#this is just for funsies ok dont yell at me

[jadedharleys]

best homestuck transfems

vriskaaaaaaaa

june (genderfluid 2 me (its the breath in her...) but in a transfem way)

roxy :3 this one is just real btw

equius (HEAR ME OUT estrogen WOULD have saved her...if only she knew...)

estrogen would only make eridan worse. sorry. wait actually one of the kids in the friendgroup that was extremely eridancore in my middleschool is a girl now and shes chill i think so maybe estrogen WOULDVE saved eridan too...

jake maybe? idk if shed actually transition to Girl i see her playing with a female persona in a drag queen way but perhaps it would awaken something.

davesprite (there are no boys on that battleship after 3 years.)

tavros (he/they demigirl has been my vision for him for so long now. no breath player has a straightforward binary gender)

i dont see calliope as a trans girl so much as a character who can be read through a transfem allegory lens but she makes the list bc shes so real for that

best homestuck transmascs

sollux (bigender tboy canon bc its true)

dirk (gave himself top surgery on the roof with a katana)

dave (learns a fucked up version of masculinity from his bro who is also trans) (dont worry abt davesprite bein up in the girl zone. its part of their arcs bein separate people k.)

karkat (reminds me of a trans guy i know. thats all)

transmasc nepeta aint 100% my thing + i like transfem nepeta equally but dont have strong enough feelings on either to list them up there...however if equius is a girl then i think them bein t4t gender swap is cute

(oh im running out of headcanons wow) (ig thats all of them) (TEAM TGIRLS WINS???)

[girlwithnomemory1563]

r u serious

pardon my lack of posts; i actually haven't had much time to make poor decisions! just smoke too much, sleep too little and work all of my days away! :,} so actually, a pat on my back is needed since i've been good these past weeks. despite my lack of activity, i have lots of yapping to partake in. i'll try to include a TL;DR at the end to sum it all up.

so we went out thursday! i slept most of the day and then met up with my friend, jane to get ready together. we smoked with her family (hello) and i ended up leaving with a cool ass ashtray! its a pyramid and it opens up to hold all of my roaches :3

ok ok then we head off to her boyfriends dorm and we pregammed with some sort of peachy alcohol... i forgot. but we drank almost the whole damn handle between the three of us before going so i came into the bar just looking for some funsies. immediately, omg, i spot this tall ass hunk of guy (so cringe but if y'all saw him, heeyunk is all you'd think) so ofc im like, ok mental note made. idk if the universe wanted us to meet or if we're just both tall so we saw each other over the crowd LMAO. anywho, we get in there and start dancing after chatting with all of our friends. i got to see an old coworker from my first job! then got scolded by her for being underaged! she actually unleashed a whole bunch of lore onto me abt this other girl we worked with who i actually had such a huge crush on. blah blah basically the girl cheated on the coworker i ran into with her ex and her now current bf. and then ran off to texas! huh!

ANYWAYS OMG we get back onto the dance floor and i see the large man in my radius again. he was like blonde and had the serial killer glasses and a good ass pedo stache. and he was just sooo beefy you have no idea oh my god. and he was 6'5. 6'5!! i'm a 5'10 girl so he's already won me. so we've like seen each other at this point but i keep dancing obviously. the music was so good that night actually, wasn't the normal overplayed playlist. and while im dancing, he somehow ends up in front of me with my group of friends between us and shoves into my friend! and my friend yells at him so obviously i watch with intent and then im like "guys WAIT hes literally a cadet PLS show some respect" so we all saluted him. and he rolled his eyes and i came. lmao jk but it was stupidly attractive and made me reflect abt myself.

we keep going in and out of the bar to smoke and finally, and i've forgotten how we started talking, but he ends up beside me and my friend so i talked to his hunky ass! he was wearing one of those baja (? i googled the style) hoodie in the bar so im like "are you not hot?" and blah blah blah. and we start dancing. and his strong ass beefy arms stayed around me and he was so big grrr. and this bitch bumped into jane so obv jane apologizes. and then the bitch's little goonie ass friend is like "yeah sorry you were in the way.." pardon? so jane comes and tells me and i whip around real quick to find this munchkin bc hey, i have my snake belly ring in so like obv i can do so damage..../not serious at all. and this man...this hunk man...like moved me to be beside him and was like looking for her too! he was down for the gang!

oh god im yapping and i havent even gotten to the GOOD PARTTT. ok so we all go outside and i sit in the chair next to him and we're just chatting. and then he just seamlessly pulls me into his lap??? didn't even struggle? came once again. so im sitting in his lap chatting with him and we go to get up and leave and this man...picks me up and does curls with me still in his arms....never wanted to ride a man's face more than right then and there. so in this moment i have decided im not leaving without this man. and it wasnt even that hard! i mentioned i was going to sleep in jane's boyfriend's floor and he was like "pls i have a bed for you to sleep in" and i was like "say less". i do need more survival instincts BUT you dont get it. if u were feeling the liquor like i was while feeling his huge buff arm around my neck in the bar then you'd understand that i had no other choice. actually lmao as we left, my other friend stella grabbed me and was like "ma he looks like jeffrey dahmer, think abt it" and did! i did think! with my dick!

