#this is how finishing my BFA thesis went

[mistoffelous]

             i took a nap and my migraine’s gone and i’m feeling better! thank you for ur love and support !   i don’t usually like to vent on tumblr, but there’s just a lot of stuff that’s building up for me and kinda wanted to air my thoughts w/o blowing out on one person. i fully dont expect for anyone to actually read most of this but like . . .   i just felt like i wanted to talk abt it without having a conversation about it. 

i’m probably going to actually have a breakdown at one point and it’d be a long time coming, but i don’t feel like it’s really going to be a bad thing. it’s just something i acknowledge is going to happen to me and i’m like... whatever. of course i’m going to have a breakdown at one point. all my classmates are going to have it. i’m doing a thesis film this year and the process is so stressful that my professor said that every student in the class last year had cried at least once in one point of the process. 

so yeah, i’m doing my senior film for animation this year. i have exactly two semesters to do the writing, visual development, character design, storyboards, animatic, rough animation, composition, backgrounds, clean up, color, compositing, sound design, music, post-production for a film that will be likely around three minutes long. 

it’s a lot ! it’s a whole lot and on top of that i’m going to be working part-time and i’ll have three other classes. i had meant to get started on the process during the summer, hoping to get a head start or at least some practice in and i didn’t. i have literally finished one animation all summer and not even half of an animatic. 

i went back to school feeling drained from the summer. my job took a lot of energy from me and i basically already feel burnt out. and quite franky, i’m at a point where i am like, fuuccking sick of my art. i’m looking at this shit and i cant believe my eyes, like i’m supposed to be good at illustration? hello, i’m not ! i dunno, like some of you might argue that i am, but if i am, then i’m not good enough. i get it, that we’re all improving and that me being sick of my art is just my perception improving to a point where my physical capabilities haven’t caught up. i heard that spiel before, i’m an art student. i’ve given it to people.

but i’m also one year away from having to compete with professional level m’fuckers and i think my shit looks awful. like i just flat out dont know how to draw. and it’s coming at a point where i’m questioning how much i even want to draw in the first place. i dont know if i wanted to be an art student because i loved drawing, or if it was because it was the literally only marketable skill i was ever good at. but does it even matter? i’m almost done w/ my degree. in less than a year, i’ll have a BFA in animation / illustration and i’ll have to figure out what that means in a career level. 

besides that, having to think about school again, balancing work, and like.. my birthday is in three days. i’ve been just :O over it because it snuck up on me and i feel like i’ve just been wasting time. my mom’s been trying to get me to plan a mini-vacation / trip because my birthday falls on labor day weekend but the act of planning shit out is stressful too. 

i’m at a stage in my life where i feel really tired. i think i suddenly grew up a lot, especially in the past three months. and maybe it’s hubris of me to say but i feel very competent. like my friends come to me for advice, and i somehow already know the answers to their questions about jobs, or how to handle relationships, living independently. i feel like i grew up too much. i feel like i’m too young to feel this mature (and i’m reluctant to use that word.) i feel like i deserved to have more time to be a useless little kid that enjoyed life. 

but i have an absent father and a mother that had the emotional maturity of a teenager. i raised myself and then i had to raise my mom. ahah ! 

[echelonlab-blog]

Chucks and Coffee

Submission by @conceptuallyloud

+ I write a lot but I’ve never written fanfiction before; this is my first go at it! It was lots of fun to write. This is a piece that flashes back to when 20 year old Jared was at art school. We don’t talk enough about art student Jared so I took action +

