#this is just brainstorming i havent been able to stop thinking about this all day

[haemosexuality]

some people are very mad at the implication that the LN world is ~All A Dream~ but i dont think thats exactly it? like to me it seems very clear that the ln world is a real place, and all that happens in it is real. i think that what's happening is that when they go to sleep, their consciousness is transported into this paralel reality (the Nowhere) and they leave once they awaken, but as they spent more and more time there they slowly succumb to whatever powers or entities rule that world and they become trapped there. its like. kind of like the dark worlds in deltarune, or the other world in coraline, or the upside down in stranger things, or the fear reality/ies in the magnus archives you get the idea

those entities seem to both feed off of and be created by childrens fear, a paradoxical "it exists because children fear it and children fear it because it exists" thing. in an interview a dev said that "something happened before in [the kids] lives that made them a good fit for little nightmares" and i think that "something" is being traumatized: you have more nightmares that way.

something interesting about six specifically is that she's always described as being from somewhere else, not belonging 'here', etc, one description even says she "awoke in a world she cannot recognize" which. straight up confirms shes Not From This World, but like, if all of the kids came here because of nightmares whats different about her? why do they apparently 'belong' in the nowhere but she doesnt? maybe she has, like, too much willpower to succumb to the powers or something and thus doesnt belong with the other kids trapped here who have all given up, but then again shes also described to be "fading away from this world" at the start of ln2 which does seem to mean that shes succumbing to it? like, giving up and fading away? idk idk

bandai website description, issue 1 of the comic

also from the bandai namco website. six's "terrible fate" might be her succumbing to depression or whatever but have no idea why guiding mono to the signal tower would be important? maybe its not actually about the tower and its just about having a purpose and a friend to hold on to so she still has hope

ok heres my tinfoil hat theory: obv the podcast, the devs, promotional material and concept art all seem to be saying that ''kids go to a nightmare world when they go to sleep and sometimes get trapped there" is whats happening, but this post theorizes that maybe the nightmares noone in the podcast is having are prophetic and like. the nightmares explained video says that "the nightmares are crossing into the real world". what if what happened is that vulnerable kids who kept having nightmares were going to this future reality where the world got fucked up because of these entities, and maybe whenever they succumbed to them the entities were able to use their bodies to cross into our world, which eventually led to them being able to take over? resulting in the future fucked up reality kids were going to in their dreams? its not like little nightmares is unfamiliar with time paradoxes thats basically what happened to mono. idk!!!!

i keep bringing up other media but im not really comparing them im just using similsr exampled to explain what i mean bc its so weird i cant think of how else to do it. anyways what if the kids who fully give up and succumb to the fear become like the goners frok undertale. everyone just forgets they ever existed

[whatifyoulivelikethat]

warning: anon ask referring to self-harm and relapsing.

last night i relapsed on my self harm streak of about 1 year. feeling so guilty and so shitty. worried my boyfriend and felt so fucking disgusting about that. i hate myself i hate that i did this because it was all for nothing. im just as anxious as i was and feeling even worse bc i left my boyfriend so fucking worried. i havent spoken to him since last night after i told him how sorry i was that im getting him involved in this bs. i know i know i cant expect him to not worry or be scared but i feel so bad that he is doing that in the first place. i hate that im scaring him and i hate that i make him feel like he cant help me. i went off all my socials and told him i need sometime. i want to talk to him about this, i want to not be so impulsive and anxious and i want to not let him be so scared all the time. i hate this i hate it sm. send helpppp

"I'm stuck." "I did all that and I'm still like this." "I haven't changed." "I'm never going to change." "I can't break the cycle." "I fucked up and I can't get away from these thoughts, I worked this hard for this long and somehow I'm still trapped by my demons and one day I might..."

Yeah, I know.

"Lose."

I know you might feel as if you're back to square one, but you're not. Things are different this time. He may not understand why you have closed off like this, but one day he will because you will be able to explain it to him. You at least told him and that was what you were ready for at this time, but at some point in the future, maybe not in this heavy headspace, you will be able to find the words to say what you're going through right now.

You might know this already, but I'll remind you: self-harm is a habit. Habits are hard to break. Sometimes, at just the wrong time, a series of events will hit you in a certain place and shit goes down. It doesn't mean you can't stop it in the future simply because you couldn't stop it this time. It doesn't mean you've weak either for giving in. Look for the stressors and the situations you were in that pushed you over the edge. Think about ways for how to mitigate the impulse in the future. Make it really fucking difficult to get to your self-harm tools. I'm talking annoyingly difficult. If it is too inconvenient when the impulse comes, you're less likely to follow through. But it's been a year, so you might have your own system. Let's refine it more. This is not the end.

It might be someday, but it is not toady and we are going to fight for tomorrow.

It is up to you how you talk about it. I tend to think it's better to speak about it when you have a clear head, but sometimes you need someone there when you're going down. I get that. Just understand that not everyone has encountered or lived this. And even if they have, they might still say the wrong thing because they simply don't know what to say or they end up saying what they would like to hear, but that doesn't mean that is what you want to hear. And sometimes you don't even know what you want to hear. It's a fucking mess. I know.

Despite all that, you want to tell him and I think you should, because he can't understand you unless he has at least a glimpse of what is going on in your head. Please don't put the pressure on him to have the answers. There are no answers anyway. Instead, come to the conversation with ways that he can support you or brainstorm them together. What are the things you want him to say? What can he do to help you get your mind off it? What can he and you do to prevent or lessen the stressors? What are some signs you exhibit when you're especially anxious or impulsive? Are there patterns? Specific days / times / cycles? He will be less scared if he feels more prepared and knows you better.

I hope it doesn't happen in the future, but if it does, you are not shit. You might act shitty sometimes, but not that does not mean all the work you've done so far is for naught. Finding your signs is one of the most important things you can do. Try various solutions. Don't get discouraged if one doesn't work. Trust me, the same solution / distraction / what worked last time will not work every time and that is okay. Humans are changing creatures. We may have patterns but we also have the ability to break the ones we no longer want by reframing how we think about them and changing our mental environment. This is not all you are.

It is part of you but it will not be the end of you.

Trust me. You have already begun the change. You can talk about it and that, in it of itself, means you are not weak. I might be a random, but I'm also not, hm? I'm not a therapist, but I've lived it. Heh, listen to Yoongi. Future's gonna be okay. One day, you'll look back and see how far you've come. It's murky now, but the fog and the clouds will lift. You have the tools to move forward. You can, and will, do this.

[comicteaparty]

February 1st-February 7th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from February 1st, 2020 to February 7th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What is the nicest thing someone has said about your story, whether its published or still a WIP?

Deo101 [Millennium]

Well, this is one I can answer right away. It's not a very straightforward answer, but I had someone reference me and my comic in an essay about reasons why they were able to love themself... It was for a creative writing class, and they just used me as an example of a greater thing (indie media)... and I only know about it because they asked me permission. but they let me read the essay, and it made me cry. I havent heard from them in a while and I really hope they're okay, but that really stuck with me in a way nothing else has. It's not really a quote, though, so the nicest comment I have recieved was "I can tell how much you love people by reading this story." It was really sweet in a way I can't quite articulate. People have been incredibly sweet to me, and I feel very blessed. I could make a long list detailing the kindness I have been shown.

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

Apparently Phantomarine (http://www.phantomarine.com/) has made more than one person cry already. Which, to me, is pretty darn high praise, given that I've barely begun the story

Having people find it and say "THIS IS EXACTLY THE KIND OF STORY I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR" also hits a nerve. I know that feeling. You like certain themes/motifs and you wish someone would blend them together in just the right way. It can be magical.

And the last one is when I learned that children like it. A few have come forward so far - either in person or through their parents - and told me they loved it. It was around that age that I was building my own 'inner library' of inspirations for the comic. To know that I might be part of theirs, even in a small way, is just... the best?

Deo101 [Millennium]

that's all so incredibly nice <3

and now I wanna add to my list actually I don't want to interrupt, this is just a topic I wish I could sing from the rooftops about... I also had a student of mine (I am a teacher at a church) come out to me because he knew I would be okay with who he is. And, I have had people tell me it's inspiring to them, which kinda makes my heart melt. I'll stop now but, really I could go on and on about how open and loving people have been with me and my work, and how much it means to me.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Man... This is somewhat difficult for me to answer since I am so early into my comic creating journey. However, I will say that I recently got a comment on my comic Whispers of the Past (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366) that made me smile. A long time reader commented that they always read my new pages twice, once on Webtoon, and again on Tapas. This really made me realize that my work has meaning to somebody other than myself, which is definitely what I need to hear when I'm doubting myself.

