#this is for day 7 of wolgraha week it took me forever MY GOD

[justiceisoverr]

for the wolgraha week prompt "i love you"

[crystal-verse]

Wolgraha week day 7: adventure

[this one is late because it just, took me forever to figure out what to write with the prompt. oops? anyways, uh, upon ye, it's on the longer side]

"I want to go on an adventure with you." Raha says, breaking the stillness.

You blink, and look over at them. "Does poking around the Labyrinth of the Ancients not count?"

He huffs, and stretches his arms out in front of him. "That is research." Raha says, tone clearly sayins yes, it doesn't count. "What I want is an adventure someplace where the enemies are not all yet felled, something that makes the heart race and puts a thrill up one's spine."

You very carefully do not sit up to smack him. You are sitting up to shove your face against his neck. Which is less painful than smacking him, though it does make your words harder to say. "G'raha Tia," You begin, with all the gravitas you can, "if I have to get into another fight that rattles my bones like clearing the Labyrinth did, I will cry. I will cry, if I have to do that within the next week." Nevermind the fact that it had been several weeks since you'd cleared said Labyrinth with the aid of your fellow NOAH members.

Raha tenses, somewhat, and then sighs, slowly. "Apologies, love. I simply wish--" They cut themself off with a noise of frustration. "It simply. . . I do not like seeing you forced to head into battle, gaining yet more injuries and scars. If I --" another pause for another breath. "I want to go on an adventure with you, so that I will be there to help you fight those fights."

You pull away from Raha. Enough that you can see his face. There's something vulnerable in his eyes, something honest.

"Oh, Raha. . . " You raise your hand. Cup his cheek, thumb resting just below that blue eye of his. "I would take you with me if I could."

"You speak as if you can't." The words are said softly, without venom, and perhaps that is what cuts most deeply of all. Raha is resigned to the idea, has already decided that he is of less priority to you, that it is easier for him to be left behind in the camp whenever you are pulled to do some task.

"No, that's not--!" It is your turn to cut yourself off, and you throw yourself at Raha, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your head against his chest. Their arms wrap around you as well, in reflex perhaps, and Raha makes a startled little noise.

You sigh, and with how your chest and lungs ache you may as well have breathed out the last of your air. "I don't. . . want you to be hurt. And -- and there aren't any adventures like that anyways, that you've not been with me for, and Cid wouldn't let you come with me into the Labryinth and when we do open the Tower I don't think he'll let you come with me there, and--" you choke on a breath, the beginnings of a sob, and--

It isn't fair. It isn't fair that he can't be with you for those fights, because it is "too dangerous" and he is "not strong enough" and Raha is "better suited as a researcher". It isn't fair that you're so terrified of losing Raha, only months into knowing them, that the thought makes you panic sometimes, makes you cling to them tighter whenever the thought strikes you. It isn't fair that Raha should want to be by your side and yet not be allowed to be, by Fate or by some well-meaning colleague or by some other rule.

You choke on a breath. You choke on something in your chest. You cough, and then again, and again, until you're doubled over from the coughing fit, and it is only Raha's warm, steady hands keeping you up that prevents you from collapsing to the ground. It is, a distant thought notes, a very terrible time for a coughing fit. (Not as bad as if you were to be in battle. But still bad.)

When the coughing eases and you can breathe again, albeit winded, you look down at the blood on the ground. On Raha's trousers and boots, too -- and you wince at that. "Sorry for the blood."

"'Tis nothing, my god. I am sorry that you had to be in pain."

You sigh again. Shift yourself, then lean your side against Raha's. "I want to take you with me on adventures. I do. I just -- I don't know what kind of adventures you want, I don't know if someone else might grab you away for a day and ruin any plans we make, or if we get in a situation that's too deep over our heads." Your ears pin back against your head, and your tail lashes. You don't look at Raha's face. You think you might see too much honesty in those eyes, and you don't know if that would be what breaks you.

A soft noise. "I don't mind the kind of adventure, Pheli." Raha places a hand on yours, balled up into fists in your lap as they are. "I just -- wish to be by your side. I wish to protect you, silly as it may sound. I'm aware that you're the more skilled fighter between us." There's a warm note in their voice, slight amusement trailing at the ends of that open, soft honesty. "Be it a massive fight or something so simple as helping to deliver mail, I simply wish to be with you."

You look up, and despite your worries a smile finds its way onto your face. "Careful there, beloved." You tease. "That almost sounds like a proposal."

It startles a laugh out of Raha, and that heavy air that'd fallen was lifted. "I'm being honest, I swear! I just want to spend time with you."

"I know! I know." You lean forward enough to bump your forehead and cheek against Raha's own forehead. (His hair, under your cheek, is soft as ever.) "Then -- why are we making such a fuss over it? Anything can be an adventure. So that makes everything an adventure. So that means you're always on an adventure with me. Right?"

Raha looks at you for just long enough to make doubt begin to stir in your mind, before he laughs, a short, joyous thing. "You're right. We've been letting our doubts and worries get the best of us today, 'twould seem. My deepest apologies, my love. Forgive me?"

You shift, turn to face Raha more fully. A hand yet again finds its place upon his cheek, and you lean forwards to kiss him. Softly, sweetly, slowly. As always. "My silly, silly sea-eyed scholar." You tell him. "There's nothing to forgive."

"When you say it like that, perhaps." Raha says, smirking in that familiar, cute way. Slightly smug, slightly honest, entirely genuine. "Then I trust you'll believe me when I say there's nothing to forgive, when you worry about your health and paranoia?"

"You say that like you don't have to calm me down from the paranoia every three days."

"I do it out of love, I assure you."

"I know." And here you finally give up and fully set aside the book you'd been reading, and move enough to properly close the distance and wriggle yourself into sitting in Raha's lap. "I love you too. Do you mind if I sleep here? The conversation and the coughing fit has me tired."

"Oh, by all means." Raha says, with the air of a cat being given the finest of cream. "Why would I mind my lover sleeping in my lap?"

You glare at them half-heartedly, but Raha's expression smooths to something softer, more tender. "Truly, my Pheli. Rest. I do not mind it. And--" his hands smooth down your back, gentle against your sore spine and muscles of your back. "Thank you. For bringing me with you on your many adventures. Take me with you on the next one, alright?"

You give a lazy nod, eyes drifting shut. As they are ever, Raha is warm. As he is ever, Raha is safe. Sleep finds you quickly. You have no fear of what happens while you sleep -- you know Raha will be there. Steady, comforting presence, as always.