#this is me self projecting onto miaya btw 😋😋😋😋😋

[thesiaswritingblog]

"Perfection"

thing i wrote for a school assignment :3 oc shit again, ,, i promise i'll write smth fandom related eventually

// TW: mentions of wanting to...die. that's it actually //

———

...Do you know, that once upon a time, there lived a girl?

A girl who strives to be successful in life, to the point where she tires herself so much?

A girl who just wants to finish school, to the point where she tries her best and overwork herself so that she can get the best grades possible?

A girl who is such a perfectionist, to the point where she cries over getting just a simple 80 in a test?

Do you know this girl's name?

...

Well.

Her name is Miaya.

———

The very first time I saw her, was when she was studying for her class' upcoming math test. She was very concentrated, it seems. I closely watched her, since she can't see me for some reason.

Through my observation, I noticed that she had a hard time getting some equations done, always finding the wrong answers instead. Her struggling amuses me in a sense. It's entertaining to see her panic upon finding out the answer she found was wrong.

Never the less, on that night, she could only finish two equations. I vividly remember hearing her mutter something along the lines of, "I'll finish the other ones tomorrow night."

After that, I blinked once, and then I opened my eyes to pitch black darkness. Nothing in sight, as if I'm in a dark void. I looked around, before spotting the same girl I saw that night; Miaya.

She was calling out for someone, she was shouting out things like, "Hello?!" or "Is anyone there?" It entertained me enough to the point where I simply giggled. That somehow caught the girl's attention, which makes me quite proud of myself.

"Who...who are you?!" Miaya asked me, fear is written all over her face as her legs shake. "Ahaha, I...do not have a name. But fear not, for I will not cause any harm to you." I replied to her, before adding, "Now, tell me...how did you get here? This is a realm all to myself, so I don't see any logical and human way for you to get here."

"U-uh...Well...I..don't know either. I just went to bed and fell asleep and suddenly I'm here now." Miaya explained to me, her two-colored eyes finally meeting my blue ones. "Ah, that means this is also a dream world. How did I not know that from the start?" I asked myself, putting a finger onto my chin as I thought hard about it.

"So...do you...seriously not have a name?" Miaya's voice managed to bring me back to reality. It was a rather calm and soothing voice, that is rather quiet, to the point where you can't even hear it unless the room is really quiet. But...it's nice to listen to.

"Hmm...no. I do not have a name, I'm afraid." I answered her question after a few seconds, crossing my arms as I glanced away from her. "Ah...well, um, if you want, I can come up with a name for you. I'm expecting to see you here whenever I fall asleep, hehe." Miaya spoke again. The thought of having a name is so weird.

I have always been so used to having no name at all, probably because I have always been alone here without anyone near me. The concept of names itself is just so odd to me. But thinking about it again, if I were to meet someone in this dark place, might as well have a name they'll call me.

I glanced back at the girl with peachy hair, before nodding. "Sure. I don't particularly mind." I responded. "Ah, alright! Hmm..." She starts thinking, before making an "Aha!" noise. I could've sworn, I saw a lightbulb light up above her. "I'll call you...Emina!" She happily said.

"Emina...not a bad name. I'll go with it." For the first time in awhile, I genuinely smiled. It's nice to have a friend around here, even if I have to see her only in this supposed dream realm.

———

The next night, I watched her study for her math test yet again. She was catching up on the equations she hasn't finished yet. Though, once again, she seems to be struggling a lot. I am no expert in math either, so if I tried to help, then my efforts would just be futile.

I could only silently watch as Miaya throws her pen across the room out of a fit of rage. "I have to get myself together...I have to get the perfect scores. I have to make mom proud. I have to graduate school. I have to chase that future I really want to have." I could hear her mutter. She also muttered to herself about how useless she is and how much of a failure she is.

However, one sentence managed to make me feel rather...alarmed.

"I just wanna die already."

Oh.

I am not going to let that happen.

———

Eventually, after a few nights, the day of the test came. I silently watched beside her, not even caring if the teacher randomly passed by and went through me somehow.

(I actually took so much offense in that, actually.)

For the first few minutes of the test, Miaya was doing fine. She managed to solve a few questions perfectly fine, even if on one instance, I overheard her mutter, "I'm just gonna leave the answer like that, even if I don't feel like it's right."

However, for the next minutes, she struggled a lot. She internally panicked, and I could feel it well enough to know that this test is probably her lifeline. Something about the fear in her eyes when she didn't know how to answer question number 7 says a lot to me.

It's as if I can feel her fear too.

Eventually, time's up, and the students have to hand out their test papers to the teacher. I could only watch as Miaya silently hands hers to the teacher. Even if it's not that obvious, there's so much fear and sadness in her eyes.

———

A few nights later, I waited for Miaya's arrival in the dark dream realm. It took her so long to come here. Isn't it supposed to be really late for her right now? My worry then rises up.

But then, Miaya appeared into the realm just in time. But what shocked me is that her face was soaked with tears. "...Miaya, what's wrong? Are...are you okay?" I asked worryingly as I ran to her and placed my hands on her shoulders, gripping them tightly, but not too tight. Miaya didn't answered me, however, and only cried even more instead.

I pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back to soothe her a little bit. After some time, she managed to calm down, and then we both pulled away. "Emina....I failed my math test." Miaya finally announced to me. Well, that was not too shocking. Considering how...uh, badly she did. "That was my guess, honestly. But it's okay, there's always next time." I told her.

"But what if there's no next time? What if I can't try again? What if I don't pass my upcoming tests and exams? What if—"

"Shh, enough. Don't overthink it too much, alright? Those thoughts will just ruin you more. Just stay here until you wake up tomorrow morning."

...

"You'll be safe with me, Miaya."

———

The following days, Miaya never came into the dream realm, which had me worried even more for her condition. Now, I was the one overthinking for some reason. That's not healthy for me.

I decided to get out of the dream realm and spy on the girl in question instead, and when I did, I was rather shocked to find her hunched over on her seat where she usually studies, trying her best to stay awake as she reads a science book. I glanced over to the clock on the wall.

It read 01:03 AM.

Woah, that's just a whole different day now.

If only I could whisper to her that she should stop overworking herself just for some stupid numbers on a piece of paper and rest up instead. She's such a stupid perfectionist. When will she realize that she needs to care for herself more too?

———

The next night, I finally found Miaya appearing in the dream realm beside me, already looking as exhausted as ever. I immediately jumped to interrogation mode.

"You didn't slept these past few nights, didn't you?" I asked her immediately, turning my head to look at her. Her hair was pretty messy, that's what I noted. "Huh? O-oh, yeah. I wanna try my best to pass the upcoming science test, after all." She answered, and to that, I frowned.

"Miaya, c'mon now. You can't keep losing sleep because of just some stupid numbers." I told her. Now that I think about it, I sound like a mother scolding her child over some bad thing they did. I don't know, though.

"But I have to get at least a 95, or else I'll probably just never see the light of day." Miaya argued back, and that maybe rather annoyed. Who does she think she is to just not sleep because of her grades? "But you deserve breaks too!" I exclaimed at her.

"But my grades are important! You'd never understand how a bunch of numbers means to me!"

"But these numbers are the reason why you're lacking any goddamn sleep! C'mon now, just give yourself a break for once!"

"NO! I'M NOT RESTING UNTIL I GET A GOOD GRADE FOR ONCE!"

"MIAYA! LISTEN TO ME, YOU IDIOT!"

Without even thinking, I gripped both of her shoulders tightly out of a fit of rage. I looked into her eyes, they were quivering out of fear. It has been awhile since she looked at me with so much fear. But honestly, that's not the deal here right now.

"YOU WILL GRADUATE FROM SCHOOL! YOU WILL PASS UPCOMING TESTS AND EXAMS! YOU CAN DO THIS! BUT PLEASE, DON'T OVERWORK YOURSELF LIKE THIS!" I yelled at her. I wanna at least slap some sense into that stupid idiotic brain of hers, since she won't seem to understand it herself.

"WHY ARE YOU SUCH A GODDAMN PERFECTIONIST?! NOBODY IN THIS WORLD IS A SUPER PERFECT INDIVIDUAL! ONLY GOD IS, IF YOU EVEN BELIEVE IN HIM!" After that last sentence, I fell silent. Miaya was also silent as she slowly calms down from my sudden outburst. After all, this isn't the Emina she came to know and love (platonically, at least).

"S-sorry. The wanting to be successful in life just kind of...got in my head." She said, her voice shaking as she looked away from me. After a few more seconds, I sighed. "No, it's fine. I'm also sorry, for yelling at you like that. I just had to slap some sense in you, y'know?" Miaya nodded, before looking back at me. "Yeah, I can understand that."

Even more seconds of silence came in between us. None of us spoke a word as I fidgeted with my fingers. "...Maybe you're right, Emina." Miaya's voice suddenly speaking caught my attention once more. "Huh? What do you mean?" I asked, even if I fully knew what she meant by that.

"I mean...what you said is right. No one in this world is perfect. Maybe I'm just too much of a perfectionist, hehe." The peachy haired girl answered me. At that moment, I chuckled. "You're so stupid."

"D-don't say that! You're gonna make me think I'm incapable of passing any test!"

"Haha, right, right. Sorry~"

We talked and joked around more, until the dark void gets even brighter all of a sudden. "Huh? What's happening?" Miaya asked, looking around the realm in an alarmed manner. "I...don't know." That was the last thing I could say to her before we got enveloped by the realm's bright light.

———

Miaya just got to class. She was previously talking to a friend of hers from a different class before the bell rang. Once she got there, she noticed something feels different.

At that moment, the teacher walked in, bringing in a new face into the classroom. "Good morning, students. Today, we have a new student. Now, you may introduce yourself." She said, before allowing the new student in question to introduce herself.

After seeing who the new student is, Miaya could only feel shock.

"Hello. My name is Emina. I'm new here, as you all can tell, so please, help me with anything I don't understand in. It's nice to meet you all."

Ah, wait, right, that's me.

Whoops.

For a moment, I glanced over to Miaya, before giving her a small smile, giving her a sign that I recognize her. Miaya was still a little shocked at first, before nodding at me, a smile also appearing on her face.

I guess our friendship extended to real life now, huh?

I just hope that Miaya isn't that much of a perfectionist anymore.

That would certainly be annoying.