#this is another scenario that's worth ficcing in full but i'm not sure if i'll ever be well enough to do so

[crimeronan]

Would Empress Luz (once things are cleared up with Raine and Darius via mindscape trauma adventures) want to try reuniting with Camila via portal? I can see things re her and Vee and everything else coming to light (if Vee could even keep up the illusion that long) being very interesting/traumatising. Both for Luz, Vee and Camila and for Hunter and the rest of her newer adoptive family (Raine, Darius and Eda. I'd hope there'd eventually be a happy ending to it, but it would take some work.

ooh i actually do have an answer for this one!

in this AU, luz has been in the isles since she was about four, so her memories of the human world are vague and dreamy. she remembers having had human parents who loved her, but she wouldn't be able to pick them out of a lineup. (this also led to some upsetting discussions in my writing group chat about the consequences of her being raised by a colonizer - she's lost her spanish, is slightly more anxious about gender roles, etc, it's...... deeply sad and shitty)

the idea of returning to the human realm honestly scares the crap out of luz.

for one, she's much more comfortable around magic than she would be in a magic-less world; even though she KNOWS that she wouldn't be physically disabled in the human world like she is in the isles, and that she'd have an easier time finding food that doesn't make her sick, etc. she has some anxieties about how maybe she ~*~belongs~*~ there, because belos coming to the isles was clearly Not Fucking Good For Anyone. and on a more pointed note, belos used the human world to threaten her when they were fighting about hunter. so she has Very Few positive associations with the place

i'm FASCINATED by the concept of vee managing to escape and switch places with her around that time, i hadn't considered that before and it's. harrowing. it becomes kind of a changeling fairytale, right, except the changeling Knows she isn't human and remembers just enough to be TERRIFIED of being found out and sent back to the fae world.... GOD. poor vee. this is DELICIOUS.

the version of the story i've been working with so far, though, is one with this idea from my friend mock, because it fucking Haunts Me:

vee ends up escaping at around the same time as canon (well -- two years later, since luz is sixteen when the major events of the story play out). and when vee sees camila coming in the house, she takes the shape of the first person she sees in photos.

toddler luz.

aka. the daughter that camila is reasonably certain has been dead for over a decade.

i'm just imagining camila like. having a shaky near-sobbing breakdown and scooping vee-luz up and calling a friend like, i need you to come over and tell me if i'm hallucinating or if i'm seeing a real ghost. because camila KNOWS that if her daughter was alive, she'd be sixteen now.

i THINK vee would fess up pretty fast after that. because she feels Horrifically Guilty, AND because she can't play a Miracle Baby without inviting questions from much scarier humans, And because camila seems both so kind and so upset that vee is hoping she can make a break for it if she has to.

it's common knowledge in the isles that the princess is human, even though belos isn't out as human himself. because belos has been using luz as an excuse to do some human-supremacist white-savior-trope "the titan brought her from Real civilization to save you from yourselves <3" bullshit

and i think that vee would probably tell camila that. i'm 50/50 on whether vee knows luz's name or not (she certainly wouldn't know the name 'noceda,' at least). but either way, i think that camila would be like. okay. i have to be practical. i can't get my hopes up like this. my daughter is dead and it would be insane of me to chase this fantasy.

.....but i Have to know.

and like. she ESPECIALLY fucking has to know if she's heard even a Fraction of what vee has been through. vee has probably characterized the princess as just as evil as the rest of the royal family. but camila knows that even IF that's true, upbringing has a big impact on someone's character, and if her daughter was raised by an evil fascist then..... someone has to help her. no matter how terrible she is.

so i just imagine like. camila managing to find her way into the boiling isles (how this happens is up in the air. i haven't figured out exact portal logistics), IMMEDIATELY outing herself as a human, and demanding to see the emperor. and being told that the emperor died very recently, but she can meet the empress instead.

and it's luz. and luz's public-facing persona is made of steel (albeit friendly and kind steel), but her private self is transparently fragile in ways that are Extremely Alarming, and camila is like.

okay.

what. the fuck. did that man do to you.

(there's a background fic here. for anyone looking for expansion on uh. what exactly that man did to her. yikes!)

