#this is me being very 'were so back' for sanders sides

[kalakilo]

i rewatched putting others first because ive been into sanders sides again lately and it is actually so satisfying seeing janus be validated for the first time like. dude actually had a good point to make in svs and NOBODY listened to him. like he was right. all along. and when thomas tells him that in pof his reaction is so valid like FINALLY they acknowledge this guy is right. and was right in svs!! i am patiently waiting for the season finale to see what goes on and who the orange guy is

[batboyblog]

2016 is often considered the point when leftism managed to get itself into the mainstream and became more popular, but I honestly can't help but wonder, given the sheer descent into conspiracy theory and selfish cruelty of the current state, whether in hindsight it was actually leftism's step into decline.

I've been thinking about this a lot, sadly I'm getting the start of a Migraine, so the edges of my thoughts are all fuzzy so idk if I'll be able to do what I think justice, but lets try.

The human mind doesn't really like complexity, it'd a pattern recognition machine built to find food and stuff that thinks you're food in the African brush. So we like to find patterns and lump stuff together, its hardwired in.

so "Leftism" I do understand what you mean, but I think it covers a really wide area.

and I think in politics we like to assign ideological and policy logic to things to political movements, it has to be about a coherent and rational ideology and world view we think. But... I think, often times it's emotional as much as anything. Did people vote for JFK or Reagan so much for policy as they, personally in their person, seemed to be the antidote to what was wrong in the moment? JFK seemed young and energetic when compared to an elderly and ill President Eisenhower, Reagan had the claiming aging leading man energy to make everyone feel like it'd be okay, a movie cowboy to lead us against bad guys we didn't understand while nice guy Jimmy Carter seemed stuck.

So back to 2016, I think there was so real ideology to start. The Left of the Democratic Party felt empowered after 2006, the left of the party had been against the Iraq War from the jump and that turned into the organizing issue that pushed Republicans out of power in 2006. A San Fran liberal, founding member of the House Progressive Cause was the first woman Speaker (and in favor of gay marriage too). In 2008 the Left of the party for largely emotional reasons sided with Obama over Clinton, even though they largely overlapped on policy and where there were (minor) differences she was to his left.

so riding high from two back to back wins, having gotten a lot of progressives elected to the House and Senate (like Bernie Sanders) progressive Dems were pretty let down by the real results, the ACA got bogged down and their dearest wish list item, the public option, which Pelosi fought for so hard, failed to make it into the final bill, and then 2010, a blood bath. And understandably there's been some frustration with Obama for not living up to the hype and also failing to really focus on state level races, Democrats got tarred hard

BUT! there's also an emotional side, Occupy Wall Street. I remember at the time being interested in it, I was young and more radical, but soon I got really frustrated because they had no demands, I watched every night MSNBC which was very sympathetic, but no one could articulate what it is they wanted, past a vague idea of "punish" the guilty.

I think there's a lot of restless frustration, some of it grounded and based in reality some of it not, in this country and its only grown over time as well as a contempt for and a break down of any kind of respect for experts and norms any anything established.

SO! I think that emotion latched onto Bernie and the left of the Democratic Party. As someone who worked that election I can tell you, at first knocking doors in New Hampshire, I got the taste of the very start of the campaign. And people would say "oh I'm voting for Bernie now, but I'll vote for Hillary in the general" but soon it went from friendly, from "we're pushing her to the left" to something bitter and angry. I had Bernie supporters tell me 1990s Fox News conspiracy theories around the Clintons, I had a Bernie supporter (in the general election) follow two college girl volunteers for blocks back to our office to SCREAM at us all.

Bernie won the New Hampshire Primary pretty commandingly that year, and partly because he had a strong volunteer network. But in the general despite many efforts we could barely get any of his regular volunteers to come work with us against Trump. I remember one lady who showed up just once and looked RIP SHIT! to be there, I think she said that all the positive stuff we said about Clinton, at a canvass launch for Clinton, made her "sick" and "don't expect me to say anything nice about her!" and she was one of only a tiny number of Bernie people who showed up in the general so she was better than some.

I remember the only Bernie Volunteer we got to become a regular. He'd knocked doors for months in New Hampshire for Bernie, organized his own phone bank into Nevada for their primary, drove down to South Carolina and spent the week before their primary knocking. Clearly a true believer, and when he decided to volunteer with us they kicked him out of the Facebook group he started and stopped speaking to him. I'll always remember what he said, that around the Bernie office they used to say that "a Trump voter was just a Bernie voter who hasn't been educated yet"

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, there were real motivations of the progressives and the left of the party, real policy based frustrations, particularly around how health care worked out, and I think Bernie Sanders himself was running because of that and to express that. But it tapped into something else, something not really political and much more emotional, rage and bitterness and a need to punish, the same energizes Trump taps into. It made a permission to be nasty to people you don't like, particularly women, I won't repeat the things people said on the phones, horrible.

now in 2024, almost 10 years later, there's a lot more depression mixed in, Trump talks about America as a 3rd world country all the time, there's just a vibe of having given up, hopelessness. There's a genocide and everything is horrible and hopeless and give up and die.

I don't believe in giving up, I don't believe in bitterness, I'm not a sunny person in real life, but I believe the point of politics, the politics I'm a part of, is lifting people up. It might be corny and uncool, but I believe in America, not that we're prefect, no, we're not, but together we've done great things, we fought a world war and went to the moon, and we can do great things together still always if we believe in each other, build each other up, stop being so afraid and weak and sad. I want to be beat fascism again, I want to go to the moon again, I want to beat climate change, and finally finally make the promise that all men are created equal REAL, and I don't believe in hiding behind walls, and crying that we can't do it any more, fuck that shit.

[xxinsanitysapprenticexx]

Here, have a little Sanders Sides Prinxiety fic.

"Hey uh, Roman?" Virgil asked, approaching the creative side, as they were both sipping on carbonated drinks.

"Hm?" The prince said, turning to look at the side who approached him. He greeted Virgil with a smile.

"Greetings my Dark and Stormy Night!" The royal beamed.

"How may I assist you this fine afternoon?"

"Uh- yeah, whatever-" Virgil said, he was never quite sure how to respond to Roman's energy. But, he didn't act too much on it.

"Are you gonna use that soda tab for anything?"

"Hm, no, I don't think so." Roman replied, looking down at the now empty can in his hand, raising a brow.

"Why?"

"Well, I was wondering if- I could maybe have it? I just need that one more."

"You never did tell me why you were collecting these. Usually collecting garbage is my brother's thing." Roman pressed, earning a slight glare from Virgil.

"They're not garbage! They-" he began to stammer. Virgil just shook his head, Roman would get his explanation later, after all.

"Whatever! If you're not gonna do anything with it, can I please just have it?" Virgil's speech began to speed up and he was notably getting a little agitated.

"Sheesh, alright-" Roman gave in, tearing the tab off of his can, and handing it to Virgil.

"Just be careful not to injure yourself with it! Those can be quite sharp!"

"Yeah, yeah- thanks or whatever." And with that, Virgil went off to his room.

An hour or two had passed, and Virgil's project was finally done. He was hoping he'd receive a pleasant reaction for his work. Judging by the belting coming from the living room, and it being only one voice, Virgil concluded that he and Roman were the only ones in the Mind Palace. He took a deep breath, and headed down.

"Princey!" He said, as he came down the stairs.

"Virgil if you're coming down here to tell me I'm being "too loud" again-"

"Um- actually, no... Not this time. But, to be fair I could hear you even with my door closed."

Roman just raised a brow.

"I uh- I came down because I have something for you... "

"Oh?" The prince said, his expression softening, and his eyes lighting up with curiosity.

"U-um-" Virgil stammered, feeling his hands begin to shake.

"Close your eyes- please?"

Roman stood there for a moment, but eventually complied. Virgil raised his arms, and carefully set something atop Roman's head. He then quickly recoils his hands into his hoodie, pulling the collar up to his face a little.

"O-okay... You can open them now..."

Roman raised a brow, and took what Virgil placed onto his head into his hands, and looked at it. He stared in awe, impressed. For what he was met with, was an intricate silver and red crown, made entirely of soda tabs. It was actually quite a beautiful piece of art.

"Virgil!" Roman exclaimed, putting it on again, and looking in the nearest mirror.

"Do... Do you... Like it?"

"Like it? No, I don't like it!"

Virgil recoiled further into his hoodie with fear. He began to sweat.

"I LOVE IT!" Roman exclaimed, turning back to Virgil with a smile so bright that it put the very sun itself to shame. Virgil pulled his collar down slightly.

"Really?"

"I absolutely adore it! It's chic, it's fierce, it's exquisite! And you made this yourself?" Roman checked himself out in the mirror once more before turning back to Virgil again.

"Yeah, well... A prince needs a crown... Right?" He said, shrugging.

"SO Right!" Roman exclaimed, taking Virgil by his waist, spinning him and dipping in a swift, dance-like movement. Virgil yelped in surprise, gripping onto Roman for fear he would fall.

"Thank you so much! I shall cherish this beyond my last breath!"

"Ha, glad you like it..."

Roman helped Virgil stand again, and glanced at the t.v. screen.

"Hey, uh... It was getting a little lonely down here... You wouldn't want to watch the rest of this Disney marathon with me... Would you? I promise, I'll keep the volume to a minimum! But I will keep singing! It's my thing."

Virgil laughed a little.

"Just don't be too loud, alright Princey?"

Roman smiled and sat down with Virgil, and after a few hours they both fell asleep to the Beauty and the Beast theme, Roman's new, and favorite crown, falling over his face.

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Epilogue) [Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb, sexual coercion of minors implied, a minor offering sexual favors, fire, minor character death

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted (and possibly some future content), look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5Part 6Part 7Part 8Part 9Part 10Part 11Part 12Part 13Part 14Part 15Part 16Part 17Part 18Part 19Part 20Part 21Part 22Part 23Part 24Part 25Part 26Part 27Part 28Part 29Part 30Part 31Part 32Part 33Part 34Part 35Part 36Part 37Part 38Part 39Part 40Part 41Part 42Part 43Part 44Part 45Part 46Part 47Part 48Part 49Part 50Part 51Part 52 Part 53 Part 54 Part 55 Part 56 Part 57 Part 58 Part 59

“Do you think they’ll light your trees on fire this year?” an amused (but slightly concerned) voice asked from behind Jeffers. Jeffers ran a finger over the empty thumb of his slightly dirty gardening gloves while watching the two boys. They were currently leaning over an unlit lantern and various “supplies.” In truth, he’d stopped his own work to watch the two boys out of the very concern the king had just vocalized.

“Virgil helped me fertilize that tree a week ago,” Jeffers replied. “So, I would hope he exercises some caution.”

“Virgil likes fire though,” Thomas pointed out.

Jeffers sighed. “That he does.” He tilted his head towards Thomas. “You did confiscate the fire knife again after last week, yes?”

“I did,” Thomas confirmed, “but that means very little. Even burying that thing with a corpse did not dissuade him.”

As he spoke, a sudden spark of light flew from where the boys were working. A whining sound and then pop sounded as the spark exploded into 10 pieces, raining down colorful light. Luckily, the sparks burned up before hitting the ground (or the tree).

“Boys, if you set anything on fire, you will be grounded from the festival,” Thomas called in a booming voice. Both boys jumped. Jeffers imagined Logan hadn’t even known he was there. (Virgil certainly had, but he’d still jumped. “For the second year in a row in Logan’s case.”

“They’re not flammable!” was the claim from Logan.

“I don’t believe you,” Thomas called back.

The boys ignored this, turning back to their experiment.

“We should have kept them grounded,” Thomas muttered.

Despite Thomas’s original decision to ground Patton and Logan until their 50s (and Helen’s push to keep them grounded until Thomas, Helen, and Jeffers himself were all dead and couldn’t enforce it anymore), the boys had only been truly grounded for two months after Thomas had found out the truth of Virgil’s origins. (Though there were still jokes they were still technically grounded.) That did, however, mean that Patton and Logan had been grounded from most of the Lantern Festival the year before.

Logan, at least, seemed to be trying to make up for lost time this year (explosively). Jeffers did worry about where Patton was slightly, but honestly Patton without Logan or Virgil tended to be much less destructive in his hijinx. The worst he was probably doing was stealing sweets out from under Helen’s nose. Which was why both Jeffers and Thomas were currently here watching these two.

There were more sparks from the boy’s experiment. The grass caught fire at their feet. Virgil hastily stomped it out.

“I’ll watch them if you want to get food to bribe Virgil away,” Jeffers offered.

Thomas shook his head. “No need,” he said, and began walking towards them. “I thought you said that was ‘not flammable,’” he called as he walked towards them.

“Well, they’re technically not,” was Logan’s reply. “…The grass is though.”

Jeffers rolled his eyes for the benefit of no one as he turned away. He decided he was going to go get food to bribe Virgil away from destruction.

