#this is also the last thing that myles is gonna remember for quite a while

[smolcrow465]

Day 29 (2023): Massive

He couldn't believe what he was seeing. This thing towered over them to the point where he couldn't even see the top of it. And this was just its leg.

[orangerosebush]

What’s in a name?

[ao3 link]

Juliet Butler was used to sharing. The weight of her last name. Her brother. Her space within the manor. It seemed that just by being born at this time, within this family, she was expected to follow a certain path in life that was so far tangled up in the Fowls as to not really be hers at all.

It didn’t surprise her brother when she sat him down at age 18 and told him she was going to try a crack at something new in America with the wrestling circuit, but it did surprise him when she came back a mere three years later. It was shortly after when Artemis checked into the psychiatrist in Haven — she had come to the clinic with Butler and Artemis, and she took the shuttle back to the manor with Butler.

Butler didn’t want to say anything too pointed. They’d have to talk about if she was here to stay for good eventually, but she had just gotten back; he knew that she was proud enough that she’d pack her bags again if she felt he was suggesting her experiment in the U.S. with carving her own path had failed.

So they didn’t talk about it. They both went on, carefully watching each other as they circled around the elephant in the room.

It had been a week since she arrived at the manor, and it looked like they could avoid the subject altogether if they tried hard enough. Their patterns during the day were certainly different enough that they could rely on their interactions being brief enough to make having a conversation about what Juliet was going to do easy to sidestep.

He was far busy enough trying to explain to Mrs. Fowl why her son was staying with a psychologist a few thousand kilometers under the earth’s surface. Neither the mental health conversation nor the magic conversation was going particularly well, he winced. Of course, Mr. Fowl was significantly out of the loop, but he’d never really been in any loop regarding his son. At least with Myles and Beckett, he could trust that Juliet was enough of a distraction from Artemis’ second leave of the family. Both the boys had noticed, of course, that their brother was gone again, but they were too dazzled by the newness of Juliet to ask either their mother or him about where Artemis was.

Butler leaned back in his chair, looking out of his room’s window at the sunlight. The clouds had cleared for the first time in a while, and the Fowl estate sprawled out across the surrounding acres of land. The wing that his room was in faced the old forest on the grounds, and he could just about make out the distant scene of Juliet and the boys by the pond at the edge of the trees. Juliet appeared to be allowing Becket to sit on her shoulders while Myles sat on the grass and looked at the water.

He smiled to himself, feeling the lines under his eyes crease upwards. From a distance, she could have been their older sister. Pulling his eyes away from the glass, he glanced back at the inside of the room. He sighed. Rolling his shoulders, he reached for the book he’d set down on his coffee table last night.

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢ The manor was quiet. Juliet paused at the bottom of the staircase, hand ghosting over the handrail. If she looked close enough, she could make out the scuffs that Artemis and her brother weren’t quite able to get out of the wall after the troll wrecked the hallway during the hostage situation. She exhaled slightly, a grin quirking the sides of her mouth upwards as she imagined Artemis getting snippy over her usage of ‘hostage situation’. “Please, Juliet,” she remembered him sighing a while back. “It’s rude to leave out the nuance of it all like that”.

She tightened her grip on the banister. Slowly, Juliet made her way up towards her room.

⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢⌢

There was a knock on the door. Butler set his book on his lap.

“Come in,” he called out, fully prepared to see Angeline.

The door opened cautiously, and there was Juliet, her hand lingering on the doorknob.

“Hey,” she scuffed her feet against the carpet. Butler blinked.

“Er, hi.”

They both stood there, self-consciously waiting for the other to say something.

“I took the twins outside.”

“I saw. They seemed to have a good time.”

Juliet shrugged, finally walking all the way in to the room. Letting the door close slowly behind her, she sat down gently on the edge of his bed. “Yeah, I guess. They like the pond. I remember liking getting into whatever was muddiest on the property when I was their age.”

He grinned. Butler remembered taking Juliet outside to run before dark when she was young — she’d always had a wild child energy to her.

“Beckett reminds me of you,” he smiled. “He’s very determined to find trouble somewhere on the grounds I’ve worked so hard at child-proofing.”

Juliet rolled her eyes. “They’re both troublemakers.”

“True,” Butler laughed, leaning back in his chair. Juliet grinned. She stretched slightly, flopping back onto the bed.

“It’s weird being back,” she sighed. “Like, I’m back in my old room, and what’s still up on the wall? The Spice Girls poster I had when I was, what, eight? It’s like a time capsule I don’t even want.”

“I’m sure most twenty-somethings coming back from university feel the same way about seeing the stuff they plastered up all over their room when they were younger,” he chuckled softly.

At that, she sat back up to look at him, putting her weight on her right arm. “I’m not most twenty-somethings, though. I didn’t even go to uni—“

Butler scrunched his face up in confusion. “Do you even want to go to uni?”

Juliet groaned, gripping the duvet in annoyance. “I don’t know if I want to go to uni, that’s the thing! I thought I wanted to go to America, be a wrestler, but then something happened with Artemis. And, a-and I was sitting in the hospital cafeteria with Mulch, and you know what I realized? I’d tried professional wrestling, and now I was bored! I love wrestling! I love my teammates! I love traveling and seeing new people, and getting to be Juliet instead of Juliet Butler. But I still woke up each day loving the gig a little less than I did the night before, and I can’t live like that. You know that, Dom.”

Juliet’s eyes were shining, and she loosened her grip on the bed sheets. Butler set his book down gently on the floor. Standing slowly, his knees cursing him, he moved to sit next to her.

“I missed you,” he said simply. “I’m sorry about America.”

She reached over, putting her hand on his shoulder. “I missed you, too.”

“I want you to know that you can stay as long as you need. I can also help you find an apartment nearby if what you need to is to be here without being here, if that makes sense.”

Juliet let out a small grin, retracting her hand from his shoulder to rub the wetness from her eyes. “I like my old room, but thanks.”

She grabbed a pillow, holding it on her lap and looking up at the ceiling pensively. “I don’t want to just be a Butler for Myles and Beckett, though. That’s never going to be me, I know that.”

“I know. I think the Fowls know that, too.”

Juliet nodded earnestly. “Cool. That’s good.”

“Thank you for talking to me about this, by the way,” Butler sighed, looking at her.

“I don’t care what happens — at the end of the day, I’m still your older brother. I want you to let me in when you’re hurting—“ Juliet scoffed, but he continued. “I know you’re not a child anymore, I know that! But I hate the idea of you feeling as though you have to go it alone because you need to prove something to the world,” he finished, eyes pleading.

The two of them sat in silence, the sound of birds outside filtering into the room the only noise in the room. Finally, Juliet sighed, leveling her gaze on him.

“Okay.”

He started. “O-okay?”

She snorted, throwing her pillow at him. “Yeah, okay, nerd. I’ll keep you in the loop.”

Butler caught the pillow, laughing incredulously. “Okay!”

Suddenly, Juliet’s eyes widened. “I still have to tell my manager that I’m dropping out, shit”

Butler stared at her. “You didn’t tell him?”

She waved a hand dismissively. “I think he knows, considering it’s been, what, a couple of weeks by now? But after you showed up,” she jabbed him with a finger pointedly. “I was so caught up in whatever end-of-the-world business Artemis had gotten us caught up in that I never gave my ‘official’ two-weeks notice, or whatever.”

Butler sat there in silence for a moment, thinking. “I… don’t think you should call him, actually.”

“Me neither.”

“I think he’s going to be pissed.”

“Wow, really? Because I think he’ll be psyched one of the best acts in the group just dropped out without letting him know. Dom, obviously I’m gonna get yelled at by him if I so much as look at my phone.”

A side of Butler’s mouth quirked upwards. “One of the best acts?”

Juliet sniffed. “I was being humble. I’m a Butler, it’s clear I’m the best.”

At that, he laughed, and she shoved him. “Shut up! I am going to let him know eventually. I’m telling Sam that I’m not rejoining the troupe tonight—”

“Sam?” Butler frowned, and Juliet stuck her tongue out at him.

“Don’t be annoying. She’s my teammate. You saw her and I sparring before you dragged me off to Haven. We’re scheduled for matches together, so she, out of everybody, deserves to know first about my decision,” she chided.

“I wasn’t prying!” Butler said defensively.

“Fiiiine, you weren’t prying,” Juliet teased. Butler rolled his eyes.

“So, she’s your teammate. That’s nice! I’m glad you have friends in the troupe.” Butler tossed the pillow back to its original place on his bed.

“Yeah, it is nice. She’s cool, you’d like her. It’s… stupid, but I already kind of miss her,” Juliet’s tone softened. Butler’s eyes widened slightly. Oh.

“You could ask her to visit sometime, if you’d like,” he offered, trying to be nonchalant.

Juliet hummed. “Maybe. I’ll see how things go tonight with her.”

With that, she stood up from the bed. “I’m going to get ready for dinner. I think we’ve had enough awkward sibling heart-to-heart conversations for today,” she grinned, and Butler knew that eventually, things would be okay. Maybe they wouldn’t go back to normal, but that was okay. He had his sister back.

Pausing at the door, Juliet turned to face him. “It’s nice to be back home with you, Dom.”

He smiled. “Love you, too, Jules”

Juliet grinned, closing the door after her, and Butler was left alone. The sun was starting to get low in the sky, and the light cast shadows across his room.

He picked up his book again, running his fingers down the spine to stop at the name of the author. Violet Tsirblou. The book was, in all honesty, quite bad. The dialogue was awkward, the plot stilted, and the characters alien-feeling. Butler felt the smile lines on his face deepen. Artemis must have written it when he was about ten.

Butler put his hand on the window sill, his gaze falling on the pond. Myles and Beckett. Artemis and Juliet.

It would all be okay, in the end. It had to be. Butler let his hand fall from the sill. Sitting back down tiredly, he opened the book to where he had left it.

[wonderful-writer]

11 - Never Mine

Summary: A fire burns down the camp’s meat house, leaving everyone available to go hunting in pairs. Y/n and Harper go together, allowing Harper to fill Y/n in on what happened on Unity Day. When she arrives back to camp, she sees something she didn’t want to see. 

Word Count: 2.07k

Based Off: 01x11 “The Calm”

A/N: So my phone is supposed to be coming sometime today and I’m really anxious about it, also I’m almost done writing season two and I might be taking a break from posting for a week to catch up and get even more ahead on chapters

You’d given yourself every watch shift that you could, even relieving some people of their own to do double shifts as a means to distract yourself from your constantly wandering thoughts. Since there was no movement or signs of grounders, standing on guard didn’t do much.

You were constantly reminded of Jasper’s and your mothers when yesterday, Bellamy had come himself to lure you away from your post when Monroe informed him that you shooed her away when she came to take over for her shift and that you had been there since dawn.

You saw him talking with Clarke ahead of you, making sure to glance back at you every so often. He walked off with Clarke, back into camp. A commotion inside camp drew your attention away, seeing a fire starting in the meat house. You rushed away from your post for the first time since this morning.

You checked over Octavia as Bellamy broke up the fight that had begun. She assured you that she was okay and you patted her shoulder with a smile, which she returned.

“Now what the hell are we gonna do?” Octavia yelled over the flames. “That was all the food!”

Nothing was able to be salvaged, and there wasn’t enough food on the dropship to last everyone, so Clarke decided to get everyone available out to hunt, even with the threat of grounders.

“Each group takes someone with a gun. And they’re for killing grounders, not food. We don’t have the ammo. Use the spears for hunting.” Bellamy shouted over everyone’s movement and murmurs. “Bring back what you can and be back by nightfall. No one stays out after dark.”

You didn’t feel the need to take a spear with you as you had your sword and daggers, but you teamed up with Harper, who was good with her gun and someone you knew you’d be able to be around.

As you left camp, with your eyes sharp, you decided to finally ask about Unity Day.

