#this is just pure serotonin right to the brain

[grunge-mermaid]

May or may not be watching Mika at Francofolies for the second time today

[nrdmssgs]

sub bottom Nikto?

Masterlist

Love, you find him a nice collar, and he will be searching for an engagement ring on the next morning.

TW: pure smut, no story, edging, orgasm denial.

It takes time, to discover that part of him. Nikto is well aware, what people await of such a beast, and he is happy to deliver. He is good at guiding, edging, punishing - you name it. But somewhere deep, there is another nature of his.

The nature, that makes him hope, that one day you won't ask nicely if you can fuck, oh no. Just tell him, toys don't get a choice, and use his body mercilessly.

And once you realize, Nikto has it in him, he craves to be forced and pampered, taken advantage of and taken care of, your game changes.

The first time you put him on his knees - Andre is a work of art. Dilated pupils, darkened blue irises, mouth open, ragged breaths, tongue running over dry lips. A man of his constitution could easily break you, but this one is at your feet the very next second after 'now be a good thing' leaves your lips.

He is so consumed with devotion to you, that poor thing barely hears your command to stop kissing your knees and licking his way up your thighs. It is only fair to teach him a lesson, isn't it? So you take his privilege of using his mouth by putting his balaclava on him and moving cloth over his lips.

"You keep not listening, and I will have to put the mask as well on you, mhm?" And he nods hastily, as if his silent answer would piss you off, should it come too late.

There is another trait of his, that you will soon discover, when you sit Nikto on a couch and edge him for a long time: he is vocal. Of course, you heard his grunts before, but he expressed half of his pleasure in other ways. Grabbing your hair or clawing into you - these and many more other little things helped him to stay more or less discreet...

But now? After you flooded his poor brain with serotonin so good, that he can't form a single thought? After his body, the one he trained to kill and break things, just shuts down, focusing only on the pleasurable sensations that you induce? After you prohibited him touching you? This swollen throbby mess is whimpering and moaning under your loving hands. Shameless and loud, but he just can help it, when you bring him this close to euphoria, put him in so deep.

"So desperate, so hard," your voice is making him high, "wouldn’t it feel so good to be inside me? Yeah, that’s what you want? If you just take a little more, and don’t come, I’ll let you."

And he clenches his teeth, bites down his tongue, squeezes his eyes shut - does everything in his power to just not come. Nikto can go for hours with you folded under him, but when you are riding him for the first time after you teased him so long? Comes fast, comes loads. He would be embarrassed if he had any introspection capacity now.

Nikto is no more a bundle of control, pain and cruelty that he usually is. All this is crossed out by your protectiveness, possessiveness, adoration and dominance. Your look is a blessing, your gestures are a grace, your touch and tone are his salvation.

He breaks the 'no touch' rule, when you ascend your body from from his veiny throbbing shaft.

"Please! I-I can give more, I will be good, fuck, please, just dont go yet! Chert, proshu tebya!*" His voice is shaky. Not a familiar purr, with which he seduced you earlier, but a throaty, ragged desperate whispers.

You freeze and smile. This absolute beast of a man - all at your mercy.

"You keep your hands behind your head, or I will have to tie you up, Andre." You feel his cock twitching at your words.

You pull his balaclava up, so that his mouth is free, and his eyes are covered now and guide him by the back of his head to face you, as you descend back and finally kiss him for the first time today. This horny animal is still hard, doesn't want a minute to catch a breath.

Maybe it's not right to encourage his disobedience, but right now you don't care.

Chert, proshu tebya! - Fuck, I'm begging you!

[sigmasoyboy]

Surely nothing in the world ever felt better than [THIS]

Was suggested on instagram to write from Gage's POV and thinking about how I would ever write from someone who's been essentially dog lobotomized actually got me thinking so hard I started writing. The formatting of this one is a reading nightmare but the never ending run-on sentence tightly packed into one block of text feels the most appropriate to a dog's inner thoughts so… You have to suffer for the sake of art™️

cw: ableist and misogynistic language, PTSD, panic attack, murder, vomit, loss of humanity through being genetically spliced with a dog

Right now there is only [RUNNING] and [PANTING] and the wind whipping your face and twigs digging into your paw pads and snapping under your weight and the sweat tickling the inside of your thigh as it rolls down the expanse of your (ever) hairless leg. You almost want to throw your hands down into the decaying grass and leaves to propel your body further but (something) keeps you anchored to your bipedal ways, your body knows it was never made for sprinting on all four but your body was also bent once and could probably be bent further all the way to the other side transhumanised so far the evolutionary path to break all knowns nomenclature and classification and leap from (human) to [DOG] just as you do out of the shrubbery as soon as your hear [YOUR NAME], toes skidding into the overgrown lawn as you halt, tongue hanging out dumbly trying as you might to bring moisture back into your bone dry mouth. The useless instincts you (forcefully) have inherited work against you but thankfully [HE!!!] turns on the garden hose [HE!!] uses to bath you with and fresh water springs out, splattering everywhere against your open mouth. There used to be a better way to drink but you (forgot) how so you chew at the air trying to catch this pesky pesky water into your mouth while getting drenched, you were hot anyway, running so so hot from all the excess dopamine secreted by your happy happy dumb brain, so easily pleased.