[showf4lls]

ʚ ― confessions ; foolish gamers

info! fluff, fic / gender neutral reader

cw! homophobic chicken

request! how foolish would react to his crush spontaneously confessing to him

dedication! @goldenstarofthunderclan (so sorry for taking so long!)

notes! forgive me homie, i just thought that this would be so much cuter as a minific. if you'd prefer headcanons, i can throw some out there! i just think this lil scenario is super cute :> also sorry for the homophobic chicken mention in here, i couldn't come up with anything better that they have in NC. also this definitely turned into a full fledged fic so sorry about that lmao. enjoy :]

you hummed, curled up cozy on the couch while foolish did something in the kitchen. you weren't exactly sure what it was, just that he was making a lot of noise. another sigh, dramatic and loud, as you readjusted on the couch. annoyed at his absence, you shifted again, folding your hands and laying your head over them.

it seemed like it would be a while until he came back. you frowned at the thought, pulling the hood of the too-big sweater over your head. it was foolish's; he had given it to you to wear since you kept complaining that it was too cold. you tried to keep from thinking about it too hard.

finally, you had decided that you'd had enough and sat up abruptly. "foolish, what are you doing in there?" you called, not bothering to hide your annoyance. "aren't we supposed to be hanging out? you've been in there for like 20 minutes."

foolish peeked his head out of the kitchen, frowning. "i know, but i'm hungryyyy," he whined.

"do you not have any food? i swear you went grocery shopping just the other day."

"i do! but nothing snackable. nothing... worth it," he replied.

you stared at him another moment before huffing and letting yourself fall back onto the couch. "foolish!"

he was quiet for a beat. then, "i have an idea."

you didn't sit back up again, just turned your head to face him. "what?"

he leaned onto the doorframe, almost hugging it, still half-peeking out. "do you want to go get food?"

you perked up at that. "ooh! yes, i'd love to! what are we thinking?" you asked eagerly, leaning on the back of the couch, knelt on the cushions.

you both thought for a moment. then he looked up at you, scrunching his nose. "i hate to say it, but is chick-fil-a the vibe?"

"i mean, waffle fries and chick-fil-a sauce do sound really good right now..."

foolish sighed dramatically, throwing his head back in faux exasperation. "fine. get some shoes on and then we'll leave," he said, feigning annoyance even though it was his idea.

you shook your head and smiled as you stood from the couch, searching for your shoes. in just a minute he was hastily pulling a hoodie over his head and ushering you towards his car as though you guys were late to something. it wasn't that far of a drive, but the two of you still sang along to shitty radio music.

soon enough you were parked in the drive thru, humming along to the music as you both looked over the menu.

"hi there! i'll be with you in just a minute," a voice chirped from the drive thru speaker.

"no problem!" foolish responded, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel as he scanned over the menu.

you didn't think too hard about what you wanted, having already decided before you guys left the house. you mostly looked at the menu in case something else sounded more appealing, but you found yourself distracted by the designated driver and his carefree humming. the way he tilted his head in time with the music. the way his hair hung around his ears in the awkward phases of growing it out. and he was still wearing the bracelet you'd made him for his birthday. for some reason the thought made you blush.

then suddenly a voice was coming over the speaker again and you'd been ripped back into reality. you blinked and foolish was finishing his order, turning and waiting expectantly for your order. "what do you want for dinner? do you wanna order for yourself or do you want me to say it?"

you felt more blood rush to your cheeks at the suggestion, hurriedly shaking your head. "no, no, i'm fine. i can do it," you assured him, almost leaning over him to make sure that the microphone would pick you up. "hi there! could i please get a chicken sandwich combo with two packs of chick-fil-a sauce and an oreo shake?"

a beat of silence. you waited anxiously for the speaker's reply. "would you like whipped cream on that milkshake?"

your gaze flickered nervously to foolish, who almost seemed to be leaning towards you instead of away. "yeah, that's fine," you answered stiffly.

"alright, we'll give you the total at the second window."

"thank you so much," you called impulsively out the window before moving back to your own seat.

foolish watched you from his peripheral, giggling as he pulled the car forward. "you okay?"

you huffed, rubbing at your nose, an anxious tic. "yes. why?"

