#this is also my first time drawing him pls excuse mistakes i probably made lmao

[dustedstarss]

do ppl fuck w sleep token here??? tried a new painting style and i really thought that drawing ii's mask would be easier than vessel's... but like four hours later i had this so

[madmadmilk]

mini rant/ramble >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

do u ever like... forget that people on the outside aren’t as open/accepting as you are? like ooof i forget .... that ppl excuse a lot of dumb behavior or just say whatever they want ... idk with my online experiences and friends i consider “close,” i feel “safe??????” not that i’m ever unsafe. and i know i’m not a flawless person, i’ve made mistakes and make mistakes

but like???/???

i see girls hating/coveting/belittling girls in The Real World and i’m like “ew.... why.............. .. ?” like my cousin sent me a pic of an influencer we both follow and i saw it earlier in the day and ahd thougth to myself, “damnnn she looks great :)” but my cousin screenshots it and goes “wow i thought her body looked good but then i remember she got her boobs done.” ???????? AND? SO???? so what??? she looks great! and you can feel her pride and confidence wtf there is no ultimatum..... (my cousin) posts so much “body inspo” things all the time it makes me so uncomfortable hahah cos i openly call myself chubby and idc about “getting to a certain size.” but it’s all she points out in other people like, “oh how are they okay looking like that?” or “goals goals goals” it’s like she seems them only as paint swatches .......... and ye it probably stems from her own insecurity and i’m being selfish but i’m like... pls........ it’s ok to admire or strive for something... but don’t dehumanize them .. . . or act “better than”.... not sure how to ever approach it so i don’t say too much except complimenting everyone in different ways. like at least she’ll hear positive things from me !! and my cousin looks great and and i feel bad for like slandering but like????? girls?? support girls!!

AH!

ok also i heard the word r*tard for like the first time in 5 years and i just had to sit back and blink. it came out when the person next to me was frustrated and they immediately apologized but i was already like..... D:........ and she also talks about how her boyfriend calls her “gay” for acting cute and clingy... like.... guys...?? hello??? ? ?? ? lmao and we’re both artists and her bf said not to go to figure drawing classes/clubs cos he doesnt’ want her looking at other guys (clothed/naked) 

Ha Ha.....

lol and last thing is that another cousin of mine is currently separated from her husband cos of (i assume) his alcoholism and longstanding problems... and it’s kinda the first time /divorce/ has come up in my family. and like???? my aunt was like “i know your brain doesn’t want him... but your heart still loves him so.. forgive him.” and like idk what happened but (???) my cousin is finally talking about how she’s fed up and tired of this and people are pressuring her to just... take it???!!!?!? WHA??? she’s taking time to figure things out, and not everythign can/should be swept under the rug. give her time!!>>>>>>>> and ok but they treat alcoholism as a taboo and chalk it off to “he had a bad upbringing” and “he’s always been like this.” and while i saw like... him at his worst, the generalization makes me uncomfortable. he’s a real person with real problems and like... i hope he gets better for himself?? but idk i feel complicated about him as a person cos i cursed him out once haha 

IDK

im a p open person, i’m kinda sensitive to the emotions in the room–– but i don’t go out attacking anyone. i know most people are p good, just not thinking about everythign or everyone all the time......... but i do sometimes. and that’s why i’m so uncomfortable or awkward haha so lots of time i’m just suffering in silence or saying just a few things to throw off their balance cos they /forgot/ how to be a decent person for a moment

does anyone know what i mean?!

people don’t gotta be perfect but....  idk i forget that some people don’t even try lol

[allofthisnonsenseplease]

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 XDDDD IT;S OKAY GABE IS TOO SPELLBOUND TO REALIZE THE WEIRD FACTOR

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 WHAT IS THIS BIZARRE MAGIC JACK HAS BOTTLE THAT SHIT AND WEAPONIZE IT

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 he's a siren or something seriously