Surely nothing in the world ever felt better than [THIS]; it’s the 100th time you thought this exact thing today not with words or inner monologue only pure unadulterated stabs at your mesocorticolimbic circuit, things are only [GOOD] or [BAD] not in terms of the morals (you lacked) but in terms of [PLEASURE] and [PAIN], so simple and so good like quenching your thirst and moving your limbs and eating and shitting and nerve endings being stimulated by a [GOOD SCRATCH] just like [HE] is doing right now immediately replacing the serotonin from the water [HE] just shut off, not having a care in the world for how greasy your (hair) feels or the way you wildly shake off to dry yourself or the fact that you are (not) a dog at all. You wouldn’t get any of it anyway because all you understand now is [ANGRY] and [SOFT] tone so as long as [HE] coos at (you) softly [HE] can say anything and (you) would happily (giggle) and [RUB YOUR HEAD] against his big calloused hands even if he was (talking shit). You were liberated against your (will) and you are too dumb to realize it, of course you are why would you ever stop and try to think when you can just march alongside [HIM] like [HE TAUGHT] [YOU]] like a good stupid fuckass (dog) getting all [EXCITED] because you realize [HE] is walking towards the [KITCHEN] which can only mean any and all (doubt) or [FEAR] that’s desperately trying to join each others can be [SILENCED] by a motherfucking spoonfull of [PEANUT BUTTER HOLY SHIT] sticky and salty and obstructing your airway momentarily but thank goodness you still know how to breath through your (nose) while you smack your (lips) desperately trying to (get away from the [DELICIOUS TREAT] clawing at the leathery cushion with your splitting nails nerve endings stimulated by [HURT HURT HURT FUCK what did you do why were you bad why is this happening to you this wasn’t supposed to happen you weren’t supposed to get caught in the first place but the [BITC H] squealed and slipped through your fingers and now you’re the one being [GUD LA DET SLUTTE VÆR SÅ SNILL] you should’ve made a bigger hole and (fucked it) so [BAD] no one will ever be able to identify your whore bitch corpse you r eally fucked up this time you can barely breathe through any hole now in out in out in out head heavy with the weight of ([HUMAN CONSCIOUSNESS]) getting really really light so much so you don’t feel your (claws) slicing until the victim became unrecognizable aggravated [MASSACRE] of your (ultimate reality) now there’s only [DROOL] and a little bit of [VOMIT] and your clammy skin against the (cold old tiles) of the kitchen floor and [HIS] form above you [WARM] palm encircling almost your entire still trembling arm and (garbled speech) you can never [UNDERSTAND] again, it’s so [WARM] and (nice) your [TAIL] slaps the kitchen floor, beginning to unknot [HIS] brow as you can feel yourself (smiling) dumbly at [HIM]. And now there is only [PETTING] and [ROLLING ON THE FLOOR] with the sweet-acrid aroma of [PEANUT BUTTER] and [VOMIT] [HE] stops you from [LAPPING] just before your tongue touches it.

Surely nothing in the world ever felt better than [THIS].

[imaginespazzi]

Nivi!!! Since you are so diligently sticking to your schedule (you’re so inspiring babes), I thought I should at the very least try to get this review to you on time too! Imma just combine parts 5 & 6 in this one so apologies if gets too long. Also, I haven’t really had a chance to scroll and read through other people’s reviews for part 5 so I’m so sorry if I end up repeating what everyone else may have already said.

FIRST OF ALL, Back to December as the lyric reference for Part 5 was *chef’s kiss* - mainly because that’s gotta be one of my top Taylor songs of all time, ah the wistfulness 🥲

DREW cameo!! The only one with brain cells. Cause he’s right, they’re all stupid! (But we love them anyway).

“Please don’t get married Paigey,” Drew pleads, gripping his sister’s hand, “please.” ­– this really got me though. Poor Drew, like he never imagined he’d be having to witness his sister ever marry someone who wasn’t Azzi too! He just wanted his pookie back 🥺

Paige finding out about Azzi’s pregnancy through TikTok feels very on-brand lmao (ugh does that mean there were Olivia and Paige edits once upon a time 🥴), and them still commenting congratulations on each other’s post about the engagement and the pregnancy to keep up the friendly act killed me. Could. Not. Be. Me.

Katie and Paige interactions have my whole heart. Whenever I think about them, I always end up thinking about that immunity booster video so I’m glad it got the mention in part 5!

What is it with you and these damn phone calls, Nivi!! “You’re gonna be a wonderful wife P.” “You’re gonna be an amazing mom Az.” – once again, cue “and it would have been sweet, if it could have been me”. WELL IT COULD HAVE IF Y’ALL WEREN’T BEING STUPID (sorry, had to channel my inner Drew there).

“Please don’t speak in riddles. It’s 10 a.m and I’m sad,” Paige whines. She might be in her early thirties but there’s something about Katie Fudd that makes Paige feel like it’s okay to be a bit of a child. – Obsessed with this because I just feel like you perfectly captured their relationship with this line.

“You’re so goddamn dramatic Bueckers,” Katie rolls her eyes –so real for this cause Paige really was being dramatic af since Azzi left with Stephie. Standing on the porch for way-too-long just staring into the distance then breaking down in the fort and not moving for 3 hours. DRAMATIC. But like sad 😔

The comparison between Paige’s expression when talking about Stephie and Tim’s when he first met Azzi. I was waiting for something like this! My heart.

Steph (old) cameo! I’ll allow it, cause despite my hatred for the Warriors, I do loooove that man.

“What defense can a 5 year old play…” – idk why but I had a good chuckle at this, I just love when you pull these one-liners, the comedic timing is impeccable.

Katie with some GREAT lines too.

Pleaseee, not the UNCLE TWIN and TWIN NIECE 😆 I knoww Steph (man) loves the fact that his goddaughter, who’s prolly gonna go on and be a Golden State legend herself, is named after him.

I know it’s super cute, but I do be cracking up a lil everytime Stephie and Paige reunite cause it’s always so goddamn dramatic. Like girly pops please, it’s barely been 24 HOURS 😭

Yeah, Paige gonna be SPOILING her queen and their princess forever.

THEY KISSED.

I may or may not always let out an undignified squeal when I see a high school era flashback. Like those are always my favourites fr. You just never fail to make them feel so nostalgic.