Mei

It's so nice reading about nice comments people have gotten and honestly... y'all deserve it!! I need to be in a better habit of commenting myself because I will promote comics to my friends for days on end but I'm too shy to leave a comment, even though I love receiving comments myself. I think the nicest comments I've received have been in combination with the conventions I was at last year. People told me that they thought the comic was funny, which I am incredibly thankful for. And one person who bought the book at the convention took the time to find it on Tapas and then comment on the latest page, saying that they'd talked to me, read the book, and that they liked it. That meant so much to me it was crazy! And another time, I was showing my book to someone at a convention and she said that she actually read the comic online, which honestly... It's so strange and surreal to me to meet anyone in real life who reads things posted online. It made my heart do smiley emoji. I think what LadyLazuli said is really right, this idea that you're a small part of someone's life or inspirations or just general day is pretty amazing?! Also this one guy commented on every page week to week with the same 'vase' joke on several updates and honestly the commitment was truly astounding

kayotics

I think some of the nicest comments come from one specific reader, who has mentioned a couple times that going back and reading the comic has helped them through some tough times. There was also one person who went to the effort of contacting me after their books were damaged from flooding, and wanted to buy new books to replace the old ones. This was wild since they wanted to do something so inconvenient (paying with cash by mail, and I didn't even have an online storefront in the first place) to replace the books.

twothirty

really early on i had 1 reader that would leave in-depth analysis of some character interactions and they were were spot on and made me really feel like people cared about this story . The other interaction that really stands out was doing the convention circuit last year I had a reader come up to say hi, and usually that interaction is just "i love your comic!" (which is amazing) but he also then talked to me at length about the story and again it was this feeling of just knowing someone out there cares about what you're doing. Comics feels particularly isolating so interactions like that really keep me going.

Funari (Raison d’Etre)

I've had two different readers tell me our comic has brought them joy during bad days. Sadly one of them I haven't heard from in 2 years and they were going through some rough times. I hope they're okay

Nutty (Court of Roses)

The nicest thing I've heard was when my coworker told me him and his daughter were reading it, and he told me that she's "drawing like me" with panels and stuff and keeps asking him "how do i make the bubbles" So they're gonna work on that and then he's gonna show it to me.

keii4ii

Any time someone gets what I'm trying to do with the story. I have a great fear of getting good intentioned people trashing the most important parts of my story (without realizing their importance). So whenever someone gets what the story is all about, whether as a whole or just one scene, it's a huge weight off my chest. Legit brings tears to my eyes. Even if I manage to overcome that fear some day, comments like that would mean a lot to me. Being understood has always been very important to me.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Someone recently said they wanted to get a tattoo of something in the comic and that was cool. It also means a lot when people respond well to the jokes in the comic because I put a lot into the writing to make it funny. I hope it makes someone cry someday Joe Is Dead http://joeisdead.com/read

DanitheCarutor

Ffff all my readers have been so compassionate, it's jarring! In a nice way! Choosing one nice thing is hard, every comment has been nice. I guess the most flattering is when a someone takes the time to go back to the previous chapters to link little things up with the current events in the story, or when they manage to remember in spite of how webcomics update so slowly. There was a comment I saved a while back where someone remembered a small thing in chapter 3 and was doing some brainstorming with it relating to the current chapter at the time.

Every so often someone also leaves a paragraph with some of the most motivational gushing, it's so nice! Oh! Also, there have been a few people who've asked me to print my comic so they can have a physical copy (which I'm slowly starting to do), which is super motivating knowing a couple people like my depressing comic enough to want to own a copy of it.

keii4ii

Oh man, I too have saved screenshots of some of my favorite comments, but I don't wanna share them because 1) some of them are long and 2) maybe the commenters wouldn't want their names disclosed in a different context? They are great to save for a rainy day, though!

Tuyetnhi

Oh this is hard I remember one comment on tapas that they got their aunt and cousin reading it and I was flattered! Most comments I got were about the artstyle and progression of the story, which I hope to continue if school lets me. Still, I'm quite surprised that it drove someone to get their family to read a romance about someone's dream lover lmao

also same keii!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Honestly, I have far too many comments I should screenshot. But so many of them are praising the art, and I never know how to feel about it. Like, those types of comments make me happy, but I never know how to truly feel about them.

keii4ii

Art is admittedly easier to comment on. If I'm commenting on art on anyone's comic, I try to point out how it contributes to the storytelling, rather than "ooh pretty and shiny." Pretty and shiny is valid but I'd be just doing illustrations if that were my main goal!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

But if 9/10 comments are, "Wow, the art is so pretty!" I can't really react to it much, especially since my own self-doubt is constantly reminding me of my mistakes.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

I've been really excited to answer this question because it gives me an opportunity to thank any and all the fans and people who celebrate our work. I've been so humbled by all of the wonderful and amazing fanart we've received, music paired with scenes from our comic, and fans even imagining scenarios of the characters themselves-- I'm constantly blown away! I do have my most treasured moment however, and that was when we were tabling at TCAF a couple years back. We had been swamped with crowds, selling, and early mornings-- it was a long day! That was until we had one person who went through the trouble to see us in person, and handcraft a drawing to deliver to us, saying thank you, and in that moment I bawled!! They quickly left after us thanking them so much, and I'll never forget that and how much it gave us a fire to see this whole project through. We have it framed and it sits in front of our cpu

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I got one comment where someone said that one of my main characters "seems sweet," and it just left me confused because, a) he's only said about ten words total, and b) in those ten words, he has somehow managed to be rude.

So how is he sweet???

But I mean, I should be happy that he seems likeable despite his attitude and reticence

Tuyetnhi

nice lmao

I do agree about the comments about the artwork being pretty and idk how to repond other than thanks lmao(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yep

That's pretty much all I can say

Because I would HOPE my art looks pretty good after a decade drawing haha

Tuyetnhi

tho tbh because of the nature of my comic, I do get the occasional thirst comment and I'm just sitting there bawling

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh yeah, I get those

Tuyetnhi

"Wow he's buff"

"yea bc I made him like that lmao"

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

People drooling about my male MC mainly

It's so awkward, but I knew it would happen

Tuyetnhi

same, but for the male love interest and i'm like "this is expected lmao"

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I KNEW WHAT I WAS DOING

keii4ii

I get like 0 thirsty comment despite one of the MCs being an athletic cat dude with literal secret tentacles (I'm okay with not getting a lot of thirsty comments, but I do find it interesting)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've gotten thirsty comments and my comic is not meant to be romantic or sexy at all

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh, I can leave you some thirsty comments

I love Lu

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I was going to say they are inevitable(edited)

but kei proved that wrong

Tuyetnhi

same I love Lu too lmao

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

And will gladly praise his hotness

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

if your comic goes on for long enough, i think you will get some eventually. it is a rule of the internet

keii4ii

It's been ongoing since Nov 2014 XD But I guess it takes longer for some than others!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@keii4ii I don't think you quite understand

I have never been attracted to animal-people before

I have always found anthros and such weird

And yet

Lu is totally my thing

Tuyetnhi

Strangely attractive for a cat guy lol

points for those who get the ref

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

how do you guys know what their comic is?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

He is way too attractive

keii4ii

Mine? Cronaj and Tuyetnhi came across it outside this Discord, I believe!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Yep

I have been reading it for a few years now

Although I can't say exactly when, because HoK has been a part of my life for so long

Tuyetnhi

I think I started reading it a year or 2 ago lol

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii The only nice thing about Webtoons is that there aren't any profiles to check, so you can't look up fans via their comments. Also if you did Google their username there isn't a guarantee whoever you find would be that Webtoons user without them telling you. Lmao! About the thirsty comments, I used to get them a lot of Webtoons. There was this one scene where my smaller MC pulled the taller one to their face to say "Your friend is dead", before shoving him away and walking off. Some of my readers went wild! They wanted the two MCs to make-out so bad, even though the scene clearly had no romantic chemistry... or even the entire comic for that matter. My thirsty bunch came off really desperate and reaching at times.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Omg, that's just precious

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I really have never gotten thirsty comments, with the exception of one or two very mild 'Oh, that character is attractive' comments. But I think my comics just don't really attract thirsty readers. Of course, I rarely get any reader feedback, so that's probably part of it.

keii4ii

@DanitheCarutor Yeah, that's a plus about the semi-anonymity! My screenshots are from less anonymous places, so yeah. Some are also from like... Discord, where the person may not even have expected the comment to be archived in any way. (Sometimes I actually asked if I could screenshot, but I don't know if I asked every time...)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

No one has ever reported finding my characters attractive

Deo101 [Millennium]

People thinking my characters are hot is a pretty common thing, and usually I don't mind but... sometimes it's the bane of my existence.

