#this is honestly inspired by the meme of the bootleg barbie movie with spanish subtitles

[pollenallergie]

Best friend!Eddie Headcanon(s) ft. Reefer Rick

aka Eddisms: The Reefmix

Reefer Rick doesn’t just supply Eddie with drugs to deal, he also offers Eddie his illegal bootleg copies of movies that are only out in theaters to Eddie for a discounted price.

Rick calls it the “employee discount,” but, considering Eddie is his only dealer at the moment, it might as well just be the “Eddie discount.”

You and Eddie have weekly movie nights. Typically, you rent movies from Family Video for these movie nights like good, morally upstanding citizens. However, once a month, you two indulge in the contraband and have a bootleg movie night wherein you watch whatever new, pirated flicks Rick has to offer.

On these nights, you forgo your weekly trip to family video but still head to the closest convenience store to get snacks because junk food is a necessity for movie nights.

Then, Eddie heads to Reefer Rick’s place to “rent” the flicks from him, leaving you back at the trailer to get everything set up for your movie night, much to your chagrin. You kinda hate that Eddie never brings you along with him to run his “errands,” mostly because you hate being left out. It’s not like you actually want to be involved in his illicit activities, but it still sucks to be excluded. Nevertheless, you prepare the spread of junk food, order the pizza, and transform the Munsons’ living room into the ultimate, cozy movie night cove.

Meanwhile, Eddie’s at Rick’s, buying the films and some weed for personal consumption, a movie night must-have. Unfortunately, such an exchange also involves shooting the shit with Rick for about an hour because he’s the only man who can out-chatterbox Eddie. These conversations usually involve Rick, who thinks of himself as Eddie’s mentor, giving the youngest Munson life advice that he definitely didn’t ask for and ranting about whatever sociopolitical issues he’s been hyper-focusing on lately, such as the military-industrial complex, the bullshit War on Drugs, really, any mostly-valid-yet-still-a-bit crackpot anti-establishment rhetoric you can think of, Ricks probably spewing it at Eddie. Honestly, these conversations are more like scatterbrained lectures; the kind filled with lots of ‘um’s and long pauses, the kind where Rick forgets what he’s talking about after a while and jarringly switches topics, starting a new lecture entirely without giving poor Eddie so much as a subtle verbal cue.

After retrieving the films and robotically nodding along to these scatterbrained lectures, Eddie returns to the trailer and is immediately accosted by your incessant complaining about the fact that he never lets you go with him to pick up stuff from Rick’s. At this point, your grumbling is part of the routine.

Of course, Eddie’s always quick to remind you that it’s not about wanting you to “sit at home and play housewife” for him (your go-to accusation, you little feminist you), but that he simply doesn’t trust Rick around you because, in Eddie’s words, Rick’s “sketchy” and “a total perv.”

In all honesty, Rick’s harmless; a drug dealer/supplier who has no qualms with dealing to minors, but otherwise harmless. Rick’s nothing more than a stoner punk with access to semi-decent weed that is somehow both a genius and a being that completely lacks common sense, hence why Eddie’s unofficial PoliSci professor has been caught by Hawkin’s PD a few times.

The real reason Eddie doesn’t want you around Rick is that he’s intimidated by him. More specifically, Rick is a fucking hot, with his various tattoos and anti-establishment ideals. He’s about ten years your senior, though the way he somehow balances tranquil maturity with enough oddball immaturity makes him seem five or six years younger than he actually is. Not to mention, he’s just educated enough to have some semi-intellectual conversations (Rick went to college at Purdue and flunked out during his junior year because he spent too much time partying and doing drugs), but he’s also somehow dumb enough for it to be sort of endearing, likely as a result of all the hard drugs killing his brain cells or whatever. Truthfully, Rick’s oddly charming in ways that Eddie doesn’t think he ever could be (little does Eddie know, he’s his own brand of oddly charming, and his type of charm has already made you fall for him), and, well, that scares the shit out of Eddie because, in his eyes, Rick is exactly the type of guy that could steal you away from him before he ever even gets the chance to tell you, his best friend, how hopelessly in love with you he is. No, no way, not happening. Therefore, Eddie’s decided that you can never ever find out who Reefer Rick actually is and you can certainly never meet him. Eddie can’t prevent the two of you from crossing paths in the grocery store, but he can prevent you two from ever properly meeting and talking to each other.

Anyways… Once Eddie has amply reassured you that you didn’t miss out on anything and that he’s not leaving you behind because you’re not a dude, he pops in one of the flicks, coaxes you onto the couch, and snuggles up with you as the two of you prepare to watch a really shitty quality version of a movie that you two are honestly indifferent to (hence why you two aren’t going to see it in theaters) and that, for some reason, has large, bold, poorly-translated Turkish subtitles on it.