Rain; I don’t particularly enjoy it, nor do I hate it. However, if I’m directly under the downpour with nothing to shield me from the onslaught of the heavy droplets, I most certainly hate it. I held on to my drawing carrier with all my might, squinting as the drops fell onto my lashes and made it harder to see. I should have just turned around and ran back home, but I had a critique, a summative critique, and I could not afford to get a bad grade. Not on one of my favourite pieces at least. So here I was, waiting at a non-sheltered bus stop, too afraid to use my carrier as a makeshift umbrella because these drawings were my ticket to graduation, among other things… like that written thesis I still needed to review, the reflective journal that I haven’t been writing, that one contextual studies exam and- I took a deep breath to clear my head of all the pending work, I had a notice board for a reason. I didn’t need to keep all of that in the confines of my brain. I looked down at my shoes; soaked through. They were my favourite pair of Chucks. Tattered and worn down but no one had a pair like them. Absolutely no one. You see, my best friend is a textiles student, and he had gifted me these white Chucks on the first birthday I had as a college kid, but he had printed over the white fabric exterior a wood grain pattern in black. I wear no other pair of shoes as often as these. I was staring at them as the rain fell against them, the water soaking in and reaching my socked feet, when a beige coloured liquid started taking the place of the clear drops. I panicked, but with my sleep-deprived state, everything that happened in the next few seconds felt very slow. My eyes drifted from looking at my shoes - now receiving a beige stain as prominent as my acne was in year 8 - to my right to follow the stream of what I assumed to be coffee, only to land on a hooded figure who had happened to have been rummaging through their backpack with one hand and their cup had tilted a little during. Before my rational thinking could kick in, reflex took over. My carrier landed in front of me with a splat onto the wet asphalt and my now free hands shot out to my right to shove the culprit farther away from me, a high-pitched “HEY” leaving my lips. He turned to look at the source of the sudden force and my eyes landed on the bluest pair of eyes I’d ever seen. If I wasn’t angry, I’d have felt the urge to draw them. Those same eyes traveled down my body frantically, almost to inspect the damages made. If I hadn’t been sleep-deprived, anxious, and stressed, I would not have reacted the way that I just did. Things would have been more civil. His unlucky day, I suppose. “I’m so so sorry,” he uttered, his eyes widening as they landed on my shoes. I let my eyes squint at his apology, however I couldn’t stop them from traveling over his face. I would have taken that sculpture class if I would have been sculpting his face. He had the most beautiful features I had come across and he was begging to be sketched. “You stained them,” I whined, my attention going back to my shoes. I couldn’t use detergent on them for the sake of the print. If I was being completely honest with myself, they would have looked beaten up after today’s downpour anyway, but the coffee stain made it worse. My week had already been unpleasant, and this was what people often refer to as the “last straw”. I looked back up at him, the look of distress evident on his beautiful features. When his eyes met mine, he went down to pick up my abandoned carrier, wiping it gently with his sleeve and handing it to me. “I am genuinely sorry about your shoes.” “I’m sorry for shoving you,” I sighed, embarrassed at my outburst. I pulled my drawings away from him and went back to standing in my original position. My rational thinking had finally kicked in and it made me feel highly uncomfortable as a result of my instinctive behaviour. After a few heavy seconds of nothing but the sound of the rain hitting the asphalt and his rummaging through his backpack, he spoke. “Would you like to share my umbrella?” I directed my eyes back to look at him and he was already shielded from the tears of the clouds above, his unbelievably blue eyes wide as he waited for an answer. I took the gesture as a peace offering. “Please,” I sighed and immediately, he had moved closer so his umbrella could shield the two of us. For reasons unexplained, I could feel my face begin to heat up, the same heat travelling up my neck and down my back. I felt the gentle suffocation of my heavy jacket getting more irritating. Maybe it was how close to me he was; I could feel his breath brushing past the side of my face, his hand that was holding the umbrella up trapped between our sides. I could smell a faded hint of cinnamon that gave me warmth from within and I couldn’t begin to explain the feeling if I tried. I willed my eyes to look over at him but quickly turned away when I caught his beautiful ones looking back at me. “You have very beautiful eyes,” I murmured, looking ahead at the empty street as the rain still hit hard against it. “Thank you,” he said in an almost hushed whisper and I realised then just how