#this is like the fourth time I've made this I still haven't learnt

[regicidal-defenestration]

I need a personal assistant who's one job is to follow me around and if ever I express a desire to make something with an enriched dough to throw things at me until I come back to my senses

[thrina-thrina-on-the-wall]

update on my students and not having crushes on them

Firstly, friendship is superior. I've managed to sort of make friends with one of the female students now on Facebook at least. And she says she liked my dress and sent me a picture from when I read the Bible in church and thanked me for my teaching, so success? The girls are shy about their English and there's one who hides behind her book when I try to talk to her.

There's 6 single boys in my higher level class (3 in the other, but I find them overall less interesting. Maybe because I'm relatively certain that they're all at least 4 years younger than me). This is long, so I'm hiding the rest of it.

Three of the single boys are in my mentor group (I don't lead the group) and two of those are among the students who were drinking early in the term (back when there was a 7th boy who got expelled). (Those two and the fourth I mention here were also among the young men to go to the hospital when the principal was critically ill and among other thingdy offer to donate blood for him. And stay up all night over at the hospital.)

One of those, apparently the instigator, is my most likely to speak up in class student, including when I ask for a volunteer to close in prayer. He's also surprised me by being one of the top students. He's probably learnt his lesson and mended his ways.

The other is also likely to ask clarification questions and is one of the students who was taking English the year before. This means he can compare me to the online teacher. He did this once at the end of a test saying that they had more reading time last year. This was not the right time and place and he apologised after. That felt awkward, but yeah, he needed to. I found out a week later who told him to apologise. Then I found I'd made a mistake in some feedback and had to give my own apology. Fortunately he knows how to form the different tenses though not always when to use them. I've got an especial soft spot for him because he's one of the few students who isn't Presbyterian and might be closer to me in some doctrines (I have no problem working with presbyterians, but I'm not one). He's also in the presbytery group I'm in and I do think he's good looking. Slight bad boy look with one pierced ear and a tattoo on his neck (barely visible because dark skin). This is totally balanced out by the cuteness of baby holding.

The third of the students in the mentor group is the one of the single students that I feel pretty certain is older than me. I'm not sure what to make of him. I think he once tried leaving the miss off my name in class and I wasn't sure if that was friendliness or disrespect, but interactions don't line up with disrespect. Still not sure he's entirely happy with my teaching though. He's maybe the student I'm most careful when interacting with because I feel like too much friendliness might be misinterpreted and that would be awkward (I'm shy, but still generally friendly in the accidentally flirt with someone without realising way.) He's also in the presbytery group.

Of the remaining students, one is in the presbytery group (none of the girls are in either of the groups I'm in). He's one I took longer to notice and match name to face, but he's nice. Actually talked to us and asked our holiday plans when I'd been meaning to start that conversation for at least fifteen minutes (big feast after church on Sunday). We also ran into him in town the other week (he also came back in our friend's truck, though outside) and he definitely waited until after I bought my icecream to queue up for history. Dunno what that was. Good guy though. He was picking up the money to pay for next term.

Next, there's the students who I'm not in any smaller groups in. One we still see a lot of. Nice guy, I'm sure he's got younger siblings though I haven't asked. Larger families are the norm here, but something about him just screams brother. I think it's accurate to say he's become friends with my brother (he's a nerd whose never had many friends.) He seems to be the go to computer guy for a few people. Nice guy, which means he doesn't get the girl.

And last is the definite quietest of them. The only distinctive thing about him is that he did really well on some of the assessments and exams. He's not afraid to speak English, but I can't really recall him taking in class and if I mention him to other people they might not even know who I'm talking about. I don't know if he's gone home for the holidays, but probably as I think he's local. I wouldn't expect to notice when it comes to him.

(One of the boys in the lower level class I think left the miss off my name the other day, but it's holidays and he wasn't speaking English and though I expect it in class (every other teacher is Pastor Name and they just don't do informal) I don't always like the divide.)

I don't know why the single boys get a write-up like this when the married students are generally just as interesting (I don't share a small group with any of the married students in that class though). But I couldn't sleep and this happened. Don't know why I can't sleep and I'll need to sleep in the afternoon tomorrow because of it. Insomnia was a little bit of a problem last night too.