Since it was spring, he didn’t have as much food readily available, but he did already have a small crop of a new breed of radishes he could harvest to taste test. The vegetable garden was a good walk away, but he figured Thomas would be good enough supervision for the moment.

~~~

“Give,” Thomas demanded upon stopping a couple of feet in front of the children. Logan frowned but packed up and handed him the travel sized potion set without argument. (Thomas regretted giving that thing to him. Yes, it had made logical sense after the attempted poisoning. No, it had never been used for anything as practical as an antidote.) Thomas turned to Virgil. “You too,” he said. “Give.”

“I don’t have anything,” Virgil said with no hint of deception in his expression. Which, of course, meant he was lying to Thomas’s face.

“Nuh uh,” Thomas said. “Give it.”

They had a staring contest for a few moments before Virgil finally sighed. To Thomas’s surprise, he did not take out the fire knife. Instead, Virgil reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of what looked like rocks. He put them in Thomas’s outstretched hand.

Thomas had no idea what they were by sight, but considering the theme of their lantern decoration attempts (that is explosives and fire) he could hazard a guess.

“Am I holding explosives in my hand?” Thomas asked.

“They won’t explode unless they come into contact with vinegar,” Logan said.

“So, they are explosive,” Thomas said. “Just not currently active ones.”

“…I suppose,” Logan said.

Thomas opened Logan’s potion kit to get one of its sterile empty containers and put the explosive rocks into it. Then, he zipped the potion kit back up, with a mental note to himself to make sure to take the explosive rocks out of it before giving it back. He pointed at the lantern on the ground. “Paint it like normal people, please.”

Virgil leaned over towards Logan and spoke out of the side of his mouth. “King of Boring more like.”

“I can hear you,” Thomas pointed out, but Virgil, of course, had intended to be heard.

He grinned up innocently in response and Thomas just shook his head before lowering himself to the ground next to the scorched patch of grass.

In addition to their nontraditional decorating supplies, they did also have the usual supply of paints, ribbons, and colorful pieces of paper with them. They brought these out now and began work on making a few more lanterns to decorate. (As Logan and Virgil had only bothered to make one and it was now scorched on the inside.)

Patton and Helen arrived as they were finishing setting up their 6th (unburnt) lantern. The fact that Helen was not in the kitchen must mean all of the food for the festivities was officially finished and likely being handed out by other members of the staff. She’d been working almost nonstop for the past week to make sure everything was ready.

Both of them were carrying a basket full of enough food to provide snacks and dinner for their group for the rest of the night.

Most people did not go back inside during the Lantern Festival from midafternoon until all of the lanterns had been released into the night sky and disappeared, so, they had to have food for the entire night. Most of the food Helen had prepared was traditional for the festival (though there was a nonzero chance Helen had slipped some chicken alfredo into one of the baskets.)

Virgil had gotten to try a lot of the traditional dishes last year, but Thomas still couldn’t help but smile thinking about all of the sweet breads and meat stuffed pies the boy was going to shove into his face tonight.

One of Thomas’s personal favorites was a soft muffin-like pastry. When broken apart, a golden filling reminiscent of the lit lanterns was revealed. The dessert was usually eaten a bit before the lanterns were released and was shared between two people. Thomas had shared the treat with Virgil the year before and the boy had been entranced by the sparkling filling.

It had been a nice moment, one where Virgil’s leeriness towards him (that had never quite gone away after Thomas knew about his past) had faded for a moment, and the boy had just been a 14-year-old. It had warmed Thomas’ heart to see it.

God, but in those moments when his walls dropped, did he always remind Thomas of Aedan.

Now, Virgil was 15, and while Thomas could always see traces of his past in the ways he acted sometimes, things were better now. Thomas saw more of those moments where Virgil felt safe every day.

Like right now, when Logan pulled out a book detailing common Lantern Festival symbols and their meanings, Virgil only took a moment to glance at their surroundings with a cautious eye before bending over the book to take a closer look.

He had gotten much better at reading after Thomas got him a real tutor, but he still mouthed a few of the words to himself as he read the page.

He seemed to make a decision about one of his drawings because he sat back and grabbed some of the paints. Patton spoke happily to him, complimenting his color choices enthusiastically for “that one.”

Jeffers returned from wherever he’d gone off to a few minutes later. He’d brought himself a chair from his shed to sit on instead of sitting on the ground with the rest of them. Despite all the active work he did in the gardens all day, apparently sitting on the ground hurt his back.

He’d also brought a handful of something which he slipped to Virgil.

“Are these the new radishes?” Virgil asked, a hint of excitement to his tone.

Jeffers grunted an affirmation. “Thought you could be the first to try them.”

Virgil was more than happy to do so of course. (It was food, and it was gardening.) Thomas watched him chew happily; his eyes were brighter than the lanterns they would release in a few hours.

He was unsurprised when, amongst the traditional painted symbols representing safety, family, and home, a radish also appeared on Virgil’s lantern that night.

Perhaps it was a strange thing to put on a lantern symbolizing your wishes for the next year, but when the golden lantern floated into the sky hours later, Thomas thought it was perfect.

~~~

Thanks for reading and to everyone who voted and interacted as I live wrote this story over the past few years! Don't forget to check out the Little Kestrel Stats Page to see how your votes affected the end of the story. (There were 27 possible endings!)

If you'd like to impact my writing in the future, watch the Study Break Stories Tag. I hope to be returning to Folds in Paper before the end of the year.

For more in the Birds of Different Feathers Series, see my Birds of Different Feathers Master Post.

For more from me, see my Masterpost.

Thanks!

[ayellowcurtain]

“Sander...” Robbe whispers, pulling Sander closer like he always does.  

Sander hums, letting this boy do whatever he’s pleased with him. He pulls and pushes Sander wherever he wants, but Sander tries hard not to engage. Because you are perfect and I’m a fuck up and I don’t want to mess you up.  

People say teenagers have a lot of hormones, and Sander is no better. Of course, he wants to engage, to hold Robbe tighter, let his hands wander up and down his lean figure, and explore everything his brain has already painted in his imagination. But, at the same time, he thinks Robbe is too good for him, so it’s better to keep some boundaries in the imminent case he breaks Robbe’s heart and traumatizes some experiences for him.  

Robbe grunts in between kisses, letting Sander know he is frustrated with Sander basically pretending to be dead while they kiss, holding back from starting a make-out session he is not sure he will be able to resist taking further.  

“You’re annoying,” Robbe complains, pushing Sander away from his arms and legs, a second from pouting.  

“Hey!” Sander smiles, feeling his whole chest warm, trying to grab Robbe’s wrists or shins to pull him closer. After a little bit of a fight, Robbe is close again and willing. Sander holds the back of his head, kissing him slow and deep, holding the hair that reaches Robbe’s nape a little too tight to be innocent.  

They spent yet another whole afternoon in this pull-and-push game. Robbe climbs his lap and wraps his long, lazy limbs around Sander and it gets harder and harder to put a stop to it after every round.  

“You’re a baby...my baby.” Sander hears himself voicing his thoughts out loud. He thinks about taking a picture of Robbe like this, messy, spent, with his hair pointing in a million different directions, with his lips puffy and dry, but he knows his gallery is filled with pictures of Robbe already.  

They stopped kissing because Robbe’s phone wouldn’t stop beeping with a row of new messages. Sander could tell it was from his mom because Robbe’s whole body language changes when he talks to his mom or dad. He adjusts his posture like his parents are there, seeing and correcting him, the easy smile that’s always resting on his cheeks is gone, and he tries to fix his hair. Robbe looks completely different. And he is very evasive when explaining what the messages were about. Something about religion, something about Robbe being his mom’s miracle baby.  

For someone so soft, easy, kind, and open-hearted about human goodness, Robbe believes in very little things that are not proven scientifically. And it’s written all over his face that his deeply cynical beliefs stem from whatever happened within his family. 

To change Sander’s attention and avoid another attempt at a conversation about Robbe’s family, his demeanor changes back to how it was before the text. Soft, compliant, trying to make Sander lay down on his bed.  

“I want to be yours,” Robbe whispers like a secret against his lips.  

Sander sighs, running a hand through Robbe’s soft hair. “You’re way too young for me.” He teases, turning his face away, looking out of the window across the room, trying not to smile. 

Robbe grunts, “Fuck you,” and pushes him away again, pulling him back just as quickly, pressing their lips together.  

After hours of making out with his dream human, Sander’s self-control is struggling. Robbe’s tongue is warm, the right amount of slow and curious, and before he notices, Robbe is straddling him and Sander is squeezing the sides of Robbe’s small waist, a second away from pushing his hips up- 

Thankfully, Robbe stops their kiss, sitting up on top of Sander, snaking his hands inside Sander’s shirt, pushing it up until Sander’s shoulder blades stop him from going further.  

He seems to inspect Sander’s exposed torso – they haven’t seen each other shirtless before.  

Sander smiles lazily, pressing his lips together so as not to engage, and ends up asking if Robbe likes what he sees.  

One of Robbe’s cold, ridiculously soft hands goes up right in the middle, stopping to feel Sander’s heartbeat, smiling when he notices how fast it is beating. He goes back down, smiling mischievously as he pays special attention to the line of hair that goes inside Sander's black jeans, he holds a few hairs and pulls.  

“Ouch!” Sander writhes, putting his hand where it stings.  

They stay there for a moment, looking at each other, Sander feeling goosebumps because of his exposed torso and because Robbe is right there, on top of him, only a few pieces of clothes in between.  

“One day I will win this fight. And you’ll regret having waited this long...”  

Sander sighs, defeated and in love, nodding his head. “I’m sure I will. But then we’ll make up for all this lost time.”  

“Promise?” Robbe asks. 

Sander nods his head again. “Promise. I’ll get us a nice hotel room and all.”  

Robbe smiles at him, finally coming close again for another kiss. Sander doubts he will be able to resist this boy for long if he keeps asking like that.  

[sanderssidesthehouse]

"Ever heard of an imperfect ally?"

"Ever heard of irreconcilable differences?"

Janus paused. "Why are we married in your scenario?"

Rated T.

"Why are you being so difficult? We want the same thing," Janus hissed, quite possibly a tad too close.

"Well clearly we don't want the same thing. I want to do the right thing and I don't think you could do that if you tried," Roman seethed right back, leaning in closer.

"But you also want to spread your wings! To create freely, to take opportunities. You are being limited! I can help you!"

"I don't believe you! How can I trust you with this when you're the enemy in every other situation?!"

"Ever heard of an imperfect ally?"

"Ever heard of irreconcilable differences?"

Janus paused. "Why are we married in your scenario?"

"We're getting a divorce in my scenario! We're clearly separated!" Roman threw his hand sin the air, turned, and stomped a few paces away.

"Really? Why did we get married if we hate each other so much?"

"Oh. Well…” He paused, a thoughtful look replacing his previous snarl. “Probably because despite your tendency to do everything that Patton tells us not to, you are still very kind to me and we are both very attractive and it was probably a spur of the moment thing, a little fling filled with a passion that we thought was hatred and frustration but turned out to be something else and then turned out to be frustration and hatred. It was a spring wedding and the cherry blossoms were floating peacefully down as we eloped."

"I do appreciate the dramatics. Who was our witness?"

Roman turned back, already in his pondering posture. "Hmm... Well it would have had to happen in the imagination so who do you want to be our witness?"

"Shirley Jackson."

"You would be a Shirley Jackson fan."

"You pick one then." He totally wasn’t even a little bit offended.

"... I never said I wasn't a Shirley Jackson fan."

… Previous non-offense retracted. "And who officiated?"

"Gene Kelly. He became officially ordained just for us."

"Didn't he die in '96?"

"I'm impressed! He did, but it's the imagination. I'm the boss and I can do what I want."

"Oh? Tell me more."

"Well since you're such a fan of my dramatics, there will be 99 empty chairs and one filled by our witness separated into two halves with 50 on each side, ten rows of five to create an aisle. A red carpet is rolled out, obviously-"

"Obviously."

"- and I'm wearing a regal suit of white, gold, and red, my signature colors. What are you wearing?"

"Hmm, well, my usual attire wouldn't do... I'm no Creativity, but I think I can come up with a little something."

He paused, pretending he didn’t have fancier back up outfits that he’d thought about a thousand times, then Janus snapped himself into a suit he thought would fit the occasion. He kept his usual slacks and shoes, but he was wearing a white shirt and black tie underneath a golden yellow vest embroidered in black with snakes and over that was a black suit coat with dramatic tails. The gloves and hat remained of course.

He might have chosen a dress but then he would definitely be a black widow and spiders were so Virgil’s thing.

“For you, darling.” Janus flicked his wrist and produced a daffodil.

“For me? A daffodil? If I recall correctly, they represent selfishness.”

“Of course they do.”

Roman wasn’t paying Janus any attention at this point, he already had his right thumb and forefinger to his chin, and Janus knew nothing he said at the moment would get through.

“That might just be the purple one, though. Strength and overcoming obstacles for certain. That would be cute. But there was something else, too… I wish I could remember. I bet Specs would know. He knows everything Thomas has ever learned, no matter how whimsiful. Ha. I bet that drives him crazy.”

“I bet. But don’t you have anything for me?”

“But of course, mi rey.” Roman flourished and along with changing his outfit, a flick of his own wrist produced a dozen red roses mixed with some red carnations. The bouquet was bound with a golden snake.

“Show off,” Janus totally didn’t grumble.

“I can’t help what I am.”

“Truly. And what you are is impressive, I must say,” he purred.

“Who, me? Do go on.”

“You are strong and kind and virtuous. And you have been oh, so neglected, yet despite this you push on, trying to do the right thing, even when it cuts you to your core. That’s why you need someone to look out for you, because your goodness will be your undoing. Be selfish for once, Roman, and I mean truly selfish. Not just pushing back to be heard. Take what you need.”

“I can’t just take what I want with no regard for others. I’ll admit that I haven’t always been the best about it, but I deeply regret the pain I’ve caused the others… and you.”

“That’s behind us now. You needn’t cling so to the past.”

“Logan says those who do not remember history are doomed to repeat it.”

“True, but those who linger in the past will have no future. There is a balance to be struck.”

“Why are you helping me?”

“It’s my job. My core function. Your core function is Creativity, but you are also the Ego. I may lie, but my core function is to preserve and protect you. The others as well, but you are my main charge.”

“I don’t want or need your help.”

“You may not want it, but you do need it. You may scorn me at every turn, but it doesn’t change what I must do. Without Thomas’s sense of self, there is nothing left to be concerned with. You so-called light sides have been waging wars worse than any I have hidden are capable of. The scars on all of you cut deep. You have to stop this. Balance can not come at the cost of any of you, least of all you, my prince.”

“So then why are you telling just me to take?”