close we had to be in proximity for me to be able to hear the gentle tone of his voice over the aggressive rain hitting the umbrella and the ground beneath us. “You’re in a BFA program, right?” “I’m doing my final semester now. It’s only been two years but I rearranged how I went about my courses and managed to squeeze it all in two years,” I explained, pulling the carrier closer to my chest. “Wait,” he said, a hint of disbelief lacing his voice, “you finished a BFA in two years?” I smiled, already used to the shock on people’s faces when I explained my academic journey. I was a passionate artist and went through my work like a train on its tracks. I had no breaks through both years and was determined to have my degree early. It had taken a toll on my health but I had never felt more accomplished. I explained it to him. “I’m in my third semester now,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “BFA too. We’ve never had a class together, you and I.” “I don’t think we have,” I said, pushing my soaked hair away from my face, “I’d have remembered. Besides, I probably finished the classes you’re doing right now ages ago.” “Are you a 16 year old prodigy?” “Oh no, nothing like that,” I laughed for the first time since I had woken up, “just passionate and I can’t not have something to do.” He hummed, his eyes darting back to the shoes on my feet, “did you do that? The pattern I mean.” “Oh no,” I shook my head, my eyes drifting back down to look at them, “I have a very good friend in textiles, he did it for my eighteenth birthday. I get splinters when I’m stretching my own canvas and I proceed to complain about them for weeks. He felt like a wood grain would be appropriate.” “I’m honestly very sorry,” he started to apologise once again, “I was looking for the umbrella and I got distracted. I feel awful about them.” “It’s okay, they’ve seen better days,” I said, giving him a bright smile. I didn’t mind anymore. Before any more could be said, the bus approached and made a stop in front of the two of us. We hurriedly got on, and without thinking about it, we sat next to one another. I reached up and started twisting my hair and wringing the water out onto the bus’s already wet floor under my feet. I heard him chuckle. “I never got your name,” I said, securing my drawing carrier against the back of the seat in front of me. “Jared,” he said, pushing his hand out for me to shake, “you?” “Arden,” I said, taking his hand. Upon contact, I felt something. It felt like a small crackle of fire that had gone under my skin and spread through my blood stream. I could feel the tingle of it all the way up to my shoulder. My eyes darted up to his to see if he felt it too, and I couldn’t be sure. However, the now visible crease between his eyebrows as his eyes looked on to our touching hands, I had a haunch. I slowly drew my hand out of his, hearing him clear his throat as I fought back a smile. I needed to see him again. And again. And again. I turned my head in his direction once again, only to be met with his face mere millimeters from mine, crowding my vision and clouding my senses. I couldn’t see anything but his eyes, hear nothing but his breath, smell nothing but whatever scent he was wearing. I held his stare, not because I was challenging him or anything of the sort, but because his eyes demanded to be met. I couldn’t break away from them and neither did I know if I even wanted to. “Arden,” he whispered, almost to see what it would sound like coming from his mouth, tasting the letters on his own tongue. I grinned, “hi.” “Is it completely inappropriate for me to want to kiss you right now?” He asked in his hushed voice, his breath washing over my face, dizzying me just a little. “I mean,” I started feigning concern but unable to wipe the smile off my face, “we just met, and you ruined my shoes. What do you think?” “It’s inappropriate,” he whispered with a grin, before diminishing the distance between the two of us. There are no words expressive enough to describe that kiss. The same electricity I felt in my arm was in the kiss, warming me up to the bone. It was everything I didn’t know I wanted. I felt his hand cradle the side of my face, so I let mine land against his chest. I could only hold on for so long, the instinct to breathe prevailing. I broke the kiss and gasped for air, a smile spreading across my face before I could think to stop it. His expression mirrored mine. “Can I see you again today?” He asked, “after class? I’ll be done by two in the afternoon.” “Yeah,” I breathed, “I just have a critique at half past noon.” He grinned, “meet me at that stupid statue they’ve got in front of the arts building.” “That stupid statue,” I snickered as his face drew closer again, but before his lips could meet mine, he spoke. “Are you still mad about the shoes?” “Yes,” I laughed, “that’s totally why I’m kissing you and meeting you after your class. Makes complete sense, Jared. I wonder-“ He cut me off then, pushing his lips against mine and I could feel him try his best to contain the wide smile that graced his beautiful face. Maybe getting soaked to the bone under a heavy downpour isn’t such a bad thing after all.