It's always a little bit weird, though

every time someone is like "dat ass " I'm like alright bud keep it to urself

it's part of why I made all of my characters adults, actually

people even before I started making it, just when I was talking to them about it or showing my art would STILL be overly sexual about my characters so I aged them up where it felt less weird for me.

kayotics

I’ll get thirst comments every once in a while, usually on tapas. I don’t mind it too much, especially since I’m usually making characters that I’m also attracted to? I usually think thirst comments are funny

DanitheCarutor

Pfff I'm in a similar boat to Deo's. Usually I don't mind, but there are moments where it sucks. Like there will be a really serious, or heavy scene and someone will pop up with "Make them kiss!!", "Don't be mean to your future hubby, X! Kiss him and make up!!". It totally feels they don't actually care about the story and just want something to jack it off to. xD I don't get a whole lot of thirst anymore, which is nice. I think the vocal group lost interest after being blue-balled for 3-4 chapters. Weirdest thing, I have yet to get anyone saying my characters are attractive... well, some readers used to say Julian (my questionable looking non-binary character) was pretty but they weren't really thirsty, just observations. At least they came off like that. My style makes characters look kind of ugly, so comments about any of my cast being attractive is non-existent. @keii4ii Ooh yeah, I can see how that would be an issue. Although, if you really want to show off some super nice comments, you can also just cover or blur out their username and icon image. A lot of people do that, it's really good for keeping up the user's anonymity, and I don't think they would mind since you're not using their words slanderously.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Can I admit I sort of wish I got some thirsty and shipping comments? I also draw characters I think are hawt so I kinda wish my readers felt the same way. XD I don’t really want them in Ashes were my characters are teens, but in Eryl where 95% of the cast is legal age, I kinda wish some people wanted to be a little bit thirsty about it. XD

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah, i just wish it wasnt... Idk sometimes it seems like thats ALL people see and it makes me sad

Like theres other stuff going on...

eli [a winged tale]

I feel you too Cap’n! I sort of expected shipping comments for AWT https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/keyspace-a-winged-tale/list?title_no=322364 but yeah they’re still kids discovering themselves! When I start my adult fantasy comic (tentatively planned), then I’m all on board for sure. For the question, I love and screenshot every comment to peruse whenever I feel down. I treasure all of them but one that particularly stood out for me was a writer reimagining all their stories with my art and characters and that just about made me cry happy tears

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

So far the only 'thirst comments' I've gotten are when the comic gets even the slightest bit... gay I can't say my story revolves around major LGBTQ+ themes, but people have picked up on random bits of subtext between characters (which is mostly intentional on my part, not gonna lie) and specifically take time to comment on them. It makes me happy to see people reading between the lines. And it also helps me know what the readers like or are really looking for. So... yeah, I'm gonna keep on that path

eli [a winged tale]

Did I miss that in phantomarine?? Howww

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

The subtlest of subtle subtext... which will become far less subtle over time

Nutty (Court of Roses)

i am deliberately pushing my main ship to get ppl into it lmao

YOU WANT THESE TWO TO KISS, I PROMISE

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

GOSH I know this feeling too well I feel like I don't want to overwhelm the readers, but I want them to still realize "...Hmmmmmm, yeah I kinda want this."

eli [a winged tale]

I’m so intrigued now

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

good

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

wait i can't think of anything remotely gay/romantic in phantomarine

besides maybe

phaedra and... cheth?

eli [a winged tale]

The shipping comments in AWT are currently on point at exactly where I want them to be

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i don't believe you would go for that, but shipping enemies is a very common fandom thing

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I wish I had more people shipping my characters because I'm all alone in it right now

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Nutty (Court of Roses) I'm doing the same in Ashes. I'm being super obvious about Anor x Rava being a future couple. XD

So far I haven't really gotten any comments about it. Idk if my readers care about romance at all.

Which is okay, because I don't really write much romance into my comics.

Even though I secretly wish for a bit of shipping from readers.

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I have to find out how visibly and obviously gay the characters have to act before people pick up on it

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

sssfrs, your comic just doesn't feel like the kind of comic people would ship characters in, though. Even the relationship between the captain and the guy that left, though lovely, feels, i don't know, too mature to really ship?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

It's not the focus of the plot though so it's not essential just would be fun

Deo101 [Millennium]

people were shipping page 2 for me so idk

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

That's a fair way to look at it

Deo101 [Millennium]

apparently they need to be next to eachother , in my experience

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think the art style plays a part, too

people were shipping my characters also from page two. But I have a "prettier" style than sssfrs

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, I think the only way readers even know my characters are queer is from the extra art I make of them for Pride month each year. On panel the gay isn't incredibly obvious.

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah, and I do WANT people to ship them so its not like I mind. I like shippers (when they are in line with my plans)

eli [a winged tale]

Yes Deo!! Exactly

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Some characters I think have a great dynamic but I just haven't published enough of the material that shows their chemistry yet so I can't blame anyone for not seeing it

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

^same for me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

looking forward to seeing that in both your comics!

i follow both

eli [a winged tale]

That’s fair ssfrs I’m all for the slow burn

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

It's true that my goal isn't to make the characters visually attractive and appealing in that way as much as in personality and interactions

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I do keep seeing people leave 1* ratings for Eryl on WT and I can't help but wonder if it's homophobes angry about a character sheet I shared that mentioned the character was lovingly raised by two dads. Bc there has been nothing really controversial on-panel in the comic, and I have such a small audience it has no other reason to keep attracting hate.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yeah, that's what i was trying to say. couldn't think of a good way to say that though. but i like your art and feel like it fits your story well

( at sssfrs)

i don't think there are a large number of homophobes on WT. If anything, there's an overabundance of the opposite- fetishists

people leave 1 star on WT for random reasons like you not updating enough

don't worry about it

eli [a winged tale]

Link your webcomics? With <> . Love to check them out

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/puppeteer/list?title_no=290620

Deo101 [Millennium]

I get a lot of fetishists, yeah....

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/dark-wings-eryl/list?title_no=287293

Deo101 [Millennium]

https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/millennium/list?title_no=110866

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Idk, maybe they don't like that I update in traditional pages, then, Who knows

All I know is every time my ratings start crawling back up, suddenly they'll take a big hit.(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

idk, some people just seem to do that kinda thing

I have thought it could be other creators before, too...

trying to make less competition or something. but that would be cruel and I dont like to think someone would do that

so I prefer to think its just someone who didnt like my stuff

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

eh i prefer to think the best of people

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

It's not like I'm super successful or anything. The algorithms haven't been kind to either of my comics so I'm hardly competition.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i'm not going to think it's other creators

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah that's what Im saying

like its popped in my head and then I was like literally who would do that

thatd be reaaaaal messed up

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

hey, how to i add my comic name in paren to my name on this server?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Unfortunately I know a lot of creators who would. They just don't hang out in spaces like these.

Deo101 [Millennium]

just edit your nickname in the options

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Mine is called Joe Is Dead, on here http://joeisdead.com/ and on tapas https://tapas.io/series/JoeIsDead

Deo101 [Millennium]

oh right I actually have another comic. It was on hiatus over a year so I havent gotten into the habit of sharing it...

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yeah, go to the ... next to the server name and it opens up a menu with the 'change nickname' option.

Deo101 [Millennium]

https://tapas.io/series/Time-and-Time-again

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I put the title in my name

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

My other comic is here on WT: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/children-of-shadow-ashes/list?title_no=145048&page=1

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i just don't like dismissing negative feedback. I don't want to get negative reviews and just brush them off as jealous people because i know my comic definitely has room to improve and would rather negative feedback motivate me to look for ways how

got it, thanks!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I love negative feedback. I want to put out the best work I can & hearing what people don't like or don't think is working helps me do that

Deo101 [Millennium]

theres constructive feedback, and then theres people telling me my characters are stupid and I think I can brush the latter off

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Unfortunately, I have been the victim of vicious jealous reviews. I've seen a lot of ugly in the webcomic world over the many years I've been doing this. Some creators be petty.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) hm if i were to give negative feedback about your comic I'd say the biggest things are that you have a lot of characters that in my mind are kind of hard to differentiate, and also it can be really hard to tell where your characters are in space. But those don't matter too much, as they both will probably get better with time. Your biggest strength imo in your dialogue anyways

keii4ii

Not every negative feedback is relevant to my goals, is key for me. It's the whole "you can't please everyone" principle. My target audience does not include every person out there. If my target audience falls in love with what I make, then that's success for me. I don't need to impress the rest of the world.

keii4ii

(Thanks Tatsu.)

Deo101 [Millennium]

You have a different definition of "negative feedback" than I do.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

who are you referring to?(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

You

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

in what way?

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I can usually tell the difference between 'This person has a different idea of what this story should be than I do' and 'This person has it out for me because of jealousy or spite'

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Yeah I've found it really hard to juggle the consistency with where characters are standing all the time. I write out lists of the order they're spatially located in an effort to keep track of them. Hopefully I'll get better with practice

Deo101 [Millennium]

the negative feedback I am talking about is basically straight up hate. Constructive criticism, pointing out the flaws of a work, isnt "negative feedback" by my definition.

so saying "I want negative feedback" means something different for you than it does for me.

i WILL dismiss people being straight up rude to me

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

hm, I feel like a lot of people define negative feedback the same way i do, constructive criticism about what you could do better. If you say you dont want negative feedback you might get people thinking you don't want critique at all. imo what you are referring to might be more clearly just called "hate"

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'll consider it if someone is trying to help, even if most of the time I ignore it

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I also get the random 1 star ratings on Webtoon, so I think some people are just easy to hate stuff(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

yo sssfrs, you keep track of where characters are in space by writing lists??

