#this is like super far back ...20+ years mnn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

BLINDSIDED

GLIMPSES OF THE PAST - send BLINDSIDED for a scene from my muse’s past in which they were betrayed or shocked by what someone did (atticus is the only one who knows about this atm :3)

it hurts.

fuck, is this how it ends?

soft grunts fill the dark, the sound of flesh squelching echoing in the space between his ears, loud & unrelenting. he ...felt sick at the sound alone.

it hurts.

— gods, it hurts.

eyes snapped open to find the world flying, peaceful & calm, the sun setting in the far distance. he could almost get lost in the sight, he felt his heart rate slow with every second he stared into the dark, deep red of a beautiful sundown. he should take more time to appreciate what nature had to offer. he lived a life of materialism & forgot what really mattered sometimes, but bills needed to be paid, right?

maybe this wasn't the end after all. maybe he was just getting started.

oh yeah, he had to be dreaming or why was everything upside down? right? & why were the voices louder than usual? louder than the subtle whispers in his ears, the little devil on his shoulders - or something the angel, though... rarely that one. they just wouldn't stop.

silas. silas. silas. SILAS!

"..the fuck you want?" his voice a low rasp, barely audible even to himself, which snapped him out of whatever gentle sleep he'd been lulling himself into.

the first time eyes blinked open once more, the world was still upside down, but blurrier than before - a dark red shimmer obscuring his vision, though he could still see someone stepping into his line of sight. still upside down.

hand against his cheek, gentle & warm, he wanted it to stop. don't fucking touch me. but the words wouldn't come. eyes meet his own, they ... looked concerned - like he was in trouble. was he?

the pain is sharp, it's searing hot in his side, like it's trying to tear out a part of him. "fuck." voice soft, barely audible still & silas wondered why the hell he couldn't get the words out he wanted, curse up a storm & fucking take names.

the voices kept hissing, whispering in that sweet, alluring tone in his ears, but it didn't make sense. nothing did.

hold him.

hold his head.

you've got to keep him awake.

shit, he's blacking out.

do something!

it's the arm! there's too much blood. oh god.

which was about the same time silas coughed, but it wasn't the usual dry-spending-all-day-in-the-desert-sand cough, it was ... full. warm. red & dripping down his face.

fucking hold his head up! he's gonna choke on his blood!

he ... knew that voice. corporal. shit, did he fall asleep on night shift again? he promised that'd never happen again. fuck, he was in so much trouble. he didn't need another i'm so disappointed in you speech. he got enough of those for a fucking lifetime. but he still couldn't bring himself to speak.

then his vision went dark, but ..it wasn't him. someone covered it. someone..something... when he came to again, he could see. his unit, they were all standing around him, some in full armor, some .. not. but the majority of them were.. bloody. what the fuck happened?

so cold.

"si, si, listen. you gotta stay awake!"

"ah.. shit. ow. the fuck's happening?"

"you're gonna be okay, you hear? just don't move. they're coming as fast as they can."

— who?

who's coming?

who's...coming where?

"put pressure on it!"

they did & silas groaned, his body convulsing against his will, one of his hands ... stuck while the other came up to find his face, fist pressed against his lips. he pulled the other & was met with resistance.

"don't, stop it. si! don't move, damnit!"

"why?" why did his body hurt? what did he do? why couldn't he focus? why was he so cold? he could feel his teeth clatter, but they were in the damn desert. another tug. nobody ever said he was smart.

"do that again, i swear to god, i'll knock you out."

"hurts... it hurts." voice shaking, his eyes found his corporal's & that's where they stayed. irrevocably. they forever would.

"i know, i know, baby. you got this. please, don't fall asleep. don't give in. i know you're a stubborn little shit, be.. be stubborn. f-for me." a pair of blood-soaked hands cupped his face & he wasn't sure why it dawned on him then, but ..it did.

he was dying, wasn't he?

his parents were right. he'd die in a puddle of his own blood & nobody would give a shit. well, at least he wasn't alone, right?

head lifted a little, it'd been held up by someone anyway & he couldn't help a weak little laugh at the sight, coughing up more blood. what a fucking joke. he couldn't even die properly, struck down by an enemy in a brave gunfight defending his home country. or something.

a fence would strike him down.

— seriously?

he could see it sticking out of his body, an impressive piece of metal sticking out of the left side of his abdomen & another got his arm. fuckin' hell. that explained the blinding hot pain tearing his insides apart.

weak little chuckle, cough followed, rocking his body on the fence again, which had the entire group huddled up around him hold their breaths. "you tell my folks the truth ...how.. how i died, i'll .. i'll fucking haunt your ass." eyes so heavy, he really just wanted to nap. everything was so heavy, always. now, right now he felt light. like .. like he could fly if he just wished for it hard enough.

up up & away.

away from condescending eyes & ridiculing sneers. it was so easy, wasn't it? all he had to do was...give in. sounded simple enough. simple enough for him to manage, surely.

"don't you fucking dare." soft growl in his ear & he knew who... who it was. ugh.

"'s fine. i'm.. okay." he could be free.

"no. stop. you're not gonna die here. i'm not gonna go, you can't either. it's my damn fault, so you're gonna pull yourself together and you're gonna fucking keep your eyes open."

sigh.

"please, si. i'm sorry. i'm sorry."

he did realize everybody was watching, right? weren't they supposed to be a secret? hm.

wait, what did he mean.. his fault?

hold...on. he was... he was.. they were alone & he was behaving like an idiot, silas didn't get it.

you're a spy. tell me why. was any of it real? hm?

he... still didn't get it. why would he think that?

he remembered them arguing, one yelling louder than the other; heart rates through the roof & then... fuck. he remembered. palms had soared closer, had pressed against his chest & pushed him over the railing in one strong... push.

words still ringing in his ear now that he remembered the scene in vivid detail, his heart clenched. those words were meant to be the last thing he heard

"maybe in another life we can be happy, i'm sorry si. i really loved you."

the medics in the area brought blood, but they didn't have the necessary tools to free him, so silas was stuck on that fence with his entire unit sitting by him.. for six hours.

silas had tyche on his side that night, the fence missed vital organs by mere inches & after a few months, he was back on his feet, though - despite a thorough explanation afterwards ... trust... between lovers was broken.

& then... there was karma.