[xpetrichorum]

Last post as a bfa student!!!

So, after I finished all that luster and all my prints were done, I came in for my final kiln Christmas as a bfa and my toilet tank top had exploded! The sink was fine, and all the epoxy fell off which was super nice because now it’s perfectly clean and smooth so it can be used again! But the toilet tank had a huge crater and a bunch of cracks coming off of it, and a bunch of broken stuff fell off under it. I think that since it was a fairly recently used toilet it had accumulated moisture in tiny pockets or pores and that’s what made it explode. Crazy!

So, I had to do some troubleshooting and decided to just take one from my house and figure out some decorations with gold paint. This was kind of sucky though because it was the day I was installing so I had to figure out a key part of my show in less than a day, which was stressful.

So one of the coolest parts of my thesis is the slime obviously, and let me tell you about it. It took like 5 gallons of glue and I think we ended up with about 15 gallons of slime in the end. It was SO much easier than I anticipated. I thought we were going to have to make it in small batches to ensure the connections between the pva and the borates were equally distributed but nope! I just mixed it by the gallon of glue right in the five gallon bucket. I made a purple, an orange, a green, a blue, and a pink. The purple and green were the most successful because they were so opaque and the other colors kind of got lost in the mix when I set them all out. So that’s something to remember for next time.

Also the menstrual blood I had saved smelled like a dead animal by the time I put it in that jar. Absolutely disgusting.

As for everything else, it all turned out so good!! The luster and mother of pearl worked like a charm! I loved how the period stuff came out. I painted the butterfly wires black, and also covered the part of my butterfly that stuck to the shelf with black so it was less noticeable. I’m thinking of covering it with some nail polish to make it match the iridescence if that works.. not sure. My mom is currently in possession of it as it’s her birthday in early May and she loved it so much. So next up was just to install... I just tried to make everything as close as possible to my original idea sketch. Shane was there to help me and after moving the tub and sink and toilet around and trying out shelf positions a few times we got it, really quickly. We got the bathroom stuff in position and installed the shelf!

We had to leave early though because no one could hang out with Kezia at home and my mom was working (she’s a pediatric er nurse!)

So we continued the next day, which was the day we had to submit everything so not gonna lie that morning we went in I was very nervous.

By the second day all we had left to do was replace that dang toilet tank top and set everything out, and figure out the toilet decoration situation. I decided to put some small things on the toilet seat cover so that I didn’t push my luck with the gold paint, which ended up being the same spray paint I used for the tub feet and the shell. I wanted to put slime in my little perfume bottles but we could get it to go in no matter what we tried so we just did veg oil and glitter instead. We filled the bathtub with a bunch of filler stuff and covered it with plastic, and then covered that with slime. We fixed the lights which took FOREVER. The slime didn’t quite behave how I expected, and because of this, I had to move really quickly to photograph everything and didn’t really get a chance to just look everything over and take it all in in person as it was together and installed. I didn’t realize this until I got home to edit photos. But it’s okay, it wasn’t really possible this time because I had a learning curve with the slime. When I install work like this again it will be different.

I took SO MANY pictures. And speaking of that, in the last days of working in the studios and installing, I took so many sad pictures of little odds and ends in the studios and hallways. I really missed everyone. But I took 235 photos in all of my show, including all the book pages. I stayed up literally all night from the time I got home editing, organizing, choosing photos, and I kind of regret that because I ended up making some last minute decisions I didn’t really want to make. I wanted to have a separate artist statement, the one I wrote earlier, and a project statement in my actual show. But in my craze of editing and organizing I thought it would be better to just integrate the two (especially since my thesis was so long) so that everyone didn’t have so much to read. Maybe that was a better idea anyway.