“Patton already knows what he must do, Virgil will probably never listen to me again, Logan needs a far gentler and more time consuming touch, and of course, Remus has never hesitated, he needs no guidance on this issue.”

“I still don’t know…”

“I will wait, but there is only so long I can give you.”

“I just… I have to be his hero. What am I if not that?”

“You will always be his hero. You stumbled. We’re in the third act. There’s still time before the climax, don’t give up on our prince just yet.”

“... That’s it!”

“There’s still time before the climax?” It was a good thing Remus wasn’t around just then.

“No, the other meaning! It represents broken or unrequited love- Oh.”

“Don’t say oh.”

“Oh.”

“No need to italicize it.”

“You- Do you- That is, what I mean to say is-”

“Oh come on, Roman. As if I know what flowers mean. It’s yellow. That’s my thing.”

“Then why not a yellow rose?”

“Well everyone knows that one. The friendship flower probably isn’t the best one for a wedding.”

“We’re not actually getting married.”

“I know that,” Janus hissed. “You’re the one I was worried about confusing fantasy for reality, changing the tense of your verbiage and all.”

“You snapped into a suit first.”

“You snapped into a suit, second.”

“Really? That’s all you’ve got?”

“What else do you want from me?” is not what he meant to say, but it’s what came out of his mouth.

“... The truth. I was receptive to you at first because I didn’t want to make the same mistake we did with Virgil, but then everyone was upset at me for it, and you and Patton were literally on opposite sides of the courtroom and so I thought that I was wrong again, and of course you set Remus on us after that so I was certain that I was supposed to oppose you but… Then everything went horribly and you helped Patton and they say I’m supposed to like you now, so what’s the truth? I tried to decide for myself but it seems like no matter what I do, I’m wrong. Maybe if Thomas had Remus instead of me this whole time-”

“Roman. Repressing Remus was regrettable, but I can’t think of a single situation in which trading you for him would have been beneficial. Sure, Remus is as free a thinker as they come, but he’s also chaos incarnate. And as far as the truth…”

Janus looked down at his gloves. Was he doing this again? He sighed. He would do it for Roman. Taking a glove off, starting by pulling at the fingers, revealed a scaled hand which he held up as proof of his oath.

“I solemnly swear that I only have Thomas’s best interests at heart, and that I want to help you create a life worth living. I hope that you will work with me towards this goal.”

He wasn’t sure what he expected, but nowhere on Janus’s list was getting tackle hugged by a tearful prince.

“Shhh, it will be alright.” Janus ran his ungloved fingers through Roman’s hair. “I’ve got you. Now and forever. Till death do us part.”

Roman pulled out of the hug with his hands firmly on Janus’s shoulders. He nodded. “Till death do us part.”

[lefaystrent]

One Man's Boon is Another Man's Bummer

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: none despite God's best efforts

Summary: "So because I lived a boring ass life and never had a long time boyfriend or got married or whatever sentimental crap, I'm being subjected to...romance? In an alternate universe? After dying?"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

In other words, Virgil gets isikaed.

-------------------------------------------------------

The weirdest part of Virgil's day is not waking up in a fantasy universe where he's apparently the son of a very prominent lord.

The weirdest part is not even the fact that he remembers vividly dying in the most horrifically embarrassing way before waking up in said universe. He slipped in the shower and banged his head. Naked. People were going to find his dead body and it was naked. He thinks he could die a second time just picturing it.

The weirdest part is also not that the sky is green here and the grass is blue. Or that dragons grow no bigger than miniature ponies and aristocrats keep them as symbolic pets to stroke their elitist egos. Or that normal fucking water tastes like peppermint. Virgil hates peppermint.

No, the weirdest thing?

That would be the tiny fairy named Thomas who flies around him, unable to be seen by everyone else, and proudly declared himself as Virgil's guide to finding true love.

Virgil sits on a California sized king bed propped up by a dozen pillows. He wears pajamas made from like, fancy imported spider silk material. Except Virgil asked why the hell someone had dressed him in silk pajamas while he'd been sleeping and a maid looked at him and asked, "What's silk, sir?"

They call it tissle. Virgil isn't sure why, but just the sound of the word pisses him off. He's wearing tissle pajamas, how silly of him.

Of course, the anger came way after the panic. The kind of screeching panic that catapulted him from the ridiculous bed and had him screaming in fright at all of the servants that dared to approach him. And there were quite a few servants too. And they called him "young lord" and tried to calm him down and explained that he had not been kidnapped by rich people but lived here. This was his home. He had fainted in the garden, didn't he remember?

No the fuck he doesn't remember.

"It's to be expected," Thomas the fairy tells him sympathetically. He flits about, trailing glitter out of his butt or whatever. He's got butterfly wings and wears a sparkly tunic getup, and Virgil has tried numerous times to clap his hands at him like he's an annoying mosquito but he keeps getting away.

"What, my life becoming an isikae anime?" Virgil asks petulantly. He's allowed to be a little petulant, given the situation.

Thomas giggles, "No, of course not! That part's a once in a chance lifetime! You're very lucky."

"Look into my eyes and say that again."

"Er, what I meant was that a little memory loss is to be expected from the experience."

"I died. I woke up in a stupid fantasy universe. I've been kidnapped by rich people. What am I not remembering here?"

"Other than all the memories from this alternate reality? Nothing much, you pretty much got it!"

If looks alone could sear the flesh from bones...

Thomas waves his hands and wisely flutters back a foot. "Hey, don't give me that look. I'm just your guide. I didn't select you for soul reassignment."

Virgil honestly growls, "Then who's the bastard responsible for this so I can shove my foot up their ass?"

"Are you always this violent?"

No, not really. Virgil lived a pretty boring, mediocre life before he died. Most days, he'd rather fall down an open manhole than subject himself to confrontation.

He doesn't exactly feel like himself at the moment. The only saving grace is that his body is unchanged. He's got the same terrible pale skin, lanky limbs, and dark bangs that hang in his eyes. Had he woken up as a completely different person... That would have thrust him into madness.

"So what did I do to be so lucky?" Virgil asks, deadpanned.

They're alone in this massive bedroom that could fit his old apartment. It took awhile, but he'd managed to push the servants out the door and barricade it. Now he can talk freely with the buzzing insect and not be seen as crazy. Crazier. Crazier than before, at least

Thomas twirls in the air, and there are tiny golden bells tied around his ankles that chime with the movement. He's brimming with cheer as he explains, "Very few souls receive the honor of soul reassignment. This occurs at the time of passing, when the body can no longer contain the soul. Normally, the person would pass on into the afterlife, but the powers that be decided to give you a second chance!"

"So I need to kick God's ass is what you're saying."

"The powers that be, and no. There will be no kicking of deity booties. This is meant to be a precious boon for those who experienced purpose unfulfilled."

"So because I lived a boring ass life and never had a long time boyfriend or got married or whatever sentimental crap, I'm being subjected to...romance? In an alternate universe? After dying?"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

Virgil lays down on the bed and cover his head with the blankets. "I'm going to sleep and never waking up."

"Wha– but Virgil! I haven't even told you about your five prospective love interests! They were specifically chosen for you!"

Virgil can hear and feel the fairy thrumming above him. Itty bitty hands tug at his hair to no effect.

"Young lord?" a voice calls beyond the barricadded door. "We sent for a physician and your parents are on their way as well. We're worried for you. Please let us help."

"Fat chance," Virgil seethes and stays in bed out of spite.

-------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Yes the five love interests are the other sides. No I have no current plans to continue this AU. I just wanted to make Virgil suffer. But I can tell you that the story would revolve around Virgil meeting all of the sides, finding himself in cliche romantic situations, and vehemently refusing to fall in love with any of them. The powers that be watch on from above very tiredly. Thomas tries his best to be a literal wingman. Virgil's more interested in finding new things to despise about the fantasy world he now lives in.

[clydesavage-thefox147]

So, I feel the need to say something here.

So, I watched a recent video Thomas has been in with Smosh Pit. It was overall a sweet and funny video. But that's not what this is about. It's about the ending. When Thomas was asked the quintessential question of "where can they find you?" He goes like "Oh I do shorts, long form and short form" and "keeping up Vine". I was like yeah makes sense to bring that up, that's fine. But then he brought up Roleslaying with Roman. He was very happy to bring it up. However, no mention of Sanders Sides at all. I get it, Sides could be chalked up the being long form Vine things seeing as the characters are from Vine but...feels off. I remember times Thomas did advertise Sides on collabs and stuff. But other times he wouldn't really advertise anything specifically and just say the socials' names and just say basic shit like "fun videos with nice messages" etc.

But, I've also taken note that Thomas has been REEEEEEALLY pushing Roleslaying, a series that a lot of us weren't really expecting to be the way it turned out to be. We were just told "Roman series" for like a couple years before it was officially revealed. We all expected Sides Roman and we all felt kinda ripped off. Don't get me wrong, the series is nice and all, has a decent story, and it can be engaging to a degree, but it does have it pit falls. But, he's been really adamant on getting the series popular. Constantly promoting it, making a podcast for it(which to me seems unnecessary) and what seems like begging(to me) for 5 star reviews so that Roman of Reston can read them. Now it's like number 25 on Leisure on Spotify because of it. That is great and all but again, Thomas seems like he's forgetting where this series even originated from...Sanders Sides. His bread and butter. The series that garnered a majority of fans he has. A series we're all waiting for proper episodes for with the same spark and energy that it had originally. It seems Thomas has just lost interest in Sides but knows it's what got him popular on the YouTube space so he keeps it up for the money and relevance(for example Patreon branding). He says he still loves the series and enjoys working on it but the longer it takes to produce, the more it seems like it's taken a back seat in priority. I really hope this season finale is really worth the hype he's been pushing for it. But, the way he's been pushing Roleslaying makes it seem like he's saying "Like this! Please Like this! I wanna do this more!" Thomas, buddy, you need to realize that Roleslaying wouldn't exist without the popularity of Sanders Sides. Hell, Sanders Sides wouldn't exist without the Vine characters.

Now look, I get that Thomas shouldn't be tied down to just doing Sides content. But, using it now as a kind of cash grap and attention grabber like dangling keys in front of child feels sad to me. Feels like lately he's been using it as a buzz word or just for products...which is ironic because all sides merch has been wiped off the merch store. Sure, it could be making way for new ideas but they've made several over the years under the same manufacturer and didn't do this before. So, it feels off. If it was because they were out of stock, they could just list it as "Sold Out", not wipe it entirely. And Now he's released Roleslaying merch and new Could be Gayer merch. Which that's fine, just feels weird that that is all that is available right now. Especially because I remember Thomas talking about hoodies for each side back in December of 2021 but a manufacturing issue came up. He said that it was due to the company not being able to do "custom orders" like that detailed. Which, I understood. But then like a week or so later, the Bucket Hats were released which just didn't really help the previous statement. So this whole thing feels off. I'm just hoping it's just a wait of restock or new design releases in the future.

I know this year has been hard on Thomas to do what he wanted in terms of the season finale. I hope that now that things are seemingly getting better, he'll continue the promise he made this year into next year of getting at least Part 1 of it out, maybe two if lucky. I just feel like Sides has plummeted from grace. What it once had is now a slowly crumbling ancient temple, that the more you try to patch it and keep it up..it doesn't last long. If there isn't a significant restoration done soon, it'll all fall apart. I pray that once the Season finale is released, the fandom will have a resurgence. Old fanders come back, animatics are everywhere, art is flying out like hot cakes, forums are booming, it's trending everywhere, and the fandom is reborn...and hope it stays that way into the third and final season. Hell, I hope Joan does come back to a degree and revive the husk the series has become. But, it's up to them to decide that. Now, seems like Quil is the only one left of the old writers of the series. And if she leaves, season 3 is going to be wild and may not even feel canon but again we have yet to see that.

I just want what drew me to this series back again. Is that too much to ask genuinely?

[selfdestructivecat]

I’ve seen quite a few posts in response to Thomas’ recent video, specifically his year in review. In this video, he discusses the setbacks he’s faced the past few years — such as the quarantine, Joan’s departure, and his own personal doubts and insecurities — and how they impacted the production of Sanders Sides.

And I truly sympathize with him. No, seriously! It’s already difficult to create something this big almost entirely on your own, but I’m sure this year only made things even more difficult. I know I’ve definitely felt insecure to the point of feeling sick when it came to things I created, so I can empathize with the enormous amount pressure he must be feeling.

However, many posts I’ve seen following this video are saying things along the lines of “If people still criticize Thomas after this video, then I’m going to lose it” or “Not that people who criticize Thomas even care, but Thomas really struggled this year. I’m with him all the way!”, or even “I bet SaSi critics will still demand the finale even after this. I doubt they’ll even watch the video!”

I want to clarify that this is obviously not everyone who doesn’t like ts criticism. People who block criticism blogs and/or the tag, who ignore criticism in general, or who feel upset when they see criticism of something they love: this is not about you. You are absolutely valid and entitled to feeling the way you do, and I hope you have a lovely day. Feel free to block me if that would be good for your mental health. Please take care of yourself. /gen

But to those vocally condemning ts critics, I want to make several things clear.

First of all, you are lumping everyone who criticizes the show in with people who demand the finale with no regard for Thomas’ well-being, for the well-being of his crew, and for basic common sense. While many people are upset that the finale isn’t out yet, we aren’t specifically mad that we don’t have a completed video to watch; rather, we are frustrated with what this says about the SaSi crew, their work ethic, and how they treat fans of the show.

We aren’t upset that we can’t watch the finale right now. We are upset that we’ve gotten very few updates about the show during this period between canon episodes. This video provided wonderful insight into why the finale has been delayed, and we would have loved something like this years ago. Obviously it didn’t have to be a 20 minute video, but maybe a Twitter thread? Something small that made us feel heard?

