#this is just me projecting as a ren simp lmao

[skullsramen]

everything i didn’t say.

summary: The day before Ren was to go back home, Goro wrote him a letter expressing all his emotions and everything he ever wanted to tell him but never had the chance to due to their unfortunate situation. This is everything he didn't say. 

a/n: hi! this piece was inspired by robbie daymond’s stream a month ago. he was asked by to sign a print answering the question “what would akechi say to akira/joker before the end?” and robbie answered with “we could have been great together” and it just made me feel all the feelings and then this piece was born. i really enjoyed writing this! hope you like it!!

pairing - ren amamiya/goro akechi

word count - 868

warnings - one mention of guns and killing but it’s just mild. also one use of bullshit and that’s about it. 

————————————

3/19, Sunday

Ren,

We could have been great together. 

I can only wish that we had more time. If we had met a few years back, I just know. I know that you with your overflowing charisma, you would have prevented me, you would have been the driving force that would have caused me to rethink everything. You would have stopped me from going down that point of no return. 

I could have lived my entire life as Goro Akechi. No trivial debates on morality, no working for Shido, not even an ounce of regret or vengeance in my body. The Detective Prince wouldn’t exist. If only we had time on our sides.

But, I guess time has its favorites, doesn’t it? I was never one of them. 

But you were. You came to Tokyo, became a Phantom Thief, met your friends, and then you had the nerve to waltz into my life like the showman you are. It was all perfect timing. You could have been shipped off to a different part of the country when you were put on probation. You and your class could have arrived at the TV Station on another date, one when I wouldn’t have been filming. But no, time had other plans. You just had to meet me and utterly ruin my life. Perfect. 

One would say that fate is the one to blame here. But, fate determines if something is bound to happen. On the other hand, time determines whether or not you are there to experience it. And you, you were there that day and you made it known to everyone, especially to me. 

It’s all because of you that I feel things, do you know that? You would smile when one of your friends tells some idiotic quip I will never understand, and it makes my chest physically hurt. You smile and it makes me want to do anything in my power to see it again. How pathetic is that?

But what’s even more of a joke is on that day I met you, I had a feeling. I had a feeling that you were going to utterly ruin me and put a wrench in my plans. Do you really think I had no idea that you knew I was the one behind all the psychotic breakdowns and mental shutdowns? I knew you were going to change the way I perceive the world. I knew you were going to be the reason that when I hold a gun and my finger settles on the trigger, ready to end someone’s life, I will actually hesitate. You did that, Ren. And I let you. 

I would never admit it to a soul, not even to you, but you did change me. When we’re together, it all makes sense. It wasn’t a lie when I told you that whenever I’m with you, I am given the opportunity to just live as Goro Akechi. When I’m with you, every little thing falls away. The admirers vying for even a second of my attention, the nagging voice in my head to get right back on track with Shido’s orders, everything disappears. Suddenly, I’m Goro Akechi. Normal high school student, not an ace detective. Just plain, old Goro Akechi who is completely enamored with Ren Amamiya.

And then, time grabs me by the collar and yanks me back into reality. The constant ticking of the clock is a reminder that time is the one keeping us from being together. Time made you believe I was shot to death in that engine room. Time played me like a puppet on strings. Time drove us apart, Ren. 

We could have been great together. 

When we’re at the jazz club and you’re sitting across from me, I am praying to any god that would be willing to get off their high horse and listen, that time would just freeze for that very moment. The soft melodies of the musicians playing that night, the look on your face as you ask me how I’m doing, I wanted it all to stay that way for even a fraction of time. I wanted to stay as Goro Akechi for as long as the universe would let me. It’s those few minutes that I will never get back. It’s just never enough though. 

I have had it with time’s bullshit. I am no longer going to sit around while time takes you away from me. If you believe in taking control of your own life, then find your way back to me. I believe that you can. 

I mean, if there was something else I knew from the start, it was that I was right about there being something special about you. After all, you got me of all people to fall hopelessly in love with you, now isn’t that right? 

Tomorrow, when you get on that train, I want you to think about how if it weren’t for time, we could have had a chance at a life together. A life where we could just be. 

Let’s defy the universe. Let’s defy fate. Let’s defy time itself. 

After all, you still have my glove, don’t you? 

Irrefutably yours, 

Goro Akechi 

[shuchu]

okay so i'm hella sleepy right now because i’ve been travelling the whole day but i just watched all of iluna’s debut streams and i wanted to give my opinion!

maria

she’s adorable

i love her accent

the song she sang was so cute, she was so nervous but it was good!

based for liking jojo’s bizzare adventures

based game taste (fellow stardew lover + hopconner)

based music taste too

her goals were so wholesome, she can definitely do it

i love her sm, looking forward to her streams!!

kyo

the lore video wtf, i was pouting throughout the whole thing, i felt the whole “using games as a distraction from being alone part” 

i wanna give him a hug uhuhu ( ╥ω╥ )♡

kyo is kinda like mysta in a way, idk he’s so relatable & sussy lmao

short king, but we stan lmao

fellow motion sickness sufferer!!

he’s so funny i love him

the whole “vox asmr” thing was hella funny

based pokemon player (so excited for his pokemon x/y nuzlocke!!)

fps gamer we love to see it

based anime taste - naruto and your lie in april enjoyer

looking forward to his streams!!

aia

she looks like a heckin genshin character

she’s literally ike but unhinged

m-mommy?

i too like alban felt slightly intimidated by her ngl

the fact that she likes talking about philosophical stuff, like, me too

kinda relatable too - “when an obscure song isn’t available on spotify” such as blue sugar, hello??!!

based anime taste altho i only watched Free from her list, i have heard of Demon Slayer and Fruits Basket

based game taste - minecraft, pokemon fan!!!!, project diva enjoyer

varied music taste, very based

getting over it, genshin, observation duty as first week streams, love to see it

aster

his starting soon animation is so fucking cute

his anime lore video?? wtf??

the lore video gave me your lie in april vibes & it made me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside

a literal baby i love him sm

his grill voice? h-hello??!

i. love. his. nails.

he’s so soft, i wanna squish him

based food taste - spicy food, boba tea liker and onion hater 

based anime taste - spy x family, kuroko’s basketball and attack on titan enjoyer, altho i’m not sure if i agree that sword art online gets better in the later bits

excited to see him hopcon with the rest!

pretending to be seiso huh? interesting (≧▽≦)

scarle

mommy

she’s so fun i love her

ayo? booba s-size reveal? w-what?

i really like her staff, i want it lmao

toxic anime boys, i died lmao because same girl

very relatable

all the otome games lmfaoooo i’ve played them too, she’s just like me fr fr

avril lavigne, fucking yes

the closing shift will be interesting to watch

the whole “breaking vox” thing, i- uh...that’ll be very interesting, waiting to see them do a collab lmao

ren

DADDY

BLUE SUGAR SLAPS SO HARD

cut me up and paint my insides ren, i mean what? (//ω//)

i love his voice, i simp already

his lore video was a nice mix of cool and cute

i love his little fangies

he’s so tall wtf, again, d-daddy 🧎🏻‍♀️

dislikes BANANA STRINGS, relatable

based game taste

mans is so talented, i stan

another pokemon enjoyer, you love to see it

mans be drippin’,  i love his outfit

fall guys, minecraft, jump king and genshin impact streams this week, very excited to watch them hehe