smile.

• He listened until you got tired, your eyes drooping.

• He let out a rare smile at that and offered to tell you about his own family situation.

• Tsumiki.

• His breath stuttered at the mention of his sister, causing you to look up and grab his face. He covered your hand with his own, turning his face to plant a soft kiss on your palm. You blushed at the action but didn't dare interrupt.

• You couldn't help but listen to him, leaning in closer until your face was buried in the junction between his neck and his shoulders, with your lips brushing against his pulse.

• His sad stories soon turned into funny ones after he got to the part when Gojo became his new caretaker.

• You both shared teary laughs until there aren't any more shed.

• Megumi realized that holding you close like this, being the only one who can see you at your most vulnerable, was something he wanted to continue having for the rest of his life.

• So...

• He called your name softly.

• You blinked, your lashes fluttering against his skin and making his face flush redder than before.

• You looked up just as he looked down, both your lips and his only a breath away from touching.

• "I like you," he whispered.

• He gathered his courage and eliminated the space between you two, planting a kiss as soft as a feather upon your chapped lips.

• Without even pulling away, he mumbled against your closed mouth.

• "Please."

• What was he begging for?

• "Please..."

• "Okay."

• You understood. No mere words can express the sheer longing in the way he holds you.

• "Is it bad to ask how long?" You jest, kissing him after.

• More slow kisses were shared before he finally pulled away and breathed a bit too heavily.

• "Too long," he whispered.

• It felt like it, but you weren't complaining.

• Fushiguro Megumi was spring. Warm, exciting, a breath of fresh air, light; a new beginning.

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