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

These are probably also the same people who dislike videos habitually on Youtube

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i can't imagine working with that

Deo101 [Millennium]

I actually dont want critique at all.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

it seems so hard

Deo101 [Millennium]

not if I dont ask for it.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Con crit and hate aren't the same thing, though

One is genuinely trying to help you improve, the other is just trying to bring you down.(edited)

And it's okay to not want the former

Deo101 [Millennium]

and I would say "negative feedback" doesnt include con crit

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Just because you make something doesn't mean you have to want people to give crit on it.(edited)

Yeah

I agree, because GOOD con crit is usually polite because if the person knows what they're talking about, they were where you are now and will be nice about it.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

From my experience the best critiques come from other artists doing similar work to you

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i don't think all negative con crit is helpful, either. people also need to know what their strengths are so they know what to keep instead of just what to remove

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

They might not even be trying specifically to be nice about it

But their words feel less hurtful

eli [a winged tale]

I feel like there are comments which are reviews (fair enough, everyone has subjective opinions) but I feel like constructive criticisms should be more private and take place in specific settings (most importantly where the creators are in a position of wanting them)

Nutty (Court of Roses)

@eli [a winged tale] https://courtofroses.spiderforest.com/

eli [a winged tale]

What I think most readers don’t understand or know is that the comic that does make its way to the public quite often has already been through rigorous critique and feedback

Nutty (Court of Roses)

(sorry, was late to that haha, i agree on your feelings about crits)

Deo101 [Millennium]

see, I dont know what you mean by "negative con crit" In my experience, a critique that is negative is not a critique and is more an opportunity for someone to flex.

helpful critiques may FEEL negative, because they are pointing out your flaws, but they arent negative

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i think you're defining "negative" and "hateful" the same way, but other people are not(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

I call them constructive feedback. Then on the other hand, yeah there are negative comments that are there to serve the OP’s sentiments(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I use constructive if it is helpful, and negative if it is harmful

eli [a winged tale]

But I just don’t think the comment platform supports the constructive feedback part. The comments currently represent the OP’s views which are very much subjective. It’s hard to know if they are providing feedback from a place of knowing story structure/art competency

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

critique does mean a lot more when I ask for it from an artist I respect

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. It’s quite an intimate process

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but i can still take casual comments into consideration when trying to improve

things like, it's confusing, or i don't understand what's happening

eli [a winged tale]

I think trust in the critiquer’s background and intention for you to improve are imperative(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

speaking of comments that say the comic is confusing, god i hate getting those comments the most. Because they come from people genuinely trying to read and like my comic and represent a failure of my storytelling skills

eli [a winged tale]

Plus there is a skill/art (no pun intended haha) to giving feedback. That’s a whole nother can of worms

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

but better to hear that and know it than not

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

It's not always a failure of storytelling skills, though. Some people's brains work along a certain line, and when a story is told that doesn't gel with that, it seems confusing to the person. That doesn't mean the writing was bad, it just means that the author communicates differently than the reader.(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

^ thats what I was gonna say

I have a small group of people who I trust who are editors, writers, or artists. I go to them to see if I'm doing the best I can for my goals.

if people get confused then there isnt too much more that I can do...

not saying my work is perfect, of course...

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i can't just brush it off by saying I communicate differently than the reader when I'm trying to communicate to the reader

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

But not every reader is your audience, though

Nutty (Court of Roses)

^^^^

your message sometimes can't reach certain people, and that's not your fault

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

If all the readers are confused, that's one thing. If only a few are, well, your writing style just wasn't for them.

eli [a winged tale]

For sure. Agree Capn and Deo. There’s a lot of work that goes behind the scenes that readers are unaware

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

true true. But there are a few people who have said the same things, so I've taken those to heart and added dialogue that made it more clear. I don't regret that

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Your comic is public, and it's going to be seen by a very wide variety of people with all different kinds of reading comprehension and tastes. You're never going to appeal to all of hem, and plenty won't understand what you're trying to do. But that doesn't mean what you're making is bad. It just means it, like every story, is for a particular audience.

Yeah, if it's a repeated crit, it is something to keep in mind, but just remember that incorporating a crit shouldn't change what you're trying to do, only refine it.

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ive had a couple people say "I'm confused but Im enjoying whats going on" and I dont even know what I would begin to do about that

eli [a winged tale]

I usually trust my beta readers for that. If there are confusing parts then I would ask them how to clarify that best

I think these creator based forums are best to seek feedback and see what could potentially be remedied

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Of course. And I don't think my comic is bad. But one example was when I realized some confusion stemmed from me having a speech bubble that read, "without her," and didn't realize "her" could refer to two different characters which would make what was being said have two very different meanings. It's easy to overestimate how understandable your story is as an author that already knows everything that's going on. I think confusion is a good thing to pay attention to- I've definitely read comics before and dropped them because the author didn't pay enough attention to introducing things to the audience

(also dropped comics because they paid too much attention to introducig things but)

Deo101 [Millennium]

yes, like I said I have a small group of friends who are all writers, editors, and artists who can give me a pretty dang good beta read.

eli [a winged tale]

They are so great. Don’t know what I’d do without them

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

At that point I'd honestly keep going with what you have - there are several stories I've gone into with confusion, but also greatly enjoyed them, or even got less confused over time. Some readers need time to put the pieces together. So long as someone enjoys it on some level, I think that makes the comic successful. Maybe not completely - but not every comic will be everything to all people.

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. Sometimes as well you gotta trust your story writing/art skills.

Deo101 [Millennium]

yup!

and like I'm not doing too bad for my first comic so I think I got something going for me at least.

I understand I have room to grow...

but I would like to keep that to people who I trust wont steer me wrong

eli [a winged tale]

Always room to grow for sure!

Deo101 [Millennium]

and arent just pushing what they want from me on me

eli [a winged tale]

Indeed. Feedback/ beta reading has its own set of skills. There’s always places to improve but the key is to determine specifically where that can be and how feasible(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I remember the first time I read Unsounded, I had absolutely no idea what was going on because of how Ashley structures her world-building. But there were aspects of it that were very engaging, so I stuck with it. After finishing the archives, I went back and reread. Now that I understood what all the terms meant, it made perfect sense on the second go-round. It's now one of my favourite webcomics. Some stories are just told differently, and that's okay.(edited)

eli [a winged tale]

There’s certainly an element of trust you must put to the creators that it’ll all make sense at the end

Deo101 [Millennium]

someone got very mad at me for how I have shown my trans characters so far.. I had to explain that the story isnt done yet, and they have to trust I'll bring it up

it's a WIP and there is some trust that NEEDS to be had

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

lol I have only one artist/writer friend (struggles of working in a non-art career), and she understands everything I write exactly as I intended it and I love it. But she's my friend for a reason- we tend to think the same way and read similar things. Don't think it's wrong to try to cater to a wider audience as well

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Deo101 [Millennium] I wonder if anyone will react once I reveal that Anor is intersex/trans on panel. I'm really hoping I don't find out if any of my readers are transphobes -or- angry that he isn't ostentatiously trans.

Deo101 [Millennium]

someone was mad I didnt show my cyborg transitioning cause it could be so cool of a concept to see his original robot body and I was like literally none of what you said applies to him also thats kinda gross

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Uh

Wut

Deo101 [Millennium]

YEAH

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

There might be some transphobes. But it's worth dealing with them for the people who your comic will resonate with more for having a trans character in it

Deo101 [Millennium]

alsooooo some people might be upset, but then they will leave and you will be left with better people.

Nutty (Court of Roses)

I feel like me having a non-binary character and insisting on correcting everyone who misgenders them deters transphobes away p quickly.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

^^^ some people will dislike, but those who like will really like

and a smaller, better fanbase is better than a larger one that cares less(edited)

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

hear hear

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I'm hoping some will resonate with him! I don't think I've ever seen any intersex rep in any story, so I really want people to know they can have a hero like them.(edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I'm trying to think of stories with intersex rep

I feel like there must be some, but I can't bring any up : /

Sazed from Mistborn is written as though he's intersex, but he clearly identifies as male and the story treating him as intersex actually feels a bit disrespectful

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Me neither. The only thing I've seen in stories is gross 'hermaphrodite' jokes when mocking a cis character.

I really want to give positive representation.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

webcomics have so much lgbt representation. I feel as though I must have seen an intersex character somewhere in there, but I'm not sure I have.(edited)

it feels kind of weird(edited)

I've seen characters that don't have genders because they're gods or whatnot but I feel like that's different

Deo101 [Millennium]

I mean, I have intersex characters I supposed but theyre alien genders so I also think that's different and wouldnt call them intersex

DanitheCarutor

I don't know the whole conversation, but @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios), you'll be fine! Most transphobic people quietly leave, only the really sad, pitiful ones make a stink and their opinions are pretty laughable. If you get crap laugh in their faces like they're morons. I would also say my character Julian is intersex, but I'm not sure how much it counts since it was a recent decision I made (after doing a lot of research) due to readers headcanoning them as an intersex character.

I think I know of a couple other comics with intersex characters if you want to check out some, lemme go look through my lists.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

@DanitheCarutor I'd love to see other comics with intersex representation! And I think Julian totally counts? I don't see a problem with reconsidering a character's sex, gender, or orientation as we become more aware of issues in the world, or even just more aware of our own characters. Webcomics are always a work-in-progress and things change as we go.

eli [a winged tale]

@DanitheCarutor I’d love to know them too!

keii4ii

Re: clarity and confusion, sometimes a small change in wording or such can improve the clarity greatly, and that's great! But I agree that reader confusion doesn't necessarily = failure in storytelling. I've published my comic first in Korean, and a much improved version in English. The cultural difference in the audience has shown to be a huge factor in terms of what's clear and what isn't, or how certain things come across. And that's just one factor.