“Harper?”

“Yeah?”

“What the hell happened on Unity Day?” She giggled at your question but replied.

“How much do you remember?”

“I remember everything up until we were at the fire.” You admitted, stepping over a tree root.

“You can’t even remember the best part!” She laughed. “We played truth or dare. Me, you, Monroe, Jasper, and Monty.”

“And?” You asked.

“And it was pretty boring until I decided to ask you if you would have sex with Bellamy if you had to.” You blushed at the words but stayed silent for her to continue. “And you said, and I quote, ‘Hell yeah I would jump his bones if I absolutely had to’.”

“Oh, God.” You groaned, putting a hand on your face. Note to self, never get drunk again.

You sighed, still feeling confused about everything afterwards, and how you ended up in your tent. “Wait a second, how did I get back into my tent?”

“Oh, that.” Harper smiled giddily. “Bellamy carried you there almost immediately after you answered my question. Said he was preventing you from saying or doing anything else incredibly stupid.”

Your blush increased tenfold, knowing that he heard your honest response. You wondered if Jasper lied about Bellamy knowing your true feelings, but shook your head at the thought and focused on getting food for camp.

You and Harper hauled back a boar and some smaller animals, but nothing else. You went to clean your sword and daggers while she took the game over to where the new meat house was supposed to be.

After they were cleaned, you put them back in your tent and decided to tell Bellamy about how much food everyone gathered. You pulled back the flap as you began talking, eyes focused on the ground. “Everyone’s back now, we didn’t-”

You cut yourself off at the sight in front of you. Bellamy, sweaty and quite possibly naked in bed, with Raven pulling her pants on by the bed. You gasped and started to back away from the scene, eyes wide and tear-filled, as Raven looked at you apologetically and Bellamy tried to get you back in the tent as much as he could, being naked and all.

As soon as you were out of the tent you went to Jasper’s tent, praying he was in there. The tears in your eyes and falling down your cheeks made it hard for you to see, but he wasn’t there. You wiped your tears and took a shaky inhale, walking back out to bump into Octavia.

“Y/n? What happened? Are- are you okay?” You shook your head and frowned at her question, another flow of tears running down your face. She pulled you back into the empty tent to comfort you and figure out what was wrong.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay.” She pressed your head to her shoulder as you wrapped your arms around her waist, sitting down on one of the beds with her. She stroked your hair and calmed you down enough to get you to talk.

“What happened, Y/n/n?” She asked as you lifted your head from her shoulder.

“God, it was awful!” You sobbed. “He- Bellamy slept with Raven!” You cried again. You didn’t know that it would have this kind of effect on you. That he would have this effect on you.

“And Jasper, he- he said that Bellamy loved me back because I love him, I really really love him.” Your voice was thick with tears, and Octavia never thought she could hate her brother more than she did now.

“Oh, Y/n. You’ll be okay. He’s no good for you, anyways.” She comforted you.

“But that’s the thing, Octavia. He’s my best friend. He knows me like the back of my hand and we’ve only been down here almost a month! And I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, and I don’t think I want to lose him, too. He doesn’t love me and I can’t look at him knowing that and I fucking hate it. He's my best friend and I hate him, but I love him too.”

“Sweetie, I don’t know how to help you. I’m sorry that I can’t help you, I really am. But the best thing for you to do right now is to ignore him. Give yourself time to heal. And if he tries to approach you, come to me. I’ll punch him for you. Or better yet, punch him yourself.”

You laughed at her words and wiped away your tears, composing yourself. “Thanks, ‘Tavia. I’m gonna go freshen up, you get some rest.” You patted her knee and left the tent, willing all emotions to leave your body as you went to wash your face and attempt to cover up the tear stains.

Soon you found yourself alone in the woods with Bellamy, while Octavia, Monty, and Raven were split up, communicating over the walkie-talkie to look for Clarke and Finn, who hadn’t yet returned from their hunting trip.

“Just keep the moon to your left and you’ll find us,” Bellamy repeated to Monty. You walked in silence, sword drawn.

“Listen, Y/n-”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Blake. You wanted to have some fun, Raven was fun. I get it. Now shut up and keep your eyes peeled.” You said coldly. His eyes showed that he was hurt by your words, but when Monty kept talking over the walkies, Bellamy cut in.

“Damn it, Monty. Just pay attention.” He commanded. “Do you see anything?”

“Report.” He demanded when no response came. There was a screech and then static until Raven’s voice came through.

“There’s someone in the bushes.” She said in a low tone.

You moved to where they were, seeing Myles laying on the ground, injured. “Clarke and Finn, where are they?”

“Grounders took them.” He wheezed out.

“Take it easy,” Bellamy instructed. “We have to get him back to camp.”

“Bell, what about Clarke and Finn?” Octavia asked worriedly.

Raven stood and began to cry softly when no response left Bellamy’s lips. “Raven, I’m sorry.” You rolled your eyes at the exchange, even though you probably shouldn’t have.

“We need to make a stretcher.” She decided before walking off to find materials.

“Monty, we’re heading home. You copy?” Bellamy spoke into the walkie-talkie. “Monty, can you hear me?”

The lack of response worried you.

“Monty.” Bellamy tried again. “Monty, where the hell are you?”

Raven came up with enough material to make a stretcher to bring Myles back to camp with, You carrying one end with Octavia while Raven and Bellamy carried the other. Having everyone in such close quarters made the trip back home long, awkward, and intense.

“Put him over there,” You pointed with a free hand to the empty table in the dropship. You planned on tending to Myles’ wounds as much as you could until you found Clarke and she could finish patching him up, but you couldn’t do much for him.

You spent the better part of an hour just removing the arrowheads from his body, as they were difficult all on their own. Once they were out you attempted to stitch him up based on what you’d seen Clarke do for you when you ripped your own, and by then he was passed out from the pain. The quiet unnerved you, but you didn’t mind.

The only sound that was heard was water dripping when you cleaned the blood around his freshly stitched cuts so you could put bandages. You were glad that you had helped heal him, but you felt that leaving the dropship wasn’t going to do any good for you.

And you were right. Bellamy was waiting for you outside the dropship, and as soon as you descended the ramp, he began to talk as you looked straight ahead.

“Listen, Y/n, I’m sorry, I-”

“I don’t know why you’re apologizing to me, Blake.” You deadpanned, stopping to turn to Bellamy with a cold face.

“It’s not like I’m your girlfriend or anything. I don’t need an explanation. You’re a grown man and everyone has urges. So just give up and drop the apologies. And while you’re at it, just leave me alone for a while.” It took almost everything you had to will the tears to not make an appearance, and it took just as much to keep a straight face and say what you did.

You saw the hurt in Bellamy’s face and your heart broke knowing that you caused it, but you walked away and into your tent anyways, forcing yourself not to turn around and comfort him. Because that isn’t who you are anymore. Earth changes people. Pain changes people.

You noticed that Jasper was back, and decided to pay him a visit. He was the one to comfort you when you were children, and you could use some of that now.

“Hey, Jasp.” You greeted him as you entered, a sad spark in your tone as you threw him a tight-lipped smile.

“What’s wrong?” He immediately asked.

“How do you always know when I’m upset?” You asked curiously.

“That tight smile, for starters. And your voice, I could hear it when you said hi.” he pointed out, causing you to nod, before slowly dissolving into tears. Jasper came to your aid, wrapping his arms around you in a hug.

“Are you okay?” Your only response was a shake of the head.

“He doesn’t love me,” You whispered.

“What? Of course, he does, Y/n/n,” Jasper attempted, rubbing your back.

You raised your head at his words and looked at him with your red eyes. “Oh, yeah? If he felt anything for me, anything at all, why the hell would he sleep with Raven?”

Jasper’s eyes widened at your comment, before his face filled with anger. “That son of a bitch-”

You stopped Jasper before he could move out of the tent. “Don’t. I took care of it already. I’m going to ignore him for a little while, I’ll be fine. I just need time for myself.”

Jasper nodded and you let go of him, shaking your body a little to relieve some of the extra energy you had, until one of the others called out from outside of the tent.

“Everyone's gotta get outside! We’re building foxholes!” 

It was going to be a long night.

Taglist: @soullessbabee | @hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis | @dummythiccwitch | @sireddobrev | @gxvrielle

[noladyme]

Skip To My Lou, My Darling - Chapter 4, Hunted Hunter I

The road so far…

Lulu’s relationship with Dean Winchester ended before it began; when the hunter informed her, that he thought angels had put them in each other’s path. He wanted free will, and didn’t believe their emotions were real. Now Lulu is on the path of living a new life; one without supernatural beings, angels – and the man she feels deeper for than anyone she’s ever met before or after.

Our story continues in season 7

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added) @edonaspanca​ @wonderlandfandomkingdom​

I

“Honey, grab me that roll of duct tape…”, Pete said. He was closing another cardboard box of books for me. I handed him the roll, and went back to the task of folding up clothes to put on top of the box of volumes I was packing myself. Pete came up behind me, and snaked his arms around my waist. “See?”, he said, while kissing my neck. “When you pack boxes half books/half clothes, they’re a lot less heavy”. “You’re right”, I muttered.

I turned around and kissed his cheek. He smelled nice; musky – but it lacked something. A certain note of smoke and charcoal. Gunpowder, I thought to myself. I tore myself from the thought, and grabbed another towel for the box. “Isn’t this Raul’s?”, Pete said; and held up a flannel shirt. “No… it’s mine”, I said. “Sort of”. Pete lifted a brow at me. “An ex?”, he jeered. “And you still have his shirt? What does he have, that I don’t?”, he grinned. I chuckled. “Taste in music”, I jeered; and went over to turn off the stereo, which had been playing Nickelback non-stop, since Pete arrived to help me finish my packing.

“The truck is waiting, muffin”, he said. “We need to finish this”. I lingered in front of a drawer in my dresser. “Yeah… Could you take down a few boxes?”, I said. “Sure”, he said; and walked over to take my hand. “Hey… this is the right move. Buddies going out of business like that… It’s the next step for us”. I nodded sadly. Pete grabbed the lightest box, and left the studio apartment I’d spent the last few years in.

We were moving to Kansas City; the home of my alma mater – where I’d been offered a position as a 3’rd grade teacher. Pete was going to focus on his music while I worked. He’d nabbed a gig as a bartender; and would also be going on a tour of Missouri about a week after we arrived, with his band. Sweet as he was, he was also a bit clingy since I’d agreed to go with him to Kansas. I was honestly looking forward to a full month to myself; without him hovering over me.

When I was sure he was gone, I opened the bottom drawer in the dresser; and lifted the fake bottom I’d put in it. Grabbing my utility jacket; I took the angel sword from the drawer, and slid into the inside pocket I’d sown into it – specifically for this reason. I also took my flask of holy water; and threw it in my purse. “Honey-sweetie-bunch?”, Pete said from behind me; making me jump. “What’s that? Secret drawer of toys?”, he winked. “Something like that”, I smiled; trying to hide the surprise in my voice. “Just a gift from a friend”. “The ex?”, he asked, narrowing his eyes. “Nope”, I said; and stood up. “Last box”, I said, and gestured towards the cardboard box on the floor. Pete grunted. “My back is killing me…”. I rolled my eyes, and picked up the box myself, as he held the door for me.

As he closed it behind us, he ran his hand over the carved sigil on the wood. “No surprise you didn’t get much of a deposit back”, he muttered. “Come on”. I looked at the sigil, sighed; and followed my boyfriend down the stairs.

---

A little over week later I was stood in my new kitchen, kissing Pete goodbye. “I’m gonna miss you so much”, he breathed into my hair. “Me too”, I said. He slid his hand down my arm; brushing the almost invisible scars there. “Just remember, I’m coming back. Ok?”, he said. “You’ll be fine. Think happy thoughts. And no more weird occult books”. “Uh huh”, I muttered. Pete still thought my scars were from a suicide attempt. “I love you”, he smiled. “You too”, I said. He leaned in and pecked my lips. “Bye”.