[yaboymercury]

Gassy Lessons - First class: English

Jay was pissed. Despite being the first week of his second attempt at his last year of high school, he had already missed the first assignment. His English teacher Mr Stevens would usually let someone get away with just a warning, but since Jay was redoing the year he had higher expectations which was why when Jay was supposed to be heading home he was stuck in his English classroom.

Sitting in the middle desk of the small room Jay considered just leaving since Stevens was taking his time arriving. He had done so multiple times during his previous years in the school but decided against it since he didn't really want to get himself in anything deeper wanting this school year to go as smoothly as possible.

Before he had any more time to think on it though his teacher walked in.

Despite the circumstances Jay usually liked the teacher, but not particularly for his teaching. Since Mr Stevens was so passionate about English he tended to get up from his desk and walk around the room reading passages, making dramatic movements to emphasize what he was saying and occasionally scribbling down hasty notes on the board at the front. While many students found this method engaging, Jay tended to be more interested in how all this movement made the teachers thick chino covered ass move and shake providing enough motivation for Jay to attend the lessons. On top of his ass though Jay found the rest of the teacher attractive with his medium length messy brown hair, cute glasses and young features giving him almost a dreamy quality to the rebellious student.

But obviously today Jay was more annoyed at the man who was obviously making a move to prove himself as an authority with the detention as he sat down at his desk and gave Jay an icy look. Turning away from Jay we peered into his desk draws and pulled out a thin battered paperback book. He stood up and strolled over to Kay and placed handed him the book which had obviously seen better days.

"Since you obviously aren't committed to your work yet this year, all I'm going to ask you to do is read through this poetry collection and take in some of the messages of the poems, once you're done tell me."

And with that he turned back to return to his desk, and of course Jay took the opportunity to peek at his ass barely being held back by his trousers.

Jay was relieved that the book looked short being only a dozen pages long, so he thought he might as well get it over with. As he opened the cover before he could even process the first words on the page he was assaulted by a wretched smell hitting him like a train. Not wanting to react to harshly in front of the teacher he withheld a gag but the stench wasn't holding up. It had to have come from the book Jay thought as the stink arrived as soon as he opened it, daring to confirm his suspicions he brought the page slightly closer to his nose his theory was confirmed as it seemed the cloud of stink grew stronger the closer he got to it. In an attempt to stop the smell Jay slammed the book closed and attempted to get a breathe of fresh air to cleanse his palette.

"Focus on you work Jay" He heard from the desk as soon as he closed the book. Mr Stevens look had become more mischevious with a slight glimmer of a smirk as he stared down his student.

"Yes sir" Jay responded picking the book back up. As he did so the teacher withdrew a Tupperware box from his bag which he opened and began to eat from. Jay couldn't tell exactly what he was eating but it looked something like an eggy salad with a lot of thick creamy dressing.

Switching his attention back to the book he opened the next page and was again hit with a stink but this time stronger, more rotten. He couldn't hold back a choke this time as he felt his air supply being attacked. His eyes watered as he attempted to power through the attack on his senses, he could feel the toxicity of the pages radiating out of the book.

Moving through the pages he tried to stay on each for a little while to give the illusion he was reading but as they went on the smell got worse. Continuing through the pages he aimlessly hopes for maybe just one clean page so he could focus but the smell only got worse. It was in fact quite the opposite as he began to notice marks on the page, greenish brown stains on some of the pages. He didn't want to believe it at first but he knew that he could recognise the smell all along.

It was the undeniable smell of rotten gassy farts. He gulped making the disgusting realisation and as he did he heard a snicker from his usually nice and helpful teacher who had just finished eating. What was once just a smirk had turned into a malicious grin as he wiped his mouth, Jay put the pieces together and knew exactly wear the farts were sourced from.

Turning to the last page there was a deep dirty green stain in the middle, the stench radiating out of it was sickening makinf Jay gag as he closed the last page and tried to recover from the second hand fart attack he has just experienced.