Hell, even announcing an official hiatus would have satisfied the vast majority of critics (myself included), instead of throwing SaSi into this limbo of “Oh it’s going to be finished this year, we promise- oh whoops, never mind! Next year for sure!” It’s been a constant chain of broken promises, and we were more than happy to give the crew some grace the first few times, but after a while, a repeated mistake becomes a pattern. And this pattern is not pretty.

We are upset that the crew seems incredibly disorganized (going back to the lack of updates, and of course taking into account how we haven’t gotten even a single part of the finale in five years), which could affect the quality of this series we all love so dearly. beauty-and-passion has spoken about this a lot (and is a lot more eloquent than me lmao, please go check out their stuff!) The most recent Christmas video seems to demonstrate that the series may be on the right track, and I will admit I was wrong in regards to this video, but the Inside Out video is a mess in so many ways. Even if this doesn’t prove a decline in quality, it certainly indicates a lack of consistency, which can be just as damning for a series.

We are upset that, while SaSi is in this limbo, Thomas seems to have been focusing on his other projects without telling us about this change in priority. He is welcome to pursue other projects, obviously. I’m thrilled that he is having fun with Roleslaying with Roman and My Roommate is Hades. But these new projects have come at the cost of Sanders Sides content, which also points towards a lack of organization. Some clarity towards which projects Thomas chooses to focus on would have been wonderful and greatly appreciated, so that we know not to expect something we won’t receive. And hey, maybe if we knew not to expect SaSi content until much later, maybe we wouldn’t have been constantly asking why we weren’t receiving SaSi content?

(And this is not an excuse for aggressively demanding content, obviously. But I feel like people who are confused and frustrated at not receiving something promised to them are justified in these feelings.)

And maybe we’re jumping to conclusions in many regards. I won’t pretend that we are prophets who can peer into Thomas’ mind and know what he’s thinking and feeling at all times. But it’s pretty damn difficult to say that NONE of the above could suggest that Sanders Sides isn’t held in the same regard as it once was. Hell, Thomas even admits in the video that he doesn’t feel as connected with these characters as he once did.

Second, many people attacking critics are also quick to drag their character. We are impatient, greedy, selfish, and cruel. We don’t care about Thomas; we only care about the end product! More Sanders Sides at any cost! We don’t like critical thinking, since we obviously didn’t watch the video; we only want to find mean things to say about Thomas and the show! We don’t like engaging in civil debate with our fellow Fanders who may disagree with our opinions; we only want to make other people feel bad, and to make others hate the show, too!

Well, guess what? You’re doing to us exactly what you think we’re doing to Thomas: you’re assuming the absolute worst of us and looking for any reason to drag us down.

We are critics. We analyze media (media that we love, mind you) and we acknowledge that it isn’t perfect, that the creators aren’t perfect, and we point it out. But we still love it anyway, because to truly love something is to love it with its flaws, to know that it could be better, to brainstorm how it could reach its true potential, and to keep doing so because you believe in this potential.

We aren’t trying to take away the joy you feel from Sanders Sides. So please don’t try to take away ours.

[oatmealdaydreams]

What’s your favorite thing about your favorite Thomas Sanders character(s)?

Hey, Anon :D

Well, let's see...

Remus/Remus: I love how unsettling he is and how he's not afraid to be himself and do fuck-all. I relate a lot to being a weird, creepy sibling people are hesitant to be around, so Remus is a big comfort character. Also, I love how he's also Creativity and has lots of his own ideas, no matter how dark they may be. And his humour sends me every time (lmao). And of course, the weird facts he knows is very relatable. And the fact he just wants to be listened to and acknowledged. And all the unhinged chaos from him. And the drama and him just being a freakin' goober.

Logan/Logan: Him being a giant nerd and one of the more-mature Sides in the group is a bit relatable. I love seeing him being enthusiastic about Crofter's and making puns and when he gets to indulge in things he really likes. Him being very intelligent but also struggling with emotions and such. How bad he just wants to be taken seriously and listened and such. How he keeps getting pushed around and ignored, and when as soon as he lashes out because he's hurting, the Others blame him for it. I love how he apologizes for lashing out, though it's always his right to. I relate a lot to how he represses the "icky emotions" or refrains himself because he thinks he can't be emotional if he's to be taken seriously.

Roman/Roman: how passionate he is about things he loves, like acting and Disney and his creative merits. How he keeps getting used and manipulated and he's just so confused because he needs clear structure as the Ego, but everything is just jumbled and he's not sure what's right to do anymore. All of the angst with this poor guy is just relatable. How happy he gets when Logan asked him for his creative help!! That was a vulnerable and wholesome moment. How creative he gets and how he shows he knows his fellow Sides and friends through his gifts (him getting Janus socks for warmth and writing an entire story/fanfic/play about Sherlock for Logan). He's just so thoughtful and caring. He shows he loves them through playful teasing and jokes and banter!! And he's growing and learning and apologizing when he screws up. Like, him and Virgil getting closer and becoming besties. How insecure he is because he's terrified of failure and being imperfect and especially of rejection.

Virgil/Virgil: he's been a fav of mine since middle school, which was around the time the series was first starting and soon we met him as Anxiety (way back in 2016). I've related to him especially as someone who was a bit emo and also struggles A Lot with anxiety and an anxiety disorder(s). His fashion sense with his purple jacket/hoodie is my fav thing, btw. He was a big part of my comfort growing up. Kind of a nostalgic comfort. I love how he has spiders all over his room because I relate to loving spiders and not being scared of them. I love his sarcasm and humour and his counterpoints. I love his debate episode with Logan. This snarky spiderling was a big reason why I'm still alive, believe or not, and so he's an important character to me. Just a big Fav to me.

Janus/Janus: This sarcastic, villain-aesthetic serpent is important to me because of the fact that he's both Deceit AND Self-Perseveration. It's so damn relatable because I was the kid who knew how to lie so well that my lies were almost always regarded as truth. I had to lie and hide things to survive because I grew up as a queer Christian kid in a scary and unsupportive place. If I slipped up the slightest, there was absolute horror to pay. Also, the queer-coded villain aesthetic is one of my fav things. This man doesn't need to be that melodramatic but he is because that's what he likes to do. He's a petty lil drama king, and I love that about him. Also his [implied?] angst of having this fear of vulnerability and getting hurt again is... it's very important to me.

Patton/Patton: I relate to him the least, but oh boy do I have things to SAY. Him a total dad and making so much puns is funny to me. It's very relatable to be the kind of person so take care [or try to] of everyone else but forget about myself. Him loving cats but being allergic is comical, lmao. Him trying to repress and hide his "icky emotions" and just showing the happy positive ones is something that's a bit too relatable. As someone who's struggled with smiling depression, it can get to the point where people don't believe you when you finally show a hint of not being okay. And so you just go back to faking it, and then get ignored again whilst taking care of everyone else. But yeah, he's a pretty good character and almost reminds me of some family of mine.

c!Thomas/c!Thomas: one thing I will never get over about this character is the fact that he's a struggling artist and creator that is going through A Lot and still healing and discovering things about himself. That's some of the most relatable shit. He's so human and shows the healing process as a bumpy road which is TRUE to reality and I love it. His Sides and him are learning together, and that's just beautiful. Maybe not my most fav, but still pretty high up there on the Brainrot chart.

As you can see, I have things to say about ALL of them. All of the main seven, anyway. I'm sure I'll have lots to say once we meet and see Orange.

[sorry this was so long]

[chameleon66]

The framed fate of two twins

Sanders sides soulmate au: In this universe on your sixteenth birthday the last photo you and your soulmate were both in will be sent to you framed and when you first touch it will reveal the picture (And that picture can be updated to the most recent picture).

Ships: Prinxiety and Dukeceit (Yeah that poll I did was a joke, I was going to do both along)

Warnings: Remus being himself, soulmate au, mild angst, (Let me know if I need to add anything)

Word count: 3129

Remus and Roman were about as different as twins could get from each other, Roman was in the drama club and well liked by practically everyone as he was charming, witty and not to be shallow but very good looking.

Remus had always been a problematic guy, he liked to fool around and break rules, he wasn’t bad, just chaotic. Plus there were people who admired his bold and outgoing nature.

Despite their differences there was one thing the brothers had in common, they could not wait for their sixteenth birthday to find out who their soulmate was. After hearing their parents' story of meeting each other they both desperately wanted to know who their soulmates were. The idea of having the special someone to share secrets and love with made them both giddy with joy.

Soon enough it was their sixteenth birthday and both of them made plans for the day, Roman invited some of his theater club friends and they all chipped in so they could go to the local community theaterhouse to watch ‘The Neverending Story’. While Remus asked Janus to go to a R rated movie with him then they’d go look at some wall murals downtown.

Remus was on cloud nine knowing he’d get to know who his soulmate was that nightstand couldn’t stop talking about it, not that Janus minded, he always thought Remus was adorable when he was excited. Remus hardly payed attention to the movie and when they stopped to take pictures together in front of the mural, in the back of his mind he thought it wouldn’t be so bad if saw one the photos he took with Jan in the frame, but out of all the people on earth what were the chances it would be him. Remus didn’t know Math isn't his strong suit but he could hope.

Roman meanwhile was to put it lightly, a complete stressed mess. He couldn’t stop thinking that he’d get to see who his soulmate was that night and he was going a mile a minute snapping pictures of everyone in the group and everyone passing by because according to him “What if I walk by them today and don’t realize it Patton!” It took Patton the whole walk to the theater to calm Roman down with his promise that the stars wouldn’t doom Romna to be alone forever and once he met his soulmate they’d be perfect for eachother, Roman could only hope.

Both brothers arrived home just before dinner was to be served and they’re mom couldn’t stop saying how happy she was for them and that they weren’t her little baby boys anymore while their dad patted both of his sons on the back and told him he was happy for them.

After dinner they all shared a chocolate cake that their mom baked herself, then it was time for them to open the packages that came addressed to them that afternoon when the mail man arrived. They all sat down in the living room, both brothers shaking in anticipation as they were handed the wrapped packages. Remus and Roman didn’t hesitate as they both messily tore off the wrapping paper then opened the lid of the boxes to find two identical frames in the box.

Both twin’s hands reached down in the box and grabbed the frames which instantly lit up to reveal the pictures hidden. Remus’s picture was the selfie he and Janus took earlier that day downtown in front of a mural called while Roman’s was the cast and crew photo from the show he had closed at school a few days ago, Beauty and the Beast.

The brothers were stunned quietly as their parents began yelling happily but neither responded to the yelling.

Remus was thrilled, his best friend was his soulmate but did Janus like Remus that way? What if they weren’t meant to be? What if he ended up losing Janus as a soulmate and best friend? What if it was a mistake? Millions of questions flooded Remus’s brain all at once, and Remus had no answers.

Roman was puzzled, His soulmate had to have been in the picture but then which person in the picture was his soulmate? I couldn’t have been Patton or any of his other friends he was with that day since he took many other pictures with them that day. So that narrowed it down to at least a dozen other people in the photo, but then who was it?

— Timeskip, to the next day at school —

That morning both brothers came to school with a purpose, to talk/find their soulmate. Remus texted Janus before class to meet up at their favorite spot behind the bleachers at the football field during lunch. That is when he planned to tell Janus that he was his soulmate, until then all he could do was hope, which felt like all he had been doing lately.

Roman on the other hand was as busy as a bee playing detective trying to find out who his soulmate could be, before school and in between his classes he took selfie after selfie with the cast and crew of the recent school play but the picture in the frame remained the same picture. In fact Roman almost gave up when he was rushing to the cafeteria to meet with Patton for lunch class when suddenly someone crashed into him and knocked his phone out of his hands.

Both Roman and the person he walked into fell to the floor in the hallway with a grunt.

“Oh I’m sorry.” Roman started to gather the belongings scattered across the floor. “I wasn’t looking where-.” Silence woke up mid Roman’s sentence when he looked at the person he crashed into. Then all time seemed to fall still.

The person Roman crashed into was dressed darkly in ripped jeans and a hoodie that looked to be hand sewn, his hair was dyed purple and he had dark circles under his eyes that could have been makeup with how dark they were. The person blushed as he looked up and met Roman’s gaze and quickly scooped up his stuff and speed walked away from Roman, leaving Roman there on the floor unsure of what had just happened.

Once Roman collected him and his belongings he began walking much slower to the cafeteria checking his phone on the way. Once he finished checking his instagram notifications he decided to clear up some memory in his phone by deleting a few of the many pictures he had taken that day, trying to find his soulmate.

When he opened the app he saw a photo of the guy and him he had chase into, he must have accidentally clicked the photo button while he was falling, the angle wasn’t very flattering but he could clearly make out the features of the guy, that’s when something clicked together in Roman’s head, that guy was on costume’s crew for Beauty and the Beast.

His name was Virgil and Roman had talked to him before when they were on a five and he needed his sizes for his Lumiere costume, but could it be?

Before Roman could properly understand what he was doing he reached for the frame stuffed down into his backpack and compared the image in it to the one on his phone, they were an exact match. Which could only mean one thing, Roman had found his soulmate.

— Meanwhile with Remus —

Remus couldn’t focus on what was happening around him, the shadeness from under the bleachers, the taste of hot and spicy chips in his mouth or the sound of Janus ranting about how a kid in his Science class Logan was such a teacher’s pet and always reminded the teacher about their homework.

Normally Remus would laugh and crack a few jokes but now he was just silently pondering to himself, he was sitting right next to his soulmate right now and Janus didn’t realize it. He hated to admit it but he wanted Janus, he wanted to kiss his vitiligo coated face and protect his smile and laugh forever. But then what if Janus ran away and got freaked out, I mean Janus knew he could be a bit much but that never stopped Janus from being his very best friend so why would that stop him from being his soulmate. Things would never be the same if he told Janus.