Their first kiss, damn Paige really been a lover girl since 16 huh 🥹 Also the transition from their first kiss to what could be their last first kiss was perfection!

Although, idk if the “slow” that Katie had in mind meant kissing already but hey, they’re moving!

Look, as long as we get at least one cute family scene with our fave trio then that’s all the serotonin I really need for the day (week) and the scene with the flowers and the car seat was exactly that, pure serotonin.

Paige and the Fudds reunion 🥰

Stephie really is ride-or-die for her perfect Miss Buecks!

“Dumbapples” – LMAOOOO sometimes the brain cells just don’t always be braincelling.

And they finally get a redo on that sleepover, where no one leaves, at least not until pancakes have been served.

What’s next?

I’ve been thinking about the break-up too much- like when in 2025? Was it during the season? So before the natty?? But like there’s no way you could be that cruel, Nivi! You couldn’t have them finally winning the natty only for them to be heartbroken while doing so?

Or worse, have them win the natty and make P think she’s got everything she could ever want only for that to come crashing down not long after??

But like definitely pre-draft night maybe?? I guess that would make sense with Azzi overthinking things and worrying about being left behind? Sorry, am just thinking out loud atp!

But like were there already cracks forming even earlier in that year?? Cause if so, I’m curious about Paige’s proposal and the timing of it hmmm. My braincells are attempting to be braincells.🧠

I’m still awaiting that Drew and Azzi reunion cause Drew being so heartbroken that he really tried to stop the wedding all by himself hurt me. I can imagine for Drew too, how much he probably looked to Paige and Azzi as his ideal of what a relationship and love is, only for them to fall apart as well. Plus seeing how close irl Drew is to the Fudds makes me big sad for GH Drew 😞

I can’t wait for Coach P and Player Stephie dynamics!! The favouritism is really not gonna be subtle no matter how hard Paige tries 😃

Soooo, Part 6 was suspiciously too fluffy ya know, I feel like you’re just setting us up. Giving us a taste of joy, only to rip it from us next chapter. I’m on evil writer Nivi watch.

Favourite lines/quotes:

“Did I know that my granddaughter goes to her godfather’s special camp for the sport that her mother plays and she’s obsessed with?”

Because the view in front of them is beautiful but Paige’s eyes are on Azzi and she’s staring at her as if the view is nothing in comparison. – side note: this line and this scene made me nostalgic for the stargazing scene in the UCLA fic 🥹

Alright bestie, this review is a biiig boi but I thought I owed you for being late with the part 5 review so hopefully this makes up for it a little! Also, I’ll prolly be late in reviewing the next one if (when 🤞) it’s out next week cause life is lifing so I’m sorry in advance 😭

Thank you as always for keeping us warm and fed! Hope you’re doing well btw!! Is the baby fever still at a high? Cause I was at the park with my friend and her 1-yr old the other day and omg he was being the sweetest little bean ever and the baby fever was FEVERING but then I realised I’m a baby (adult) too so I promptly brought the fever back to reality 😅

Love ya Nivi, have a great week ahead bestie 💗

-🙋‍♀️

BABES HELLOOO <3 I've been waiting for your thoughts!

This whole fic is very Back to December coded and it's one of my top 5s too and it just fit so well with chapter 5

#FreeDrewBueckersFromDumbassPaigeyAndPookie my poor little man was traumatized and they need to make it up to him immediately

I LOVE KATIE FUDD. And she just gives such entertaining chaotic mom energy and I feel like especially with Paige, she really keep that girl humble (and holds her when she needs it)

The 1 references galore because while I won't subject y'all to an actual depressing fic, I simply can't stop myself from adding the vibes

LMAO Steph is so universally loved I kinda adore that man and he'll be making an appearance again at some point I think.

Listen Stephie and Paige are the definition of matching each other's freak except it's matching each other's dramatics like they're gonna run into each other's arms like they haven't seen each other in years every damn time

Katie tried to nudge them and didn't realize all these idiots needed was a tap to literally full-speed a head (well with some breaks of course)

I cackled writing dumbapples ngl

The marriage proposal is definitely before the draft...that's all you're getting lol

Y'all think Azzi's guilty now when no one's even saying anything to her, just wait for Drew Bueckers and his way with words :)

I am also very excited for more Curry Camp scenes!

I don't think anyone loves or understand the stargazing the scene the way you do babes and I appreciate it <3

Ah lovie, review whenever you can. Even if it's months and month later, I will still be just as excited to read your thoughts!

The baby fever is in fact still higkey baby fever-ing and I don't know how and when it'll stop but I'm not even really trying to stop it.

[wolfram-but-art]

Bruh the way you draw the mercs is SO skrunkly omlllll

(Bro I love engie sm and your way of drawing him is just PURE SEROTONIN RIGHT IN THE BRAIN)

ahhhh!!! ty!!!!!!! also Dell... he's so silly i love him <3

[writing-positivelyexisting]

Across The Holonet

The Bad Batch. Tech/Reader. | writing-positivelyexisting🫧

For the 100 followers celebration, I give you this fluffy Tech/Reader! Thank you guys! <3

Walking through your apartment door, you immediately kick off your torturous heels into the small pile of other shoes in the entrance. A sigh of relief escapes your lips, feeling the cool tile floor sink its teeth into your bare feet, and your shoulders slump slightly forward now that no one important would be looking at you. Yes, the comfy confines of your apartment is your own little safe haven and you were a-okay with it.

You toss your keys onto your small dining table that sat in its nook by the balcony and an all too familiar beep from your data pad calls to you. A smile comes to your features and the excitement in your stomach grows.

You pull it out with earnestness, your smile ever growing when you read the name and the text that came with it.