so we drive to this dingy frat house in the woods (once again, survival is not my middle name hey) and we get in this room that's not even his btw, and there's a bed with a futon next to it. this jackass tells me im sleeping on that futon! and as we were leaving, he was like "no funny business tho, im going to bed" like ok! right! ok ok! but he was just pranking me after i had already started cleaning it up. so we get in bed and start watching tv and im like, abt to explode from horny since i now have this beef cake down to his underwear next to me in bed, so i say "fr no funny business?" and he's all like "i guess some wouldn't hurt" so we start kissing. ok kisser! not a lot of tongue but i get it! and then i move to give him head eventually and he's like instantly "how tf are u so good at blowjobs" and it really stroked my ego so bad. and he came really quick and it didnt throw me off bc for some reason, every man ive been with has ejaculated prematurely in everything. and then we try to go to bed and we're spooning and his boner is pushing into me so im like "you don't want to have sex?" and he says "nope!" and im like "ok! can i ask why!" and he's like

"i'm waiting until marriage!"

ok! ok...! ...ok... i respect that completely bc he went on abt how its like the highest form of discipline to be able to resist sex. so i'm like "ok just put me in the queue when u start sexing people" and we talk a little bit more and then off to sleep we go. so ive made him cum once so far and ive came zero times. which is ok! no its not. but whatever.

we wake up and like, he seemed sorta into me the previous night but i think he saw what i looked like in normal daylight and with no makeup so it turned him off. but we talk some more and i find out my friends killed my vape the night before so obv i bitch abt it. and hes like "i have another vape for you" and he meant his penis! so i give him head again and then he goes to pee. and this man farts so manly and loudly that i could hear it from the room and i cant even say anything. like i knew his tummy felt so much better after that. but then he gets a cup of coffee, doesn't offer me a cup minus 5 points, and then we talk some more. and he checked himself out in the tv reflection as he talked to me. minus like 2 points bc once again, hes beefy so i get it. then he drives me back to my rink dink ass 2005 honda accord and hes like "ah..it says a lot abt you" Hello? Get tf out of my face??

but yeah i left and we haven't talked since! i doubt i'll ever see him again bc hes currently a student at an out of state college. he went to the college in my town for the previous three years and studied biochem...splooged again. but yeah he was just down here for his birthday weekend. so i'll most likely never see him again but if i do, im coming with a wedding certificate so we can bone.

tl;dr: met an amazingly hunky guy, hyped him up so hard in my head, got to his crib and drops the abstinence bomb. i made him cum twice, i came zero. a lose for me but hey...he was so fucking fine i'd do it again any day of the week.

[kamui-oki]

riot forge games i want for my top 10 league champs

making a long ass post for funsies about what kind of riot forge games i want to see in the future revolving around the champs i like, most of this might feel like a shit post but thats kind of the point since i dont know anything about game design Ezreal i want ezreal to be the male version of lara croft, just the annoying gay version, give him a tomb raider styled game in shurima, ixtal or even targon and have him just be the narcissistic bisexual man he is, brownie points if he has multiple different ship endings cause that mf is shipped with everyone. Aphelios and Alune aphelios i have multiple ideas i kind of like, i like skooches idea of a fps shooter adventure game with skill trees and stuff, but i also have grown really attached to the idea of a Kid Icarus Uprising styled game with aphelios going on missions while alune is just casually talking to the aspects and granting aphelios his weapons much like Pit and Palutena. maybe have the 2nd act of the game be with Aphelios actually being voiced due to stuff in act 1 idk idk just spit balling. Sett ok ok ok so what if it was announced that sett was getting a game and it was called something like Sett's Fighting Simulator, where its literally just a fighting game with Sett, but you pick what kind of fighters you want sett to sponsor (idk if thats the right word) so he can earn money, obviously have sett do some of the fighting too. but you might be wondering what would you use this money for? well you could go the boring route and just have it be to upgrade Sett's fighting pit, but you could go the more wholesome route and have the 2nd hidden half of the game be a house decorating simulator for Sett's mom cause WHY NOT. basically do a fnaf pizza simulator but the opposite. Rengar Monster hunter, das it, just have like a monster hunter game with Rengar where you hunt monsters, thats all i got, also maybe you could give rengar outfitoptionsthataretotallynothornychargedokaybye Zoe my bf was thinking of like a gacha game for Zoe where she summons random beings around runeterra or the universe, i like the idea but i just wasnt sure what kind of gameplay it would have. I also really like the idea of cooking mama but its Zoe and she makes chocolate mooncakes and has her own delivary service (asol) and its just a cooking sim Yone my idea for Yone is a crave that i NEED fullfilled now, basically. the first part of the game is a point and click detective game, where as yone you try to figure out what kind of azakana your up against and who it is possessing, once figured out the game switches to a sekiro kind of fighting game where you have to slay the azakana. its simple but i really am attached to the concept. Rakan its really hard to make a game with rakan and not have xayah included (don't get me wrong i like xayah shes just not in my top 10 champs), so I decided for a niche idea thats kind of already been done with the Star Gaurdian event, but it would be a dating simulator where you play as Xayah dating Rakan (duh) and it takes place before things go to shit and they get corrupted. basically have all those pictures of xayah and rakan in Everything Goes On be cute little dates that we actually get to see and maybe have it end tragically idk idk i forget if rakan mf dies in the last event or not lol Yuumi how tf am i supposed to create a game about Yuumi, her lore is dull af and shes just a stupid cat. anyways i love her and her game would be like Talking Tom/Hey You Pikachu where you yell at your phone to get her attention and the microphone just doesnt work and she does the exact opposite thing you want her to do. Nunu and Willump song of nunu is already looking to be everything id want in a nunu gaming game, but if there is no willump hug options in song of nunu then make that its own game