But, after turning everything in in the wee hours of the morning, I was finally done. And it really didn’t feel like it. It was really crazy to finish and be at home and that’s it. And there it is! I have reached my 10 image limit.

I think I’ll do another post in a few days talking about the whole post experience in detail, but this is it for grade-purpose blogs for this year. I’ll have a chance to post more photos ;) but also I feel like I could talk about this experience forever so I really want to come back and discuss more in detail after I have some time to consolidate my feelings and thoughts.

Thanks for reading if you are, and thanks to you Brian for everything! You are the greatest and most inspiring instructor ever! I’ll talk about you like you talk about Dr. Don when I’m your age. :) (also special shout out to Shane for taking so many great pictures of me installing :’) )

[nyfacurrent]

Conversations | Zahra Banyamerian

“I want to fight the idea of the starving artist, as I believe no one should wait to be established or recognized to have a living wage.“

Zahra Banyamerian, Program Associate at NYFA Learning, is a curator from Iran who pursues independent curatorial projects in non-traditional venues. In addition to her experience as an arts administrator and her passion for contemporary art from the Middle East, she is trained as a painter and printmaker. Learn more from her career trajectory as an immigrant arts professional below.

NYFA: What are some of your strategies for curating exhibitions at non-traditional spaces?

Zahra Banyamerian: First, one should creatively think of a space to activate it to serve the purpose of exhibiting artworks. Second, one must think about the work and artists they would like to include in that non-traditional venue. The first and second steps are interchangeable. For example, when you have the space before finalizing the list of artists, you should think about whose work responds better within the space you have available; but if you have the list of artists and you know what kind of work you would like to have in your shows, you have to think about the space because, in the end, the space also adds another layer of meaning to the story you are telling within your show. For instance, when I had the opportunity to curate a show at The First Presbyterian Church in New York City, I checked the space and realized that I had a high ceiling, two enormous cream-colored walls (which I was unable to paint in another color) to install the work, and an almost separated long, narrow space attached to the Great Hall. This other space had a lower ceiling and large stained glass windows on one of its sides. I had other limitations as well: I couldn’t have sculptures and large installations since the church uses the space for meetings and gatherings. I decided to respect the space by choosing to have only 10-11 artists. Then, considering what I had, I went to look for the artists.

NYFA: Can you tell us what drives your curatorial practice process and if there is a thread that ties in all of your projects?

ZB: What ties my practice as a curator and researcher is my background and the fact that I have the experience of border crossing. I am an immigrant and I am from a geographical region called Iran; I stand on the margins of the world and, simultaneously, I resist the idea of being defined only by my movement through the world or only being recognized by prejudice toward where I came from. So when developing a project, my goal is to suggest another perspective that challenges the dominant narratives that define different communities.

NYFA: What kind of collaborations and projects are you aspiring to at the moment?

ZB: At the moment, Gabriella Calandro, Senior Program Officer & Curator at NYFA Grants, and I are co-curating the NYFA staff show which will be open to the public from January 29 to May 30. The opening night is scheduled for February 20, from 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM. I’m also finishing up my thesis for my MA degree in Art History. I am researching the intersection of nostalgia, politics, and gender and how they play major roles in the artistic production of countries where drastic social changes were experienced in their recent history. I will present a part of my thesis in the 37th Annual Art History Graduate Symposium hosted by Florida State University in late March. At the same time, I find open calls and opportunities where I can work on new curatorial projects that I have in mind.

NYFA: Can you tell us about your experience being part of NYFA Learning?