DanitheCarutor

So I only know of one comic personally, Drop-Out! Sure the characters are anthros, and the bubbles can be hard to read, but it is one of my favorite comics! Of course it's kinda heavy so be aware of that. http://drop-out.thecomicseries.com/ Although I checked out the Webcomic Library tagpacker and found a few. (including Drop-Out) https://tagpacker.com/user/webcomic.library?t=Intersex LGBT Webcomics also has a few that aren't listed in the above list. https://tagpacker.com/user/lgbtwebcomics?t=intersex @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) Lol yeah, I guess so. My readers made me put a lot of thought into it, and after the research being intersex actually fits a lot better with Julian's type of gender dysphoria and confusion than when they were AAB male. It also make some small, more intimate parts of the story feel more natural? It's hard to explain, it just feels better.(edited)

keii4ii

Like, making my work as accessible as possible has never been a goal for me with this story. So to me, it's not a failure that a large number of people can't see parts of the story that aren't being spelled out. I can totally respect "I want my work to be more accessible, so if all these people are not Getting It, then I need to do a better job" as a valid stance. Just not one I'm taking. It's all about individual goals and priorities.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Oh boy, writing a fantasy story with a very developed culture is kinda scary, because NOBODY is going to pick up on cultural nuances except for me(edited)

Deo101 [Millennium]

I DO want my work to be more accessible/reach a wider audience, but that still doesnt mean it will be for everyone, too.(edited)

keii4ii

Not gonna lie, I get a little salty when I see someone claiming their story is "for everyone." I feel like such a claim is disrespectful to different cultures and tastes.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i just started drop out and damn, that's one hell of an opening

Deo101 [Millennium]

Yeah I genuinely don't think it's possible to make a story for everyone lol

like... idk literally just by making it "sci fi" that excludes many people who just don't like sci-fi

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i've never seen anyone claiming their story is for everyone

Deo101 [Millennium]

I feel like just to get to your premise, not even your personal execution you're already super narrowing the people down who will be interested

which is fine!!! and is necessary to accept imo

keii4ii

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) I've seen it. Not often but I've definitely seen it.

I've even seen a creator accuse another person of being heartless because the person was not interested in their Very Emotional And Universally Heartfelt comic, so uhhh yeah

Deo101 [Millennium]

Ope

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Well then

That just sounds like an illusioned creator

Deo101 [Millennium]

I kinda like to think of it like music

I dont like a lot of songs that other people love, it's not that they're bad songs just... not for me(edited)

keii4ii

Yeah! I also think the word "taste" is very fitting

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah for sure

keii4ii

Some of us can eat ghost peppers like popcorns. Others would even avoid like... crackled black pepper

Deo101 [Millennium]

ahahhahaha

mac n cheese has a very wide audience, but some people aren't into it

DanitheCarutor

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Lmao! Drop-Out is quite a unique piece of fiction. I have also seen creators who say their comic is for everyone, then get made when someone isn't interested.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm gonna start saying millennium is like mac n cheese now

keii4ii

@Deo101 [Millennium] That reminds me of "what drink would your comic be" !!

Deo101 [Millennium]

ahahahahah

someone: my comic is WATER EVERYONE NEEDS IT

keii4ii

I answered: "I want HoK to be liquid bacon fat, so that it'll stay in your heart forever."

Deo101 [Millennium]

ew LMAO

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

even if your comic is water, some people don't drink water

Deo101 [Millennium]

but cute? I gues????

DanitheCarutor

That sounds like a fun game, "If your comic were food what would it be?"

Mine would be sardine pizza, only weirdos like it.

Deo101 [Millennium]

next weeks creator babble question

LMSLDJGLASJGK

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@DanitheCarutor its got such good art. The characters are so unique and expressive. Don't think I've seen anyone not use anti-aliasing on such detailed art before, but it works here

almost all webcomics are some weird food. We're niche just by nature

DanitheCarutor

It DOES have great art! And it gets better as you go too, by the time I reached the end then looked back on the first pages for nostalgia it was almost like night and day with the quality.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

fuck, really? but it's so polished already

DanitheCarutor

I mean, I guess that's not something to get excited about, most webcomics get better artwise as they go. Lmao! But still!

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i love how the about page makes this sound like a fun roadtrip adventure

Deo101 [Millennium]

this feels mayble like the wrong chat for this discussion?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

My comic would be a latte: A lot of people like it, but some people will never like coffee.

keii4ii

I can imagine HoK being like Chung Gook Jang soup? It's 1) Korean, 2) it warms you up, 3) it is very polarizing even among Koreans. It's kinda like... imagine miso soup on ultra mega steroid. Like a vegan version of supersharp stinky cheese. And 4) I love it.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

im alphabet soup because i have a fuckton of dialogue

Deo101 [Millennium]

I'm actually gonna stick with mac n cheese. a bit childish, but it's nice! you can do some fun things with it to shake things up, but it's still cheese and noodles.

keii4ii

Mac n cheese is amazing.

Deo101 [Millennium]

I love mac n cheese.

another reason why it's my comic! I love it, and it's something I can actually make

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

As for food, WotP would definitely something like authentic Mexican tacos. Again, generally well-received, but can be a bit intense for a lot of people

keii4ii

I really like food analogies. Sometimes it's not Gordon Ramsey you're trying to impress. Sometimes you want to make something you and/or your loved ones will enjoy, and if that's "WAY too much [ingredient]!!!!" for everyone else out there, that's not a flaw!

Deo101 [Millennium]

yeah! :D

keii4ii

That's actually good food for thought (no pun intended): what niche aspects does your comic contain? How/why are they niche?

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) How do you do it?

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

I think I once described mine as a corrupted tropical cocktail. On the surface: sweet, pretty, very colorful - but all the ingredients used to make it are rotten

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I thought of Cricket as intersex for a long time and I still don't know exactly where I stand on that.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I draw a diagram of where characters/ furniture are from above. Niche things: Most conflicts are resolved through anticlimactic conversation. Also there's this huge bit about consensual mind control. I wrote the comic I'd want to read, and somehow found a few people like me to follow along

I also usually don't have more than 2 characters interacting

so it's easier for me

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I have so many busy group scenes with people moving around. The most recent chapter was kind of a mess also because I wasn't really sure about the dimensions of the space they were all in

This scene was also pretty rushed in general

Re: intersex characters I feel like I've been shying away from that because I don't feel like I know enough about the topic to adequately represent intersex people

Joe Is Dead has a really specific aesthetic to it but I don't know how to define that niche. It's definitely something

Deo101 [Millennium]

I honestly could not answer that question about what niche things my comic contains. I don't know what about my comic is mainstream or not, I'm just making what I want to see and not really worrying about stuff like that.

keii4ii

For me, having an idea of what's niche about my comic actually lessens my worries!

It's a "okay, so I know these things are niche, which means people not liking or even getting those things =/= my failure!" kinda thing for me!

But I can also see how not thinking about what's niche or not can lessen the worries for others, too.

Deo101 [Millennium]

mhm, for me it means I can just go "well I like it anyways sooooooooo"

keii4ii

Yeah, that's the destination! We're just taking different routes to get there

Deo101 [Millennium]

I also genuinely just have a hard time determining whether or not something is niche

even if I thought about it for a while (I've been thinking about it since you asked, and I have thought about it before" I genuinely couldnt pinpoint it for you...

keii4ii

I used to beat myself up very badly every time someone didn't like a thing about my comic

Deo101 [Millennium]

D:

keii4ii

and "oh, 1) this is subjective, 2) I like it like this, and 3) my liking of it is valid" was how I crawled out of that hole

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I don't know if my comic is specifically niche, unless you count "low fantasy" (or essentially fantasy with less magic and such) as niche

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

My comic has a lot of specific nautical and history content that you could call niche

Also surrealism

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

i would call Joe Is Dead "niche," but not WoTP

I've read both

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I... used to think my comics weren't niche. Ohohohohoho how wrong I was!

Deo101 [Millennium]

Id say millennium isnt niche then it's basically just gay sci fi it's p straightforward

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

My comics are very, incredibly, undeniably niche.

DanitheCarutor

@sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD) It is difficult to understand if you're not intersex yourself, even though I studied a lot before making the decision about my character I still don't know if I'll represent the topic properly. The best you can really do is get into researching all the medical stuff, talk to people willing to share their experiences with being intersex, and watch videos of people talking about it from a professional and personal perspective. The hardest thing to get right about something so subjective and personal is that everyone's experiences are different, so no matter how much you research you just gotta do your best with the info you have, then figure out how your character would experience it personally.(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I don't think anything magical happens until Chapter 11 of WotP, now that I think about it

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Also @DanitheCarutor thank you for the links!! I'll have to give those comics a look!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I’m still backreading and I just saw the food question, that is great

JID would be saltcod

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ooooh

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

Or like pickled herring maybe

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Bacalao

Noice

(Bacalao = Puerto Rican salted cod)

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

They have it in spain too iirc

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Ashes would be very bitter black coffee someone forgot to drink and it's just been sitting there for two days. Eryl would be well-aged wine spiked with tabasco sauce.

DanitheCarutor

Sorry for derailing. Anyways, I feel like my entire comic is just a ball of niche? The subject matters are uncommon and the main characters are awful and unreliable, but that's my aesthetic so I'm sticking to it. I've never particularly cared about people liking my comic due growing up not being liked myself (you kinda get over it after a while), but I do like finding people like me. @Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios) No problem! I hoard stuff like that, so I probably have a link for everything.

Urm, I don't mean I like finding unlikable people like me, I mean people who like the same types of stories as me.

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Honestly, Dani, I connect to your comic quite a lot, for what it's worth!

DanitheCarutor

Thank you! ;v; In a way it's kind of nice having a comic that doesn't fit in. It tends to stand out, especially with my choice of medium. Although at the same times it's really hard to get feedback that applies to what you're doing! Arg!

keii4ii

It is such a Struggle, for sure -- getting relevant feedback

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

I feel you! I'm in the same boat with Ashes. It's also incredibly niche and there just aren't that many pencil comics out there- coloured or graphite.

