#this is going to sound weird probably but my aunt recently retired which i don't think is helping

[pynkhues]

I'm so so sorry that your sister is having to deal with all that, and that you and your mom are too, and that your aunt is making things harder -- I get that it's partly her own trauma, but that still doesn't make it okay, and I'm sorry the system isn't fair and just makes things harder for survivors.

Thanks, anon. I can't lie, it's been a lot, but it's had its silver linings. My sister and I had actually had an ugly falling out about five years ago, and mm - weren't estranged exactly, but weren't on great terms, which we both now understand was partially fuelled by her ex deliberately isolating her as a part of his abuse.

This whole process has made us closer than I think we've ever been before in our lives, and I know that's something neither of us would trade for anything now. Honestly, it's also a relief that she's out of the marriage and his house, even if we're still trying to get the children out permanently (they currently are court ordered to spend five days a fortnight with him. My sister is going for full custody though which is what the trial's about in six weeks).

But yeah. My aunt means well, but she's currently adding to the pressure rather than sharing the load, I think. Our mum's planning on having a conversation with her, so we'll see what happens, I guess.