ZB: Being part of NYFA Learning has been rewarding. I’ve gotten to know great colleagues who have supported me from day one. I learned that designing workshops, panels, and programs for artists is also, in a sense, a creative process, and one should be an innovative and think-out-of-the-box kind of person to empower artists across all disciplines. You have to be a researcher, entrepreneur, and a collaborator to get the job done. I learned how to be accessible and listen empathetically to solve problems. I also have a chance to work with many great artists whose words and work expanded my understanding of art. Being involved in providing professional development to artists and creatives to sustain their careers has also brought me a new perspective when looking at my practice, and I try to incorporate all strategies that the workshops presenters and panelists share with artists into my own work. Learning more about the challenges artists face taught me to be an advocate for their rights and push boundaries to do what is right for them. I’m looking for what else can be done, how we can alter the accepted dynamic of the art world, in which, for instance, giving low wages to artists or hiring unpaid interns is considered in some circles OK. I want to fight the idea of the starving artist, as I believe no one should wait to be established or recognized to have a living wage.

More About Zahra Banyamerian

At NYFA, Banyamerian is involved with different aspects of programming for artists and creatives. She provides support for the NYFA Learning Team in various professional development programs, including entrepreneurial trainings, the Immigrant Artist Mentoring Program, Doctor’s Hours.

She also pursues independent curatorial projects in non-traditional venues. She is currently an MA candidate in the Art History program at the City College of New York where she is working on her master thesis on the intersection of nostalgia, politics, and gender in the cultural production of Iranian female artists. In addition to her experience as an art administrator and her passion for the Middle East contemporary art, she is trained as a painter and printmaker. She holds a BFA degree in Painting and a MA degree in Art Studies from University of Tehran and a Post-Bacc degree in Studio Art from the School of the Museum of Fine Arts, Boston.

- Interview Conducted by Alicia Ehni, Program Officer

This post is part of the ConEdison Immigrant Artist Program Newsletter #125. Subscribe to this free monthly e-mail for artist’s features, opportunities, and events. Learn more about NYFA Immigrant Artist Mentoring Program.

Images: Mrinalini Aggarwal, Lapse (Willing), 2015, installed at Great Hall, The First Presbyterian Church, New York City, during the “Status” exhibition; Team of artists who were part of “Status,” from left to right: Nazanin Noroozi, Zahra Banyamerian, Yael Ben-Simon, Kate Bae, Vincent Bezuidenhout, Ziyu He, Diego Anaya, Mrinalini Aggarwal, and Chemin Hsiao (not pictured: Luisa Valderrama, Masahito Ono, and Htet San); and Zahra Banyamerian. All images credit Mohammad Askarzadeh.

[topicprinter]