I closed the door after him, and took a deep breath. Thank god, I thought. “Hello, Lulu”, a voice behind me said. I grabbed the kitchen knife on the counter, and turned around quickly. My eyes widened. “Castiel?”, I croaked. I put down the knife, and rushed over to embrace the angel. Unsurprisingly, he didn’t reciprocate the hug. “What are you doing here?”, I asked.

The angel strolled through the combined kitchen and living room, seemingly taking in the sights. He looked a little worse for wear; red marks around his eyes. “This is your home now”, he said, more as a statement than a question. “Yeah… me and…”. “Pete”, Castiel said. “I saw him leave. I decided against making myself known”. I narrowed my eyes. “I appreciate that… but you still didn’t tell me why you’re here”, I said. My breath hitched. “Are they…?”. “Sam and Dean are alive, and somewhat well”, he muttered. “Things have happened to me since we last met. I have gained powers beyond your comprehension. As a gesture of compassion, I’ve decided to let you know that I will no longer be watching over you”.

I stepped backwards from Cass; feeling a sudden chill all over my body. “You’ve been… watching”, I muttered. “Why?”. “As a favor to Dean. But I have more important things to tend to, than his emotions”. I made a scoffing laugh. “You’ve been reporting to him? About me…”. “Only on your wellbeing. I haven’t given him details on your life. Only that you live and thrive”, Castiel said. “And I won’t be doing that anymore. You are on your own. I have a final gift, as a thank you for your former loyalty”. He put his hand to my chestbone, and a surge of pain went through my entire body. I yelped in pain. “Now angels will not be able to find you. I will have mercy on you in the upcoming battle”. “What? Cass, I…”. He was gone.

I sat down on a chair; my hands shaking. Dialing up the only number I could think of, with bated breath, I waited for the call to go through. “Agent Fisher speaking…”. “Bobby?”, I croaked. “Who’s this?”, the old man grunted. “It’s Lulu…”. There was a pause. “It’s been a while… Why no calls?”, he asked. “I’ve been... trying to move on”. “I figured that… just thought you’d let your Uncle Bobby know how you were doing. Are you still into leisurely reading about the occult?”. “Yes…”, I admitted.

I’d been receiving calls from Bobby about once a month since I left South Dakota with Castiel. He’d had me look up creatures and ghosts I knew he could easily find info on himself. I figured he wanted to keep me studying up to keep me warm for potential hunting in the future. In spite of the thrill I’d felt helping the Winchesters and him solve the case of both the bloody countess and the myling; the thought of actually hunting myself, was much too farfetched. And it reminded me of someone I didn’t want to think about. I’d stopped calling Bobby back a good six months earlier.

“What’s wrong, kid?”, Bobby asked quietly. “I just had a visit from our winged friend”. “You saw Cass?”, he asked. “What did he do to you?”. “I don’t know. It was painful. He said angels wouldn’t be able to find me… What’s going on, Bobby?”. “Same as always”, he grunted. “End of the world… that sort of thing?”, I said. “Something like that… He’s put some markings on your bones. Old enochian... It’ll hide you from angels”. I heard him take a deep breath. “Sweetheart, it’s good to hear your voice. Are you ok?”. “Yeah. I guess… In spite of the angel bad-touching me. He was saying some weird things. About watching over me”, I muttered. “Apparently, he quits. So, if you could tell Dean, that would be great”. “Lulu, it’s not like that…”, Bobby began. “You don’t have to defend him. I’m sure he just thought he was doing the right thing… again”, I said. “I just wish he’d make up his mind. Be in my life, or not”. “From what I hear, you’d prefer the not”, Bobby grunted. “What do you mean?”, I croaked. He didn’t answer. “Bobby!”. “I’ve been keeping tabs on you… Wanted to make sure you were ok”. “Dammit, Bobby. What is it with you hunters?”, I growled. “Can’t help it, kid. You grew on me”. I smiled to myself, as Bobby continued “You would have made a great hunter. Or at least researcher. You were my favorite assistant, you know”. “So you stalked me?”, I chuckled. “I have a friend with a computer”, Bobby grunted. “Kansas City?”. “Yeah… for now, I guess”, I said. “And the boyfriend?”, Bobby said. “Is he aware that it’s for now?”. I sighed. “Just… please let him know. Tell him I’m fine, and to…”. I didn’t know how to finish the sentence. “I will”, Bobby said. “Bye”, I croaked. “Goodbye, kid”, he said. I hung up.

---

Some months later, I was at work; ignoring phone calls from Pete. He’d been calling non stop since I moved out of our shared apartment, and into a hotel room. His texts were constant, and I was reeling from lack of sleep, due to my neighbors in the hotel keeping me up with loud fights.

As I said goodbye to the kids for the weekend, my phone once again rang. I closed the door to my classroom, and finally relented – picking up the call. “Pete. I told you…”. “Lulu…”. There was that voice that had always made my heart flutter – and I had missed so bad I could feel it in my bones, whether I wanted to admit it to myself or not. “Dean… hi”, I said. “It’s been a while”. “Yeah…”, he sounded choked. “What’s wrong?”, I asked. “It’s, uhm… It’s Bobby. We lost him, Lulu”. I gasped raggedly. “Bobby’s dead?”, I croaked. “Yeah. He’s gone”. “I’m so sorry, Dean”, I breathed. “Me too… He had some stuff he wanted you to have”, Dean said quietly. “We’re in Kansas. I was wondering if I could drop them by”. The thought of seeing my former paramour again made my breath hitch. “Uhm… yeah. I’m in…”, I began. “I know”, he muttered. “Tonight? It’ll just be me. I hope that’s ok”. “Yeah, sure. I’ll be there”, I said quietly. “See you”, he said, and hung up.

I had to sit down for a moment. Bobby was gone. And I was about to see Dean for the first time in almost three years. My heart was racing; and when my phone rang again, I picked it up immediately.

“Dean?”, I rasped. “Who’s Dean, honey?”, Pete’s voice asked. I sighed. “No one, Pete. I asked you not to call me again”. “Lulukins, I miss you so bad it hurts”, he said “I can’t do this right now. I just heard about a death in the family, and I…”. “Do you want me to drop by? I could bring a movie…”, Pete almost pleaded. “No, that’s not necessary. Just… please leave me alone”. I hung up.

I drove back to my hotel – heart frayed, and at the same time jumping out of my chest. Knowing what had happened the last time I saw a Winchester just having lost someone they loved, I picked up a bottle of bourbon, and for Dean’s – and my own sake – I got a pie and canned whipped cream as well. I spent a good while in front of the mirror, pretending that I wasn’t trying to make myself look nice.

When the door knocked, I sprang over to it – then paused, as to not make myself seem too eager. I opened the door, and there he stood.

“Hi…”, I croaked. “Hey”, he whispered. We stood in silence for a moment, before I stepped aside. “Come in”. Dean stepped into my room, and looked around. “This is… nice”, he said. “It’s a dump. But it’s cheap”.

He looked at me with sad eyes. I stepped over to him, and put my arms around his neck; hugging him tightly. “I’m so sorry”, I whispered, as tears began flooding my eyes. “Bobby…”. He slid his arms around me. He smelled different than I remembered. More crisp. “Yeah… It sucks”. He pulled back. “A drink?”, I asked. “Sure…”.

He went to sit down by the small table in the room, and I handed him a glass of whiskey I’d already prepared. “How are you? Both of you?”, I asked, not wanting him to think I was specifically concerned for him. “We’re good… considering”, he muttered. “You? Anything weird going on here?”. I frowned, and sat down across from him, lifting my glass, and taking a sip. “I’m ok. Just sad to hear about Bobby. What happened?”. Dean looked down. “He was shot… in the head”. My breath grew ragged. “And he’s not coming back… like you did”. He looked at me; his eyes strangely distant – like he was looking at a complete stranger. “No. He’s gone for good”.

I lifted my glass. “To Bobby”, I muttered. Dean lifted his own glass, and clinked mine. “To Bob”, he said, and drank. I held my breath for a moment, and let it go once he put down his glass again.

I went over to the fridge, and got out the pie; cutting two slices. He looked at me intently. “Cream?”, I asked. “No thanks”, he said quietly. I frowned to myself, and looked over my shoulder at him; as I got two forks from the small kitchenette drawer, and placed a plate in front of Dean. “Sorry about the mismatched silverware. Like I said, this place is a dump”. He half smiled, and shrugged.

I sat down with my own pie, and cut a piece. “Eat up”, I said, and put the piece into my mouth; savoring the sweet taste. “Not hungry?”, I asked. He shook his head. “Not really…”. “It’s pie, Dean”, I said. He looked at me, and grabbed the fork; finally taking a piece himself – suddenly almost devouring it with insatiable hunger.

“So, you really haven’t seen anything strange around? No weirdness at all?”, he asked; his mouth full. I stood up, and went over to grab the bottle of whiskey from the counter. “No… why are you asking?”. He shrugged. “I just thought… After Bobby, someone might come for you”. The way he said it was as if he didn’t really care. “Are you asking about Cass?”, I said. “Oh, no… He’s dead too”. My jaw dropped. “Cass is dead?”. “Yup. Sort of… drowned”.

I poured him another glass. “You seem… indifferent”, I muttered. He looked at me coldly. “He was… my friend”. “Yes”, I nodded. “You’re not upset about him being gone?”. Dean suddenly smiled. The sight gave me shivers. “He was put to good use”.

I stepped backwards, heading for my jacket. “You going somewhere?”, Dean grunted; his green eyes hard. I smiled softly at him. “No, just needed something in my pocket”, I said, and slid my hand around the handle of the sword there. “You said you had something for me”, I muttered, and held the blade to my chest; keeping my back to him. I could see him shift in his chair, as his movements where mirrored in the water tap. He rose, and walked towards me; making a chill run down my spine. “I lied”, he said. “I just needed a good look at you before I eat you, and take your form”.

I spun around, and slashed at him; making him jump backwards. Leaning back on my right foot, I sprang forward again; the blade going through his gut. He simply looked at me – grinning. “What are you?”, I snarled. “Beyond your comprehension, human”, he hissed.

I pulled back the knife, and sprang for the door; the creature looking like Dean blocking my path with inhuman speed. “No, you don’t”, he chuckled. “Feisty, aren’t you?” “You don’t know the half of it”, I sneered, and slashed at him again “That doesn’t hurt me”, he smiled, and jumped at me.

I hacked at his hand, parting it from his arm; as he looked on in wonder. “Now I’ll have to grow a new one, you bitch!”, he growled.

Suddenly the door blew open, and two people I was very happy to see sprang inside. “Lou! Get back!”, the real Dean growled. He threw a glass jar of some kind of liquid at the creature; and as it splintered, and the monster was covered by the stuff, it began screaming in pain – smoke coming from it’s skin. “Let’s go!”, Sam yelled. I grabbed my jacket, and ran down the hall – Dean grabbing my hand as we went. As we passed the reception counter, Dean threw a wad of bills at the guy behind it. “She’s checking out!”, he snarled, and with a hand on my back, he led me out of the door to the street.

Sam and Dean flanked me, and we walked down the street. “Just walk; don’t run”, Sam muttered. “Pretend everything is fine”. “What’s going on?”, I asked. “Later”, Dean said. “Keep moving”. I tried my best to look inconspicuous, and walked between the two men as if we were just taking an evening stroll. “I left my purse… my wallet”, I whispered. “You won’t need it”, Dean grunted. “This way”.

He pushed me towards an alleyway, where a station wagon was parked. Something was wrong – Dean wouldn’t be caught dead in this suburban-mom nightmare. My breath hitched. “Who are you?”, I said; and pulled out the sword again. “What are you talking about?”, Sam asked. From another pocket, I produced my flask. “Drink!”, I snarled.