DanitheCarutor

Being a creator who likes feedback, but also likes making niche content, is so hard! Why can't everyone like niche content??

Lmao!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

As niche as the setting and tone of Joe Is Dead are, the main story arc is a very generic hero adventure thing that I hope will appeal to wide audiences

eli [a winged tale]

Niche content

I’d love to know more! What niches are you exploring?

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

The nicest thing anyone's said about Super Galaxy Knights Deluxe R http://sgkdr.thecomicseries.com/comics/ is that they really became invested in the characters. Like, that's the kind of story I want to make - the kind where the characters really stick with you.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

As for what food my comic would be... I'd say squid ink pasta. It's the kind of food that makes you go "what the heck is going on here" if you're new to it, but once you actually eat it you'll (hopefully) go "oh, that made way more sense than i expected and was actually pretty tasty"

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I don't know if you're talking to me directly but I'm using a lot of maritime history and literature stuff that I've been obsessed with for a long time as the setting of the story, and then the whole thing has a really morbid and nihilistic tone, while also somehow being funny because I have a background in comedy/satire writing

And then heavy biblical themes

It's essentially a Renaissance period retelling of the Joseph story from the bible

With pirates instead of shepherds

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

For me, I’m not even sure what niche Ashes belongs to. (https://www.flowerlarkstudios.com/cos/) It’s dark, it’s weird, it has a twisty plot that slowly trickles information, and it’s an odd mash-up of genres. I often try to describe it as Miss Peregrine’s Peculiar Children meets Farthing Wood. It’s mostly urban fantasy with some horror elements and talking animals. Basically it’s about a bunch of unaging teenagers with supernatural, angel-gifted powers and a bunch of woodland critters fighting (although so far it’s more running from) eldritch monsters. But it’s main focus is on each character battling either mental illness or some other kind of inner demon.

keii4ii

There's also the aspect of: what's niche in one culture may not be niche in another. In Korean media, Fantastical Old Korea is a very common setting for all sorts of genres: gag a day, romance, all-ages adventure, gritty crime drama, zombie apocalypse, you name it. If the work spends a lot of visuals showing mundane everyday moments, often that's a shorthand for "sit down and stay a while; this is a heartfelt tale that takes its time." My comic uses such a setting. When I began to publish it in English, I was surprised that people were expecting it to be one of these AND NOTHING ELSE: a) exciting magical action adventure b) mythology-driven, all about gods and spirits My comic is neither of those. It definitely contains elements of adventure, but that's the plate the meat is served on, not the meat itself. So I guess the usage of the setting is niche.

Like, imagine a civilian life drama set in WWII time. The civilian MC may have a family member or a close friend in the military, but the story focuses on the MC's experience. Imagine presenting that story and people expect it to be... military action? Not a perfect analogy, but hopefully a good enough one.

Kelsey (Kurio)

To be fair, Korea would find fantastical old Korea less exotic than those outside of Korea heh

keii4ii

That is definitely a factor. Even today, you can find semi-Old Days-like places IRL within like... 3 hours of drive.

I'm weirded out that my culture is considered exotic, but it is what it is

(To clarify, weirded out =/= offended.)

Kelsey (Kurio)

Well any culture can be exotic to people outside of that culture

As an outsider looking in, it can be fascinating to learn about a culture I don't know much about

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Anything unfamiliar is usually considered exotic. I know in both England and America, I never really learned anything about any Asian country growing up. I had to seek out the info myself, and as it was very unfamiliar to me, it seemed exotic!

Kelsey (Kurio)

Especially their myths and stories

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Oops, exactly what Kelsey said, I typed too slow.

keii4ii

Yeah, the thing is I've been told I should not be using this setting to tell this story because it's a doomed combination. But ehh, I decided not to listen to that. This story with this setting and all of its elements is what I wanted to read.

carcarchu

slice of life set in a historical setting sounds really refreshing actually(edited)

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

But I know I’d probably feel strange if someone told me New York was exotic!

carcarchu

sometimes historical settings can get really bogged down by politics and whatever other drama, having a quiet slow paced story set in the same kind of world is something i'd be interested in reading

Kelsey (Kurio)

Nothing wrong with trying the approach you want to

Who knows, you might end up with a unique combo that helps your work stand out

Cap’n Lee (Flowerlark Studios)

Yup. I’m a firm believer in writing the kind of story you’d want to read. No matter how niche.

Tuyetnhi

Totes agreed on this. For me, when I had to drop my dark drama series for my romance story, folks were like "Dang, I thought you like writing dark things!"

I do, but romance comics.... [clenches chest]. I also want to write a story that I want to read so lmao. Dream lover elements along with some dark horror influences is something I want to try doing lol

carcarchu

this is not a webcomic but try reading coelacanth if you're interested in the combination of horror with romance @Tuyetnhi

Tuyetnhi

ooo I'll keep that in mind

carcarchu

it's really so unique i love coelacanth so much

Tuyetnhi

is it a novel? :0

carcarchu

it's a manga

Tuyetnhi

aaa

Yeah I probably check it out sometime lmao

back on the idea tho, I also wanted to add some Vietnamese influences in the mix since there's not a lot of stories about Vietnamese disapora, so that's included in the cauldron lol

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@keii4ii what's your comic? I wanna check it out(edited)

keii4ii

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) It's https://heartofkeol.com/

(I get extremely nervous whenever I know someone is checking out my comic for the first time )

DanitheCarutor

To answer @eli [a winged tale] question. I'm delving into stuff like mental illnesses and disorders, medical illnesses, abuse, trauma and later on, self-care. The comic itself is slow and character centric, I guess you can say it's like a character study. The story can be really depressing depending on who is reading, and it has some softcore horror bits sprinkled in. I'm kind of a nerd for mental health, sad stuff and everything medical so I figured I may as well make a story embellishing those interests. In short it's a sad, character driven, psychological drama about two extremely flawed individuals. Not particularly exciting compared to all the other webcomics out there, but somebody has to make that one pretentious, psychological slice of life piece.

keii4ii

What compounds my issues is that my comic does have enough adventure elements for someone to mistake it for an underwhelming adventure story. "This is an adventure story but there's not enough adventure in it?" kinda thing.

@DanitheCarutor Character studies FTW!!! Yours has been on my 'gotta check this out' list for a long time now!

Tuyetnhi

Oooo

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I also am a fan of psychological stories

Especially if they're sad(edited)

Tuyetnhi

Kei idk why but I was reminded of .hack SIGN when u said that

"there's so much talking! where's the action?!?"

keii4ii

@Tuyetnhi That's actually not a terrible comparison -- though .hack//SIGN has other issues that my comic hopefully doesn't have XD

Tuyetnhi

I'm pretty sure it's miles better than that old anime lmao

DanitheCarutor

@keii4ii Pff I need to check out your comic too! I remember reading it at one point, but I don't remember what happened to make me lose track. From what little I remember I really liked it.

keii4ii

The thing with .hack//SIGN was it had a lot of promises of mystery that never went anywhere, within SIGN. I've heard those mysteries do go somewhere within the franchise, but you had to watch/read the entire franchise, which I wasn't going to do. I hope my comic will be a good read on its own, when finished.

Tuyetnhi

sadly, I was one of those suckers that went to consume the .hack games and mangas to get some context from SIGN in the late 2000's lmao

I hope the same as mine, despite being mostly saccharine and self-indulgent nature lmao

keii4ii

Self-indulgence is a strength of indie comics.

eli [a winged tale]

I love all the themes y’all explore! They’re so important

Tuyetnhi

I feel like I have a reason for everything when working on that comic but if that's what it boils down to, I'll take it lol

keii4ii

TBH I produce my best writing and art when I focus on pleasing myself.

Because if I'm trying to please others, I don't even know what they want, so I waste my energy panicking.

But when I'm creating for my inner reader, I can be self-critical in a productive manner!

Tuyetnhi

so true ya

RebelVampire

Hey guys. I kind of feel as this has deviated a smidgen too far from the topic, so maybe reel it in just a smidgen. XD(edited)

Desnik

so the nicest thing anyone's ever said about my comic is that they wanna read more :3

I kinda dread reader dropoffs so the will to see the whole story through fills me with joy

[brynwrites]

Ask compilation time again!

Topics covered:

Writing experiences you haven’t had yourself

Nonbinary characters

Figuring out how many novels your plot requires

When you get stuck on an idea

Finding your target audience

Token diversity 

Also:

I promise to (attempt to) tag spoilers

Something I can’t even fathom

A nice message, but not from a moose, unfortunately

I haven’t updated my ask queue page, so if you don’t see your ask there then it’s probably collecting dust in my inbox xP

Writing experiences you haven’t had yourself

Anon asked: I’m currently writing a story and a secondary character is someone who has been abused. I’ve done lots of research and I’m continuing to do so (reading psychology reports, peoples own experience, whatever I can find) as I haven’t gone though the abuse my character has but someone recently told me I shouldn’t write this character because I haven’t gone through it myself. I don’t want to through this character away because he plays a massive role in the development of my mc. Any advice?

1. Ignore this person. They probably mean well but they aren’t helping anyone by gatekeeping. 

2. Try to find beta readers who have a close connection to the the abuse this character faces or who have also done large amounts of research so they can double check things for you.