Zeri SUBWAY SURFERS BUT ITS ZERI AND ITS ALSO A RHYTHM GAME OKAY BYE

[rotshop]

*manifests from a pile of shoes*

Could I request head-canons w/ Sanford and Sheriff for a Mag!S/o that kinda looks like siren head?

*re-enters the shoe pile*

-Boot/👢Anon

AUGH ok . ok so. so. um. uh. alright. uhm. i MIGHT have changed a few lil things here and there just so its a LIL easier 4 me ,,, sorry if this isn't what u wanted and if its a little short [runs away crying like an anime girl] /j

TW ; violence / fighting / some gore (?, not heavily detailed, briefly mentioned), injuries / gashes

Sanford

-im going to be completely honest ,you terrified him at first. LIKE. OK. sanford gets scared sometimes. he gets anxious and nervous. but seeing you crawl out and scream some deafeningly loud siren / radio static / etc was one of the moments he was genuinely petrified.

-chances are you came out when he was getting his ass kicked by some soldats / another mag. you felt some sort of pity for him (that or you just wanted a fight / them out of your area) so!!! you step in and start raising hell. it's too hard for soldats to properly shoot at you when they can barely see straight with the noise you're making and that mag has no chance to fight when you're already tearing them in two

-the entire time he's just laying there in shock as he watches you turn agents into unidentifiable masses like its nothing . he doesn't even think to like, run or hide because his brain is just barely processing anything going on at that very moment

-eventually you turn to him and INSTANTLY he goes 'oh shit' and tries to make a run for it before you cut him off by grabbing him and dragging him back. he tries to kick at you or try to (even though he knows DAMN well it wontwork) yell at you in some attempt to scare you off and obviously!! it doesn't work. instead of trning him into mystery meat though you instead just kinda. throw him over your shoulder and start walking???? ur tall as fuck so its !! not super funsies especially when u got blood loss status effect

-after a while you kinda (gently, a surprise to him) drop him down on the ground and go to look for something in some pile of boxes and debris. he KNOWS he should try running for it but he just?? cant??? something just kinda. tells him not to. you end up coming back before he can think better of it and you just??? grab his injured leg and start to try and wrap some gashes up??????

-thus is the start of a rlly weird friendship. he PROLLY cant bring u back to base (unfortunately :[ ) BUT he visits you real often. the other three all just kinda look at each other whenever sanfords super chipper and excited to go on some little 'mission' by himself. chances are he slips on his excuses one time and mentions u and they all just collectively go 'Who.' he (VERY reluctantly) introduces them to you, deimos screamed the second you crouched under an exit to walk outside

-they get used 2 u tho dw

-he LOVES fighting with you, people are fucking HORRIFED the second you walk in purely bc ur a gd powerhouse (and. yknow. for the more obvious reaosns too) which leaves them with a perfect blindspot for him to take advantage of. unfortunately tho agents are mean and homophobic so chances are they do say some shit that gets to you sometimes, this usually leads to him comforting you

-it's usually just you kind crouching and / or leaning way down while he kinda. pep talks you???r3 fhejvedD??? "listen, those aahw fucks don't know a single goddamn thing about you, I do though and I can say with 100% certainty you ain't just some kinda monster or sumn..you mean a lot to me, I care about you, ok?"