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 :O au where he IS and he's got scales and shit all up his back

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 OOO this.... is his curse

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 is gabe a sailor or just a regular dude

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 ffff Gabe is a pissed off force of fucking nature, the rage of a whole stand of dryads whose forest was burned down and Jack is a half human dryad who gets washed up along the banks of a river where the forest used to be i dunno

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 ooooo i dig it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 **jack is a half human SIREN F U C K

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 LOL gabe is so pissed off and then jack shows up and fuckin hypnotizes him LOL IT'S OKAY I GOT U

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 XD just fukkin into the trash

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 XDDDD yay gabe angst about whether or not jack actually cares or if it's just bc he's a siren!!!

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 Jack has fallen in love with anger incarnate, and it's a damn good thing his inhuman side has given him enhanced healing abilities, 'cause gabe is not a gentle lover at first You think they're both maneaters? Like, Gabe gobbles up the soul and Jack gets the meat? Maybe Jack's full siren. He starts luring men in to replant the forest, then him and Gabe have a romantic dinner. They have a lovely white picket fence made of bones. I have found this humerus. XD

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 LMAO JESUS THAT GOT KINDA DARK

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 the sweet and horrifying monster AU no one asked for would it be better if the men who burned the forest knew they were killing dryads, so jack only goes after the ones gabe tells him are responsible?

firesonic152 - 06/19/2017 yayyyy jack gets weirdly horny after murder

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/19/2017 XD jack is a monster of many appetites

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 so i started watching buffy the vampire slayer of all things today this is not what i thought i would be doing LMAO Concept for half siren Jack: he doesn't know he's half siren, he just thinks he's really good at getting guys into his bed LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 what happens if someone figures out what he is and accuses him of coercing his partners? what happens if that comes up shortly after he realizes that he might actually be in love with his most recent conquest, one Gabriel Reyes?

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 !!!!!! awwww jack is all like "holy shit gabriel is kind of the Best Ever maybe i want more than a one night stand with him" and then whoever-it-is accuses him and he's like oh,,,,,, okay yeah that makes more sense than gabe actually liking me,,,,,,, meanwhile gabe is wondering when tf is jack gonna call

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 ; ;

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 When Gabe finally gets sick of waiting and gives Jack a call Jack is like nO

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 okay, so if Jack won't talk, is Gabe gonna push? 'cause if Gabe takes no for an answer, how are they gonna get this resolved??

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 Gabe probably realizes something is wrong, Jack is acting weird

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 . . . how can he tell? XD

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 LOL good question Oh maybe Jack makes up an excuse like he's sick or something and gabe is like oh no Jack's sick!! Let me go take care of him!! But you see Jack ISN'T SICK XDDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 was being mean to jack. 's prolly 'cause jack is no longer trying to set the world's record for most sexual partners w/in a week

AH!! Stupid panicking jack!! XD that one! THAT ONE!

and then he's like 'shit i have to play sick wtf i don't get sick how does this work???' and he makes a complete mess of it

and gabe figures it out right quick and is kinda pissed, but also way curious now 'cause there are tons of easier ways jack could've blown him off, so why'd he make this crappy effort?

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 gah my phone died right after i sent that XD kay back!! LMAO ja c k lol what if gabe gets back at him pettily by pretending to believe him and going over the top w the caretaking

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 omg YES. PLS. sicfic EXTREME EDITION XD

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 LOL awwwww oh no what if jack thinks gabe is trying so hard to take care of him bc of the siren shit qoq

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO X'D

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 gabe insists on tucking him into bed and making him soup and getting a heating pad and cold washcloth and everything jack is wincing internally (and a little bit externally)

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 he really wants to confess but he doesn't know how and it feels so nice to be cared for (when he pretends that Gabe is doing it for realsies and not bc of the siren shit) also, ngl, when I read gabe insists on tucking him into bed my brain immediately supplied: and tips over face-first into Jack's lips XD

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 AHAHAHAHA awwwwwww gabe carries on until finally jack just like blurts something out probably lol like I'M SORRY YOU REALLY DON'T NEED TO DO THIS SORRY FOR MANIPULATING YOU all in a rush

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 and Gabe's just: 'Well, it was a pretty poor attempt at manipulation. I knew you weren't sick. Wanna tell me why you were faking it after ignoring me all week, though?' Jack: . . . n  O ?