"you're just actin' a little goofy is all," he teased, still drumming his fingers across the steering wheel.

you rolled your eyes, cracking a grin. "i am not."

he put one hand up in mock surrender, the other staying on the wheel. "if you say so!" he said before mumbling a playful, "just a little bit, though."

you laughed, lightly slapping his shoulder as you guys inched through the line. more singing and then you found yourselves at the final window of the drive thru. the window clerk announced your total and you promptly began digging through your wallet for your card. "can we split the bill possibly?" you asked without looking up.

"no, no. i've got this one," foolish said nonchalantly, handing his card to the clerk with a polite "thank you."

you looked up from your wallet, nose scrunched. "huh?"

foolish looked back to you easily, both hands on the wheel now. "i'm paying for dinner."

"what? no, we always split it-"

"no, listen. i'm the one that was hungry. i'm the one that asked you to hang out. i insist on paying, it's only fair. just let me treat you," he said, and it was so casual that it had you blinking and wondering if you were the one being weird here.

it wasn't super weird for one of you to pay for the whole dinner. if you guys didn't split the bill, one of you would cover it and the other would get them back the next time you guys went out. pretty standard friend stuff. but it was also something that you guys normally talked about beforehand. he'd never sprung something like this on you before. what the hell was happening? why did he suddenly care so much about treating you to some chick-fil-a for dinner?

you blinked dumbly at him. "are you sure?" was the only response you could muster from the disoriented depths of your mind.

he laughed lightly and then nodded, drumming a quick beat on the wheel. "positive. don't worry about it."

you didn't have too much time to think about it before the cashier was back at the window, handing over foolish's debit card and your food and drinks. you scrambled to put the drinks into the cup holders and pull the bags onto your lap; it was the least you could do considering that he paid for everything.

foolish played along with everything as though it was just another evening. and maybe it was. he danced along to the tune of the radio as he drove, singing softly as he navigated the roads back to his house, but you found yourself stuck in your head. did that mean something or were you reading too much into things? was this supposed to mean something? were you missing a cue somewhere? were your feelings for him not as secret as you had initially thought? hope to god he wasn't just pushing your buttons or humoring you.

you turned to face him, eyes squinted as you did your best to analyze his body language. "foolish," you said, tone even.

"yes?" he asked, only taking his eyes off the road to look at you for a second.

"i like you."

and there it was. unplanned, sudden, all out in the open. just a second of silence, the both of you still.

"are you sure?" he asked, gaze moving back and forth between you and the road.

"oh jeez." your palm met your forehead and you squeezed your eyes shut.

"no, wait! that came out wrong!" he rushed, trying his best to articulate his thoughts well while also focusing on the road. okay, maybe this wasn't exactly the best time to be springing this on him. oh well. "what i meant was," he started again, exhaling a loud puff of air. "oh, thank god. i've liked you for like. so long. i thought i like missed my window or something."

you blinked owlishly at him, eyes round and wide as saucers. "what?!"

"what do you mean 'what'?!" he yelled, gesturing vaguely at you. "you're so. ugh!" he paused for a fraction of a second. "in a good way. in a good way, i promise."

"well, you are too!" you yelled back, the paper back of food crinkling in your hands. you smiled, nose scrunched up. "oh god, this is so weird. pull the car over, we need to talk about this."

"no, no! we're almost home, we can just talk when we get there."

"seriously? i wanna know all about this whole 'you liking me forever' thing," you teased, reaching into the bag and blindly stealing a waffle fry.

he inhaled a dramatic hiss, feigning a grimace. "i really shouldn't have said that part, huh?"

you grinned, biting your french fry. "not if you didn't want me to hold it over your head forever."

it was silent for a moment, nothing but the radio and the sound of the car driving down a sleepy road. both of you grinned, looking straight out the windshield.

then foolish turned to you, nearly beaming. "so you really like me?"

you rolled your eyes playfully. "course i do, idiot." you playfully shoved his shoulder. "now look back at the road before you crash the car."

[hbyrde36]

Writers 20 questions tag game!!

Tagged by @devondespresso, thanks friend!