He let out a breath, and grabbed the flask; drinking from it before handing it to Dean, who did the same. “We could still be shifters”, the elder brother muttered, and handed me back the flask. “Silver coated…”, I said; and held up the flask. “Good girl”, Dean said; the corner of his lip lifting.

“Hey!”, a loud voice yelled. I looked in its direction, and saw another Sam. “Get in the car”, Dean said; and opened the door to the back seat for me, slamming it shut after I got in. The brothers jumped in the front seat, and Dean put the key in the ignition, turning it. Only clicking sounds came from the engine. “Come on, you piece of crap!”, he growled, and turned the key again. The other Sam ran towards us, and slammed his palms on the hood of the car. Dean turned the key, cursing below his breath; and the engine started. He slammed down the pedal; and drove straight at the copy of his brother, making him roll over the hood, and onto the ground.

Dean raced down the alley, and turned onto the busy street.

We drove in silence for a while; leaving the city behind us. My heart was racing, and I almost thought it was my own body shaking, when I felt my phone vibrating in my back pocket. It was Pete. “I can’t talk!”, I said. “Honey, where are you? There’re police at your hotel!”, he almost yelled. “I’m… The family thing”, I said. “I should be with you”, he said. “You really shouldn’t. And stop calling”. I hung up.

Dean looked at me in the back mirror. “Boyfriend?”, he asked. “Ex”, I muttered. He held my gaze for a moment, before returning to the road. “Can you turn on the radio? I need a distraction from the guy who’s hand I just chopped off”. Sam turned on the radio. “Pop Radio. All night for your listening pleasure”, a cheery voice said. A soft guitar began playing. “Lying in your arms, so close together. Didn’t know just what I had. Now I toss and turn, ‘cuz I’m without you. How I’m missing you so bad…”, the song began.

Dean turned off the radio again. “We need CD’s for this piece of junk”, he grumbled.

After about 30 minutes of driving, we pulled up at a dreary looking motel. The brothers led me into a generic looking rented room. Once inside, Sam locked and bolted the door. I stood for a moment, just looking at the two men in front of me. This time it was really Dean – I was sure of it. He was a little older – a few crows’ feet at the corner of his eyes, which in no way to away from his handsomeness. In a strange way, they added to it. His green eyes sparkled, and his lips drew upwards into a soft smile. I sprang into his arms; and he held me tightly, as I buried my face in the crook of his neck. Musk, gunpowder and whiskey. He was warm, and his arms enveloped me in that familiar and comforting way; that yet had me feel like I was touching him for the first time, and sent delightful heat straight to my core – and to my heart. Yeah. This was Dean. As I pulled back, I had to fight the urge to brush my lips against his.

I turned to Sam, and he pulled me close, kissing the top of my head. “Hi, Lulu”, he said quietly. “Sorry about the abrupt kidnapping”. “It’s ok. Figured it was life or death”, I smiled. The brothers both let out a soft chuckle.

I went to sit down, my legs shaking slightly. “You live dangerously, Lou”, Dean said. “Two years, and you just let me walk in to your place?”. I shrugged. “I took precautions”, I said. He frowned. “I poured holy water into his drink, and had him eat with a silver fork”, I said. “That’ll work against demons and shifters, not leviathans”, he muttered. “What?”, I grimaced. “No one told me about any leviathans. And I don’t know what those are”. “Gods original monsters”, Sam said. “Bad guys”. I scoffed. “That became quite apparent, when he mentioned eating me”.

I sighed. “So, he was lying, right? About Bobby being dead? Cass?”. Sadness marked both the brother’s faces. I drew in a short breath. “No…”, I whimpered. “Gunshot… with Bobby”, Dean muttered, not meeting my eyes. “Castiel?”, I whispered. “We’re not sure…”, Sam said. “He… brought them here. The leviathans”.

I closed my eyes, and shook my head. “He came to see me a while back. Talked about watching over me”. I sent Dean a look. He seemed uncomfortable. “Bobby told us”, Sam said. “He also mentioned you were in Kansas”. “He’d been keeping track of me, after I stopped returning his calls”, I replied. Dean frowned. “You kept in touch?”. “Did some research for him”, I said. “Greenbrier Ghost in West Virginia ring a bell?”. He narrowed his eyes at me. “You tracked down the husbands grave”, Sam smiled. I nodded.

Dean sat down across the table from me. He raised a worried brow. “Bobby had you hunting?”, he grunted. “Not exactly”, I said. “I was just looking up stuff for him”. Sam chuckled. “But he was heading in that direction with you, wasn’t he…?”. “I think so…”, I muttered “He wanted me studying, I know that much”. Dean shook his head in frustration. “What?”, I asked. “He should have left you alone”, he muttered. I narrowed my eyes at him. “What… Like stay out of my life, and not have angels following me around?”, I smirked.

Dean looked away, and cleared his throat. “We move on tomorrow”. “Move on where?”, I asked. “I have to go to work on Monday”. Sam frowned. “You should probably call in sick”, he said quietly. “Or dead”, Dean added.

I looked between the two men, my heart in my throat. “What’s going on?”, I croaked. “What’s a… leviathan?”. “Nasty sons of bitches, with one goal”, Dean said. “To eat”. I grimaced in confusion. “Us… humans”, Sam said. “Wow…”, I muttered. “That sounds… terrifying”. I swallowed hard. “And they were coming for me, why?”. Dean stood up, and went over to the minifridge to grab a beer. Sam looked at his brother, then moved his eyes to me; giving me a slight shrug in explanation. “Oh…”, I said. “They’re after you, and the…”. “People we care about, yeah”, Sam said.

I laughed and shook my head. “Just when I thought I got out”, I said. “You did get out, didn’t you?”, Dean asked, taking a swig of his beer. His eyes were hard. I nodded. “I stopped returning Bobby’s calls about a year ago. Suddenly, sadness took over me. “I wish I’d…”. Tears welled up in my eyes. “I loved that cranky old bastard”. Sam put a hand on my shoulder, and squeezed it. “We know”.

I wiped my eyes in my sleeve, and let out a deep breath. “The… other Dean said he left something for me”, I said. “It’s why I said yes to him visiting me”. The Winchesters looked at each other for a moment, before Sam stepped over to his bag, and grabbed a leather bound journal – much like the one their father had left them. “Sam, no”, Dean grunted. “He wanted her to have it”, Sam said. “Must have a had a reason for it”. Dean furrowed his brows in exasperation. “Yeah, he wanted her to hunt. And she’s not doing that”. “Not your call”, Sam said.

He handed me the book. It was a collection of notes on supernatural creatures; scribbled in a familiar hand. The curses written in the margins made me smile slightly. This was Bobby’s journal. “He left this for me”, I whispered. “Sort of”, Sam said. “His death came as a surprise, so he didn’t exactly have a will. But there’s this”. He opened the first page of the book, and pulled out a note from a small pocket in the leather. “If found, deliver to Lulu Moore”, it read. “I can’t be the only one with that name in the country”, I muttered. “You’re probably the only one he knew”, Sam said.

I turned over the note. A message was written there. “If you’re reading this, I’m probably dead. There’s no other reason for this thing to be in anyone else’s hands. Lulu. Take care of this book. It contains most of the research you did for me, with my own additions. There are also writings from before we met, that I think might come in handy, if you ever come across those two knuckleheads we both know. Stay safe, kid. But don’t stop reading. - Garth, if this is you; stop reading my private notes. Give the book to the woman I meant it for. Bobby.”

I let out a deep breath, and closed the book; holding it tightly to my chest. “If you read this note, you knew I was helping him”, I said. Sam looked down. “I knew. Dean didn’t”. “You knew?”, Dean growled. “You know how I feel about her hunting!”. “Yes, that’s why I didn’t tell you”, Sam retorted. Dean shook his head, and laughed sarcastically. “Anything else you didn’t tell me?”, he snarled. Sam looked at me. “Pete…”, he muttered. “Bobby kept me up to speed”. Dean frowned. “Who’s Pete?”. I met his eyes. “Oh… the boyfriend”. “Ex”, I whispered. “It didn’t work out”.

Sam looked out the corner of his eye at his brother. Dean took another swig of his beer, before putting it on the counter. “Get some sleep. We leave early”, he grunted. “I’m going to pack the car. I’m telling you, because I tell people things”. He grabbed a duffle from the floor, and left the room – slamming the door behind him.

“That went well”, I muttered. “He’s just… in pain”, Sam said. “Take my bed”, he said, and gestured for one of the two beds in the room. I shook my head. “Couch is fine”, I said, took off my jacket; and went over to lay down.

I pretended to be asleep when Dean reentered the room. “She out?”, he muttered. “Think so”, Sam whispered. “Good”, Dean said. “We need to get her somewhere safe, and move on. She can’t be around us”. “Around you, you mean”, Sam answered. “Not having this conversation again…”, Dean replied, and I heard the mattress of his bed creaking as he laid down. “Dean…”, Sam whispered. “Goodnight, Sammy”, Dean said.

---

When I woke, Dean was packing up his bag, and Sam was gone. I sat up on the couch, and stretched. “Sleep ok?”, he asked. “Yeah… coffee?”, I rasped. He zipped up the bag. “There’s a vending machine by the reception”, he said. I stood up, and grabbed my coat. “I’ll get it”, he muttered without looking at me. “I can get my own coffee”, I said. “You shouldn’t go out alone”, he grunted. I sighed. “I’m going”, I said, and reached for the doorknob. “Lou, come here”, he said. I turned around. “What, Dean?”, I said. “Just… please?”, he asked more warmly.

I stepped over to him, and he held out a small handgun. “This is a .45. It’s like mine, just… better for you. Smaller”. He pulled out a magazine. “Push it in. Pull back the barrel once”. He showed me the mechanism of the gun. “Safety off, safety on. Pull the hammer…”. “Point and shoot”, I said. He put the gun in my hand. “Exactly”. He looked into my eyes, and for a moment it seemed like he wanted to say something important; before he looked down again. “Grab me a cup, would you?”. “Yeah…”, I whispered, and stuck the gun into my pocket.

Outside, Sam was closing the trunk of the car. “Coffee run”, I said. “You want anything?”. “I’m good”, he smiled. “You armed?”. “The reception is just over there”, I chuckled, and gesture towards the place I was going. “But yeah. .45”. Sam nodded. “You good, Lulu?”, he asked. I shrugged. “As I’ll ever be, I guess”.

My phone rang; Pete’s name blaring up on the screen. I rolled my eyes. “I gotta take this”, I muttered, and picked up the call. “Pete…”. “Lulu, where are you?”, he said. “I’m… with family”, I said, and began walking towards the front desk. “Those two men you left with… They’re bad news”, Pete exclaimed. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about me”. “The cops are looking for them”. “How do you know…? And how do you know I’m with them?”, I asked. Pete paused for a moment. “Some people saw you… Honey, I want you home. Safe”. “Pete, stop calling me honey, and… just stop calling me”. I hung up.

Once back at the car, I handed Dean his coffee – receiving a grunt as a thank you. “Who was on the phone?”, Sam asked. “Pete”, I muttered. “The police are looking for you… and me, I think”. Dean looked across the parking lot, as if scanning it for unwelcome company. “Let’s go”, he grunted. “Where are we going?”, I asked, sipping at my paper cup. “You’re going somewhere safe”, Dean said. “We have a job”. “And where is safe?”, I asked. “Yeah, where?”, Sam smirked. “She’s not going with us to Lincoln”, Dean said grimly. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “Then take me back to my hotel”.