Nonbinary characters

Anon asked: I want to write a novel with a non binary protagonist, because I feel like it would really fit them and the plot, but I don't really know much about non binary identities. Could you maybe explain a few of them...? I just feel like this question is better answered by a nb person. I've been thinking about making them genderfluid, but I don't know if that would be fitting.

In all honesty, nonbinary people don’t tend to fit in their labels well. Within any given NB label, presentation, pronouns, and more varies drastically. There’s really no wrong way to write a nonbinary character as long as they act like any other fully formed human being. This wiki site has some basic definitions, and these two posts [ x | x ] I’ve written recently cover more.

One thing I will say here though is this: Nonbinary people are not made up of anything different from binary people -- they have the exact same brains which grant the same strengths and flaws and loves and fears and everything else that humans experience -- and therefore they’re the right characters for any plot, setting, genre, etc. That’s not to say that we as writers don’t often get feelings that certain characters have a particular identity or so on, but I see a lot of times were someone thinks a story is right for a nonbinary protagonist particularly because there’s something plot relevantly ‘weird’ with the protagonist's gender or gender expression. Nonbinary characters should not be limited to stories where their nonbinary-ness is a important to the story. 

Figuring out how many novels your plot requires.

Anon asked: How do you know if your plot will be enough for a novel or multiple novels (even after outlining)?

1. How many climactic peaks does it have?

2. How many distinct character development arcs does it have?

Each novel needs to rise in tension until reaching the climactic point, in which the character fulfills or denies their development. At the start of the next book, the tension may or may not fall quite a lot. If instead, you have a dramatic fall of tension somewhere in the second half of act two, that’s no good, nor is having a character arc which ends at any point prior to the climax. 

Learn more splitting up a series into individual books. Learn more about character arcs.

When you get stuck on an idea

Anon asked: Hi! I have this problem when I write something I get stuck on something and don’t see other options, for example, if my first idea for some story is to start it with description of morning I will stick to it and will rewrite it over and over again but don’t even consider and option to start is somehow else. I hope it doesn’t sound strange and that you can understand it. So how to start seeing other options and not get too attached to something?

Whenever you go to rewrite anything for the first few weeks/months (depending on how often you’re rewrite things), stop and brainstorm at least five other options you could use in place of rewriting whatever you originally had. Don’t let yourself rewrite the original until you have these five options written down. 

To challenge yourself further, every few times you do this brainstorming, write out one of these new options in full instead of rewriting the original concept, even if this means you have to write entire chapters you won’t end up using. You’ll learn a lot by making yourself move outside your comfort zone and eventually your brain will start to do the brainstorming on its own. 

Finding your target audience

Anon asked: Hey I'm sure this could apply to writing as well but I'm currently writing a webcomic and as much as I want to advertise it on my blog I'm not sure if people would be interested because overall it's about teenage life, nothing more nothing less and I'm not sure how interesting of a concept that is to anyone. I also started out as a fandom blog and I'm pretty sure a lot, if not all of my followers followed me because I post about the fandom and nothing else.

Every concept is interesting to someone. I don’t know which fandoms you focus on with your fandom blog, but I would suggest looking for fandoms for contemporary YA books (on the ‘less romance’ scale) and similar slice-of-life teen-oriented stories, and connecting with the people in those fandoms on a personal level, because they will be your target audience. 

They will almost certainly only follow you for the fandom blogging unless you become friends with them. Genuine friends who are also your target audience will support your original work to hell and back, and they’ll form a platform for you which other people will be more willing to climb on once they see your original work is already being adored by others.

Token diversity 

Anon asked: Hello! What are some ways to tell apart checklisting from being diverse? Like, putting in POC and mogai characters just to say you did and earn brownie points from the audience? I appreciate the input, thank you <3

My general opinion is this: If you (and the groups represented) can’t tell that diversity is being shoehorned into a book for the sake of brownie points, then it’s diversity, no matter what the author meant it as.

If it’s a well researched and positive representation and it does good for the people it represents, then it’s good.

Working backwards from this definition, some things which might trigger alarms would be:

The use of negative stereotypes.

Diverse background characters supporting an able-bodied cishet white cast.

Members of the represented group telling you that the diverse characters from their group are bad representations.

Diverse characters being less fleshed out or more commonly killed off compared to the other characters.

Tagging spoilers

Anon asked: Friend, could you tag incoming spoilers please, I havent yet got to read these latest Riordan books and wanted to keep whatever queer stuff would be there for a surprise, and whoever the character would be as well

Sorry about that! I will try to tag spoilery content better in the future.

I can’t even fathom

Anon asked: How old are you? Boy or girl?

Excuse you, I'm an immortal Norse trickster deity (without the bestiality), and you do not ask deities their age, thank you very much.

Definitely not moose

@isnotmoose​ said: Hi, Bean! This isn't a question, I just wanted to say hi and hope you were having a good day (or night) :) I also love your blog, it's super helpful!

I’m not sure if you’re calling me a bean of if that was an auto-correction, but either way I approve this message very much. You have a wonderful day/night yourself! <3

[akaaiakai-blog]

Just a small update of my recent University life: - I had to go to the Clinic last Friday for a migraine crisis, but Im okay now. The new pills I was given for peophilaxis make me a bit drowzy though, but the headaches have not come back - I decided to stop being a sedentary potato panda and started going to the gym! It has been a month already and I've lost about 1-2Kg (wasn't really overweight, but wanted to fix my muscle/fat ratio). I hope to continue with this habit though - For now, Im passing all my classes (yay!) But I need to study hard to keep it that way! - I miss sleeping, cooking, sewing, playing pc games lol - I REALLY miss drawing and doing commissions. Because of Uni I havent been able to even pick up the tablet let alone draw, yet the thoughts of drawing keep flowing. Regarding this I might buy a small notebook to draw when I have free time and MIGHT open a few comi slots. This is only brainstorming though: 1 They would be donation based (like, Ko-fi and such) 2 Probably free wing, chibi-ish style 3 Traditional art, black lines with one or two colors I'll think about the possibility of opening donation slots. It will depend on my free time and my dexterity on traditional art (since its been a loong time since I last picked up a pencil to draw lol) In case anyone is interested, I'll probably upload some samples when I buy the notebook and doodle a bit. I hope you're having a nice day/night! Picture of my smol cat Lisa. Ain't she a small catbun?

[healthimind]

God, I feel like the only time I ever write in my life is when the shit hits the fan. In part, I believe its because I use writing as a way to express how I’m feeling, it helps me to put all my negative emotions into something and vent without having to necessarily feel bad that I have just word vomited all my feelings and thoughts onto someone. Writing has always been my way of dealing and coping with the things going on around me. Whether that’s related to family, friends, a breakup, my personal struggles - I can’t say I have a great way with words...but that’s not what my writing is about, nor is that why I write. It’s generally quite simple and straight to the point. 

Its about freeing space in my head and knowing that I’ve put all that’s inside in a safe place on a page, or screen. 

But i’ve also realised that i’d like to write about the good things and the positive. I would like to remember the things I did, and more than that I want to remember what I thought in those particular moments, how I felt. I don’t think i do enough of that. As a matter of fact, I know I don’t do enough of that because if I was to scroll through any of the numerous posts I have made throughout my presence here - they would undoubtedly all be about negative emotions. 

But, like I said before - I vent when i write. i write everything I cannot say to anyone. Not because I’m afraid of any judgement that might be passed my way. No. I believe its primarily because I don’t want to pass on MY negativity onto other people. It’s my, personal, negativity and they have nothing to do with it. Nor are they the responsible ones to listen to me vent every so often. And that’s why I love writing. It’s not about seeking advice about a particular problem - what I reach that point, im more than happy to talk to people and brainstorm the possible solutions. But that’s not where I am at the moment. 

I’ve felt this distance from family. From mum and dad. I feel like no matter what they do I get frustrated and irritated. I think a large part of the way I feel about them comes form the shit that they have going on between them. I’m seeing the neverending loop that they’ve created for themselves where they are unhappy, they argue, its a matter of a millisecond when a conversation can go from being perfectly normal (normal is a relative term in my family), but lets say being calm to being a volcanic eruption.  Seriously, I often wonder how I never learned to adapt to this over the years? How have I not found a better way of dealing with their shit? How am I still so affected by their arguments, mood swings, mine-fucking-fields? 

And yet everytime I write about things like this, I don’t seem to be any closer to figuring it out. Maybe i’m doing something wrong? Maybe I need to change the way I write and the way I explore this head and heart of mine. 

I know one thing - I bite my nails out of frustration. I’ve realised that much. and it also only stems from them. I don’t want to blame them for my habit that I can break, but relapse every time things get too overwheling. There is nothing about biting my nails that is soothing of calming; if anything, its even more frustraing because half way through doing the behaviour I realise that I’m doing it and that half of my nail of eaten off and well that just perpetuates the cycle of frustration. 

And I feel like in this writing I have covered five different topics, neither one particularly related or relevant to the other - but that’s OK. At least i’m getting things off my chest - and I will, hopefully, be able to leave it all here, go to bed and start tomorrow fresh. 