-also he acts huffy whenever you hold him but he secretly rlly enjoys it. chances are he struggles with kissing u bc ur just so damn tall !! however this leads to a system where he just kinda. taps on your leg or something so you lean down so he can kiss you

-i may have gotten a little caried away here. woops.

Sheriff

-aahw gave him you bc he asked for some kinda backup / a bodyguard and WHOO boy. yeah. yeah,,,,,,, /derogatory

-you ALSO scared him at first, as in him going completely silent and being squeaky whenever he does have to talk around you. (it's that one 'pov ur just a little hater' 'and?' pic but he's sobbing and shaking /j)

-it takes some raid where hank has him cornered for him to kinda come to his senses. he FULLY expected to drop dead when he seen the barrel of that gun pointed at his head until you fucking grab hank like a ragdoll and- do something. Sheriff squeezes his eyes shut before he can really see, all he can hear is popping and squelching and honestly!! that's all he cares to really hear!! he's good on not getting a visual. he's forced to open his eyes though when you're crouching down next to him and inspecting him for any injuries or anything like that with a surprising amount of gentleness

-it's just as bad afterwards but just in a new way. now he's always following you around like a lost puppy and staring at you. its. yeah. anytime you ask he always jumps and then stammers out some lame excuse (most times it does get him to go back to his office tho bc he completely falls apart hwen u point out how it doesn't make any sense)

-he tries?? showing off in front of you??? almost got his shit wrecked trying to show off his shot skill before you kinda yanked him out of the way and dealt with the bandits urself. he just kinda goes tense in ur hold before relaxing cus u've got him against ur torso / kinda on ur hip (?? if that makes sense) and he's just. 'aha :flushed:'

-you both cause chaos and problems on purpose, he does a lot of the distant shots or anyone who tries getting to ur blindspots / ones u dont notice, u do the same for him and most of the dirty work

-if you ever get injured he makes you lay down so he can help you out, huffs and fusses over you the entire time, scolds you (very gently) because!! what if you got seriously hurt >:[ !!! its ok tho because he gives you a kiss as an apology of sorts lol

-LOVES having you stand by him and seeing how people are obviously intimidated (he likes to think they're intimidated by the both of you but like. its very obviously just u making them nervous lol)

-also will kick a motherfuckers ass if they ever say some hurtful shit to you, YEAH he might be a coward and flighty but if someone treats you like that they're asking for it and just fucked w/ you AND him personally so!! :) /th

[20rubixcubes]

enhypen as baristas

maknae line x gn!reader (comedy, fluff, mild angst)

~1.2k words ea (headcanons)

warnings: cursing

a/n: i just wrote this for funsies, please be mindful that there is heavy swearing in these headcanons (particularly in ni-ki’s part), so if that isn’t your taste, perhaps skip this one! other than that, the rest of this is pretty chill, so i hope you enjoy my shitposting. oh, and lmk if you like this enough to want part two with the hyung line 👀 just maybe i’ll do it

sunoo

was only recently employed as an afternoon shift employee and was both shocked and distressed after discovering the cafe didnt have an instagram

“what do you MEAN you dont have instagram??? how do we post selfies???” “sunoo we sell coffee” “NO ONE WANTS COFFEE JUNGWON THEY WANT CUTE BARISTAS”

starts an instagram for the cafe and takes aesthetic pictures of his latte art

his selfies get way more likes though

speaking of his latte art, he masters the skill like a week in and everyone else is incredibly jealous

their jealousy wears off when jungwon tells him that he has to start training the new apprentices

pretends he forgot how to do it for like a week but it hurts his pride so he begrudgingly agrees to train the apprentices instead

in his free time he can be found snapping pictures around the shop, eventually expanding to taking pictures of the others too

“sunghoon stop moving you look cute and i need to take a photo” “sunoo im holding hot milk” “does it look like i care beauty is pain sweetie”

other than that, he sometimes sits in the booths to snack on muffins and do his homework since he only comes in to the shop for about an hour during his school lunch break and on the weekends

you meet sunoo after applying for an apprenticeship, wanting to get a job before you finish high school and start college

seen as though jungwon looks like the boss, you approach him, nervous for your first shift

“i’m here for the apprenticeship program?” “oh yeah! one second!”

he trots off to the back room, leaving you standing awkwardly in the middle of the cafe

“SUNOO GET OFF JAY YOU HAVE AN APPRENTICE TO TRAIN” “*gasp* YOU MADE ME SMUDGE HIS LIPSTICK I'M QUITTING” “NO YOURE NOT GET OUT THERE RIGHT NOW”

the yelling pauses before who you presume is sunoo stomps through the back room door, a scowl on his face

he spots you, groaning loudly “are you the apprentice?”