The brothers looked at each other. “It burnt down”, Sam said. “Shortly after we left the city”. He handed me a newspaper, showing me an article with a headline suggesting arson. I wondered why Pete hadn’t mentioned the fire. “All my stuff was in there…”, I sighed. Dean’s eyes widened. “Your books? Records?”, he gasped. I shook my head. “No, that’s all at my… at Pete’s apartment”. Dean let out a relieved sigh. “But my wallet with my driver’s license, my credit cards… everything”. Sam’s brows raised. “Good. That’s good, Lulu”, he said. “That means they can’t track you using them”. “The leviathans?”, I asked. He nodded. “I’m really in it again, aren’t I”, I sighed. “That you are, sweetheart”, Dean grunted, and opened the door to the back seat for me. “Let’s get you out of it”.

---

We drove north for a few hours in silence, taking small roads. Suddenly, Dean’s phone rang. He picked it up, holding it to his ear, while manning the steering wheel with his free hand. “Hello?... Frank. Thanks for getting back to me… Yeah, look we need… No, look… She’s not… Frank!”. He let out a frustrated growl, and slammed the phone on the dashboard. “No luck with Frank?”, Sam muttered. “He won’t take her”, Dean grunted, and looked at me in the mirror. “I guess I’m going to Lincoln”, I smirked.

Sam cleared his throat. “Seward, actually”, he said. “Sammy…”, Dean growled. “Just, give it a rest, Dean”, Sam sighed. He handed me a paper clipping. “Five similar deaths in the same house; over the span of 50 years”. “What are you thinking?”, I asked, as I looked over the article covering a strange story, involving a toaster in a bathtub, and a man electrocuted to death. “Sounds… ghosty”. “Ghosty?”, Dean grimaced. “Nice word, Daphne”. I sent him a menacing look in the mirror. “If anything, I’m Velma. I don’t just get by on my good looks, Fred…”. Dean muttered something below his breath.

Sam cleared his throat. “Yeah. Probably ghost”, he said. “The other deaths included a man who choked on a piece of carrot in his garage while working on his car, and another who fell of a ladder set up in the living room”. “That sounds… weird”. “Ghosts usually are weird”, Dean grunted. I shook my head. “No, I mean, who brings a toaster into a bathroom?”, I said. “A killer?”, Dean said exasperatedly. I sighed. “Was the guy married?”, I asked. “Yeah…”, Sam said. “To a woman… with hair”, I smiled. “Wouldn’t there be a hairdryer in the bathroom?”. He seemed to ponder my words. “She might be bald”, he muttered, “And the carrot in the garage? Who brings vegetables to fix up a car?”, I asked. “Sam would…”, Dean smirked. “Well, Sam’s special”, I grinned.

“So!”, Sam said, trying to divert the conversation. “Speaking of married. I heard Raul and Chad…”. Dean had told him about our conversation at Bobby’s house. At least part of it. “Yeah… Right before I saw you last”, I said. Deans eyes were fixed on the road in front of him. “And they’re happy?”, Sam asked. I nodded and smiled. “I think so. They moved to San Fran. About to adopt”. “That’s great!”, Sam smiled. “When this job is done, we can put you on a bus there”, Dean muttered.

I suddenly felt rage streaming through my body. “Pull over”, I said. Dean frowned. “Pull over, or I’ll jump out of the car while you’re still driving!”.

Dean stopped the car beside an abandoned gas station. I got out of the car, and walked down the road in the direction we’d been coming. I heard a car door slam behind me. “Lou!”, Dean called after me. “Get back in the car!”. “Screw you!”, I called back. “I’m going home”. He must have run after me, because suddenly his hand were on my shoulders, and he forced me to turn around. “What home? Your hotel is burnt down, and the police are looking for you; after you skipped town with two fugitives. Top it off; we got leviathans tracking you”. “And you”, I snarled. “You’re safer with us… for now”. I laughed sarcastically. “Oh, now you want me around…”. “What’s that supposed to mean?”, he frowned. His green eyes were on fire.

I pushed him away from me. “Three years, Dean!”, I growled. “You called it off; didn’t want me around, because I’d be safer… and because of free will… Well, guess what! I’m using my free will, to get away from you. Congrats. You got what you wanted”. I stomped away from him.

“Yeah. Call up Pete. I’m sure he can pick you up. Bring you home… See how long he can keep you alive!”, Dean called after me. I turned around, enraged. “Jealousy, Dean? Really?”, I snarled. “You trying to tell me you didn’t jump into the first warm bed you could find, after Cass brought me back to Denver?”. His eyes flickered. “I didn’t… Not right away”. He met my eyes again; looking hurt. “Not like you”. “What do you mean?”, I croaked.

He ran a hand down his face; clearly regretting his words. “Sam… went away. I thought he was dead”. He let out a deep breath. “I was alone. Bobby told me to go find you, but you were already… So, I went somewhere else. I couldn’t face being alone”. My heart dropped into my stomach. “It was… serious, I take it”, I muttered. He nodded. “Lisa… and her kid. She was… is, a really great person”. I took a deep breath. “That’s good. I’m happy for you”, I lied.

I wanted to run away; and to scream and cry. But all I could do was stand there, and pretend that he hadn’t just ripped my heart out; and thrown it on the ground, before stomping on it. “It’s over, Lou. Has been for a long time”, Dean said. “Doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business”, I whispered. He tilted his head, and parted his soft lips. “Isn’t it?”, he asked. “No. You chose to not make anything of… this”, I gestured between us.

He sighed. “I came back for you, Lou”. “You never let me know”, I said. “You could have showed yourself, instead of being a creepy stalker, and sending your winged boyfriend to watch over me”. “I spent a year grieving my brother, and missing you!”, he croaked. I looked him square in the face, and pushed hard at his chest. “In the arms of someone else”, I cried out.

“You moved on as well”, he said quietly. “Pete…”. “Was a sad break! For god’s sake, the man listens to Nickelback!”, I whimpered. “Why do you think I stayed in touch with Bobby? Other than the fact that I loved the old son of a bitch… It was my only link to you”. A tear escaped my eye. Dean stepped towards me, reaching for me; but I shrugged him off. “I can’t take back the last three years. But I never meant to hurt you”, he said. I scoffed. “Angels put us together, right?”, I rasped. “That’s why you’re saying this”. “I’m… not so sure anymore”.

I wiped my eyes, and took a deep breath: “What do you mean?”, I asked. “Fate… She’s a bitch, but meeting her taught me something about free will”, Dean muttered. “Fate?”, I asked. “It’s a long story…”, he grunted. “Point is; fate, or angels, or whatever; might have put us in each other’s paths – but we still have choice. Free will”. “To do what?”, I asked. “To act on what’s between us, or not”. He took a tentative step forward. “We can choose not to be together… Or we can choose the opposite”.

“You chose to stay away”, I whispered. He nodded sadly. “Yeah… Because I’m an idiot”. “You really are”, I agreed. Dean put a hesitant hand on my arm. “Please, just come with us”, he pleaded. “For whatever it’s worth, I want you safe. And me and Sam are pretty much the only people I know who I trust to keep you that way, right now”.

I looked into his eyes. His whole being radiated warmth and compassion for me in that moment – and something else. Something I knew what was, but was still too heartbroken and confused to accept. “Ok”, I whispered. “I’ll come with you”. Dean gave me a relieved smile, and opened his arms slightly, as if to embrace me.

I walked past him, and got back into the backseat of the car. Dean got in front of the wheel, and gave me a hard and confused look in the mirror.

---

[bookwormscififan]

Book Review: Artemis Fowl Book 6

Book 6 already? I’ve been reading these too quickly.

Where do I begin? I mentioned in the last review that my weakness is time theories, and this book was the embodiment of what I want in a book centred around time theories!

I empathised with Artemis when the realisation sank in that he had killed the only thing that could save his mother, because the way Colfer wrote that whole section was amazing. The subtle insights into Artemis’ mind and his body language just... deteriorating as Foaly continued to speak was better than anything I’d be able to write!

His plan to use Number 1 to go back in time and steal the lemur from his past self - while very dangerous because of paradoxes - was actually really clever.

I did not like the fact that he guilt tripped Holly into allowing this whole mission. Even if the situation was crucial, you shouldn’t ever use guilt to make a friend do what you want. Never.

He knows how to fly small aircraft? Is there anything that Artemis can’t do?

His connection to the lemur was something I really enjoyed; it was nice to see a side of Artemis we don’t get to see often. Even with the twins, he doesn’t act like this!

Honestly, the part where he figured out that he was part of the paradox that started this whole thing did confuse me, but that’s the fun part of time theories!

I did question every interaction with Artemis the younger, because theoretically you aren’t supposed to talk to your past self, but somehow Artemis managed to work around that rule and not ruin anything.

Holly. It was lovely to learn more about her in this book.

I was so sad learning about her mother, and it made me even angrier when Artemis pulled the guilt trip on her because it was very clear that she was still sore about the death of her mother.

Letting her see Julius again! I almost cried! It hurt me that she had to try and be her past self while so clearly wanting to just go and give Julius the biggest hug she could.

I nearly squealed when she kissed Artemis!

I hope she isn’t too badly reprimanded by the LEP for this adventure, because I want to see her again.

Seeing Mulch and Opal again in their past roles was also really cool. Mulch being this cautious, untrusting character was nice to see and Opal being her plotting self was also pretty exceptional. Also, the little part there about her getting a pituitary gland in her brain to be taller than the other fairies when she became empress? Smart callback. I wonder how human Opal is going?

I’m still really upset that I didn’t get to see Foaly get married!

The twins, though very shortly in the book, made me smile. I was especially sad for Myles because Professor Primate is now no longer.

I knew something was wrong with the way Angeline spoke to Artemis during the scene with the antidote. I didn’t exactly guess Opal was possessing her, but I knew something was wrong.

And that leads me to a point I may need to research more: hitchhiking on a time stream. I’m not sure if Opal should have been able to hitchhike on Artemis and Holly’s stream minutes after they left? I’ll do a little more research and get back to you.

I’m gonna miss little JayJay the lemur. I wish he would show up again, but I do understand that the People should keep him in Haven.

I liked the way in which we could keep track of which Artemis was acting. It was very good to not have to be like, “which Artemis is this?” all the time. Also I forgot how devious Artemis the younger could actually be.

I have a theory about why the past didn’t turn out right when Artemis and Holly went there. Sometimes, due to parallel universes and the whole multiverse theory, things can get jumbled when travelling back and forth in time. Therefore, when our friends went back in time, they may have possibly slipped into a different universe where Butler and Artemis actually go and collect the lemur at a different time and deliver him on their own.

Also, I loved the little hail back to the first book with the ending. Artemis (10) waking up and not fully remembering what had happened, but knowing it was something that could bring lots of money and having to do with fairies. A nice little circle for the story.

Overall, this is probably going to be my favourite book from the Artemis Fowl series, just because it played into my love of time stuff. I was worried it would have too many holes in it that contradict or completely disregard the things I know, but it was actually quite the opposite. I’m glad to see that there can be things I can read that won’t annoy the sanity out of me.

Thank you, Eoin Colfer, for writing this book, and I look forward to reading the next one.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

LINDSAY SCHOOLCRAFT – An Interview with the Artist

Hi Lindsay, welcome to Femme Metal Webzine, how are you and how life is treating you right now?

I’m good, thank you. Life is going pretty well. Really really well, actually.

The last time I interviewed you was back with Mary and the Black Lamb, we can totally affirm that a lot of water is passed under the bridge, so, considering that this band is part of your musical background, how Mary and the Black Lamb show up in your debut full-length “Martyr”?