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 LOL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 But Gabe sitting on the edge of the bed, and thinking maybe Jack was just shy and didn't know how to say that he likes gabe so he put on this big show for attention, and Gabe is a bit flattered by that thought, so he's mostly just amused at this point and thinking that things will be all right. He reaches out to where Jack is wringing his hands, and gently takes one of Jack's hands in his. He's looking back and forth between Jack's downturned face and the contrasting tones of their skin as he plays with Jack's hand.

"Tell me what's going on," he urges. "I won't laugh, I promise." He can hear the smile in his voice, though, and he leans closer to rest his head against Jack's.

Jack is slowly filling up with misery as his magic continues to work its effect on Gabe even though he'd never, ever, ever wanted to do anything so horrible. Especially not to Gabe.

pass. :D

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 QOQ sobs quietly

gabe's confidence falters as jack only seems to retract further and further into his shell instead of opening up

jack slowly removes his hand from gabe's and inches carefully away, looking around skittishly

gabe tries to maintain his smile but it's getting more difficult. "whatever it is," he adds, "it's okay, you can trust me."

jack groans and hides his face in his hands. "it's... this is super cliche, but it's not you, it's me."

"that is the vaguest explanation you could have possibly come up with."

jack sighs and drags his hands down his face. "this isn't real, gabe. sorry. you can go home."

that doesn't clear anything up for gabe LOL

"i... don't understand," he says with a surprising amount of evenness.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 Gabe: have...have i entered the matrix or...?

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 LOLLL

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 XD I'M SO SORRY PLS CONTINUE

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 LOL IT'S OKAY THAT'S TOTALLY WHAT HE'S THINKING

jack flops back on the bed miserably. "i'm not..." he struggles for words for a moment. "i'm not what you think, gabe. i'm not human. not... not completely."

gabriel has question marks above his head at this point he's so confused that they have manifested in reality

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 Jack stalls for another minute and then finally gets out "I'm half siren and I manipulated you into sleeping with me by accident, it was a mistake, I'm sorry, I'm probably manipulating you right now, you can go now,,,," OKAY PASS XDDD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 FUCK THAT NOISE XD uhm... gimmie a minute ((this is why i don't rp X'D))

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 XDDDD I'M WORRIED ABOUT MY PHONE DYING AGAIN

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 plug it in, plug it in~! it's gonna take me a couple minutes

Gabe takes a moment to process what Jack's just told him. He understands the words, but... "Wait, wait, wait. That doesn't make sense. You're...? Jack, I've seen you. You're definitely human. Where did you get this idea from?"

Jack draws up his knees and locks his arms around them. He's made himself as small as possible--which isn't terribly small, given his size--and is huddled as far away from Gabriel as he can manage. He's the picture of misery as he talks, face hidden against his knees and voice muffled. He tells Gabe about the person who revealed his heritage to him and explained why he's never had an issue hooking up with anyone who caught his interest. Jack's ears are burning red at that admission--Jack, who had never shown any hint of self-consciousness before. Gabe feels sick at heart watching him. He isn't sure yet if he believes what Jack has told him, but it's obvious that Jack believes it.

"Even if--" Gabe pauses, knowing how skeptical he sounds while Jack is apparently baring his soul. "Even if that were true, do you really expect me to believe that the effects lasted all this time when you hadn't done anything on purpose?"

"I don't know." Jack's gruff voice is almost a whine. "Gabe--Gabriel. Even if it wore off, if I did.... If I actually...." He curls in even tighter on himself. "Please go. I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do."