And @sidekick-hero 💜

I haven't done this one in long enough that I think some answers will be different, so let's give it a go!

divider by @/saradika-graphics

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

27

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

461,264

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Stranger Things/Steddie

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Hellfire Ink Shelter In Place Times Like These (both versions are neck and neck!) Life is a Game (and True Love is a Trophy) Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter

5. Do you respond to comments?

Yes! I try to respond to all comments even if it's just emojis. Comments mean SO much and I like to let readers know how much I appreciate them and their words of encouragement!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Though I do write a lot of angst, I'm a happy endings only kinda gal, so not many angsty endings save for one or two very short ficlets. 🤣

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

That's a tough one! As I said above, happy endings only here so there are too many to try and choose between! 'I Don't Think We're In Hawkins Anymore, Big Boy' is probably my most lighthearted work in general, so that one definitely comes to mind. I think the most hard-earned happy ending would be a tie between Times Like These and Life is a Game.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not so far, and I feel so lucky for that. Fingers crossed it stays that way!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do! It tends to be part of larger stories for me. And that's nothing against PWP, I LOVE me some PWP, I don't know if my smut is good enough to stand on it's own like that, but I am getting more comfortable with it! At the end of the day, with Steddie no matter what else the plot contains I'm also writing a romance, and most of the time the smut winds up happening naturally within the story. To me, the boys are almost always down bad for each other on sight, so it's only inevitable that they wind up falling in bed together, one way or another. 😆

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have written two crossover/fusion au's! So far 'I Don't Think We're In Hawkins Anymore, Big Boy' is a Wizard of Oz AU. Steve Harrington: Vampire Hunter is an Anita Blake AU

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! 🤞

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of, but I wouldn't mind!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have not, but with the right partner I think it would be a fun thing to try!

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

For now I'll have to say Steddie. It's the first ship I've ever put this much time and energy into.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will?

At the moment I don't have any real WIPS that I don't fully intend on finishing. Now, I do have a folder full of random ideas, many of the docs within only have a few sentences worth of words and I'm sure many of those will sadly go unwritten.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't know if that's for ME to say, but I THINK I do good dialog and banter. I know when I'm writing the dialog is always what comes easiest, and usually first before the rest of the story.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Rushing/not expanding on some things. I think sometimes I rush through certain areas or aspects of a story that maybe I think will be boring, but would benefit from a little room the breathe.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It wouldn't bother me in reading as long as the dialog is either explained somehow or if I'm just not supposed to know what the character is saying. It hasn't come up in my own writing so I'm not sure how I'd handle that scenario.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

This one! Stranger Things/Steddie.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Honestly, I can't choose! BUT there is one I'm very fond of that has for whatever reason VERY low hits. It was my fic for the STWG Hozier Project for the song 'From Eden'. Just a short thing with a 3k word count limit, but I adore it. Honey, You're Familiar

No pressure tags! @pearynice @vecnuthy @griefabyss69 @rocknrollsalad @hornedqueenofhell

@shares-a-vest @soaringornithopter @steddiecameraroll @klausinamarink

[wsdanon]

I'd love to hear the tragic character felps thoughts!

okay echo + anyone else reading this bear with me because i have lots to say and i'm not sure i can get it all down properly. it's worth mentioning my fic "it's not a fashion statement, it's a deathwish" is pretty much directly what i have headcanoned as felps' backstory. but for more detail and breaking things down:

firstly in canon while i think it's accurate to call felps not an active player, he was an active character in the plot. the reason he got kidnapped had a whole lead up to it \o/ one vod's worth (three videos on youtube), but still! he was heavily in character the entire time (even turning his crashing into a character moment--making his character paranoid that he was being watched)

that being said: felps doesn't log in as much. during the vod i mentioned earlier he said his gap was because he was in a mini-coma. i think he sleeps a lot! i've headcanoned him with a fatigue disorder of some kind, and the one month on ice just made it worse. i extrapolated on this idea and decided he'd have difficulty sometimes understanding what was dream and what was reality (i think i got this from narcolepsy? i haven't looked at it in a while but some of the symptoms of that was hallucinations and sleep paralysis I think).