“Earth to Remus, are you even listening to me?” Janus shouted in his ear bringing Remus out of his head and back into the real world.

“Yeah I’m listening.” Remus flashed his toothy grin but Janus looked unconvinced.

“Yup, something’s wrong.” Janus narrowed his eyes at Remus, as if trying to see through him to figure out what was the matter.

“With you?” Remus tried to redirect the conversation away from himself.

“No, you.” Janus moved closer to Remus and Remus felt like he would have combusted right then and there on the spot.

“You've been really quiet, which is highly unusual for you.” Janus stated in a tone of voice that reminded Remus of a lawyer. “Does this have anything to do with you finding out your soulmate last night?”

Maybe Janus was some undercover law school student because he always seemed to put two and two together and know what was going on. Remus knew he had to do it, he just couldn’t hold it inside anymore plus Janus’s birthday would be in a few months so he’d find out on his own sooner or later so Remus just had to tell him.

“Janus.” Remus started “I need to tell you something important.”

“Did you finally commit a felony and need me to represent you in court?” Janus mockingly asked but Remus didn’t laugh, that is what told Janus that this was serious and he sat still waiting for Remus to continue talking.

“So… I did find out my soulmate and I do think I like them, romantically.” Remus hated the way the sophisticated words sounded coming from him but he didn’t know how else to put it without sounding like a creepy stalker.

“Well then who is it Re?” Janus gently asked but something in his head was telling him he knew who it was but he couldn’t believe that voice, it was best not to get his hopes up too high, that’s what he had been telling himself for weeks before Remus’s birthday.

Remus groaned into his hands “It’s so weird to say.” Remus whined.

“Say it.” Janus urged “I double dog dare you to say it.” Janus smirked knowing Remus never said no to a dare.

“Ok, fine, it’s you ok, I saw the selfie we took yesterday at the mural in the picture frame!” The words came out of Remus’s mouth in a tizzy and Remus couldn’t get anything else out of his mouth so he just sat there looking down at the ground listening to the silence of Janus.

Janus almost felt his eyes bulge out his socket out of every emotion that ran through his head at once, first came shock, then bewilderment, then finally rejoice. He was Remus’s soulmate so that meant Remus was his soulmate.

“I’m sorry.” Janus said in such a melancholy voice that it almost sounded depressed. And Remus almost had to mentally kick himself to get himself to respond.

“What?” Remus looked up to see Janus’s eyes down on the ground now.

“I’m sorry that you got stuck with me as your soulmate.” Janus sunk in his seat as he spoke.

“No, don’t you pretend to not know how incredibly amazing and sexy you are.” Remus’s hand went up to Janus’s chin and pulled his face up to look at his.

“Stop Remus.” Janus giggled and flustered at Remus’s comment; this made Remus feel more confident so he decided it was time to ask him.

“Janus, would you like to be my Boyfriend?”

Janus took a pause, a pause that made Remus grow tense again, what if he said no?

“What’s the dowry?” Janus purred and Remus could help the chuckle he let out.

“Whatever I have in my pockets and…the last photo on my camera reel?”

“I accept.” Janus replied putting both of his hands on Remus’s neck drawing them closer together.

It was meant to be, they were meant to be, they both knew it for sure as their lips met in a passionate first kiss. Remus’s hands cupping Janus’s face and Janus’s hands on Remus’s shoulders.

Well Remus was right, things wouldn’t ever be the same after that.

— And now we’re back with Roman —

It was Roman’s last class of the day, theater. Which should have made Roman happy but he was too busy wallowing in self pity to be happy about his favorite class. He had tried to talk to Virgil twice that day but every time he messed up and ended up running away.

The first time during lunch he almost walked up to Virgil but then the person Virgil had been sitting with spotted him and Roman panicked.

Then the second time after lunch on his way to his fourth period he spotted Virgil in the hall and tried to introduce himself but ended up saying “Hi, I’m Roman numeral.” Where did that even come from?

After that attempt Roman became even more stressed out, fearing he had already made his own soulmate hate him. To make the situation even worse he had his Theater period with Virgil so he was just sitting in his seat in the auditorium trying not to look at Virgil.

Perfect, just perfect.

Since it was the first class after they closed their show the teacher had a small party planned where they pretty much got to eat snacks and talk with each other all period. Roman tried to sit at his own desk and focus on one of his latest passion projects but he just found himself fantasizing about Virgil. How the universe had planned for them to be together but was making it so difficult for Roman to talk to him without sounding like a complete brain dead moron.

Roman was so busy mentally scolding himself that he almost missed the tap on his shoulder. When he looked up from his paper he saw Virgil standing next to him.

“Hey…” Virgil rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, he took a deep breath then asked Roman “Do you think we can talk for a minute?”

Roman’s mouth felt dry as sand in the desert but when he nodded his head in response he felt like something was gnawing at his stomach.

“Ok.” Virgil began to walk away from the isle where Rpman was sitting then motioned for Roman to follow him. Roman got up not bothering to grab his things and followed Virgil to a secluded part of the Auditorium where no one else was.

Roman already started scripting out an apology in his head, for being annoying or whatever Virgil was going to be mad at him for. Which really was a shame because Roman honestly wished Virgil felt the same and that they would live happily ever after but maybe fate was wrong.

Virgil stood against the wall while Roman stood about two feet in front of him. Roman swallowed trying to regain some of the moisture in his mouth then he tried to speak.

“I-I’m…I’m sorry about-.” Roman tried to gather his thoughts into a sentence but so much wanted to come out all at once and none of it sounded right.

“Listen, Roman…I know I’m your soulmate.” Virgil’s eyes avoided Roman’s and the blush was obvious even behind what looked to be a layer of white foundation.

Roman’s mind went blank for a few milliseconds, trying to remember if he was daydreaming or if this was actually happening and after he concluded this was really happening he realized Virgil knew that they were each other's soulmates.

“My birthday was a few months ago…” Virgil explained. “I’ve honestly kind of always had a crush on you but I’ve always been too nervous to actually talk to you. But during the closing show on Sunday I heard some of the other actor’s talking and one said it was going to be your birthday on wednesday, so I guess I figured you found out, right?”

“Yes! I-I did.” Roman was now practically vibrating with anticipation, he had no clue what Virgil was going to say next, was he going to ask Roman out? Was he hearing all of this right or was he just crazy? No, Roman was definitely hearing things right. But that meant his soulmate was in love with him, so what did that mean for them now?

“So…would you be interested in meeting up with me tomorrow after school, for coffee, as in a date?” Virgil's smile made an appearance on his face and Roman smiled back.

“I’d be delighted too.” Roman beamed at Virgil and Virgil beamed back.

The both just stood there for a moment lost in the moment with each other, looking into the others eyes. Roman was lost in Virgil’s brown eyes, they were an enchanting display of dark brown with flecks of gold shining in them. But then the school bell jolted them out of the moment and they both jumped out of surprise.

“I’ll see you tomorrow after school.” Virgil excused himself walking past Roman but as he walked past Roman felt the press of lips on his cheek for but a second then it disappeared along with Virgil from his line of sight.

Roman touched the place on his cheek where Virgil kissed and felt himself swoon in bliss. He really just got a date with his soulmate and a kiss.

Ok, so maybe today wasn’t so bad.

— After school —

Both brothers arrived home in great moods, for once not arguing on the car ride home and when their mother asked how their day was they both replied in unison “Perfect.”

Author’s note: So this was my first attempt at a soulmate au fanfiction, I think I did pretty well, but please let me know what you think and maybe I’ll do another soulmate Sander sides fanfiction at some point again soon. Thank you for reading.

[snowdice]

New Couch; Old Habits (Part of the Envisage Series)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Roman & Logan, Virgil & Logan, Virgil & Patton, Patton/Logan (background)

Characters: Roman, Logan, Virgil, Patton

Summary: Virgil's parents come to visit him in his new apartment.

Notes: Leg Injury, very brief allusions to torture, Superhero AU

This takes place after Best Laid Plans and is part of the Labeled Universe.

Roman couldn’t help but fidget on the landing between the second and third floor of his new apartment building. “Are you sure you don’t want…”

 “Attempt to carry me one more time Mr. Silvia, and I will throw you out of a window,” Mr. Dr. Sanders said. His tone was without heat, but Roman was certain he was serious. His body may not have fully recovered from being captured, but his powers certainly had. Roman was not interested in having a thrown down with Bluebird even on a day where Bluebird had his leg in a cast and was wobbling on crutches. Roman would probably still lose.

He had to restrain himself from reaching for the man as he teetered dangerously on his crutches while tackling the next step.

Mr. Dr. Sanders was not used to going up stairs with his crutches. Sure, he’d been taught how to do so in physical therapy and his and Dr. Patton’s house had a staircase, but Roman doubted he every actually walked up them. Today, however, they were in a semi-public place, so the man did not want to glide up the stairs like Dracula. He also wasn’t confident in using his powers in a non-obvious way to steady himself yet, so normal plebeian stair climbing with crutches was the only option. Or at least, it was the only option Mr. Dr. Sanders’ pride would let him take.

Roman swore he had heart palpitations every time Mr. Dr. Sander’s good leg left solid ground so he could swing forward supported only by the crutches.

Roman heard footsteps coming up the stairs behind him and winced, worried he was about to awkwardly meet one of his new neighbors, but when he glanced back, it was just Dr. Patton. Dr. Patton had gone to park the car and grab something for them all to eat for dinner. It had taken him a bit as the apartment was downtown with little parking, and he’d likely had to park the car on the university campus. Two bulging plastic bags swung on his arms as he came to a stop a few steps below them.

He seemed surprised to see them still on the stairs, but then shook his head with an eyeroll. “Sweetie,” he said. “I didn’t ask Roman to meet us downstairs so you could make him watch you climb two flights of stairs yourself.”

Mr. Dr. Sanders pursed his lips. He did not turn to look at Dr. Patton as he was too focused on the next step he needed to take. “I am perfectly capable of going up stairs on my own.”

As though to demonstrate, he swung for the next step, perhaps too quickly. He made it, but it was a close thing. Dr. Patton made a sound between a tsk and a scoff but didn’t argue seeing as he was only three stairs away from the top. He and Roman lingered on the stairs below Mr. Dr. Sanders as he finished proving himself.

“Alright,” Mr. Dr. Sanders said once firmly on the third floor. “Which is your apartment?”

“This way,” Roman said, walking around the man towards his apartment with his keys in hand. Virgil always insisted that Roman lock the door behind him even if one of them was still in the apartment or he only planned to be out for a moment. (He always said stepping out for a moment can end up lasting longer than expected and Roman hated that Virgil’s dad had just proven him correct.)

It took Roman a few tries to get the key to work as the lock stuck a bit, and he wasn’t used to opening it. By the time he managed to get the door open, Mr. and Dr. Sanders were beside him.

“What kind of surprise takes you half an hour to get it from downstairs?” Virgil asked as Roman swung open the door.

“A stubborn one,” Roman replied dryly, walking into their apartment.

Virgil looked up from his place on one of their two armchairs with a confused pinch to his brow, but then he saw his parents in the doorway. He blinked in surprise. “What are you doing here?” he asked, and Roman knew it was not directed at Dr. Patton considering Dr. Patton had been here 5 days in the past week.

“While I fully acknowledge I was incapable of helping you move in last week, I still wished to see your new apartment,” Mr. Dr. Sanders replied. “We brought dinner, and Roman suggested we could watch a movie this evening.”

“He probably just wants to make sure we didn’t put our canned vegetables in the wrong cabinet,” Roman stage whispered with an eyeroll.

“I trust Virgil to know the correct way to organize,” Mr. Dr. Sanders replied, “so, if they do happen to be in the wrong places, I will know who is to blame.”

The small bit of banter gave Virgil time to collect himself from the surprise. “Uh,” he said, getting to his feet. “Come in, please. You should, er, sit, especially you.”

Mr. Dr. Sanders didn’t argue (he had to be exhausted at this point). He allowed Virgil to lead him by the arm to their couch.

Dr. Patton, meanwhile, did not sit. He set the bags of food down on the coffee table and made a beeline to the kitchen to grab plates and silverware.

“What’s this?” Virgil asked, glancing at the bags after plopping down on the couch next to Mr. Dr. Sanders.

“It’s from that pasta place we saw just opened down the street while moving you two in. I thought we could try it out and see if it’s your new favorite,” Dr. Patton answered from the kitchen.

“Do they have chicken parmesan?” Virgil asked. He’d already leaned forward to open one of the bags.

“Yes,” Dr. Patton said, amused as he re-entered the living room. “They do have chicken parmesan. It’s in the container at the bottom of that bag.”

“I’ll get drinks,” Roman offered. “We have a 2-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper and the juice Dr. Patton brought. I’ll bring those and some cups.”

“Thank you, Roman,” Dr. Patton said with a smile.

Virgil was busy dishing out a plate of ravioli and breadsticks for Mr. Dr. Sanders when Roman returned. Roman could tell by Mr. Dr. Sanders’ face that he wasn’t enthused about not being trusted to make his own plate, but he was indulging Virgil by allowing this anyway.

Dr. Patton had gotten double the amount of food needed for the 4 of them even considering Roman’s need for extra calories and Virgil’s willingness to gorge himself on pasta. So, there were a lot of leftovers to be packed away into Roman’s refrigerator once they were finished. Roman and Dr. Patton handled clean-up while Virgil and Mr. Dr. Sanders argued good naturedly over the movie choice.

“Thanks for inviting us,” Dr. Patton said in a low voice that was almost drowned out by the water he was running to rinse the plates. “I think it’s doing them both some good. More than you two coming over to see us even.”

“Yeah,” Roman agreed. That’s all they spoke about it, turning to lighter subjects like Roman’s classes and Dr. Patton’s latest read.