Oh my gosh! [Laughs] Wow, what? It has been 11 years since we released the album “The City Sleeps”. Unfortunately, Mary and the Black Lamb is no longer a band and that is ok. But it’s just crazy to look back and think about it. When I came to that project, I was one of the main songwriters and I was writing “Martyr” as a solo artist and I felt that the song “Stranger” from Mary and the Black Lamb would fit the sound of this album. So, that song was written between me and the keyboard player Matt Kelley  and I got his permission, of course I treated him really fair and I made sure that he received his royalties. We went ahead and we brought it to Rocky and my producer Tyler and we just worked on it. I’m so happy how it did come out and so, it’s Matt. I’ve been slowly pushing to my solo album and I think it will be the last album on which I’ll do recreation of old songs but I want to do songs like “Stay Away” because I really love it. However, I’ll try and if it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. I’ll take maybe two more songs from Mary and the Black Lamb because I feel like those songs deserve an update and it might work very well and if they don’t work, it’s ok. At least, I can say to myself that I did try. My songs are like my babies and I always feel like they deserve a fair chance, you know? [laughs] And they have to grow up with me [laughs].

So, we have talked about Mary and the Black Lamb and I’m gonna focus on the production of your debut album “Martyr”: how was it? When did you start collecting the first ideas and planning for it?

Oh man, well, we actually started making it without a plan. Unfortunately, next time we will have it and everything started at the beginning of June 2016 when Rocky Gray contacted me with the serious intent to collaborate together. So, we worked on the first two songs: the first was The Cure‘s cover of b and it did turn out really good, we are really proud of it and then  “Warn Me” and “Remember” followed. Back than, both songs sounded quite differently from now. At the beginning, they were just simple ideas but I like that because Rocky sends it like that  and then, you have room to build the melody and the lyrics. I love working with him and he’s on board for the next album too, which is good. In the end, there was no plan and we kept on writing together and then I took my old phone into the night from my first DP. At one point, probably at the end of 2017, we had 17 songs and we took the decision to stop because it turned out to be too much and we had just to pick 13 songs which includes 2 bonus tracks and went ahead to finish this album. It was intense because there were other people involved like Spencer Creaghan who played the strings and also, he wrote the strings sections for songs that may or may not be on the album. We didn’t want to waste anyone’s time cuz’ we are all very busy people. So, at the end we strategically decided to adapt everything and finish with the guest vocals on which different singers have participated. That was it. It was concluded and mastered at the beginning of 2018 but due to my commitments with Cradle of Filth and not finding a record label, there are a lot of delays. It’s fine because I make it work anyway. However, it was a long process and I’m hoping that, for the next album it won’t be long as between the beginning (the production). I think this time we’ll have a clear plan and we’ll just focus on the 13 songs that we have and just that. For sure, we won’t waste any time and it was a big learning curve for me, for my producer Tyler and all my team. Now that we know how we work together, we also have a system and it should not go as long as before.

You have been recently nominated as a Juno Award artist. How does it feel to have reached such a milestone? And how this event will reflect on you and your music?

It’s a dream come true. I was not expecting it. I didn’t know that was going to happen but it did and when I found out, I just couldn’t stop crying. I was so happy, I’ve been through a lot in the past months. Not necessarily good things, that’s ok, they come and go and when this happened, it was such a huge honour because I had been dreaming of it since I was a teenager. I didn’t want to win but just get a nomination and the fact that happened is totally unreal to me.

Beside being an amazing vocalist, you are also an amazing harpist. Now, I would like to focus on your musical background: considering that you enrolled at the Royal Academy, how much did your academic upbringing impact your music?

I started singing when I was a little kid and a big influence on me was Disney, well a 90s child that is going to happen and I was also singing in a choir at school. The first time I learned about harmony was very interesting and I was such a young child. I didn’t start taking serious music until High School and at the time, I was in a punk band and I was taking bass lessons and singing too, even if not so very well. Then, I decided at the age of 21 to start taking music seriously and that when I found about the Royal Conservatory of Music where I went studying classical piano, classical voice and I was learning my theory and I did for about 3 – 4 years while in the meantime I reached a certain level. After, I was considering the option of going back to University at the age of 25, though I did my final application when I was 26. I got into University and I did my first semester and I was chosen for the minor “Classical composition and conducting for orchestra” and my major was “Opera Singing” but it got cut short because I was called by Cradle of Filth. Eventually, one day I may go back to my education. Nevertheless, for now, I’m taking the time to learn the harp from a few people and I would love to go back to study theory. On the other hand, the business and other things in my life have been very intense. I’m on the right path, so, once business is settled maybe I’ll come back to learn more about theory which I would love to do. It’s still a goal of mine in life.

“Martyr” was released via Cyber Proxy Independent. Does it have to be considered your own imprint or are you taking in consideration other external deals?

So, it’s my own little record label composed by me and my laptop in my corner of my room. [Laughs] it’s nothing crazier, still it feels nice that I have that. The reason that happened was because there were a lot of things I was going through like getting distribution, getting the CDs in the European and North American stores, filing the royalties and there’s even more that I do independently with my assistant. All these actions justified a label’s name, so we did come that. Actually, the origin of the name is due to the fact I’m a huge fan of cyberpunk and my favourite anime is Ergo Proxy. I know, the name was just last-minute and we didn’t put a lot of thought into it [laughs] and we just made up the name. Simply, that was it. We were kinda like “We’re Cyber Proxy Independent which is literally me and my assistant in my bedroom named after all my favourite anime” and we just kept going and that’s that. Anyway, it’s just a name in order that people have something to refer to my music, I guess.

You know, if we talk about distribution and licensing, will you consider some external deals?

Yes, what I have to do is that I have to wait until the end of Juno‘s because with a nomination there’s a lot of opportunities for me of which I’m very happy. For example, I have a better chance to have my music featured in movies and TV and it does represent one of my biggest dreams and I would love to do that. Whoever if I win, I don’t care if I win or not, if Kobra and the Lotus, if The Agonist or The Striker and the Single Mother, I’m happy for whoever wins. I’ve always kept the attitude that in the heavy metal world community we always support each other. If I win, owning the title completely changes everything and I’ll have increased opportunity to reach out to a wide audience. In the end, I’m just waiting to see what happens and I’m just being smart.

I think that being appointed just a nominee changes because the name is out, they know how you are and people start raising their heads…

Oh yeah, Canada is a big deal and because of that I gained a few fans. It’s crazy.

Yeah, I know because at the time back in the 80s artists like Alannah Myles, Rush, Autograph and Bryan Adams…

Oh, I love Alannah! Yeah, oh man, I don’t know if Bryan Adams‘s gonna be there and I hope, he’s and I would love to meet him. I hope that Billie Eilish and The Weeknd show up because I love them both. It’s crazy. it’s just crazy. So, this year at the Juno’s is the 49th edition and Jenn Arden, who has been an huge influence on me as a singer-songwriter, of course she’s one of those dark folky types of music really famous in Canada, she’s getting inducted in the Canadian Music Hall of Fame and that’s simply huge. Also, the Canadian musical legend Ann Murray is getting inducted. I think my dad is more excited for that than I am [laughs]. Well, my dad has met Jenn Arden and I really hope to meet her too. There are a lot of women in the Canadian music industry like Sarah McLachlan, Avril Lavigne, Chantal Kreviazuk. They all proved to be such an inspiration that they pushed me forward towards my artistic percorse as a singer-songwriter. Even if it was a bit stressful to get ready with the outfit for the red carpet, I’m just so honoured. We’ll make it there and we’ll make it work. [Laughs]

We know that we have recently split up with Cradle of Filth and the intent of this question isn’t delving into the situation, per se but what did you learn about this experience and how did you improve you as an artist?

What I’ve learned while I was in Cradle of Filth is that it totally pushed me on a more professional level when it comes to handling the touring and the business side of things. It was an amazing opportunity and I’m so grateful that it did happen. I still have so much love and respect the band and the boys. You know, we’re still friends and it’s good. On a final note, it taught me which are my strengths and my weaknesses, so in this case I know where I should improve. Unfortunately, it’s not an easy industry and in my case I’m very lucky because I have a group of good friends who are in the industry and we all understand what’s going on. Although, when it comes to mental health in this industry, I don’t think there’s enough support and respect towards people who suffer from it. Sadly, this industry has taught me too, whatever the situation a lot of good things happened and one of them for sure is to live honestly, to live the truth and to be truthful to what I believe in and to what I want to put into the world. I think I’m ok and I’m grateful for that experience, so to say.

Now all this mental health issue raises a question: in which way, we can start spreading awareness in this industry? Because you know I like writing, I like doing interviews and both you and me, we share a similar history. From an artistic point of view, what can we do?

What we can do is be kinder to each other and when a person in a band, in a community is suffering, it’s nice to reach out and support one another. I think it’s something that can save lives by acknowledging that we are only humans and we are not money music machines. We’re not robots and recognizing that comprehension when we reach a limit because you have been working too hard and you need a break is important. Nowadays, we live in a period and age where there are a lot of expectations towards the touring musicians and where it is required to hold from 3 to 5 different job titles. It’s not healthy and it’s not fair. Fine, it saves money and in the beginning, you have to do it for a few years after that, please consider the mental health and wellbeing of the other band members too because if you don’t start hiring people for these positions, there’s an enormous chance for a burn out. It’s a terrible experience and lately, it comes down to respect and kindness. Naturally, this industry is stressful but we are all in it together and we should all take care of each other. If we lose that idea, we just lose one another.

It sounds really good but tangibly speaking, what can we do for example starting spreading information? It’s something that is really interesting but how can we be much more proactive towards it?

There’s now a hotline for musicians in the United Kingdom where they call in if they’re having mental health problems. I think we need more support like that. Recently, I have read this article about this girl that is actively fighting for women’s equality at Download when it comes to the woman being on the stage and I don’t necessarily think that is needed because there are plenty of women working there. However, what is really needed for example is having a tent in the backstage where women can go when they don’t feel safe or what we should have access to is counselling. I think festivals should start offering a private tent with counselling and if someone needs to go talk about their problems, grieve, cry or have a safe space. Surely, that would make the biggest difference and save lives because touring is not so easy. You miss weddings, you miss funerals and there’s so much that happens to touring musicians and they are just expected to suck it up, carry on and deal with it. It’s wrong because it’s time to start providing more services to musicians to have a place to go. It’s time to put the business aside and acknowledge their feelings. It’s time to be heard and know that they are cared about, all this will make a huge difference.

Well, it’s something interesting, if you ask me, we can join forces together and see if that can work out because it’s something that no one has ever thought about and I find quite frustrating…

I agree. We have lost so many lives lately in the metal community. Some due to health and some other due to some related circumstances, but part of it is because of the drug and alcohol abuse to numb the pain while you have to work. I think if we just start to be kinder and respectful to one another while we set in motion to help everyone’s suffering, we can save a lot of lives so they don’t continue down the dark path and they don’t feel unseen and unheard. I bet what don’t have that this possible to achieve.

This was a complicated question and it does make it difficult to change topic. However, I had a question about your upcoming project Antiqva with Ne Obliscaris‘s Xenoyr. How did it come together and which are the latest updates?