Tech: I apologize for my delayed response, but here’s why you are incorrect:

The concept of “love” is purely subjective. Any “scientific” findings can hardly be attributed as fact. “Love” is merely a concept, a fallacy. A phenomenon, if you so wish.

Now, to be honest, what this man (whom you do not actually know) said broke your heart, yet set it ablaze all the same. He did have some points, but you were going to argue to hell and back on this subject. It was kind of your livelihood.

YN: I won’t say that you are incorrect, that love is subjective. However, on a physiological level we do experience “love”. Our whole body is included when this happens, all five of our senses! There’s stages to love and even found chemistry!

You bite on your bottom lip, anxiously watching his little thought bubble illuminate as he is typing back a response.

Tech: That’s interesting you say that. Please, do explain in further detail, YN. I’m most curious about this research.

Thank the stars and Maker you live alone. The pitchy school-girl squeal you emit as you begin rapidly typing away your explanations would have surely gotten you some sideways glances. You find yourself so ecstatic to share your knowledge on romance, you are a romantic! A hopeless one maybe, but a romantic still.

You skip over to your plush bed, laying down and smiling as you send multiple texts in a row. You really are passionate about this, although the true science of love isn’t your main focus. No, it isn’t about science for you. It’s about literature. The emotions that words can have. How one can convey just so much devotion with one singular sentence!

Still, you decided to dabble in the science of love just a little. And thank the stars again because it’s proving useful right about now.

YN: Our brains release a magnitude of chemicals such as dopamine, serotonin, norepinephrine, and the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin reinforce the attachment a couple has that makes the relationship last!

Tech: I do see how that is accurate. The chemicals you listed are definitely considered “happy” and therefore could explain “love” on a more complex level. You have done some extensive research on this matter. Is this your profession?

YN: No it’s not. I study romantic literature. Kinda a hopeless romantic, if you will. I’m a really big sucker for the “found family” trope. Do you read any literature like this?

Tech: Well, you’ve surely impressed me with the science even if it isn’t your expertise. I do read from time to time, however it is more about news articles, history texts, and manuals for all sorts of technology. What is the “found family” trope? It interests me.

You giggle to yourself. Tech reads manuals? You shake your head with a smile at this nerd on your screen, typing an answer to his question.

YN: “Found family” is when a group of unrelated characters create a sort of pseudo family based on shared or similar experiences. Usually the characters aren’t related by blood but sometimes there are characters who are maybe half siblings or adopted.

YN: Why I like this plot device so much is because I dream of having my own family someday. For now, I’ll experience my dream through fiction. What about you, Tech? Do you want to experience creating your own family?

On the receiving end of your text, Tech is stumped. He can feel his heart rate increase as he thinks about how to answer.

Tech: …that is a difficult question. It depends on what you mean. I do not think that I have ever really understood the typical emotional connections that most people have to the concept of a family. Due to reasons, of course. However, I would like to find someone…someone that I can connect with on a deep level, who I can share my life with. Do you know what I mean?

You stare in wonder at his message. What did he mean by “I do not think that I have ever really understood the typical emotional connections that most people have to the concept of family”? Surely this man has a mother and father, at the very least? No matter how many questions you have for him, you don't want to pry and make him uncomfortable.

YN: A significant other, I believe, is the concept you're looking for. And, yes. I also would like to find a significant other to share life's endeavors and to grow with.

Tech: I see. Yes, that is the concept that I am searching for. I find it difficult to comprehend this concept because I am, by nature, a rather independent and self-sufficient person. I am not used to feeling a need for someone else.

Tech: However, I would like to find someone who can help me to understand how to feel these things, if you know what I mean? I would love to help someone grow, just as I would want someone to help me to grow.

Somehow you feel like time has stopped. Reading what Tech said about wanting to find that someone kicks your heartbeat into overdrive. Your breathing is slightly out of rhythm but you feel absolutely fine. Then you close your eyes and shake your head.

You don’t know this man beyond your screen. You met him a week ago by pure chance. He had responded to a little snippet you posted on the holonet and it jostled your emotions enough for you to respond back. You and him have been talking since. Primarily, and personally, you find his comments intelligent and his conversation is so stimulative! Your friends that you know closely don’t have this kind of communication like Tech. It’s a nice change of pace, truly.

YN: I understand completely, Tech.

Tech: And how about yourself? What are your thoughts on this concept? What would you say is your definition of a perfect significant other?

Tech: To me, my perfect significant other would be someone who is willing to accept me for the man that I am, and who has some of my core traits, such as logic, independence, and an unwillingness to rely on someone else. I would like a significant other who can help to offset my shortcomings, as I would help them with theirs. I believe that such a person would be a perfect match for me. What about you, YN? What traits do you favor?

This man continues to leave you stunned. You really didn’t expect him to give you a full description of what he wants in a partner! You situate yourself to sit on your bed, no longer feeling like this conversation is lazy. It seems like he’s actually moving away into a deeper conversation with you. Does he want to get to know you more… personally?

You take a deep breath, trying very hard on getting a normal pattern again. You reread his message and figure you will simply answer his questions.

YN: I favor a man who's honest, independent, logical, and patient. I expect him to be caring, wanting to understand me for me. Who will not judge me of my past, but will help me on my journey to become a better version of myself. Of course, I would like him to enjoy some things I enjoy, but ultimately I would love for him to be different so that we may be able to learn from each other.

The rapid beating of your heart returned. There is something about this conversation that is seriously so… exciting. You can’t quite explain why, but there’s a suspicion rising in your chest. It’s subtle but there. You find yourself nibbling on your knuckle as you wait for Tech to respond.

Tech: That is an excellent choice! I am quite a firm believer myself in the idea that differences are what can create a good relationship. My belief is that if two people in a relationship are too similar, there becomes an increased risk of conflict.

