#this is allllll my money

[wuntrum]

mentioned maybe switching to something in tech career-wise to my therapist and he told me someone he knows who got a certification in cyber security w/o any other schooling and 2 years later is now making 300k/year working from home. grits teeth

[vampmilf]

finally have all my tour guide shifts in order and planned so i did some calculations and if everything goes according to this plan ill make roughly 35k kr this summer just from that 😎 my fall vacation is soooo safe

[aimfor-theheart]

i need more money life is so silly

[ishouldgetatumbler]

Harry Potter sucks ass.

The main characters have no meaningful flaws, the worldbuilding is dogshit and there is no thematic maturation.

and that's just talking about the really big problems: the ones arcing from the start of the series to the end.

[yoshistory]

Olive's hopefully final surgery is at the end of the month (should be slightly less intense on her body than this one was) and Rascal's got an ear re-check soon to see if the medicine fixed his ears fully or if he needs something more aggressive

[hopkei]

Fantastics x GIANNA, mini, and JELLY

[taylor]

it’s a sad sad day when you have to list your signed taylor stuff because you literally have NO money (on account of not having a job, #lol) because i’m about to make a listing for the 7 signed midnights inserts i have because i literally have no other choice even though i’d rather jump off a bridge than part with my signed taylor stuff 😭😭😭

[gravevelvet]

intro to stand and deliver makes me unreasonably happy

[proseltzer]

ppl from my grade are just graduating college now and i graduated three semesters ago and like. it’s a weird type of jealousy im feeling rn

[godisafallacy]

I need a good scream!!!!!

[kashverse]

okay okay okay, imagine like

Geto has allllll the hair products. but his darling has gargantuan amounts of delicious bodycare.

and his guilty pleasure is stealing those, treating himself like the pretty princess he is

thanks for requesting...!! been kinda lazy with answering requests sorry lolzz 😴 wrote this thinking about @norikuna as usual

your bathroom is a fortress of beauty. an empire built on hydration, nourishment, and glow.

it started out simple—your body wash, a few lotions, maybe a nice scrub. then, suguru moved in, and suddenly, every known hair product to mankind had taken residence. deep conditioners, curl creams, serums, scalp oils, mystical potions that looked like they were extracted from the fountain of youth. the balance? 50/50. suguru had haircare dominance, and you reigned supreme over bodycare. but that balance was now under threat. because one of your body washes was disappearing at an alarming rate.

"this is a violation," you muttered, staring at the nearly empty bottle of your $30 vanilla bourbon body wash that you were absolutely sure had been full last week. you turned, eyes narrowed at the shelves—your shelves—lined with lotions, creams, exfoliators, butters, and at least five different types of shower oils. then, across the room, were suguru’s shelves. shelves he personally built because his hair products started overflowing onto your side.

multiple hair masks from brands only spoken of in whispers

serums that claimed to revive the soul, not just the scalp

a lineup of conditioners so potent they should be classified as performance-enhancing drugs

curl creams in glass bottles, because suguru insisted “plastic is beneath my hair”

a wooden comb set that cost as much as rent

so, with everything at his disposal, why was your husband suddenly dipping into your inventory? you set the bottle down, deep in thought. there were only two suspects.

satoru the retriever, who had been guilty of thievery before (he once stole an entire bath sponge and chewed it like it owed him money).

suguru, your beloved fiancé, who you trusted—but clearly, not enough.

time to get some answers.

you found suguru in the living room, fresh out of the shower, hair loose, curls looking suspiciously soft. “suguru,” you started, holding up the bottle like a lawyer in a courtroom. he blinked. "yeah?"

"are you using my body wash?"

"your body wash?" he echoed, in a tone that could only be described as criminally evasive. you narrowed your eyes. “my vanilla bourbon body wash. kept on my side of the bathroom. looking a little empty. looking a little used.”

there was a pause. a fraction too long. then, from the couch, satoru the retriever let out a dramatic, accusatory yeowl. even he knew. suguru, betrayed by his own fluffy ally, sighed and rubbed his temple. 

“okay, listen—”

“oh my god. it was you.”

he raised a hand. “before you react—”

“BEFORE I REACT?”

“—it’s really nice, okay?” he admitted, unashamed, bold, disrespectful. “it smells good. it lathers well. i was just curious.”

“curious?” you repeated, reeling. “you have an entire product line in there that could single-handedly restore a bald man’s hair, and you chose my body wash??”

“it’s really good, babe.”

“so is your five hundred dollar shampoo but I DON’T USE IT, DO I?”

suguru had the nerve to look smug. “you can if you want.” you let out a long, exhausted sigh, rubbing your temple. “do you even know how rare that body wash is?”