Virgil and Mr. Dr. Sanders managed to settle on the movie Back to the Future eventually. Virgil had stacked pillows on the coffee table so Mr. Dr. Sanders could more comfortably sit with his leg elevated.

Only 10 minutes into the movie, Virgil had already fallen asleep against Mr. Dr. Sander’s shoulder. It was only 7:30pm (and Virgil usually stayed up past midnight), but it wasn’t that much of a surprise. Roman had found that man sleeping in much weirder places at much weirder times and they’d only lived together for a week.

What was surprising was when Roman glanced over near the end of the movie and found that Mr. Dr. Sanders had fallen asleep as well.

Roman and Dr. Patton discussed it in the kitchen about an hour after the movie had ended, and eventually decided to let them sleep. Dr. Patton had to go home and let Missy out but told Roman to call him if at any point Mr. Dr. Sanders woke up and needed to come home.

Before he left, he grabbed the purple blanket Virgil always favored and threw it over both of them.

Virgil and his father slept through the night like that until Dr. Patton arrived back at the apartment with breakfast and coffee the next morning.

Want to read more? Click below!

Labeled Master Post.

My Masterpost.

[blazethecheeto]

ATLAS PARADOX RAMBLING

dude this book. i need to talk. about it. im going insane.

everyone who hasn't read it, PLEASE DO!!! it's a dark academia book about a bunch of gay silly magic people that join a society and try to kill each other. there's time travel, a big ass polycule, aesthetic scenes, the prettiest writing style in the world, science, philosophy, and fucked family. (opposite of found family).

(extremely chaotic unorganized long rant below, with spoilers. click at your own risk)

FIRST OF ALL WHY WAS THIS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THE FIRST ONE?!!?!?

i had to power through the first one, it felt long, and unnecessary and like trekking through a JUNGLE with the thickest and most intricate ecosystem that i had to peel back and unravel for hours and hours. only to like move the plot by an inch.

BUT THIS. olivie blake found her footing because this was so good. i am aware the reviews hate on this book and some people don't like it, but personally i adore it and it's really well written.

CHARACTERS

bro they all had such wonderful voices, like they were distinct and unique from each other but not drastically, noticeably different I NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS. six of crows and the atlas six do multi povs so well <3 its like this book was made for me, each character was perfect and incredible and gay and silly and-

reina. love of my life. i look forward to all her povs because the plants are so silly and she's the best character. i said it. she's canon asexual now too YEES. i needed more of her because she was barely in the first one, and they DELIVERED. the juicy plot with her 'god complex' (ily callum) and her feelings getting hurt and learning she actually is lonely and wants friends? she's so wanda maximoff. next book better have her opening up and learning to love people or i riot (and also her killing people and being the badass she is)

parisa always my fave too, i do wish her character wasn't always talking about sex or romance, there were some great moments in this book where she showed off her telepathy powers (the prince in the tower!!) it was awesome. i'm glad they acknowledged that side of her with reina, (oh my god i ship them so much wait till i rant about them-) but dude i still HATE DALTON. SO MUCH. OH MY GOD. every time it's her pov i dread seeing dalton, i wish she could give that up. generic white men should die.

CALLUM. whatever turned him from complex, daunting, and a psychopath last book to janus from sanders sides this book- beautiful choice. he's literally the one sassy wine-sipping gay aunt that feels nothing and everything at once, also extremely mentally ill and depressed. he's SO FUNNY. his povs are fucking hilarious to read, and he quickly became one of my faves bc of how complex he is. i'm not smart enough to decipher and psychoanalyze him but god i LOVE CHARACTERS LIKE THIS.

i don't know what happened but nico is literally one of my faves now too, he's so silly and sweet and kind and i loved his relationships with everyone this book. like him trying to murder tristan in multiple different ways oml. he's my bbg. tristan was hit or miss for me, i did find him interesting but he's not my favourite. doesn't mean i hate him, he's so very british, i feel it radiating off the page. libby my queen my icon, her dream povs were so trippy i loved it- so so realistic to a real dream, that was the most surprising and unique part. also my bisexual queen seducing belen??

i did not like ezra and atlas was a little iffy here and there but tbh the cast was so well rounded and interesting and unique but paralleled each other so well?? THE RELATIONSHIPS. I DONT THINK ANY BOOK HAS THIS INTRICATE WEB-LIKE RELATIONSHIPS WITH EACH OTHER. they're one big polycule.

RELATIONSHIPS

nico and libby <3 i love them so much as siblings/queerplatonic partners. i don't ship them romantically, because i LOVE how they subverted the eye-rolling predictable ' YA academic rivals enemies to lovers' trope. when i started TAS, i immediately thought they were gonna get together and assumed the worst. but no, they still had the banter and importance in their relationship but without the romance? instead both of them were gay af. it's beautiful. i love subverting tropes so much. they're each other's 'other half' and they're hilarious together.

NICO AND TRISTAN. they were such a highlight this book, it was unexpected but so funny. nico trying to murder tristan and their little talks because 'they're not friends...just coworkers' yeah right, the best friendships start with creatively murdering each other. tristan being droll and chill af, and then nico bouncing off the walls my adhd king.

reina and nico broke me?? like that one chapter where they sparred and caught up with each other and reina was guarding her hurt feelings. DUDE THAT KILLED ME. made me stare at the ceiling for a good minute. their friendship is everything to me, they contrast each other so well. she deserves to be treated better- when they had that projection chapter and she saw that nico downplayed her skills...like she was good, but not good enough for him to care about her. AGGHGH.

REINA AND PARISA. NOW THIS. THIS HOOKED ME INTO THE BOOK. i ship them so bad guys. they parallel each other and are both hot and enemies to lovers and wlw slow burn and- look. reina is asexual, therefore the only person to truly see and understand parisa for who she is, and not be influenced by her body. like that one projection. she can help parisa understand HERSELF and who she is past her sexual desirability. how to love someone again. romantically. then, on the flip side, parisa can help reina see and understand OTHERS. reina only sees people as one trait, cut and dry- without any of the complex feelings. parisa is a telepath, she knows how to read others. THEY CAN BOTH HELP EACH OTHER AND LOVE EACH OTHER IN WAYS THEY NEVER COULD HAVE OMFDADJFLSKJADFL- also reina pinned her against a wall and they want to kill each other and every time they interact i scream into my pillow-

-

'You can't love anyone right?"

"I've met very few people worth loving."

-

*throws myself off a building*

now we just gotta play the familiar game "IS IT DELUSION OR IS IT JUST SLOW BURN" and find out whether their insane chemistry pays off in book 3.

the nico parisa scene was actually sweet ngl, even though i don't ship them. the whole callum and tristan thing was so bitter exes situationship coded and i ate every second up. especially that last conversation. AND OFC. GIDEON AND NICO?!!! AAAAA THEY WERE SO CUTE THEY'RE ENDGAME I SCREAMED WHEN THEY KISSED DUDE THEYRE SO-

PLOT

now for the actual plot. this book has so many interesting subjects and philosophies and debates i'm not smart enough for this. but past all the aesthetic glamour, it's science, time travel, dreams, multiverses, fate, reality, and the complexities of the human mind. and my god it's fascinating as fuck.

do i have any idea what they do in this society?? NO. am i entertained? YES. especially that whole explosion paradox to bring libby back to the future. the whole powering the connections via aurora borealis? the whole debate about being gods? i love it. i love it.

alright im so sorry for that rant, i gotta go now but DUDE I LOVE THIS BOOK NO MATTER HOW WEIRD IT WAS

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Rated T

CW: Swearing, Roman gets punched

Like with all my little one shots I'm posting this above/below the cut as well, but the formatting from AO3 will not transfer so it is a better experience for this fic if you click the link.

-

"Shut up!" "Make me!"

Virgil socked him in the jaw.

"What the gosh peck?! Why would you hit me?!" "You told me to shut you up!" "Yeah, well, I thought we would like, make out or something!" "W-why would we make out?!" Now he was thinking about it. Oh God, kissing Roman... "Oh.. Um you know, like just if you wanted to... or something..." And boy did he want to- "Why would I want to?! You're being dense as fuck! Get it together Princey!" "Well it's not my fault, you were kind of sending me signals and-" "God, just shut up!" "... Make me?"

Roman was fairly certain the arm that came up was going to punch him again, but he was pleasantly surprised when it simply pinned him to the wall. Wait, did that mean- Oh, ok, they were kissing... They were kissing!

"Mmph!" Virgil immediately flinched back. "What? Was that not ok? You just said-" "No!" Virgil flinched again. "I mean yes! I mean that it was ok! I just had realized what was happening and it startled me!" "... It took you that long?" "Well I didn't really expect it to happen. You did just punch me a second ago." "Oh, shit, right. Are you ok?" "Yeah, I'm ok. I can tell you were holding back, I've caught your Fight on enough occasions to know." "You'd think you would stop popping up around corners." "Maybe. I just get so excited when I hear you coming." Shit, that was cute, say something nice! "You're just like a dog." Crap. “I can’t believe I let you kiss me with that mouth.” “Aw, c’mon. My mouth is your favorite thing about me.” He could still probably save the situation. Roman let out an amused huff with a smile. “Can’t argue there.”

Ah! Virgil could feel his brain short circuiting. He was way too gay for this.

“Well, um, we could like, hang out or something if you wanted I dunno and it could be a date or whatever…”

Roman had two options here. He could tease Virgil’s shyness, or he could meet his nerves with genuine sentiment. Considering he wanted Virgil to continue speaking to him in the foreseeable future, he opted for the latter.

“I would like that very much. I’ll see you at 8?” “Um, yeah, sure that’s good, fine, cool, whatever.” Roman chuckled. “I look forward to it.”

Roman had nearly made his way all the way down the hallway they’d been standing in before he heard Virgil call out to him.

“Wait, Princey! We never settled the argument!” “You were right! I was just worried if I agreed with you we wouldn’t have anything to talk about! And then I got a little too into it!” He called back. “You’re such a dork!” “Your dork!” “Shut up!” “Make me?!”

[lefaystrent]

Friendly Neighborhood Criminals Part 5

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic Patton/Dark Sides

Summary: Patton has never celebrated Halloween before. His new friends find this unacceptable. Que spooky shenanigans.

Ao3 Link: click here

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

A/N: DnDeceit (Hazgarn) asked for Halloween shenanigans. I am here to deliver.

Also, since it will probably never come up in the story specifically, Patton is 20, Virgil 25, Remus 31, and Janus 36.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Turn to the left. Little more. Okay, hold on."

Brush bristles graze across Patton's cheekbone up into his temple. It's a tickle he's gotten used to over the past thirty minutes or so, but reflexively he giggles now and then. It's like eyelashes kissing his skin in little butterfly flutters! So light and calming.

Virgil sits with him on Patton's bed, both of them facing each other. He works with his tongue caught between his teeth in concentration. Colorful palettes of blushes and eyeshadow dominate the space around them, courtesy of Virgil's personal collection. Some of it dusted across Patton's sheets, despite Virgil's best efforts, but Patton assured him that it was part of the fun! There's no way Patton can be upset with Virgil anyway. Not after he's graciously volunteered to do Patton's Halloween makeup!

Virgil's own under eye shadow has been replaced this evening. The eyes are still smokey, yet softer in a blend of purple and silver highlights. Tiny stars and moons are painstakingly painted around his brows and the corners of his eyes, accentuated by glued on rhinestones. Together with his matte, plumb lipstick, Virgil's face looks ethereally beautiful.

He still hasn't told Patton what his costume is. Patton keeps guessing and Virgil gives a secretive smile without letting on either way.

"Is it an anime magical girl?"

"Do I look like I could pull off being a magical girl?"

"I think you could pull off anything, Virge. You're very pretty."

"Aww, it's cute that you think compliments will work on me."

And Patton giggles again just because he's happy. Lately, he and Virgil have been texting and hanging out a lot. He's closer to Patton age-wise, so it's easier to connect on that front. More than that, Virgil possesses a quiet passion about him that is borne from more than a mere desire to produce art. It extends to his friends' well-being with an uncanny attention for detail. Patton has seen it in the way that he worries for Remus and Janus and the gruff ways he checks in on them to make sure they're taking care of themselves.

It's a more unrefined version of the way Janus goes about taking care of people, but no less endearing. Patton wonders if Virgil is conscious of emulating him, if that's where he's learned it. Janus is downright parental, always feeding them and reminding them to rest. Watching them with eyes that know more than what his boys tell him and able to glean the sources of their struggles without them ever having to voice them. It's different than Patton's own parents...

Remus, on the other hand, is akin to a bold big brother in his protective instincts. Constantly teasing, unerring in his acts of affection. Patton has learned in large part to Remus's efforts that touches are not a warning to impending punishment, or that they have to hurt. Remus gives swaddling hugs and cuddles that make you feel safe, and Patton has steadily become addicted to them.

Virgil though, he reminds Patton of his friend Valerie, how they were back in high school. In those days, Patton could forget for a while about home and the fear that waited for him there at the end of each day. When they were together, they could talk about anything they wanted, whether it be dreams or pep rallies or theater club or places they wanted to go. It brought peace of mind and Patton is forever grateful to her.

And now, Patton feels the same about Virgil. He hasn't described his feelings to him yet, not knowing if Virgil feels the same. Also, he doesn't know if he's allowed to have two best-friends. Valerie is still close in his heart, and they text or call most days. But now he's kind of doing the same thing with Virgil, and it feels so easy, and Virgil is so different than Valerie or Patton in the most wonderful way! What is he to do? This is untreked territory!

If a person can have two best friends, Patton would choose Virgil.

"I think that's it. Look forward for me," Virgil commands, sitting down the brush. Patton follows his instruction and Virgil leans from side to side to check the symmetry.

"I'm sure it looks wonderful," Patton insists. "You're really talented."

"Still not telling you."