Oh man, that was a drunk decision [laughs]. In 2015, we started to talk about the fact that I would like to do something musically different that wasn’t neither Ne Obliscaris nor Cradle of Filth. But, however something along the lines of traditional black metal that meets the classical sound with strings, choirs and Gregorian chantries. Oh my god, the whole massive idea and I was already composing some stuff which at the end it wouldn’t work out for Cradle of Filth at all. He is just Mr.Darkness like Dark Aestical all the time, always incredibly writing poetry into his lyrics, he’s such a creative source. Definitely, he’s one of my muses. We have just started working on things. Oh man, when I wrote these first demoes, I sent them straight away even though they were so bad. At the time, I was just working with what I had and now, it turned into such a massive project. I’m very grateful because the relationship that I have with the other two songwriters Justine Ethier  which she plays drums and we collaborate together on the orchestrations; and Fabian who’s known as Urzom from Negator which he plays the guitar and he collaborated on the writing and arrangements). Between the three of us, we have such a deep connection and friendship. It’s such a beautiful experience and I never really believed in the spiritual aspect of that gathering together and having the magic among other musicians when you write, however, we have definitely that. It’s really amazing and I feel really grateful to have that. Instead about the latest updates, It’s going good and we have to finish writing a few more songs to have a full album . Then, we are going into the studio in April to record the first single and all this, it’s just for getting the things started which is exciting. I’m really looking forward to it, I love the single, I love the songs we chose. The fans are already excited even though they have listened to anything and they have so much faith in us. I know what I want and I already have the ideas quite clear about the whole plan. It’s good that we’re starting with one song and surely, we will be included on the new album. By then I hope to have more funding to record a live string section and hire the required musicians. We’re just so excited and it has been challenging ‘cuz all the members all over the world and we have to keep up on communication and organisation. We do that very well and of course, they have me and Cyber Proxy. Now that I have established this label, I’ll take care of this band in the best way possible through the help of my team too. I think Antiqva has a good start and I’m happy for that opportunity. I love everyone in the band and I love working with them. They are so talented and they are such good people. So, I think that hopefully by 2022 all the engines will be set in motion for the album and playing festivals, everything depends on how quickly we get through the single [laughs]. But, I don’t wanna rush it, it’s a project of passion, it’s definitely a calling in life. I love doing my solo work, I’m so proud of it and whatever comes from “Murder” I enjoyed. It’s like my baby, my first child while with Antiqva is something that I wanted to do since I was a little kid because at the time I used to write classical music in my head but I didn’t have neither the knowledge nor the tools on how to translate out my mind in a tangible way. Now, I do and I have so much dark classical music in my head that I just want to give to the world. I think we are doing an OK job because I showed to some friends what we have written and they just burst into tears. So far so good but it’s a very slow process and I don’t like how slow it is. I feel like I’m waiting and waiting but I have definitely taken the initiative with the band to super plan our future and to do the best in keeping up with the tour deadlines and to take care of one another. You know, we have been all through a hard time in the industry and we’re not treated very well. This band also represents a brand new start because we’ll set our boundaries and we’ll get treated in the way we deserve. We’ll always try to take care of eachother and always do that, I love this because that can be a huge motivation for longevity with this project. You know, I’m approaching all this with a lot of optimism and positivity, even though I know that a black metal is about [laughs].

My last question is about your next plans: in order to promote your solo album, do you have any concert planned for 2020?

So, the problem is that touring these days is very expensive and it costs a lot of money. We’ve been trying to get some opportunities but how much it costs to go, it’s an insane amount of money and as a record label, I’m trying to be realistic about finances. However, it has been an opportunity for me to tour with just my harp and I love doing those harp tours and those acoustic tours because they are my favourite. I’ll announce some information on that later while right now, what I’m doing is celebrating my 10th as a solo artist by recording an ambient harp album and with that I’ll cover my entire catalog. I’m aiming to release this special full-length this summer. I’m looking forward to it, it will be a little different and it’s not gonna be like on “Murder” on which I dedicated a lot of promotion and I featured a lot of extras. It’ll be quite a soft launch and it’s something I want to do for my fans. Then, from there we’ll start working on the second album, there’s no schedule or deadline for that. But, I think once we dedicate the right amount of time, it’ll go very quickly because a lot of the music has already been composed. So, I have just to fix some lyrics and change some parts in the songs. It’s gonna be amazing because I’ll work with my team again, they are such talented and fun people. Also, I brought with me my guitarist Cody Johnston because it’s a really good songwriter and hopefully, he’ll have much more space on the album. Once again it will be a big project but we’ll start before Christmas. More than anything, the focus of this year is to make myself happy and take care of my health which so far, it’s going good. I just hope to continue.

This was my last question. Please be free to say hi your fans and our readers. Lindsay, I really thank you for this interview. It was a real pleasure. This is your space.

Thank you. That’s amazing that you gave me my first writing job in the industry. How long was that? Maybe 12 years ago and I thank you, because it all started with you, thank you I found my way to Eve’s Apple, because of Eve’s Apple I found my way in Cradle of Filth. You have been so supportive of my career from day 1. Thank you to you and Femme Metal Webzine. Also, I would like to send you a quick thank you to my team that helped you to launch my album. Last but not the least, I want to say thank you to my FANS who didn’t give up on me and they are still supporting my career despite my departure from Cradle of Filth. The fact that people want to stick around and see what I’ll do next that just means so much and I’ll promise that I’ll work very hard and I won’t let you down.

[buddyrabrahams]

Each NBA team’s most important player

The mother of all NBA seasons is nearing. So as you finalize your League Pass subscriptions, complete your fantasy drafts, and prepare the guacamole for your watch parties, take some time to ponder the true meaning of the season — specifically, the benevolent stars who make such a joyous holiday possible with their prodigious athletic talents.

Here I present, each NBA team’s most important player heading into 2017-18:

Atlanta Hawks — Dennis Schroder, PG

“All my friends are dead,” said Schroder in his best Lil Uzi Vert voice as he gazed upon his roster following the respective exits of his last remaining All-Star teammates in Paul Millsap and Dwight Howard this summer. Yes, the Hawks are now as thin as a toothpick, and the incentive for them to “Do Badly for Bagley” or “Make The Fans Puka for Luka” will be enormous. But somebody has to lead this JV squad, and their resident German is as good of an option as any. Perhaps we will see Dennis the Menace gun for 20 and 10. Maybe he develops some nice pick-and-roll chemistry with new additions Dewayne Dedmon and rookie John Collins. Perhaps he finally bleaches his entire head blonde. Anything to give this team a modicum of watchability this season.

Boston Celtics — Kyrie Irving

After selling an arm, a leg, and a hip for him this summer, the Celtics will hope that Irving’s performance in his first season with them does not fall flat. The outside noise in Uncle Drew’s ear will be deafening — mockery of his decision to ditch LeBron James and go off in search of his own empire, jeers at the perceived stagnation of his playmaking skills, pervasive meme treatments of his unorthodox views on astronomy. But Irving is here for one reason and one reason only: to ball out. And that’s what he’s gonna do. Just remember kids, there’s no such thing as distractions when you’re very much woke. [mic drop]

Brooklyn Nets — D’Angelo Russell, PG/SG

If the Nets were a Harry Potter novel, Russell would definitely be the Golden Snitch. Banished from the Magic Kingdom in Los Angeles, the former No. 2 overall pick now finds himself in a situation where he could easily go 20-5-5 this season. Playing next to Jeremy Lin gives Russell the dynamic offensive threat and extra penetrator/creator that he has lacked in the backcourt to this point of his career, and there’s little doubt that D-Lo will be serving as Kenny Atkinson’s go-to scorer as well. His halfcourt skills are divine, his court vision is superb, and his opportunity is now limitless. [points to solid water in veins]

Charlotte Hornets — Kemba Walker, PG

Nicolas Batum is down for the count, so that leaves Walker as the Charlotte Tune Squad’s only true playmaker for now. Fear not though, for this 6-foot-1 slayer of giants is certainly up for the task.

Walker was in peak form last season with 23.2 points a game on 44.4 percent shooting and 39.9 percent from deep (all career-bests). Whether he’s bullying your ankles or stepping back and splashing from outer space, Kardiac Kemba is the Hornets’ cash cow (which is somewhat ironic given that his four-year, $48 million deal marks one of the best bargains in the league today), and he is definitely here to stay.

Chicago Bulls — Zach LaVine, PG/SG

Congrats to LaVine for narrowly beating out the lesser Lopez brother, Michael Porter Jr., and Fred Hoiberg’s polo shirt. A cornerstone of the franchise-resetting Jimmy Butler trade, the two-time Dunk Contest champ is all Bulls fans really have to be excited about in a clear rebuilding year. Even so, LaVine is coming off an ACL tear and might be out a few more months. So the worst-case scenario is that the Bulls are a flaming tire fire, and the best-case scenario is that the Bulls are a flaming tire fire interspersed with some LaVine rim-rockers towards the latter part of the year. Make Chicago basketball fun again.

Cleveland Cavaliers — LeBron James, SF/PF

14 years and over 50,000 minutes later, and The King’s Court remains in session. That troublemaking court jester Kyrie Irving is now exiled, his best knight Dwyane Wade has returned to his side to put the shine back in his crown, and his new cast of noblemen (Isaiah Thomas, Jae Crowder, Derrick Rose, and more) are pleasing. The reviled Golden State empire is a mighty rival indeed. But King James, now aged 32 but with all his physical faculties still intact, will rise from his throne once more and lay down his scepter in preparation for battle. And I fear for all who are forced to stand in his midst.

Dallas Mavericks — Dennis Smith Jr., PG

The Mavs are near-unanimously seen as a non-playoff team in the demonic West, and that likely won’t change no matter how many 20-point games Harrison Barnes drops or how many heartwarming moments our beloved Dirk Nowitzki graces us with. As such, the name of the game for them will be player development and the excitement factor. Enter DSJ and that batty athleticism. The NC State product is one of the rare rookies (ultra-rare when you consider head coach Rick Carlisle’s track record) with the opportunity to start and make an impact right away. Smith Jr. will touch the moon and walk amongst the comets this season, and we will all be better people because of it.

Denver Nuggets — Nikola Jokic, C

Jokic exists in the space where basketball and romanticism intersect. Every post-up is a dance recital, every delivery to a cutter is a precise work of art, and every fast break is a case study in musical theory. Now paired with a like-minded frontcourt partner in Paul Millsap, the Serbian big man has a strong chance to build on his 2016-17 averages (16.7/9.8/4.9) and become the suave slaughterer he was always meant to be. Don’t rain on my parade with cries about his defense, for this is a celebration: a celebration of the man who is making slow and unathletic fashionable again, Mr. Nikola “Big Honey” Jokic.

Detroit Pistons — Andre Drummond, C

Drummond probably came along a dozen or so years too early for his own good. The reality is that a big man stiff who has zero range, possesses limited ability to either protect the basket or switch onto opposing ball-handlers, and shoots like Sheldon Cooper from the free throw line has minimal value in the modern NBA game. But here’s the good news: Drummond is still just 24 years old and his rebound-gorging, rim-assaulting ways at least give him a decent floor as a starting center. With another year of maturity, he will look to become less of an enigma and more of the basketball bully he was born to be.

Golden State Warriors — Draymond Green, PF/C

[jumps into vat of liquid introgen due to the smoldering heat of the take] Truth be told though, this might not even be that bold of an opinion, as Green is legitimately indispensable to everything the Dubs do. Lose one of Stephen Curry or Kevin Durant, and they still have one transcendent bucket-getter who can punch you right out of the scoreboard. Lose one of Curry or Klay Thompson, and they are still capable of raining human suffering on you from long-range. Lose one of Thompson or Durant, and they can still lean on the 3-and-D attributes of the other. But lose Green? Their best distributor, best screen-and-roll player, best team defender, and emotional leader all wrapped up in one? Not great, Bob. Yes, Green is the most vital part of what’s arguably the greatest team in hardwood history, and you gotta get a kick out of that.

Houston Rockets — Chris Paul, PG

James Harden already knows Houston’s personnel and head coach Mike D’Antoni’s offense as well as the back of his beard, which leaves the majority of the adjusting in this relationship to be done by the newcomer Paul. CP3’s methodical, walk-the-ball-up style is in direct incongruence with the up-tempo principles that D’Antoni preaches (and to an extent, Harden’s own ball-dominating tendencies), so a middle ground will definitely need to be reached. Still, with his defensive activity, his subtle strokes of pick-and-roll genius, and yes, his leadership, Paul should provide a hard-hitting yin to Harden’s yang as the Rockets vie for the title of best non-Warriors team in the West.

Indiana Pacers — Myles Turner, PF/C

With Paul George peacing out of Indiana, the springy 21-year-old suddenly has the opportunity to be the biggest Turner on this side of Desiigner. While he could still use some improvement when it comes to rebounding and overall consistency, Turner otherwise has an ideal skillset for a young centerpiece to build a team around. Step 1: manufacture an elite defense using Turner’s shot-blocking and mobility. Step 2: construct a top-tier offense centered on his versatile scoring arsenal. Step 3: profit. OK, maybe it won’t be quite that easy, but it should still be a pleasure to watch Turner raise Hickory Hell in 2017-18.