I attended one of the top art and design schools/universities for four years. I finished my degree program classes, developed a thesis collection of work, did the final exhibition, and then decided to cut the cord without graduating. Why would I decide to drop out when I was so close to finishing? I finished my finals semester and my program with the rest of my graduating class... but I still had a stack of elective lecture courses that I would be required to take, and some of them had to be on campus... and it would cost me an additional year of tuition which would be extortionate.Last spring I was done. I had finished the work that I wanted to finish. I had an opportunity overseas to begin my life, no debt, and no desire to stick around for some lectures that were not necessary other than to simply meet a requirement.So I left. This upset absolutely everyone around me. But here's the thing... you don't really need a degree in my industry. A lot of artists and designers are self-made. It's a very flexible world full of innovators and open-thinkers. Art school is a privilege that not many can afford. A lot of creatives wear multiple hats and can side-step into different parts of the industry through networking and conversation. Sure there are corporate jobs as well but even they don't always look for a degree. The most important thing is your portfolio... what you can do and how you can show what you do.And for the record, lecture classes at art school are kind of a joke... and a lot of the time you lose the class lottery and wind up in a totally useless liberal arts course that only exists in order for the school to call itself a real school.So this time last year, I finished my work, did my student exhibition, even got into a few publications, and then moved away. People, including my parents and some family, were absolutely fretting at me to go back and finish my degree... but my life was already moving forward... and I was even more driven than ever to prove everyone wrong. I wasn't going to leave my opportunities, my partner, and go back to sit in a lecture hall for another year just to appease the system.I did go through a period of serious self-doubt due to the constant berating that I was getting from spectators, and even vowed to my parents that I would complete my degree... but I never really had the intention.I have to say, thank god I didn't do it this past fall because I wouldn't have been able to do any of the amazing things that I did last year and I would have been affected by this current crisis.I strongly believe that a degree is not necessary. I am incredibly thankful that I don't have any debt. The only thing that I might want to do one day is go into a master's program... but if I have a big enough portfolio you don't need an undergrad degree to get into a program.Just because I don't have a piece of paper doesn't mean that I didn't spend 4 years at an amazing institution and absorb all of the knowledge in order to become the type of person that the school produces.I've done pretty well so far... and I'm still confident that I don't need that degree. I've just been thinking about it because I recently spoke to someone who was begging me to go back and do it... now... while I have the free time... and even submit some personal work that I'm doing for independent study credit.... you mean you want me to pay 3 grand to do the work that I'm doing on my own time for free? You think it's a good idea for me to put myself 20k to 60k in debt right now? During a global pandemic and economic recession? I really don't think so.Why are we so bound to this form of validation? I got what I wanted and needed out of the experience and I've moved on. I wouldn't recommend what I did to everyone, I know the type of person that I am and I have always taken an alternative path... but for those like me (and many of them tend to be entrepreneurs) I'd like to know your opinion on this matter.Personally, I don't want to work with someone who can't see past my lack of degree and through to the vast body of work and experience that I have... because it could imply a close-mindedness that I would clash with in a working relationship.​My only struggle is finding out how to word my schooling experience... in conversation, on my resume, LinkedIn... etc. Until I'm successful enough to publically state that I dropped out lol... But for now that isn't the message that I want to be leading my parade with. I find myself beating around the bush with statements like: "I finished X school in 2019" or, "I went to X school for X major"... and most people don't question much further or just fill in the blank and assume that I have a degree if I spent 4 years ina program.It's trickier when it comes to wording my resume... because most people expect to see something like - "X school, 2015 - 2019, BFA" ... but I don't have a BFA... I was in a BFA program for four years though...Or there are instances where you need to use the word "graduate" or "recent graduate" or "I graduated from" ... where "I went to" doesn't really cut it in language.I feel like I need to have some kind of a script... for if someone asks X I respond with X... for multiple scenarios... or if they pry more then I respond with X.And then a set thing to put on my resume and LinkedIn that isn't a lie that someone could check up on.I could also lean on the current situation as an excuse.... "I was going to finish these courses in the spring after taking a break through last summer and fall... but then the global crisis hit and I had to protect my finances..."Eventually, I will wear the fact that I dropped out, loud and proud... but until then, it isn't what I want to lead with when meeting people, especially potential business relations.Is anyone here a drop-out? Especially so late in the game? What do you do? What do you say to people who ask?

[glassrootsinc]

Artist of the Week: Morgan Gilbreath

I wanted to be an artist ever since I was a toddler. I think that I am interested in conveying my ideas in any way possible and the visual medium is the best and most direct way I can find expression. After High School, I was in school at Tyler School of Art, I studied both glass and Art History. I always looked at those two disciplines as separate fields. I did the History degree because I thought that was where my career would flourish the most, while the BFA degree was only for the experience; I really enjoyed art-making but never thought I was good enough at it to be able to create a successful career out of my artwork. However, as I went though art school and began to find my way, I gained confidence in myself and realized that maybe I DID have what it takes to pursue my studio practice. When comparing my older work to my more recent, I find that now, my work seems to utilize my research and knowledge of art history as a major part of my research and ideas. When I first started studying glass, I was very inspired by the surrounding city of Philadelphia. Today, I still glean many of my ideas and materials from the urban environment - but my concepts are a little less about city life and more about religion, history, and architecture (as learned from my studies in Art History). I find that my work is enhanced through incorporating my other knowledge and interests outside of glass itself.

GlassRoots) What other materials would you like to work with?