this disconnect from reality was somewhat confirmed in his prison stream \o/ although since i can't pull up the exact quote/timestamp right now don't believe me too much

okay going under the cut now:

one of the "i like dropping that i think felps is a very tragic character" moments i mentioned was if him and pac actually got together, he'd have trouble believing it was real and not a dream. this is extremely self indulgent on the felpac side of things and i'll go back to just felps specifically but: presumably felps has been pining after pac for eight years! i think they're a mess of missed opportunities and both of them being too afraid to try and start anything, so if anything did happen it might not feel real

(the other tragedy is that nothing happens. and he stays pining forever)

back to felps specifically. in my backstory for him i have that he was killed and suddenly revived as a saint in a futuristic (for him) version of his town. this is incredibly alienating for him. he's very very lonely, and confused, and out of place and it's the building blocks for his and cellbit's friendship (as cellbit is also lonely, confused, and out of place). i've had some people mention recently that felps feels out of touch with reality in "it's not a fashion statement" and i'm glad because that was the intention!

first of all, he was dead for many years. second of all, everything is new and different. third of all, he's a saint. it's hard to process

regarding what we specifically see in canon: the "felps has a fatigue disorder" thing was a way to explain why he's away so much. but also… he's a saint. and in the prison stream he leant hard into that. there was no facecam or chat that entire stream. it felt really weird to me because he always has a facecam--or at the very least chat (he went live later on not for qsmp stuff with both). to me it felt like a way to showcase his disconnect from reality and kind of acceptance of his sainthood?

(another post before when i was talking about felps stuff i mentioned a lot of people praying to him is fucking him up a little--i think the more he gets prayed to and accepted as a saint the harder it is for him to grasp onto reality. saints aren't supposed to be alive, after all)

felps has had other occasions of disconnect from reality--he was one of the people to happily play into bad's denial when the eggs were missing. because one of felps' coping mechanisms is actually denial \o/ he doesn't go as full into it as bad, but you see him in other scenarios leaning onto denial. (after the one month on ice + in the prison stream learning how long he was gone for you can see him insisting he was only gone for a day or a few days and getting shocked/upset by the idea he was gone for a month/multiple months)

with felps logging on less, and having enough pieces in canon to explain away why (either he gets lost in his square, or he falls asleep) i think you can do a lot with the idea that sainthood is kind of claiming him and so he's not able to be present in reality anymore. which kind of freaks him out a bit. i said he was lonely in my backstory, and this kind of amplifies that. everyone's been through so much without him. he can't stop falling asleep and not waking up

anyway my final note of rambled felps characterisation is that he's also quite a paranoid character but he's not as loud about it as cellbit is. this is very messy but it's hard to get all my thoughts down about this. hope you enjoyed \o/

[dangerous-drabbles]

update

i've been putting off writing this, but i can't exactly not, so... i'll try and make this brief.

in short: i've had an epiphany.

(tl;dr at bottom)

i've been writing/brainstorming this fic since november/december last year, and since then, my ideas and understandings of the show and it's characters have evolved. and with them, my plans and understandings for iwf.

i want to be clear: this is not me saying i'm done with iwf, or going on some long hiatus. in fact, it's more the opposite.

having graduated, with summer in full swing, and feeling more sure than ever about where i want to take this fic (as well as remaining fully invested in this fandom), i plan to do more writing than ever before B)

that said: something needs to change.

this fic has been, and continues to be, my baby (besides my ever-growing, yet rarely spoken of, tmnt iteration) for most of the time i've been active in this fandom.

i've long struggled with motivation for big writing projects, but i am resolved to keep with this one because i have a story worth telling. will it be worth reading? who's to say!! (i hope so /gen)

but, as you might've noticed, my more recent updates (especially around the end of arc I) were... bad. maybe not bad-bad, but still bad from a 'technical writing/story' perspective. i struggled a lot with them, and i think that really shows.

i've was trying to figure out why its come to be this way while pushing forward by forcing myself to write, but that didn't work. it wasn't until this week, tuesday, when realization struck me (while watching a video essay, lol).

it made me realize a big part of what was making me unhappy was something i already knew, an issue underlying the fic (and my writing style) as a whole.

with this in mind, i can't keep going forward in the way i had planned.