“yeah,” he said, shrugging. “i had to drive across town to buy another bottle before you noticed.”

pause. you stared. suguru was not a man who cracked easily, but right now? he looked like a man with a secret. “suguru.” you stepped closer. “how long has this been going on?”

his lips twitch.

“suguru,” you repeat, voice slow. dangerous.

he sighed. “….two months.”

you nearly dropped the bottle.

“TWO MONTHS?”

“listen, it started as an accident,” he said quickly, like this was a reasonable conversation and not a confession of absolute treason. “i ran out of body wash and grabbed the first one i saw—”

“THE FIRST ONE YOU SAW WAS MINE? NOT EVEN A BACKUP??”

“—and then i liked it,” he admitted, completely shameless. “so, you know. i just… kept going.”

you were devastated. your own fiancé. your own bathroom. betrayed.

“i can’t believe this.”

“to be fair,” he added, completely unhelpfully, “your lotion is really nice too.”

“YOU’RE USING MY LOTION TOO??”

“…just the cocoa butter one.”

satoru the retriever yeowled again like he was personally mourning your loss. “unbelievable,” you muttered, gripping the bottle. “i’m revoking your access.” suguru chuckled, leaning back on the couch. “good luck with that.”

you frowned. “what does that mean?”

he tilted his head, smug and gorgeous, with the softest, most radiant skin of his life, and said,

“i just restocked. try hiding it, i dare you.”

[twistedappletree]

UPDATE: just got home and popped the hood - battery was at 9/12.2v so it’s DEAD dead lmaooo i put it into recondition but ordered a new battery since that’s only a temporary fix. it’s been about 5yrs so it makes sense that it crapped out. waiting for them to confirm the new one is in stock and i can go pick it up so i can (hopefully) install it by tonight 😭

guess who’s car just broke down lmao

[themareverine]

Bond Girl, part 1 | patch!Logan x fem!reader | TEASER

synopsis: the first adjective that leapt to mind the second she’d seen such a thing—obscene. like bait from the possession of man everyone here knew to more vile than any beautiful thing could be. because, if Logan is anything, it’s beautiful. and his taste in jewelry? immaculate.

warnings: patch!Logan, flirting, suggestive themes, part 1 of a co-written little thing, casino atmosphere, booze, gambling, language, ⚠︎

a/n: welcome to my brain the past few days, lol. taking up allllll my headspace. and no I am not announcing the co-author, not yet, it’s a surprise.

: ̗̀➛ IT'S LIVE HERE ！！！

TEASER

“You won this?” turning in her seat, she gently pushes him back with a hand to his chest. “In cards? You always play for cash,” without flinching, she probes for an answer—Logan never bets collateral. He always plays for money, or, on occasion, information.

It was how she’d come to know “Patch”—Logan. The man of Madripoor. In all her months of watching him play, she’d only ever seen him accept collateral one other time—she protected the Van Cleef on her arm nearly with her life.

“It has to be worth a small fortune,” quietly she turned back to the mirror, slightly entranced by the diamond’s brilliance.

He chuckled, “Not small enough,” his finger brushes a tendril of curl hanging from the simple pins at the base of her neck. “Wasn’t thinkin’ about how much it cost, sweetheart. Too busy imaginin’ you wearin’ it to bed,” strong hands skim down the neckline of the dress, an elegant yellow satin slip cut dangerously up the thigh, thin and leaving mostly nothing to imagination.

“But I guess this’ll do for now, hm?”

Willpower of the gods had somehow propelled her out of the chair, hand in his as he’d tugged her against his chest. Arms fortressing around her softness, holding her closer than sin. She finds herself lost under the heavy of his gaze, even as her fingers trail up the sleeves of his suit jacket.

Crisp as snow, it cuts him perfectly, as if designed for him in pristine, laser focus. Sublime detail. He’s warm. Chases away the slight chill pebbling the skin of her arms, the A/C of the hotel suite more tangible than ever.

“For now,” she’d echoed with a small smile, amusement passing through her tone. Its tone is light with a breath, but low. Simmering. “Maybe if you’re good, I’ll ask about that active imagination of yours later.” Hand finding his cheek, she guided him into a slow, unhurried kiss. “Feel lucky tonight, Lo?” Words murmuring against his lips, his head angled to deepen the kiss, slanting his mouth over hers.

His chuckle was light, entertained as his fingers traced along the straps at the back of her dress. “Ain’t about feelin’ lucky,” tipping her chin up, he smiled at her darkly. With purpose, reverence. “But if it makes you feel better—you bet, sugar.”

Absolutely obscene.

taglist: @thevoicefromanotherworld @sidkneeeee @permanentlyexhaustedpigeon88 @eternallyfrustratedwriter @ayamenimthiriel @pandapetals @bpmiranda @Misscrissfemmefatale

[alba1221141]

Mary Janes

.˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.☁︎

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵

Arcane High school AU Jinx x female!reader

1

Jinx

"You got the stuff?"