Los Angeles Clippers — Blake Griffin, PF/C

“The Blake Griffin Show” is not only my favorite new primetime television series of the fall, it’s also the new reality for the Clippers in the aftermath of Chris Paul going ciao. The usual health disclaimers are inescapable with Griffin, whose availability could be the difference between 47 wins and the playoffs or 37 wins and the lottery. But for all you beleaguered point-forward enthusiasts, have I got a new god for you. Should I be institutionalized for believing Griffin has a chance to go LeBron Lite this season with a stat line somewhere in the range of 22-8-7? Probably. But what stands in the ex-top pick’s way in his debut season as Lob City’s sole breadwinner is neither talent nor circumstance: it’s his own body. Are you the gambling type, Clipper fans?

Los Angeles Lakers — Lonzo Ball, PG

It’s time to find out what Big Ballers are really made of. The eldest Ball bro may seem more like a reality star than a professional hooper and his signature shoe may be priced like it’s made of diamonds and caviar. But look beyond the funky jumpshot and the constant negative LaVar covfefe, and you will find a truly special talent. May his passing be so contagious that Adam Silver has to call in the CDC. May the conventions of the sport be turned further on their heads with each full-court outlet pass from his angelic triple-B fingertips. And may the Showtime Lakers bend at the knee and make way for a superior new brand of basketball: The ZoTime Lakers. Tell the haters to stay in their lanes.

Memphis Grizzlies — Mike Conley, PG, Memphis Grizzlies

It’s a point guard-driven league, and by golly, if the Grizzlies are paying Conley over $30 million a year, he darn well better be driving. Fortunately, that the dynamic southpaw did in 2016-17, doing whatever the exact opposite of the big contract blues is by putting forth a career-best year in production. Memphis seems to be going nowhere fast, especially with the untimely (or depending on your perspective, overdue) demise of Grit-N-Grind. But at least we’ll still have Conley getting us lost in the sauce with his two-way exploits.

Miami Heat — Hassan Whiteside, C

Goran Dragic’s nightly 0-to-100 act is enticing, as is the glow of that beachfront property on Waiters Island. But Whiteside’s areas of expertise remain the most irreplaceable on the Heat as he continues to prove his worth as their highest-paid player. The 2K rating has been up for awhile now, the block parties remain the most lit, and the midrange jumpers off glass are a quality wrinkle to what many once believed was a strictly one-dimensional offensive game. Now the focus for Young Whiteside should be on how to effectively match up against stretch-fives a la Kevin Love and Al Horford while still asserting his birthright over the painted area. Open up my eager eyes.

Milwaukee Bucks — Giannis Antetokounmpo, PG/SG/SF

My large, basketball-playing son is here to turn every day into Freaky Friday, bless his heart. Few superlatives could articulate the season Antetokounmpo put together in 2016-17. Embodying the spirit of Oprah Winfrey herself, he pointed at each of his major statistical categories and shouted, “YOU’RE GETTING A CAREER-HIGH! AND YOU’RE GETTING A CAREER-HIGH!” When the dust settled, Antetokounmpo finished with 22.9/8.8/5.4/1.6/1.9 and dragged a Bucks team that missed an entire season combined between Khris Middleton and Jabari Parker to the 6-seed. He’s a monstrosity no matter what end of the floor he’s on, and if he ever starts hitting his jumper with any consistency (which we’re already seeing glimpses of), not to be overly dramatic or anything, but we’re probably all dead. O Giannis, my Giannis.

Minnesota Timberwolves — Karl-Anthony Towns

There’s a reason why our young three-named emperor recently topped the 2017-18 NBA GM survey of which player they would most like to start a team with. True, he may still be a net liability as a defender. But 25.1 points per game on 54.2 percent from the field and 36.7 percent from three is special for any player, much less a 21-year-old pupper. Towns is equal parts physical and finesse, and while the buckets of St. Jimmy Butler and the all-around vigor of the newly-extended Andrew Wiggins will be key for the Wolves, what will truly bring the Western Conference to its knees is when KAT gets its tongue.

New Orleans Pelicans — Anthony Davis, PF/C

I’ve run out of clever eyebrow-related puns, so let’s just look at Davis for what he really is: the biggest walking mismatch in the league today. His trusty 18-footer makes him a tougher cover than a Giannis Antetokounmpo, his 6-foot-11 frame and his 8-foot wingspan make him a more unique hell than any shorter player, and graceful strides make him harder to guard going to the hoop than a Karl-Anthony Towns or a DeAndre Jordan. Now that Davis has hopefully gotten over his growing pains with fellow All-NBA big and ex-Kentucky Wildcat DeMarcus Cousins, the 30-point-per-game mark, the Defensive Player of the Year Award, who knows, maybe even Most Valuable Player honors are all hypothetically within the reach of his octopus-like grasp.

New York Knicks — Kristaps Porzingis, PF/C

Au revoir to the Melodrama at long merciful last. With Carmelo Anthony finally making like an egg and beating it, ’tis a new day for the Knickerbockers. And who better to lead them into their next chapter than Mr. Three Six Latvia? Sure, Porzingis will have some help from a Suicide Squad of sorts: Tim Hardaway’s overpaid son, rookie guard Frank last-name-pronunciation-unknown, and of course Woke Michael Beasley. But the people are finally getting what they want: a 7-foot-3 fairy-tale creature finally getting his moment as the focal point of an offense. All rise for the honorable Porzingod.

Oklahoma City Thunder — Russell Westbrook, PG

I don’t know about you, but I’m still out of breath from the rampage that was the Brodie’s 2016-17 season. His breakup with Kevin Durant left Westbrook free to release his earthly tether and spread his wings to live a war-hungry life among the dragons. Now, an MVP award, a scoring title, and basically every triple-double in NBA history later, Westbrook’s short-lived but nevertheless unforgettable solo career is over, and a new superteam has arisen before him. The equally stunning acquisitions of Paul George and Carmelo Anthony pose as many chemistry concerns as they do title upside, and now the onus in on Westbrook to be the gracious host who welcomes them into his house.

Orlando Magic — Aaron Gordon, PF

The poster child for the #NotMySmallForward movement that I just started literally five seconds ago, Gordon has nowhere to go but up this season. The talented 22-year-old endured a bitter 2016-17 campaign that saw him forced out of position in Orlando’s sardine-like frontcourt and left with an egg on his face after his dud of Dunk Contest follow-up act in what was an overall discouraging year for his growth as a player. But Serge Ibaka and Jeff Green have since gone bye-bye (albeit with rookie big man Jonathan Isaac saying hello), leaving Gordon to (hopefully) see more minutes in his natural habitat as a multi-position defensive padlock and energetic north-south presence from the power forward spot. Don’t blow this for us, Frank Vogel. Not again.

Philadelphia 76ers — Joel Embiid, C

“Live by the Process, die by the Process” -Matthew 26:52. With Philly committing a full five-year, $148 million max extension (albeit with some injury protections) to Embiid after just 31 career games, they are not just taking a leap but an entire skydive-out-of-a-C-182-aircraft of faith. The Cameroonian is well-worth the dice roll though — when he’s on the court, Embiid is a conqueror of galaxies who dominates every aspect of the game from paint to paint and often extends his reign of terror to the three-point line as well. To put it simply, Embiid’s health will be the singular defining factor for the Sixers’ trajectory as a team these next several years. No pressure, bro.

Phoenix Suns — Devin Booker, SG

Fact: Devin Booker scored 70 points in a game last season. Also fact: Michael Jordan’s single-game career-high was a mere 69. I don’t know about you, but I personally require no further convincing that Booker is the greatest basketball player of all-time. In all honesty though, it’s absurd how many different ways the Kentucky product can score the ball, and he’s still not even old enough to get into the club yet. Booker will stunt on you running the high screen or coming off it, and while the crux of his development needs to come on the defensive end, Phoenix has found their meal ticket for the next decade-plus.

Portland Trail Blazers — Damian Lillard, PG

Fresh off the hottest album drop in the history of either hip or hop, what exactly can we expect from Dame D.O.L.L.A. as we enter into a new season? Well, he went 27-5-6 last year and missed out on every major accolade before getting swept in the first round, so he probably has an entire bag of potato chips on his shoulder at this point. But Angry Lillard remains best Lillard, and thus, here’s looking forward to another year of him firing cannonballs from the three-point arc and delivering an assortment of inside-out dribbles to leave your knee ligaments in the abyss. From (number) zero to hero indeed.

Sacramento Kings — Buddy Hield, SG

No, this is not Vivek Ranadive’s alt-account. But as the Kings search for a new savior in their first full season post-Boogie Cousins, the smart money is on His Majesty Prince Buddy ascending to the throne. Hield is thoroughly marvelous at scoring and attacking off the dribble, and the 15.1 points per game he scored as a rookie after being traded to Sacramento provided a momentary glimpse into his offensive upside. And as we enter into the new NBA season, I’d like to propose a toast to the best basketball-playing Buddy since Air Bud himself.

San Antonio Spurs — Kawhi Leonard, SF

Not since the 2001 Sixers have we seen a team rely so heavily on a head of cornrows. With everybody on the Spurs aging and LaMarcus Aldridge getting some major style points for his Houdini act, Leonard in all of his stoicism may be the only thing preventing San Antonio from descending into a state of uncharacteristic chaos. There remains no better player alive if you need a stop on one end and a score on the other end, and as he looks for his third straight 60-plus-win season as the lead singer of the Spurs, expect Leonard’s stone-faced and iron-fisted rule to be front and center in the West once again.

Toronto Raptors — DeMar DeRozan, SG

“I’m just like DeRozan, if I shoot it, it goes in.” While that lyric might not be entirely statistically accurate (DeRozan’s career FG percentage is 44.6, so odds are if he shoots it, it probably won’t go in), his importance to the Raptors is no less. Though he took Toronto the bank over the summer, Kyle Lowry will turn 32 this season. Thus, the burden could increasingly lie on DeRozan to do most of the heavy lifting on offense.

After finishing fifth in the league last year with a personal-best 27.3 points per game, he is clearly fit for the job. But efficiency will always be an issue for No. 10, and it’s probably time to give up on the dream of him ever developing a reliable three-point jumper. So at the end of the day, if Toronto has any further growth to make with this current core, it will almost certainly have to come from DeRozan’s end of the equation.

Utah Jazz — Rudy Gobert, C

Raise thy hand if thou art ready for Rudy Gobert to go St. Anger on the National Basketball Association. Gordon Hayward is no more, but fear not Jazz fans, for The Stifle Tower remains to defend your honor, both literally and figuratively. There’s still a lot to like in Utah this year with Gobert set to catch lobs from fellow Euro stud Ricky Rubio as he and the rest of the team sop up the shot attempts that Hayward leaves behind. Meanwhile, the defense he anchors could potentially prove even more suffocating with the arrivals of rock-solid one-on-one stoppers like Thabo Sefolosha and Jonas Jerebko. Yep, this season especially, this Rudy should be anything but regular-sized.

Washington Wizards — John Wall, PG

With the vivid image of Wall catching the Holy Spirit and sinking a game-winning three in front of his home crowd in Game 6 of the Eastern Conference Semis still crisp in the minds of many, he enters 2017-18 with a lot more work ahead. It will be tough for Optimus Dime to build on a season where he flirted with a 23-11 line while playing in 77+ games for the fourth straight year and finishing top-ten in the NBA in usage. But he is embarking on the fabled age-27 season and will be running it back in a feeble conference with virtually his entire supporting cast still intact. All in all, it’s just another brick in the Wall.

from Larry Brown Sports http://ift.tt/2xCvia3