i'm not gonna go back and change arc I. while the problem is there, especially in the later chapters, i'm early enough on that i can turn things around and (hopefully) root out the problem(s) without any major changes to what i've written/set up so far.

but to do this, i need time.

i know i know i just took a 2-3 week long break, but to pull this off, i need time to prepare and rewrite. i'm halfway through revisions for the arc II outline, and i'll need to heavily revise/rewrite several chapters, plus write some new stuff (since i'm axing the next couple i had planned/written out... rip.)

if all goes well, it shouldn't take longer than two weeks. best case scenario, i get it done in one. we'll see.

until then, i humbly ask for your patience.

as a note:

i could go deep into my inspirations for this fic, where i wanted to go originally, what's changed since then, and especially what brought me to my realization (plus the specifics of said realization) but i said i would try to make this brief, and here we are, [insert amount of words] later.

are you really surprised, though? (/lh)

[if you would like to see me talk more about that (i would absolutely always be down, i love talking about myself /j /lh), feel free to shoot me an ask. in fact, i would beg on my hands and knees, if i were not a silly guy who lives on your computer (/j)]

(tl;dr -- i am not done writing iwf. however, i had a realization that led to me reevaluating my writing and determining that i need to rewrite/revise my arc II outline, and edit/revise/completely rewrite the next several chapters.

this means i am planning to take another week or so off (i am sosososo sorry) to iron everything out and get ahead.

this whole post was me trying to explain the reasoning behind this decision, with an underlying sense of desperate patheticism to match (/j /lh).)

to conclude, i want to say thank you so much for your support, silent or otherwise, from all who have read and (hopefully) enjoyed this fic thus far. i genuinely couldn't do it without you (yes, sun, this includes you /lh.)

especially to my frequent commenters, who i promise i do see and appreciate. you guys are the real mvps <3

i have some really big plans for iwf, and i hope you'll stick around to see them come to fruition (:<

[princessfbi]

Hi happy Saturday! 16 and 26 for (If I Fall, Can You Pull Me Up? & Last Man Standing ) 17, and 45 -118side

16) How did you come up with the idea for xxx?

If I Fall, Can You Pull Me Up?

I knew I wanted to do a low stakes fic after finishing Oh Captain (My Captain), Our Fearful Trip is Done. I can't remember if I got the visual of Buck holding his stomach first or if it was Eddie seeing someone walking away with Buck's jacket but one of those popped up in my brain and then I built the story around it. The Maddie aspect kind of came naturally to the storyline.

Last Man Standing

Ever since I wrote Oh Captain (My Captain), Our Fearful Trip is Done I'd been wanting to write a sick fic because the Buck being sick part was supposed to be a little more prominent in the story but it just didn't work out in the final draft. It was also another scenario of wanting do something a little low stakes after writing She Made Herself Stronger (by Fighting with the Wind). You have the lovely @buddie-buddie to thank for it too because she enabled me and answered a lot of my questions.

17) Post a line from a WIP that you’re working on.

A blush dusted across his nose the moment his feet touched back down, a soft landing you could barely hear with how gentle Eddie made sure to guide him. 

26) Which part of your xxx fic was the hardest to write?

If I Fall, Can You Pull Me Up?

Funnily enough, the hardest part to write was the explanation as to why Buck and the others were there. That whole build up scene outside with Eddie before he sees the man with Buck's coat was so hard to explain. The rest all came pretty naturally.

Last Man Standing

I don't remember anything being particularly difficult on this fic. Sometimes, I can just write a fic top to bottom with no problem at all. Sometimes, I need an outline to help keep track. I think the only thing that was maybe difficult was getting in all the little medical indicators of the pneumonia right.

45) What spurs you on during the writing process?

For me personally, I tend not to let myself get caught up in writers' block. I just push through it. I think it can get pretty easy to get caught up in the frustration of that, that sometimes you don't realize that it's started to become a crutch. I try to remind myself it doesn't have to be perfect but it needs to be on the page. And that's hard work but I view it as hard work on myself rather than just work. Writing is a way for me to release stress and keep my mental health in working order. So, it's hard work but I also know that I'm worth the effort.

