#this is helen speaking so it could be utter bullshit

[justicewasserved]

sick with the implications of "when has your guilt ever actually stopped you from doing what [the eye] wants" so as an avatar you can have the best morals in the whole world and it literally won't make a difference. choice to be a good person gone ig

[lovenona]

and i repeat: anthropo-ceramics geto suguru is the type of toxic where he'd take your virginity, make a sculpture about the experience, then smash it on the ground as a metaphor

this ask is my entire life. this ask is my lifeblood. everyone please saddle up for the ride of a lifetime, otherwise known as 1500ish words of toxic geto featuring sukuna being a good fucking friend – please continue at ur own risk this absolutely contains geto being a pretentious toxic fucker and mentions of virginity/first time but yes i guarantee it does have a happy ending (link to the full college! cinematic universe here) 

let’s begin with the basics – why wouldn’t you fuck geto suguru? he has the type of beauty that lingers on the back of your eyelids even after you’ve long since departed from him; it’s the kind of fragrant, lasting beauty that you think sculptors muse over when they coax life from their marble. he’s smooth, like still water, and calming, like the sound of birds rustling and leaves swaying at dawn. he is helen: a beauty that nations would go to war over. 

and sure, he is pretentious, the kind of toxic pretentiousness that festers inside of all pretty boys who call themselves “leftists” but can’t be bothered to call their mothers or to care about their partners. but it’s the way he speaks, the way he looks at you with such fervor and attention in his eyes that you’re utterly willing to let him break your heart. 

and maybe it’s not often that someone looks at you the way geto does: it’s not often that someone looks at you like they want you, body and soul. and it feels nice to be cared about, to be flirted with, even if the figure doing the flirting condescends you in a way that is different, harsher, colder, than the way ryomen sukuna does. 

so geto suguru takes you on dates. after the avant-garde poetry reading, in which you feigned excitement as he recited a poem on global imperialism that you didn’t quite vibe with, he brings you to local bookstores with overpriced yuppie memoirs, farmers’ markets with organic fruit, human rights protests and philosophy meetings where greasy boys bitterly discuss the communist manifesto. he takes you to dinner, too, to vegan restaurants that you can’t help but rave about on yelp later and to bars where they serve your cocktails in mason jars. 

geto suguru, for all his faults, is incredibly lighthearted with you; he makes you feel beautiful and desirable and warm, even when he’s explaining anthropology to you with such intense vigor that you lose track of his meaning. after everything, you’d be lying if you said you regretted your time with him.

after awhile you let geto fuck you – and yes, he was your first time, which you were naturally quite nervous about. but you appreciated him because he waited for you; he never pressured you into behaviors you didn’t want; he never asked you for services you weren’t ready to provide. and so when you slept with him, after an invigorating open-mic night at the fair-trade coffee shop near campus, you felt ready for the intimacy. geto made you feel attractive, comfortable, safe. he praised you the whole night, gave you caresses that lit you up like fireworks, provided such a level of god-tier aftercare you still reminisce about it, even now. 

but that’s the thing about anthropology-ceramics major geto suguru: he’s quietly toxic. he’s a poison that sneaks up on you, infecting your bloodstream when you least expect it. 

you weren’t sure if geto wanted to pursue a relationship, either. you’d fucked, sure, and you went on dates, but he was always the type to avoid long-term commitments. rumors float around campus of the many partners he’s ghosted, of the relationships he exploited for his own “artistic musings.” they aren’t loud rumors, to be sure, but they hang around his aura like a strange, ghostly scent. 

geto is a pretentious little fuck. you’ve known it and agreed to enter his circle anyway. maybe you hoped, perhaps naively, that the rumors would simply not apply to you.

which was a stupid idea. three weeks after the experience, since which you have only spent one-on-one time with geto only a few times, mostly to talk about school, the art department hosts an art show. it’s a regular occurrence, where the art students show off their best works, grad students display their in-progress theses, and outsiders can browse the displays, drink wine, offer to give outstanding students jobs and internships. it’s truly a big fucking deal for the art department; many of the school’s the most successful artists received their first acclaim here. 

you’ve always enjoyed attending, even if the level of talent and expertise sometimes intimidates you, even if you know you’ll never be on this level. you know sukuna’s got a few paintings lined up to be on display – paintings you’ve modeled for, drawings you’ve watched him labor over for hours on end. you reckon that for all your begrudging time together, you might as well show your face in support. 

but what you didn’t count on was geto’s contribution.

at this art show, there are, every now and then, some interactive performances, speeches, explanations on certain works. so it happens that from the back of the auditorium you watch geto take the stage, wheeling a small, white sculpture behind him. from your perspective it could have been a flower – perhaps a lily, but you can’t be certain. 

