#this is just... idk people's Issues clash in weird ways sometimes but ofc its possible to make it work it just means everyone needs to comp

[winterywitch]

heya !! im sure you didnt mean this in a mean way, but keep in mind that there are lots of autistic ppl that like to talk and infodump abt their special interests and can often get caught up in our own heads and not realise that we're not letting anyone else get a word in edgeways so you kinda have to gently prod us to let you speak, but. yea i just wanted to let u know abt that side of things as well !

as someone whos on the spectrum and like, ALL of my friends are also on the spectrum, i totally get that trust me @_@ and being an abuse survivor makes it 20x harder to actually get a word in, because im already groomed into sitting, listening, letting people trample over me and Being A Good Child for other people

for me this is less “those mean selfish autistics” and more just, this is how my neuroses clash with other peoples’ sometimes… like im on the spectrum but i was also conditioned from a very young age to be EXTREMELY hyper-aware of myself and hyper-aware to the point of basically being an empath with regards to other people too

like the proverbial They need to be let know clearly, verbally, that theyre kinda hogging the conversation space, and the proverbial Me needs to be allowed extra conversation space and be coaxed out of my shell very verbally and clearly and it sucks because its hard to make sure both parties get what they need but ofc its doable, i make it work all the time.

its just frustrating that this is a pattern for me not even rly with my loved ones but just, random people flock to me and see me as this person they can just do that with, and i dont have the courage inside me OR the outside encouragement to let them know i kind of want to talk to and i want MY interests and things to be treated with importance too, and historically most of them in my past were not even autistic, the most impressionable cases were just assholes who only cared about themselves which adds to the immediately defensive, resentful feeling i get about it

idk if this makes sense but like, that is absolutely an aspect i try to be aware of since its so present in my personal life, i know that in a lot of cases ppl just are not meaning to do this and have nothing but good intentions it just sucks not being this sort of person who can get what i need anyway, my first instinct is to kneel and let people do whatever they want