It helps to have a schedule for myself too. I view writing like working out. Regardless of what's going on in my life, I'll do twenty minutes in the morning of just writing. Then, if I can, I'll do two hours somewhere that isn't my house. Whether that's at a cafe or the library or whatever. It's a boundary I set with my loved ones. They know that when I'm writing, I'm writing, and after a while they started to respect that. I took a break for the holidays which was much needed and necessary but it's been a struggle to get back on my schedule so it's really important for me to keep that consistent.

If I get an idea right away, I'll go and make notes. Sometimes, I'll write a few sentences here and there. It's game over if I write the first sentence right away because then it means the idea has consumed my whole brain and I'll see you in a week. 🤣

Also my whole support system of @lovebuck @mellaithwen @homerforsure @buddie-buddie full on enabling helps me too. ❤️

Send Me Fanfic Writing Asks

[thispatternismine]

That Ozai-centric fic you mentioned, what is it about? 🤔

Causing him pain, basically. 

I just started thinking about what it would take to get him to even begin rethinking his outlook/life choices, & came up with 'put him through the wringer, in such a way that it causes him to lose respect in the eyes of his allies'. Beyond that, I'm not sure yet, which is why I'm unsure about whether I'll end up posting it. (EDIT: I’ve decided that I will be posting it - at least once I’m a little further along with my already posted WIPs, anyway.)

It's set pre-canon (or at least pre-canon-ish, seeing as it's set around the time of the flashbacks in Zuko Alone), & there'll be major canon divergence pretty quickly since Ozai wouldn't be able to take advantage of Lu Ten's death, so he wouldn't become Firelord (or at least, not then) & Azulon will get to live a little longer. But otherwise...? Will Ozai make better decisions in this scenario? Or even worse ones? How will this affect his relationship with his family? How will all this affect canon events? Who knows? Certainly not me! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'll throw in the prologue here as it's pretty short & is fully written (beyond the inevitable tweaks & editing before I post it for realz).

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“What is your wish, Prince Ozai?”

Ozai glared at the spirit in suspicion; he had not introduced himself & had deliberately left anything marking him as royalty behind for this little excursion. The nondescript clothing & concealing cloak he wore were of exemplary quality of course (he would not lower himself to dress like a peasant even for the sake of a disguise), but nothing that couldn't conceivably be worn by any member of the upper nobility. And it had come to its conclusion remarkably quickly…

He shook himself (mentally at least – he wasn't about to show that he was rattled in any way). Spirits had knowledge & abilities far beyond mortal comprehension. That was precisely why he was here.

He drew himself to his full height. “I wish for my father to see my worth.”

A chuckle. “Is being a good son not enough?”

He was unable to prevent a snarl from escaping him. “No, it is not. I have stayed at his side, obeyed his commands, accepted the marriage he arranged for me with a woman who tolerates me at best, given him grandchildren. Yet all he sees is my brother, mighty hero of the Fire Nation.”

“If you think that things would be different if you were seen as a hero, perhaps you should do something heroic?” There was a mocking edge to its voice that he chose to ignore.

“You think that has not occurred to me? There’s just no opportunity to prove myself!”

Well, to be more accurate, there were certainly opportunities to prove oneself in a nation at war with the rest of the world, but after almost a century, so many others had already claimed such opportunities, leaving his as one of many. In order to emerge from his brother’s shadow & truly gain his father’s respect, it needed to be something spectacular.

Conquering the Northern Water Tribe would be perfect, but he had absolutely no desire to live on a boat for months – or even years – on end, only to be inevitably outshone once more when Iroh finally won Ba Sing Se.

Omashu was another possibility, but still nothing next to the prize of the great walled city. (And if he was totally honest with himself, he wasn’t sure of the wisdom of taking on a king who was notoriously monkey-batshit insane for his first military command. Anticipating & countering his strategy would be a headache.)

He had done the best with the opportunities he had been given, but his efforts had all been seen as the least he could have done – if not outright disparaged. His acceptance of his marriage to a commoner was seen as only his duty. His providing an heir was unimportant next to the golden child that was Lu Ten (to whom Zuko could never measure up to, it seemed). Naming a child in his father’s honour had been met with a sneer at what was seen as blatant flattery, & her prodigious Firebending talent was ignored.