"Oh so you're finished?" Mr Stevens said standing "So what did you think of the collection? I find the words so engrossing, the really create a sensory experience don't they?" He knew what he was doing mocking Jay with the words as he sauntered towards him.

"Why did you do it?" Jay looked up at the teacher with his eyes still wet from experiencing the smell.

"Do what?" He replied with fake concern, but immediately answered himself "Oh you mean this?" He put one hand on Jays desk and leaned forward looking down at his student with a mean smile.

PRRRRRRRRRRRAPP

The fart blasted into the classroom echoing on the walls, even though it wasn't aimed at him the stink still reached Jay, the smell being fresh hit him harder making him recoil.

"Well being a teacher means I can't exactly be farting around in lessons so between classes I often relieve myself into my favourite book." He explained snatching the book back from Jay. "I've been saving it for a special occasion, so when I saw my favourite pervy student was behind on work I thought I could teach him a stinky lesson."

"What do you mean pervy?" Jay said feigning indifference trying to avoid eye contact with the sadistic teacher.

"Don't be stupid Jay, you really think I haven't noticed you staring at this ass for the years I've been teaching you?" He turned around letting Jay get a close look at the cheeks up close, Jay obviously couldn't resist not being able to tear his eyes from it.

Prrrrrap

The fart was small but packed a punch making him pull back. But despite the horrific smell, Jay was now sporting a hard on beneath the desk after being so close to the ass of his dreams. "Who knows? Maybe I like the attention you give it Jay?" Stevens said sitting down in the chair in front of Jay turning it around to face him.

In shock from everything Jay was surprised when the teacher asked "So Jay what was your favourite line from the collection?" Jay had completely forgotten he was supposed to actually read the collection.

"I'm sorry sir I can't remember any of it"

"That's disappointing Jay, it really is. I'd have to say mine would be the line from page 3..." He leaned over in the chair dramatically and winced a little:

FRAAAAAAAAARP FFRRRRRTT

"I just really think it's an important message which gives off a really strong aromatic sensation."

He wasn't wrong, after the flatulence had amplified massively off the wooden chair it went straight for Jay's nostrils with a dirty stink. The teacher stood up and began to waft his hand behind his big ass as he paced in front of Jay's desk where he sat stunned at the gassy skill of his teacher.

"What about the line from the fourth piece Jay do you think you could read it out for me?" Jay knew what he wanted but he really wasn't sure if he would be able to pull it off. He tensed in his chair pushing all he could.

Frrttt

"God Jay that was pathetic, almost disrespectful, have I failed you as a teacher?" He said in fake anger "It's supposed to go like this!" He stopped in front of the desk turning around and leaned over his hands on the desk in front of Jay. His amazing ass was pointing right at Jay and even though he knew what was coming the ass tempted him closer.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPTTT

But it was like the blast pushed him right back with a cloud of powerful stink.

"Ahh much better don't you think?" the teacher looked back at his student dazed in a cloud of his stink. Mr Stevens leaned into Jay and gave his student a sniff. "Wow Jay you really smell like you've learnt your lesson" he said giggling at his stink covered student.

"Despite loving the whole collection Jay, what I love the most about the book is how it ends, do you remember it Jay?" Jay recalled the stain on the last page and the unbelievable stench of it, but in fear of what it may mean all he could muster was a weak shake of his head. Ominously Mr Stevens stomach rumbled.

"Oh Jay" be said pitifully "I think you do remember, and with the help of my egg salad from earlier I think my rotten ass can remind you." The thought terrified Jay.

Usually the sight of his sexiest teacher sliding out of his painted on trousers would excite Jay but seeing a matching streak stain on his white briefs terrified the student.

" Hopefully you can learn something from this..." The teacher said as he wrapped his hands behind Jay's head and pulled him nose first right into his stained crack. The last thing Jake could remember was the engulfing sound of gas enveloping his face and the stink of eggy flatulence filling up his head.

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

After smacking Mia one (and Jim).