Tech: Having the two people within a relationship being different allows the two people to work well together. I believe that I could work well with someone who has a good mix of similarity and differences. I think you are quite wise, YN. Would you say that you are happy with your life at the moment?

His last question makes you raise an eyebrow. No one’s asked that before. Are you happy? You lower your data pad into your lap and take a moment to reflect.

You scan your room, seeing this place you’ve built and made your home brings a small smile to your face. You think about the job you have. You love reading and writing, getting to share all sorts of information about love with others fills you with a warm feeling. You’ve got a close circle of friends which you see a few times a month and you wouldn’t trade them for anyone else. Your upbringing was normal, so no complaints there.

Though, your dating life could be better. You weren’t really dating around but you know if someone offered you wouldn’t say no. This part of your life you’ve been letting it work itself out.

You bring your data pad back into your hands and type your answer.

YN: I am content with it. Although, I believe there is something missing. I know, however, I will find what it is in due time. Maybe it’s the lack of romance in my own life… What is your opinion on finding a significant other?

Reading your message, Tech tilts his head and looks away from the screen. Your question is a little daunting to him. He’d never really thought about it.

As a newly runaway soldier of the Republic he could probably try and form his own opinion on a partner. Though, he wondered if being an ex-soldier — and now renegade of the Empire — would be an appropriate lifestyle to harbor a relationship. Still… a man can still hope, right?

Tech: I see. Yes, I do believe that you have a good outlook on it. It can be difficult to know what it is that is missing, but that does not mean that you cannot work towards finding what it is that you are missing. I am content with my life as well. Perhaps not fully happy, but that does not mean that I cannot become happy.

Tech: As to your question, I think that finding a significant other should happen when the time is right. It is important to be patient, and to look for someone who best fits your needs as a person. Would you agree?

YN: I do agree! My father used to say “patience yields focus”. I really do try and apply it everywhere in my life and so far it’s proven useful. I’m glad we can see eye-to-eye about this, Tech. I think, especially now, many people are desperate to find love on their own.

Tech: I share the same sentiment. We seem to understand each other.

Tech: Unfortunately, I do not have any more time to further our conversation today. I would very much like for this to continue, however, and of course that is if you would prefer to continue as well.

YN: I would like nothing more than to continue our conversation later. I understand life can get busy, so shoot me a message whenever you find time again.

Tech: Thank you. I will.

You put your data pad down again and let out a breath like you were under water. What was that conversation? You place a hand over your heart and can feel it violently pumping against your ribs. Shutting your eyes with a small smile you recognized this feeling all too well. The fluttering in your stomach was as tell-tale a sign as any. Yes, you have developed a crush. A crush on someone over the holonet. A crush on someone who happened to comment on your writing. A crush on Tech.

You chuckle softly to yourself. This is silly. Still, you’ve learned not to hold back your emotions and simply let them flow through you. Decidedly, you are not planning on doing anything with this crush. You were going to watch things play out for themselves. Whatever happens happens.

word count: 2,198.

beta read by: @beating-a-dead-plot I LOVE YOU 💛 mwah, mwah!

tag list: @dangraccoon @i-am-the-geek-overlord @kixs-husband @ihaventpickedausername

I know this can have a second (if not more) part to it, so let me know with comments if you want a second part!! Love you guys, thank you all again for 100 followers!!! <3

[screamingtofu]

Friend! Pass the happy ☺️ When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the most recent people in your notifications! ✨ 💜

FRIEND!!!

There are many things that make me happy

- Bees (no surprises there, I get very excited and travelled to Tasmania purely on the chance I would get to see bumblebees for the first time)

- When I'm talking to someone and they're about to launch into a story and they go "OK so" right beforehand. It's like a activation phrase for the serotonin because I know they're gonna be talking about something they're passionate about and I like seeing the little spark in their eyes

- Hardspace Shipbreaker, I have never had a game hook me so thoroughly. Just slowly moving through space, systematically disassembling derelict spaceships and unionising with the other workers against a corrupt corporation while listening to dnd podcasts took up way to much of my time. Hits all the good brain buttons

- Estradot estradiol 100mg patches, I cannot contain how much starting hrt has been an absolute godsend to my mental health, like genuinely wild to think about how much dysphoria was messing me up and everyday I get to slap the titty patch on me is better than the last

- This stray cat that's been visiting us the last week or so that we're slowly trying to kidnap so we can take them to the vet to see if they have an owner or not and if no, then oh darn we get another cat

[astrobei]

🎶✨when u get this, list 5 songs u like to listen to, publish. then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (positivity is cool)🎶✨

omg hi parker !! i listen to so many songs of so many genres so i’ll just do a few that have been on repeat lately :^) my new year’s resolution is to be less awful at answering asks so i’m starting strong w this one LOL

i’ve been listening to this on loop ever since the midnight countdown bc 1. i’m writing a mini fic that has to do w this. kind of. u will See. and also because this song is just pure serotonin in soundwave form to me and i could listen to it for hours without getting bored !! a classic for good reason if i had to make a playlist of songs to exclusively listen to forever then this would be on it

also have been listening to this a lot the past few days (+ throughout 2022) and i’m currently playing out a byler edit in my head that i’ll never make but. whatever. idk! i don’t listen to this album or harry styles as an artist very much but i love this song in an actually indescribable way there’s just something about it that clicks in my head !! maybe the beat maybe the lyrics maybe the melody maybe the Everything of it all. just a song i can put on loop for hours and never get tired of!!

this is a song that makes me want to like. drive through the city at nighttime w my roof down and my best friend in the passenger seat. literally love the strokes so so much and the guitar and the drums in this one are just chefs kiss to me! i’m a sucker for a good guitar + drums pairing. reveling in my male manipulator moment whenever the strokes come on (+ the way he says “moscow 1972” just tickles my brain so good)