Morgan Gilbreath) I currently work with most any material I can get my hands on, especially found materials. A few years ago, I was making work with dust and dirt from the floors of sites of worship (collected by my feet). My major material goal would be to procure some of the dust from inside of the Kaaba (the black box at the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Saudi Arabia) during the one time a year that the Kaaba is opened and a high priest cleans/dusts the interior room using only a peacock feather. This; along with visiting Mecca (a Muslim-only city) are among some of my loftiest goals for accumulating source materials (both physical and conceptual) for my artwork.

G) Do your sketch your ideas?

M.G.) Yes, I often sketch my ideas as a form of planning and organizing.  I also take TONS of notes and do a lot of writing.  As artists and makers, I find it very important and helpful to write extensively of your work.

G) How do you find inspiration and avoid artist block?

M.G.) When I encounter artist’s block, I go for a walk in the city. Usually, something seen or something found on the ground during the walk will inspire a new idea for my studio practice. It is also important to have some physical movement (rather than just sitting in your studio) to help ideas come to you. I also overcome artist’s block by going to the library.  Researching and looking through random books always help inspire works. Museums, too!

Five years ago, I think that I was very preoccupied with creating meaning and intention in my work.  Everything in my work - including color, quantity, and size - had to be symbolic, significant, and metaphorical. I was so obsessed with clearly expressing my ideas that, sometimes, my personal aesthetic (and experimentation) seemed to take a backseat.  Now, I am a little less self-conscious about my (still very intentional) creations. No need to over think, just go with your instinct and be true to yourself. As a creative, I think that one of my biggest struggles is my anxiety and stress.  Because I am so passionate and driven, I rarely allow myself time off.  And when I do, I’m usually preoccupied with the guilt I feel for NOT working every moment of the day.  My goal for this upcoming year is to try and focus on enjoying and developing my personal life OUTSIDE of my studio practice and focusing on my well-being and personal happiness beyond my career.  I find this is a problem that many dedicated artists encounter and it is important to remember (I keep telling myself this): it is important to have time in which you are NOT working, simply re-thinking, re-grouping, reflecting, and relaxing.  It will rejuvenate you so that you can go back into the studio more focused, energized, and bold. No need to over think, just go with your instinct and be true to yourself.

G) What is the best advice you’ve received as an artist?

M.G.) The best advice I have received came from a lecture by American painter Mark Bradford. When asked what advice he had for young emerging artists he said: “INVEST IN YOUR WORK. Prioritize your work over all other expenses. If you don’t invest in yourself and your work, how can you expect others to do so?” Be responsible with your money.  I am a very frugal person who lives simply, but when it comes to creating my work, I spare no expense (within reason, of course)!

G) What would you say best defines your style?

M.G.) I think that my style is defined by the use of found/unconventional materials infused with conceptual significance. The materials lists and the titles and writing surrounding my pieces are a key factor in its meaning.

G) Finish this sentence; My art is mostly likely to...

M.G.) My art is most likely to… take a very long time to make.

G) How would you like your art to be viewed?

M.G.) I would like my art to be viewed as a thesis. A tool to draw connections and provoke thought in a way that brings people together. I hope to provoke discussion and idea exchange between diverse peoples and to challenge myself and others to rethink their approach to the world around them.  In the end, my goal is to be happy, challenged, and fulfilled by the artwork that I make and the people who surround me.

G) What advice would you give someone considering entering your field?

M.G.) I would advise them that the glass field is a MAJOR sacrifice with MAJOR rewards. It is difficult to maintain a “normal” lifestyle (due to lots of travel and jumping between jobs - and freelance is sometimes required) and it is endlessly hard work. However, if you are passionate about it, there is no other option. The positive thing about the glass world is that everyone surrounding you is as crazy dedicated and passionate as you are, so it breeds a group of incredibly supportive peers and friends.

GlassRoots would like to give a very special thank you to Morgan Gilbreath for allowing us to highlight her work and answering all of our questions! If you’re interested in learning more about Morgan or viewing the rest of her works visit the permanent collection at the Museum of American Glass at Wheaton Arts in Millville, NJ, her website and or purchase an original Morgan Gilbreath original (small-scale) product at morgangilbreath.bigcartel.com.