#this is also just lighthearted joking. it's still absolutely valid and okay to be uncomfortable with the idea and with other people

[bookwyrminspiration]

Response to an ask from Ophelia:

(this is the one about your sibling)

Hello! Welcome back! I do truly mean it when I say you don't need to apologize. My asks and how many I have is not something for you to worry about, so there's nothing to apologize for. We're just interacting! We're allowed to do that without any guilt over being annoying. You're not being annoying, you're not bothering me, or anything else. Even if you were, it's okay to be annoying! Friends are allowed to annoy each other and part of being friends is that we still care about each other regardless.

I know you feel bad about the situation, but if it helps I think you were 100% right to tell your sibling. Keeping diagnoses from people doesn't help, and it just means that instead of them being able to identify why they're struggling, they thing they're just not good enough or something's wrong with them. I've always hated the argument that "we don't want to limit them!" or whatever people say--not that I'm saying that's your belief, the topic just reminded me of it. Knowing what's going on with you so you can deal with it properly and understand yourself is the best way to avoid being limited!! Your sibling deserved to know, and I'm sure it'll be a huge relief for them to now have that answer.

I'm sorry if your parents get upset with you for sharing the information, but I don't think they should've kept it secret in the first place. It is an awkward situation to be in though, so I'm sorry you're going through that. Also my apologies if my response isn't sympathetic enough, I guess I just think that even if it wasn't your place, you had the information and it was the right thing to do to tell them, even if your parents get upset. And that that is enough to offset or make it worth any repercussions--but that's my opinion. It's valid to have a different response.

I understand being terrified of being wrong about those sort of things, but also it's a learning experience! I remember when I first considered the possibility that I could be autistic I was hesitant because up until then I'd only heard stereotypes, and then there's so much pressure on fitting said stereotypes and how hard it can be to get a diagnosis and it felt like I'd have to prove I was autistic. But I've come to learn that the system is just very difficult and already set against me, so my experience and knowledge of myself matters more. And the community is very welcoming and open, so no one who matters is going to be upset if something turns out wrong. Though I will say having two psychologists 100% certain you're autistic is a pretty good sign that it's not wrong.

I will say, just based on our interactions, I think it might be one of the reasons we can talk and relate so well to each other in different ways! Sharing similar experiences to show you relate and understand is something autistic people often do, same with experiencing and describing emotions differently. But that's just what I've noticed, so feel free to disregard me

I can understand why you're uncomfortable with other people coming to that conclusion for you, though, so I'm sorry that's how it's playing out for you. It's such a personal thing and other people having such big says or being convinced of certain things can feel...invasive? Like I want to deal with it and learn on my own, not you do it, if that makes sense. Maybe it could help to look into things more on your own so you can understand yourself with less outside influence. I know you said you've started looking at symptoms but there's a lot out there!

Once again, apologies if my response isn't entirely appropriate or doesn't match your feelings on the subject, I guess for me finding that out about myself was a huge relief, and I see it as a positive, so I might not have the same reaction as you anymore. If there anything I can do to help in this area please do let me know. I think you have a very solid foundation to build off of, but this is about you. Take as much time as you need, and please tell me if I'm overstepping any boundaries or making you uncomfortable.

you don't need to apologize for venting! you're allowed to vent! my day is just getting started so we'll see how it goes, but I hope your day was/is/will be okay <33 emotionally i am watching the sunset with you from the top of a tree.

(also yeah speaking your truth seems really weird and I don't get it. when people say like "it's true to me!" as well. like it can't be true to you unless it's true in general. it's the truth. it either is or isn't. anyway I don't use the phrase.)

you're also absolutely right to be obsessed with eleanor wright, she's great. I mean we've never met her but still!!