GOD. i have so many feelings about billie marten and idk how to articulate them all but this song is literally like extra strength advil in auditory form. it’s so soothing and the acoustic guitar in this makes me wish i could sing so bad !! i listen to this + the whole album when i’m feeling tired or exhausted or stressed and i swear it flushes any pain right out of my body. would recommend to anyone no matter what genres you’re into !!

ok listen. the lyricism in this song. every single line is like a punch straight to the gut oh my god. god rest my soul! i miss who i used to be! the tomb won’t close! stained glass windows in my mind! i regret you all the time! I CANT LET THIS GO I FIGHT WITH YOU IN MY SLEEP THE WOUND WONT CLOSE I KEEP ON— [gunshots] anyways. yeah. favorite song off of midnights so psychoanalyze me as u please but this is going to stay on repeat through 2023 for Sure

[apoptoses]

DA here, reporting for duty 🫡 just finished reading Angle of Incidence and dear LORD talk about committing to the bit!! And by this I’m of course talking about Armand playing doctor with a type of intensity worthy of a former theater director. The theater kid JUMPED TF OUT. Such perfect characterization. Despite the tags (which really shouldn’t stop anyone from reading this), it very much felt like quintessential Devil’s Minion. The dynamics, how they played off each other perfectly, all the time. Unhinged and weird yet intimate and tender, always wanting to probe deeper into each other’s depths (quite literally at times). It’s always been about intimacy. Honestly I went into this not exactly knowing what to expect and even though I felt like I could physically feel Daniel’s discomfort at times (which is all on you and your amazing skills as a writer) I was 100% into it all the way through. “How he would make it worse, Daniel didn’t know”, I am Daniel, Daniel is ME lmao I was in pain!!! Armand going off on his bladder rant like he had no fucking clue Daniel had to pee sent me over the edge lmao what a little shit. “He played dumb so beautifully sometimes” sajdhksasdja pulling the puss in boots face in the middle of an ultrasound I CAN’T!!! “And you’re being a difficult patient, sitting here and swearing at me”, Daniel asking Armand if they could take the speculum home lmfaooo I could quote this all night long, I really could. Banger after banger. You truly did it again, took me on a whole psychosexual journey in the unlikeliest of ways. I would definitely be up for reading something like this again in the future!!! 🥹 P.S. Like Sugar? Pure serotonin to the brain ugh they are SO stupid in love. Despite the obsessive, unhinged nature of their relationship, you know it’s cute shit like this that keeps them going back to each other time and time again, till the rest of eternity. Loved it so much ❤️

Ahh dungeon anon, I was so curious to see what you'd think about this one and I'm so happy it didn't disappoint!

Armand is such a little drama club kid. I loved getting to let him relive his theater days and do a little roleplay, which I think was more fun for him than being on stage would ever be. He gets to roleplay with Daniel, his favorite test subject, and man he commits to the bit! He's so fun and so scary in that way.

I love that you squirmed right along with Daniel, haha that's the best kind of compliment, knowing the reader felt exactly what the character was feeling. But that's why I'm liking writing harder kinks with them in specific. It's not about the action itself, it's about the trust and intimacy and learning to let your guard down to let someone see all of you. You could sub in any kink here and give Daniel the same experience, and that's why it's so them. They're weird, they're in love, they'll do anything to get close!

Armand really is such a little bastard in this one haha He knows exactly what he's doing and he's a hypocrite! Telling off Daniel for being difficult and dramatic when he's the most difficult and dramatic little beast in town! No wonder Daniel drinks, living with this guy.

Daniel asking to take the speculum home was a favorite thing for me. Like the reveal that he loved doing something he hated the experience of just because it reaffirmed to him his trust for Armand? Huge! And I think inside Armand wonders if Daniel only puts up with this shit for the blood so having Daniel ask that made him feel good too. It confirms for him that Daniel does love to suffer at his hand.

I'm so happy you loved it!! I loved writing it, I want to take them to difficult places more often. And having the reader trust me like Daniel trusts Armand? Huge ego stroke, I feel so happy!

(and I love that you loved the cute shit too- that was fun to write, just pure sweetness and sharing an experience. Armand makes Daniel fuckin cry with a speculum and then kisses his slushie mouth on the steps- that's the duality of them, they get the full range of experience together. I love them so much!)

Thank you for the super sweet message as always ♥

[studentparxie]

Welcome to the intro!

Hey everyone! This blog is for my ENL-317 digital writing class. So random parxies, this is your warning to be as respectful as possible! By the way, Parxie is the official fanbase name originally coined by fans. Awsten then just played along with it and began using it as an insult to his fans. Anyways, in this blog, I am basically teaching you all as much lore as I can without getting too explicit in lore. Some topics I will be covering are how they formed, leaked songs, Otto Wood is a serial killer, Intellectual Property, and why they don't have a bass player. I will also do fun little lyrics and song analysis, and just overall fun content like Awsten being Awsten.

Some fun facts about me is that I have been a fan of Waterparks for about 7 years, since late 2016. I've seen them live like 9 times and met them twice! Contrary to popular belief and Awsten's internet presence, their actually really sweet and kind people. I love all their albums, but I have to say my favorite has to be Greatest Hits, baby. It's like so diverse and fun to listen to, there's so much depth and layers to each and every song! Speaking of songs, I would say my current favorite song is Brainwashed. That song isn't even out yet and it has a chokehold on me. I can't get it out of my head. Well, my favorite officially released song is The Secret Life of Me. The song sounds like pure serotonin, it itches the brain just right.

Whether you're my professor, classmates, or just some random parxie, I genuinely hope you enjoy this blog! This blog is meant to be educational, provide Entertainment (like the album), and overall just be a fun project for me to enjoy talking about my hyper-fixation.