“yes” you say meekly, guilty for seeming to ruin his shift

he gestures you to follow him behind the counter, pulling an apron out from under the sink and shoving it to your chest

its clear that hes pissed, yanking his tools out from the cupboards as you tie your apron behind your back quietly

“have you made coffee before?” “only instant coffee” “oh fantastic”

he seems to be getting more irritated by the minute before he takes a deep breath and starts directing you around the machines

“to do the art, you angle the mug like this and draw with the milk, but it wont show until it reaches the top so dont go crazy”

as if its nothing, he demonstrates by drawing a perfect swan in the milk, setting the latte down and dusting his hands off

“wow… thats amazing” “i know right? no one here appreciates me enough” “they should! this is the best i’ve ever seen”

he grins at your compliment, nodding with satisfaction and sending a wave of relief over you as you notice he looks less angry with you now

“um… im sorry if i interrupted whatever you were doing before” “oh, that? i was just doing jay’s makeup” “you like makeup? me too! i’ve never seen a boy interested in it though, thats really cool” you smile genuinely at him as he blinks in surprise

“really? you think its cool?” “definitely!”

you watch the gears turn in his head before he smiles widely, seeming to have come to some kind of revelation as he nods

“i like you.”

your cheeks heat up immediately, but before you can say anything in return, he starts calling out for jungwon, leaning over the counter

“JUNGWOOON, CAN WE HAVE THIS ONE?”

“well thats up to them” he looks up from the table hes wiping down, adjusting his apron as he walks over to the counter

“so youre all finished with the course? i hope sunoo wasnt too much for you”

“i wasnt! anyways, youre employed, okay?” “sunoo stop theyre just an apprentice”

he groans loudly, irritated once more as he whips his head to you

“you have to work here, ok? i said so, so come back and apply or i’ll be mad!”

you laugh at his antics and smile “i’ll see what i can do”

after jungwon pries sunoo off of your arm, you return your apron and leave the shop with a wave

“YOU BETTER COME BACK!” is the last thing you hear as you step out onto the street, the bell ringing to signal your exit

a week later, you return to the shop, slightly anxious that your new friend(?) might have forgotten about you

but this is quickly washed away when you hear a high pitched squeal from the counter

“JUNGWON! HURRY THE FUCK UP AND GET THE FORMS THEYRE HERE”

you laugh as you approach the counter, a teasing tone on your voice

“are you supposed to be talking to your boss like that?” “whats he gonna do? fire me? im the only one who can make coffee in this place” “true”

soon enough, jungwon comes out of his hiding place, his hands clasped together

“im really sorry to ask this but please, you have to work here, sunoo hasnt shut up about you all week and i dont know if i can stand him anymore, i’ll even pay you extra please dear god”

you give sunoo a look, only receiving an innocent smile and puppy eyes back

“sure, i’ll take the job!”

jungwon sighs in relief as sunoo begins jumping up and down, yelling something about having his own little baby to take care around the shop as you groan, covering your blushing face

once you have your hours established (sunoo made you take the same as all of his, but you did the nights instead of the afternoons on the weekends, to his displeasure), you get straight to working

… well, sort of

it was hard to get work done with sunoo pestering you around the clock

“you think im cute right?” “yes sunoo” “even though i have bags under my eyes? “yes sunoo” “you promise?” “yes sunoo” “good”

admittedly he is slightly of help when it comes to the more fiddly parts of making coffee, but every other second of the day he seems to be flirting nonstop

“can i kiss you?” “no” “why not” “sunoo we’ve been over this” “BEING AT WORK ISNT A VALID EXCUSE”

worn down after his incessant yelling all day, you find yourself snapping faster than usual

“we’re not even dating, sunoo! why would i kiss you!? just stop playing with my feelings already!”

for the first time since you’ve known him, sunoo goes quiet

“why not?”

“what are you talking about now sunoo?” “why arent we dating”

now its your turn to go quiet

“do you not like me?” “what? no, sunoo-” before you can reason with him, you watch him quickly rush away from you around the counter, slamming the break room door behind him with tears in his eyes

cursing to yourself, you ensure there are no customers to serve before quickly darting after him

after looking around a bit, you hear sniffling from the supply closet and knock on the door quietly

“sunoo?” “leave me alone!”

you sigh, taking a step back and turning on your heel to face the opposite direction, running a hand through your hair as you think

you spot a dog bed at your feet, suddenly remembering that jake usually keeps his dog supplies covered in dog hair in the closet

“sunoo arent you allergic to dogs?”

“... *sniffle* y-yeah”

after you persuade him to come out by mentioning that his face is going to get all puffy, he steps out, eyes glued to the floor as he looks away from you in shame

placing a hand on his shoulder, you speak to him softly

“sunoo, look at me”

he does, hesitantly, his eyes red and watery and, as you said, puffy and inflamed

despite this, you smile

“i do like you back”

his eyes start watering again, your heart skipping a beat in fear that you had said something wrong

“e-even if my face is all puffy and gross?” his voice wobbles, the tears filling his eyes giving him a sense of vulnerability as you sigh

“yes, even if your face is all puffy and gross”

he smiles at that, shutting his eyes cutely as you press a kiss to his cheek

“and theres your kiss”

he whines “i was supposed to do that!”