Janis: Soz about the shiner, like Janis: Dunna how to dodge like a decent ref should obvs...you should work on that Janis: But forreal, you're welcome for the time you got to spend in the head's office with a cold press on #schoolboyfantasiesaremadeofthis Jimmy: 🤔 You mean this tiny insignificant scratch like Jimmy: I'd say get the pads out but between you and your nan lately I'm not sure my ego's up for that Jimmy: Your plan all along was it? 👌 she's no type of mine but I appreciate you trying to be a mate 😉 Jimmy: Best bit was Gracie doing her bit to defend my honor at the end there. Maybe I DO owe her one 😂 Janis: Alright, monty python 😂 don't be a hero on my account...oh wait, advice coming too late, my bad 😉 Janis: Ah well, if you're not fancying it like, pal, good thing I'll have her to myself all this week AND next 🙄 thanks mia... now THAT was the real plan all along 😏 Janis: At least you know what her shout is already 👍 though if you could spit in Mia's next, I think she'd take that and call it quits Janis: If you make like Rocky and get steak up on your bruises, I'll get my Da to cook it for ya after, we settled too then, yeah? 😘 Jimmy: Mia's plan 100% 🙄 Am I meant to be offended that she thinks you're a lesbian still? Because I'm taking it as a compliment #prettyboy 😂 Jimmy: Shame I've got too many disciplinaries to have her banned it'd be one less skinny latte to have to expertly craft Jimmy: Maybe. What sides are we talking about? I think one more smack down and I'll be demanding my chips triple cooked Jimmy: Warn your relatives Janis: Assumedly, pretending here her stinging text slams had her intended effect, and didn't just make me fall about, like #facesoprettyyoudontseeascar 🤞 Janis: Ugh, tell your boss to do one, 'cos they'd lose half their business if you did, think on, dickhead 😒 Janis: Know your worth, babe Janis: Gotta respect that Janis: At least my Brother doesn't need to bother fighting you now I beat him to it, ay? Jimmy: Who'd you wanna be, princess (bless Gracie Lou) and basketcase already taken and athlete being the obvious choice 💪 Jimmy: Tempting offer but you can do better Jimmy: Of course that was 1 of the 10! Should've seen that coming Jimmy: Can't lie I'd much rather take you on 😉 Janis: Never seen it 🤷 but boy is Charlie Sheen's bro, yeah? So sounds legit for the family I have to endure 😏 Janis: You're not gonna end up with Grace in the end are ya? 😤 just 'cos you wanna rock the leather fingerless gloves #lewk Janis: I'll never tell 😉 his ego definitely ain't up for that Janis: we can have a rematch any time any place Janis: i'm ready 💪 Jimmy: Me either. Still break you out though. Isn't that what they do? 🤔 I'll ask your sister but not before she gives me of precious bling to take down cash converters Jimmy: My bad boy image has taken too much of a battering, literal, for me to refuse the fashion 😎 Jimmy: Let's go then. There isn't a nurse but I can still play the concussed care and run. Say when. Janis: Probs after some cringe bonding and bants, thank GOD we got that outta the way, mate 😜 Janis: Most of her jewels are from Primark so I dunna how golden your chances are, don't tell anyone like #banginonabudget Janis: What lesson you in anyway? In PE rn so usually you wouldn't get a look-in (you ain't that special, babe) but they got me coaching the first years girls for a fucking team management module and...Give me strength Janis: we talking screaming when the ball comes their way levels Janis: so I'm making them do laps whilst I shout encouragements about how it ain't that cold from my warm as shit coat, like any gym teach worth their salt 😉 Janis: Gonna get an A, like Jimmy: Oh I dunno, you and Mia still need to hug it out 😉 bet she'd love it too 💘 Jimmy: I'm in art of course #tortured soul and everyone knows you're my muse so done deal there. Jimmy: I'd come snapping but I don't need the rep that'd come with background first years in their shorts Janis: I'd sooner watch a thousand chick flicks with Gracie Janis: amongst other fates worse than death Janis: but honestly #whyareyousoobsessedwithmehun? #toolittletoolateforthisloveaffair Janis: That's probably why you're so tortured 😉 Edie Sedgewick I ain't Janis: Nah, that wouldn't help your case, there's only so much bashing that I can be a party to in a day... Janis: I get to swap with Kayleigh Dwyer next period, meant to go write up about my experience but sure I can as easily do that wherever you need to get your inspiration from, like Jimmy: 😂 it's the curse of being so #goals, hun Jimmy: I don't have a clue who that is but like I've said before you take a decent picture. Now don't get a big head (it'd fuck with my framing terrible) but it isn't half bad being stuck with you Jimmy: There is always Mia's 🦆 pout if you're really busy but like Jimmy: Since you aren't I'm thinking back to mine? Twix will happily hear about any of your running or ball based experiences Janis: Kayleigh? Rude, she sits next to you in English, the one drooling all over you and the desk? Bless her, she'll be devvo 😂 Janis: I forgot you haven't had an Ali McKenna education, she was Andy Warhol's main bitch (aside from Basquiat, tea) in all his shit films, Bob Dylan was hard for her too but she weren't really arsed so he wrote Like A Rolling Stone about her Janis: At least you didn't come for my life that hard post-bath Janis: Bad enough like, I'd have to fake my own death forreal then Janis: She'd fucking love that...do her dirty in the edit, boo, no facetune 😂 Janis: A girl after my own heart that dog, kindred spirts 😍 Janis: sounds good, always down for being out of this dump Janis: your Da's unlikely to pop back for lunch, yeah? Jimmy: I've been calling her Kourtney #awkward Jimmy: Bet she loves it anyway Jimmy: Speaking of, I still have that project to finish up (deadlines long enough to hang yourself with cheers ms sheppard) might dedicate some space on that edit to the lot of them. Fancy helping as well as inspiring? 😈 Jimmy: #satireorshadeisit? Jimmy: Good. Keep the lovefest away from me. Last thing I need is Twix licking my wounds Jimmy: Packed up his sarnies myself so we're set Janis: The KardashiKlan clout, everyone knows she's the CLASSIEST sister, SO fitting 😂 Janis: Can't be anything but a sweetheart, can you? N'awwh! Janis: Hell yeah, you clearly need my talents for cuntery, you bring the skillz, I'll bring my winning personality and large head, like Janis: How fucking rude though, tell her to keep her antiseptic spit to herself 💅 #menaintshitbabygirl #imsorryyouhadtolearnthislessonsosoon Janis: Like I said, you're just too good for this world 😇 Janis: Maybe I'll find the time between being a muse and bad influence to make you one Janis: Its no steak apology but Jimmy: 👍 Too right Jimmy: Maybe if we take the mad bitch out she won't chew a hole in anyone's face (tempting as that'd be if it was any of Mia's squad) been enough facial damages sustained for one day Jimmy: Get some very #aesthetic shots for my A Jimmy: 😇 Always on that good boy track Jimmy: Maybe I can shout you a pie and pint in that spirit Janis: Goes without saying, need the skirting and your Da's shoes to be safe for another day Janis: Should bin off the rest of the day altogether, then you could take Twix to pick the kiddo's up, Cass would be made up getting to show her off Janis: you always after those best big bro points, I know Janis: and I know it, you always want me to protest too much the other way like 😈 Janis: wholesome afternoon of dog walking and homework with bae, no wonder the entire female population of the school is so jealous 😉😘 Jimmy: Did you just have a good idea? 