(geto always did like sculpting precious, dainty flowers.)

he doesn’t call you by name, but he doesn’t have to. he talks at great length in that smooth voice of his about the construct of virginity, the purity culture plaguing the globe, the emotional sensitivity of having your first time. geto seguru tells an avid audience what you felt about fucking for the first time. he recreates the entire night for two hundred listeners: he recalls the foreplay, the insecurity, the orgasms. he doesn’t call you by name. he doesn’t have to. 

he may have asked for your consent the first time. but he certainly did not ask your permission to do this. 

you’re not sure if you should laugh or cry when geto dramatically smashes his own sculpture, citing the “destruction of virginity” and  the need “to demolish a social desire to classify one’s morality based upon their sexual activity” and “the symbolic popping of the cherry” among other phrases that are utter bullshit. you’re watching the fragments dance across the stage and you feel exploited. you feel used in a way that feels utterly worse than anything else geto could have done.

did he ever like you? or were you simply a muse for this moment? 

you’re about to ditch the art show and go wallow in self pity at your apartment when a familiar presence slides in beside you.

“that’s kinda fucked,” sukuna says, hands in his jacket pockets. he’s looking at you out of the corner of his eye. his tone tells you he’s joking. maybe he just doesn’t know. “no one gives a shit about virginity constructs anymore, idiot.” 

“yeah,” you respond, but the energy is gone. you feel strange, like you’re hovering outside of yourself. your head hurts: you’re angry. you decide you’d like to cry when you get home. “what a piece of shit.” it comes out strangled and lost. 

sukuna notices the dejection in your voice, the sag in your shoulders, the way you’re just barely able to hold yourself together. he may be arrogant, not ryomen sukuna is not mean.

a familiar arm around your shoulders, keeping your sanity together. “shit’s lame. let’s get the fuck out of here.” it’s a phrase that captures everything that remains unsaid between you: i’m going to beat the shit out of geto the next time i see him. that’s absolutely unbelievable.

you never explicitly told sukuna about your weird relationship with geto: you didn’t have to. it was always evident to the both of you. it was written in the way you’d look a little bit longer in geto’s direction, in the way you let yourself be strung along and become someone else. you’ve hung around sukuna long enough that you know his body language and that he knows yours. you’ve hung around sukuna enough that there are a lifetime of stories that never need to be told. 

you nod. “yeah.” thank you. i know. 

you’re both uncharacteristically silent when you exit the auditorium, when you collect sukuna’s belongings that are still lounging by his artwork as you prepare to leave. ryomen sukuna is famous for never shutting the fuck up. but as you button your coat, he’s silent, and it’s strange. comfortable.

“thank you,” you say with uncharacteristic softness as he throws a sketchbook back into his backpack and zips it shut. 

“why?”

“for asking my permission,” you say, gesturing to the gallery wall behind him, to the painting of you – “eros” – that you had posed for awhile back. even now, you find that it captures an essence you did not know you possessed. “he didn’t. ask, i mean.” 

ryomen sukuna has always craved your attention. and maybe he’s glad he’s got it back – but it feels sour. he doesn’t understand why he’s so fucking upset for you. he doesn’t understand why he wants so badly for you to be happy again. what he does understand is that he plans for retribution. 

“that’s fucked,” he settles on. “what bastard doesn’t ask for consent?”

you smile – and he does too, one that’s less feral and almost kind. and so you fall back into routine, already, some kind of weight lifting from your shoulders. ryomen sukuna may be a menace, but you can rely on him, trust him: that much you know. 

“you know,” sukuna says offhandedly as you exit the building and enter the parking lot. “i know where geto’s car is, i’m just saying. and i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have an extra precision knife in my backpack right now.”  

[quietasides]

Half of the Story

 Career and Industry in Just Like You (part one)

I'm looking at the Just Like You video (now six months old) through a lens that shows me Louis stifled, his career stalled, his frustrations with the situation and his powerlessness—all expressed through metaphorical descriptions and careful editing in the way text is revealed in the video.

I believe there are few/no accidental coincidences within this video. I think the articles and images were chosen for their content, both partial and in whole. I also believe the video was made with the expectation there would be frame-by-frame scrutiny and so each frame is laid out/designed with deliberation. I gave closer attention to articles which appeared more than once.

note: I’ve edited quotes to remove words which appear irrelevant when wearing my biased lenses. Omissions are indicated by ellipses [...], while sentence fragments original to the frame cropping are indicated by an em-dash [—]. These are merely my observations.

“...We need to eliminate this notion that there's one neutral point of view...There is not one story – there are multiple stories to be told in multiple ways." (interview with director Sally Potter, first appearing at :22 and again multiple times during the lyric “you only get half of the story”)

Allegory: a story, poem, or picture that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden meaning.

0.15—(for the newspaper article on the right, I’m calling on Google translate.) A new—is about—half located—speaking—we did not have conversation—even seen or—with the artist painter—since—interesting mural—paint that—as—it was an allegory—As well, now—we have it find—on this occasion—shaping…    I love this. Since the artist painter can’t speak, there’s allegory in the mural of this video. Notice the location...find it. (This image flashes by again at 2:02 as a single frame). This particular spread was designed, and the article chosen, before the video was assembled in its final form. We are also in the “kingdom of Allegory” in a theater review at 2:34.