"Yes, dumbass, when do I not?" My hand dives into my pocket. Out comes the 5g of Mary Jane.

"Now this? This is quality. High-end." I waggle the bag. "Don't waste it. Got it?"

Today's buyer nods. He's a boy, tall enough, with the kind of face that might make him passable to get with. He's definitely, probably, bought the weed hoping to get into some druggie girl's pants.

"$20." I hold my hand out.

Cue the grumbling. Expletives.

But hey, there it is—the crisp twenty, right in my palm.

"Pleasure doing business with ya!" I grin, pocketing the money as the boy walks away with a newfound swagger in his step.

Dealing’s not hard—not for me, at least. Dear old Dad supplies the goods: weed, ecstasy, coke, sometimes mushrooms. I supply the school. Easy. Weed’s the favorite, though. Always weed.

Then—ugh. That sound.

Click. Click.

Mary Janes.

I grimace.

And there she is. Little Miss Expert Saboteur. Brows furrowed. Lips tight. Clipboard ready.

"Ah, toots." I peel myself off the wall, sauntering over. "Come to ruin my fun again?"

"Dealing contraband is forbidden on school grounds," Y/N has to push the words out It looks like it hurts her to even utter the word contraband.

I clutch my chest, gasp. "Oh no! A crime! A horrific, terrible crime!" I stagger back, mocking it up real big. "Lock me away forever, toots!"

Nothing. Not even a smirk.

She scribbles on that stupid clipboard, eyes all slitty.

"Ohhh, I see how it is," I sneer, stepping closer. "Writing me up, huh?"

"Knock it off, Jinx," she snaps.

I raise my hands. Innocent. Halo practically glowing. "What? I didn’t mean to offend Little Miss Brown Nose."

Clipboard. Thrown. Smack.

And she’s off. Stiff-backed. Nose high.

I pick up the clipboard. Flip it open.

"Jinx, dealing pot on school grounds again. Issue: week detention."

I snort. Same old crap. She’s such a kiss ass.

Me and her? History. Friends once. Used to be. Past tense. Before she became this tight-ass snob. Okay, fine—maybe part of it’s on me. Messed-up kid. Scary. Whatever. But the kicker? Silco takes me in, and just like that—childhood, fairy tales, besties—splat.

I chuck the clipboard into the trash and light it up.

Flick. Flame.

The fire snaps to life, chomping through her pathetic little notes like it’s starving.

I watch, arms folded, leaning back, enjoying the show. A grin creeps onto my face, sharp and hungry.

The flames crackle, roaring as they climb up the sides of the trash can. The heat bites at my skin, but I don't flinch.

And then—BOOM.

The trash can goes off like a cheap firecracker, bursting with a loud pop. I grin at the sight.

Her precious clipboard? Allllll gone.

"Oopsie,"

︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿︵

Y/N

Gosh, gosh, gosh!

She just has to mess up everything all the time. And she just had to keep the clipboard, god knows what shes done to it, probably discovered a way to it into some kind of powder to snort.

And why on earth did she have to taint the school with her sketchy little deals, is it that hard to refrain from drug dealing on school property, apparently for Jinx its a severe struggle.

Gosh and to think i'd once associated myself with her, well... she was different then, less... deranged. She was Powder, but anyone with half a braincell could see the foundations of Jinx, the outbursts, the meltdowns... it was only a matter of time before she cracked... i just wished it was later rather than sooner i just wanted more time.

I slam the locker shut, hard enough to make it rattle. Ugh, why was I even thinking about her? Like, seriously, what is wrong with me? A fixation? Gross. Absolutely disgusting. I yank at the buttons on my shirt, finally grabbing my cheerleading top and shimmying into it.

"Whats going on with you today?" Mel nudges me making me jump. “You missed Caitlyn’s romantic musings. Again. Which as trivial as they are you seem to love.”

Caitlyn huffs, "They're not trivial... just why cupcake why does she persist with that damn name, but that's beside the point... what's going on with you, you've been blanking out."

"No, no, I'm fine, probably PMSing is all." I deflect leaning against the locker.

Mel, Caitlyn, and I have been tight since freshman year. Well, me and Caitlyn long before that. Her parents—the Kirammans—are, like, dripping in generational wealth. Private tutors, fancy everything, the whole deal. Then, because Caitlyn absolutely insisted, they finally caved and let her go to public school.

After the whole disaster with Pow—no, Jinx—we kind of just... found each other. Both of us needed normal, and we’ve been best friends ever since.

Mel's a senior, a year above us, but when we showed up at Piltover Community three years ago, she just... adopted us to put it simply. She’s a Medarda—her family owns part of the trust that funds the school. Everyone kisses her feet. Head of student council, Model UN, you name it.