“you can do it after we finish work, okay?” “WORK STILL ISNT A VALID EXCUSE…. but maybe today just because i need to ice my face” “yeah you really should, can you even see?” “no not at all” “great”

jungwon

the previous manager left suddenly and jungwon was given a semi-forced promotion as he was the only employee with at least half of a brain cell

poor boy is stressed 24/7

doesnt get paid enough for this

“hey jungwon we ran out out of coffee bea-” “I ORDERED NEW ONES FOUR HOURS AGO NOW SHUT UP IM TRYING TO MAKE SURE THE BOSS DOESNT FIND JAKE’S DOG SHELTER IN THE SUPPLY CLOSET”

goes through hell every day just to make sure the others dont burn the cafe down

is supposed to be on the morning shift but he stays until the afternoon

in his rare moments of downtime, he likes to go around and water the hanging plants around the shop

is that one vine where the mom listens to nicki minaj for the first time and screams “no” over and over whenever ni-ki gets control of the cafe music

“RIKI NISHIMURA WHAT IS THAT ON THE SPEAKERS” “ITS OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR ARIANA GRANDE” “TURN IT OFF THIS IS NOT PG13” “SHUT THE FUCK UP GRANDPA”

is only 16 but acts like a 32-year-old father going through a midlife crisis

lifts boxes of supplies all day yet his joints are famously brittle

“hey jungwon did you hear glass shattering too?” “sorry jay that was my back” “you need to invest in physical therapy” “maybe if i wasnt paying for property damage every other week 😊”

you meet jungwon when you drop into the cafe for a croissant and a coffee before your class starts

usually you come at night maybe an hour before closing so you had never seen him before, but here you were watching this cute but clearly stressed boy scramble around the shop carrying boxes of supplies to the back

trying not to be creepy, you sigh, turning back to your phone after watching him for a solid five minutes straight

as you do, you hear a crash coming from what you assume is the supply closet followed by a disgruntled groan

pausing, looking around at the other customers typing away at their laptops and waiting for another staff member to go check on the boy, you stand up as you discern that he must be the only one working and hesitantly go to see if he’s okay

“hello? are you okay?” you peer through the door, your eyes widening at the sight of him rubbing his head with a wince on his features, supplies strewn around him at his feet and a box knocked over beside him

“ah… um, yes, i’m okay, sorry if i disturbed you with that noise…” he smiles bashfully, pulling himself back onto his feet

“do you need help with all of that stuff?”

he opens his mouth to protest, not wanting to have to ask for help from a customer, but after seeing the amount of crap off of the shelves, he realises that there is no way in hell he’s going to be able to clean all of it up alone before his shift ends

“um… is that okay?” his cheeks flush with embarrassment as you smile

“sure!”

over the next couple of hours you two establish a little system of bagging the spilt supplies and passes them to eachother to put in boxes, chatting never ceasing as you discover that you actually have a lot of things in common

“since you work here, what’s your favourite kind of coffee?” “i like lattes… i cant stand bitter things” “me too! my friend drinks espressos though” “ditch them”

you also find out that he started being homeschooled after becoming the manager as he doesnt have time to attend normal school

the both of you find yourselves laughing nonstop, having fun in eachother’s company

so much so that you end up late for school

“oh shit! i completely missed my first class”

guilty for making you late, he offers to take you

“i can take you?” “you drive?” “well….. not exactly”

once sunoo and ni-ki arrive to care for the shop, he takes you out to the car park, pulling a spare helmet out of his backpack and securing it on your head before giving your head a pat as he gets onto his scooter

“you look cute” “i look like a bug” “a cute bug”

once you get to school, face red after having to hold onto him the entire time, you hop off and pass him the helmet with a shy smile

“thanks for driving me” you mutter, brushing off imaginary dirt from your shirt as you do your best to avoid eye contact, your face still flushed and heart racing

is it possible to develop a crush on someone this quickly???

jungwon is so cute that he makes it possible, you surmise

“of course” he mirrors your nervous smile, a blush finding its way to his own cheeks

as you bow and spin on your heel to start walking inside, he stops you

“wait!”

