#this is at least partially my own fault bc there r things I could do about it but. I keep forgetting mostly
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Going through it as per usual
#nothing in particular is happening my mental state has just been particularly dogshit lately#this is at least partially my own fault bc there r things I could do about it but. I keep forgetting mostly#boredom + bad brain space does NOT go well for me I swear#and I’m just like. as pervasively lonely as usual bc I’ve been too anxious to take any initiative in like. hanging out or talking to people#I at least have a new interest which helps a bit. but also lifesteal/unstable universe r kinda heavy/intense at times (and uu is also long)#so I can’t just. consume content when I don’t have the energy to do other stuff#I’m just. screams into my pillow for 24 hrs straight#genuinely sometimes it feels like I’m holding onto my sanity by my fingertips and the only reason I haven’t had a massive meltdown#is bc I just. don’t want to deal w the emotions so I keep putting it off or spinning it into something more lighthearted#I guess the biggest positive is that I’ve been able to not get TOO self destructive even if the urges are very much there
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