[willyonilly]

*scrambles in here*

HOWDY HI!! I just gotta say that I LOVE your honse merc designs, and how they fit so damn well with your style!! Especially Engi, I find it so goddamn adorable that he’s a pony, and not only does it fit his height, I think it fits his character really well too!! It itches a part of my brain just right and gives pure serotonin!! I love it so much!! X]

And I am HERE for more science party honse content!! If I may, I might also draw your honses too!! (And credit/tag ya ofc!). I haven’t drawn a challenging animal such as a horse in so long and I’d love to them for practice!! :D

I absolutely love this content sm and I would love to see more!!! X]c

AGHHHHH THANK YOU i am literally working on more science party horse as we speak... this makes me so joyoys :) AND FEEL FREE TO DRAW THEM this is an open invitation to everyone in the world YOU CAN DRAW THE HORSES!!!!! it is ok 🫶🫶🫶🫶

[paellaplease]

as someone who's been subconsciously and not so subconsciously craving a tragic timeloop au revali fic for a very long time, every chapter i read of liberosis is like pure serotonin being injected into my blood like ???????????????????? your writing is beautiful??? your pacing is phenomenal ???? the character development????? capturing revali's personality so well ???? the slowburn is causing me physical pain but i've just finished binging every chapter that's been released and i'm about to do it again and read all your other fics too because i'm addicted now and it's your fault for making your writing so fucking immersive holy shit ????? the scene where the reader first encounters nayru ?????????????????? like what the fuck????? that should be illegal ????? sorry for the spami am just feeling a lot of things and i am going to make it your problem because it is because who the fuck gave you the right to take a one word prompt and craft a fucking masterpiece like what what hwthwathwahtwhtwhathwthwathwthwaht all my neurons are shortwiring and i am emotional and slipping back into my revali phase and ughGRHEUGHhHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this story jusjt tickles that fanfic itch in that part of my mind that craves an amazing concept AND amazing execution AND amazing writing ahHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH????

This ask is incredible. My heart is so full! Goodness! Thank you so much for reading liberosis, immersing yourself in the story, and complimenting my writing through such a thoughtful and funny and wonderful message! Not gonna lie I walked around my room reading this whole thing out loud to myself because if I kept it in my head I would have just combusted from how happy I was feeling!

The time loop is one of my ultimate favourite tropes. It’s dramatic, and ugly, and bittersweet, and weird! Taking the reader through each life and exploring their ever changing dynamic with Revali and the people around them came with its own set of challenges that I eventually had a lot of fun figuring out! Revali is also such a great character with so many hidden layers and potential to grow—like I just can’t get enough of him lol. Hearing that people actually enjoy the way I interpret his personality makes me so glad to be part of this botw community and I wish my brain worked faster so I could write more HAHA!

Spam is amazing! Please don’t apologise for the spam. I am Living for this message. The keysmash itself is SO NICE 🥹 THANK YOU! ❤️

[space-blue]

🌻

Hi Anon, thanks for the ask!

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

Nothing makes me want to give up on writing altogether. It's a very deeply ingrained hobby. It scratches a very particular itch. And fanfic especially is just pure reward when people interact with the work.

I've stopped writing stories though when readership seemed to drop off a cliff. I can get insecure about that, if it seems like everyone walked away from a once busy fic. I would probably be more keen to persevere if I didn't have a million WIPs. There's always something I could update that has actual readers waiting.

What makes me keep going is a mix of pure brainrot (I certainly don't write mega niche & pairings where I'm the only writer in the tag for popularity) and the reward of interaction with the rest of fandom. Being part of the ecosystem… getting feedback on my writing, knowing I gave readers the feels… It's pure serotonin and dopamine inject right through my reptilian brain.

[enjomo-arch]

Ace suffers from narcolepsy which is basically a sleeping disease. He finds it hard to stay awake for long periods of time which causes him to fall asleep suddenly and randomly. He sometimes experiences muscle tone which is basically caused by strong emotions such as anger, sadness and excitement but most of the times laughter is the strongest case. There's no cure to this disease and since Ace doesn't really have medication for this to at least keep the symptoms in check it appears pretty frequently in his case. Most of the times ace falls asleep while eating because, when the meal is rich in carbohydrates and protein which are essential to build up strength he gets an uptake of tryptophan from the protein and then an increase of serotonin. Eating also causes blood sugar levels to rise, which can lead to a decrease in energy and the more he feels tired the easier it is for his narcolepsy to trigger suddenly.

In his case the excessive daytime sleepiness makes him of course fall asleep in random moments or even when he's bored he'll take a nap which can be either few minutes or last around half a hour. After waking up Ace doesn't feel much change in his health because the nap makes him feel refreshed but his body experiences symptoms such as how focused he is. Ace can be very clumsy after waking up right of the bet and his focus is scattered everywhere so it takes him time to regain alert about the situation and last place where he fell asleep.

Sometimes he can even continue performing a task while being asleep for example he can eat while sleeping and he doesn't remember a thing when he wakes up. It's the subconscious reaction to continue what the brain signals sent through his body even if his senses are closed off due to sleep.

This disease also comes up with cataplexy which cannot be controlled by ace. Its a sudden loss of muscle tone and most often it happens when he's feeling positive emotions such as excitement or pure joy but can also be caused by strong enough negative feelings. Basically what can happen is that when he laughs his head can suddenly drop without control or threw back. Symptoms like these last for few minutes and are very rare to experience but when it happens it's nothing to panic about, he regains his muscle control few minutes after.

Another thing is REM (rapid eye movement) during sleeping which is basically a time when dreaming happens. For normal people they enter the REM state around a hour after falling asleep, in ace's case he enters this state about 15 minutes after suddenly falling asleep and it can happen any time of the day. This may sometimes cause hypnopompic hallucinations next time before he tries to naturally fall asleep during the night. It causes him to see things that don't exist for example a stranger standing in the room with him which makes ace either walk around the room, shuffle things around, step outside to get rid of the uneasy feeling and since his guard is up most of the times he usually wakes up people around him because he's just being noisy and loud.

