#this is all spurred by the fact that i cant find the bracelet my dad gave me shortly before he died. because im a worthless waste of oxygen
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when I think about how many nice valuable items I have misplaced over the years it really makes me want to kill myself unironically
#i camt express how much shame and guilt and self hatred i feel#like it sounds ridiculous but i hate myself for many reasons one of which being that i cant hold on to anything nice and i cant keep#track of anything at all#even though im like 99% my grandmothers diamond and gold heart necklace (which my dad bought her for her birthday in the 80s)#was stolen from my dorm room bc my shit ass roommate brought people into the room regularly without asking me while i wasnt there#i still have that nagging doubt in the back of my mind. like i know i probably didn't leave it somewhere. bc why would i take off a necklac#in public like yeah ill take off a ring or bracelet to wash my hands but why the hell would i take off a necklace#so likei know it PROBABLY wasnt my fault. but i will never know and that hurts so much#mia.txt#this is all spurred by the fact that i cant find the bracelet my dad gave me shortly before he died. because im a worthless waste of oxygen#lmfaooo#anyway. its the adhd tax but like. with meaningful items
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