😮 Jimmy: But yeah world's most bog standard bro coming through 🏆💪 get that middleschool clout cass 😎 Jimmy: We just can't stop being #goals however hard we try. Damn 😘 Janis: Don't sound so surprised dickhead! I'm a wealth of cunning plans or have you forgotten Janis: Didn't hit you that hard Janis: Now who's being modest Jimothy 😊 you know you're bestest Janis: whoda thunk it, bitch, not I Jimmy: Been a while can't blame me 😏 Jimmy: 💕 Cute Jimmy: How will I survive the aft? Janis: We can go back there if you really pining Janis: and I'M the one who's sexuality is always in question Janis: #fakebaebetterthanarealone Janis: Ha ha, keep testing me and you might not Jimmy: You'd never make it. Can't get enough of me 💋 Jimmy: If you'd rather be in school doing their tests don't let me stop you 😏 Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: Told you i'm bad Janis: 😑 Janis: bet you break before i do Janis: we'll see how bad you are, won't we Jimmy: Last shift's 💶 on it Janis: Done Janis: I've got my eye on some new kicks Janis: At least even when you lose you can still pretend you treated me 😜 Jimmy: When you lose you can pretend you don't need a man to treat you Jimmy: so many #s in that for you Janis: Imma win when I PROVE I don't need you to treat me as much as you need me to treat you, sucka! Janis: and there ain't no point in nothing if it doesn't make your 'gram captions pop off #truerwordsneverspoken Jimmy: We'll see Jimmy: so soon too ⏲ Janis: you started your countdown already, boy? Janis: keeeeeeeen Jimmy: Not ready? Shame Janis: Born ready Janis: Admittedly, got the upper hand, nothing sexy about first year girls, despite what some fourth year boys might believe Janis: you surrounded by all them loose af art hoes Jimmy: How rude of me not to pull all your focus Jimmy: yep, those blunt fringes really get me goin Janis: Well s'why I know I got the W in the bag 🤷 Janis: Called that in the air Janis: whip off those unnecessary nerd glasses and there's real beauty under there Janis: #hotdamn Jimmy: For a rom com hater you've got all the cliches down 😂 Jimmy: Quietly confident now. That shit won't help you off screen 🏆💪 Janis: Oh, you don't recall how pushy my sister is? Janis: Let's call this off rn and she'd be happy to remind you herself I'm sure 😏 Janis: I'm sure you've learnt PLENTY off a whole different typa romcom that is all types of fucked IRL Jimmy: Only if she promises to bring Tam too. I need that model height for my shoot naturally Janis: You really wanna be that letchy photographer stereotype, huh? Janis: Get the whole squad 'round for a sesh Janis: Just know they'll start a # Jimmy: #rolloutladies Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: I'll #bowout of that one thanks Janis: Sure? It'll give you a better chance of winning the bet Janis: #knackered Jimmy: I'd rather lose Jimmy: #takemymoneyandrunaslongasIcancomewith Janis: Sweet talker. Janis: Meant to be me with the gift of the gab 🍀 Jimmy: nope, real talker Jimmy: Got up close and personal enough with Mia today thanks. Still washing these hands Janis: Same, despite what she might think, not something I fancy repeating either Janis: Though I will if she talks shit one more time Janis: So watch out if you don't want the other side to match, like Jimmy: Don't make me say I'll do it all again Jimmy: so many stereotypes already in this chat Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Ew. 💋 Janis: Best get your chat to as high a standard as poss tho, as all the guards and other inmates will be listening in Janis: Reckon's her Da can actually get me done Janis: Bitch be serious Jimmy: Doesn't he sell cars? Janis: Lmao, no Janis: Though he is 100% a used car salesman in aesthetic, you're spot on Janis: He is a lawyer or some shit so he knows realistically who gives a shit about a playground scrap but he'll try and scare my parents like they're fucking idiots so no one is ever mean to his little princess again Janis: That type 🙄 Jimmy: She wants to be a yank so bad it must hurt Jimmy: Remind me to cut my pops so slack next time he's pissing me off Jimmy: could be so much worse Janis: Too bad she's a few hundred years late for the mass migration to the states Janis: Only looking famished, like Janis: Same, wouldn't hate being as spoilt as she is but you know Jimmy: Yep, too bad you'll be waiting for those kicks Jimmy: 🎅's your best bet Jimmy: Not too late to back out 😏 Jimmy: Keep on his good side Janis: No chance Janis: I can keep him on side by keeping away from yours, simple 😜 Jimmy: You sure? There's literally songs about how much he loves 💋 Jimmy: I think he'll be mad if you don't cave Janis: 💋 for