A laugh tumbles out, care-free. "I wasn't trying that time! Promise! I really mean it, Virge."

"Well, I'm glad that you think that then."

Patton shakes his head. He has found that Virgil struggles when accepting compliments. It's not so...dissimilar from his own predicament. Patton hopes that helping Virgil may help himself one day. Besides, Virgil deserves all the compliments!

"Wanna take a look?" Virgil holds out a handheld mirror. Patton takes it and lets out a gust of breath at viewing the final product. "Wow, Virge. This is... This is just, wow."

Patton barely recognizes himself. The sockets of his eyes are caverns that stretch out into hatching lines, like shadowy pieces of hay. Stitch-work decorates his lips and travels farther than the corners of his mouth. And his cheeks appear concave with the shade of blush, very gaunt.

He looks like a spooky scarecrow!

"You like it?" Virgil asks hesitantly.

Patton sits down the mirror. "Like it? I love it! I could crow all day about it!"

Virgil groans, "What have I done?"

Patton can't wait to put on the rest of his scarecrow costume.

***

Virgil drives them back to the lair to meet up with Remus and so that he can change into his own costume. Patton jaunts into the apartment with a pep to his step, enjoying hearing his costume swish with the sound of hay.

Remus sits/lays on the couch upside down. He's wearing a full-body black and red spandex costume like a superhero but without a mask. There's no make up on his face, but the blood rushes to his face something fierce.

"Why are you guys walking on the ceiling?" Remus asks.

Virgil snorts and knocks him gently in the shoulder with a foot. "Why are you still sulking?"

"I'm not sulking. If anyone sulks, it's you, Incredible Sulk. Mother Sulker. King of the Sulks."

"Yeah, you're still sulking."

"You're sulking?" Patton asks. He kneels down on Remus's other side in concern.

Remus blows a raspberry at Virgil, but answers Patton. "No, I just said I'm not sulking. This is me, not sulking."

"I feel like we've said that word so much that it's not a word anymore," Virgil grimaces. At Patton's questioning look, Virgil explains, "Remus is mad because me and Janus vetoed his costume choice."

"Why? What's wrong with it? It looks fine on him."

"Not this one. He wanted to dress up as Woody from 'Toy Story'."

"Oh, what's wrong with that? That seems pretty wholesome."

"Two words: assless chaps."

"I... I... I'm afraid to ask what those are."

"Please don't. Please just stay pure."

Remus harrumphs to get the attention back on him. "I wanted to get to say 'There's a snake in my butt!' I had a snake prepared and everything!"

"Please, for the love of God, don't explain further than that. I'm gonna go get dressed now, so can you keep Patton company– without corrupting his mind?"

Remus glances over Patton in consideration. "But he looks so corruptible."

"Your funeral if Janus finds out," Virgil says and disappears down the hallway.

Patton remains sitting with Remus who seems unaware that his head is turning into a tomato. He's starting to resemble his costume.

Spurred on by his good mood, Patton initiates physical contact in hopes of comforting him. It's something he's been shy about and only managed with Remus so far, but he's getting better! He pats at Remus's arm.

"If it makes you feel any better, I like this costume. You look super cool."

"Yeah, I do," Remus agrees begrudgingly. "I still wanted to show off my ass, so Deadpool seemed like a good runner up. He's like, my spirit animal, you know? We're ass brothers."

Patton giggles at the zany train of thought. He laughs harder when Remus asks if he'd like a demonstration of how his butt looks in his costume. Remus springs up and strikes a hip-cocking pose, smacking his booty to make it jiggle.

"I know what you're thinking," Remus says, faux-serious. "But I assure you, this dump truck is all natural."

Patton hums thoughtfully, "Yeah, my butt's just filled with hay."

Patton isn't exactly sure why Remus lays on the ground crying with laughter for the next several minutes, but he's incredibly proud all the same.

Virgil walks out in a flowy witch costume complete with crooked pointy hat and buckled boots. When he finds Remus still cackling, he sighs and sweeps at him with his broom until the man can pull himself together.

***

The next step is to pick up Janus.

Patton sits jittery in the backseat of the car. He sings softly along to the radio to the few songs that sound familiar. Remus attempts several times to commandeer the radio only for Virgil to slap his hands every time.

"Driver picks music."

"Then let me drive!"

"Never in a thousand years."

And on they banter over the music. Virgil has always been the driver, and Patton has learned from context that Remus is not allowed to drive anything other than his motorcycle. Even then, the others refuse to ride on the motorcycle with him. Patton has considered riding again with Remus, not remembering much from that one night a couple of months ago when Remus picked him up. Remus has offered too, several times in fact, but Janus and Virgil seem to think it's a death sentence.

They're in the same maroon car as always. Patton thinks that it's Janus's car but Virgil is his designated driver. In the context of them being criminals, Patton has daydreamed Virgil in high-speed chases. But whenever Patton's in the car, Virgil never goes over the speed limit and stops at every red light.

Coming out of his musings, Patton glances out the window to see that they're cruising through a lovely suburban neighborhood. The car slows and pulls up to a one-story house, not overly large. The white garage and front door stand out against the cobalt blue siding. White trim and a white banister around the front porch. Black shingles interrupted by a chimney. A green line of bushes hedge around the side.

It's more unassuming than Patton would have imagined for someone like Janus.

A tall lady in a floor-length white dress and wide brimmed black hat exits the front door and clicks down the driveway in dangerously high pearly heels. Patton blinks and tightens his grip on his seat belt as the unknown woman opens the back door to slide into the car.

Remus wolf whistles. "How much would I have to pay for you to step on me?"

"Honey, I'm priceless," the lady says in Janus's voice.

Patton is suddenly extremely aware that this is not a lady but Janus in costume. His face burns scarlet, and he holds his cheeks in embarrassment.

Janus notices immediately and turns to him. "Everything alright, dear? Your costume is very cute, by the way. Very spooky."

"I didn't realize that was you!" Patton admits. He admires the delicate silk dress. It's long sleeved and Janus's usual yellow gloves are replaced with black fitted lace ones. There's a large black rose sewn into the collar off to one side. And Janus's makeup is pristine in pale foundation, false eyelashes, and fire truck red lipstick.

Janus smiles demurely. "I suppose that's the point of costumes."

"You look really good. I didn't think–" Patton cuts himself off before he says something terribly offensive. Janus cocks a fine eyebrow and sees through him anyway.

"You didn't think I would wear a dress?"

"I... yes? Maybe? I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven. I do tend to wear suits most of the time. I save drag for special occasions."

"There's never a wrong time to dress in drag," Virgil pipes up.

"What's drag?" Patton asks.

There's a moment where they all stare at him, making Patton fear that he said something stupid. But then Remus says, "Okay, we are so watching 'Ru Paul's Drag Race' when we get back home."

Janus gives the most gleeful grin that Patton has ever seen him wear. "Patton, darling, we are going to open up your whole world."

***

Outside the city limits, they reach a sprawling field of pumpkins. Dozens of parents and children and couples and groups of teens in costumes swarm around the pumpkin patch. A line of kiddos mill about at a face-painting booth. Another area offers apple bopping and horseshoe tosses. Further on, tables are set up with various fall themed baked goods for sale.

It's like an October fairytale, or a Halloween Hallmark movie.

"There's so many!" Patton exclaims, gazing out at the ocean of orange vegetables. His fingers press against the car window, and he can hardly drink in one sight before turning to the next.

When the car is put in park, Patton wastes no time in launching out of the car. The evening is crisp and smoke wafts in the wind. There must be a fire pit somewhere nearby. Patton jumps up and down, throwing his arms out wide.

Remus comes over to jump beside him, matching his energy. "Ready to smash some pumpkins, Pattycake?"

"Let's smash all the pumpkins!" Patton squeals, delirious in his excitement.

"But the farmers worked so hard for their bounty," Janus chides. "Maybe limit it to a handful?"

"An-ar-chy! An-ar-chy!" Virgil starts cheering, and well, Janus can't stop the rampant rebellion after that.

Janus watches the three of them run off together, shaking his head with a put-upon sigh. He's not going to spoil their spirits, but he sure as hell is not chasing after them in six-inch pumps through the grass.

A tugging at Janus's skirt pulls his attention downwards. Beside his legs, a little girl in a bumblebee costume gazes up at him imploringly.

"Do you know where the bathroom is?"

Someone save him.

Patton, Virgil, and Remus do not in fact destroy pumpkins. They purchase a few and carry them over to the carving station that's set up. Patton scrutinizes the carving knife, and Virgil takes the blade before he can reach for it and hacks his open for him.

"It's all stringy!" Patton gasps after the top is removed. He reaches in and grabs a handful of pumpkin mixed with pale seeds.

"Guts! Glorious guts everywhere!" Remus whoops as he tosses his pumpkin bits into the air to land back on him in a mess.

"Ay, watch it," Virgil snaps and leans out of the splash zone. Patton, feeling mischievous, picks up a clump of pumpkin and drapes it over Virgil's shoulder. Virgil notices immediately of course and gives him an unimpressed look. "Really, Pat?"

Patton giggles, "I'm just having a gourd time."

The pumpkins are emptied and the real carving can begin. Patton's is a mishappen silly face while Virgil forgoes a face at all. Instead, he works to shape a couple of bats flying over a haunted house. Remus gets halfway through his before Virgil spies what he's making and unceremoniously smashes his pumpkin.

"This is a family friendly event," Virgil warns him.

"Prude."

"I'm not letting you get us kicked out. Think of the child."

"What?" Patton pops his head up. "Where's Janus by the way?"

They eventually spot Janus whiling the time away sitting on a rectangular hay bale. There's a group of kids piled around him in a semi-circle on the ground, listening to him tell scary stories. People seem to be under the impression that he works for the event.

Remus goes to get another pumpkin. Not to carve but to play with the guts again. Patton finishes his carving and does another silly face on Remus's second pumpkin. Virgil finishes his work of art and Patton fawns over it so much that Virgil offers for him to keep it. He's a little startled by the strength of the hug Patton gives him.

***

Following the pumpkin patch, their next stop is a haunted house. It's not a legitimate haunted house, thankfully. It's an attraction where people pay to go through dark hallways and be jump scared by workers dressed in costumes. By the time they arrive, Patton is struck by one important detail.

"How dark do you think it is in there?" Patton asks.

They're standing in line to wait for their turn to enter. It's a popular place with no small budget. There are large pieces of ghosts and ghouls lit up by spotlights. Fog billows out from machines. A few workers dressed in costume walk out from behind curtains now and then to up the anticipation. Patrons who have already gone through come back around to line up again.

"I've never been to one myself," Janus admits, looking to the others for an answer.

Remus waves his hand sideways in the air, noncommittal, "Eh, mostly dark? It depends. In some areas, there can be flashing light or low light. Like a static-y TV or flickering bulbs."

"If it was pitch black, it'd be a tripping hazard," Virgil points out. "Plus, you wouldn't be able to see the monsters trying to scare you. Not that you'll see all of them. They'll try to scare you with sound too."

"Still feeling up to it?" Janus questions Patton. "There's no shame if you want to back out now."

"Are you just saying that because you want to wimp out?" Remus suggests with a smirk.

Janus scoffs, "I don't feel fear."

"You guys already bought the tickets though," Patton says hesitantly. Then, pulling himself up in his overalls, he huffs out air in determination. "Besides, this will be fun! I want to do this with you guys."

If he could sleep in his apartment with a nightlight, he could do this. And he would have the others with him. He could be brave, with them.

Janus scoops up his hand and a bit of the gusto flees him. In its place is warmth and stability.

"If it gets too much, just take my hand, alright?"

The warmth spreads to Patton's cheeks. He hums out a positive and smiles. He scoots a bit closer, and Janus doesn't release his hand so Patton doesn't either.

Remus shows the door attendant their online tickets from his phone, and they all get slapped with wristbands. There are last minute reminders, assurances that the workers are not allowed to touch them and warnings that some of the lights may cause seizures. Patton doesn't think he'll have a problem with the lights, and it's a huge relief that no strangers will be touching him.

In they go into the dark and Patton braces himself by gripping Janus's hand tighter. They bring up the rear with Remus and Virgil leading the pack.

There are whispered voices and random shouts from afar. A growl sounds behind them but when Patton twists around, there's nothing there.

The first major room they come to is not accessible. It's behind a rusty chain link fence. Patton can peek inside to see in the red glow of an exit sign that it's similar to a hospital scene. A lone wheelchair sits empty in the middle and slowly starts rolling about a foot on its own.

"The ghosts of patients' past," Remus murmurs.

Then a figure slams into the fence, causing them all to step back. It's a bloodied nurse, snarling at them.

"Oh, that's such a good costume!" Patton applauds, literally clapping. "The blood looks so real!"

"Thanksssss," the nurse hisses and crawls back down into her hiding spot.

"Not scared yet, Pat?" Virgil asks skeptically.

Patton grins. "This is fun! Let's keep going!"

Onward they walk through more hallways and find more rooms. There's a little living room area where a figure sits in front of a TV illuminated in static. Patton approaches to get a better look and the person comes alive. A zombie with a knife stuck in its chest jumps up and roars at Patton.

Peals of laughter escape Patton even as Janus flinches back. "Ahh, you got me good!"

And the next room features a torture chamber. A muscled person wearing an executioner's hood stands by a crude operating table with a half-covered body.

"Spin the wheel," a deep, gravelly voice beckons and the man points at a stained standing wheel. It features sections labeled as different body parts.

"Ooh, points for interactive," Virgil praises. "Waddya say, Pat? Wanna spin to win?"

"Can I?!" Patton exudes pure enthusiasm and bounces up beside the wheel.

"Aren't you a little too eager?" Janus cautions.

Remus shushes him. "Do your worst, Pattycake!"