"You mean like leaving you here like this?" Gabe asks, deadpan.Jack flinches and looks up at him, wounded and uncertain.

"You can't trust me," he insists.

"I can trust my own judgment. I trust your sincerity right now, and I trust that you're hurting because you don't want to hurt me. You're the one with trust issues."

Jack opens his mouth, but nothing comes out, although he looks as if he'd like very much to argue that.

"You don't trust that what I feel right now is genuine. How about I confess something to you?" Gabe reaches out, catches one of Jack's hands and pulls it close to press it against his heart. "I felt something for you before you ever came on to me, back when all I knew about you was what I saw with my own eyes everyday and what I heard from the others. I've had you on my mind all week, wondering when you were going to call, but willing to give you space and not push if that's what you needed to be comfortable. I played your game, I heard you out, and I'm still here. Maybe you don't trust what's going on in my heart, but I do, and I'm the one living with it."

okay quick how do we make gabe immune to sirens so that it's all good for sure?

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 SOBS LOUDLY sorry for disappearing lmao I was actually socializing irl uhhhhhh hmmmm

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 haha no worries! ^^ i've actually been trying to turn that gabe-with-hanahaki thing into a thread ^^;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 ooooo!!!! Still thinkin about siren immunity

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 hrmmmm...

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 I consulted friends and all we could come up with deafness Oh how about Gabe offers to like put in noise cancelling ear things while they have sex to prove he wants it fun sensory stuff :DD

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/20/2017 XD but, like, if Jack isn't doing it on purpose, then any old flirting could be his siren song, right? I'm just imagining him and Gabe trying to talk this out, and Gabe suggesting 'well, just don't try to seduce me, I guess' and Jack being all 'But I WANT to seduce you! ;-;' and honestly upset by the fact that he can't do it fairly, and Gabe is just //// FUCK i want him RIGHT NOW

firesonic152 - 06/20/2017 AWWWWW OMG

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 oh how about it's like... jack genuinely likes gabe vs not genuinely liking all those other dudes so maybe those feelings like. are an automatic shut off to his powers?? idk

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 maybe like the siren powers are activated by hunger, you think? and while Jack's sexual appetite motivated all his other conquests, in Gabe's case he's motivated by love? 'cause he's fukkin' smitten like a goddamn loser? sorry it got too goopy XD

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 AwwwWWWWW yes how do they figure that out tho LOL maybe there's some visual cue that shows up when jack is doing his siren thing and he's unaware of it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 haha what if it was Genji that told jack all like 'lol nice powers bro here's what you're doing' and then hanzo comes along all 'i heard my idiot brother was spreading half truths' oooh...i like the visual cue idea, tho or maybe it's a voice thing? maybe his voice goes a bit smoother, but it's always rough around Gabe, and he gets tonguetied sometimes, which he never did before.

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 AWWWWWW sweeeet gabe starts noticing it when jack sweet talks other people into doing shit without thinking about it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 XD What if Jack, like, just knows stuff about other people--like what would work best to bribe them? But with gabe, he has to discover it or be told. The intuition doesn't switch on, either.

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 boiiiiii

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 'cause, like, sirens were supposed to tempt with stuff other than sex, right?

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 yeah!!! jack staring intensely at gabriel and when gabe is like "what are you doing" jack grumbles about how he can't figure out what gabe wants gabe grins and pulls jack into his arms and is like "you, you idiot" all smoothly

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 al;jbhf;akl meep. <3

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 <33333 jack works so hard and like takes notes on all of gabe's likes and dislikes and favorite things he has a little notebook of lists there is a very extensive nsfw section LMAO

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 XD

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 when gabe discovers the notebook he scribbles "JACK" on the first page surrounded by cute little hearts jack totally didn't cry (he did a little)

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 omg orz please you're killing me

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 >||3c oh earlier i sent a message and it never?? idk posted???