“what is it?” you turn to him, your heart still thundering against your ribcage at the fond expression he has plastered on his features

“actually… can i pick you up? after school?”

when you pause, your face growing hotter and hotter, he begins to sputter

“i-i’m really sorry, its fine if not! that was way too forward, i just really like you and- oh god that was even more forward- um-” “okay” “yeah i’m sorry that was a stupid questio- wait, what?”

before he can say anything else, your smile widens

“i’ll see you later, okay? don’t be late!” you wave, skipping into the building with a fluffy feeling in your chest

with an awkward wave, jungwon watches you leave, his mouth wide open in shock before a grin replaces his expression

getting back into his seat, the lovestruck smile never leaving his face as he drives off, he begins to count down the minutes until he gets to see you again

ni-ki

works the afternoon shift

technically an apprentice but he gets paid and has been there forever so basically an employee at this point

or he would be if he ever actually made coffee

he sits with the work phone all morning and chooses the music

perpetually dancing to 7 rings by ariana grande (look up his cover. youre welcome in advance)

jungwon and jay scream at him to at least do the mopping to which he complies, but not without performing a whole ass concert with it

once they saw him twirl and dip the mop

eventually they just told him to go back to curating the music because he was scaring customers away and they were losing business

he was horrible at cleaning anyway

“hey jungwon i think i got window cleaner in your plant” “im firing you” “i dont even go here” “STOP QUOTING MEAN GIRLS AND FIX THE DAMAGE YOUVE CAUSED”

you meet ni-ki while youre drinking your coffee at a booth and he plays your favourite obscure indie song so you have to compliment his taste and get to talking

he plays your favourite songs whenever youre in the shop and audibly hisses at anyone who tries to change it

makes choreography to said songs at home and tries to impress you by casually belting it out by your booth

when you compliment his dancing and ask how long hes been practicing that choreography hes all like “oh hahaha it was just casual freestyle super easy peasy”

(hes been practicing for two weeks)

thought he was being super obvious by doing these things but apparently nOT because you have not caught the hint at all and hes getting impatient

asks for advice from the others begrudgingly

“give them flowers” “jay thats so boring” “do you want to use one of my dogs? everyone loves dogs” “wtf jake since when have you had more than one dog” “make them latte art with a heart on it” “sunoo ive literally never made a coffee in my life” “why dont you just ask them out like a normal perso-” “shut the fuck up grandpa thats so weird no one does that”

eventually he settles on sunoo’s idea of making you latte art and he embarks on his journey to make his first coffee

rather than focusing on the actual taste, sunoo tells him to just do whatever so that he can show him how to do the art

“why is it green ni-ki” “you said to do whatever” “and your first idea was to make poison? idk if this is the best idea if youre trying to ask this person out” “shut up and pass me the milk”

burns his hands on the steaming milk jug at least fifteen times and ends up with so many bandaids on his fingers

despite how stiff the bandages are on his hands, he eventually manages to make a sort-of legible heart

“it looks like africa” “have you ever had steamed milk poured on your eyes sunoo?”

poor ni-ki waits for you all day, his heart leaping every time the bell on the door rings only to roll his eyes when it isnt you

he even stays past his shift so youd better let him take you on a date or hes quitting

when you finally arrive he trips over the bucket at his feet he was using to clean and spills dirty water all over his pants

“omg ni-ki are you okay what happened” *five octaves higher* “NOTHING I'M COMPLETELY FINE WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT”

by the time he’s finished cleaning himself up (and by that i mean fixing his hair in the mirror for twenty minutes) he takes a deep breath and walks over to you, somewhat cold latte in hand

“um,” he clears his throat, his face growing red as he slides the mug towards you “i made this for you”

“aw thanks ni-ki! why is it green” “........its matcha?”

youre slightly suspicious but you look back to the mug and slowly realise that the “drawing” slightly resembles a heart, smiling a little bit to yourself

when you look back to him, youre a little confused as to why hes just standing there

“is something wrong?” you press the mug to your lips, taking a sip

“o-uh uh actually, i wanted to ask if… if you would uh maybe sort of go on a date with me”

you can only smile

“yes, but…”

his heart starts beating faster, watching you anxiously

you stand up, taking the notepad and pen from his apron pocket and scribbling your phone number

“only if you promise to learn how to make actual coffee” you wink, handing him the notepad and sauntering out of the shop

hes stood there dumbstruck, stars in his eyes at the slip of paper in his hand

but then he realises: he has a new mission

rushing to the back room, he slams the door open

“grandpa, i need you to teach me how to make coffee right now” “literally why do i pay you”

with your promise in mind, the others see him work more diligently at the counter than they ever have before

“wow youre actually working today?” “shut up i need to figure out how to do this butterfly before i pry my eyes out with a fork” “haha funny joke ni-” “did i stutter”

at the end of the week, he forces heeseung (the cafe’s best coffee maker) and sunoo (the cafe’s best latte artist) to judge his latte