Patton let's go of Janus's hand long enough to throw his weight into a spin. It ticks rapidly as it spins and spins until finally landing on HAND.

The executioner laughs menacingly and saws off a hand at the wrist. Red liquid spurts out and an echoing scream comes from all around them as if there are built in speakers. It's gruesome and Janus wrinkles his nose at it. Remus chuckles when the executioner takes the dismembered hand and waves it at them.

"I gotta hand it to these guys, they really go all out," Patton says as they continue down the hall.

"Hand, ha ha," Virgil mock laughs.

Patton lights up, "Oh! Oh! That was a pun, wasn't it? I made a pun!"

"Don't pretend that wasn't intentional."

"But it wasn't, I swear! Oh my goodness!" Patton giggles beside himself, so caught up in his own unexpected pun that he misses the scary ghost lady sneaking up behind them to screech in their ears.

Janus full on shrieks. He stumbles with Patton and backs them away, cursing while Patton is still giggling. The ghost lady cackles and drifts behind a curtain, gone from sight.

Remus and Virgil are doubled over themselves, and Patton realizes they are laughing at Janus.

"Oh my god, you're such a sissy!" Remus grabs onto Virgil to keep from falling over. "I'm gonna start calling you Hissy Sissy!"

Flustered, Janus deflects, "What are you talking about? That was Patton screaming, not me."

Virgil waves his hand at Patton. "Does he look scared in the slightest?"

Patton is in fact still grinning. "I'm just really happy to be here."

Remus claps a hand on Patton's back. "Who knew our little puffball would have balls of steel?"

Patton doesn't really. He's surrounded by friends in a haunted house full of people who worked really hard on their costumes and scare tactics and set designs. These are employees and devotees of Halloween who have come together in the spirit of the season. How could Patton find any of that scary?

The things he's truly afraid of, the real scary bits...he left that behind him.

***

END NOTES

Here are some fun facts about this chapter that I simply could not find a way to work in naturally but still wanted to share.

1. Patton's first costume idea was to dress up as Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. But when Virgil offered to do his makeup, they kind of spiraled into different ideas until Patton landed on scarecrow. If Patton instead went ahead as Stitch, Janus wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face and would have thoroughly gushed about how cute Patton is and fawn over him. Patton would have been overwhelmed by the affection influx and started bawling his eyes out. Shame that didn't happen. :)

2. Janus is dressed up as Lady Dimetrescu from the horror game Resident Evil 8. It's very similar vibes to Thomas's photo shoot of Janus in a dress.

3. There's a pumpkin carving contest at the pumpkin patch. Virgil wins second place.

4. At the pumpkin patch, Janus improvises all the scary stories he's telling the children. It's mostly cautionary tales against society. He's also lowkey distraught to be at the center of attention for so many impressionable youths and keeps glancing to the others for help the entire time, but the others are like, "Eh, he's fine. Totally in his element."

5. Remus introduced Patton to magical girls anime. He started with Madoka Magica. If you don't know, it's an anime that subverts the genre and a girl gets decapitated in one of the first episodes. Patton is appalled but keeps watching because he desperately wants for there to be a happy ending.

6. At the haunted house attraction, Patton ends up leading Janus by the hand, much to Janus's embarrassment. In the background, Virgil gets jump scared so hard by an employee that he accidentally socks them in the face. In a panic, he and Remus drag their unconscious body into a random chair so it looks like the poor person is part of the set design. They quickly walk away like nothing happened. Janus sees it happen, but distracts Patton so he's none the wiser.

7. They all go to waffle house afterwards for dinner. Remus takes pictures with a bunch of people who think he makes a great Deadpool. Virgil chugs down an entire milkshake on a dare. He regrets it later. Patton makes a smiley face out of his waffle pieces and bacon. Nobody comments on it, but it's really precious. Patton does it because he's remembering the pumpkin carving fondly.

8. Finally, they all go back to the lair, pile on the couch, and watch TV while binge-eating tons of candy. They shove piles of candy at Patton just to see him go wide eyed. When Patton protests, Virgil empties a whole bag by pouring it on him. They end up watching scary movies and save Ru Paul's for another day. When they do eventually get Patton to watch Ru Paul's, it is a very enlightening experience for him.

9. Patton passes out during the movie marathon. It's the first time that he spends the night outside of his apartment, and that boy is conked the fuck out in a sugar crash. Remus challenges himself to roll Patton up in a blanket burrito. Patton never wakes up, even when Remus picks his cocooned form up, holds him to his chest, and starts doing his best impression of Golem, "My precioussss."

10. And if you made it this far, you get to find out that while Remus is busy swaddling the baby, Janus and Virgil have a cryptic conversation about their boss. Patton never asked them why they broke into his apartment, but it doesn't matter. It's a waiting game, and they fear whether Patton will come out intact when the other shoe drops.

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

Let’s talk about 16th century Italian theatre.

No wait come back I promise this is actually related to Sanders Sides

So, last night I was talking with some friends about an AU I’m currently working on. I’ve been away from the Sanders Sides fandom for a good while now, but recently my hyperfixation reactivated and now my brain is so ready to write a ridiculously long longfic with a convoluted premise and horrifying implications. (I’m like 25k in. Having the time of my life. No doubt I’ll talk about it more later. This isn’t about that.)

Since I’m not the sort of person who usually writes AUs - I prefer to stick to canonverse, and canonverse-adjacent fics - I eventually brought up how worried I always am about characterization of the Sides in AUs. Because although I do adore an AU; I devour Love and Other Fairytales like candy and think about Lavender For Luck all the time and don’t even get me started on WIBAR, when it comes to my own writing, I secondguess myself a lot. I don’t like to stray too far from canon concepts and characterization. I get worried when I don’t draw enough connections to things that happen in the series, because it feels like a betrayal of the source material - if I change a character dynamic from how it’s usually portrayed, I spend entirely too long thinking about how to make it work. 

And someone else said, well, I don’t usually worry about that sort of thing very much anymore. 

And I said, why not?

And they said, well, I haven’t watched the actual show for ages. I mainly treat the Sides as stock characters for the stories I write, and my brain fucking exploded.

...Exploded in a good way. I have to stress this so, so hard. My personal opinions on writing characterization and AUs apply just to my writing. I judge my own work entirely too harshly and work too hard at Getting Characterization right, and that doesn’t apply to other people’s work or AUs at all, I enjoy them all without a problem. This meta isn’t about OOC being a bad thing, or AUs that are completely removed from their source material being a bad thing, because they aren’t, not at all, they’re a form of creative expression just like any fanwork. And if someone starts getting on your case about that sort of thing, just... just block them.

Anyway, where was I. Exploding brain? Ah yes.

So a few other people chimed into the conversation at this point, agreeing that in a lot of cases, the Sides for them were stock characters with fun names, established personalities and tropes to play around with, and part of the fun for them at this point came less from interaction with canon and more about interactions with friends and fellow writers. Which is very different to how I do things.  I was fascinated, and my brain had one big delighted thought, oh shit! You’re treating the Sides like Commedia Dell’arte characters! I get it now!

(Disclaimer: I haven’t done drama or theatre for a good while now. If I make a factual mistake, either patiently bear with me or gently correct me.)

Commedia Dell’arte was a form of Italian improv theatre that was first popular in the 16-18th centuries through Europe, and didn’t have any proper established plots or scripts. The actors were almost never the same from performance to performacne, the comedy was over-the-top and often satirical and absurd in its physicality, it focused on plots about romance and jealousy and love.  Emphasis on an ensemble cast. Very stylized, very distinctive. Here’s one beng performed in Venice, for the Vibes.

[image description: a photo shot of two masked people in period costume conversing on a small wooden stage, taken over the heads of a crowd in Venice.]

The key, the thing that ties all Commedia Dell’arte together? The stock characters. There’s a list of all of these character archetypes, all with specific names and associated masks assigned to them, and when you’re performing this sort of theatre, all the actors pick one of the archetypes and put on a mask and work out what the situation is, and bam, you’re on the stage and off to the races. You’ve got the servant of two masters, the stuttering statesmen, the Sad Clown (relatable), the utterly obsessed lovers who won’t stop making doe eyes at each other on stage from behind those masks of theirs. 

Pretty freaky-looking masks, admittedly. Look at that nose on Naso Turco, the sly servant!

[image description: eight blue-and-black stylized Commedia Dell’arte masks, all labelled with their roles]

And the thing is, audiences would recognize these archetypes upon seeing them - it wasn’t so much about having characters that were perfectly ported from one story to another, like you might have in adaptations of fairy tales, it’s more about the archetypes. The personalities. Their status, and the way they interact with one another. Apparently all of the original cast of stock characters (you can find a list of them on Wikipedia, or maybe elsewhere) were "originally intended as a kind of characteristic representative of some particular Italian district or town." They’re representations of archetypes. You might even say that they’re conceptual representations. 

Sound familiar? Yeah, it’s not hard to see where I’m going with this.

In Commedia, stock characters are almost never played by the same actors because the cast is always different, and might be an entirely different theatre troupe - so the way of recognizing certain archetypes is by their clothing style, or other symbolic context clues. 

And that’s exactly how you recognize the Sides in fanworks when the AU is too far divorced from canon to understand them otherwise. If you’ve changed their ethnicity, or genderbent them, or given then a different species, you look for the context clues because at this point you’ve learned to read them like a language. 

If it’s just fanart, or the names haven’t been brought up yet, how do you tell it’s Roman? Well, Roman’s costume is pretty distinctive, even when modified - and failing that, even if he’s just in jeans and a t-shirt, or even if he’s an indistinct jello-y blob floating in the distant reaches of space - he’s going to be the red blob. They’re color-coded for our convinience. Virgil’s stormclouds and spiders, Janus has his snakes and almost always has something going on with one side of his face. 

Do you find this delightful? I hope you do. Because I do. I find it really, really delightful, and I’d never put conscious thought into this before last night. The Sides aren’t quite as flat and archetypal as the colorful cast of Commedia Dell’arte - they’re more fleshed out, for one thing, and even if writers don’t always pull on it, there’s canon backstory and plotlines to draw from. But they’re still archetypes, deliberately so in the context of canon. Someone in the server I was discussing this in summed it up really nicely - [..] we have Roman the artist, we have Janus for all the drama and deception, we have clever Logan to represent the science spirit. We have Patton for the morale lessons. We have Virgil for the memento mori style, and we have Remus for all the gore and dark comedic relief. 

Which is such a great updating of all of the classic theatrical archetypes. Because (although Italian improv theatre is still performed! People still use these old roles and costumes, but it’s definitely more historical than modern) the idea of servants and masters and cunning peasants and all the complicated dynamics between these roles, well... it isn’t super relevant to modern storytelling. When Commedia Dell’arte is performed nowadays, it’s almost never hashtag-relatable in the way it used to be. You know what’s more relatable? Archetypes of the nerd who doesn’t acknowledge his emotions, the grumpy loner with a heart of gold, the theatre kid who won’t stop singing. You can take those and all of the rest and shove them into all manner of situations, and you can make some really cool stories out of that. 

(National Theatre has a really nice video breaking down this theatre form a lot better than I can, with details I didn’t include here. Check it out here if you’re interested. It also includes details about the various archetypes’ physicalities and movements, which I think is kind of interesting, because in canon Sanders Sides the character’s physicalities are terrifyingly recognizable. That’s not really relevant to the idea of AU Improv Theatre, though, so I won’t poke any further at that thought. ANYWAY.)

I’ll level with you: some of the things people write in this fandom, I just don’t vibe with and I don’t get, and I’m okay with that. It’s the maxim of Mind Your Own Business, I just don’t interact and I keep on moving in my own lane. But, like... maybe I don’t need to get it. I’m pretty sure there were people in 1600s Europe who showed up to a Commedia Dell’arte performance and went ‘no, this one isn’t for me, did you see how they absolutely butchered the characterization of the Innamorati? Disgraceful’. But for many other people, maybe that particular performance just hit the spot, because they’d always wanted to see an interpretation just like that, that diverged from the norm just a little bit. And even if nobody in the audience at all liked it, maybe the performers were having enough of a blast that it more than made up for it.

And if not any of that - well, there’s always the next show!

[image description: four masked Commedia Dell’arte performers crowded around a prop cafe table, exclaiming dramatically over a menu that they’re all bent over.]

I don’t know if my brain will ever be chill enough to let me write something completely separated from canon. (Although... now that I’m typing that, I recognize that the chessboxing AU is not so much separated from canon as a tragic widower of a dinosaur-related apocalyptic divorce. Okay. Nevermind. Still, you probably get where I’m coming from.) And I’m probably not going to stop treating characterization like I’m going to be sentenced by a vicious panel of judges to a cruel and untimely death if I get the slightest bit of it wrong, but... I don’t know. The realization that it’s all comes back to this makes me happy, somehow. Just generally joyful about the state of the fandom, and the things that people create, and the community that’s been built up around it. 

Commedia is all about exploring stuff in improv like love and romance and dynamics, and isn't that exactly what we're doing as writers? Throwing character archetypes together and making them kiss and talk to see what will happen? It's not really improv, but it's not like we have any stage to act on except the AO3 posting page.

We didn't set out to make the characters from a web series into stock archetypes that so many people pick up and play with to Work Out Our Issues With. (Writing is free therapy. We all knew that already.) That was definitely not the original intention of Sanders Sides - or any similar fandom, actually. (I know TSS isn’t the only one this happens in, not even close.)

But, hey, we're humans, and it always comes back to us wanting to play. And there's nothing new under the sun, not really. Of course given an infinite internet sandbox and a goofy web series about some guy’s identity crisis, we would accidentally reinvent the original Italian comedy theatre. That’s kind of brilliant. 

You know what, I think 16th century Italians would enjoy Sanders Sides AUs a lot. I bet they’d make some pretty banger masks for the boys to wear. 

God, I wish I had a time machine.