There must be some other way…

“Well, if it’s an opportunity to be a hero that you are after, I can provide it.”

This was exactly what he’d hoped for when he came here, to this particular cave, on this particular island, on this particular night, even as he wondered if the scroll he had found wasn’t more of a fiction than those ridiculous plays his wife & son enjoyed.

“There is a price to be paid, of course, as with all things.”

A lifetime of dealing with court politics & incompetent social inferiors (& his own family) had given him extensive practice at not rolling his eyes at such an obvious statement.

Of course there was a price. There always was.

But he was a prince – wealthy, powerful, & the only thing he cared about was the very thing he was asking for. He could afford whatever the spirit might ask in return.

Well, almost anything.

“As long as the price is not my own life, or the disgrace of my nation, then I accept.”

The spirit smiled.

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Edit: Another snippet here.

[pips-fics]

question tho, like how do u picture it? do u just imagine the people in the situation or-

omgggg yes i’ve been wanting a lucy one but i just haven’t gotten around to getting one of theirs and same i’ve got like two skz ones hehe

ok ok another question lol, so i saw smth in the comments of the flare live performance and they said that sangyeop wasn’t always there or smth?? i’m not really sure but like do u know what that’s abt? bc i’m hella confused lol

okay i think it's a pattern thing? i usually think of content that i have seen of them, and how they act, how they typically respond to various things, and how they communicate through body language. for example, certain people (like jisung, minho, hyunjin, wonsang, yechan) startle really easily, so i might use a startle response in their fics, but i wouldn't be as likely to do that with others (like yeop) unless there's some reason for them to act differently than normal. if changbin was startled in one of my fics, i'd have him yell - or i might have him to the opposite, get really quiet and curl into himself, as an indication that he's not his normal self, and have another character notice how odd it is. i think i overdo that with certain people - like i frequently write yechan as being really quiet when he's sick as a contrast to his usual character. also, sometimes i have to write it out first to picture a new scenario clearly, and i might write it two different ways to see which one feels right, or naturally leads the story in the direction i want it to go, or elicits the emotion i'm aiming for

when i'm really struggling with characterization, i'll actually rewatch (or watch for the first time) content that is/might be relevant to guide me though that can be a slippery slope of course so it's a last resort. i'm actually pretty bad at imagining things from scratch which i think is why i tend towards fanfics as opposed to original works - i like having something to rely on and observe.

OH lee juhyuk!!! yes we love him, he was with lucy on superband and was their original vocalist, helped with the formation of their band and contributed to their general chaotic vibe. he's adorable and has a beautiful and super unique voice. yeop was also on superband but. well idk if you want spoilers but he didn't end up with lucy during the show itself

however juhyuk ended up returning to his original band, GIFT, after superband ended, and the other lucys went ahead and snatched up sangyeop before anyone else could get to them. iirc yeop joined them for the superband live performance tours and has been with them ever since. nanro/stove was the first song they wrote together with yeop i believe.

i've written too much already but i just feel the need to say superband (both seasons, although i still have yet to watch the second in full) is 100% worth watching for anyone who likes kbands and/or wants to know more about lucy. it's not your typical evil-editing drama-creating survival show at all, there are some sad parts by nature of eliminations and wonsang/yeop/ha hyunsang crying but it's very fun to watch overall. it's been described as a blind dating show for musicians 😂not all of the episodes are subbed and not watching the ones that aren't is understandable but all of the performances are at least worth watching. i still regularly watch wonsang's arrangement of adventure of a lifetime and my jaw is on the floor every time. it's also fun if you like multiple of the musicians on there cause pretty much everyone on the show ended up being good friends so it's very wholesome and heartwarming. for example i will never get over this interaction between yechan and hoppipolla's hong jinho ahhhh and this one 🥺

ANYWAY yeah flare originally sounded really different cause juhyuk was singing instead of yeop!!! i love both versions, tbh yeop's voice is more my style in general and i love the contrast that they have now between his and gwangil's voice, but there was a bit of a different kind of magic when juhyuk sang that song - idk if it's cause that was the first version i heard or like, his voice has a little bit of a mystical quality to it i think? yeop's version is grounding and juhyuk's is floaty. they also did snooze on superband!!!