I don’t want to let these feeligns govern my days and cloud how i’m feeling. And the thing is - that is exactly what they’re doing. And it’s in part becasue when I come home from work - I am in exactly the same environment as I was when I left - nothing has changed. And its not that nothing has changed from yesterday to today - its that nothing has changed for years. I’m also struggling to grasp how people live like that. I often think about this and I only ever hope to have the courage and strength to leave and get out of any situation that is making me this misrable. And it is, it’s making them both incredibly misrable. Neither one is happy with the current situation. Neither one wants to be in this relationship and yet neither one of them is doing anything about it. And i’m not advocating for divorce, separation or anything drastic like that - but doing something, anything - trying to make things better. Nope. I don’t know how they expect to see a difference in their relationsihp when NOTHING is changin. NOTHING. NOT. ONE. THING. and I know this because I’ve been the witness of their relationship for the past...27 years. Ok maybe give it the last 15 that I can say counts and I can (not fondly) remember. 

I think i’m also tired of going around in circles. Having the same discussions, talks, plans. Yes, lets discuss the trees you want to plant in the garden (the 5 lemons, 3 lime, 4 mandarin trees, 2-3 figs, peaches etc). Oh but no, lets not do anything about this for months - just talk about it. and confirm after every conversation that those are the plants you want to get. Lets confirm, for the 100th time the place where you would like to plant those trees. And then lets not do anything about them. They are YOUR plants. It is YOUR project. Am I the only one here that thinks its OK to have your own projects that the whole family doesn’t need to be a part of? Like, its OK that you want to plant those trees - go and do your research, buy them, plant them, water them...do what ever you want with them, but just DO SOMETHING. 

Same thing with buying a phone. For the love of God, I cannot have another discussion about that. Its like he doesn’t want to buy a phone...and he prides himself if having the money to buy the phone but not doing it. And I dont get it. WHAT AM I MISSING??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! And how do I know he doesn’t want to buy a phone? because everything he does suggests so. He says he wants to buy a phone - asks me to do the research behind it and then, changes the battery to a new one becuase his one is like every other iphone battery - crap. The lock button stops working as does the headphone jack and what does he do? he spends $100 to fix it all. Now its not about the money and spending $130 to fix the little bits to make the phone (which he has memory and internet issues with) last longer. I dont get it. It’s not like he bought a brand new phone a month ago and now iphon 8 has come out and he wants it. No, he has the iphone 4s....and its giving in, one piece of hardware at a time. So, then there we are again - talking about him getting the new phone, but then not really beacuse he’s just spent $100 fixing this one and he doesn’t want to be one of the first ones to have the new phone...because, god knows why. Don’t worry - you wont be. There are about 342974023 other people in the world who have pre-ordered them. But then I think i’m being an absolute asshole who instead of appreaciating this quality and seeing it in a positive way - is putting a negative spin on it and looking at it through the negative lense. Why? Is it because I feel like my time is wasted having talked about the same thing, AGAIN, or is it because I’m sick of my parents not being able to make a decision and stick to it. You’re buying a phone - just make up your mind and do it. The world is not going to fall if you make and execute a decision. Trust me. I feel bored and frustrated having to have these same disussions. The same goes for renovating the kitched...painting the interior of the house - i cannot count the number of times we’ve talked about doing this - at least 20...and yet - absolutely nothing is being done. NOTHING. We havent even moved a milimeter. No dad, bringing home a prospectus of some company X that will charge an arm and a leg and then asking me to go onto their website to have a look at everything - no, thant is not making progress. That is you superficially finding something and then delegating and passing on the task to me. To do all the time-wasting research which wont result in anything other than - it’s too expensive. Should we invest in this kitchen - are we even going to stay here? Are we selling the house? What are we doing with our lives? Aaagh. and we are back to square one. But no, you can do that research too. You are more than competent to research your news paper online - you can google this. Ooooh but no, the language is a barrier, not knowing how to use the app, the phone, the ipad. You know what, that’s another thing that gets on my nerves. This constant need to be shown how to do thigs on the iphone, ipad. CMON people! These devices were designed for idiots! Kids under the age of 5 use them!!! KIDS. Yeah, the little people that cant count to 20. They use them with ease. So why cant you? And the most common response I get is, well just think about all the things we had to teach you and ha ha ha oh look how its all coming back. Yeah, the only difference is that when you were teaching me you had the expectation that I would LEARN and we wouldn’t be going over the same things over and over and over again - 5 years down the line. The only difference is that I learned. I had to. and you, for some reason, dont feel like you have to. And that “some reason” being your dependency on me always being here. Here to fix the phone, here to fix the ipad, here to call vodafone, here to call tower...enough. ENOUGH PLEASE. You’ve used your immigration status as an excuse to not learn anything new, to boycot technology - which is the driving force of the time we live in. Do I love it - no. Do I need it - yes. and that’s where the story end. I need it and therefore I will learn what I need to. You talk about being sick that you have to depend on me, or someone to help you with things. Do you know how you overcome that? BY LEARNING. By WANTING TO KNOW. By being interested. You have to WANT TO be independent, self-reliant in order to be it. and don’t get me wrong, that doesn’t mean that I am never there to help and i just tell you to google things that you dont know. Absolutely not, but for the love of God, show some initiative. Show me that you’ve tried - that you’ve gone - hey, i’ve done this this and this and its still not working. What am I doing wrong - and then we’ll look at it together. but dont just come to me after hte first hiccup with your hands up in the air holding a white flag. 

Oh and while I am on the topic of doing something after the first hiccup - what is your deal with coming and waking me up in the morning to tell me ridiculously UNIMPORTANT things? No dont wake me up. Respect that i’m sleeping and if what you have to tell me isn’t a matter of life or death - please, realise that it can wait an hour or two while I wake up and then we can talk about it. I dont want to be jumped before having even opened my eyes, with something that is so minor and irrelevant in the bigger scheme of things. How do I put all this nicely? How do I say this in a way that is encompased in love, care, compassion, and understanding? 

I am sick of being told I am harsh and judgemental and unreasonable. I’m that way becuase I can’t handle all the things that are constantly thrown at me. I am sick of seeing what the problem is and knowing that nothing will ever be done about it. How do you not understand that that’s extremly difficult to deal with and handle? How is that such a foreign concept to you? Anyway - I know that I need to be more compassionate and kind - but I struggle to find those feelings and reserves of understanding for you. And that, in general, makes me incredibly sad. To think that I have the capacity to be that for everyone else, but you. Even though I know that those people are the same as you. They are probably running around in their own circles and neverending loops. 

So, lets start here - I WILL BE A BIGGER PERSON, FOR MYSELF. I WILL NOT LET OTHERS DARKEN MY ENERGY AND FREQUNCY. I WILL NOT RESOND BLINDLY TO THE PROVOCATIONS OF OTHERS. THESE WILL ALWAYS BE THERE, AROUND ME. WHAT I WILL DO IS TAKE A COUPLE OF SECONDS TO GROUND MYSELF IN ANY SITUATION. I WILL TAKE DEEP BREATHS AND I WILL THINK BEFORE RESPONDING. I WILL REMEMBER THAT THEIR ENERGY ISN’T MINE AND I DON’T, BY ANY MEANS, NEED TO EMBRACE AND BECOME IT. NO. I HAVE MY OWN ENERGY, I HAVE MY OWN BUBBLE AND I WILL CHOSE WHAT COMES THRUGH. IF I’M IN A SHITTY MOOD - THATS DIFFERENT. IN THAT CASE, I WILL NOT PROJECT IT ONTO THER PEOPLE - BUT I WILL BE ABLE TO SEPRARETE THE TWO AND KNOW THAT I AM THE ONE THAT IS IN THE BAD MOOD - AND THE OTHER PERSON ISN’T RESPONSBILE FOR IT, NOR ARE THEY THE DESIGNATED TARGET OF IT. SO, I WILL STEP BACK - I WILL CONSCIOUSLY BE PRESENT AND AWARE THAT i NEED TO SEPARATE MY MOOD AND APPROACH THEM IN A NEUTRAL WAY. 

WHEN IT COMES TO FAMILY - THIS IS ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT. I NEED TO PRACTICE KINDNESS, APPRECIATION, COMPASSION, AND LOVE. FOR WHAT AND WHO THEY ARE. FOR WHAT THEY DO. I KNOW I FORGET THIS - AND SO I BELIEVE ITS IMPORTANT THAT I REMIND THEM AS WELL AS MYSELF. I NEED TO FIND A WAY TO DO THIS. I KNOW I AM NOT THE BEST WITH WORDS - IN TERMS OF SPEAKING - BUT WRITING, WRITING I CAN DO. SO I WILL NEED TO THINK ABOUT THAT. I ALSO NEED TO REMEMBER THAT EVERYTHING THEY DO - THEY DO OUT OF LOVE. SO WHEN THEY SAY WE DONT SEE YOU  - ITS BECAUSE THEY WANT TO SPEND QUALITY TIME TOGETHER. I WILL FIND TIME TO BE TOGETHER AND MAKE IT COUNT. I WILL NOT BE AN ASSHOLE I NAMCOR TO THEM BECUSE THEY DONT DESERVE IT. I NEED TO KEEP DEVELOPING IN THIS EMOTINOAL INTELLIGENCE SPACE AND WHILE THEY MAY NOT HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE - I DO. AND THAT IS SOMETHING I CAN USE TO BOTH MINE AND THEIR ADVANTAGE. I CAN STEP UP MY GAME AND NOT LET THINGS GET OUT OF HAND. THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN DO AND IF IT CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE I WILL DO IT.