The following words appear in the first milliseconds (:02) of the video, painted over white beneath the drawing of Louis, and shown only once: Profound— opened to— oration that— original—yet...—written by...— good as the hype—enough to win—of viewers— reassure diehard—[cheri]shed memories—to tradable... —up chasing down—love with one—[h]im there’s been—[days] of darkness— stored replicant—creating a blank—database memory—…jostling—corporation logos

I am intrigued by these words, and I want to fill in the blanks between them. I invite you to do the same.

:03 An upside-down article about possible unethical practices in racing implies Louis can’t speak about his dissatisfaction, unfair business practices, and significant barriers to his career. He can, however, make this video…and we can read it, whether our interpretations are correct or not. This article is particularly important, recurring at least five times in the course of the video (as, for example, at 2:31). 

“...Concerns about ‘unsatisfactory’ experiences—wants to see ‘fair, transparent, and responsible practices in place to remove significant actual and perceiving barriers to new owners joining the sport’—not one complaint has been brought—this could be interpreted two ways: there is not an issue or there is a creed of omerta which prevents anyone from speaking out...Rumours suggest that the anecdotal evidence surrounds agents encouraging individuals to buy horses at an inflated price, from which they then receive a cut, or bidding off, whereby false bids are made.”

:04—(from Tom Paley’s obituary) “...he was quintessentially witty, thoroughly urban and intellectual, given to outrageous puns and wordplay, a master teller of jokes.” This quote could describe Louis’s image since the beginning of 1D. The article also mentions the “principled intransigence” of Tom Paley—a refusal to change one's views or to agree about something; uncompromising, tenacious; bloody-minded. Again, this describes what we know of Louis.

The same article appears again at 1:23 (below), but with a slightly different focus. Note the way Louis is framed and emphasized when he’s on the right-hand side of the photo, almost as if he’s being crowned.

As the crown is drawn, the clipping of the word glory enlarges, and reads "up our bills—trust"

The emphasized “and the glory” clipping is from the article, below, in which Dame Helen Ghosh changes her position on wind turbines, coming to an opposite stance from six months ago. This article was also chosen before final video assembly in mid-October 2017.

:20—“The National Trust is prepared to considered fracking on its land but has all but ruled out wind farms, according to the head of the conservation charity. Dame Helen Ghosh, the trust’s director-general, said that it was keeping an open mind on drilling for…dioxide emissions. Dame Helen’s stance on wind farms appears to have become more hostile since she said six months ago that “a wind turbine in the right place is a rather beautiful thing”

:09—an article fragment on the right-hand side reads, "Pays nothing toward the cost of his hearing aids..." (Those three white photo borders/lines may be a reference to Triple Strings, which has shown very little/no activity.)

0:34—a split-second frame flashes by

“to build online—keep our identity—that matches”

We see this article again at :42, in another quick shot—

Some of the partial phrases seen within Louis’s silhouette, above:

“innovation—and research—competi—dynami—”

“private—bullshit—publicity”

“what are—answered the—nothing else—takes 20 min—thank them for”

“provided—million of insura[nce]—implicit—their funding—guarantees—billion. Today—when there's—up in private—to buy—has been—developers that—fifth of all new—four years”

“trustees of the—for a premium—million. Pension—oration said that—all liabilities—an increasing—and liabilities—allowed us to take a—market conditions—ensure these liabilities—chain—of the pension—(subhead) Bid to halt”

“thus cutting the price and reducing the financial incentives for poaching” These phrases are reminiscent of the racing industry article seen at the beginning of this post.

“funding of—jettisoning—gone it—strategic—capabilities—this responsibility—would—wholly—special—utter—when the—capability has never—fear the battle for resources—MoD is (yet again) encouraging—tactical rather than strategic thinking”

This particular editorial page is shown more fully at 1:13—

"What has changed in the strategic landscape that removes—can be—special forces—which confer not just military capability but international clout. In this respect cutting the Royal Marines would be disastrous, for they provide a wholly disproportionate percentage of special forces manpower. It would be utter folly to take that risk at a time when the need for counterterrorist capability has never been greater. I fear the battle for resources in the MoD is (yet again) encouraging tactical rather than strategic thinking."

“We have—amount of—this has—advantage of—fully—trustees—said.—postal strike—a High Court—in an—48-hour strike—planned for this—communication—failed to meet a—to withdraw—the company—under an agreement—must enter”

"I fear that this kind of "inconvenient truth" is all too easily fudged by those whose—has changed in —landscape that suddenly—need for an amphib—nothing. Indeed, —unpredictable—more important"

Disputes, strikes, poaching, incentives, tactics, strategy (and windmills)... Louis the pool player, and also this clipping at :31—

(continued in part 2) eta let’s be honest I’m never going to get around to part 2. But if anyone would like to discuss this with me, feel free to message!