Cheerleading practice goes by without anymore qualms until... Water’s spraying from the celling everywhere, that damn beeping piercing everyone's ears — the fire alarm. It’s not a drill. Cait and I would've been told, Mel would've given us the heads up.

But I know exactly who it is. Blue braids trailing behind a certain figure slipping out of the gym. She spots me instantly, turns around, and—the audacity—winks at me.

Jinx

.˳·˖✶𓆩𓁺𓆪✶˖·˳.☁︎

authors note: hey this is my first fanfiction on Tumblr, hope you like it :) please like and reblog!

[omagpies]

Hello again, here for a few random questions about the Roleswap AU (Cool you liked my drawing by the way, might post more at some point in the future if that's alright ^_^)

So, just asking because I'm curious about it ofc and from what I read on the Roleswap posts, you may have not discussed it sooooo...

So, we know from the posts, Swap!Jimmy crashed the ship like in canon while Swansea was off his shift and does his thing, and from the first post of the Role Swap AU showed Curly asking Anya if she crashed the ship, did anyone consider or try to blame Swansea for crashing the PE ship? Because he was there last (before Anya got cooked) that I assume everyone could account, so besides Anya, HE'D definitely be a 'main suspect'

(I have a idea/headcanon that Jimmy tried to point fingers at both Anya and Swansea (mainly Anya though because ofc he does, the prick) and tried to convince Curly and Daisuke that it was those two, with Curly not hearing most stuff he'd say about either of them and assume it was a system failure or malfunction though it does linger in the back of his mind which leads to him asking Anya if she was the one who did it (and for Daisuke, his opinion I'm not sure about so I'm leaving it blank) obviously this is just my ideas though and I'm asking you about it so I'll hush about this now lol

2. This one's about Anya and Curly and them on the idea of them returning and recovering back on Earth, I know right now in our world (along with Role Swap's, most likely) don't have a way to fully recover a person's vision after loss. However, I'm curious on both Anya and Curly's perspective on, if in their world's future, a proper method to recover a person's vision was discovered, one they had enough money and accessiblity for them to do so, do you think Anya and Curly would discuss or consider trying to have an operation to recover Anya's sight? Just a random thought that came to me at some point.

Alright, I'm done and need to be off now. I hope you have a good day, afternoon or evening!

the crash happened during Anya's shift, and Jimmy made sure to point allllll the fingers at her as the one who allegedly got to the cockpit right as she was steering the ship into the asteroid. Swansea knows her enough to know she wouldn't crash the ship maliciously, but he also knows her enough to know she's a klutz, so he's silently on the fence and observing and biding his time until he knows more. as for Daisuke, this is his first trip on the Tulpar as the mechanic and before that he's only done one haul on the Tulpar as an intern (in this au he goes on his intern trip a few years earlier than in canon, falls in love with engineering, and spends the interim years in trade school), so he doesn't know anyone but Swansea that well and follows his lead. this leaves Curly, who has reasons (however flawed) to trust Jimmy, but also cannot believe that Anya would do something like this.

i think they would investigate the idea at the very least if it ever became available, but they would probably find that it's too risky for Anya to undergo any major surgeries after everything her body has been through :"3

(more roleswap au)

[communist-hatsunemiku]

so OOHHHHmy fucking god. I haven't had time to post about this, but: longtime followers of CHM may recall that my stepbrother is really fucking annoying and is an antivaxxer plandemic joe rogan-pilled dudebro. And he's always kind of lowkey pissing me off but the past 5-6 months has been fine. Like he seemed to be moving away from that shit or at least knowing not to say dumb shit to me.....BUT

My step sister(who I actually very recently got wayy more close to like literally overnight, but thats another post!) just spilled allll this fucking tea to me, that she got from my brothers current girlfriend. And my brother is like fully off the fucking deep end, he's seeing like maybe a dozen(idk how many but the number 30 was mentioned) different women and lying to all of them, he's gambling a fuck ton AND! AND! he has sunk a bunch of money into crypto, hes broke af cuz of it. and for some reason he has been telling all these women that my step sister(his blood sister!) is a psycho bitch who cant be trusted??? Like literally for no reason

And he's been keeping allllll of this shit from me and presumably the rest of the family. Like I fully need to have an intervention with this dude, i cannot be friends let alone close brothers with someone who does this shit!!!! AND THE MOST AGGRAVATING PART!! is that he holdehimself out as this enlightened being like he's aligning his chakras and one with the universe BULLSHIT!!! Just top to bottom rank bullshit, it makes me so fucking mad like you are a FAKE PERSON!! There is no depth to you there is nothing there! You are a fucking joke!!!! a bad one!! AHHHHHHHJJJJJjdiwjfj