him from MILFs maybe Janis: I don't think it'll pain him to see you go without Janis: I see no mistletoe, like #demstherules Jimmy: 👌 Bet stays on Jimmy: Take your chances Janis: Way to make me sound more predatory than the big man 😲😂 Janis: If you're that scared, we can mark it down to a lose for you by default 😉 Jimmy: Not when I'll have you begging for a draw in a bit. Easy Jimmy: Just get ready to accept your loss, not reason we should both be sore Jimmy: #bruisedandbattered Janis: Pretty cocky for a boy who can't even promise A FEW bruises, like 😜 Jimmy: Waste of a 🤞 Jimmy: why talk about it when I can just do it Janis: As long as you start it, I'm allowed to finish it Janis: win win for me 😊 Jimmy: Cocky for a lass who hasn't won anything against me yet Janis: 😡 Janis: it wasn't a fair fight all those other times, thank you very much Jimmy: Maybe you were faking the skills as well as the 💕 Jimmy: awwh Janis: You won't be finding out any time soon Janis: ✌ Jimmy: So you keep saying, all talk I think 😂 Janis: All talk no action is right Janis: Prick 🖕😂 Jimmy: 😘 Jimmy: You're about me Jimmy: unlucky ☘ Janis: Shh Janis: Not all bad, I suppose, at least you've got a cute dog 😘 Jimmy: good point, what a you offering? first year having an asthma attack? 😂 #goals Janis: I never said I had anything worth sticking 'round for Janis: More fool ye for your 😍 Jimmy: Secret's safe. I won't tell Mia Janis: I think she's pretty confident she knows where she and I lie on the pecking order already 😂 Janis: not coming for her 👑 Jimmy: just her 👃 Janis: What can I say? Save daddy the surgery fees Jimmy: you're the 😇 you think I am Janis: it has been said Janis: oh wait, no it hasn't, ever 😂 Jimmy: Only because 🐶 can't speak Janis: The love is so real Janis: Its all the treats and walkies, maybe I'll have to employ the same technique on you when the bet is up Janis: Worth a shot 🎯 Jimmy: Start now #worthashot #haveyoubeentricked? 😂 Janis: I'm not quite as easy to distract as Twix Janis: All these dog comparisons, bit rude tbh, don't think I appreciate Janis: Will piss on your boots tho Jimmy: Unless we're playing pool or darts Jimmy: Make sure they're mine. My dad has only just replaced his Janis: Wasn't even you, it was pub lighting and a prick munching on his crisps too loud at the bar #dontflatterlike Janis: Will do 👍 I'm not looking to make him dislike me anymore than I already have lol Jimmy: #surejan Jimmy: least he's never about so no drama there. Been enough for one day Janis: #ihateu Janis: what's he even do, like? dead busy Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: Warehouse Jimmy: Very much #goals Janis: Ah fun, lots of shitty shifts and long days like, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt too for being such a prick about poor Twix then Jimmy: Probably shouldn't. He bought her Janis: True...People never think how big a commitment a dog is though Janis: Twix be giving them puppy dog eyes like a pro Jimmy: before 🎄 too though what a prick Jimmy: can't even use the excuse Janis: Bleh Janis: Shoulda clued him in like 😉 #cuffed Jimmy: if I'd known he was going to do it I would've Jimmy: done now though Janis: Yeah, its just another stress you don't need, like? 😕 Jimmy: Snagged me you so maybe she's worth keeping about 😏 Jimmy: Because yeah she does take all the credit Janis: Smooth 😋 Janis: Can't go breaking my heart now, nor the kiddo's for that Janis: I can start taking her out again in the mornings, don't miss much 'bout dem days but it was decent having a running buddy Jimmy: Fancy some company or you wanna be alone with your true love? Janis: You reckon you can keep up, yeah? Janis: Not having you slowing me down 😉 Jimmy: Can't be using me as your excuse thanks 💪 Jimmy: maybe I'll come with then when I'm not working, leave you in no doubt Janis: Its a date, mate Jimmy: 💕 Janis: That's probably them more than sufficiently warmed up Janis: Get back to work, slacker 💚 Jimmy: 🎨📷 will do Jimmy: not too hard though, gotta keep my 💪 up for the victory party you'll owe me Janis: In your dreams, baby 💋 Jimmy: see you there 😘