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 what, on here?

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 yeah lol i was just plunging the siren one back into angst by wondering if like. when their relationship is going to shit jack gets desperate and accidentally uses his powers on gabe without really thinking about it

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 D= WHY WOULD YOU NO WONDER IT DIDN'T SEND FOR SHAME!! we'd have to either re-work the trigger for his siren magic or have it so that he went and learned to actually use it, though. 'cause that's still a different impetus than just hungering for the D lol

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 hmmmm i was thinking like they've been getting emotionally distant for awhile but still having sex just for the sake of it but then gabriel is like "i need to take a break jack i can't do this" and like a combination of jack having practiced his powers for the needs of his job to get what he wants and just the primal Thirst triggers

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 ; ; i have a sad

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 oh nooo

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 you caused it

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 I'M SORRY BUT not that sorry

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 jeezus XD

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017

jack doesn't realize what he's doing until he becomes aware of the fact that he's been talking the entire time while gabe has been uncharacteristically silent

jack by now knows why he hadn't used his powers on gabe before, when he didn't know about them. it was because it was about more than just sating a hunger. the fact that he's doing this again - with gabriel - is a scary slap in the face about the state of their relationship

he's also scared by how much he doesn't want to stop. this is wrong for so many reasons but the worst part is that he just wants to let it happen. thankfully though, he gets too caught up in his internal monologue and stops talking. gabriel slowly snaps out of it.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 oh god does gabe realize? or does he just think it was nostalgia and that he was missing Jack? so he's all 'well, maybe things are okay after all and i was just tired before' or something. so they sleep together, and it's almost like it was when they started seeing each other. Gabe is more tender than he has been for a long time. but Jack knows why. He knows that he went and messed with Gabe's head, confused him, and even though he stopped, the effects lingered.

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 SOBS LOUDLY jack had lured him back with a song about how they used to be

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 i'm upset

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 AND WHOSE FAULT IS THAT

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 ASFASVSDHDFH when gabe falls asleep, jack has to get out. gabe's arms are wrapped loosely around him and he feels sick. he goes and curls up on the couch in his office.

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 s toP orz

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 IDK HOW TO FIX THIS SDGSFBDFNVN

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 I do. Gabe is now magically immune. The bad stuff was a nightmare Jack had about his powers going wrong. He wakes up and Gabe comforts him by complaining about all the annoying shit Jack does until he's more mad than upset, and then Gabe gives him sleepy kisses, assures Jack that he still loves him, tells him to shut up and go back to sleep, and wraps an arm around him to hold him close on the soft mattress beneath the covers.

Jack eventually gets comfortable with what he is, enough that he can turn on the charm, flirting with Gabe, and humming, which should work pretty well, but only bounces off Gabe. He can focus his bedroom eyes and hum and sway his lean hips as he crosses the room to sink down onto Gabe's lap, and Gabe will smile and settle his hands at Jack's waist ad lean up as if to kiss him and whisper against his lips: "It's still your turn to take out the trash."

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 afasvdsbdfhfdb even tho this is a cop out it's so cute that i don't care what if they're able to reconcile bc the song was literally just about "let's be in love again" and gabe is like oh goddd mistakes have been made we love each other idk how we forgot that

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 what's love got to do, got to do with it? what's love but a secondhand emotion? orz

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 akcjnasasxknj cries

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 yah TT^TT XD i'll take the fucking cop out fix idgaf tonite

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 you know what me too LMAO jack trying to use his magic to get out of chores and failing is hilarious

SuspiciousPopsicle - 06/21/2017 XD and continuing proof that he hasn't actually mindfucked gabe or whatever so he has to work, but at least he knows that his boyfriend loves him for realsies

firesonic152 - 06/21/2017 yay!!!!

firesonic152 - 06/22/2017 we never fuckin WE NEVER MADE A "VORE ME JACKIE" JOKE WHAT A MISSED OPPORTUNITY