[merianmoriarty]

Yarncraft as Stim

So!  Yarncraft involves a lot of repetitive motion, can involve lots of textures, can involve noises, and has visible progress, all things that can affect your serotonin production.  Yay!  I do not recommend super-cheap acrylics, as they feel scratchy even when washed and most yarncraft works best if you only wash after the item has been completed.  Pound of Love skeins are pretty nice, as are most fake fur yarns and baby yarns.  T-shirt yarns can also be lovely, though they can be stretchy and create challenges when working with them.

In my case, I hoard yarn--I see a color that I fall in love with, or feel a texture that I need in my life, and I have to buy it, even if I have no plan on how to use it.  Much of the time, I don’t even keep the finished product; I often gift scarves, hats, and blankets purely because there was a color or texture I felt compelled to work with.  So I gradually work my way through my hoard with something that calms my mind more than scrolling my phone or reading and is a little easier to physically push away if I find myself slipping into hyperfocus.

Yarncraft has stopping points built-in.  You finish a row, or a color block, or a leaf, or a granny square, and that’s the end of a step or task.  Now your underqualified/overworked little brain-executive can be nudged into starting a new task, even if it’s just the next row, or color, or flower, or square.  For me, I find that it eases my anxiety about things like task-start-delay and task-conflation, and even makes it easier for me to complete and switch tasks for a little while afterward.  “I finished a row.  Now I brush my teeth.”  “I finished a color.  Now I drink my coffee.”

If you are able to use sharp objects safely, embroidery and cross-stitch will let you experience smooth textures in the needle and floss, and cross-stitch will additionally give you rougher or more rigid textures in your base fabric.  Embroidery can be fiddly, though, and may be frustrating, especially as a starter craft.  By contrast, cross-stitch can run a whole gamut of challenge level depending on your ability to transcribe maps and distinguish colors, but the overall technique is very simple and extremely repetitive (a good one for think-a-little/stop-thinking/think-a-little-more).  Since you’re passing the needle in and out of fabric, you’re not necessarily in contact with the needle for the entirety of the task, which can be a definite boon if you need to put the piece down suddenly, but undoing a mistake almost always requires snipping, which may contribute to anxiety.  Task-breaks in these are more fluid and the steps may have unpredictable duration; you may need to set timers for yourself to prevent hyperfocus.

Knitting and crochet both have a wide range of sizes and stitches to let you do a more fiddly task (if you need intense focus to relax) or a less fiddly task (if you need mindless repetition to relax).  Metal knitting needles can make sliding or clicking sounds for gentle auditory stim, and bamboo knitting needles give a velvety sensation in the hands when they slide together.  Blankets made on big hooks or needles build up quickly even with simple stitches, so if you thrive on visible progress, I recommend learning basics like Moss Stitch and Grass Stitch to work bulky yarns on hooks or needles size M and higher.  Bigger hooks and needles are also gentler on disabled hands--when I’m having a bad pain day or I’m losing some motor control, there’s no way I can work with a small set of needles.  I typically have at least two projects in progress:  one smaller and more complicated for things like gift-giving, challenging myself, or focus; one larger and simpler for pure repetition.  In conjunction with that, I hold my yarn on the left but work on the right, so all the exciting parts of crochet are performed with my right hand while all the exciting parts of knitting are performed with my left, which gives me more options when one hand is less coordinated or in more pain on a given day.  Knitting and crochet are also easier to undo without being destructive--if you make a mistake, you can unwind the work (quite far, unless you had a change in yarn), and then it can be put away without visible errors which might otherwise cause anxiety or distraction.

[meowz-on-you]

WELCOME!!!

This is my humble art blog! I also have a personal blog that's @meowmeow-meow

I'm mostly a furry artist! What can I say? Anthro animals give my creature brain serotonin =3

About Me!

Need to know Info

Name? Oliver!

Pronouns? He/It/She/Kitty/Cat/Zomb/Rot!

Age? What are you a cop? In all seriousness tho. My age is old enough to be a senior in high school. That's all your getting =3

DNI? Idk pedophiles and bigots ig? And my ex lmao. These things never work lol. Just like dont be a judgmental dick and you're good to chill here =3

Stupid Stuff that's just fun

Favorite color? Ourple💜✨️

Favorite Animal? Florida Panther -w-

Favorite music? Gaze upon the playlist of every single one of my favorite songs from every band i chornically listen to. More being added everyday =3

Favorite Game? Even tho I'm a massive fnaf fan, it's actually this cute little platformer called "Cats are Liquid" It's pretty difficult and I love it! [And also Do Not Take This Cat Home is good too!!!]

Favorite Movie? Litterally any of the Studio Ghibli movies

Favorite TV Show? You know this bitch loves Gravity Falls!

Fandoms

Active in? Furry, Fnaf, and Colt! Expect to see alot of art and aus for these things lol

Inactive in? *inhales* Batim, Miraculous, Pikmin, Strange Men Series, Baldis Basics, Content SMP, Sucker For Love, The Owl House, Sonic, and Power Pills! I'll draw fanart for these from time to time dw! It's just not the main thing imma draw

What to expect from me?

Pure 2000s-2010s cringe insanity, hurt comfort [if i get off my ass and finally draw some damn angst], LOTS of Aus, and a LOT of self-inserting. I enjoy shit by forcibly shoving myself into the narrative =3

Anything else?

Well since I'm a furry I gotta have a fursona right? Ofc I do!

Also a Ponysona!

Also art of me!

Thats pretty much it!

I hope you enjoy your time browsing my blog! =3