“this is… surprisingly good” heeseung peers into the mug, smiling at the swan ni-ki created with the latte foam as sunoo grumbles “dont tell me im gonna have to start competing with this kid, it probably tastes gross” “it tastes amazing too” “im quitting”

with his coworkers’ notes in mind, he finally works up the nerve to send you a quick message telling you to come into the shop

when you arrive the next day, ni-ki greets you and immediately gets to work, making sure to stand as close as humanly possible to your booth so he can show off his newly acquired coffee making skills

with you only inches away, he does make a mistake and spill milk on his shirt after looking at you and not his hands for a second too long, but you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt when he sets the mug in front of you

“wow! this heart is perfect!”

you smile, looking up to him “did you seriously learn how to do latte art just so you could take me on a date?” “… y-yeah, and?”

you can only chuckle as you press the mug to your lips, readying yourself to drink liquid dirt…

“this is… really good!” you grin, taking another sip and putting the mug down on its saucer

“i think you’ve definitely earned yourself a date… or two”

at this news, ni-ki’s face lights up, shoving the urge to scream down his throat before nodding stiffly to try and contain his excitement with a strained “cool” escaping his lips

“are you okay ni-ki?” “yes just give me one second”

he quickly scrambles to the break room, a moment of silence wafting through the store before a shrill scream fills the air

eyes wide, you turn to jay, who had been manning the till, after hearing him burst into laughter

“what is he doing?”

“we told him the freezer was sound proof”

[audiovisualrecall]

We got yelled at (or at least..scolded?) at work and the frustrating part is that a) I wasnt part of the group of ppl hanging out chatting, I'd just come back from break and was taking care of some losses before getting more stuff to pack out/go on the floor.

And the other thing that's bothering me besides being lumped in w the kiddos, is that when our atl asked what we'd been doing between the time other atl left and he clocked in, my brain went totally blank and then decided to say I'd gone on my 10. Like??? He wanted to know....what we'd been working on....

and like I couldve said 'specialty' and he wouldve been like ok yeah, I couldve gone on and said 'specialty, mushrooms, and carrots/roots' but I didnt say any of that!! I did my work! If I dont focus on specialty (and carrots) it doesnt get done, so I did my sets and I also checked on the front value table too. So I did my work and I went on break as he came in and then I get back and no one else said anything either, and he was like it looks like nothing got done.

Like!! If specialty had become a mess in the ~10 mins I was gone on break then its 100% on the customers bc they scramble everything for funsies. And im not responsible for the other areas, I'm not responsible for my coworkers beyond discussing what we're gonna work on with them. I tried the whole 'getting them to work on the stuff I notice but cant do bc i have so much to do on whatever it is im working on' thing and I just felt like I was trying to micromanage my coworkers and that was a) not fun and b) not well-received.

They do hang out and chat and dont make sure at least 1 someone is on the floor at any given moment, sometimes, but im USUALLY not part of it, I usually do try to make sure someone is on the floor and literally a minute b4 our atl called us over to talk I asked my coworkers 'is anyone on the floor???!' And then was like you know what, nevermind, I'm not micromanaging (I'm not a manager or supervisor!!!) And I'm sure I'll be on the floor soon if they're not. And then atl decided to address it. Argh!

Anyway im just frustrated I couldn't figure out a way to be like 'hey serg, btw I was doing specialty and mushrooms and carrots all day, nothing changed for me when other atl left, and I did my work and was packing our whatever I could and trying to keep it neat' without it being awkward or like im throwing my coworkers under the bus...

so I didnt approach him to tell him this so he thinks I'm doing the same shit as the others and I havent been at all. and its frustrating also bc if id decided to WAIT till after he came in to go on my break, instead of trying to fit in two 10s (which didnt end up happening bc I felt like that would look bad after we got scolded...), then when he came on the floor I wouldve been either working on my areas or leveling stuff/running something else really quick.

Ie I wouldve been seen doing stuff and being the only one on the floor and if he called us all together to discuss their behavior then I wouldve known I wasnt being roped in with them he was just trying not to single me out in this scenario, but now I'm worried and theres no way to prove otherwise bc itll just look like we all got our acts together rather than mimi was consistently not a problem! Like just, UGH.

(What we need is to clone me a bunch of times bc then I'll be able to do apples And citrus And cut veg or salads AND all of specialty/mushrooms/carrots.)

Also tired of customers just fucking up whatever we pack out or beaten up while we've moved on to another area and then atl comes in right before we can go back to the areas that are now a mess and it looks like we havent done anything. And maybe some ppl havent but honestly besides a couple spots where we were absolutely out of stuff, my sets looked pretty good? I usually run a few things that are low right around 6:30 and then level mushrooms and then help level apples. Idk. Im just... whatever. I needed to get it out of my head bc rsd is a bitch, disapproval fucks my brain up apparently :c everyone should like me and know I'm always doing my best and working hard!!!!! (If atl came in right as other atl left he wouldve seen me working hard grr)