#this is a mix of angst funny stuff and random crap

[stargazeraldroth]

Dark Choco Cookie Headcanons

 ... But they’re all very specific to how I interpret his character and includes self-projection, because I am due for a reality check and God has not been vibing with my rancid maladaptive daydreaming.

(PS: I won’t be doing any headcanons regarding the Strawberry Jam Sword because all of my headcanons are tied to one of my OCs, so yeah)

TW (CW?) for mentions of suicidal ideation and eating disorders (there’s nothing too in-depth or detailed, but they do get mentioned). If there’s anything I missed you can add them in the tags

- He’s demiromantic asexual

- The “Young Prince” costume/stage of his character represents his teenage years. I’m thinking from about... maybe 14-18? When do people in South Korea get officially recognized as adults? (since, y’know, Dark Cacao Kingdom is based on Korea)

- He was an absolute menace during his teenage years. I’m talking an absolute GREMLIN. Absolutely feral. If there’s a way to get into trouble, he’s doing it. Dark Cacao Cookie had to get a child leash for his TEENAGER

- This man cannot cook for shit. If any of you play Genshin Impact, think of the Raiden Shogun and how you literally cannot use her to cook, except its worse. You guys know those jokes about people cooking and some unknown substance comes out, but it’s actually alive? THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS. You let this man make ANYTHING, be prepared to deal with the Living Abyss 2.0 because he’s recreating the Licorice Sea in that pot

- With that being said, there’s even a sign in the Black Citadel and COD’s lair that reads “Dark Choco Cookie, NO”. Bro isn’t even allowed to step foot into a kitchen anymore (the Cookies of Darkness learned the hard way)

Poison Mushroom Cookie: Do you remember... the Shroomies incident?

Pomegranate Cookie: We agreed to never speak of the Shroomies incident ever again.

- Similar to how I headcanon Dark Cacao Cookie, Dark Choco Cookie is actually fully resistant/immune to the cold. If anything, it just makes him stronger. On the contrary, he doesn’t do well with hotter temperatures and will literally get sick is exposed to heat for too long

- He is... gender~ (when I picture him in my head, I do not picture a man nor a woman. I picture gender)

- When he was younger, he had a music box that he treasured a lot. It would help him fall asleep as a child and the nostalgic value carried into his teenage years. It’s still in his old bedroom, collecting dust, and playing it will only give a sad, broken version of the once lovely melody

- He knows how to dox (is it spelled dox or doxx) people, but he’s never done it because he doesn’t have a reason to (just you wait Pomegranate Cookie)

- Bro probably has insomnia and an eating disorder, or had them at some point in the past

- He has a weird obsession with lemon-scented cleaning products. If it doesn’t smell like lemons, or at least like some kind of citrus, he’s not using it

- He has/had a habit of running his hand through his hair, playing with his hair, chewing his hair, and just... holding it in his mouth. After his hair got cut short, he would instinctively reach back to grab his hair, only to grab nothing

- He has severe ADHD and autism (if I have to suffer them so does he)

- He has a math-related disability. The numbers just don’t compute, the logic doesn’t work. He can do basic math and that’s it (same as above)

- He plays Skyrim and somehow always ends up as a stealth archer thief

- He watches ASMR compilations to fall asleep and never ends up falling asleep

- He gets the crispy chicken sandwich from McDonald’s

- His favorite sodas are Dr. Pepper and the cherry Pepsi and Coke

- He listens to a combo of Melanie Martinez, Vocaloid, Billie Eilish, Twenty One Pilots, you get the idea

- When he was younger, he was very curious about the Licorice Sea, almost to a concerning degree. There were many times where he would try to sneak away to the shore to get closer to it, in some cases being caught trying to go into the sea. During the COD’s mission, even though he was able to keep himself from wandering off, they noticed how he seemed to absentmindedly stare into the horizon of the ocean. To this day, no one knows why he was kept in such a trance by the cursed waters

- When he was younger, like teenage years, he struggled with intense pyromaniac tendencies. He could not be left alone with matches, lighters, explosives, anything

- While he’s not actively suicidal, he is passively suicidal

- He has maladaptive daydreaming (bro imagine how boring and empty his childhood was)

[blade-that-was-broken]

The JD that actually spent 20 years traveling the world before reconnecting with his brothers has got to have some real Wack stories to tell.

Like not just survivalist stories imagine the people he must have met, the shit he must have done. He could have had periodic breaks where he settled down and joined like a hippie commune or something for a few years. He went out into the world with the only goal to explore and discover who he was without the parentifaction.

Angst is good but the idea that He went out traveling the world with nothing but survival skills and an elementary school level of education and he fucking thrived is better. He’s seen and done so much stuff has held so many odd jobs has so many friends and is probably a local cryptid of several communities. Not in like a moth man way tho in like a Johnny Appleseed kinda way. he just shows up and gives good advice for things like hunting fishing or music writing. Buys local goods maybe sells you something and then leaves and you don’t see him again for years.

HAHA YES

Absolutely 100%

Like him just swinging around and being all like OH! That looks kinda cool! And then just chilling out with people for a bit. Or him being like hey, can you teach me that? And then him spending six months learning to make pottery or something.

I dunno, he just seems like the type to get distracted by just doing things. And yes, probably teaching too. Which is funny because he probably would think of himself as a crap teacher. I love this entire idea. Kind of that whole mix between a hermit and some dude that just goes around that everyone kind of knows about but doesn't really know, know.

You know that trope with the guy that always seems to know a guy? (Aragorn Lotr, Eliot Spencer from Leverage etc. ) I feel like JD would kind of be that guy. He brings out this absolutely random knowledge you wouldn't think he would know (and he knows by experience rather than books/etc) and wherever you go, he seems to know a guy. (Everywhere I've gone with my dad, we almost always meet someone that he knows. It boggles my mind)

So you know, tribes start visiting each other and someone comes to Pop Village and be all like oh hey! John Dory! Thanks for that fishing tip; I keep catching these wild sized bass or whatever. Or someone just being like "dude thanks for finding that really hard to find thing for me a couple years back, that's awesome" and his brothers are just like what in the world is going on?

Okay, that one ran off with me. Idk what I was thinking now.

It's like he could just cycle around the tribes or whatever, showing up every few years and then leaving after a while. The concept entirely cracks me up